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21yr old with low libido and trouble maintaining erection
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21yr old with low libido and trouble maintaining erection

Hello, I am a 20yr old male and I have recently noticed quite a significant reduction in my libido and am having problems maintaining erections. I had a long term girlfriend for about 4 years and we had sex on average 3-5 times a week (she was my first), and I was more than capable of going 2 or 3 times a night at times too. We broke up about 4 months ago but after a few weeks decided to stay 'friends with benefits' and the sex was amazing. Then I met another girl through mutual friends one day and she was a 10/10 on all accounts - absolutely gorgeous (even though she wasn't my normal type), and we got into bed after the first date and started fooling around but I just couldn't maintain a proper erection (thought i thought it was probably cause I was nervous) and I was quite embarrassed I couldn't satisfy her. The same thing happened twice more with the same girl and even though I managed to satisfy her in other ways I still couldn't maintain a proper erection so obviously didn't ejaculate. We decided to stop seeing each other for unrelated reasons and I ended up sleeping with my ex again and I could maintain an erection no problem so I figured it obviously wasn't physical.

This continued for a bit and even though I could maintain an erection I noticed it wasn't as rock hard as it used to be, and I also had trouble going more than once in a night...  I also noticed that even though I would still wake up with morning erections they were not very strong... I started 'seeing' another girl (absolutely gorgeous aswell though again not my normal type) and we slept together a few times, but it took a lot of stimulation to get any sort of erection and the erection didn't last very long. During foreplay i did have some sort of erection but then in a few cases as soon as I went to put it in it just went flacid (especially with a condom)...

When I was still together with me ex, I used to masturbate almost daily even though we were sleeping together 3-5 times a week and never had any problem getting an erection... Now I don't feel the need to masturbate much (maybe once a week) and even looking at pornography which used to pretty much instantly get me hard, doesn't do much for me anymore. I used to just look at a sexy girl and get an erection, now when she is naked with me in bed ready for me I can't even get one. When I do masturbate I have a pretty half assed erection which makes me suspect its not emotional but actually physical.

I have had blood tests and i'm not diabetic, my testosterone levels are all normal and I have always taken zinc supplements. I am very healthy (semi vegetarian), not overweight, exercise 5 times a week, don't smoke, social drinker, don't take drugs or any medication, have a great life with minimal stress, good family, great job, heaps of good friends...

The only changes I have made are that I do minimal cardio compared to what I used to do because I am focusing on weightlifting. Since I broke up with my ex I have also reduced my meat intake (my family is vegetarian) so only eat meat 1-2 times a week. I do also recall having sex with my ex once shortly before i noticed the 'problems' where my penis slipped out and got jammed (quite painfully) between mine and her pelvis... Could this be a contributing factor?

Thanks in advance for any replies:)
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3 Comments
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Avatar_f_tn
You've been to the Dr and everything is checking out just fine. So it sounds like it's something else like a mental thing. Are you completely over your ex girlfriend? Maybe that's the problem, you still love her.
When you went to see your Dr did you tell him about the episode between you and your girlfriend? That needs to be checked out just in case it is a physical problem.  Remar
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Avatar_m_tn
Thanks for your reply. I actually didn't go to the doctor for this particular problem, was just a blood test as a general check-up and I asked him to do a testosterone test as well...

I'm over my ex, don't love her anymore, though after these few bad experiences I kind of crave our great sex life that we had!

I don't think the accident between me and my ex could have caused it as I never experienced any pain, swelling, bruising or bleeding...

I'm hoping its just emotional but I am struggling to get out of this rudd... What can I do?
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Avatar_f_tn
You were with someone for 4 years, that's a long time when your so young. I'm sure you felt very comfortable with her as far as your sex life.
Do you worry about erection problems when your with someone else, even before your in the bedroom?
Since there seems to be no physical cause for this maybe talking to a counselor might help?   Remar
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