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ADDICTED TO EVERYTHING

ADDICTED TO EVERYTHING

I am a 32 year old male who was exposed to Hardcore Pornography when i was just 9 years old. It had an effect on me that i cant explaine but ever since i have been addicted to porn, so therefore im addicted to wanking as well. I can sit infront of my computer all day looking at internet porn and wanking. Another addiction of mine is Marijuhana. I discovered that when i get high on pot my porn / wank addiction is accentuated by at least 10 times. Therefore when im porn surfing and wanking im also off my face. I often take whole days off of work so i can stay home, get stoned and wank over internet porn. Just recently i took a whole week off so i could do just that. I feel so hopeless, like i cant go a single day without looking at filth online, jacking off and getting stoned. I can ejaculate so many times in one day that in the end im just going through the motions of ejaculating, but theres no ***! I regret my way of life after every orgasm. I am just totally racked with shame and disgust at myself i tell myself i must stop doing this, but i dont.
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So what's your question?
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Sounds like you need to look into SA and NA. Adiction (addiction) is adiction (addiction) no matter what type it is, and most people need help with adiction (addiction) because they can't help themselves. So I would suggest you look in your phone book or go online and find meetings in your area.
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I was never a Pot head, but I used alcohol escessively for the same purpose. I would spend 2 or 3 hours looking at porn and downloading and saving every picture and video I could find. I would even surf porn with the monitor turned away from the family. It was part of something else. I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 disorder and put on Divalproex. My cravings are 30% of what they were. I still surf occasionally, cause thats what dude's do, but... It doesnt control me. In the really bad times I could stare at the monitor and get tunnel vision, it almost felt like I was in a tunnel with the air rushing past my ears, oblivious. I am seeing a Psych and getting my meds straightened out. I'm not perfect buit I am feeling human again. Soon, at my PSych's request I intend to see a sex addiction specialist and talk some of it out. I spilled it all to the PSychiatrist and felt better. after 2 weeks on the meds I started to fell great. Get some help, please. It took me years to realize I couldn't do it alone.
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