I KNOW this has been addressed numerous times on this site. I have read books about it. I have researched it on the internet. I still cannot fathom why any male would PREFER porn over the real thing. I am hurt. I am angry. I am totally baffled by this. Last night, yet again, my boyfriend declined my suggestion. And then, later this morning, I realized that after I went to bed, he stayed up and watched porn/masturbated. His excuse to me was that he "wasn't up to it." ??? We had just had a lovely weekend, no stress, relaxing, etc. He said he had "hoped" it would happen, but at that moment he wasn't "there'. A bit of background, we've been together a fairly long time and we're both older. I seem to have the more intense sex drive, obviously. When we do have sex, it is good. He says he still finds me attractive. He is not on any medication. I am willing and EAGER to experiment with new things sexually. He has a history of looking at and collecting porn. He has also started watching web cam models. I really don't mind this...as I've watched too. BUT am always, always preferring the real thing. I feel porn has it's place in a relationship and even in one's own personal life, if that's your preference. But when it comes to having a real, intimate sexual relationship that wins hands down in my book.
I have tried to explain my feelings about this to him, but to no avail. He says he "separates" it in his own mind, meaning his porn viewing has nothing to do with our sex life. Well, I believe it does. If he's got the sexual energy, why isn't he sharing it with me?
I am both wanting other people's input on this and part of it, is that I needed to vent a bit, I believe. There is not really anyone else in my personal life I can discuss it with.
Any and all advice/points of view/comments are welcome.
Was your boyfriend in to porn before you met him? If so, it could be a habit and what he's used to. He can watch porn and masturbate and not have to worry about his performance with a real person.
Do you think he would consider counseling? I really don't think there's anything wrong with a couple if both of you are in to it. It does become a problem when one partner prefers something else other than the real thing though.
Copyright 1994-2016 MedHelp International. All rights reserved.
MedHelp is a division of Aptus Health.
This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information.
The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be and should not be interpreted as medical advice or a diagnosis of any health or fitness problem, condition or disease; or a recommendation for a specific test, doctor, care provider, procedure, treatment plan, product, or course of action. Med Help International, Inc. is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. We disclaim all responsibility for the professional qualifications and licensing of, and services provided by, any physician or other health providers posting on or otherwise referred to on this Site and/or any Third Party Site. Never disregard the medical advice of your physician or health professional, or delay in seeking such advice, because of something you read on this Site. We offer this Site AS IS and without any warranties. By using this Site you agree to the following Terms and Conditions. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your physician or 911 immediately.