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Discomfort in testicles

I feel a lot of discomfort in my testicles due to the lack of sex in my marriage. I feel very frustrated and feel like I'm going crazy! I have sex with my wife, maybe once every 3 - 4 months. She is very depressed at the moment. What shall I do? I don't want to resort to masturbation, because I feel I should only desire my wife and no other woman. I feel masturbation will only lead me further away from my wife and make me desire other women. Is there any problems I can develop if I don't have sex or ejaculate?
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Sorry about the late reply. I haven't logged on in awhile. I'm not too bad. My wife and I have been talking a lot more about how we feel about our relationship. My has begun to open up a lot more to me. That's the latest developments. Thanks for checking on me. We'll chat soon. Keith
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Keith

I am wondering how you are doing?

Jerbear
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I didn't believe in divorce either. I came from a Catholic family with No divorces. I thought that couples that were divorced had given up too easily. I am the oldest of 13 cousins.....and the first to divorce....as the years went by 4 others divorced their spouses. I debated for years--Finally  I came to the conclusion that If it isn't a good match, nor healthy relationship, not vehicle of joy/inspiration....why continue? I realized that I would come home take a deep breathe, brace myself and open my front door. A home is a place of love and contentment.......not a "here I go, what will I find or what will happen next?" A marriage should be enjoyed and with a strong sexual attraction and great sex.  Keith you say it all with ""I feel I would much rather be by myself for the rest of my life than to endure this kind of life!"" ( I told myself the same thing and left her.....swore off women,"why try that again?"  later I met my second wife)   Life is to be enjoyed not endured. A marriage is when two persons had mutual respect, caring and are a team--common goals. You said "Try and make this work." Less than two years in and you have to make it work--It should still be beating hearts, smiles, giggles, hot and heavy and after glow. A good marriage isn't work, a good marriage happens/unfolds.  Then you  said "I'm going to give it a go"  Not too long my friend.... Look inside yourself--do you really like/love yourself? I think you do.....respect yourself enough to listen to that inner voice when it says leave, then go. You're soon 30....a young man with a whole life ahead, you don't want to work at a hopeless situation until you're 50, emotionally drained and a bitter man that you don't even recognize. Remember never "settle" for someone. You deserve to be the heart throb to a damn good woman. (yes she is out there..I found mine)   Keep me posted Jerbear
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Thank you a lot for your comments and sharing with me a bit about your past relationship with your ex wife. It's funny, but in the past, I said to myself that I would never get married to someone with daddy issues, but what do I go and do! Can't say that it's hard for someone to change, but that individual has to have it in them to want to change. All woman have issues, but if they have had problems with a previous male,especially her father, it's a tough nut to crack! The individual should want to change first and foremost for themselves, and also for the one they love. On Sunday, my wife and I had a hart to hart about things. She really opened up to me and said that felt really bad about the way she has treated me since we've been married. She told me that she wished was dead so that I would get married to someone better. What she said to me was very deep. It made very sad. We again spoke about counselling and maybe going back to the same counselor she saw together. I want to try and make this work. But I do acknowledge that if she still doesn't want to seek help, there's nothing much I can do about it. I don't believe in divorce, but sometimes I feel I would much rather be by myself for the rest of my life than to endure this kind of life! I'm going to give it a go. Thank you once again Jerbear.
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Keith  I was watching for your reply.
Sounds like my first wife! Her father was very controlling. He made it plain he wanted boys not the 2 girls he got. She wouldn't go to counseling.....finally went and soon quit because she didn't like what she was hearing. I was married at 21 and by the second year there is No hugging, touching, 'glad to see you' smiles nothing..sex was her laying there till I was done...not good....the second year! I wore a condom becuase she said sex was messy. Year 5-6 She become violent....I dodged 2x4s, flying hammers. If she had a bad day it was my fault. I married her because she was different from the women in my family.......unique I thought. Big mistake  I tried for years.....near the end I said 'are you try to see how much I will take?" she admitted yes.(it would look better if I left her--as if it would be me making the mess). Before it was common knowledge...Turns out she was bi-polar, manic depressive,suicidal, bulimic and has social anxiety. 6 months before I left, I started counseling....then my counselor requested she join us. after 5 joint sessions he said she has created a marriage like her parents........no sex and fighting/cold war. and that I did love her but my love was all used up.  After our divorce I found out she had been molested by her father at 12-13.  Keith.......sounds alot like your wife. Please don't waste 17 years trying to help her like I did. When I told my parents that I was leaving her they said we have been expecting it. I said you were? why didn't you say something?  They said because it had to be my choice/realization. Please Keith seriously consider leaving now...before an unplanned pregnancy....if you get the chance to have sex. You are 30...you have your whole life ahead of you. Admit your mistake and get out now. Sure it will be hard and will hurt for awhile. But you are in a one sided marriage--worse than being alone. Trust me there is a good woman out there for you.  keep me posted .  
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I've known her since 2007. Started dating in 2008, got married in 2009. Been married for a 1 year and 7 months. At the beginning she appeared to be very interested in sex, and I will add very interested in me. But as soon as we got married things changed. We were having sex but it became less and less. From maybe 2 times a month, to once a month, to once every 3 months. I think you get the picture! The main reason for depression is her father. He was one of those fathers who are very controling. Everything she did was never good enough in his eyes. He tried to persuade her not to be with me because he saw me as a fret. And because she choose me, he didn't even come to our wedding. My wife sometimes blames herself for her dad's actions. It's something that she has had to deal with for the majority of her life. Blaming herself and hating herself because of her father actions and selfishness. I try to help her and she does open up to me, but a lot of the time she likes to pretend that's she's ok. She went to counselling once, but only told the lady what she wanted to tell her, so the lady just assumed she was ok and that she didn't need counselling. When I try to bring up the whole sex issue and intimacy as a couple, she makes out that it's not a big issue and trys to find random faults about myself. I've tried to talk to her about marriage counselling, but she is worried she'll get all the blame. She wants us to work it out, but it's very hard to reason with her. I'm 29 years old now and will be 30 this year. My patience is running a bit thin,but in spite of the difficult time we've had, I still love her!  
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Warning: I'm going to be politically incorrect.I was married at 21, good looking and no slouch in bed. Within the first month of marriage my wife stopped saying no.,,,,,Then she never wanted sex. I too got to the point hey maybe sex isn't important, I will lower my expectations...Don't do it!  Believe me sex is very important...food shelter sex and not necessarily in that order! Later I remarried at 40, wife was 35 and we had sex 2x a day for 5 years or more, now after 16 years of marriage and I am 56, we have great sex 2-3 times a week,....are you mismatched when it comes to sex? Keith are you a young man? How long have you been married? How is all the other aspects of your marriage, both have been faithful and still sweet on each other...or has a lot of things slide by the wayside? Was your wife passionate at one time in the beginning and now isn't, or has she never been into sex?  Sex is a natural normal part of life. Once every 3-4 months? And she just lays there till you are done? Should be more like 3-4 times a week or more.You should enjoy your marriage. The heavy feeling is the blood returning without having an orgasm. Not life threatening. "Blue balls" phase is more your awareness of being shot down again--your disappointment/rejection/let down. To lessen your expectations is to become who you are not. Do not change yourself.  Could your wife be deeply depressed? She should make a doctor's appointment and get checked out,,,,,,,,something is wrong. If she won't make a change, then you must weigh your options...........life is short You need to be a happy guy with all the sex you can handle..
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Thanks for the comment. I will get checked out, but I feel I may have what they call 'blue balls'. Is there any truth to this theory where you get aroused and your penis gets erect, and your testicles get engorged with blood. Then at that point you feel this heaviness if you haven't ejaculated. At this point in my marriage, I try to lose any expectations for sex because I get aroused, then get turned down by my wife. When I do this I feel less discomfort or heaviness.
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If you have discomfort in your testicles I doubt it's due to the lack of sex in your marriage. You should probably get checked out by a physician. As far as I know, having no ejaculations does not lead to further organic medical problems.
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