I have no feeling at all during sex...

[6speed]

I masturbate by lying down on my stomach and I pretty much always *** this way. However, I find that the few times I try it the old fashioned "jerk" way, it does nothing for me at all. I don't even feel a single bit of pleasure. When I have sex with my girlfriend, I don't feel anything at all, and though I can tell that she can, it hurts me to know that I'm just doing all the work, and that there will be no outcome because I have no pressure building in the first place. The same goes with oral sex from a girl too.

It's been this way for quite awhile, and I'm only 17, and I'm quite scared that something bad is going on. I'm afraid if I don't figure out how to make myself pleasured enough to *** during sex or oral, that I may not be able to have kids. The only way I know how to come is this way I lye on my stomach.

Please help, I'm quite scared, and my girlfriend has noticed that I have no visual response during sex, and that I just kinda do the deed and watch what happens. I can masturbate to it later, on my stomach, but it would have been 1000 thousand times better if I could have felt it in the first place.

Please help.

[monkeyflower]

First of all, I firmly believe that 99.9% of sex is mental. If you're feeling resentful, angry, frustrated, annoyed, whatever about not coming/enjoying sex, then you're *never* going to come, regardless of the stimulation. So where are your thoughts when having partner sex, or while masturbating in other ways? Are you fantasizing about the same things you would otherwise?

Mostly I think you've just gotten into the habit of masturbating in a way that doesn't mimic partner sex. I definitely think you can retrain yourself to come/get aroused in different ways, but it'll probably be a gradual process. I think I'd try alternating your usual masturbation method with one that better simulates partner sex (use your hand/toy, looser grip, lube), until you are finally able to get and stay aroused and come in other ways. But give yourself plenty of time to do this; don't rush or get upset or angry when it doesn't happen right away. And keep an open mind, and make sure your thoughts/fantasies are the same. After a few weeks or even months of doing this regularly, if you continue to have difficulty see a sex therapist.

[siren of the sea]

*bravo to monkeyflower* i agree. when men get set with the "only way" they can ejaculate then they have work to do. im sure your girlfriend turns you on. focus on that. or even others if that is what it takes to get you there. good luck i hope it works out but like mf said, be patient.