Living with pain after botched vasectomy "reversal"

I am a 50 year old man. I had a vasectomy in the UK (my home country) in my late 20s. The operation was straightforward and after the healing process I felt fine. I lived a normal life, except for the fact that I was infertile of course. I had decided that I no longer wished to father children, and I had no intention of changing my mind. At that time I was living with a woman who claimed that she did not want children, and so the situation suited me.

Unfortunately that relationship ended, and I later left the UK and came to live and work in China. I did not really understand Chinese culture before I came here. I was unaware for example that having children is of crucial importance if you form a relationship with a Chinese woman. I formed such a relationship, with a woman in her early 30s who had not had children, but who was determined to do so. She was distraught when I told her of my infertility, and so I consoled her by telling her how such operations could be "reversed". The doctor who had performed the operation had mentioned to me that this was possible.

So we got married, (far too soon after we had first met, she was in a terribly hurry to do so, and I was lonely and weak and went along with her desires. I only asked for a respite of one year before I tried to have the vasectomy reversed.) With a great sense of dread and foreboding I finally consented to go with her to a hospital in Shanghai to have the vasectomy reversed.

The doctor who was proposing to do the surgery actually told us beforehand that after such a long time since the vasectomy had been done, it was most unlikely it would have any effect on my fertility. I was quite unaware of this. I had believed that it was possible to make me fertile once again, but I was wrong.

He decided to do the operation anyway, and I had to go along with it or my wife would never have forgiven me. The operation was a nightmare and a terrible painful ordeal. I was conscious throughout, (mostly), as I was just given an injection in my back to deaden the pain of the surgery. It seemed to drag on for several hours, the doctor becoming ever more flustered, commenting on how it was turning out to be much more difficult than he had imagined. After several hours of intense discomfort and pain, he had only (he said) succeeded in reconnecting one of my testicles. I could not bear it any longer and told him I had changed my mind and begged him to stop.

The operation made no difference whatsoever to my ability to father a child. I was later told by another doctor that I had been completely infertile for many years, and he confirmed it just by checking my blood, (I confess I do not know how he determined that.) The operation had been a totally unnecessary torture, and I can only surmise that surgeons in China will perform any operation if there is a large payment of money involved.

My wife later consented to have a child via sperm donation, and has now done so. We are now divorced anyway, (having the child was really all she ever wanted from a relationship, the other things that people get married for were never that significant for her I have come to believe.)

The problem for me is that I have never been "normal" since the "surgery" to reverse my vasectomy. Almost every day I live with pain and discomfort in that part of my body where I was "operated" on. If I have to stand for a long time or walk almost any long distance, I experience a long slow aching that only goes away if I sit or lie down for more than one hour. In cold or hot weather I can experience shooting stabbing pain in my genital area. If I try to wear tight clothing or underwear I will pay for it later with long lingering pain. My genital area looks "lopsided", seems to be constantly visibly swollen and misshapen on the side where the doctor "reconnected" me.

I have sought medical advice from doctors in the local hospitals here but they cannot or will not help me beyond prescribing pain-killers. They tell me there is no serious problem, that I just have to learn to live with it. (To be honest I cannot communicate with them fluently, and the language barrier prevents me from getting real help.)  I honestly wonder if I will ever, or can ever be "normal" again. Before this surgery I lived a fairly active life, walking long distances, standing for many hours in the course of my work as a teacher. I cannot do this any more without pain and discomfort, my life has totally changed. I feel like my health and the last of my youth has been destroyed by this, I can no longer do things I once took for granted.

I urgently need help and/or advice from some expert who can really tell me what is wrong and if there is anything I can do about it.

At the very least I offer this as a cautionary tale to anyone considering going under the surgeon's knife in China. You should have a very good reason for doing so. Unless it is absolutely necessary, you should never consider it.