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Loss of erection during intercourse
My boyfriend and I use to share an active sex life however over the past six months he has trouble having an erection or maintaining them when he has one.  He is not on medication, his testosterone level is well within normal ranges, his doctor cannot find anything physically wrong with him and he is 26 years old. He has repeatedly said that it is not due to a lack of attraction but I recently found out that he looks at porn. Also, there have been problems with trust in our relationship since I found out he was lying to me about various issues.  There has been no infidelity as far as I know. Is this normal or should I give up and believe that it is me that causes this problem.
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I have.a.queation my boyfriend.cheated om me 2 years ago and just told me because.i found out from the.girl je cheated.with and she.sais he.watched porn both times.while they had sex which hea.never done with me being together for.4 years now what could this mean he also has problema staying hard then and now
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I recently have the same issue with my husband. I found out he was just talking to another female, and he swears nothing happened. Now when we have sex, he loses his erection half way through. I know I don't make it easy on him. I ask him if he s thinking of her, and he says No! He says he thinks about me being disappointed by him losing it, and it happens. What can I do to help him finish?  Help me!
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A related discussion, really bad was started.
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Hi, Im a man, and recently i have been getting hard but then just becomes soft, and it is really stressing me out, cos i do find my partner very attractive, and its only been a week since we last had sex and now all of a sudden nothing. Im 24 and tbh kinda worried, cos my partner thinks its cos i dont think shes attractive anymore, which couldn't be further from the truth, and i need to know what i can do to sort this thing. cos i really think this could ruine things with us , i have been very sexualy active with her and now this. please help.
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Hey. I'm 17 and I do watch a lot of porn and I'm easily aroused by it. I can stay erect during the entire video. But for some reason during intercourse with my girlfriend, I cant stay hard. Right as I'm about to penetrate my penis goes flaccid. I want to know if it is because of masturbation to porno. Because I am very physically and mentally attracted to my girlfriend. I'm scared I wont ecer be able to get hard and please her during intercourse. So if anyone can confirm that masterbation to porn has an E.D effect and if its temporary and if it can be fixed by not masturbating to porn anymore. Please let me know.
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A related discussion, hates being singal was started.
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A related discussion, hates being singal was started.
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my husband can not keep a erection and he says its all in his head through issues but i think its another woman because i have found txt messages of this woman but he says they are just good pals am i reading in to this to much please help
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my husband can not keep a erection and he says its all in his head through issues but i think its another woman because i have found txt messages of this woman but he says they are just good pals am i reading in to this to much please help
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I am 35 and my girlfriend is 30.   My divorce finalized last year after almost two years of a bad situation.  I seperated last year and did what single guys do after a long term relationship and my problem was hit or miss.  Sometimes I could go long periods with no issue and then others I could not get an erection after the first try but on the second it was all good.  I had one or two where it didn't happen for several tries and eventually had to resort to medicine.  Since I have started dating this girl and put my shennanigans aside it is more frequent than not.  Sometimes I can get an erection but once we start it goes away quickly.  When I do maintain I try to rush to finish and do but know it is going too fast and not great for her.  It is really starting to bother me because when we do have sex it is great but it is way less frequent than I would like or am used to.  I am worried it will become a problem in our relationship if I can not figure it out and fix it.  Days like today iit REALLY bothers me even though she seems to be understanding.
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I am having a similiar problem. I was in the middle of going down and he just lost it. It confused me and ZI thought maybe he came and I didnt notice because it was real sloppy so I stopped and kissed his legs and stomach and stuff and noticed he was upset that I stopped. So I started over he regained the erection and shortly after climaxed. I felt like he was mad at me or I turned him off or something. :(
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Please email me at ***@****, I have a question for you.

Thanks
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Yea well what happens if I  been talking and suportive and it stilldont work been with my guy 10 years never had a problem until a week ago it bothers me I like what you say but that is a new relationship what happens when u been together 10years
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thank you man it really helped...
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I'm a guy and recently, in the passed 2 days that my girlfriend and I have tried having sex, we have a good sex life but recently when we're about to do it, I lose my erection all of a sudden. I'll be hard at first because we do a lot of foreplay and I want to have sex but even last night as I was just about to put on the condom I could already feel that I was losing it. I don't know what the problem is... It's definitely not my girlfriend. I may be thinking about losing it in the act lately or forcing myself to much rather than just let it happen.
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Hi, me and my wife are having the same issues and when it first started I tried looking at porn to get arosed so I could have sex with her but then it got to were I couldn't maintain although I'm still having problems my wife is really supportive and tells me its not my fault which helps me from getting too depressed about it. Although with us its me having trust issues with her but I still love and still very much attracted to her so don't blame ur self, be supportive and maybe try talking with him about the porn issue ur having it might be he's doing it to help ur guys sex life, that is my reasoning and  my wife understands and even supports it. But when it happens even when my wife tries to make me feel better bout it, it will continue through the entire sason I've never had this problem until she left me for another guy. When she came back a week later still no problems and then a month after coming home is when it started I keyed viagra and it help me get my confidence back and no longer needed it until I started thinking she wasn't in love with me or that she had her eyes set on another but I only had a sample pack and threw away the sixth one I had and now that it is happening again I feel like its me but if not for her support it would happen every time but she tries so hard and is so supportive all the times that if I didn't still beat my self up so much about it it probably wouldn't keep happening but when it does I try to please her other way like going down or even non sexually best advise I can give is talk with him and try to get to them bottom of it if its mentally  and try to boost his self esteem and if that doesn't work at least u still have one another even if u can't have sex and that's what really matters if u have to have the sex to still care for him then its not true love. God blessed me with a wife that loves me no matter if we can or not and even though she has strayed a couple of times I'm still blessed to have her by my side and her love and support. But also it help when we text each other like we are cheating with each other sometimes all that is needed is something new but talk is the most important thing my wife is having me go back to the doctors because how down it makes me with how often its been happening. Hope all works out and sorry I couldn't be of any help please post any solutions you find if u can so I might be able to try it. Thank you .
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did you write down the site names?
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I need your help. My boyfriend goes through massive waves of this anxiety. 1 month he is fine and we have amazing sex, the next month he doubts himself and we can't connect and be intimate at all. I try my best to reassure him, but it doesn't seem to help his anxiety. It's also so hard for me to not cry about it after , I constantly feel he doesn't want me, which I know doesn't help his thinking. How can I help him from having these thoughts creep in all the time?
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Break up with her Pacey. That's never going to leave your head and she's an insensitive ***** for talking about intimate details of her ex with you. That stuff does nothing but hurt and she has to know it. Imagine if you told her she had small **** or that your ex was so much better in bed.

Its a sadistic person who does something like that and trust me, you're dodging a bullet if you dump her.
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I have experience that with my wife. I find that she bores me during intercourse and I can't move as much as I want to, so i loose concentration and my mind go else. I have tried intercourse with another female and it is rock solid. My suggestion is that you spice it up and let him take control you'll find that it will help. Try doing something for him
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ur idea is very correct.
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Hey I am a Guy, I got married at the age of 43 my wife is a pretty lady she was 23 when we got married. Now I am 49 with 3 pretty girls. Our sex life is great. I started to have  trouble having an erection or maintaining one this year, every thing is normal the doc said, however, my prostate enlarged a little bit and it's to blame for this problem. I say look if your husband has any prostate problem. Also try to find out the kind of porn he is interested in and surprise him by making his fantasy come to life. Good luck and I wish you a happy life
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Really enjoyed what you had to say. I am going through exactly the same problem as you describe. I know its all in my head. My girlfriend is amazing, sexy, loving and I adore her. I feel the anxiety well up inside of me and then its already too late. Recently when it has started to happen I have just come out of her and said, hey ho, it will be fine and then concentrate on pleasuring her with foreplay, then within a few minutes when I stop thinking about making love to her, its all ok. Another mental approach she actually uses is to tell me that we are just going to be together, definitely no sex tonight, well that's like a red rag to a bull and works every time and its always really good. It just takes the pressure off. I still have some way to go but making good progress. For anyone reading this, have faith in yourself. If your the female partner, almost certainly not you, the mind is VERY powerful. For you guys, ask yourself this question. Assuming you have snuck into a toilet in a pub or somewhere and had a quickie, do you get the problem? I found that you are generally thinking about the excitement of it all and the fear of being caught that you forget all about being nervous about maintaining an erection.
Good luck all
G
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Thankyou for sharing your experiences....
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Reading numerous comments on this and I'm relieved to see I'm not the only one with this problem. I knew it couldn't be my age, since I am only 23. It happens irregularly to me, at times I least expect it to happen. I usually had a few drinks when it would occur, so I always put it down to alcohol. I never had an actual girlfriend just numerous one night/drink fueled one night stands. However, I now have a girlfriend for the last 6 months and it has happened on 2 occasions that I can recall tonight being the latest, where I was completely alcohol free.

I cannot figure it out, I feel really unnerved by it all and I am way too embarrassed to ask any of my friends about it. All I can do is speculate about her possibly comparing me to her previous boyfriend of the last 5 years which could possibly be unnerving me in that area. I'm only speculating after seeing the relation of erectile dysfunction to stress. Any helpful comments would be great. I know she thinks it's her when it clearly is only my head that is ******* it up.

Completely dismayed here.
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Hi I'm a guy I'm 20 yrs old and iv been with my girl for 2 yrs we used to have a lot of sex... And she use to suprise me by blind folding me nd stuff like tht. Our sex life was pretty good. But lately it's been in the gutter. We barely have sex anymore nd when we do it like I can't finish or I just go soft. I don't kno wat it might be. I'm attracted to her and love her to death. Wat can it be???? I have been watching porn lately since I can't really do the job with her. Sometimes I do find myself fantasizing about another girl... I love my gf nd just want to be happy with her idk wat my problem is.
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Well now you posted your question about 7 years ago. However, I just found it. Chances are that you do not need the answer anymore because you probably are already divorced.

First off your guy has problems and needs your help.

The reason he looks at porn is because he is so worried about his manhood. He is afraid and does not understand why it does not work with the woman he loves. He thinks masturbating to other women will help him maintain an erection while he is with you.

He really believes that and that is why he is doing it again and again. But every time he is in bed with you he loses his erection. Because he is thinking of you would start nagging and griping if you knew that he just had  5 orgasms looking at hot sexy women on the internet.

A man's penis is like an arousal antenna of the woman. If the woman is not aroused then it is no wonder if the antenna does not want to stand.

Show him that his fantasies turn you on. Show him that you want to participate and give him the strongest orgasms he ever had. Watch the porn with him. Make sure you pay attention what the girls are saying. How they are talking. How they are moving. Remember the second your husband has an orgasm. What was it that the girl did and said during 10 seconds before and 1 minute after he pumped all his sperm out for her.

Be  interested and learn and you will find out what turns your husband on.

Now you tell him that you want to do that for him that you want to help him to release his tension for you like he did for the girl on the screen.

Tell him that you want to be his sex object his sex toy and he should use your body solely for his pleasure.

Get him to tell you his deepest fantasies and praise him for them and then help him have those fantasies while he is touching you or while he is inside you......

If you do that over a length of time and you enjoy this process and you show him that you have the strongest orgasms while he is having his..... then you will see how turned on he will get to you.

How he will feel safe with you... knowing you are not going to nag and gripe.... and that you trust him... and he will have the strongest erections and orgasms inside you.

It is all up to you if you want to help him heal or not. It is amazing what power women have over men.

In return you are restoring  his masculinity which is the most important thing for a man and he will adore you till the end of time.

IT'S ALL UP TO YOU!







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Im a man and this happened to me 6yrs ago. Like the others have said, this probably is due to stress or anxiety. Men.. We are also 'big babies' and if we dont feel srxually secure then we are useless!! Maybe he has been staring at to many cocks on the big screen and doesnt feel adequate or maybe something thing is memtally bothering him. But most importantly as a man.... Make sure the clown aint cheatin' on u first!!! Bcuz if he is then disregard everything that Ive told u bcuz thats the problem! But dont blame yourself!!! One mans'scheme is another mans 'Dream'! ;)
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Im a man and this happened to me 6yrs ago. Like the others have said, this probably is due to stress or anxiety. Men.. We are also 'big babies' and if we dont feel sexually secure then we are useless!! Maybe he has been staring at to many cocks on the big screen and doesnt feel adequate or maybe something thing is memtally bothering him. But most importantly as a man.... Make sure the clown aint cheatin' on u first!!! Bcuz if he is then disregard everything that Ive told u bcuz thats the problem! But dont blame yourself!!! One mans'scheme is another mans 'Dream'! ;)
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you are right on point because if you come too early woman complain but then again trying to control your ejaculation instead of coming ends up taking away the feeling and the **** dies,then you are on the wrong..
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Hi,
I m a guy. I also have this problem. I thinks its just that he is no longer attracted to you. I feel the same about my girlfriend, though I love her more than anything else in the world. We have been childhood friends and she understands me. So I share my fantasies, like, watching porn together. We also had sex in the park at night, had sex in the car in the parking lot. And this way we have kept it alive. Though I fantasize a lot, I have no intention of cheating on her.
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I'm 32 years old I have sexy before 10 years and cut sexy fore 10 years because I afraid HIV/AIDS and other sexual transmission disease. I watch porn sometimes and masturbation less than two times weekly. I have no girl friend till today but I find. When I get girl I can't make sexy because of erection problem. maybe if I make one time in one night which shame for me. "that is why one in one night is not sufficient ".I want to get girl friend to marry but how? if I satisfy girl by sexy how she marry me? it is impossible to get girl for me. So how  I overcome this problem and to get girl friend and satisfy by sexy? please advise me!!
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I read your   post and I too am having the same problem ,my husband seems genuine and he loves satisfying me orally but he cant get an erection to try and have intercourse he only gets erect when I perform oral I dont know what to do
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yes my dear, there are a lot of guy with this and many other issues, in fact, you should know reason why I am here too. be cause I do have a lot of problems, in my relationship with my wife... and I came to conclusion that, it is totally my fault, I always pretending, always trying to make her believe that I am a good man. and only me and myself known that I am a liar.  For more than 20 year I had been cheating her, with all kind pornography, and many other girlfriends, don't let this to happens to you too! been dishonest through almost my whole life had brought to me many other difficulties, but the wort one is, the luck of respect out of my wife and my children. take this seriously, and act immediately, before it is too late, find couples counseling, because, this is noting about sickness of physical illness, that is all mentally disorder, and that is a normal situation now day with all of the false happiness, that we found out in the internet, the world is contaminated with all of that, men is being manipulated by false pleasure encounter in attractive women but I guaranty you; in my own experience, no one had competently satisfy me then my own wife, as right now we still suffering the constituencies of infidelity, but thanks to God, and his mercy full kindness, my wife and I had come to resolution and but noting would come to be fix with out philology help, suggest this to you and your boyfriend, but if for some reason your boyfriend doesn't want to, take your self, I'll guaranty, wont hurt you.      

there is no real man unless we recognize we had fault in ways to satisfy a woman, specially in their hear feelings. men need to be more courage and diligently among their own women then trying to seek false pleasure in the wrong world.
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yea am a guy, i get this sometimes. he is not cheating on u, he is basically stressed out wif something he don't wanna tell ya.
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babygirl, pls don't give up on him, am a man and it happen to me sometime when am untop of my girlfriend, suddenly my erection stopped not because am cheating cos i know am not but because am stressed out wif something maybe at work or home that i don't wanna bother her about.
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6672454 tn?1383614649
Man, i don't know who you are but you just completely redesigned me way of thinking... im 20 too and i have the same problem... right down to the "putting a face on it for blame" to the "cold chills from bad experiences" your amazing man. idk if u will ever see this but if you could email me i would love to tell you thankyou and i am going to do everything you said!!!
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wow that happened to me 2x i felt numb and couldnt maintain an erection
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941101 tn?1351181407
I read it and I am so glad it helped! Stay positive and have fun! :D
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941101 tn?1351181407
Hey there only just saw this post as I don't get the updates from people who comment on here. PLease email me on "randompictureguy at hotmail *******" (no spaces) or leave an email on my profile here and I will try to help! All the best
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941101 tn?1351181407
you're welcome!
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941101 tn?1351181407
Hey there have you tried the advice I wrote out originally on this page? (The big chunk of text) because it relates directly to your situation and so I can promise you it will work, whether you are in a relationship or not.

Let me know.
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941101 tn?1351181407
Sounds like the same issue I posted a solution to on this page so have a look and give it a go. It should really help you.
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941101 tn?1351181407
Awesome G that sounds like you are hitting it right on the head. I wish you all the best!
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941101 tn?1351181407
The problem, in a word, is communication. You both need to know exactly what this lull in your sex life is the cause of. Sex problems are often the result of something else in the relationship as sex comes to represent how you feel about each other. Find the problem, open up to telling each other everything and ignore the lack of sex as it will solve itself. When it comes to solving your erection issue, just go through the same steps in the solution I outlined here but cater them to your unique situation and why you feel nervous during sex now. Take away the pressure and have fun again. hope this helps!
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941101 tn?1351181407
Hi there it seems the way you view sex is unhealthy. Yes, AIDS and HIV are possible, but wear a condom and protect yourself until you are in a good relationship and can go and get a medical check together to put your mind at ease. You won't get an erection if you are thinking about how dangerous and unhealthy sex is, because these are not arousing thoughts. You need to work on how you perceive sex and yes, play safe, but you also need to play.
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Yes, I am being totally honest here. I am having an affair and the last two times I was with my wife, I lost the erection even though I was close to coming. I normally take a while anyway and so this didn't help. I have tried harder with my wife recently due to the fact that lack of sex (of course) was one of the main reasons for the affair. I'm in a beautiful mess. I am going to have sex with my lover in a couple of days and I'm interested to see what happens but I have a feeling it will be fine because she it is so exciting to be with someone who is so sexual.
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I have the same question, before this happen we have a good sex, but lately, he is loosing his erection at the moment he will insert his penis to my vagina. I dont know what is wrong, i dont know if he's cheating on me, or if he is looking to porn, he always said that he is just tired, am i going to believe this or will i look for another reason? Please help
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Thats what my bf told me was happening to him. I hope that really is the case and im not unattractive to him anymore
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This was in 2006 so i assume this issue was resolved or they broke up. But either way. If he has a porn addiction he should stop looking at porn completely and stop masturbating. He may have whats called PIED Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction. Visit http://www.yourbrainonporn.com and http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com and read what happens to your brain when you watch porn.
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