Stop Masturbating.

I haven't masturbated ever since new years,so yeah one of my new years resolution is to not masturbated for a whole year(also not to look at porn,but I kinda screwed that up.Almost masturbated at that time,but stop myself).So yeah ever since new years,I notice I've been alot cranky in the mornings,then there were sometimes I was really horny but I was able to ignore the urges.The reason why I want to do this because part of me feels disgusted of myself after I masturbate.Now the other part of me really wants to masturbate but I refuse to give in,but I really want to.I can't make up my mind!I feel like I have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other,not saying masturbating is bad or anything,just can't help but feel that way.So should I just give in or continue on not masturbating?

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25%

 (2) 

Stay strong!Don't give in!

25%

 (2) 

Good luck!I hope you achieve that goal.

25%

 (2) 

Dude just give in,you're just stressing yourself out.

25%

 (2) 

I think you should start masturbating again.Why stop?

8 Members voted

[sammy73]

There's nothing wrong with masturbating, particularly if you are not involved in a sexual relationship at the time.  As soon as you realise that you can stop feeling disgusted at yourself and just enjoy it without guilt.  What's the point of denying yourself one of life's pleasures - particularly one that is free and harmless?

[youraveragejoe]

Hey buddy,

Just letting you know that you are not the only one doing this. I too have embarked on this test at the same time you have and to this date still have not masturbated. Partly because it was a new years resolution but also some other personal issues (a girl I really like). I share the same pain as you did, especially the guilt after a session. I would like to think that what you and I are trying to do will make us a better person. The best way I overcome these urges (and believe me I have been through agonizing periods of extreme frustration, though they have died down considerably) is to focus on an attached goal. Add a reason why you want to stop. If you have trouble, I'll give you a simple one. You will be able to prove to yourself (not to your friends or family, but yourself) that you have a strong mind and capable of fight temptation/addiction. Hopefully this will transfer to your relationships (especially your girlfriend/fiance/wife) and become fruitful. I hope to hear your progress thus far and your confirmation of reading my entry.

In conclusion,
33% (1) Stay strong!Don't give in!

[Dalubaba]

Sexual urge is a very powerful energy. If you suppress it, it will  create blocks in your psyche.The only way to conserve this energy is to convert it into positive mental energy which will enhance your quality of life.zen, Taoist yoga, yoga have techniques for the conversion. serious study and practice of this methods will transform one's life.
Otherwise it is quite normal to masturbate when there is a natural urge.Respond to natural urge by masturbating without guilt.It is a natural habit.It will not do any permanent harm.

[geecee56]

Be true to your commitment, but if by chance you do give in, don't get down on yourself. Masturbating is not the unpardonable sin. In fact well known psychologist, James Dobson stated that it is his opinion after much studding on the subject that there is really nothing wrong or unhealthy  with masturbation unless it causes emotional affects in one of these three areas, "oppressive guilt," which comes when we promise ourselves we are never going to do it again, and then we fail. We begin to think of ourselves as losers, and this carries over into other aspects of our lives, leading to low self-esteem. The second area is when it becomes an obsession. He says this usually happens when we are told that this activity is "forbidden fruit." Dobson says the best way to prevent this from occurring is for adults not to emphasize or condemn it. The third area to be concerned with is when it leads to an addiction to pornography.

I don't know how helpful this may be for you. But, for myself, I don't let guilt rule me any more. I am a single man, have been all my life, and have come to grips with my own sexuality. Masturbation is a part of my life, but it is far from being a major part of my life. It is just something I feel a need for and when I feel the need, I take care of it. One nice thing about it is that I don't do it as much as I did when I was younger, so when I do it, after two or three or a month, I get a lot more bang for my bucks.

[wishihadaname]

God i envy you guys, im 15 and im still trying to get anything more then a week and im not joking i've tried everything short of self mutilation (unless you count airsoft guns) anyway i just don't get it! i can't contol it at all! pain, mental restraints, cold showers, physical restraints. nothing works! this is the worst feeling in the world, not being able to control my own body, i feel like a complete looser, and it lasts for up to 3 days after a session, but then once that dies down the urges come back. it really is like being cought between a rock and a hard place. the agony of self hatered followed by mindbending urges, repeat. i could really use some tips on what to do!

[sammy73]

Stop torturing yourself.  It is totally normal for a 15-year-old to masturbate frequently.  It will not do you any harm.  It is not dirty or wrong.  Unless it is getting to something like 3 times a day, or is affecting other parts of your life, it is not something to worry yourself over like this.

[jagat02]

Good work. Keep it up. Masturbating is the dirtiest thing I discovered on planet Earth. The problem is it is an in-built addiction. The substance of abuse lies within our body. Get rid of it or atleast minimize it somehow. I am failing to do it inspite of repeated attempts to abort it.

[Danny425]

I used to jack off and watching porns a lot.Now it's harder for me to get an erection and i only gets full erection when im watching porn.I have stop masturbating for >than 4month but i still watch porn once in a while.However, i had 2 wetdreams last month(im 17 and and i only had 3 wetdreams in my lifetime).Does this means im gettingbetter??  
Also,some ppl jack off way more often than me,but they seems to be alright.Is it because im skinny?                  

[Danny425]

I used to jack off and watching porns a lot.Now it's harder for me to get an erection and i only gets full erection when im watching porn.I have stop masturbating for >than 4month but i still watch porn once in a while.However, i had 2 wetdreams last month(im 17 and and i only had 3 wetdreams in my lifetime).Does this means im gettingbetter??  
Also,some ppl jack off way more often than me,but they seems to be alright.Is it because im skinny?                  

[11191]

I will stop humping things. (because thats what i do to orgasm.) but i use to hump things only to get hard. but i pushed it today and orgasmed.....i felt so bad about myself. I WILL STOP HUMPING THINGS. I will stay strong i believe in myself. i can do it. i have willpower. I AM MAKING A COMMITMENT TO STOP!!! i will stop. everybody forgive me. i have done wrong.

[cguana]

This probably won't be much new information, but I hope that you have kept your word. I've dealt with masturbation since I was about 11 and I'm 22 now. I've gone through peaks and valleys with it, but it has always seemed to be a burden. Every time I do it, the clock of "how long since I have" has to start ALL OVER again. It's frustrating. I learned, however, that without the strongest determination, you cannot hold it out for long.

The debate that I have with myself when I want to do it is that it's a biological issue and it's either going to come out when I'm sleeping or if I do it myself. I choose myself. One of the things that I've been working on, however, is what I'm dreaming about. You can control your dreams. It's what you put into your mind. If you think about things that lead you to masturbation or see things on the tube or internet that might get you in a position that you and I don't want to be in, then it will be more difficult to get out of this situation.

I recently talked to somebody that went to like a sex addicts program. It's kind of funny because they sit there and discuss how long it's been since their last sexual experience and it's funny because there are some people that have to calculate how many hours, and then there are the ones who have been able to say "it's been 3 years since my last ejaculation." I'm thinking to myself...3 years! My gosh, if I could get to that point, kudos to me. I'm at 3 weeks, tomorrow and I'll tell you what, it has been a long 3 weeks. My short-term goal is 1 month or 4 weeks, but I'm going to try my hardest to not celebrate and move on to larger goals like 4 months.

Dude, you cannot be doing porn and stuff. I know it can be very easily accessed, but I can admit that I am on my computer almost all day doing papers for school and stuff along with facebook, and I have not looked at a sight of porn in over 6 years. If I had to overcome porn AND masturbation, I don't think I could do it.

Other things that led me to do it was just the pure fact that I'm lonely. I live alone and I go to college. I get the urge when I study, also. I can't not study, so I study in the library or at a friend's house. I also call a friend. I'm not going to say, "don't exercise," but I'm sick of people saying that you should exercise. As a guy, exercising gets your body flowing and your sex organs running too. Bad idea. One of the other guys said that he would take cold showers. Bad idea. Shrinkage leads to the shriveling of the sack which is also what happens when you've got to go #2. Your sack has to compact itself to ejaculate, too. So you're just making it worse by doing that. I realized a long time ago that if you feel the urge, you usually just need to go to the bathroom. On the days when that's not the issue, I'll literally just stretch my sack to prevent the compacting to decrease my chances of moving in the direction of masturbation.

For you Christians out there. It's not that it is a sin. There is the debate that started in the Catholic church that says "It's not the fact that you do it, it's what you think about." This is because of the view of, if it is in your thoughtlife, you might as well had already acted. The big picture here is that you need to be in tune with God. He's always speaking, you're just not hearing Him. If you want to get closer to him, you need to stop focusing on YOU or your FLESH and start focusing on him. You do this through praying, going out and doing something nice for somebody, and MOST OF ALL reading the Bible. The Bible creates an atmosphere in your spirit that is very calming and will help you overcome this. If you need direction and you've never started, try starting with Ephesians, Colossians or Romans. They're a little more appropriate for times like these. Romans 6-8 will hit the nail on the head. I know it feels stupid at first to start praying and studying, but once you get in the habit, you will see results and it'll actually suprise you as to how many things are going your way if you take it seriously. God always follows through. It hasn't lasted this long because it's fake. Follow the Bible and what God has for you, not organized religion that tells you what to believe. It's all in the Bible. You can't be focused on you and your flesh. You must have your eyes on the Lord and what he has for you in that moment.

I have also heard another thing. I haven't tried this personally, but I've heard that graham crackers of Kellogg's Corn Flakes (I guess that goes for Frosted Flakes, too) can help dodge the urge for masturbation.

I would also focus on your thought life and what you think about before going to bed. I'm not sure about this because I'm still working on it, but if you're thinking good thoughts and "child friendly" thoughts before you go to bed, you shouldn't have any problems when you're sleeping. It's a whole new game when you wake up though.

For those of you who do it in the shower and want to stop. I personally just can't do it standing up, so try this yourself...If you get the urge, switch the temperature from blazing hot to freezing cold just to shock yourself as a punnishment or something. It might be worth a try.

Again, you cannot do it without short-term goals that lead to long term goals, determination, separation from the physical and emotional areas that create the desire for you to masturbate, and good friends. The less you masturbate, the less you need to. Your body will adjust and absorb the need to, just give it (a lot) of time.

[jsad422]

Great post..sounds like you are Christian..if you need help staying on track ..visit this site settingcaptivesfree.com ...It is has a free..mentor guided bible based program to help you break free from masturbation and porn...it helped me.. !!!  hope it helps

[GreenLineFool]

Personally I woud say you don't have to stop, it's just a matter of how more so than the fact that it is done.

To give you some background I'm 18 and I've been watching porn probably ever since I was 12. I met this great girl in high school and we decided to be bf/gf but all along I was watching porn and masturbating to it almost always with orgasm. What I realized is that I could control porn; that is, I could decide what porn I wanted to view/watch but with my girl there just was no choice and she wasn't going to change (at least not undergo the kinds of changes that are achievable via porn). The mental image of her never matched my personal preferences that I had developed from the porn and therefore we were never able to have a really successful sexual relationship as I often became limp after a few minutes or in some cases penetration wasn't even possible because of my underlying ED that I had developed from using my hands from porn. Mainly because of this she decided to move on from me but I realized now that if I had masturbated differently that I could have saved our relationship and in fact I just talked with her about this not even an hour and a half ago as we maintain a strictly-friends relationship now.

I've seen a lot of stuff both here and on other sites that have said that the key to masturbating with the least possible harm on your sex life is to masturbate to a predominantly mental image of the person that you want to have sex with and use your hands less and less. I think that if I had used this method instead of using tangible porn and my hands the added stimulation of my ex would've contributed further to my stimulation and I believe that in this way we could have had a successful sexual relationship. If you're not in a relationship right now i would still get used to the mental part of this method of masturbating and then when you do get in a relationship the person that you're in a relationship with should be your one and only source of mental porn; that way you think of them and only them and only want to have sex with them. I know it can be a really hard thing to do but I really would try it. The key, of course, is to get more and more aroused using mental images of a person and then use the least amount of physical stimulation possible to reach orgasm. Although this might lead to some PE I personally think that PE is better than ED because with ED there were days when I couldn't have sex with my girl at all whereas with PE I would've been able to have sex with her but just very quick sex.

All said: it's OK to masturbate but just use the mental imaging technique rather than using porn and excessive physical stimulation so that when you find someone you really want to have sex with you can be ready to be prepared to have sex with them.

[catypooh]

Well if you have taken this decision i truly admire you... there is no need to really masturbate because we as men have a more natural remedy to this and that is wet dreams....if you don't masturbate then for sure you will get a wet dream because of the pressure building up in your testes...I have tried it myself and it worked

[gitana_3333]

WOW I didnt think that men actually felt nasty masturbating I thought it was just me and yeah am a girl....I to feel nasty and disgusted masturbating my husband only has sexy with me once a month I to decided to stop masturbating because of the guilt so I joined a gym to keep my mind busy from thinking about sex.  I got rid of my vib and all of the porn I had and I pray more it help's.  I read that masturbating female or male can cause depression and lots of mental stuff I also read that when a man and a women has sex it releases these hormones that replenish whatever we lost during the prosess and gives us that happy satisfied feeling...That is the reason we feel so blah after masturbating...

[john411975]

I think you should start, why stop ?

[redmercury]

Use it or lose it! I found that I needed time to myself. To find myself. Justifying yourself with sexuality isn't always a smart thing to do! That's me, though I could be wrong. Gay life and religion are currently arguing with my already dilapidated mind. Off a number of medications for some months now, and I find that It's better to stay convicted. I choose celibacy. Not much of a choice, considering I live in a house not under my rule.

I feel like I am 17 again. It's embarrassing - But! Regardless of the dispositions, never hide your anger in the case of masking your impotence, though (Gandhi remark). Sometimes you don't always have a good hand. Fold with dignity.

[dapogenez]

http://gotothissite.org/Porn.aspx

If you want help stoping

[VictoriousOne613]

Everyone, I am 19 years old and it has now been exactly 6 months (1/1/2010 - 7/1/2010) since i have masturbated. I feel so so accomplished and a heck of a lot better about myself. I was masturbating for 4 years a couple times a day, with only a wk-2wks at most being clean here and there. I always felt I had to stop since i am Orthodox Jewish and it is strictly forbidden to masturbate. At the same time, all my Jewish friends from high school and on have admitted to me that they masturbate, which makes it harder to stop.

I woke up at the end of 2009, I said there's a new year coming, a new decade, and I'm gonna know that from the turn of 2010 i never masturbated. I doubted myself, and went through bitter hell stopping. But now, it is already 6 months and I never caved.

I have never felt this more accomplished. If I wasn't religious I would probably not stop. But I see from this forum that the desire to stop is not only a religious thing. So for all, I used to do it a couple times a day for 4 years!!!!! And it has been 6 months totally clean now!!!!

It is hard at first, but what kind of accomplishment in life is not hard to accomplish at first? True, this is an ongoing battle, but you can be the victorious one unlike your friends!!

I am the victorious one and i feel great!!!

[ImAChick]

Wow. I've never seen so many men talk openly about this and so vulnerably. I also didn't know the male penis had so many complications. I'm a female and I started masturbating when I was 20 and just like pringles once you pop the fun don't stop lol. I feel addicted to it and I don't like the fact that It has some control over me. I've actually been late to work/school because of it. I used to be addicted to porn but that doesn't turn me on anymore. It's so fake and there's no passion. I wish I could stop but it's like I can't go longer than a couple of days.

[adola]

I've taken this resolution since 25 years ago and now I'm 37 years old and I'm still masturbating. It was really one of the key loosing battles in my life. I only managed to stop for 2 months since a long time ago but when one of my knowledgeable friends told me it is medically and religiously accepted I decided to resume it again.
I decided to stop it now and this time will be the final and serious resolution for the following reasons.
My sexual life with my wife really deteriorated because my mind is totally occupied with another virtual image and pleasure about sex which is not achievable in the reality. This is direct outcome from the masturbation and recall of the porno materials. In addition to that I'm so sensitive person in general and in sex particularly.
Secondly; I was masturbating since I was 12 years old after reading the Thousands nights and one night and it inspired me with the masturbation and I found it gives me a pleasure. This fantasy has awaken all my sexual world. Gradually I became addictive to this habit and I was trying to leave this sexual dream without orgasm and that has caused sort of back pressure and inflammations and this has caused a level of varicocele.
As you see complications of the addiction and the over doing of masturbation were so many.
I mentioned about the deterioration of my emotional and sexual life with my wife which I was substitute by the masturbation as my only alternative!!.
The last consequence I found recently which drove me totally to total stopping of it was the following. I had recently some of the out of marriage sexual relationship which  was so stressful on my mind and consciousness since they are against my background and the feeling of sin was deep but the desire was stronger. I was rapidly ejaculating in the beginning of this relationship and that happened in very handful number of times where I was prohibiting myself from going to the full intercourse in the majority of the times.
Recently I went through very occasional and situational intercourse and shockingly I couldn't ejaculate!!!!!. There were signs before for that where when the other "temporarily" partners were giving me oral or hand job I wouldn't ejaculate as well. the feeling was different from my hand.
Meaning it has definitely affected my sexual feelings either by accelerating the ejaculation or delaying it severely.
that's why I decided to stop it after 25 years!!!!!.

[achillean101]

Hi, I'm 17 and I actaually began masturbation 'very late' - it was around oct/nov 2009, so when I was stilö 16. Before then, I was actually only looking at innocent and very very soft porn (just pics and no videos and no extreme obscenities). It was hard for me b4 I masturbated as I hadn't really been with a girl - and going to a boys school for many years didn't help either. So due to this I had issues,with sexuality (and still do!). So due to this, I looked at both straight porn and gay too - whilst going to a boys school. Thus, whilst going to the school, I used to have intense sexual imaginations (no wanking) about loads of boys in different years and I mean so intense, that I precummed on many occassions without even touching myself. The imaginations weren't just sexual, but full blown and indepth films played in my head from my own imagination! How I would do it - any boy that was good looking, I would take a mental picture (crazily, this was how I seemingly developped a photographic memory!), and then replay him in my own brain movie. There were never any girls in my brain movies (except for when they were going out with the boy I liked!) - but this was mostly due to the fact that most, if not all, of my friends were boys.
But, anyway, one night in 2009, I woke up feeling wet (obviously had a wet dream). - Prior to this, I was having the most intense dream that I've never had before - I was engaging in full 'sexual activity' with a boy that I liked from school and I ejaculated in the dream whilst doing this. But midway through this, I woke up to find myself still ejaculating! It was the greatest feeling - and I'm not just saying that! Because it felt so good, my hand suddenly went to my penis and I started masturbating as if I had before but I had never masturbated ever. (In my years at school - people always used to talk about masturbating and I totally got the wrong impression - I thought that when you masturbated, liquid secretes from the skin of your penis, not shoots from the hole!! Silly, I know but I only knew about,masturbation from my friends - and all they ever used to do was say 'wanker' and do the hand motion!
But after that intense night, I began to do it just a bit - as I was still innocent and didn't know what I was doing! (Whilst this was going on, I was going to a crazy church which was bent on youth staying away from 'sexual immorality' and boy did they scream - literally, they're pentecostal!)

But due to going to this church, I began to do it more frequently because the church was really stressing me out and my parents were to in relation with the church. I just didn't agree with what they were preaching and their violent way of soing it too. So masturbation became a stress-releasing thing. After church. After arguing with parents etc. Then came porn. I recently, late last year, began to masturbate to porn. (by this time, straight porn grossed me out and didn't interest me - this was due to the fact that when I was younger, my older brother kept on bringing girls home and sleeping with them. So one time, I went into his room after he had left and finished with her and I found a plastic bag where he had deposited condoms, tissues etc - and the smell totally grossed me out - I was even in the middle of eating my favourite food at the time! But after smelling it, I just couldn't eat anything anymore and thus I wasn't much attracted to girls anymore because of that. ***** simply grossed me out due to that seemingly childhood trauma. Then came the boys school, which didn't help things much!)

So, recently, I masturbated to clean gay porn, but I began to do it too often. Mental issues came after ejaculating and muscle tiredness and headaches the morning after - same with anyone else?

The mental issues were similar to schizophrenia (but just voices from memory - related to arguments with parents and horrible screaming voice of crazy church minister!)

But luckily I have started to solve that with instrumental music and loads of reading etc to refine my brain.

The issue now is that I began to do it often and the most time I've stopped in less than two weeks! Masturbation really makes me tired and look like I'm hung over or tired. My muscles feel tired and my leg muscle aren't as muscly as before starting masturbation - I used to swim and run track regularly at school. Just swim and do pushups now.

Now, I've decided, because I want to improve and enter elite level sport and excel in my school work, that I've got stop for a very long period of time! Masturbation actually makes me exhausted and drastically lowers my attention span - for example the day  after doing it, I can't read a book properly, whereas I'm an excellent reader and in some cases read a page a minute and understand everything! - does anyone else have these side effects?

I really want to stop and restore my life energy. And it doesn't help that I haven't gone out with anyone or had real sexual experiences with someone else, despite not being a loner and having loads of friends, who are mostly boys.
I would rather be with a boy than a girl, but for obvious reasons it's harder to hook up witj a boy for some innocent experience.

Any advice on my whole situation?

Thanks, and sorry for being so long - it is therapy after all! ;)

[Aadi86]

I am 24 year msc student i also do masturbation three times in a week.

[Lonewolfof90]

I just read your post to Echo91 and I have to say that you are totally right! Impure thoughts=impure actions. I have gone on a vow of abstinence from masturbation and it has been a rough road. God does help deliver us from these temptations when we focus all of our attention on him and give up our flesh desire! It isn't easy and sometimes you might give in, but you have to continually find the will to break the habit! Echo91 I know you can do it and it will be hard! If you find yourself about to slip up hit your hand and remind yourself of the long term goals and benefits you will have in the long run.

[Lonewolfof90]

Are you seeking help to quit masturbation?

[alkadelik]

Sorry there are so many posts on here that I cant reply to anyone in particular. Just sharing my story and hopefully it'll help someone...
So I have not masturbated for almost 2 months now (since Oct 1) and I almost feel I am in control of myself now. However I feel I will loose that control if I ever do masturbate again.

I've been masturbating and watching porn since I was around 17/18 and I only realised it was a problem when I was around 23 and and could not last long in bed with a girl or didn't even get turned on by them anymore. Basically I'll become tired and unaroused after cumin once during intercourse and could not go more than 10 min during sex. This became very embarrassing so I stopped having sex with girls and just masturbated and watch porn anytime I had any sexual tensions. It got even worse when I'll just do it due to boredom. sometimes I'd even force it when I wasn't feeling aroused and with a very weak erection only to then feel bad at the end.
The bad feeling was not because I think masturbation is wrong/bad; it is not. I think it was because I didn't have any control over it and it dominated my life.

Until now I have had stints of between 1 week to about 6 weeks of not masturbating each time promising my self not to do it again. What I found motivated me the most to not masturbate is when I met a girl I really liked, and because I did not want to get embarrassed in front of her during sex i.e. not be aroused by her when naked and last longer due to pent up sexual energy.

I guess the moral of my story is that what motivates me to NOT masturbate is not abstaining for myself but abstaining because of someone I love. I don't want to look stupid to her and more importantly, I don't want her to feel insecure if I don't get aroused by her when we both know she is beautiful and sexy - me getting aroused as often as possible will help with her confidence.

What I think also helped was that I was involved in a project I was so passionate about and I could work on it almost anywhere - well with my laptop (the same instrument the porn videos will have been watched on lol). So all the while I did not think of masturbation, my brain was busy on something else entirely. Essentially, getting a hobby/project you're passionate about may help distract you from masturbating.... hope I've been able to help anyone out there. Wish you all the best and let's see how long I can go without masturbation.

PS. I came across this site that has a lot of help for most if not all prostrate issues. Not exactly how the issues there fit in with masturbation but I think it might be helpful to a lot, if not ALL men. Take a look here: http://www.prostate-massage-and-health.com

[blacksheep286]

First of all I want to say I wish you the BEST of luck in your battle of willpower against your penis. I don't think there is anything wrong with you jerking off, I don't think God gets too upset when you jerk off either as long as you lay off the porn...But if you feel disgusted with yourself and feel its what you should do then go for it ...but honestly ...I would be so uptight and wound up like a spring if I had to go a year without any kind of sexual release. I think holding off for like a month or something is great and reasonable, but a year is a bit much...at least for me but I'm a horny ******* so lol, anyway...Wish you the best of luck!