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Too much porn = total lost of libido?
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Too much porn = total lost of libido?

I'm 25 and I was single for a few months. And lately I've been watching a lot of porn. I was only masturbating with porn. At least 1 time each day, for a long time. Now I've meet this incredibly attractive women, and we are starting a relationship.

But I can't get it up anymore!!!!!! I just can't!! I've stoped the porn for almost 1 week and I can't even get it up (with her OR without her) I just have no more libido at all. I'm just not exited at all with I guest "regular real sex".

We did not (yet) tryed to have sex but we fooled around a lot and I didn't even get horny at all. Don't have to say that It didn't got hard too.

I had a girlfriend for 4 years and never had such problem (i wasn't looking at porn very much though)

Now I'm so afraid to tell her I can't get it up!! And how can I get my libido back??? I realy find her attractive and want to have sex with her sooooo bad.

Pleaaaaaaaaaaase I need helpppppp soo much!!!!

What can I do to get my libido, and in the same time my erections, back??
(I've stoped to watch that damn porn for good don't worry!!!)

God I'm so ambarassed, and don't want to loose her.

Thank you verry much!!
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27 Comments
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173939_tn?1333221450
It is a great sign that you rather dump all the porn than wanting her to turn into a porn star. And it is quite clear that you want her so much that anxiety is written all over you. Take your time to get to know her, try to experience other exciting adventures together that will connect you, just make sure you feel close for other reasons than sex. That way she may stick around long enough and you will feel more at ease to re-discover your old self. Porn can do that to you. I watched a few ones in my life and it does take away that certain innocence that one needs want to explore a new partner. Also, before I met my husband, I had been abstinent for over a year and I simply had to tell him "Hey, I really forgot how to do this." He felt flattered to help me remember. Maybe you can be straight forward like this, too. Caution, though, this is female advice...Your buddies may rather suggest Viagra to overcome the first hurdle....
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97676_tn?1340408973
Your lack of drive may be attributed to many factors, ie. mental, health, diet, ect.  You should speak to your doc about possible causes, have a CBC done to check for deficiencies in testosterone or other factors.  He may be able to provide you with a supplement for the time being.  If you dont want to do that and want to increase your sex drive, try taking some natural testosterone boosters like tribulus or horny goat weed, they might help.  A product called argin-max may work, although people have mixed results from the product.  I am a gym nut and have taken diesel test 2010 for increased test boost and it shot my sex drive through the roof.  You might want to give it a try.  Good luck.
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Avatar_n_tn
I'm going through the exact same thing man, it really does suck. I see you guys recommend not watching porn anymore, but I was wondering what is considered porn? Anything that you can masturbate to(pictures of women, anything not involving sex, but involving sexy women, etc...) or is it only when there is sex going on?
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173939_tn?1333221450
To define porn is a challenge. Never mind pretty pictures that leave some room for imagination. I would just be careful about watching real sex movies. They can be so silly and detached and even violent that you may not be able to wipe these images out of your mind in real life. Or we compare ourselves with actors and their appearance and question ourselves. After all, most of us have developed their way of getting intimate and their desires from experience with just ourselves plus partner and little feedback or instructions. If we are suddenly confronted with other people`s intimacy, we can not help but compare.
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Avatar_n_tn
You're going throught the same thing?

God I was always able to get it up all the time. Even sometimes just kissing my ex girfriend was turning me on. I went a few months without real sex and masturbating with porn and now I'm now that I'm dating that super hot women I'm not even able to have a f*cking erection!! God its so ambarassing... I would love to have sex with her but I just don't get turned on.

I thought at first it was maybe the stress or the pressure I was putting on myselft, but now it's been 2 weeks since I see this girl and that I've stoped the porn and masturbating. Still... nothing. I don't even get it up on my own! I don't even want to masturbate anymore. Its just like I've lost anything that had to do with sex drive. It's killing me! When I'm with bed with her its geting me crazy.

And don't know what to do anymore. I went to buy those Tribulus and I'm starting tonight, I'll see if its gonna be helpful. I have to call my doctor back. I called him last week, and he told me he was pretty sure it was just the anxiety and that it would go away by itself, but it does not. Its not even getting better.

I can't believe I went to that guy who's always turned on and always hard to being completely off.

I'm starting to freak out.
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Avatar_n_tn
You're going throught the same thing?

God I was always able to get it up all the time. Even sometimes just kissing my ex girfriend was turning me on. I went a few months without real sex and masturbating with porn and now I'm now that I'm dating that super hot women I'm not even able to have a f*cking erection!! God its so ambarassing... I would love to have sex with her but I just don't get turned on.

I thought at first it was maybe the stress or the pressure I was putting on myselft, but now it's been 2 weeks since I see this girl and that I've stoped the porn and masturbating. Still... nothing. I don't even get it up on my own! I don't even want to masturbate anymore. Its just like I've lost anything that had to do with sex drive. It's killing me! When I'm with bed with her its geting me crazy.

And don't know what to do anymore. I went to buy those Tribulus and I'm starting tonight, I'll see if its gonna be helpful. I have to call my doctor back. I called him last week, and he told me he was pretty sure it was just the anxiety and that it would go away by itself, but it does not. Its not even getting better.

I can't believe I went to that guy who's always turned on and always hard to being completely off.

I'm starting to freak out.
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173939_tn?1333221450
Maybe she is too attractive. Maybe it is something else but beauty that sparks your desires. Who knows. Super-attractive "candidates" never turned me on. I need personality and edge. Maybe it`s just that.
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Avatar_n_tn
Hey guy it is the same experience I have been thru is the past year. I totally cut off any porn and stop the masturbation. I read from many source telling you masturbation is healthy and do no harm to you..but I think it is bullsh*t. In my own opinion Masturbation DO affect your performance in real intimate relationships. I cannot not tell you how exactly it affect you but from my understanding is that it disrupted your neurology system and your hormone balance. The good news is if many ED case in younger guys like you are due to hormone imbalance result from excessive masturbation and usually they are reversible, unlike ED cases caused by vascular problem in the penis area in older guys which usually are irreversible.
  I thank god my gf is very understanding and supportive all the time. And I can see things are progressing towards the brighter side day by day. What I can tell you is stop all the worrying first... you are young and it happen to most of the guys too. talk to your partner get her  support. Try to take Zinc and Magnesium supplement as they may help you to restore testosterone level. Usually many younger guys can restore their function in 3 to 6 months. I will advise you try to calm yourself and keep positive thinking.    
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Avatar_n_tn
So you say that these neurological and hormone damage and imbalances can be reversed and put back to normal in about 3-6 months, what needs to be done in order for this to happen tho? Does the body heal itself?

Also do you agree with the statement a few posts up about what we should avoid in porn? About how we should also really worry about avoiding watching actual sexual actions and that pictures of arrousing images are ok and even videos of arrousing images are ok, aslong there is no actual sex going on?
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Avatar_n_tn
So what's your status these days?
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Avatar_n_tn
I found a method that can solve this problem.  

Don't look at any porn, or pictures of girls.  Nothing at all.

Then start masturbating using only your imagination.  You need to re-learn how to arouse yourself wihtout all that imagery and stimulation being provided.  When you start to find stuff in your own head that works, then start thinking about the girl you like.  Start masturbating to her and bingo, things get back on track.  Combine this with aerobic exercise and you get a super hard **** (In my experience).  Good cardio vascular fitness makes your **** harder when you get aroused.  And stay away from alcohol, drugs, coffee.  Go clean, excercise, re-learn your inner arousal techniques and bingo.  It all comes together...

It works.  Takes some time, at least 1 week.

Oh, and it's worth the effort because it's much better than porn once you get back into proper *******.  Warning  however, if you lapse back into porn, it can lower your labido again and **** up a good sexual relationship. Unless you combine the two, but that has it's own issues.
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Avatar_n_tn
ok my dude is 26 and i have no problem getting him hard or getting him off but its just his sex drive has went down sooo much after we moved in together. I want hot passionate sex like b4 but even if i beg he gives me stupid woman excuses like i've got a headache or my stomach hurts or get off me i'm tired! ... its really annoying and depressing so any tips you have on getting him back into the mood would be really appreciated. Please e-mail me at ***@**** if u have anything that might work... ty
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Avatar_n_tn
Hey I'm not sure if i have the same problem as WhatToDo-X this past summer i worked 6 nights a week until about 2 in the morning.  I had no time to go out ever so i slept all day and worked all night.  I completely isolated myself from everything.  I had dropped watching porn months before this, but since there was never anything to do by the time i would get home i would start masterbating (masturbating) atleast once or twice a day, and picked up watching porn again.  I needed more and more intense porn as time went by.  I realized something was wrong one night when i tried thinking about a girl and masterbating (masturbating) and it was hard to become aroused.  It's hard for me to get aroused by anything now and i can't put my finger on what it is.  I'm really confused about everything.  Should i go to a doctor to see if i messed myself up neurogically and messed up my testosterone production??
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Avatar_n_tn
guys i have the same problem but i want to try the method of newstartman. also i wonder if whattodo-x has solved his problem or he just became a gay? lol :)
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi, I've had/ still have the same problem. Tried the same method as newstartman for 3 weeks now, and I can already see big improvement.

During the first week of abstinence from porn it felt like my sex drive has totally gone. The second week at went back to a normal level (3-4* masturbation per week).

Now after the 3rd week I get erections just looking at hot girls at college or in the mall. Thats very nice!

It would be nice to her from your expericences!
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Avatar_n_tn
ok, this all is good info.. let me tell you all that im in the same boat. i have had several opportunities to get it on with several different beautiful women and totally couldnt get a friggin boner. holy **** does it suck. its so hard not to look at porn, i mean it is just so damn easy to get your rocks off on the go. i need a gf but when i get the chance to seal the deal, my johnson wont do his job.. he needs a raise. so imma try to take news advice and use the ol' spank bank for awhile and exercise. good luck with your boners men!!
p.s  i wonder if getting a hooker would invigorate the libido?? hmm
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi,

I tried a hooker while I was still on porn, and well...
it was wasted money. Even a hot young czech professional wasn't able to do the job.

Two weeks later I tried it again, with the same girl. The difference was that now she got, in her own words, "destroyed". Now I had a really hard boner, but I couldn't come. To bad she couldn't barely walk after that ;)
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Avatar_n_tn
cool. i think if i was loaded i might get a smokin hot hooker also. what did you do in those two weeks after the first failed attempt that got you back on track? and did she ridicule you for the limp ****?  
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Avatar_f_tn
"what did you do in those two weeks after the first failed attempt that got you back on track? and did she ridicule you for the limp ****?   "

I did literally nothing. No masturbation, no porn, no worrying. The girl was really very understanding. She petted me, and we talked cool about it. I was honest and told her I expected to maybe have a problem with my erection, and she told me that this issue is not as unusual as one might thing. She was the kind of girl you'd like to have as a girlfriend. Cause of that, I gave it a second try, and it was worth it.

If you wanna try it too, choose wisely with witch girl you wanna try, and the rest will really be more easy than you'd expect.

But don't let it become a habbit to pay for sex. Remember Yoda: this is the path to the dark side ;)
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Avatar_m_tn
I hope everybody's attempts have been working out.
Anybody's porn free strategy not work?
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Avatar_n_tn
Let me tell you a story.
I had a long relationship with a girl, never ever had erection problems.
Then we broke up, I've been watching lot of porn as I live by myself.
Lately I've tried to **** two new girl's and I couldnt!!!! Damnit, it was terribly humiliating to say the least.
I blamed it on the fact that I'm not totally over my ex-girlfriend, but lets be honest, if you have a naked sexy moaning woman rubbing her parts against you and you dont get erect, houston we have a problem.
Then I read this post and it just hit me like lightening! Of course! Its the goddamn porn!
To make things worse I've been watching "sicker" porn like gangbangs and fisting and I think that made it even worse! Regular sex just doesnt cut it anymore!
Oh my! I'm scared.
I'm trashing my porn, NOW.
As I click "Post comment" I'm deleting all my porn. 100GB worth or classified high quality porn, I will delete and toast for it.
Sorry for the long post, I just really hit me like lightening!
I wonder if it's reversible!
I wonder if there's anything that can help the process.
Should I start watching softcore or simply pictures of naked beauties, or maybe lingerie... My theory is that maybe that would create some healthier association in my brain and "override" the link I created between sick sex and getting it up.
Maybe I should quit completely but then how's my brain going to find his way back!
Ideas pleeeaze!
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Avatar_n_tn
u need to quit masturbating. ya need to workout more. do crunches and situps.
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Avatar_n_tn
I will, I'm done with all this. I'm getting my life back.

I'll be tracking my progress at http://porn2reality.blogspot.com/
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Avatar_n_tn
I've been clean for a week or more, I feel just fine.
I've noticed my morning erections to be harder and I feel better overall.
Only time will tell.
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Avatar_n_tn
hey today I !@#!@# a stripper. Protected and safe(r) sex of course.
I was able to perform decently even under the influence of alcohol.
I think I'm feeling better! freaking porn is the f@!#ing devil.
Besides leaving porn away, I'm also taking some supplements. Not viagra or anything like that, id consider that cheating. Basically L-Arginine plus some herbs.
Anyway, Friday i'm seeing one the 2nd girl I failed with.
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Avatar_n_tn
Success!
Well kind of, but better than expected.

I manager do have sex with a real girl I had previously disappointed.
I wasn't perfect, I lost my concentration a few times and had to stop and resume.
But nevertheless it was good and we both ended up sweating and we both enjoyed it.
Well at least it seemed like it, no way to tell for sure, only she knows how good it was for her.
But anyway, I got it up, and did it again within a few hours. I can call it a day.
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi,
I think it's really cool to see you gettin your sex life back! Congrats man!
Just wanted to let you know that for me, it lasted 2-3 weeks. After that, everything went back to normal

Now, 6 months later, I have a girlfriend, and I'm banging her at least every day, and I don't have any problems at all anymore. It's great. I even get an erection by just by seeing her naked, without any stimulation at all.

The only difference is: I can have sex as long as I want, and I can *** when I want.

Sebcr, stay on track.
Wish you well!
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Avatar_f_tn
My husband and I have been married 8 years. He is 30 and we r having a similar problem. We are very open with eachother about our fantasies/ desires and both share a fantasy of a threesome with another girl. Its hard to believe, but i was his first and therefore this may be due to an obsession over something new. The problem only occurs when we watch porn together but I've noticed its been happening more frequently. I know it has nothing to do with loss of attraction but I'm frusterated. Especially because the movies we watch make me even more arroused and when he's unable its like torture. I fear that if it really is the porn that if we continue watching them, he'll end up getting worse.In your opinion, If he acts out his fantasy, will his libido return?
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