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Too much porn/masturbation cause ED?
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Too much porn/masturbation cause ED?

Hi I m a 28 year old and suffer some degree of ED in recent. I start masturbated since I m 19 and usually use porn as a form of visual stimiulation. I have observed that I have lost the ability to maintain erect during intercource or I only get weak erection. My question is: does masturbation in association with porn will "exhaust" my interest towards sex and create a negative impact on my ability to get aroused in real sex? I m worried cause I think I m still young to have physical cause  for ED. Any thought?
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Avatar_n_tn
all i can say is that when i was in that "cycle" of non stop
porn, i got tired after a while and just stopped ! and yes
it has an e.d.-like effect.   but trust me, it "goes away"
just take a break.            h.
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Avatar_n_tn
Dear Max,
By using porn so readily you are allowing your fantasies to become real. In turn, you will never be able to find a woman who lives up to these expectations that falsly get you excited.
Porn is ok with another to stimulate your contact with her/him, however, you will go down a long lonly path if you let porn become your lover.
Hope this helps
OverA
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Avatar_n_tn
I have struggled with this same problem.  Excessive porn does mess with your ability to get turned on in real, intimate situations.  I went six months without looking at it, and noticed that my mind did "clear up" substantially.  It is not immediate, but it will get better.  Just cut back on the self-love as much as possible and try your hardest to stop looking at the porn.  If you have trouble stopping on your own, you may actually need some outside help such as from a counselor, an internet support group, or an understanding family member.  You are not alone in this.
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Avatar_n_tn
it doies...but it goes away...give yurseld 2 week break!
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Avatar_n_tn
Good thread. I actually think I am going through the same thing, although I have a hard time just getting aroused in general. I'll give it a try!
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Avatar_n_tn
oh man this is the same exact thing I am going through. So what do you guys recommend to combat this? How long of staying away from porn and masterbation (masturbation) will it take to get back to normal and to be able to get a hard erection without any stimulation to real life girls?
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Avatar_n_tn
i recently was with my girlfriend trying to have sex for the first time with her, and i was unable to get hard once i put on the condom, i think it might be the porn too but has anyone else ever had a problem with condoms turning you off?
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Avatar_n_tn
I'm going to have sex with my girlfriend for the the first time tomorrow..I'm a bit worried because I had been addicted to porn for sometime..I did give up after we met which was two weeks back..I'm worried about not getting a erection tomorrow and that she would be disappointed :(
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Avatar_m_tn
I am 64 years old, have been married three times and looked at porn on and off over the past 30 years.

I have always been in a loving relationship with all of my partners, never had a one night stand in my life, when my first wife and I broke up I met another woman that I lived with for seven months, it took me two weeks before I could achieve an orgasm, I had the same problem with every partner after that.

Now to the porn side of things, my Wife is 66 and has not been very interested in sex for about 5 years, I on the other hand still have a very active sex drive, I masturbate while watching porn up to 4 times a week, I have been doing that for the full five years.

Somtimes I have sex with my Wife but because of looking at porn and masturbating I cannot come to orgasm inside her, she helps me masturbate afterwards.

If I had my choice over again I would not have gotten involved with porn, I feel that it is to late for me now, I must admit looking at porn helps me to achieve orgasm easier and I do enjoy it so I dont expect to stop in the near future, from what I have read I guess I am lucky I can still reach orgasm at my age.

My advice to young people is try and stay away frrom the porn, it can mess your relationship up with a woman, save it till you get old like me and have a partner that you love but leave alone because she is past it.
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Avatar_n_tn
I have been married 5 times and lived with 3 others...I am living with a 45 year old Mexican Lady down here in Mexico...We play around a lot and have sex 3 to 5 times a week...I have known her for about 20 years and she still turns me on a lot ...Enjoy to see "catch" her in the nude...I am 67 yoa now...but when I was about 40  , my sex drive dropped for a few years...But I was working long hours ...Then when I was 58 I did 2 years in the Fed.  house  "prison" In those 23 months I had little to do with sex and thought that I had lost it for good...I came back to Mexico and hooked up with my lover...IT ALL CAME BACK FAST.... It,s what you see in your lover...
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Avatar_n_tn
Hi, I'm 33 years old and I have been masturbating for almost 20 years, most of the time in the company of porn. I often used to watch porn for hours. I'm experiencing the same issue: my erections became weaker and weaker during the last years. I got to the point that real life women don't turn me on that much in order to achieve a strong erection and be able to sustain a sexual intercourse. Anyway, I got involuntary pretty strong erections almost every night but they fade off shortly after I wake up.

I'm healthy otherwise, not overweight, non-smoker, so I think it is the porn addiction and masturbation habit that brought me into this situation. It looks like my habit done over and over again for so many years has seriously altered my sexual sensitivity to real life women and to normal intercourse.

I stopped watching porn for more that two months but I see little to no improvement regarding my ability to achieve erections in real life situations.

Since I don't watch porn and don't masturbate any more, will my sex drive and sexual response to real life women ever restore to a reasonable level?
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Avatar_m_tn
Although what is a "reasonable level" may depend on the individual, I think your sex drive will be restored since you stopped even masturbating. Just don't look back to the bad habits and let the nature do its work.
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Avatar_m_tn
This is all great motivation for me to stay away from porn. I absolutely love looking at it but I suspected that it's hurting my performance. Whenever I look at porn on the same day that I'm with a woman that night I have problems. I think part of our brains can't distinguish between fantasy and reality. Porn makes us feel too satisfied and there's no hunger left when the real thing is "spread" before us! Bummer that we can't have both but I would rather be good in real life!
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Avatar_m_tn
>Porn makes us feel too satisfied and there's no hunger left when the real thing
>is "spread" before us! Bummer that we can't have both but I would rather be good in
>real life!

Quite so! Try to fill your brain and your life with other activities. After some time you will notice much more "sex energy" has built-up. Keeping this pace is a very good practice to eliminate a serious psychological factor that can make you feel worthless.
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463649_tn?1206712709
This is not permanent ED. It is normal for every young man to masturbate. Take more vitamins even protein and chocolate. Relax for 2 days eating chocolate and drinking more liquids (no fizzy drinks and alcohol). You male strength will return very quickly. If not, just look at pharmacy store and take medications, but first consult your doctor.
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Avatar_n_tn
from the female point of view..... i have nothing against men and porn, its a natural process really, but having been on the recieving end, or may be i should say none recieving end... its hurtful and adds to lack of self confidence on my part, as my partner can easily achieve an erection, but as soon as we come close to penertration his erection is lost almost imeditatly, this is both frustrating and hurtful cos as soon as he withdraws from me his erection is maintained and he can *** through masterbation (masturbation) either by myself or himself. i know he uses porn, just not sure to what degree.. my only advice would be yes guys use porn but not on your own, where possible share it with your partner, then maybe you can share full intercourse with her too,,, have i got this all wrong?
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Avatar_n_tn
I sure am glad I came across this thread.  I seriously thought I was the only one.  I just posted earlier basically this same topic on a new thread and who knew I'd come across several guy's with the same problem.

I've masturbated nearly every day since gosh, I had to have been 12 or 13... Being 21 now, I never had too many girlfriends and only been sexually active with one girl and really only intimate with 3.  The issure is, I have and extremely high sex drive but over the year must have gotten into a "groove" so to speak with masturbating to porn.  I know I used to be able to reach ejaculation without it just by fantasizing, but 10 to 1 bet I couldn't today.

The other night my partner was giving me oral and i just couldn't get and erection.. kind of annoying seeing as the was by far the best oral I've ever received.  Luckily my girlfriend is a champ and isn't too conserned about me getting off, but she's more worried if there are any health issuse i need to be aware of... I don't really think I'm comfortable enough to say "I'm addicted to porn!"

Oh well, I suppose I'll take everyone's addvice and just cut back on the porn and masturbation.

Thanks gents
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Avatar_m_tn
I am 62 and have masturbated regularly for 50 yrs both  as a single bloke then when I was married, as my wife was never as highly sexed as me.
In the old days it was masturbating with a magazine like Penthouse or Men only etc (those were so tame compared to now).
Now with the internet I seem to be more addicted than ever to masturbation with porn as my wife has almost gone off sex (I am lucky to have a couple of sessions a year with her).
I still have a really high sex drive needing to come almost every day, but I seem to need more to get me aroused and orgasming. I achieve this by surfing the net using sites like Youporn and story sites like Literotica as this gets me harder and ready to come much quiucker than magazines do. If only this had been available in my younger days I think I would have worn my penis out, so I can sympathize with you young guys getting so addicted to porn.
My advice would be to try and abstain from porn and masturbation for a few days at a time - sex is better then - and try to get some action with real women.
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Avatar_n_tn
Tell me.........why do men have to look at so much porn ?  My boyfriend says it`s normal, all men look at porn.  But everyday, for an hour or two ?  He used to look at it every morning at 5am before I got up.  Of course it was bothering me so much, did he not know I knew what he was doing in the other room every morning ?  Instead of staying in bed with me, he was with the 'screen'.  While I was lying there crying.......feeling not enough, not pretty, not sexy, not desirable.  Why, why can`t you men understand how you make most women feel ?  Why do you justify yourselves ?  'all men do it' you say.  What gives you the right to even put your wives down ? insult their bodies ?  Yes, I`ve been insulted.  And you expect it not to hurt us ?  And you wonder why all of a sudden sex is different for us with you ?    You are so involved with your fantasies of these other women, that it is damaging your real-life relationships with the woman your with.  You probably don`t even know what your women can give you, because you don`t know them.  Porn addiction is a sickness, like any other addictions.  Congratulations to the men who finally recognize it, and have a better sex life with their partners.   I wonder if there are women out there addicted to porn ?  How do their partners feel ?    When your partner is feeling neglectect and tells you, when they tell you they don`t feel desirable, take it as a warning bell.  
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Avatar_n_tn
Porn and Anxiety have crippled my sex drive / erections for life.  I am 31 years old.  I began watching my fathers porn tapes and using magazines to masturbate before I could achieve ejaculation.  I have never told anyone that before.  My addiction took on all new levels with the beginning of the internet in the late 90's.  Even when I stop for a few weeks I still cannot maintain an erection or achieve a Full one.  I don't even have morning wood.  My Doc put me on the ED meds to combat the side effects of the anti-depressants I used to be on, but I did not tell him the extent of the problem.  It has been 6 months since I was on any anti-depressants and my sex drive is NULL.  Let this be a lesson...  Moderation is the Key.
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Avatar_n_tn
My only sexual outlet for the past few years has been masturbating using porn, and 2-3 months ago I noticed i have no desire or feelign in my penis, it gets hard but i have totally lost the ability to ejaculate for 2 months now. being able to *** a few times a week was also a good stress reliever, but now i've sunk into a deep depression over many issues, the latest being losing my manhood.

Once ina  while I take 1/2 a Cialis which helps maintain erection if i really work it, but have lost all sexual desire and most of sensation in my penis. i have come close to ejaculating once in 2 months, but as soon as it feels  like i might be coming, everything vanished, only a feeling of pressure remains

I have had a couple of one time partners who lost interest because i could not ***.

i hope this is reversible
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi, I am 18 years old and have slightly experienced this problem.  I have been looking at porn and masturbating for 2-3 years.  After reading this forum I am disgusted with myself for even thinking about porn now.  I will NEVER look at porn again! NEVER!  The story Hope255 gave almost made me cry.  I have done that to a girl about two months ago.  We were having sex and I couldn't go.  To finally feel what she probably felt makes me sick of myself.  That poor girl.  And she thought she had the problem.  If there are any young men out there like me who are looking at this thread, STOP LOOKING AT PORN!  It is nothing but a cheap way of satisfaction.  It will bring you momentary happiness for about 12 seconds.  Is that worth the the pain gave that girl who thought it was her that needed the changing?  Porn may be for some people but, starting today, IT'S NOT FOR ME!
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Avatar_f_tn
I must say that I am one of those women who is offended by porn. It makes me ill when my boyfriend looks at porn simply because I am willing to have sex almost every time he would want it. Unless I am too sore. The point is I think that if women enjoyed sex more, they would have it more. I think there is something to add to that. Because my boyfriend gives me a reason to want him all of the time. I am not suggesting that you men are bad in relationships, sex, looks or anything else. What I mean to say is that women need a certain connection with her man. That connection is understanding. They want you to truly listen and understand them, not just say you do. Most women I know can tell the difference in the way her man treats her whether he understands her or not. Men and women are different and I think that if men would seek to understand his mate and his mate encouraged his freedom and he understood when to use that freedom, and therefore she could trust him hence feeling a lot more safe to expose herself more often, I think both parties would be happier. I recognize that was a run on sentence, but philosophy is never short, nor are a woman's words. Anyway, just thought I would share with you guys my viewpoint and wonder if you have something to share from your point of view.
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Avatar_n_tn
Hey im 15 and actually just experienced the exact same problem, literally twenty minutes ago.
Me and my girlfriend have been going together for several months, and she never touches herself because she thinks that its demoralizing. I on the other hand dont think that at all and masterbate from a minimum of 4 to a maximum of 10 times in a week. I used to be able to *** over just my own imagination of receiving sex or oral sex. Then I was introduced to porn which I have needed to watch in order to just get it up at all in the past year or so.
My girlfriend, who like I said does not watch porn, reaches an orgasm over even just being fingered.
She feels like she does a bad job when I cant ***, as she gives me oral, and even worse when I cant *** just touching myself in front of her
I think it's a real problem, and probably my addiction to porn. I was so worried. Im glad i foudn this thread.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thank goodness for the porn. Because my wife and her depression medication make real sex almost extinct!
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Avatar_n_tn
I'm 25 and I'm having the same problem. I'm pretty sure porn is causing it because I still get raging erections in the morning, but they go away shortly after I wake up.

Since I got high speed internet, I started looking at a lot more porn and my sex drive and performance has slowly decreased. Now it's becoming a real problem. I just don't get as excited as I used to about sex and I seem to lose interest after a few minutes. I used to be able to last for hours.

I just hope that if I quit looking at porn and masturbasting, my sex drive will return. I hope I haven't permanently damaged myself like some of the other people on this thread.
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Avatar_n_tn
I had bouts of ED from watching too much porn.  It ruined my sex life for a while.  It took porn abstinence,  a very patient woman, and lots of time(2 months) for me to get over it.  After breaking up with her...I got back into the same porn habits and started to get ED again...

Then.. I noticed something that made it go away.  I noticed that if I held the tip of my wang with less pressure when jerking.  Ie.  I didn't put as much pressure on the top 1/4 of my wang--particularly at the moment of orgasm--then I could still maintain my erection with a woman.  I think the intense wang pressure when jerking was conditioning me for an inhumanly intense level of penile stimulation that no woman could actually provide.  Once I reduced the pressure..I found I could still perform with a woman.   I can now watch as much porn  and jerk (once a day) as much as I want and have sex with a woman like usual.  I would assume that if you are currently having ED with your girl it may take some time for you to recondition your wang to not require such intense stimulation--this may take some time.  However, over time, you should get to the point that you can use this lower jerk intensity technique and get away with doing both your girl and Jenna Jamison!!
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Avatar_n_tn
could too much masturbation cause u to become in fertile
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Avatar_n_tn
Same story here. Everyday since I was 15 til now, 18. My girlfriend and I actually broke up because of my lack of performance. She said we were "incompatible", but I knew that was Bull. I was feeling lonely and "consumed" some porn just 10 minutes ago and got to thinking about a connection... Found this forum and am now backing up my essential files and preparing to re-format my hard-drive to eradicate the tons of this **** I have accumulated thru the years.. Thanks, I really needed this.
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Avatar_f_tn
Wow my boyfriend should read this! I have been dating a guy for 2 years. I found out that he has a porn addiction and phone sex addiction. He can't get a erection when he is with me. But he gets very hard when he is watching porn. He says that porn will help him. 2 years and he is worse. I have caught him having phone sex with some one else. He says that he gets excited with porn and phone sex. He will wake up early for work and go to his house to watch porn , also watches porn when he should be working. He has " girl" friends that he says that are " just " friends, which I caught him haveing phone sex with 3 of the "friends"  on several different times.He has Meet them in motel rooms and he says they were just talking, she says they had sex all night! I have asked a friends husband if I look attractive , he said that I'm a pretty woman and I should not put up with this and that I can have a man that would love me and be sexulay turned on by me. I feel like I'm not woman enough for him. I don't not feel sexy. He wounders why I don't smile and why I don't feel loved. I wish he would touch me! I'm very sexualy attracted to him. I think about haveng sex with him and I even dream about sex.... Dosen't even cuddle me. He says he loves me very much. I want to feel loved.....
For the guys that watch porn and not touch your wife or girlfriend... it hurts us.
This goes for the women that are in to porn also.
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943815_tn?1246211813
F***! Thank you! I've been plagued with this forever! I haven't been able to get laid... the last two times that happened, I just couldn't get it up properly... I have a serious porn/masturbation addiction... something like 3-4 times a day! Life is a mess! My concentration and my confidence both of them are effing ruined! I actually start being scared and afraid when it comes to making a move on a woman and I know I'm good enough to go out and have a good time but the thoughts of what will happen if this moves forward start to plague me! The last two times was embarassing... I even faked/pretended to be afraid that I have testosterone deficiency and underwent a lot of stress with the doctors! I started thinking maybe this happens only with me! So I started trying to control my masturbation a few weeks back... The first time it was very tough not to sit back and watch some porn or some cyber sex and get off... I lasted only a day and the next I was at it... The next streak was 3 days though after which I failed the next 2. My last streak was 5 days which ended today when I just couldn't help myself... I was listless, unproductive and everything just started to get to me when I caved in... The sad part is that the kicks of doing it after long gaps, you can actually feel the rush :( I can't talk about this to anyone else! So today after I got done, I started browsing trying to find the correlation between ED and porn/masturbation and found a couple of articles and then this page! I really wanted to vent it all out so I registered and here I am talking it out! Sh** Sh**, life just feels like it is in shambles a lotta times!
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Its me again, I haven't watched porn or masturbated in the last seven days, since I last posted this message! Last night got pretty crazy when I started to get the urge, it was sheer torture! Didn't know how crazy this would get... but it gets pretty nasty when you start getting horny and you gotta do everything you can to control yourself, to not touch yourself :( F***!! But I tried really hard and stopped myself... No, I didn't post this so someone could give me a cookie or a golden star! Just thought I should share... let it out.
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Avatar_n_tn
I've had the same problem with porn harming my performance with real girls.  I'm 26 and it wasn't much of a problem until this year pretty much.  I've always masturbated at least once a day since I was 12 or so, often 3 or 4 times a day once I matured a bit.  As I gained more freedom growing up and greater access to porn..well.. that became a central focus during those activities.  Once I finished college, I met far fewer girls of course.. as school kinda puts everyone right there together, but not so much in the real working world.  Well, I've had trouble staying erect lately with my partner unless I skip all porn and masturbation for a few days ahead of time, which makes it hard to be spontaneous.  That seems to be the trick of it, just give it up for a bit and you should get it back.  I think I'll have to start severely cutting back.  Now, in all fairness, I've also changed my diet up recently, but I think I was seeing these problems start before that.  I cut most all sugars and a lot of fat from my diet to keep from gaining weight as I age, and I think that has actually hurt me some to, even though it is a healthier diet.  I think my body is reluctant to steal energy from fat cells or something when it coems to sex.  In any case, holding back on porn/masturbation seems to help.  
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Avatar_f_tn
This is amazing!  Thanks - will try and see if it works.  I find it ironic that Internet, the tool that has harmed us, may also be the tool that saves us again bc I found this info on this site.  I hate hate hate all those effing stupid sites that say there is nothin wrong with masturbation.  Clearly it is OK only in moderAtion!!!  Clearly that is effing bullsh$ t and those doctors should be fined or sent home for patient mis-information!!!!
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Avatar_n_tn
I'm 26, haven't had sex, because of low libido and being completely stressed out. Thought I had no interest in sex.  But if that's so, then why all the porn and jerking off?  It's weird because, I'm attracted to a lot of the girls I have the opportunity to have sex with, but when the moment comes, I'm terrified, and end up just not doing anything to avoid any embarrassment.  This is pissing me off.  I know I'm not going to be a guy who goes out and has one night stands all the time, thats apparently not me, but I want to have some kind of healthy sexual output.  Porn makes it so I am only aroused when there's this separation, like objectification of women.  Objects don't stress me out.  People and their expectations do.  Whats even worse is girls assume you're some oversexed guy, and you flirt with them, and its all a joke, cause I'd rather jerk off to porn than have sex with them.  That *****, cause I know girls can take that personally, like they're not attractive enough, but mostly its cause I'm too stressed out/terrified, and now I'm also thinking its the whole porn thing.  And I think it is.  I went on a 2 week trip to a foreign country where I had no privacy, and I was horny as hell.  This is messing with my life.  I don't want to spend my existence in front of a computer.  I don't think I'm compulsive about porn and jerking off any more, but I still haven't managed to meld my sexuality with my normal life.  When girls start talking about their sexuality or how much they enjoy sex, honestly it scares the sh*t out of me, and I'm like thrown completely off balance.  Cause porn is compartmentalization.  You take your sexuality and you put it off in this world of complete fantasy, where it doesn't connect with any of your normal reactions.  Thats so weird too, because I can watch crazy porn but if anything like that happened to me in real life, I'd be scared sh*tless probably.  
Anyways, glad I found this thread, excuse the rant.  I'm going to eat avocado, do some ginseng pills, and stop jerking to porn for 6 months.  I know it may take some time to undo a life time of damage, but f*ck it.  It's worth it.  I've got to try.
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Avatar_n_tn
I am glad I found this thread. I have gone through  the whole gamut of emotions trying to understand my husband and his addition to porn.

Since May, our relationship changed. The sex and his interest in me stopped. At first I thought life was getting in the way. We were both tired and busy with the kids etc. Then a few weeks turned into a month, and a month turned into two months, two into three, then finally after 4 months, it all came to a head.

I found on my husband's computer porn as well as web directory  for special massage places in Bangkok. (We live here).  I asked him about it and he said the it was "porn". Of course there was no porn on the web directory, just addresses and locations. I still to this day cannot believe he thinks I am so dumb. Later that same night, I found "Magic Relax Bangkok", a special massage parlor in Bangkok, in his recent google searches. I asked him again, he had no answer but what did come out of his mouth was a tirade of how I nag him and I've gained weight, and how I don't appreciate him, and on and on about how I am the problem, not him.

I went though a terrible time of sorting through the truth and lies.  We fought for about one month more.  I was so hurt, so lonely, and very confused. After more fights and discussions, and me sleeping in the guest room,  we finally  got back on track and had sex and it was great. I MEAN great. Then the very next day, I found him in the bathroom with his other women, his laptop and his bottle of lotion. It was so stupid of me to this we would make up for lost time and screw like rabbits every night.

Then it went on from there, 5am in the bathroom or every time I left the house, he would be in the bathroom. I could see his feet under the door and he was going at it like a mad man.  I really felt horrible about myself. That he preferred chronic self abuse over the me. I thought that maybe I need to be more freaky, more open to this things he likes, which I did, and I actually liked doing. But then the next day I realized I was competing with xhamster, rawtube, youporn, hardsextube for my husband's attention. I am just one woman. How can I possibly complete with porn stars and freaky amateurs.

That got me wondering about all the amateur videos posted on those sites. I wondered if perhaps these women were allowing their sex sessions to be taped in order to keep up with their partners' addition. Maybe these women were shut out because of porn and then got back into bed with their partners by participating. And then I thought some more about if solo porn watching turns into making videos, and that turns into live chat, and that turns into special massages, and that turns into swinging...like in High School how we were warned that pot would lead to harder drugs. It was then I realized the potential hazards of the endless supply of internet porn and how the porn gets dirtier and dirtier. Do you guys find yourself needing freakier and freakier porn to get you off? I betting my husband is.

My husband went on a business trip for a week, without his computer, and I thought that maybe he the break from the porn train would open his eyes. Sure enough, he came home at 2am, I was awake, but he headed straight to the bathroom and to his porn. The next two nights I turned on my freak button hoping to win back my husband. Sadly, I had my husband back for just those two nights and since then he has been in the bathroom while I cried myself to sleep.

Now, I am no longer sad and beside myself. I am mad as hell. He is actually grossing me out now. I don't want to have sex with him and I am actually thinking about having an affair.  We have two small kids and neither one of us wants a divorce. However, I don't know if I can stay and continue to be cast aside and play second fiddle to his hand.
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Avatar_m_tn
I  have the same problem i can jack off up to 4 times a day. and when it comes to the night time and my partner is getting horny im not and i feel as tho im thinking of someone dirtier in my past even some porn ive watched is boring so had a look at gay porn and that was ok but im very attracted to women and love my partner what can i do to break this additcition
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Avatar_m_tn
Thank you, thank you, thank you. This thread is probably one of the most important websites I've ever stumbled into. My case is the same as most of yours - 24, discovered porn around 13 and have been doing it on a daily basis ever since. I've been EDing when it comes to actual sex (and, more specifically, penetration - oral and "dry-humping" seem to be much better). It has happened to me numerous times over the span of more than a year (since I started having actual sex), with different, attractive girls - it is CLEARLY not the girls' fault, but rather, my own impossibly-perfect fantasies and the desensitization that stemmed out of them.

This MUST be recognized as a medical condition. It seems extremely popular - and for every person who comments on threads such as this one, there has to be thousands who remain silent. God knows it took me over a year to check out this problem online.

I consider this another repercussion of porn addiction. I CAN (and am going to) do without it - and I had no idea this is a possible consequence. There should be a disclaimer on porn websites... This stuff is definitely more harmful than pot, for instance.

(I'm rambling, because having only found this out now seriously pisses me off. BUT - better late...)

Let this be a new decade resolution - less (virtual) porn = more (real, incredible) sex!
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back again afterf not masterbating (masturbating) for just 1 morning before my partner gets up is killing me i see women walking arond and i just get erges but worry with whatsbeen happening that it wud flop and ill go into a shame drop but 1 day is nearly over give me 90 more and see how my bits start to repair themselves
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I have the same problem. I am 32 and have been watching porn since I was 15. My wife is 27. I have felt that my performance has gradually become worse. Unfortunately I have allowed everyone to know that I like porn and make fun about porn and girls all the time. After reading to this forum I will stop making any fun comment about porn. I knew deep inside that my ED was related to porn but because some days I still have good performances then pretended that it was not truth. Now I am 100% sure my ED is related to porn. I am in a good shape. I work out regularly, I don't have any of the physical problems related to ED and my father is still making  babies so it is not a genetics problem either.  

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thank you internet! i am 19 and i have been masturbating at least once a day every day for the last 2 years or so. i, like most of you, have found that the more i masturbate (especially with porn) the harder it is to get and maintain an erection with real life girls. the first time i tried having sex the condom pretty much shut things down down there and the sex didnt last long either due to *ehem* "low tire pressure". i was able to come up with some bs excuse but truly i blame my full blown masturbation addiction. now as far as messing around with girls, its been hit and miss with good solid erections, but i am finding it more and more difficult. i have tried to stop masturbating several times before but it never last more than a day or two, even when im getting the real thing. reading all the stories above has seriously motivated me to STOP JACKING OFF lol. i watched some porn earlier and decided to google "does too much masturbation cause ED?" and along with my experiences and your accounts i am convinced it does, at least short term. so i now declare that i am going to stop masturbating until i get a healthy libido(?) back. and even then, only in very rare instances will i turn to my beloved right hand. so thank you internet and friends for the help, ill post back when im healthy again to show that it worked (fingers crossed)
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I have a similar but not identical problem. My ex girlfriend used to tell me her sexual fantasies which normally entailed group sex. It didn't like it but it turned me on alot and got to the stage where it was the only thing that would turn me on. After we split up I continued to fantasize about her having sex with others. I still do it and nothing else turns me on.

Sounds like a similar problem to the porn one. I'm gonna try and lay off it and hope my normal desire for women comes back !
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reading through all these comments,

there seems to be a slight difference in porn we are talking about here: internet porn and mens magazines eg. playboy, penthouse.

when i was younger (in my teens) i used playboy to masturbate to

but now in 23 and would find it difficult to get off to, since then internet porn has taken a stronger role in self satisfaction for me.
my erections are weak during penetration, and foreplay i feel this ruined my first relationship as it gave my girlfriend very low self esteem and contributed to other deciding factors.

i think a poginent quote is internet porn makes the fantasy all to real and competes with sex in real life. ive decided im going to knock internet porn on the head and abstain from masturbation. if this does'nt work i will only allow access for me to magazines which i believe are a lot less potent than internet porn

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I'm struggling with porn too. I watch way too much and the line between fantasy and reality is blurred. I get so remorseful but then I do it again. Any suggestions on how to stop as ED is also an issue for me.
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After a decade of masterbation (masturbation) I've made a commitment, one of many that failed in the past, to quit on porn.  It really does ruin your mind.  You will make the computer your lover..... It makes sex with a partner dead, you don't feel much of anything.  I feel my mind wandering when I try and have sex.  I have no problem getting an erection with a computer and pornography, I can keep a diamond cutter for 4 hours with porn, but maybe 15 minutes with a woman.  Finding this forum really helps.
Ive never gone more than one week without porn and masterbation (masturbation) in all of a decade.  Bodybuilding and sports gave me a great body, but I don't have the courage to share myself with women anymore since I know I'll fail them in bed.  I've installed k9 software on my computer, which filters out pornography. Deleted nearly a terabite of porn.
The hardest part is trying to use a computer without instinctively going for porn.  Its hard to be alone at  a computer.  I feel broken.  
Its so hard to have women flirt with you but know your body can't perform.  People expect me to have relationships, they expect to see me with girls.  
If i can go even one month celebate from porn I'll be overjoyed.  If I cna give it up forever....ill never have been so happy. Good luck to everyone suffering from the same addiction.  Its a shameful one.
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24 similar issue has been plaguing me for about 15 months now.  Although there were brief periods when my 'morning glory' would return and I functioned normally.  After graduating from college I moved in with a few friends and for a while I had little or no privacy so I had to stop masturbation for a while & noticed a moderate improvement.  Also at the same time I would wake up in the morning and run a few miles.  More recently since I have moved there was a period where I could exercise in the morning.  Also I believe that alcohol will work against you as well since my last 'good' period ended after a night I decided to get wasted!
Suggestion is to separate yourselves from the porn as best u can!  I could take myself away from it but after losing some of the best sex I have had in my life this 'addiction' really is not worth it!  GIRLS are far more important that PORN!!!
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What I was thinking, people, is that the modern era just made some element of the great sex vanish for good, and that was the element of surprise.I started to masturbate when I was 12 or 13 and I had no clue what I was doing, it was just nature.I had had never seen a porn movie. I was happy when there was a girl with her boobs out in the newspaper, and when I was masturbating, I imagined the whole scene.I had a little privacy and I really valued it.I guess my **** was not so hard, but if I kept like that, I think that I would have had great sex life now.
Nowadays teenagers see porn before they can get an erection...before they can even get the feeling of what sex would be like, they`ve seen it all.And I think that there is still a chance for us to clear our minds, because I remember the time I was 14-15 and I didn`t knew anything about sex, but somehow I knew exactly what to do and what to imagine and how things would happen.Let`s stop with that porn, that`s now what we need....we need our health and imagination and I am now really determined to quit and return to nature.
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I understand the need to masturbate. Being a woman I do the same thing, however, I would never turn my man down.  My man would take it or leave it afterall, he has his porn.  Everytime I go to work he is on the computer watching porn.  I am guessing that as long as he gets his to heck with me.  Well, I have had enough.  If he would rather have his hand than me that is fine.  I'm tired of being upset and feeling not good enough.  We have a great relationship except for the sex.  So I'm left here trying to decide do I want to have a sexless relationship with someone that has all the things I want in a man or have sex.  I guess he is right.  I put too much on sex.  I will just get stock in a battery company.  PS he has that ED problem with me too.
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Hey guys here is my story. I am 26 years old, handsome (I swear), very well hung (8") extroverted and not shy at all.

I lost my virginity when I was 12 with my sister's friend!!! Anyway, I always been a very horny guy. When I was a kid i used to masturbate average 3x a day or more. Now it has decreased to at least 1x a day. When I was a kid i used to look at pics online, and now it has migrated recently to watching porn thanks to our technological advancements. Anyway, I noticed that the more porn I watched the freakier it had to get for me to be satisfied otherwise it would take longer for me to ejaculate. The other day I actually went to the Tranny section only to get disgusted when I actually saw a penis hahah.

Anyway this is what I do and now I will tell you how it has affected my "love" life. After I had that sex when I was 12 which I didn't even know what was going on, I had a dry homp with my dad's friend's daughter and I wouldn't attempt it again until I was 19 with my 17year old ex, and it was a constant failure. I must admit that she didnt really help because I would sit there for 30min with an erection trying to penetrate her but she was a virgin and very shy pushing me away and I was a nervous 19 year old that was scared to **** it all up. Anyway we never had real sex, I fingered many many girls, sometimes in public places, made out with them, suck tities, but it seemed that when it came down to it i would get scared and not achieve an erection or at least a full one with 4 different girls.

I always knew it was this fantasy world that I've been living in, which my brain got so used to. I love ejaculating. I love women. I love *****. I even questioned my sexuality at some points... I even questioned my health which is good... I even questioned my diet which is actually great. So now it comes down to the psychological aspect of pleasure. When I don't watch porn for a day , I can masturbate very easily even with my imagination.

What I will do is: Hold it!!! not watch porn! Slowly get more comfy with my new g/f (2 months and counting) and the sexual act instead of the virtual sexual act. I took a shower with her the other day, shaved her ***** cause she was too bushy and sucked it. it was a great feeling!!! I will march on to become the great lover that I was always meant to be. I will make a list of all chicks on my Facebook that I been dying to nail, and work on it slowly by slowly. (if im not with this girl anymore heheh). I will once again become a MAN! Thank you guys so much!!!
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Also I have to add that I think masturbation is NOT BAD! I think its great for you physically and psychologically too (not always but mostly) I think porn CAN be bad if you get so used to it, your brain only associates porn and masturbation as the only path to satisfaction and ejaculation.

First, what I will do is stop masturbating until i have sex. I will "force" my libido to drive me to have sex and let nature take its course. When my brain is finally used to sex, I will masturbate if my partner is not available. I will make sure that I have sex 2:1 ratio against masturbation at least. Lets go out there and pleasure our women!!!

I feel like i finally found the answer to this issue thanks to this thread...

Thank you guys again!
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This seems to be my problem as well. i have been dating a wonderful woman for 9months now, and have had a hard time keeping an erection. i have resorted to medicine to correct it. however, excessive masterbation (masturbation) has also left me hyper sensitive on some areas and nearly numb on others, i have never achieved an orgasim w/ my girlfriend and think that the porn/masterbation is to blame. but i'll take the advice of the other posters. let you know if it helped. im glad to know it isnt only me.
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Given up the porn for roughly a month now!  I have experienced a few different phases! I had the best results at a time when I was working out everyday (mostly cardio).  Morning erections were back to about 87%.  Since have weakened.  Possibly because of less workouts!  Also I suggest staying away from ALL alcohol.  I believe this had an adverse effect! Also had sex a few times about a week ago!  Don't kno if this helped or hurted the situation!  Erection quality during sex was maybe a little better than before.
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I always thought that masturbation plays a role on my partner's sex drive, but he always said it was part of men's nature and made no difference what so ever in sex drive. But now after reading this my opinion is coming back to its original, which was that masturbating to porn does change the way you look at sex with real people. It is unfortunate ; (
Is that what you guys tell your girls to safeguard you habit?
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I recently terminated a relationship with my boyfriend who I still love due to his apparent addiction to porn. You men need to appreciate the fact that excessive use of porn and masturbation WILL ruin you relationship with real women and affect your  real sex life. My boyfriend lost interest in sex and when we did have sex it was disatisfactory. Once in a while use of porn is ok with me but it becomes a plague to your relationship if you get stuck in your fantasy world over these airbrushed women who make these fake noises for the cameras.  Be warned that a lot of women would not stick around with a man who cannot sexually satisfy her....sex means a lot to women too. Ask yourself how does your use of porn make your woman feel. If it makes her feel inadequate, cheated, undesired and unwanted you know you have crossed the line and have a lot of damage control to do if you dont want her to leave you and find another man who could satisfy her.  I am sure you would not like your women making excessive love to a vibrator by herself and rejecting you and prefering to make love to  the vibrator over you.


fran
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Ive read some of the comments and mainly all of u are looking answers for two things ones about masturbation the other thing is erection. Well ill give u a simple and solid answer for the two. if u act on that then really it would work.

1) MATURBATION
                well about masturbation many have suggested continuation and some hav girlfriends. Well in either case both would screw u completely till the time u get married.

SOLUTIONS : 1) STOP watching porn ( at-least limit it)
                     2) Get involved in any activity, either start studying, get a job or the best is get involved in any sport.

2) ERECTIONS
     Really u dont have to worry about it cause your body  on a daily basis does refuel and heal itself u just have to stop emptying that tank and give it time to heal. Besides u can exercise, eat healthy food all these would definitely help.

Really, acting on these would definitely help u besides there are always people out there looking to make fortune  out of those in problems and difficulties u can also consult them.............ARIOS
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I have been with my g/f for 6 years. Our sex life was really up good up until about 1 year ago. We got back together after being apart for a year and the sex hasn't even come close to what it was before. For the longest time I couldn't figure out why. My desire to be with her sexually wasn't there all the time which caused performance anxiety. Performance anxiety is being unable to perform because you fear you will not be up too par. It *****!! I figured I would look at more porn then ever to get myself in the mood. When I'm by myself I'm fine. With her, it was the same problem. A little background on me - I'm 26 and started jerking it at 14. From 14 - 22, I looked at porn when I could but it wasn't as accessible back then. When I got a laptop computer, my world of porn changed for the good, at least that's what I thought. At the time, it was the greatest thing. I had access to porn 24/7. Two days ago, I finally started to think if porn was having a negative effect on my sex life. I stopped looking at it. Then I found this discussion board which is amazing. I'm not alone. I have deleted all porn from my computer and I will do my best to not look at it. I will post again in a couple of weeks with my progress. Cheers!!
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To all the people who have this problem who are just looking for answers here we go:
1. STOP WATCHING PORN- I know its hard but in the long run it will benefit you plus porn is the reason we're all having this problem
2. USE YOUR IMAGINATION TO MASTURBATE.... Porn takes away the  imagination of sex.....  its the mind that gets you stimulated when you substitute porn you take away this ability to imagine for yourself.... ORRR do what i did
3. DON'T MASTURBATE AT ALL..... I havent masturbated and/or watched porn for like twom months and i get strong erections all the time now waaaaaaayyy better than before... at least stop until your erections are healthy and strong again... think of it as getting your sex drive back up to regular.
4. MASTURBATE WITH LESS SENSITIVITY.... Use less grip when beating off.. the penis will get use to the harder grip and it will take more to get stimulated..... So just loosen up a bit lol
5. KEEGLE EXERCISES.... dont feel like explaining google is your friend....
6. BE CONSISTENT...... If you make these changes nature will take its course.... remember time heals all..... be patient..... be positive..... think about the end reward.... no more hanging your head in shame that you couldnt get it up and have sex with the girl that wanted you.... Everytime I have the temptation of watching porn, I think of the times where I couldnt perform in real life scenarios because of it ......  I HOPE THIS HELPS... GOOD LUCK TO ALL
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I am 37 and have been jerking off at least once a day, usually 2-3 up to 5-6 times a day since about 12.  I have had steady girlfriends since about 19, up until about a year ago.  Well, with the decreased sex drive that comes with age and the desensitization that comes with masturbation, I am experiencing ED as well. I totally blew it with a girl I really liked because I couldn't get it up for our first time, then with semiwood we did it and I was ready to come in like 2 minues. It was shameful and I don't blame her for not wanting to see me again. I have had a couple of semiwood experiences since then, and I am ashamed. No problem getting wood with myself and internet porn, but with a woman it is difficult, especially with the anxiety associated with not knowing if I will get hard or not. Quitting porn for good and not masturbating for a few months are the only real solutions for me. Someone here compared it to alcoholism: the only way to rehab is abstinence. I hope I have not done irreparable damage to my body and desensitized myself for good, only time will tell. Resisting porn is extremely difficult, but willpower is the only way back to a normal healthy sex life with a woman. QUIT PORN QUIT PORN QUIT PORN!!!!!!!! And drastically reduce masturbation!!!!!!!!!!
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Insufficient data such as your age, general condition, etc. Consult a physician.

This is an increasing problem for males as their lifespans grow because of increased hygiene and medical treatments brought about by modern first-world social and cultural advances.

Be aware of possible side-effects of some medications.

AVOID the herbal approach except under a physical's care.
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Hi pals. I also face the same problem feeling frightened to ask a girl out. I once had a girl. Now, i only have girls as intimate friends. My friends think i'm gay since many ladies have asked me out but i refused to accept their proposal. It started when i was 14 to 19 and now getting to 21. I have been praying over and my faith tells me God will send my system back to normal. There's no harm in trying and believing. God help us all. Want a friend? Then add me as Darko Kwasi on facebook
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I came across this forum because I was wondering about this guy I used to date and was thinking about getting back together with.  I wanted to see if maybe his problems were similar to other guys.  The two of us started out as friends, I think NOW that it was easier to be friends with girls and not have sex with them.  After I got together with him, I noticed that he would be hard before we had sex, then after we started he would lose the erection.  He never had trouble having an orgasm except for a few times.  It was just the erection.  He was on anti-depressants, so I thought maybe that was causing the problem.  BUT...He is definitely addicted to porn.  So much so that he has always been open with me about it.  Remember we started as friends and he knew I didn't care so when we were going out so I knew he was watching it constantly.  He even told me and some friends that he took down the network at his house because he was downloading so much at one time.  At the time I really didn't care.  But now that I realize that it was probably years of porn and masturbation that has ruined his sex life.  Don't get me wrong, somehow the sex was still great.  But, knowing that he wasn't fully erect did bother me.  Then, I thought it was medication.  Now I feel after reading this forum that it was his porn addiction.  Thank you everyone for telling me about this. I think however that since I was thinking about hooking up with him again, that I will not.  Because this man is so addicted I know he will never give it up.  For those of you with the ability to give it up, please do so.  Consider the fact that you will never know these porn actresses, you will never have a relationship with them.  And also consider the fact that what you are really having sex with is your hand and your own imaginations, not these women.  I don't know.  It just seems unimaginable to me as a woman why any man would rather have a fantasy with an image than have sex with a woman.  Because I do not enjoy masturbation myself as much as sex with a man I really don't understand it.  I love men.  Seems to me a man would want a woman, a real one.  I can see how the internet is a lot to blame for this mess.  But also, besides the porn and the perfect women on them, maybe the guy who mentioned masturbating with less pressure has something there.  But, I think looking at less porn is still necessary because there is obviously a mental addiction there too.  Anyway, seems to me that unless men try to control this there is going to be a lot of lonely men out there.  It was not all that nice being with someone so addicted to porn.
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Wow I wish i stumbled across this forum years ago! I hope sharing my experience will help.I am a recovering porn addict!! I have been slapping the salami almost everyday since age 14 and every single time I used porn to do it. First it was Playboy mags, then Hustler mags, then movies, then websites. With the internet I was always able to find new material as my tastes grew raunchier and raunchier. I think my addiction was the reason I did not lose my virginity until I was 27. The Girls of Porn were easy and took away any motivation to seek out a real relationship. Another reason is when I compare my average size rod to those monsters in porn it made feel inadequate and took away any confidence I would of had with real girls in the first place. When I was 27 I met a totally amazing women and when the time came for you know....I failed miserably. I could not stay hard enough for long enough to penetrate her. Luckily for me she took it real well (she thought it was the condoms at first) and I was able to do other things to please her (if you don't have in the hips you better have it in the lips). Despite my failures in the sack and even though I could still always get off with porn and only alone, we became real close. I was honest about my habits and we worked at it and overtime I gained confidence and learned how to be with her completely. If it were not for her love and understanding this would of been my first and only attempt at a relationship with a real women. It took about a year of trial and error. This is how we did it.
The first thing I tried was not watching porn and not masturbating. This helped and I was able to have intercourse with her even though I could not finish.This is when I noticed that a vagina is very different from my dry calloused hand. I never used to lube up I was always Mr. Dry Rub and The Angry Inch!! I still would fall off the wagon from time to time but one day when I did, I practiced with a condom with lube and I kept practicing. My solo sessions now became practice sessions. We started to watch a little porn together (it was nothing to gross though) and we would masturbate together soon I became comfortable enough to finish myself off in her presence. This is when she told me I squeezed my penis to hard and no vagina in the world could recreate that feeling. She suggested I practice with a lighter grip, with the condoms and always with lube. It took time but did manage to change my grip I went from squeezing my whole penis with my whole hand really hard to gently stroking the shaft with a three finger grip (not using my thumb and index finger). During my practice sessions I kept watching porn then one day I stumbled upon some cream pie porn!! You see up until then in all the porn I watched the male would always ejaculate in the females mouth, or on her face, or her breasts or her butt. Now my girlfriend was okay with most of those places when I would finish myself off but I began to watch only cream pie porn after all this was the end result I was striving for!! Obviously we were still using condoms for birth control just in case I happened to finish but you get the idea. Another thing I started doing was if I wanted to watch porn I would not allow myself to masturbate! I could masturbate anytime I wanted as long as I did  not watch porn! This was retraining my brain to use my own imagination. Soon after this I was able to finish inside her and man oh man!!! it was awesome!! she cried I cried WOW!! She eventually went on birth control and we were making actual cream pies every day!!!

Guys- nothing beats the real thing get out there find a partner, work on your techniques don't give up there are plenty of fish in the sea!!! Remember porn is just like any drug out there good or bad it can be abused!
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My problem for years...I wasn't the most attractive kid, and the pain involved in being rejected turned me on to porn.  It was easy, fast, the girls did ANYTHING, you can find any girl you want online, etc.  I also never used lube.  I am 26 now, have attempted sex twice in my life, once failed, second time took 4ever to get semihard, penetrated, and came in like 2 minutes.  The pain and anguish involved in these 2 experiences seem to idle in the back of my head everytime I meet a woman I may be interested in, and chances are, since I'm still jerking to real explicit stuff I'd probably fail anyway.  Its a miserable cycle and has f***** my life up miserably.  I feel like the one or two ppl I have confided this to don't understand and think its some type of excuse and I'm really gay.  I was working extra hours and tried to stop- I did for about a week but it didn't seem to do anything but make my limpness worse.  Then I got home and my mind was fiending for some porn even though my body wasn't.  I don't have internet, and am about to put my dvd players on the street!! If there's a God please show me the way!!!
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It has been 2 weeks now of no porn/ no spanky.  For the past several mornings I have awaken with morning wood.  After the first couple of days I would dream about jerking off to porn, but I'm pretty sure last night I dreamt of actual sex with a woman.

Last weekend I hooked up with a girl and she gave me a handjob, I'm pretty certain I got hard enough to have sex with her, but alcohol was involved and I didn't have a condom, so let's just call that a push.

I'll update again in a week or so...
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Absolutely eye-opener...many other web-sites & sex advicers say that its quite normal to mastrubate watching porn...let it continue dont worry... all Bull-Sh** !!!! i guess such situations definitely warrant a self-help and also such kind of sharing of experinces...
I am a bi-sexual man, happily married with a child and a freak for porn (both gay as well as straight). Emotionally happily married with my wife...but wen it comes to performances...there were only few good...many were dis-heartening for both of us...ejaculating while watching porn almost every-day (sometimes even twice in half an hr)...
Reading this thread has enlightened me...and I swear by myself to definitely boycott porn for a month at least...(i think its goin to be difficult) and then boycott both porn & maturbation...for ever...God give me the strength....
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I am a frankly lovely, slender 25 year old woman who has spent 3 years begging for sex from a 35 year old man who views porn on his computer and smartphone constantly. I offered to watch it with him during sex but he refuses to do even that any more. I just realized by reading this forum what he actually does when he takes long spells in the bathroom from "indigestion" before bed, and am so numb all over. I can't believe I wasted   my precious youth feeling rejected, ugly and inadequate. Thank goodness there are men on here who are realizing how ridiculous it is to desensitize themselves to real, loving humans ready to try and do anything for their pleasure. Wish me luck with dumping him.
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im very scared. ive been watchin porn since i was like 12/13, and loving it. my 1st sexual partner at 1 i couldnt get it up, i was tehrefore scraed of actual sex, so resorted to porn, got seriously addicted to it, all partners after i could never get it up.  im 24 now, and have only just managed to *** inside my partner, and it still doesnt feel like im completely solid. i blame sex ed in school for tellin every1 its ok, masturbation is good in moderation but in excess it is bad, its effected me on so many levels, im tryin to give up masturbating and to only be turned on by my girlfriend, but even when i see her naked in the most desirable positions i canno get turned on, because its real. im awaiting spyschosexual therapy but im scared i cannot un-do this. :(
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What works for me, with any kind of over-indulgance is to actually NOT stop cold turkey. If you are watching porn everyday, start by cutting back to 5 days for a couple of weeks, then 4,3,2,1 each for 2 weeks. It is a gentle way to ween away. I did this with coffee, sugar/carbs, wine, pot (all at various times in my life) when I do this the desire begins to naturally diminish. I find that If I quit cold turkey my mind/body become too affected by the sudden change, and can negatively affect me. This may not work for everyone, it requires steadfastness.
For those who state that porn/masturbation  has somehow 'permanantly' affected thier abilities...I doubt it. There has to be some other underlying cause. I would seek professional help.
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Sad to hear the stories going on around here, however I started watching pron around few months ago (without telling anyone in the family), I'm glad I found this site but I still have a problem to get girl, whatever I do no matter what I feel shy and back off. At the moment I'm doing what everyone is doing but I will stop since it just started with me, also once I masturbated (which takes 2min after watching a porn video) and tried to keep going but I just find myself loosing interest for hours and can't do it anymore and I tell myself ok thats enough let me stop. I'm a college student and going university soon so I really hope I can get what I'm looking for, I also have another problem which I found unusual with myself and thats been "hairy" makes me think there is no cure and I should give up trying to find a girlfriend. (At the end, I'm 22 years old and sadly never had a girl to spend my time with and the reason I mentioned before, is due to shyness and the thinking of getting rejected by a female infront of others or maybe even friends). I would like to have some answers, I was lucky enough to find this topic and hopefuly we all learn something from experince people around.
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so what your saying is that if i stop masterbating (masturbating) and looking at porn i will get an erection longer. My problem is staying hard for at least an hour. I feel that i get so used to the feeling and try to last so long that my junk just gives up. I used to never have this problem.
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Best way to combat lowered-erections are:  Exercise daily, or multiple times in one day(exhaustion).

  It is proven that it increases hormone levels -- albeit orgasms.  

You'll have sex a lot better, feel better, and be more agile obviously.  So you will feel more aggressive in sex.  

Porn has nothing much to do with this; unless -- you DO still watch porn, exercise A LOT to combat ED, and you will still have better sex regardless of the porn! lol!
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26th Mar to 15th Apr, it has been 20 days...i watched porn and ejaculated only 3 times during these 20 days. they were times when i just could not resists and also there was one more thing common in all these three cases. I was all alone browsing the internet for sometime. So now i shall try and not be alone connected to the net. My advise to the readers is also that try and dont be left alone with internet connection etc.

I guess I am improving...if at all there is someone in this thread who shares my behavioural pattern (refer my 26th Mar comment)...pls communicate with me...
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I'm 29 year old who watched alot of porn/jerkin off and suffered from ED. I stoped watch porn and jerking off for over 4 weeks now. After 2 weeks i was able to stay hard during sex but now I seem to be back tracking. It take a while for me to get hard again and when I do i cant change position or I'll get soft again. My question is do I need to stop havin sex too?
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yea, well i tried no porn to increase my libido with my girl, it sorta helped, and instead of thinking about how i should be acting as if i was in some kind of porn scenario i just tried to really enjoy bein naked with my lass and it love her, which helps but it still feels like im missing something, i was maintainin an erection for longer but couldnt come, i went about 2 weeks without ejaculating, but then i had a few beers on my own a few week later and watched some porn, and i had the strongest erection ever, it was that hard it felt like it was burning and i got my fix, thats what it was like, a junky off the smack returnin for one final selfish hit, i hate myself so much for it. its pathetic
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So I lasted about 2.5 weeks no porn/ no masturbation and then fell off the wagon so to speak.  My desire for porn subsided for the 2 weeks, but then came back stronger when I "cracked the seal". I just met a great woman and we have been taking it slow, I do have some anxiety about our first time together, so I got some Viagra to help initially. I am hoping that once we start having sex I will not feel the desire to jerk off, or at the very least I will not want to mess things up with her and will abstain. Wish me luck, this is a very difficult addiction to kick!
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Hi Friends,I am 20Yrs old guy,I am from Ghana and I am having the same problem.I have been masturbating and watching porn about 8 to 9 years now,I can Jerk anytime i stroke my self or watch,But i can never erections when im with a woman,One of my girl with came to me one day i was laying on the bed she came straight beside me trying to to turn me so that we can play the game but never happen in my pant.You no want i mean,So do girl was mad and went away,I no she will be thinking my manhood is dead,She never come close to me since the thing happened,So i think porn and masturbating can spoil we the younger ones,SO PLEASE SAY NO TO PORN AND MASTURBATING
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I will like to stay away from porn and masturbating any help you guys PLEASE?
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Really glad i've came across this thread. All the stories have really made me consider that porn shud not be overused
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I had EXACTLY the same problem myself and what most the other guys are saying is spot on BELIEVE ME !! I gave up any sort of porn viewing or masturbation for approx 4 weeks (i had regular sex in the meantime) and it resloved all my problems. I had tried EVERYTHING beforehand and really got me down - I thought there was no hope (never suspecting the excessive porn and masturbation as a problem). It's really really difficult at first guys i'll admit because it's sort of an addiction - i likened it to when I quit smoking because it really does get a lot easier in time. Now i only view porn with my partner and never hardly masturbate and it doesn't even bother me and the sex is GREAT and I haven't had one problem since (fingers crossed). Hope this helps guys but quit with the porn and self love and you'll be fine - just give it a shot for a few weeks - whats the harm even if it doesn't work (but it will).
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I knew my bf watched porn when we got together. No big deal, it was in the open, I didn't have a problem with it...until I found out how excessive it was and how it interferred with our sex life. He would wait until I went to bed, and fell asleep with porn instead of me.He would go into the bathroom and jerk off to porn instead of sexual activity with me. He would lie and say he was working...working on jerking off to porn. I would walk in 5min early from work, to find him...you get the picture. I guess he couldn't wait for me. Once I was very sick,instead of comforting me he said he was going to go into the living room and watch porn and not to disturb him.After I had enough I said I couldn't take it anymore. He told me I am jealous,stupid,acting crazy and all guys do this, there is something wrong with me.He said he did it because I didn't have enough sex with him, or I was tired, I was not doing enough for him, if I did, he'd stop. We ****** like rabbits, guess what, it didn't stop. I am a very hot girl, and was shocked that I couldn't make this guy come, without great effort. This was a first for me. He had me believing I was the one with the problem, he told me that he was just honest and everyguy would do this and just lie to me. If it wasn't porn they'd be ******* real women-affairs.He told me I could never be enough to satisfy a man. I believed him. I know now its not true. Unfortunately we had an unplanned pregnancy and his habits continued. Now two children later he just lies and tries to hide his addiction. He is in denial and projects his issues upon me...thats the real kicker! He accuses me of being a ***** and **** and ******* everyone.Wow, that porn has warped his mind. No, I'm not like the girls you jerk off to I tell him. Our relationship is ruined. I refuse to raise my son to disrespect women and use them as objects and ***dumpsters, and refuse to let my daughter know that this is what her dad likes...maybe she will want to be like the girls dad likes. Its sad.very sad.
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Like everyone else I am glad I found this forum. I feel compelled to just write and say I am glad that I am not the only one. I don't wish the problem on no one else, but it is tough. I actually was with a girl I like last night, and was trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Like the girls in this forum, I hope I didn't make her feel less attractive because she is VERY attractive.  I have been wondering all day what did I do wrong trying to avoid her because I don't want to mess things up. I know I have a sex drive but didn't know where it went as she was the one trying to initiate sex. I never thought to make the connection till now. So I must say thanks to the guys and especially the girls for their perspective. Wouldn't have been able to grasp how they felt without them.
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Firstly, let me just say that I was stuck in the exact same situation for almost three (3!) months.  When lay persons and doctors alike claim that pornography and endless masturbation are perfectly okay and/or normal I now fully believe that they're hoodwinked by many of the silly paradigms that infest our modern society.  Clearly, this Forum suggests that both can be and are harmful, both to our psyche and physical well-being.

Secondly, I suffered the exact same 'crisis' that many of you did.  Before, I never had to think twice about getting aroused with a lady (I'm in my 30s).  Now, finally, after months of modest self-control, exercise, and not getting my mind caught up in 'what ifs' I was able to perform with a dear lady I've been dating for a couple of weeks.  It was nerve-racking at first, but genuine desire and affection won the day, hands-down.  I had no problem and used protection.

If I have any advice to give, I'd say don't get caught up in the idea that your ED is permanent and your sex life is over.  Far from it.  Self-control, exercise, eating right and relaxing are all your friends.  Trust me.  This has actually been a BLESSING IN DISGUISE.  We're men.  We're supposed to be with real, lovely gals not hunched over a dang computer screen.  And if a gal ain't around, at least, befriend the idea of moderation.

I'd say most of us developed these unhealthy habits due to rather large doses of cynicism, despair, and lack of knowing who we are and why we're here.  If faith helps, go for it.  If philosophy or literature helps, go for that too.  Whatever gets you through at the end of the day, but it sure as heck ain't going to be found digging through an endless pit of pornography with our eye balls rolling around in the back of our heads.  Cheers.
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I have to say this forum makes me feel so much better and keep the demons off my head.

Im 25 and had 4 clear encounters with girls that ended on total failure. after the 3rd encounter I decided to visit the Doctor, and everything looked well. So he prescribed me some pills just to jump start my erection.

On my last encounter the pill worked only at the beginning and I realized my problem was in my head and not in my ****. So after reading this posts and a few more articles. I hope I identified my problem. I will quit surfing to porn sites and jerking off a few weeks and see how it goes with the girls. I've been masturbating to porn for over 11 year and it seems like my problem is connected to this.

I'm planing to get my mind of this past encounters, try to become a healthier person, take some ginko-bilova and see where this takes me.

I believe the most important thing for all of us with this situation is to understand this is not a sickness and it can be solved.
Good luck for all of us.
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I have a similar problem.  In my case I think it is from mostly masterbating (masturbating) to obtain sexual gratification, instead of having sex with a woman.  I sometimes watch porn and masterbate, but will also masterbate without watching porn, so it is a mix with me.  Watching porn will make me masterbate more frequently though.  Just last night I was with a woman in her bed, she was naked and ready for me and I could NOT get hard..  She tried stroking me, sucking my ****, kissing me all over etc. etc.  Nothing worked, after almost an hour we gave up..  I went home ashamed and didn't even have the urge to jerk off.  Then later I got angry at her!  Like it must have been her fault..  Then I stewed for a while and got on the computer and found this thread.

I know it has to be mental, and it has to be because I am so used to just stroking myself and not having intercourse I must have psychologically freaked out at the prospect of having to penetrate and pleasure a real living, breathing woman!  At the same time, I had only been on a couple dates with her and I don't know her true sexual background and probably did not fully trust that she was 100% free of STDs etc.  So, I know that was probably a contributor to my mental **** block.

Porn is DANGEROUS when viewed too often though, and if used as a crutch to get hard.  Especially today with all the hard core crazy **** they do in porn movies.  All the anal, ATMs, *** drinking (not swallowing, I mean drinking multiple loads), Bukakee, humiliation of women etc.  If you get addicted to the point where you need this guteral hard core "lets be as filthy dirty as we can possibly be" type of porn to get hard, then how do you expect to be able to get an erection with a "real life" woman??

I guess chronic masterbation (masturbation), where you are masterbating (masturbating) only for long periods of time and not having sex with another person can cause problems.  Masterbating (masturbating) to porn frequently can cause problems.  Mixing these two things together is a double whammy!

And lastly if you have trouble attracting and/or finding girlfriends, like I do, that does not help the situation..  I masterbate out of necessity to keep from going nuts.  In my case, if I had an available steady girlfriend, I'd rather be having sex with her instead of my hand.  I don't have all the answers, but I hope I and the others on here can sort our problems out and get into a healthy sexual relationship with real women, in the real world.
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Thank you to all of you for this message board.  I have spent the last two hours reviewing every single post as a I have many of the same problems expressed here:  too much porn, excessive masturbation, and inability to have real sex.  I think I will take the advice that many of you have recommended:  porn and masturbation abstinence and see how that works.  I met a real cutie over the weekend and was unable to make it work.  I am planning to see her again in a couple of months as she lives far away and I will let you know if the techniques have worked.

What also catches my attention is that the mere thought of having to give up porn to improve my sex life gets me sad an depressed, almost like I am breaking up with a girlfriend!  This really is an addiction!
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Yea, thats how i felt when contemplating the fact that i may have to give up porn altoghter. For me i had seen it as a substitute girlfreind to serve me until i got a real one. pretty annoying when i currently see my prospects of getting a g/f as little.

Wud be great if u cud get back to us about how porn abstinence works!
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You have all provided me with valuable insight into this issue. So, as a community member, I thank you.

Is there an answer? No alcohol, no porn, no masterbation (masturbation)... I have been alcohol free since Christmas, masturbation free since May fifth of 2010, and porn free since four O'clock today... Let's see how my journey goes.

I'm twenty one, and this issue causes me sever psychological trauma. Every time I cannot perform with a new girl I consider suicide. the thought of killing myself percolates in my mind until I'm almost pushed over the edge. The big question that comes to mind is "Why exist if you cannot do what you were born to do; have sex, procreate."... Ugh, this is killing me. I've started a new addiction though. It seems to be slowly taking over my life... An addiction to power.

Over colleagues, friends, family, women ( whom I've never really been terribly charming with), anyone and everyone. This has nearly the same satisfying affect as sex, but really it doesn't measure up. It only reminds me of the pain I feel when I can't satisfy the beautiful women that I now have "power" over... or more correctly have made attracted to me.

I feel sick with my life but moreover I truly feel that intercourse, atm, fellatio, and a wide variety of other activities are gifts. Even if I was to prematurely ejaculate with a girl the relief would be incredible. It would not be a failure. The girl would be disappointed, but no so much as when she playing with the lifeless, dried up husk of an emotionally unstable young man who walks, looks, and acts as though he could turn Ellen Degenerous Straight. FML!!!!!!!!!!
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If the following happen to you, your most likely an addict.

1. You cannot get an erection just using your imagination, you need porn to get one.
2. When you quit porn you cannot stay away, same thing with masturbation. You look for more and more excuses to go back.

Let me explain. I had this problem over 14 months ago. I tried stopping, i got to two weeks several times. Things felt better but then i looked for excuses to start using porn again. That was a mistake. I lowered my MB frequency to maybe 4 times a week with porn, as opposed to about 15. I was then able to have intercourse, but it just didn't seem fun, when i was done i felt like i was still craving the porn. Thats when i knew this is a bigger problem that i thought. I failed many times and always went back, but eventually i got it, it took a while to break free, but i feel i have.

What people don't realize is that porn messes you up both physically and mentally. Physically it makes your penis less sensitive to other stimuli, making you not able to feel as much during sex. What happens if you can't feel anything during sex? you either can't get hard, or you get hard and go soft. Mentally thought it really messes you up, it messes with dopamine, which is responsible for addiction of alot of things (cocaine, coffee, smoking). When you ejaculate your dopamine goes down and you relase a chemical called prolactin (which is why were not that interested in sex again right after ejaculation). What your doing by ejaculating to porn is allowing the brain to reinforce those images. Thus after a while with continued use they become boring and escalation comes about. Same thing with drug users who start out small but then increase to heavier drugs.

It takes longer than just 10 days to get rid of this thing. This is what i did. First three weeks, no porn and no mb. Actualy the porn should be put away forever, don't look at it at all. first three weeks no mb. Next two weeks i only mb one time per week, using only my imagination. Now at most i MB 1-2 times per week. Things you will start to notice if your doing it right.....

Regular everyday women will turn you on like they use to. Secondly, the urge to MB won't be anywhere near as frequent. Trust me, i think you'll be amazed. Honestly i don't even feel the need to MB anymore. I do it on rare occation like i mentioned, but i can do without it, i hold the power over it, it doesn't hold it over me anymore. Thats why i truely believe this is an addiction, but after those first couple weeks, things will get easier. Just stick with everything. Its about changing your lifestyle to not even need MB. Sure you can do it, but again you hold the power.

You will see some people who claim porn addiction isn't real, then theres those experts who claim its very real. Trust me its real. Its no coincidence that more and more of these cases are popping up in the last 5 or so years, which by the way happens to be the time period where porn has become more and more easily accessible on the internet.
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Just wanted to quickly add. Also pay attention to your morning erections. Now almost everytime i get 6-8 hrs of sleep i get them. Beforehand when i was MB so much i would only get them on rare occations. Another physical factor of MB to much is pain after you ejaculate, and weaker blood flow to the penis. Again look for that as a symptom, after a couple weeks look and see if your getting erections more spontaneously, that is a good sign.

Also exercise is good to increase blood flow all over.
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I think pocketfours is on to something. Definitely a tough habit to kick and it's really messing with my self esteem/ self worth. I got fed up and disgusted with myself today, so maybe I can stay mad at myself long enough to resist porn this time. I am dating someone and having sex with her, but the minute she leaves I want my mistresses, this is f-ed up!
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Wow! This is a great discussion, and I see I'm not the only one struggling with this. I've been addicted to porn, it was the first kind of sexual stimulation I had and one i found comfortable returning to. I've tried to quit several times in the past but have failed because i've gotten weak. tonight i make a vow though to resist that temptation and let sex happen for me naturally. and if my partner is not available and i have the need to pleasure myself, then i will do so, but rarely. i will try to let my sexual interactions be natural ones with my partner, not a computer.
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I have had delayed ejaculation for my entire teen and adult life.
My wife (also 1st sex partner) thought it was great during teens and early twenties, but it starts to get old when you just cant have a quickie for pleasure's sake.
Sometimes after 1/2 hour or so I could *** inside her, but now we are older and have busier lives there is just no time for a real good satisfying sex session for us both.
Over the years we have tried many things and I think a hand job did it for me once, but a ******** has never finished me off. I have been close but she 'doesnt want any *** in her mouth' so my joy never quite gets over the line.
I thought I would try erotic massage with professional people and still have the same results. It is very difficult for me to achieve an orgasm without just the right type of stimulation. I get close, but cant quite get over the line.Of course the problem gets compounded as you worry about what the causes may be and that makes it that much harder to ***. It is a vicious cycle.
My wife after these years is not very interested in sex any more so I have had to take matters into my own hands at least once a day for as long as I can think. She will let me have 'sex' with her still but there is no emotion, effort  or commitment from her end. Might as well cut a hole in the mattress...
Of course the porn I have been watching just to relieve the tension includes fetishes that I would never consider trying in real life, just for something different than the normal 'fake' sex on most web sites. This is probably where a lot of other contributors to these posts start to blur the line between fantasy and reality and cannot *** any more with their partner.
I wish my wife would still have sex with me regularly. I cant believe there are men out there with a horny partner lying in bed ready to get busy who would rather spank on the bathroom tiles than appreciate their woman. I only play with myself because there are few choices when your partner would rather sit around talking about renovating the house or our finances or something than having a good shag. If she could get her sex drive back, I would be happy to rub uglies two or three times a day.
I find myself looking at adult dating sites for cheating lonely bored wives lately just to see if an illicit affair will spice up my sex life so I can feel like a normal sexual being again instead of a porn addicted weirdo. Of course this would not be good for my marriage if I got caught so I havent fulfilled any fantasies.... yet! Perhaps my wife will get a second sexual wind and we can be happy with our hour long sex sessions, instead of the continual morning, afternoon and evening rejections I have suffered over the years. She has not initiated sex in as long as I can remember.... ever I think.
I asked my wife a few weeks ago if she ever thinks about sex and her answer was an honest and straight 'no'. Then she went about her normal business of worrying about some distant relative's upcoming birthday or something without even really realising how badly that last comment affected me emotionally.

It looks like, after reading my own thoughts in print for the first time, there are things to remedy for both myself and my wife. I might keep a copy of this and make sure to address the issues we are having one by one and perhaps we will be happier in bed. Thanks for the opportunity to put this out there.
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Ey all,

I'm not here to ask any help or give any solutions. Just want to share this current situation.
So, for a little introduction...
(This is very personal so jump to the point under the line, if not interested)

I got my first orgasm when I was 8 years old. It happened on the roof floor of the shed. There was this old car's back seat over there that had been there since I remember it. So I just laid on the seat and begun to think about the girl I liked in school. Then I begun to move my body back and forth, basically rubbing my thing against the chair (had no idea of the outcome then). As I had my clothes on, the friction wasn't that rough. And then I got it and felt really weird. I climbed down the ladder fast and running towards the bushes. I thought that I needed to pee and fast, and when I got behind the bush no urine came out. Next time I tried it again I realized that it was just some kind of other thing, nothing to do with peeing. After 3rd time I did it, well... since then, it has been pretty much an addiction. This habbit might also be the reason why I haven't got any girlfriend yet.
_________________

Okey and now to the point,
I've been masturbating for 12 years straight. About one time per day (sometimes twice, sometimes even more to experiment, sometimes 4 times a week) and mostly in these 12 years, I have used erotic pictures for it, in latest years also videos of women masturbating themselves doggy style. At very young age I didn't use anything, then there came the magazines, and then what internet has to offer. I always had good imagination about sex so I mostly used good erotic pictures of beautiful ladies, somewhat porn too, but preferred the pics. (pics have only women, but porn has these men ******* around on the screen, which somewhat bothers me).
Now I'm 20 years old and I feel like the nude material doesn't work on me that well anymore. I mean like about a month ago it was all going down the same routine. Doing my thing over a day. But then suddenly, I just wasn't using my material anymore. Listening to music, watching films, doing some physical training, dancing and stuff but staying away from my adult material.
I wasn't doing it for 2 weeks and then I just thought that something is wrong. To test my hardware I masturbated again, it was still working but it didn't feel right, it was like lack of pleasure and desire to masturbate. Now it has been a few days passed since that last time and I don't feel any need to go check out my material, or "update" it. Well but anyway, I guess I'll just pass time without masturbating then, waiting my hormones to come more active again. And eat some sunflower seeds heh.
Even if it has to be months without peeking into the material, I want to feel to get easily excited again, because I feel like I'm loosing it.
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Based on my personal experience, i feel that excesive masturbation is a cause of ED. I have read a number of articles that say that there is no good proof for this or no study to prove this is true but based on my personal experience, i do believe that masturbation in excess causes ED. I even met urologist and also tried to boost up my testosterone levels by using some gels but nothing helped. Ultimately I am having to use a drug (viagra/levitra) etc everything i want to get good erection. During my early 20s i never believed this could be true and never paid attention to that but now i regret for what i did.
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I am in the living hell of a sexless relationship.  I know he loves me and I adore him but he is not aroused by me at all anymore. Its been 5months and my self esteem is almost beyond repair.  Our history was based on very sensuous nature, a very free and open to explore adventure with sex allowed us to achieve an unbelievable intimacy and trust together. However, in time he began tohave functionality problems like  he would lose erections in the middle of sex or not be able to achieve orgasm.  

I would always be available to sex in any way he desired (even unpleasant to me ways) in order to try and peak his libido and compete with the constant stream of ever young, ever changing, always estastic, non bad smells or noises or body cramping females and men on the computer.

I found out about his porn addiction early on and watched with dispair as its use climbed and he started to lie about it.  I never condemned his use of it which confused me more the lies and subterfuge he started to take to cover his tracks.   I think the lying is more hurtful than the addiction.  I use to make excuses for his lying in that he was trying to be polite and not hurt me, but as I never complained about it why the frick? If he can look me in the eyes and make up complicated lies aobut the five hour porn session he did till dawn on weekends, what else is he lying about?

I can handle a sexless relationship if I felt he was sexless as well, but he is NOT.  He spends hours a day and sometimes half a day on weekends surfing more and more extreme porn and masturbating. Just my checking the sites afterwards in an attempt to divine what will please him, has blasted my own perceptions of sexuality to the point where I can not see a female anymore without imaging base sexual positions seen on porn sites.

I feel worthless, unattractive and despair I will lose him to the first female that he feels comfy with and can make him laugh as well as spark his sexuality again!

In all other ways our relationship is perfect, very loving and tender but I feel this change in sexuality will end us.  He has gone from a stallion in bed to treating me like a cherished mom.  I wonder if he had taken supplements or viagra to acheive that early sexuality with me.

this site has helped me in that i hear alot of the men say they are AFRAID to have sex and FAIL, so porn is an outlet for them. A safe place to vent stress, urges etc.  

for the record, i have never condemned him, attacked his prowess in bed, or shamed him. I always try to keep any discussions of this problem in calm non threatening terms.  its to the point where i have told him its not working out as i feel worse about myself than i did when i was alone.


guys, just stop the porn. if you think it not a big deal to you, try to go a week without it.  just try it.  I am sure you will freak out at how hard it is to do that.   in all honesty, do you really believe women like to do all that crap in those vids??? you really believe those actresses are having orgasms? it is not real, its hollywood and big big business.  and to be frank, alot of those girls you are watching are being abused or had been abused in their younger days.   That being said, same goes for the guys in those films.   and yes, i do believe that sex can be great and feel good. just keep it real for petes sake
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I thought it would be a good idea to post about my progress and maybe others can share their experiences as well.  I posted on May 4 that I was giving up porn and masturbating.  Giving up porn has been easier than the masturbating, but the masturbating has not been excessive.  Once every three days, tops.  In addition, a girl threw herself towards me about a week and a half ago and we ended up having sex.

I have to say that I am still having problems getting it up and maintaining it.  Although I am able to climax with the masturbation, my penis is never completely hard, maybe 60 - to 80%, although it feels good when I ejaculate.  As for the sexual encounter, I had to fake an orgasm with her because halfway through I felt going limp.  Luckily for me I was wearing a condom so I was able to pull off the "faking".  Very frustrating because she had a smokin' body!

I went to the urologist and he diagnosed low testosterone count, but despite treatment and return to normal levels, still very little progress.  On my subsequent visit they found blood in my urine so now the next step is to get a cystoscopy which looks very painful but have been assured that it won't be.  I am also going through a separation from my wife right now although this is not related to my lack of performance.

In a nutshell, I have concluded that I am either still suffering from the after effects of porn addiction or there is simply too much anxiety in my life that is affecting my performance.  I am throwing everything I know of towards this problem:  visits to doctors and psychologists, meditation, natural remedies, viagra, you name it!  But maybe that in itself is causing anxiety.

I will keep you guys posted.  So frustrating!  Like many of you, never thought I would be dealing with this in my late 30's.  I miss having mind blowing sex!
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Just some advice here. If you are a mb or porn addict or both in combination you need to give yourself a break. That means take at least 2-3 weeks off from porn, mb, everything. try not to even look at women, anything can set you back. Honestly i have had my best results when i did that. It was like night and day, but for some reason i went back into the porn and i felt that it was ok to do so and fell right back down.

think about it, if your so used to seeing a naked body, then a normal naked body just wont cut it. If your constanty fantasizing about women, or even mb to fantasy, in all likelyhood your still using themes that dealt with porn. Only difference is your just using a mental image.

in my experience you have to completely shut yourself down for 2-3 weeks. Don't think about sex, women or anything. Don't think about your porn induced ed. Thats what a couple ppl also did earlier in this thread and it worked for them. 14-20 days seems like alot, but is it really. I doubit it.

Basically anytime you see a women, or think a sexual thought, think of something else quick. Let your brain reset itself or your never fully get recovered. Once you do this it may be ok to MB periodically, but not to porn and no more than 2-3 times a week.

If your wondering why just a normal women with a really hot body doesn't seem to give you that "charge" of sexual excitement your used to getting, then your probably addicted, you just need time.
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OK all you 20-somethings, here’s a new perspective. I’m 61, physically very fit, started jogging when I was 14, now I work-out 3-5x per week, 50 mile bike rides, ski, etc. Got into soft porn magazines in the 1950’s – that was all that was available, especially for a young kid. My early sexual relations with girls was fine except for pre-mature ejaculation; the opposite problem you guys are talking about. I was always very horny, and beat-off regularly.

Then in the ‘70’s the VCR made the scene along with hard-core movies. I got into that on an irregular basis – you had to go to the store and rent a video, then return it the next day; a hassle. I was married and I started having intermittent problems getting and maintaining an erection. I never made the connection. That marriage ended in failure – we blamed everything except the waning sexual relations, although I suspected hard-core porn had something to do with it.

Now I’m married again and very much in love. I’ve always dabbled a bit in the copious selection of internet porn, but about two years ago I found a web site I really liked and have visited it with increasing frequency until I was up to 4-6 hours per day (that’s a bad habit). Concurrently it’s become more and more difficult to get and maintain an erection, and when I do, I only reach orgasm about 1 out of 4 times. I started taking one of the ED meds which helped with erections, but not with orgasms. I kind of got the connection between porn and ED, but my urologist kept telling me, “use it or lose it” so I kept at it.

Lately sex with my wife has been very infrequent; I just couldn’t get it up any more. Then a week or so ago I read all your posts. I haven’t gone back to my web site and now, only a week later I’m back. My wife and I just had the greatest sex, and without any meds. I’m optimistic it will continue. Thanks to all of you for being so open and honest about this embarrassing topic. I strongly encourage all of you to stay away from internet porn and concentrate on finding or keeping someone you love.  And to all you doctors and counselors who don’t make the connection – GET A ******* CLUE !!
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I think this whole things is more of a mental thing than a physical. Sure you can damage yourself physically by overmasturbating, and it is most definitely a symptom. However like with any addiction there is a change in brain chemistry. In order to overcome the addiction you have to be able to control yourself.

I said in an earlier post, my best results with this came within a two week period where i stopped everything. No porn, no mb, and even more importantly no sexual fantasy. I know that sounds stupid, but just because you stopped the porn and MB, doesn't mean that fantasizing about real women in porn scenes is ok, because it stunts your recovery.

What i suggest, take a couple weeks, try not to fantasize about sex at all. Remember somewhere along the lines sex became boring because you saw so much of it with P and MB. So your goal is to make things exciting again. It can work you just have to be dedicated.
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I like all of the tid bits of advice.  BUT HAS ANYONE HERE COMPLETELY RECOVERED FROM THIS?  If so please comment with what you did.  As I mentioned before working out daily preferably in the morning helped me at one point.  But has anyone been able to sustain a full recovery from this?  That is being able to achieve 100% instantaneous erections.  I also have tried going to the urologist and getting blood levels tested with everything coming back just fine.  Also I have VERY rarely watched any PORN this YEAR. Down from multiple times weekly in previous years.  By rarely I mean maybe 7-9 times this year. Maybe MB once a month and sex 1-2 times a month. With only brief marginal, unsustainable improvements.
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Yes when looking around the internet i have found many people whom have recovered from this. However every person is different. Everyone will go through their ups and downs. I got this advice from another thread on here from a year or two ago, a couple guys did what i said in previous threads. No porn forever, no mb for at least 2-3 weeks and it helped them.

A couple months back i tried this, after like 15 days everything was turning me on. To give you an example, i was never a big fan of going down on women, it just wasn't for me. But after those two weeks all of a sudden i had this huge uncontrollable urge to do so. I was so enamoured with it. I was amazed, because after years of not being interested, all of a sudden i was. I think what happened was i was finally getting back my normal sex drive, but since i had been looking at porn for so many years i never quite knew what my normal sex drive really was. I thought it was normal to look at porn 15 times a week.

However i thought i was "cured" and fell back into porn. So then started over. Alot of its been trial and error. Best advice i can give, quit the porn, quit the MB for at least a couple of weeks, and when you do go back to MB try to keep it minimal times a week with your imagination.

However here is the thing. You can't just quit MB and P and continue to look at women and fantasize about them all day, fantasize about them doing things you saw in porn scenes. From my experience it will set you back. Think of it this way, you love a certain food, you eat it everyday for three weeks straight, you become sick of it. So you stay away for a while, what happens? Eventually you start to crave it again and its all good. Well same thing applies here.....

Why don't regular women turn you on? because your so used to seeing them in porn scenes. So take a couple weeks, don't look at women and think of anything sexual. Try and shut ur mind and body down for a little bit. It will be tough, but the purpose is to starve your body of anything sexual, this way you can allow it to be exciting yet again.

I think thats what alot of ppl don't get. Just because you quit looking at porn, just because you quit mb, if you continue to fantasize sexually about every women you see your doing yourself harm.

Just try it for a couple weeks, when you see a women, don't think of anything sexual, if you start to, think of something else quick. It might be tough at first, but eventually youll get used to it, and then you'll start to see things change in a positive manner.

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Good stuff everyone. I quit watching porn about 1-2 months ago and havent really kept track. I have always had a high sex drive and porn/mb is what i did for years.

My ed got better. I got very horny recently and did not want to MB and found me a mass parlor and got laid (TOOK ME FOREVER TO GET OFF AND SHE WAS SUPER FINE). turned into another urge to go back. Fortunately I have not gone back and I truly do not think I will every go back.

I bought a damn fleslight instead. Horrible decision, its going in the trash tonight.

Ive been jerking it once or twice per day and sometimes I will wait a day or two. But I feel as though i need to take multiple months off since ive been doing this for years. I truly think my body will naturally recover at my age. I do not want to be 35 and not able to have children and a wonderful sex life with a future wife.

I work out every day and very hard. When i am done, its just so damn hard not too jerk off. For one, you have hot *** woman all over the gym. Lastly, the blood is pumping and you feel soo good..............

I will do exactly as I did with Alcohol on this. I am going to find a Group where they practice the twelve steps on SEX Addiction and find me a sponsor tomorrow. I will also not MB for quite a while, possible 30 days ++++.

If the 12 steps kept this alcoholic/drug addict sober for 5+ years, (serious alcoholic). Then the 12 steps can work on this addiction also.

Porn is the devil, its not real. Imagine, the majority of the positions you see in porn. Then imagine when you are actually having sex with a woman. You dont see it from the camera mans point of view. We are only hurting our selves.

Sorry for the random thoughts above. My mind is all over the place tonight, I will stay on top of this board and let you all know how the 12 steps work on this for me.
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I was getting a limp penis untill I luckly found this out. Try taking a No2 supplement. No2 is what makes the penis erect. I
found this out while taking the supplement for workout purposes. If you take it before sex or before working out earlier in the day you will have the best sex you have ever had!!! I find It makes you rock hard and longer. It also seems to increase my testosterone levels making me more powerful when I am pounding my woman! She loves it now and she is always in the mood, accept when she is sore. This will get your sex drive back and give you confidence that it will get up. Then when things are going well.. ease off the supplement.

Good luck with the penis problems because it can cause a lot of stress and make your life much less enjoyable. Now get off the internet and go get some!!!
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Another thing, if you feel you need to spank the monkey for some reason, it is not bad to watch porn, just limit yourself to it. Limit it to whatever you think is necessary.

And to ease your self off porn and finding that significant other, only jerk off the amount of times you have sex. Put jerking off on the pedestal instead of the woman, because that is what you are doing sub-consciously anyway. This will get your hormones raging like a horse and when you finally have sex treat yourself with with a jerk off session.

To solve yalls problem naturally do this!!!!!!  
In order for you to gain a rock hard everlasting erection you need to increase the sensitivity of our pride and joyed member. To increase sensitivity in your penis (actually penis head) don't arouse the head while wacking it This will make your penis head so sensitive to the Vagina your right leg will shake like a loose exhaust pipe. This technique i discovered makes me rock hard and make the penis extra sensitive and Thicker.
  
I dont like talking about this so i will make it quick..  wrap your hand gently around erect penis as farr down as possible. stroke it without sliding your fingers on the skin, just rubbing the muscle. concentrate on the porno and TAKE DEEP SLOW BREATHS. (concentrate on your breathing the whole time)  stroke it making it where only the skin is moving up and down. your pinky and ring finger should be wrapped around some your scrotum skin. during this session you will find your penis head it getting full and your penis is getting rock hard with bulging veins. dont arouse the head and dont strain yourself.


Another way to help your problem is to help someone else with the same problem, like i am doing. get on this site and blog what you would tell someone else to do to solve their problem, because humans dont like to diagnose their selves with problems. we solve our own problems better when we find someone with the same problem and tell them what you would do in that situation. Or use yourself in 3rd person acting like one part of you is a doctor and the other is the patient. because your brain will trick you into thinking you are fine no matter what!
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First off I want to commend all of you men and women who have confessed about this problem with porn to so many strangers.  Finding out that I am not alone in this situation is very hopeful for me.  I do believe I can offer some good insights to this problem.  In addition I have some confessions of my own.  For starters, I think this problem is not from porn alone, it is from something deeper inside.  For you guys who are having this same problem of getting turned on by your girlfriend's due to porn and over masturbation:  ask yourselves, what feelings, as in emotions can you describe you are experiencing when yanking off to porn?  

I'll describe what I feel, and the provide some evidence to support my ideas here.  Usually the feelings are made up of freedom, independence, insatiable desire, release, then finally relief, as though a storm inside of me has calmed down.  

I believe it is these feelings which we guys are pursuing, and we have found most of them by watching porn.  The trouble is, and I am very very very ashamed to mentioned this part, but even though I have been in a relationship for couple of years now, I just don't get turned on by my spouse anymore.  And here comes the shameful end, while I was at my college, I met a girl, who showed obvious interest in me, and in about 2 hours we had snuck into a closed class room and she made it clear she was ready to go all the way.  After going hot and heavy for like 30 min, I finally backed out, we were extremely close, and I was have no trouble at all with ED.  Like I mentioned before, I am very ashamed that event happened, I guess the heat of the moment just intoxicated me beyond what I could handle, and I lost control.  I never plan on letting such an event happen again, but I needed to place this story in the thread.  

I do not think that just stopping porn for a while or permanently is going to solve the issues of so many of your guys out there.  Maybe it will, and I'm going to try it myself.  But I think there is more to it.   THanks again all!  
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Dear Hotblondie,  I was sorry to hear you had such a **** BF.  But ask yourself, why did you want this guy?  I hate the idea of how I have made my GF feel, but there is no way of undoing that feeling until my problem goes away.  Its more difficult when the guy isn't in the mood, because basically the picnic is over if big Clifford does'nt come out to play.  But I just wanted to say there are better guys out there who can do a much better job at being a good man and lover.  So I wish you the best of luck.  
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Update:
I have severely cut down on Porn/ MB, but as stated previously I have had a few lapses. I am currently dating a beautiful woman and we are having sex. The first couple of times I took Viagra just in case and that obviously works. The past few times it has been at least several days and I have been able to get hard and stay hard (without V) and satisfy her as well as myself. However, the next morning it is difficult for me to get hard again like I used to be able to and she has been very understanding so far. I told her that I may need some time to transition back to the feel of a woman as I have been "servicing myself" for the past year and am desensitized (did not mention porn though). It appears as though gradually the ability to get an erection does come back, and I am hopeful that I can continue on the path to recovery.
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I have laid off the porn and the MB for almost three weeks now and I am starting to see some positive results.  Nothing like before yet, but getting erections seems to be getting easier and although I am yet to try out with a woman, the last two times I have MB, erections have been fuller.  Thanks to all for your advice.  I am still on  a long road to recovery but I am encouraged by the initial results.
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I think the most important thing is just to stay consistent. things will solve themselves if you stay patient. However from what i have read it can take anywhere from 2 weeks to 2-3 months to normalize one's sex drive again. Remember you spent a while looking at the P and MB with it, the things isn't going to fix itself overnight. I think a common problem for people is they get frustrated after not seeing improvement even after a week or two. Just stick with it for an extended period of time, if you go 2 weeks, make it 4. If you go 4, then go to 8. And so on.

Again, eventually you can MB again eventually, but not using the porn. However i would say limit it to only 1-2 times a week. You might even find you don't have the desire to MB as much anymore.

Its all about fixing your brain and giving it time away from the porn.
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gotta say i am glad i came across this forum, watching porn for me is on and off, now im gonna stay off of it for the summer at least and see how it goes, if theres a positive outcome i will continue it. i have self control so im gonna make sure to stay away from porn, thanks to every who commented to help me realize how bad it is
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hey all,
i don't think this is a problem, however, i did google it so i must be a bit concerned. i'm in my 30s, gay, and ran away from an extremely passionate yet abusive relationship. it has been 3 1/2 years and i dare not go near another potential relationship, also, i will not have sex with anyone unless i believe there is a potential for a great relationship, so, masturbation has become my lover, safe, no headaches, no black eyes and no psycho to deal with. i am very used to it by now, not having had sex with anyone during this whole time, and don't feel there is anything wrong with it as i am satisfied sexually, whenever and where ever i want and yet i am free.
sometimes i use the porn tube sites to arouse my imagination and other times i just use my own imagination and fantasy, it works great both ways.
so, does anyone have any input on this? as far as i can tell, the only thing negative about it is that i don't feel as though i need to find a man and i don't look for one and i don't interact with guys as thought i would care one way or another, i do not ever feel lonely as i always remember what it feels like to have a boyfriend that abuses me, and this is so much better for me emotionally and physically.
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Like almost all of you have said.. I'm glad I came across this thread. I just became sexually active with my new girlfriend. The first time we had sex, or attempted to have sex, I couldn't get hard enough. I then was able to blame it on the alcohol. But then i realized I couldn't even get hard when I was watching porn. I have been masturbating now on average once a day for like 4 years. And reading all these similar problems really helped me. I like some of you guys, am swearing off of porn. If you could have seen my gf's face when that incident happened. I'm sure every once in awhile a good masturbate is perfectly healthy, but I wanna be able to have sex. So i'm done with the jacking off. ED is scary, and i don't want this to be permanent!!
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Porn addiction is more and more of a problem. Just google the stats. on it. In fact half of divorces stated that porn was an issue in marriages.
Pretty sad that there is such a disconnect from reality. So hey, all you drug addicts, world or warcraft addicts, porn addicts, and so on......try living in the real world vs. your fantasy one you are running to......and figure out why you can't deal with real women, real interactions, real life.... Get it together! Its a sad situation. I know it's very hard to resist....all of these things readily available. Any bad habit is hard to break...but it can be done, if you recognize it and put in the work. Are they really worth it? Do you want to wait for filet mignon or have a nasty mc donalds cheeseburger NOW! And RUIN your appetite?
It destroys marriages, relationships, and families. It's just not worth it.
I am trying to figure out why I would stay in a relationship with a person like that myself? All I can say is this: my childhood was filled with the same types of things....so I guess it was "normal" to me in a way.....until I had children of my own and decided this is not good, it needs to stop, and the cycle breaks here. Good luck to all of you who have admitted to yourself and others that this is a problem! That is great, and is a really big deal! Alot of denial is involved with this issue, so everyone here is already off to a good start. I am happy to hear that many of the men recognize this as a problem early on....before they marry and have children, and hurt others because of their own selfish desires for instant gratification.
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I have gone through at least 1 month without mb.  I also have not looked at porn for a month with no improvement.  I have also increased my activity level working out at least 3 times a week.  Is there anything else that I should be doing?
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it actually was always in the back of my head that spanking mess with your sex life but i contiune to do so it just feels so good and i never had proof i looked this question up one time before this and it was a bunch of jerks saying its ok keep spanking but thanks to u ppl u saved me... it really open my eyes when i was dating this girl shes a little old then me shes 25 and the first time and im not at the point were i cant get it up but i could not *** to save my life and i feel so bad for blaming her... before i came to this site i just spank off for the last time im just so happy i found out before it was to late THANK U EVERYONE FOR
YOUR INFO  AND A SPECIAL THANKS TO THE PERSON WITH ENOUGH GUTS TO ASK THE QUESTION
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I have been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years now, and he is addicted to porn. There are days that we could have had sex, but he doesn't want to, so instead, he'll watch porn once I leave to go home. I don't know how any of your girlfriends have felt, by I know that I don't feel like I'm good enough because he does resort to porn so much. He's even gone as far as to say that he only did it so he could go to sleep, which I find is a cop out. I've tried telling him that it hurts my feelings knowing that he feels he needs to watch porn, but he still hasn't tried to stop. I've even tried asking him to put himself in my shoes, but that didn't seem to work either. I think I'm going to show him this thread and see what he has to say about it.
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I am so glad that I came across this post because, to a certain extent, this is precisely what I have been going through. My girlfriend and I were together for 2.5 years before we broke up and one of the reasons was our "sexual incompatibility", which manifested itself by the fact that I could not keep it hard long enough. Only now, I came to the realization that this sexual incompatibility was in fact caused by my porn/masturbation addiction.

Someone above mentioned it brilliantly that real-life women should not be expected to do the things that one sees in porn movies. No doubt, the fact that I did not realize this earlier led to many arguments that I had with my girlfriend about oral sex and other sexual adventures.

I am convinced of the fact that my addiction with porn led to my ED and hereby, I make the pledge that I will stop watching porn. (I am 23 years old now and have been watching it once a day for about half an hour). More so, I would like to refrain from masturbating as well.

Thank you to all of you for enlighting me and giving me courage to pursue with my plan. It's encouraging to know that I am not the only person going through such an addition and the fight to end it.
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I have found something that has been helping. I was reading up on the internet and saw this suggested about a week or so ago. As many have described on this thread, when you over masturbate you can mess with the neurochemistry of your brain. Couple this with the fact that alot of americans probably don't get the nutritional value they need on a daily basis and your putting your messing with your body.

Overmasturbation messes with neurotransmitters in your brain, everytime we ejaculate we also release a chemical called prolactin from the body. This chemical is responsible for that tired feeling we get after ejaculation. Its the reason there is no interest in sex right after, you go through that refractory period. Now after a single ejaculation it can change prolactin levels for days, even weeks.

So i looked up neurotransmitters and prolactin and their relationship to vitamins and such. Turns out vitamins are very important for neurotransmitter health, vitamins and proteins help make them and keep them balanced. So i started taking a regular multivitan, a B complex vitamin (high levels of b vitamins) and ginseng.

Regular multivitamin is important for overall health. B complex vitamins are important for energy and neurotransmitter health, vitamin b6 and ginseng are said to possibly lower prolactin levels in people. So what were my results?

I hadn't MB for over two weeks, then i started taking them in conjunction with not MB and my libido absolutely shot through the roof. I noticed increase energy, libido, and also just feeling better as a whole (b vitamins are great for stress, cause when were stressed our neurotransmitters get depleted as well).

I look at it this way, just because you stop MB doesn't mean your libido will automatically come back. Its not just about that, its def part of it, but lifestyle (exercise, sleep habits) and nutrition, or lack there of also play a roll in this. I had mentioned earlier in this thread that i had my greatest success when i took two week breaks from P and MB, and its true, but what i didn't remember is during that time period last year i was taking vitamins to help out my body.Years of overmasturbating, and maybe not being as healthy as we should be, and it has caused depletion in levels of the body.  In my view these things help replenish the body and keep it in balance, and thats what i think alot of us are missing.

I will note i am not a dr, i'm not suggesting you take any of the above, most of those vitamins are generally safe, but i don't know how each individual will react to them. I only posted that to update people on something that has had a positive benefit for me.
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I am so glad I came across this thread!

I think the comments in this thread shed lots of light on an all-too-real but undiagnosed medical issue affecting tons of men everywhere.

We all need to stop watching so much porn! And don't you find yourself coming back to the same fantasies, over and over? Life is way too short to waste on pornography.

Doctors and the medical, scientific, and "knowledgeable" community at large need to stop spreading lies about the harmlessness of masturbation in our society!
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I have been watchin porn like every 2 days , the feeling of it is not like it used to be ... am losing interest but at the same time I cant get away from it anyone got any advice me ? it sad that the porn industry keep on doing this things but like they always say ...they are not responsible for any action that is taken we are on our own ! I read some of the comment about getting away from 2 weeks to 6 month , I want to stop watching porn and leave in the real world ... as a men its kind hard but I hope that I can do it am 27 and feel like it has to come to an end, I believe that everythin that has a beginning as an end . Thanks for ya comment , hopefully this will help me and change my life after reading your advices.
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I actually started to look at porn around the time this thread was started, and after reading some of these thoughts and ideas, I wish i would have looked here sooner, I'm currently 15, and last year my friends and a couple of other guys were talking about stuff kind of like this, one of my friends said, "I had just finished jacking off, and then my girlfriend offered my a ********, except I couldn't get a boner." I laughed at it at the time, but recently my girlfriend offered me the same thing, guessed what happened... that's right, I couldn't get a boner, it wasn't that I didn't find her sexually attractive, I think the main problem for me was that I was looking at way to much porn, since finding this thread though I have made a little promise to myself not to look at porn again. In reality I was coming to similar conclusions myself considering that I could wack off to pictures of girls just doing erotic stuff before, in the 3 or 4 years I've been masturbating my sex drive has gone down tremendously and I sometimes have a problem keeping an erection. I actually went to my church last year and decided to tell them this during confession, but it didn't really help, they basically yelled at me for doing and told me I had serious issues, without actually explaining to me why it was bad (the told me it leads away from real relationships, and left it at that.) I didn't seek any help after hearing this because the media, and all my friends said it was normal and everybody does it, so I felt as if I didn't have a lot to worry about. After reading this though, I just hope it's not to late for me to still "recover."
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Pocketfours, My problem is extremely similiar to yours. I need your help (very seriously). If you email me your email address at ***@**** so I could talk to you. I would be very appreciative. I really need the help of someone like you. I started to do what you have suggested. It's been exactly 3 days without MB and P. I have also started taking a multivitiamin. NSI Synergy 3000® Multi-Vitamin Version 11. It seems to have everything that is deemed necessary including a high concentration of b vitamins. I'm also thinking of taking red korean ginseng, as you do advise that ginseng may be of some assistance.
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It seems in my prior post the email address was censored. Here it is ejrussellpoint at gmail com . Thanks
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Finally somewhere I can actually admit this

I have been a porn addict and I have been masturbating upto 4 times a day in the recent times. I am 27 now and I think I have been masturbating since I was 14. I have met the love of my life and the first time I attempted to be intimate with her I could not maintain an erection which since then has been causing me significant anxiety. I then realised I cant even get stimulated by porn anymore.

Has anyone else been in this same situation before?

After reading all this I definitely will be kicking the porn and the masturbation habit cold turkey. I guess I really do want to know if there could be any permanent repercussions with my actions in the past.
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The vitamins do help, they help provide energy and such, and also help your body replenish itself both physically and mentally, but there not the end all.

You have to be truely commited to stopping this thing. You see i had a period of 2 weeks abstinence a couple weeks ago, after that things were good.... however i went into MB with P again, i did it like 10 times in a one week period, and then i went back to having a lethargic libido again. I think a big problem is that people don't want to give up the P and MB, but if you can just break through you will find things are much better on the other side.

I just keep telling myself, that even though P and MB give me pleasure, it can't compare to what a women can give me, to having relationships with women. Thats huge motivation.

Again my best advice, stop all MB for at least 2-3 weeks, leave the porn away forever. Also don't spend your time fantasizing all day, give your mind a bit of a break. the only time i check my sex drive is if i see a women, i look and see how things are progressing. Other than that i don't fantasize for the time being. Your mind will reset itself.
Ohh and don't ever look at old porn and such to see how your progressing, it doesn't work, your just providing your brain with that same high you would normally get. Remember the goal is to get aroused again by real women, not porn women.

While you stop don't get frustrated, this is a not so fun part and alot of people struggle with it. There is a period where you won't be able to get aroused by anything. People that have recovered have said the same thing. This period can last anywhere from 2 weeks, to maybe 4-6 weeks. I don't know why it happens, but i guess its sort of like the mind transitioning itself back to its old ways, its not going to happen in a day, but eventually it will get to that point. I myself noticed all of a sudden after 3 weeks of having no libido, it shot through the roof outta nowhere. So it will come back you just have to be patient, stick to your recovery and don't get discouraged.

Eventually it will be ok to MB again (to your imagination), but i plan to eventually do that once or twice a week, and save the rest for the real thing. And leave the Porn alone. Dont get frustrated, let things come to you.
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I stopped MB and P on June 28 7:30 am. It has been eight days. Again I'm continuing with taking a complete vitamin that Ive mentioned before. Yesterday, I ve started taking tongkat ali - from sumatra pasak bumi - you guys can look it up on google. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I have always had problems with erections. I've been to many urologists, and also psychiatrist and a psychologist. One of the urologists was the Dr. Irwin Goldstein. At that time he was in boston, now he is in san francisco. He ran a series of tests. I don't remember exactly all the names as it was about 8-9 years ago. It was basically with the use of aprodastil injections in to the penis. My penis then became erect and he tested for the pressure that is in my penis and the blood flow. He told me everything was normal. All the other doctors have told me everything is normal. I had a doppler test also back then in NY. Also all normal. I'm 32 and have been masturbating since I was about 13-14 not sure exactly. I had a condition called phimosis. Where the head of the penis would not exit through the foreskin. I didnt really even know that it was suppose to. My erections were never hard. I remember I use to for a lack of a better term simply hump the bed ( this is not the best way to masturbate since it puts an unrealistic amount pressure on your penis, that would normally not happen with a woman, this would make you need alot more sensation then a woman can offer you and you will simply go limp even if you are able to get it up). At 19 being a virgin I tried sex with my girlfriend. I couldn't get it up. We tried for hours. We also tried something like on 5 different occasions. I couldn't perform. Thats when I realized I had a problem. It was clear I could not get an erection. I seeked help. I had a series of tests and the doctor advised me to have a circumcision at I believe 20 or 21. At that age I stopped humping the bed and used my hand because from that point I think that my sensitivity dropped. I think circumcision may not be the best ideas. Either way I always had trouble achieving erections, whether circumcised or not. I didnt really even understand what being hard really was suppose to be. I rarely if ever was really hard. I never had a wet dream even up to now (this is probably because of my severe masturbation habit). I also rarely rarely ever have any spontaneous erections. Also very rarely ever wake up with an erection.( all this probably due to masturbation and my body being satisified and the penis does not needing to stand up) It was mostly like either limp or slightly hard and then quickly limp. I continued to have this problem, and that's what brings me to the point from which I started where I said I saw a multitude of doctors and they all said I was normal and that it was in my head. Which it probably is.
Ive tried cialis, levitra, and viagra. Tongkat ali also I believe boosts your libido, but only the one from indonesia, not the fakes that are around. I once tried tongkat ali for about 3 days, arginine pyroglumate for 3 days then took 20 mg of cialis. The next mourning I woke up with priapism. My erection would not go down for 2 hours. I got very scared. Because I know after 4 hours you need to seek medical help. I masturbated and ejaculated, but it still did not go down. After I tried to meditate and after another 30 minutes I was able to get it down. This was the only time I was able to keep it up like this. At all other times I can't even really get it hard, it is usually just limp, hard a little and then limp. I remember only a few times in my life where I was able to get it really hard but there wasnt a girl around. I think I have babbled enough going from idea to idea, but in general conclusion. I think porn along with masturbation has created the bulk of the problem. I've masturbating for something like 18 years. and watching porn probably for close to that maybe 15 years. With the internet watching porn because alot more rempant. I most always masturbated at least once per day, usually twice and sometimes as high as five times. Almost always with porn. Looking at this logically, it is clear that seeing 1000 naked women (professionals) in different positions and every imaginable sexual act with different fetishes , different shapes, sizes, etc. would certainly desensitize you to simply having one average girl in front of you. Using your hand instead of a females vagina, simply puts too much pressure, with very acurate placement on the penis(your so called male g spot) and perfect rhythm. A woman can not duplicate this. With this scenario. It being my scenario. It seems that erections would be almost impossible.

The only possible solution is to follow what pocketfours is saying plus I have a few things to add

--go to a doctor, run tests and make sure the plumbing is working fine. meaning veins, arteries, no leakages and so worth. Make sure the problem is mental.

Now the hopeful solution,

1 No porn ever. Forget it exists, do not go strip clubs, do not anything that would not normally be present in a one on one situation with a girl.
2 No masturbation for a long time - perhaps 4 months.
3 Afterwards, If you are to masturbate do not use your hand, use this gadget called a fleshlight, it sort of mocks what a vagina would feel like, no where close to the tightness your hand gives off. If dont have this gadget then use a sock and wrap it around your penis. No way you should use your hand, the grip is way too tight.
4. take complete vitamins ( synergy version 11 is good), tongkat ali (sumatra pasak bumi, you dont have to buy from them, you can buy from a US distributor of theirs, look on ebay, find ones that sell only sumatra pasak bumi, there are also a couple which claim that they sell from sumatra but dont), maybe take arginine pyroglumate to produce more nitric oxide.


Well this is my plan. I will keep everyone informed as to how I'm progressing. Wish me luck. I'm very depressed about this problem it is keeping from living a normal life.
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I wanted to add one thing. I would like pocketfours to confirm

You should only start masturbating once a week or once every two weeks, when you are waking up with a nice solid erection every day and also are getting at least one or more sponteounous erections during the day, but either fantasy or seeing an average girl on the street. If not, then your body and brain is not cured and you should continue abstaining from masturbation until this point.

POCKETFOURS PLEASE CONFIRM THIS.
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spelling correction

I wanted to add one thing. I would like pocketfours to confirm

You should only start masturbating once a week or once every two weeks, when you are waking up with a nice solid erection every day and also are getting at least one or more sponteounous erections during the day, by either fantasy or seeing an average girl on the street. If not, then your body and brain is not cured and you should continue abstaining from masturbation until this point.

POCKETFOURS PLEASE CONFIRM THIS.
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This is SOOO interesting the way guy's minds work VS women's minds. As a women I find the more I watch porn the more boring porn is to me and I yearn for the real thing. How do you get turned on to porn when there's no emotion no passion? Just a bunch of bad actors. If you men only knew what a real orgasm looked like then you could probably tell the difference.
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Pocketfours, I also have another question for you. After someone is "cured". How often can they have sex, or how do you recommend them having sex. I guess basically I'm asking how often are you able to after being cured. Once a day, Once a week, Once a month?
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This is happening to me also, but it kinda made me go crazy, i thought i was gay ( of course i was not) i  masturbate 3 or 4 times a day since i was 8 yes 8 and im 27. and it takes me like 4 minutes to get an erection ( when it used to be almost instantaneous), thanks for posting this question i wish i would have seen this earlier im going to lay of the porn and the self serving.
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Yes i believe its ok to start having sex after you recover, but i can't say how that fully effects one longterm. My plan has been for the time being to save my ejacuations for sex only, if thats 5 times a week then fine, if its only 2 then so be it. I intend to stay the course like this for at least a couple more months.

As far as MB, i'll still eventually do it, but only like once, maybe twice a week and with no porn.

Remember this is a physical and mental thing. You have to allow your body to heal, give it a couple weeks. Things will start to turn around, i'm telling you it comes out of nowhere. Youll be back, but advice, don't fall back into the Porn, and don't fall back into over masturbating. I have gotten to the point i'm at now once or twice before, but always messed it up, cause i went back to MB 12 times a week again. i'm not gonna let that happen again.

My suggestions -

- Give the body a break for at least 3-4 weeks.
- Nutrition, Vitamins, and Proper sleep

The only thing i can't seem to understand is that both times i recovered, after my initial break of a couple weeks something kind of jumpstarted me. Like for example seeing a naked body. Almost like i shut down my sex drive for a little, and then needed something to get it going once again, and then all of a sudden i was fine after that. Again almost out of nowhere the brain just reset itself.

If you wanna read more things like i have, in google type in "to much porn libido". Theres another medhelp post with some guys who have recovered. Actually at the bottom of this page theres a bunch of them as well. Read through them, especially the ones with 20 or more posts. And also a thread on topix, look through that, it comes up on the google search as well.
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i recently got married a few weeks ago; i am 24 and my husband is 33. i've known for quite a while that my husband has this same issue. he can MB by himself and watch porn and get off, but yet he cant seem to do it with me. I know that i am a very attractive person and before i got married, had many men wanting to be with me. I have a VERY  high sex drive, but yet since i have been with my husband it seems like i feel actually like we cant have sex, unless he goes and buys pills to help him out. which i think is ridiculous! If he can watch porn and do it without porn; it seems like recently, then why is it so hard for him to get it up when it comes to me. it breaks my heart, and ITS NOT FAIR!! i have no choice but to sit around and wait for weeks, most of the time for him to decide he is ready to spend a lot of money on these crazy pills just so we can have sex so i can get mine, and again when he is ready, but yet when he decides he wants to get his, he just jerks off. Its really disturbing. It really hurts my feelings and makes me feel useless. Especially knowing when we first met i could have sex 3 times a day with no problem. He turns me on very much and i really would love to have a sex life with my husband, and we have had these conversations over and over but he still would rather "do it himself". Its starting to really **** me off.  It kind of turns me off, just to know that my husband has to go to the sex store to buy pills just to make his penis work for me. I'm tired of talking about it, and i;m tired of crying over it...but i dont know how to react anymore. I would never cheat on him, bc i'm just not that kind of person, but damn, there are a lot of guys out there that sure wouldnt have a problem having sex with me, so why does he have such a problem with it?? I need some advise please......
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I'm 24 years old and used to have a porn addiction.  I have not watched porn now for 60 days now and I feel like a new person.  Porn definitely made me less attracted to women and it had prevented me from pursuing relationships and sex with women.  Thing is you need to stop porn completely as 9 months ago I stopped, but I'd relapse every month after I'd get stoned for some reason and then I'd be back to square one.  Now I plan to abstain from porn for the rest of my life and weed as well as it makes me want to masturbate to porn.  

Another problem that has not been addressed in this website is that porn not only makes you less attracted to women and reduce your sexual performance.  It also causes damage to your prefrontal cortex like any drug addiction and increase the size of your limbic system, so essentially it transforms your brain to the brain of an addict.  Maybe not as bad as a cocaine addict, but pretty damn close.  I can attest to this as I did behave as a drug addict during my addiction, which lasted several years and my family members could see that I wasn't the same person.

Now, that I've begun to exercise and meditate frequently and have gotten in good shape, my self esteem and confidence is through the roof.  I'm glad I found about it now and not in the future where I could of lost valuable years of my life.  I'm happy I wasn't in a relationship with a woman when I was addicted to porn as I would of caused emotional harm to her in the process.  Now that I'm free from porn addiction, I can now pursue women without any guilt.  Now the hard part is convincing a friend of mine to quit.
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Hi everyone. I'm back to tell you my progress. It has been over 18 days now. I have not ejaculated or looked at porn. I have played with myself on a good number of occasions, by touching my penis with my hand and trying to get an erection. I have been able to get pretty good erections, but not the level I would like. The erections also did not last long, like 15 seconds. I always stopped short of ejaculation because I dont want to spoil my hormone and neurotransmitter levels. Today while taking a sh*t(for lack of a better term). I had some yellowish discharge from my penis, suddenly. It looked like ***, but I don't really know exactly what it was and it wasn't plentiful, like when I ***, plus I wasn't doing anything sexual.

So, I'm continuing abstaining from porn and ejaculation for now. I'm also hoping to refrain from touching myself. I think this is what is keeping me from getting spontenous erections, during the day. I haven't really gotten any. Also I have not woken up with an erection either. Not even one day during this period.

Moreover, I feel like a have to pee, but I don't. This is the accumulation of sperm(***). This happens especially when I'm using Tongkat Ali- like on the third day of a cycle where I was taking  it for 5 days and  not taking  for 3 days. This is my body telling me I have to ejaculate, But I will not. I'm waiting for a period where I can get solid erections when I wake up and perhaps at least one spontenous erection during the day. I think this will signal that I'm ready to move on to the next step. This step would be to attempt penetrating a woman.

POCKETFOURS or anyone else. please tell me does touching oneself still count as masturbation and harms my recovery?

I think it does, so I'm hoping to stop this behavior also. I want to get to a point where I can get nice solid erections, without using my hands. I think this will be the point of full recovery. Which I don't know when this would happen. I've had this problem for so long, that I probably need something like 4 months, doing nothing - no porn , no MB, no touching.

Overall, I'm still frustrated, but my erections are better. It use to be when I was MBing on a regular basis ( 1 to 5 times per day). I had major problems getting an erection. This problem was present almost all the time. I would work my hand unreasonably fast and hard ( no way a vagina or even a woman giving you a handjob would compare), with internet porn in front of me, tons of nude women, all shapes, sizes, colors, fetishes, etc. With all this I still couldn't get an erection.

Today I took all my clothes off, completely. Got on the bed face up, and stroked myself somewhat lightly to medium. I did this 3 times today - mourning, afternoon and towards the evening. I again did not ejaculate. I was able to get an erection each time, but it was not very solid for long, and when it was it did not last long  - like 15 seconds maybe a bit more. However I was able to keep it up for stretches of 4-5 minutes by very light and brief stroking. This happened all three times. Now this progress isn't exactly sufficient for sex, but it is a long way from where I was 18 days ago.

18 days ago I couldn't even get an erection with porn present and very hard stroking. I must say this regime seems to be improving my condition. Thanks to Pocketfours.

Now, again I'm looking to be a able to get an erection without the use of my hands. I must say that at the beginning I was not using my hands and in the first week I was able to get a few very short lived sponteounous erections-- like 1-2 seconds. So I would certainly have to say that touching myself is hurting my recovery. I would like Pocketfours or anyone to chime in on this one. Perhaps, answer whether it is or not.

Thanks for listening and I will keep everyone updated.
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One more thing it seems that they censored one word. where it says *** it my last post. It is the word come- but spelled differently of course.
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This is what happens when you listen to stupid idiots on internet forums.

Dude, masturbate, its OK.  The effects of masterbation (masturbation) ware off in about 15 minutes.

If you have ED problems it is a COMPLETELY UNRELATED ISSUE to masturbation.

Within 24 hours or a good night of sleep, your libido will be absolutely at 100% regardless of the last time you climaxed if you are a healthy male.  If you have a serious problem, and not just that you are trying to bone someone who you are not attracted to, then you need to see a doctor.  But the general rule of thumb is "practice makes perfect".
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Believe me. Masturbation and porn, together or apart are a very serious issue. You might be talking about it not affecting you. It is just like everything else. Some people are allergic to a particular food, others can eat plates full of it. Some people can drink alcohol socially and not have a problem, others become alcoholics. There are different scenarios. If you can get your penis up on demand, then clearly you dont have the problem. If you masturbate alot and watch port alot and it doesnt affect you. I'm glad. But believe me after having my hand around my johnson for years, it certainly causes problems. No way a woman's vagina can compare. The tens of thousands of nude woman on the internet, compared to one regular naked girl. Again no way it is similiar. The whole point of arousal is that you are stimulated by something that is extra ordinary. You don't usually see a naked girl all day, so when you see one your johnson stands up. However, if you watch porn, then that is not the case. You actually do see a naked girl all day. And they are professionals that look alot better than the girls you will meet. Do you think that really ordinary one girl will cause an erection after years of seeing naked woman on the net? I hope she does, but it effects everyone differently. And when you finally get it up, your johnson will not feel anything, from over masturbating and having your down there.

I didnt want to argue I just wanted to set the record straight. Just look at the whole thing logically. If you are super duper over stimulated. Do you think that when the time comes for real sex, that you will be aroused. I hope so, but that is not the case for everyone. Take care for now
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what you said was brilliant! (ejp78)
people really do need to realise that for some it is a really big problem and we are all very different people, who react very differently  to different things....

i wish i could understand what is wrong with my gorgeous boyfriend, i love him so very very much, more than i love myself and we have a very close relationship, he is truly my best friend....

but our sex life at the moment really is utter crap!

we've been together for just coming up to 2 and a half years and i am 20 years old, he is 21. I was the first girl he had slept with when we got together, me having been with 8 as i started having boyfriends at a young age and just generally have enjoyed having sex........ I think that was quite intimidating for him, but we soon got to sheer brilliance, what can i say im a good teacher... things were great sexuallllyyy!!!!

then i went to uni, but whenever we did see eachother it was pretty intense, but i think this must have been when he started to use porn more and more as we would only see eachother about 3 or 2 nigghts a week :( and i moved away for uni from our area

i got quite upset with him about using porn as i felt it was cheap and degrading and pointless and unreal, i wanted him to save himself for me, but as ive gotten a bit older i do understand that bit more, although i will never quite agree with it!
but our sex life has slowly got worse and worse and have had sex about 5 times in the last 2 and half months!!! we dont really talk about it too much, well i do, but he doesnt feel comfortable about it, he doesnt really understand it himself and gets angry and annoyed, so just doesnt bother to try...
the last time we were getting it on messing around, but as soon as i put the condom on him and he tried to  enter me he went soft and i really do not understand!
i hadnt thought his porn consumption had gotten very high, he definitely isnt doing even an hour a day, barely even everyday,,, but maybe i do not know the truth?

it is porn? what is he doing in his spare time?... b ut the thing is, if hes not at work then he is with me... so whats going wrong... one of the other times he 'went soft' whilst sex i asked him if he had thought about going soft and he said yes, which i new thinking about it would be enough to discourage him and loose it
the thing is when he is drunk he doesnt have this problem! its beautifully hard haha, so maybe he should just get drunk all the time.... that is a joke... and really not the answer!
the thing is i have a nice sex drive, and especially now imback from uni, i wanna have sex every day! and this really isnt working!!!!! im getting bored of trying it on with him now, as he really doesnt seem very interested and is slowly loosing all drive (he is ) i've allways had a higher sex drive than him, but lately its just getting desperate....i miss doing it several time in the day"??!!!! WHAT IS THE CULPRIT!? i've even  thought about cheating as i know many guys who would satisfy me....everything is perfect but the sex..... and me who was so against porn, watched some lesbian action the other day as was so horny!>?! can you believe it... i really dont wanna have to resort to what i think is problem of my relationship to feel pleasure, i want the reall thing!
WHAT SHALL I DO...grrrrrr
im starting to actually think it is me, over the last 6 months i have dropped 2 dress sizes and no longer have the massive boobs i used to, i still have big-ish boobs and he says he loves them, i just have a nice flat stomach not and toned legs, but i know he like his girls a little biggish--which i find very strange!! is this it??? maybe he just doesnt actually find me attractive anymore?......
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I doubt the problem is you. Most women think that sex is more emotional for them then it is for the man. It is actually the other way around. If a man has some emotional problem he simply can't perform. This problem may be low self esteem, poor self image, not being attracted to the girl( I doubt that's what it is), what his mother did to him, and of course being over stimulated by lots and lots of masturbation and porn. There are tons of reasons what it could be. He may not even know the reason consciously, only sub consciously. For example he may be intimidated that you have had more sexual partners than him. He has only had 1, you had 8. So he doesn't feel like a man. It might seem funny but it might be the reason. He may have been thinking about this all along, and now has come to some conclusion, that is affecting him emotionally. This problem is definitely emotional and in his head, since you said he has performed fine in the past. Perhaps you have had some conversations about whatever that got him thinking and that's all it takes. It could be any reason. He should definitely stop the porn to begin with. Show him this thread and let him see what it does. If that doesn't convince him. It will eventually, perhaps several years down the road when he is having all sorts of problems. Porn certainly affects your brain, I think there is no way around it. Our ancestors thousands of years ago, were perhaps exposed to as much nudity their whole lives, as a man can see in several hours surfing the internet. There is no way porn is safe, if you want to remain healthy be able to get an erection. As far as masturbation, (this being another culprit), he doesn't really need to masturbate since you are there and again this will affect him very poorly in the future. Just tell him all this. And if he has been using porn and masturbating, just wait a month after he stops, this way there will be less of a chance of failure. If you try right away the porn is fresh in his mind.
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Is stroking your penis without coming, still count as masturbation? Does this still harm your recovery?
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in my experience the best results come from when your not thinking anything sexual for a couple weeks. Honestly thing will get terribly frustrating, but its only a couple of weeks. I have gone through a couple periods of this where i have abstained. My best results have come when i shut myself down completely for a couple weeks.

That means do your best to minimize sexual thoughts. For example, just cause you stopped looking at porn doesn't mean that you don't put normal women in sexual fantasies, i did this to try and see how i was progressing. It does slow you down.

What i would suggest, for the first 14-17 days try not to think much sexually. It will seem like a year, but in reality its not that big a deal. Just give yourself a break, don't worry, don't do anything. If you have thoughts of porn, just think of something else. To me this does two things......

First off it gives you a break, and it allows you to supress sexual thoughts for a while. It allows your brain to reset itself without any interference (ie. constant sexual thinking). Secondly it works by helping remove the porn thought from your head, the more you distance yourself from them the better off you'll be.

It could take a little longer, but again, try to limit sexual thoughts for a while and no MB. After you feel you have recovered, i don't see a problem with limited MB again. Leave the porn away, and just don't overdo it with the MB. My rule is if i have a girl i'd only MB max once a week, if not 2, and maybe occationally 3.

Through this whole process i have found out i don't really need to MB that much anyway. I'd rather save it for a much more satisfying sexual encounter.
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I just read how healthy orgasms are. And it seems that more orgasms may just help prevent prostate cancer..So the conflict which I throw out to you guys. If we stop watching internet porn and masturbating, we will have less orgasms. Is there any downside to having far fewer orgasms, like increased probability of getting prostrate cancer?.

However, having said that, watching porn and masturbating to it on a regular basis, while at first gives more sexual energy eventually dulls the sensations with your spouse or girlfriend.

A little background: I have arteriosclerosis, my doctor listened to my concerns and prescribed Viagra. With Viagra I could maintain my erection, but it did not help reach an orgasm. I was having intercourse for long long stretches, enough to actually start hurting my spouse.  Yes, I know women are happy if their men can delay orgasm until they orgasm, but there is a point that delayed orgasm goes on too long.   The problem with me it was taking longer and longer to orgasm.

Prior to finding this site I read an article on the internet, saying exactly what you guys are saying that internet porn sites, with lots of free porn, is dulling our sensations with the ladies and after masturbating for months viewing internet porn, I agree, my own sensitivity with my spouse has decreased to the point I was having problems both with keeping an erection and reaching orgasm with my spouse.  I thought it was the Atherosclerosis .

Here is the complete shocker and it is so simple. Just go cold turkey with the internet porn. It has been two weeks for me.  After stopping the porn, the first time I had sex with my spouse, I was able to maintain an erection and have an orgasm from intercourse, without Viagra..  My relationship with my spouse is improving and we are having more sex. I seem to be doing much better without the Viagra.  Now this could be a placebo effect. It has only been two weeks since I stopped the porn.

Today I had a strong urge to start watching the internet porn.  Stress builds up and a orgasm is such a stress reducer.  But if I start watching it again, I know I will again reduce my sensitivity with my spouse.

Here is another real negative about internet porn. It is such an enormous waste of time, I could be doing something more productive with my life.  It is not enough to say I will try to decrease the internet porn. I have not viewed it for two weeks and used to look at it daily. so since it was an addiction I will not view any internet porn for as long as it takes to  lose interest it, and for me to return to a normal sex life with my spouse.
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i am 16 i watch too much porn and i ejaculate frequently( every 3-4 days)
is it not right? what may happen to me?
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Good points newzev.....

And i agree, changes can occur in as little as two weeks. Obviously this problem is both physical and mental. Physically you can drain your body, and make you less sensitive. But it can also have a tremendous mental effect as well.

I think people need to realize, when we say go cold turkey. It means cold turkey. Don't even think about porn. Don't check in on porn to see if it excites you again. The goal is to get it out of your head. Heres the thing.... think back of other bad habits you may have had in the past, one's you'd never thought you would break. Then you make a commitment to stop, its tough at first, but as time passes it becomes alot easier to break habits.

Its the same way with porn, the goal is to almost forget it exists. Or just drastically decrease the time thinking about it. If old porn movies pop into your head, even for 5-10 seconds, think of something else quick. It will be difficult at first, but over time it will become easier and easier to forget. Eventually youll be suprised at how much you can clean your memory of it. Eventualy you'll be able to get aroused by simple things again, things your supposed to be excited by.

As for MB, i think its ok to do, but after you abstained at least a couple weeks, and for me i would do it with much less frequency (1-3 times) and certainly no porn.
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will my marriage survive this addiction and at what cost ?
by brokensoul70, 3 hours ago
Today there has been a lot of tears. Maybe more than usual. Actually after giving him an ultimatum my husband has begun the slow process of admitting(sort of) that he is addicted to pornography. We often go months without sex, even though we both are highly sexual creatures. When we do have sex it's a toss up between "will he be able to stay hard" or " will he come in less than 3 minutes. I could never have imagined this happening to me. He claims that he is tired, stomach ache, stressed out, kids, etc. Yet through the years I have often woken up to an empty bed and he is somewhere in the house masturbating. Once when I was pregnant he was even masturbating in bed right beside me (while he thought I was asleep) with the volume turned down on the porn channel. And let me tell you in wasn't due to my refusal to have sex. On the contrary. He has turned me down more times than I can count. His porn over the years has escalated from pretty girls doing naughty things to disgusting and violent displays that I could have never imagined him being turned on by. The last website I found depicted a girl with frightening smeared make up spread eagle with a fist down her throat .He's now toying with live sex and web cams .  I became aware of his problem almost from the beginning , but talked myself into believing that if I could just be sexier, thinner, more willing, more something... more anything...then he would stop, and choose me. I have spent years spying, confronting, threatening, hiding outside the bathroom door listening, pleading, begging, and finally in the most profoundly sad way; resorting to watching his pornography to try and feel somehow connected. I have had two babies and my body has shifted and changed the way bodies do, but I think I'm still beautiful.I am so lonely . I am an incest survivor and I have traded sex for love all my life. This is profoundly painful for me in ways that I can't even describe. He knows everything about me, my history, my patterns, my stories.I feel rejected and worthless.  I've spent years in therapy dealing with my own issues and it baffles me and saddens me that I find myself on the battleground again in my marriage.  I have cried too many times.  I'm suffering and it doesn't seem to matter to him.Everytime we come into crisis again he finds away to make this my fault. I shouldn't spy on him, every man does this,I'm neurotic, I have issues, this is about my childhood........etc. etc etc.Somehow I end up apologizing and compromising the one thing that is a sure fire way to undo my heart. But my God I love him. There are so many things I love about him. In every other way that matters he is a good man. A loving father. A kind and decent human being. He has been my best friend and I can't believe that he won't stop. After evrything I've read I'm not sure we are going to make it out. It breaks my heart because it's not just me on the chopping block it's our kids and our life that we have built together.I don't know if I can ever trust him again.The last time we had "good" sex the only way to keep him engaged was to tell him to **** me dirty. So he did. He called me a ***** and he came like a demon. It was all I could do to keep from crying at my shame. Shame because I wanted him to say it. Shame because I am willing to take anything just to feel like he wants me. I have been a ***** and I have spent my adult life trying to deal with the deep scars that have been embedded in my soul.I feel responsible for letting it get this bad. The ironic thing is that to everyone else  we're normal people. I am a yoga teacher he is a firefighter. We're not some deranged monsters. We're just two very lost people and I don't know how  we got here. Is there any way out of this hell? I'm not feeling very hopeful.
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Avatar_f_tn
I spent most of the night last night reading 'Out of The Shadows'. I swing bewteen rage and utter despair. I felt like my life was being explained on those pages. At 2:30 in the morning I sent my husband a text demanding that when he comes home today ( he works out of town everyweek ) he brings with him him all his "gear". Web cams, laptops, cell phones,..all of it. I fear things are far worse than I have ever imagined. The missing time, unaccounted for money ( 2 bankruptcys ),and sick nagging feeling I have had all these years can not be ignored anymore. I have allowed him to make me feel neurotic and ridiculous for reacting to what has been a complete deception and breach of my love and trust. I've had it.The question is will he ever really tell the truth ? Do I have a right to finally know all the lurid details ? Will it only hurt me more or will it finally make sense of the last 12 years of gut wrenching and supposedly unfounded fears ? As I look more closely and am willing to "see" , I am becoming aware of how this has affected all of us ( our kids too). We both have a long road ahead. I'm not sure if we'll be travelling it together. My goal is to save my kids and save myself from this cycle of dysfunction. I feel like hitting him I'm so angry. And then... in the next breath I can't imagine losing him forever. I just might have to.
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Avatar_m_tn
well i have this problem with porn i guess i watch porn every night i ejaculate to them and when it comes to sex I do enjooy it I just do not produce ejaculant during or after the tiring process I feel as though I must have some kind of problem so I do my daily routine to make sure that this problem is false it is but I have only had 1 orgasm in my life and I was 16 I think every since then nothing well as I have read in many of these comments I would like to know does the 2 weeks waitng period work??  
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Avatar_n_tn
Man I really am happy to see this thread.  I HAVE A SERIOUS ADDICTION TO PORN!  

I am a 28 year old man and I have been watching porn since I was the age of 13, when I discovered I could ejaculate while taking a shower.  Back then I didn't really have the privacy or place to jerk off nor access to porn like I do now. so I would jerk off at night in my room or in the shower because that seemed to be what I thought was a sneaky way of getting away with it.  

In High School I was fat so I didn't really get laid so jerking off became normal and increased sometimes 2-3 times a day.  Once I got to college I had sex and loved it so much i called my dad at 2am to tell him I lost my virginity.  That night changed my life because sex now became a conquest,,,,how many women can I have sex with now....did it once I def can do it again.  And I did, throughout college I prob slept with more women then I would like to admit.  I was feeling myself I lost weight and women were taking interest in me. Then I finally met my ex-girlfriend at age 22 and we dated for the next 5 years.  Our sex life was great my ego got boosted because the woman I loved thought my **** was big.  We had sex all the time.  Then she moved to pursue her career teaching and I stayed back to finish school.  We off and on dated over the next two years and she dated others and so did I.  But I became insecure, I started to think these other men she were dating were more cut then me and had bigger dicks ( they were former college athletes and black...I'm black too but not an athlete)  So after two years of that we got back together because I moved to where she was.  we were back together and we had a great sex life but i still felt I wasn't satisfying her sexually .....I always had in the back of my head, what was her need to date others? We clicked in every other way, I only dated other women because she did.  So I started to watch porn at night before bed. She went to bed before me so it was the perfect time to watch porn.   Sometimes she would want me to come to bed because she wanted sex, but I would always find some kind of work related issue as to why I still needed to be up.

With porn I could jerk off and not feel I was out to prove something and porn wouldn't make me feel inadequate. Eventually she found out what I was doing and got very angry.  She said it hurt and I definitely could understand why. But i couldn't get over my insecurity and I continued to "sneak" (she knew) and jerk off.  Eventually we broke up.  i came home to her ******* another guy which def sent my insecurity to a whole new level.

It has now been a year and some change later and porn has now taken over my life.  At first I was out trying to **** all the girls I could.  I did have a few short relationships but porn just wouldn't let me go.  And to top it off my friend gave me this pill that is supposed to give u a even bigger erection.  Now I have never had a problem with an erection, I always thought my **** reached it full potential.  But this pill made it even harder and my erections lasted longer even though that wasn't a problem either.  And the best thing about this pill was orgasms feel amazing ...full body.  I am hooked, I buy one every 4 days and keep it in my system and jerk off as much as I can.  I mean sometimes 2-3 hours at a time, **** my **** stays hard and i love the stroke of my hand.  I still have sex with girls but cant shake the porn or the pills. Now I am worried that if i stop taking the pills I won't be able to get a full erection  I guess all i can do is try to stop watching porn and buying these pills but I am worried that my sex life will struggle because I think porn and the pill have become an addiction I feel like super **** with the pill and again porn doesn't judge me.  

I guess I wrote this to vent because I don't know who else to discuss this issue with.  I don't want long term problems or to do any damage to myself.  I guess I just need to SAY NO to porn and pills and see what happens. I hope my **** goes back to performing the way it use to because i did get full erections when I was with the woman I loved.  So maybe that may just be it.  Maybe as someone in an earlier thread said "Its just how u see the person u are with"  I do think when in love the sex is the best.
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Avatar_n_tn
Theres not much more i can comment on this, but i will say. I've seen alot of comments over the internet about people whom had to go a couple months without sex for various reasons, thus they turned to porn. When they went back to having sex it just wasn't as good or exciting. They either had sexual problems, or just had trouble still finding sex exciting.

The thing with porn is, there is a mental hurdle as well. First off people won't admit that porn can become addicting, i beg to differ, as many on this site will as well. I have also had friends tell me they have had this problem as well. It is there. Over the past five years internet porn has become more free and acessable, thus more problems for those who watch to much porn. Some studies have been done, some agree porn is an addicition, some do not. In my opinion, and it is just that, my opinion, i believe theyll be more research done and within the next 10 years youll really see that more and more people are going to come to the realization that is is addicting.

Once you admit to yourself your addicted to porn, there are several other things that cross your mind. When can i start watching porn again? Is it ok to just cut back on the porn and watch it on a limited basis? My opinion is you can't, or youll fall right back into your old ways.

The goal is to clear the porn from your head. Like any other bad habit, the only way to do this is with commitment and time. I have broken my porn addiction several times in just a couple weeks. But for whatever reason said to myself, its ok to go back to looking at porn now. Its a mistake. It just pulls you in. Again you have to distance yourself from it. Everytime a porn thought comes up, think of something else quick. As time goes on this becomes easier and easier, and by the time you know it the porn will be a distant memory and everything will feel normal again.

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Avatar_m_tn
I'm a healthy 27 year old male who is very lucky to read all the comments because I can relate AND HAVE FOUND SOLUTIONS thanks to everyone who has written.

I've notice how my erection has decrease significantly when masturbating and viewing sexy woman on porn sites.

Porn is harmful and it will damage your real life experiences.
When I have a girlfriend I don't watch porn because I want HER not the "computer action".  But I think porn is preventing me from having sexual/intimate encounters with real girls.

The real thing is far superior much more powerful then watching porn. Just by watching porn you can get stuck in that lifestyle of NOT WANTING SEX WITH WOMAN IN REAL LIFE.

I'm glad I found this thread and I can relate with EVERYONE plus the WOMAN that have written about their boyfriends/husbands.

If you want to release sexual tension, use your own mind and just breath in and out, relax and make your fantasies reality with yourself. Woman are as sexually active as man too, you don't have to be aggressive and perverted. Enjoy your time with the girl and things will happen if there's a chemistry.  

PLEASE READ AND TELL ME THAT THIS ISN'T TRUE.>>>
Porn will make you:

Be picky about woman.
Ignore woman.
Not treat a woman how she wants.
Not be gentlemen about intimacy.
Degrade woman.
Become Physically unhealthy. (no social life).
Behave and think Immaturely.
Be Un-passionate with females.
Think ONLY about sex when meeting woman and not establishing intelligent and funny conversation. (Not being yourself).


-Take care ya'll. I'll be ignoring pornography and getting sexually active with real girls from this point on.

;)
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Avatar_m_tn
I stumbled across this thread after searching for similar topics. I'm 27, has been watching porn since 13 and started masturbating to it at around 15.

It was around last year that I noticed I had some sings of ED problem during my spontaneous sexual activities. I can get some erection during fellatio, but lost it as soon as I put on the condom. It was really frustrating. My sex drive was there but I just couldn't get it up.

However for planned sexual encounters, I would abstain from sex and porn for about a week to ensure I would have enough libido so to speak. This usually worked, although the erection was not massive, it was certainly sufficient for intercourse. But as expected, the refractory period might be a tad longer before the next session can commence.

So yes, refraining from masturbation (and especially porn) is a proven technique to reduce or even eliminate ED-like problems for guys in the 20s and 30s. This is my goal now.

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Avatar_m_tn
Hi

Its grat to find such a thread

I actually come from my girlfriends house, we tried to hav sex, but I  I couldnt hav a significant erection and could not reach any orgasm. It is worrying me a lot. I am 22 and I hav been masturbating with and no porn for about 7 years, and I hav done this for the past 3 weeks in a more elevated frequency. From all these threads I understand tha wat just happened has to do with that ED thing. I could be having sex again with her in the next 2 days and I was wondering if someone has a quick solution guaranteed to work even tomorrow. And I have learned my lesson no more porn for me.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi

taking Viagra can be a help but be ware of the dosage, if you haven't tried it before take just 10mg but don't get addicted to it . all ED medications have side effect both physically and mentally. you can get rid of physical side effects ( headache, blushing, stomachache) but mental side effects are hard to get rid of. the least amongst them is losing your confidence and get addicted to it where you feel you cant get laid without taking it. so don't use it frequently.
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Avatar_n_tn
Hi everyone!

great thread! i have a very similar case to ejp78 and pocketfours,

I have stopped watching porn/Masturbating since 5 days now

please keep us posted with your progress so far,
thank u!
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Avatar_m_tn
Look here for Rockysoldier's advice

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Erectile-Dysfunction/Scared-to-Death---25-and-Erectile-Problem/show/1156733

I have integrated what both he & Pocketfours have suggested with some success.
B-Complex, Siberian Ginseng, Amidren, & a Multivitamin along with exercise have been great for me.
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Avatar_m_tn
I have experienced some small improvements & I hope it will get even better as I exercise more.
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Avatar_n_tn
Thank you very much my friend, this is truly of a great help :)

you gave valuable information! i'll see what can i get from those vitamins and supplements.

now it's been more a week since i stopped masturbation and porn so here what i have to offer as an update:

-I have wet dreams again, and my penis feels a bit more sensitive.

-My morning wood seems more rigid, though not a satisfying result


and now a bit of advice:


-when you go to the gym or after you go for a jogging, make sure to train your abs, it's good to eliminate any fat on that area, also lift some moderate weight (an iron bar on your shoulder would be great) and then stand straight and go up and down flexing your knees and keeping your spine straight, this will increase bloodflow to the lower part of your body and especially the penile area.

Anyone tried kegels? they seem to work, i just began doing them and from what i've read they label them as "natural viagra"
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Avatar_m_tn
I've been reading this thread for that past two hours and I'm only on the July 2010 posts.

Today will be my 43rd day without MB and, other than a couple of "look at this moments" from friends, I have not watched porn for 47 days.

I haven't been with a woman since I've quit, but I do feel a sense of pride and high-self esteem that I haven't done anything.

When I first started to abstain from everything, I used to get strong urges to want to let one loose. My thing to keep me from doing it was telling myself that it was a weak minded activity and that, as said once already in this forum, real men don't sit hunched over a computer with  thier junk in thier hand, it's not natrual. And another thing that I'm surprised hasn't been mentioned is COLD SHOWERS!!! Whenever I get the urge. I jump in the shower, if i need to I'll fill up the tub and put ice just for the extra kick. in the last 43 days I've only taken 2 or 3 mild to hot showers. Look, wacthing porn is freaking lame. As men we need to dig deep in ourselves and find that animal instinct in looking and atracting women. At the same time act as evolved human beings and treat woman with the upmost respect. Any way thank you for your courage in posting your stories.    
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Avatar_m_tn
I have been married for almost three years and have been with my wife for five.  After our first night together she asked me if she was the best I'd had and I told her that was not a fair question. I was so interested in porn and looking at other woman and fantasizing about them to climax while I was with my wife.  I haven't been with many lovers in my time and I am not a very good lover.   So when past lovers came up my wife asked me if she was the best that I have ever had.  She was, but me feeling like I didn't want her to think I was a bad lover, I  told her she was second fiddle to a girl I only slept with twice. I don't know why I lied to her but I made things worse because I lied about what I had actually done with this girl and gave this other woman credit for being the best lay I have ever had when in reality my wife was the best I have ever had, not to mention the best looking.  I don't know what made me tell my wife these lies but I thought way deep down that if I tried to build this other woman up that somehow my wife would think I was some kind of dynamo  in the sack.  The truth is I am a lousy lover a lousy husband and worst of all a lousy human being.  My wife is still very angry and she has every right to be.  I have hurt her more than I could ever imagine giving someone else her credit when  she has been the best I have ever had.  My erections are weak at times because of the porn and thinking of other woman.  I hate the fact that when I am trying to make love to my wife and trying to focus completely on her and her needs sometimes I go limp.  This is going to take a lot of time and effort in order to fix what I have done. But porn, lies and looking at other women and bringing their images into the bedroom are out. I just hope anyone else who has done anything similar to this please don"t.  Leave the porn, fantasies and other women out of the bedroom and focus on the one you love.  To all with these problems good luck!
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Avatar_f_tn
I am so pleased (well maybe pleased is the wrong word...) to find this but have no idea now how to deal with talking to my guy about it.  I'm only 29 but have been in a marriage and a number of sexual relationships all of which have been great sexually but I have never felt so close and in love as I do with the guy I have been with since the start of the year.  

But I cannot turn him on... my ** and hand job skills are completely useless and for all those guys out there having the same problem he is... not cuming... having to sort himself out whilst I lay there feeling more and more useless... try and find a solution cause I am definitely at the point where despite being crazy about the guy I can't deal with it any longer... my confidence sexually is totally in shatters and I end up in tears after he's fallen asleep each time... I've even spoken to my ex husband for reassurance that it isn't me which is craziness in itself.  I'm not this insecure emotional wreck that this is turning me into... I need to make a bash at speaking to him about it but what can I say? Have no idea how to approach it with him... we just haven't talked about it... it's crazy... 99 per cent sure it's too much masturbation and porn that's the problem cause I know he has a big thing for both and he tries so hard to get turned on enough by me but ends up reverting to making everything as porn-like as possible in desperation... :(  It's turning into a vicous circle cause I now feel so sexually unattractive and unimportant that I'm going to become just that...

I would always have said that sex wasn't a deal breaker in a relationship... I'm starting to think I was wrong :(  
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Avatar_f_tn
first let me say that i think it effects women the same as men when they have other images in their head to get turned on enough to get off during sex with their one and only...

I am in a relationship going on 3 yrs. he has complained that he has problems with his '****' since his early 30's. i calculate that to be roughly when he got such ready access to porn on the internet. he's 47 now. well, there's no real problem with the quality of the sex - at least for me. admittedly, when i discovered he's hard-core into porn (i even figured our his fetishes) - it turned me on more than i ever expected. i wanted to be his ****. and that, i was already. but now its like thats what it takes for him to be able to perform. he is large enough that i get fully stimulated, even when hes soft. but now i think that i know about what he has to think of to get turned on...it kind of makes me feel like i'm not the special one. i have loved him so much its painful. i'm really sick in love. we are both crazy in love. but, this abusive obsession steals him away from real life. he doesnt live with me. we are supposed to move in and get married...what will he do when he can escape to that world anymore? he hasnt spent a night in my home with me in over 4 months, before that it was like 4 months. i really believe its because he cant get away from his addiction. so, its stealing him away from me -- from us. i want to make love to him. i want to be his **** -- but his ONLY ****.

please guys. abstain. give yourself totally and completely to your woman if she is THE ONE. it is very painful. it may very well break us up. he doesnt know this, but i already know everything and he cant admit anything. he wont talk about this -- well, hes not a talker. he always says "you know what you need to know" aka that i love you and youre the one... the old phrase, you can say it all day long but your actions speak louder than words...hahaa. he doesnt speak it, but his actions ...well, u know the rest.

i have sent this blog link to him. he can become a WHOLE man again if he really reads the testimonials and gives it up. you can tell which comments are BS and which ones are serious. Every person should try to abstain.

just give it an honest try for a month. if things are better then what have you got to loose.
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Avatar_n_tn
About a week ago, I poured scrupulously over the comments in this post and found that many of the experiences that were intimated resonated very deeply with my own. At the age of eighteen, I too began a porn regime to self medicate my own insecurities and fear of rejection. Porn was an "easy" escape though at the time I was unaware of the trade off. About 9-12 months later I noticed precisely what others here have as well, that porn had all but dissolved my performance but also interest in real-life sexual relationships.
About a year or so later I attempted to quit porn cold turkey, and after a few unsuccessful tries, I was able to go about 6 months without porn or masturbation. Three months into it I was feeling better than ever, my need for human intimacy and social contact were at the level of my teenage years. It's like all those stories you'd hear from people "when I was a teen and my hormones were ragin' ect. this was in my early twenties though.
Sadly I once again fell into my addictive cycle but the good news is that I new my sexual energy and virility can and will return once I "dried" up.
Flash forward to a week ago, upon reading all of the wonderful and inspiring comments I have once again given up this unhealthy addiction. One thing that I would like to add to this discussion that I think was only talked around but not taken on directly is the reasons we are finding ourselves in this position. It's easy to simply blame the pornographers for marketing this product but the reality is that all of us most likely have underlying issues that gave us a propensity toward this affliction. Whether it was that we lacked intimacy, or had a fear of rejection, social isolation, insecure about our bodies or some aspect of our physiognomy the point is no matter what the issue until you address the underlying root you have essentially handicapped yourself to freeing yourself from this addiction. Find the underlying cause that drove you to a false intimacy and getting rid of this addiction will be easier as well as STAYING  away from this addiction.

Also I have find a psychologist who writes extensively about this topic and I highly encourage anyone to take the time read over her work and incorporate it into your recovery. She doesn't make this a moral issue or preach a "fire and brimstone" style scare approach but highlight what gets missed when we substitute real intimacy for pornography.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201003/porn-goes-performance-goes-down

Anyone who wishes to have a fufilling long-term relationship or at least any actual relationships should check into this, find someone you can talk to and share your story and do anything and everything to break this addiction and solve your underlying issue. There's absolutely no reason to live a life you weren't meant to live and yes you may have wasted some time in your life but the past happens to us all, just continue to look FORWARD. I wish everyone the best and I will as well post updates from time to time on my progress!!!
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Avatar_m_tn
People, take this very seriously.  I am in the same spot as all of you have been.  I have been pretty chronically handling myself for the past 15 years.  The god damn intetnet got faster and so did I.  It ruined just about every relationship I've ever had.  About 6 years ago I met the love of my life.  I was able to stop for about 6 months, during the beginning of our relationship.  It was the most fantastic six months of my life.  Then I got back into porn and it slowly went downhill.  We stayed together, even though I wasn't ever able to perform, which just made her feel like she was an ugly duckling.  One day I truly felt like I was losing her to this obsession, so I decided the only thing to do would be ask for her hand in marriage to keep this wonderful woman in my life.  She happily agreed and we wed the next year.

Well...it's bee a little more than one year into our marriage and she has had enough.  She has been fighting for years to keep us together and have a healthy sex life, but I have been too close-minded to realize that this would end up costing me the only thing that really ever meant anything in my life.  She quickly started making new friends and meeting new people.  I'm no dummy, so I caught on to her having a new male friend fairly quickly and brought it up to her this morning.  It's too late.  My beautiful bride is done with me.  She has fallen out of love and I'm out on my own.  This is the worst feeling I've ever had and it's not worth it for anyone.

Listen to my warning...this could happen to everyone that's posted anything on this site...don't be that person...
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Avatar_m_tn
33 year old male speaking here.

The BOTTOMLINE IS THIS...

1) Refrain from porn PERIOD... It's not reality.
2) Refrain from other adult sites too. Some of you know websites where you watch women get naked on their webcams for free. Thats not good either! Also refrain from phonesex or webcam sex, anything that makes you touch yourself instead of a woman.

3) If you're circumcised, you probably been desensitizing your penis for years. Wear a condom at night, cut off the tip so you can pee and do this for a month. This will protect your penis from rubbing up against your bedsheets. This will also stop you from masturbating at night. This will also help you gain back sensitivity in your penis so you can go back to enjoying real sex AND WITH A CONDOM.

4) Stay away from touching your penis PERIOD. You programmed your brain to think an orgasm is more pleasureable with your hands instead of a woman's touch. That's not good! You need to re-programmed your brain. I tried this for a month and it felt so GOOD when a woman touched my penis. I thought I was being molested LOL.

5) If you do need to masturbate, do it once a week. If you do masturbate, use only your thumb and index finger. Stimulate the head by just rubbing on it up and down but never grip your whole penis head with your hand JUST THE THUMB AND INDEX. AND ALWAYS USE SOME LUBRICATION FOR THE STIMULATION. DON'T RUB DRY!!

Do all of this for like a month and you will see improvements with your erections and penis sensitivity.
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Avatar_m_tn
I think this thread may have saved my sex life.  I recently came to the conclusion that an addiction to porn and masturbation had effectively killed my sex life with my wife.  I stopped on September first of this year and am determined to get my groove back.

There are a lot of reasons this happens to us, but we all end up in the same situation.  For me, my wife began to experience chronic health issues that halted our sex life for months at a time.  I turned more and more to porn and masturbation.  Now that she is healthy enough for sex, I have no desire to do it with a "real" woman.  I cleaned out my computer of every single picture and video.  I packed up all my DVDs and locked everything up in a safe.  I hope someday to just throw the whole thing away.  I intend to go a month without any sexual activity of any kind then see what happens.  When I have proven that I can live without it, I will reintroduce masturbation (no porn) and sex back into my life at a reasonable rate.  Once or twice a week seems normal to me considering I was doing it 5 or 6 times a day on my worse days.

Thank you so much, all of you, for sharing your stories.  A great weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi all,

31 y.o. guy here with the same story as all of you. But, I think I am getting my groove back and here is how :

1) absolutely STOP watching hardcore porn. If you must watch girls, watch really softcore stuff. The idea is that your brain needs to build the fantasies himself. Anyway, watch as little porn as possible altogether.

2) get OUT. Cut your intimacy moments. Join a team. Find a job. Do something where it is impossible for you to wank and if possible, where there is a little bit of competitive spirit.

3) with your girl : tell her. Get a girl who is willing to take her time. Tell her you might not be able to be super hard or have an orgasm at first, that it might take time. She will understand. It doesn't stop you from pleasuring her with your hands, mouth, voice... Take this as an opportunity to be the sweetest guy she's ever been with. Take things gradually. Put the lights out, all of them. Instead of focusing on the visual, focus on the sensation. Close your eyes and let go. Use your imagination to visualize the girl. If there is something kinky you'd like to do with her, keep it in mind. Try to build up fantasies in your mind.

This has worked for me. Yesterday, I had the biggest orgasm of my life, and I hadn't been able to perform in a while. I couldn't even come anymore. I can't say that I'm 100% where I used to be now, but I'm sure we can. We just need to stop being spoiled brats. We need to deserve the sex we have, and fantasize over it. After all, for all living beings, reproduction is the ultimate victory, so it is meant to be challenging. Keep it as such.

Good luck to you all!
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Thank you guys...your stories are exactly what I am going through..I had ED for two years (I am 27 now)..masturbated on the average 3-4 times a day since I was 15..never had problems, and never had much experience with women until I was 18..no problems, I could do both women and constant masturbation..until I went on a long period of work-12 hours a day, and no interaction with women for 9 months or so...and of course masturbating relaxed me and made me feel good..until it was time to perform again with a woman...BAM-complete failure!!
The ED I am experiencing can be coupled with extreme ability NOT to concentrate on the women I am with...I am totally spaced out. This of course has lead to performance anxiety..So the cycle emerging is- Too much porn, become desensitized just to porn and your TOUCH, when your with a woman-she doesn't excite you-not the slightest, next you develop performance anxiety because of the failure to achieve an erection during a hot and heavy session...go back to porn where you can easily get an erection, to how many women you want, feeling relieved! Have I described it in good detail?
With this porn induced ED, at least for me, I have lost all ability to achieve spontaneous erections, not a single one...morning wood disappears for months on end, feel no sensation when grinding with women, feel nothing seeing a nude woman in a strip club or when she even hints at sex..nothing at all...but behold I can only get an erection when I TOUCH myself and only when I touch MYSELF..Anyone exactly fall in this type of lifestyle?
Again, I would like to thank everyone for their honesty..feels GREAT to know I am not the only one...Bless you all
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I'm in the same boat. been watching porn since 14, urologist says all tests are ok, it's psychological. Only time i was able to have sex successfully was during my brief marriage and now looking back at it the times i had spontaneous erections during that time were probably after abstaining from porn. Although the idea of my partner watching porn with me is great, i realise this can not be a reality for me, i have to abstain and get back to having a 'real' relationship enjoying life and two way intimacy, not watching it on a screen.  I realised i had the problem about 4 months ago. My first attempt to abstain lasted about 11 days.  7 days ago i started again, after 2 or 3 days i notice i was feeling hornier in the mornings and the erections were harder, but sometimes i feel like MBing but i just dont have any libido, it's almost like its a mechanical desire to do it but the **** just stays limp. Which is good as i remember why i started this journey, hopefully after 2 months i can have the confidence to further a relationship in 'real life'.

I wanted to post so i have somwhere to be accountable to if i fall of the wagon. i know i must give porn up for life as i'm missing the joys of life that i should be enjoying without anxiety...

will post again hopefully at the end of 2 months of abstaining.
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PS i'm now 35.
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Just wanted to let everyone know there are a bunch of sites dedicated to this sort of thing. One that i have found the most helpful is called reuniting.info. Its all about MB and P addiction. Go on this site, there is a ton of info for you. Just use the search feature, if you'd like to you can post (although i don't). Still there are alot of others that go through this.

Also to the people abstaining. Yes its true its the only way to get better. I have read stories of people abstaining and getting better in as little as 2 weeks, but some take a couple months. Don't get frustrated, stick to the plan.

The important thing is leave the porn out forever. And at least initially leave the MB alone for a couple weeks, give your body a chance to heal. If you do go back to MB only do it once or twice a week using ur imagination.
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Thanks pocketfours,

I will take a look, there is also once called candeocan.com but it appears to be a pay site, i knew it wouldn't be long before someone started taking advantage of people in this position, hopefully reuniting.info is free.

How are you getting on, whereabouts are you on the road to recovery?

Thank you (and others) for your support
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Why you shouldn't masterbait to porn.
1. It can shrink your penis, and make you loose erection during intercourse.
2. It "desensitizes" you to the real thing.
3. every time you ejaculate, you loose zinc. This is used in brain function.
4. Porn can be addicting. some people masterbait 4 times a day, and this causes erectile disfunction.
5. How do you think God feels about it. I bet God wants to puke every time someone masterbaits to porn.
Do it the Natural way, Fantasizing. Although some people think porn is the only thing that gets them horney they are wrong. After not watching porn for a couple weeks, your mind clears, and more things turn you on.
You should masterbait 3 times a week, without porn ever.
So the next time you find yourself on the verge of looking up porn, think to yourself, "What would jesus do?"  
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It's been close to a month, and I've only had two slip-ups, I have also noticed a marked increase in my overall sex drive and am looking forward to further gains. I'm happy with my progress and I understand that I will have slip ups occasionally but the point is to not get discouraged or use it as an excuse to slip back into old routines an addictions.
About a month from now I will again post and will hopeful have more good news about my overall progress. I plan on "rewarding" myself if I can make it to Halloween without masturbation, internet porn, pictures ect. (the reward won't be any of the former)
I wish you all the best on your quest and I still believe we can make it and beat this addiction!!!
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I have to say that you gentlemen have probably saved me from years of future pain and mental anguish that will result from continuing with these two unhealthy habits.  I have gone one week without doing either action, and I stumbled on this post last night.  I feel like I should give my testimonial in hopes that it might help someone else out there loose themselves from these negative habits:

I discovered M on my own when I was about 11.  It felt good so I thought ... "let's do it as much as possible".  At the minimum, I did it first thing in the morning and last thing before going to sleep to fantasizing only.  Then when I was 13, I discovered P for the first time.  It made my M experience even "better", so I started using P with it.  I had a few VHS tapes that I collected it on.  I evolved into magazines after that, and I used both of them daily.  Whenever my folks would go out, I would immediately get into M & P before they got back.  It came to a point where I would sometimes do it as much as 4x a day, and nothing seemed wrong with it since I was not sexually active.  

By college, I had boxes full of mags and P videos.  I even had a few roommates that discovered my collection and I felt no shame or guilt because of it.  I was too zoned in to care.  Then I met my first girlfriend who I was sexually active with.  I was able to share her with my M & P.  The only thing was that I could never “finish” with her no matter how hard I tried.  I reasoned that it was mental because I did not want to get her pregnant, and I continued with my M & P.

I started having intimacy issues with another girlfriend.  In fact, one day I just could not get it up when I was around her.  However, when I was in my M & P, I had no issues whatsoever.  Without knowing it, I had conditioned myself to be into the fantasy more than reality.  In fact, when these issues started to occur, it was right around the same time that my habit evolved into DVDs and internet P.  These struggles continued for years with other women, but I always rationalized a way to continue my M & P because I was hooked.

About one year ago, I started to recognize that the M & P WAS the reason I felt desensitized when I was with sexy, beautiful, real world women.  But I still could not stop.  Then I met someone who I am very into.  To date, I have not been able to perform around her at all unless I stimulate myself, which is what I have conditioned myself to do because of my M & P.  That was the last straw.

Right now, I am seeking help both online and in the real world.  Some have mentioned CandeoCan.com on this post.  It is a premium service, but it has gone a long way to help me understand what happens to the human body when you are hooked to M & P, and from my past experiences and behaviors, it ALL makes sense to me.  The strategies they use may seem too simple and too good to be true, but it has helped me tremendously in dealing with my urges so far, so I do recommend it (and no, I have neither an employee of CandeoCan nor have I been paid to say this).  

In closing, M & P IS addictive and it IS detrimental to men’s sexual health.  There are too many stories out there that are the same as mine for this to be merely a coincidence.  This is a real problem.  It is no different than being addicted to alcohol or drugs; P addiction is a chemical thing that involves your brain, which makes it difficult to break away from but not impossible.  I am on the road to doing it, and I encourage anyone reading this with a similar experience to do the same.  I will update people on my progress, and I wish the best of luck to others out there on the same odyssey as I am.

J.B.  
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I'm 33. I am also having same problem to get enough sexual arousal during sexual intercourse but able to have hard erection when maturbation while watching the porn. When i was ard 20 something, i kind of addict to porn website. Now i have problem with real sex life. My body is perfectly normal and able to have morning wood and erection while sleep. It is the NPT which indicate the body is normally function. Porn is definitely can poison our mind in long run. Our Mind is upmost important to stimulate the release of hormone from pituatry gland through neutrotrasmitter. If our brain is being stimulated by unrealistic porn/women in long run, it will "capture" the image and action of the porn. It make us more harder to stimulated sexually in real life. It is nothing wrong with the physical condition of our body or penis. It is the mind should be "cleaned up". Try to stop watching porn and try to image have sex with your girl friend or wife while maturbation to generate interest back on your sex partner. Remember don't maturbation too much.
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Hi Jonas,

Thank you for your testimonial. If you wish to help others (as i'm sure you do).  Perhaps you can elaborate on the following statement

"The strategies they use may seem too simple and too good to be true, but it has helped me tremendously in dealing with my urges so far"

I would not recommend anyone spending their money on a site like that (candeo con) if they can avoid it. I find it morally repugnant and anyone already on that site should share the information if it is that useful, if not, i think it's safe to assume the information is not worth sharing much less worth paying for.

There are plenty of free sites on the net regarding impotence.  As already stated on here, abstinence appears to be the best way forward, my erections are getting stronger and more lasting (its been 2 weeks without P or M), but i think it will be at least 2 months may be a lot more before i am 'cured'.  There is no quick fix to this (other than our favourite blue pill) and i will see out the time as a reminder to how dangerous watching P is. I don't want to have to spend months again going through this.

I will keep you all posted.
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It started slowly by watching the clips which some of my work mates had at job. on one of the clips there was a porn website, which I took and when at home, due to curiosity opened the website and started to  watch porn. At first it was disgusting and I vowed never to watch porn again, but after sometime I found some compulsion to go and watch in detail the same porn which was disgusting. From there on everything has been going from bad to worse. I dont know what to do. Am single person working as a programmer. I just dont know what to do. Am of the idea I get a girlfriend or a scrap internet connection to my home. Lol God help me am in a mess. Hope in life somethings you wish and they are. I could wish I stop watching porn forever, its taking my time and it killing me

Its late at night and I have just finished watching porn and mustabated twice. What should i do?

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My story is similar to many of yours.  For the last 2-3 years I've seen my use of M & P over the real thing increase more and more.  Over the last 6 months I've had about 3-4 real life sexual encounters and while having no problem getting hard I can't complete the act without becoming completely flaccid.  I'd attribute it to various things alcohol, anxiety (at times probably a valid factor), etc.  In the end though I know the culprit is M & P.  Some of you have already mentioned this; after a while the same P doesn't bring me the same satisfaction and I began looking for harder material.  The M has all but made me numb (literally and figuratively) to actual intercourse.  Every woman is going to feel loose compared to your hand.  
After running into this forum I'm now on day #15 of complete abstinence, my goal is 3 months...I'm scared even this won't cure my ED but we'll see.
FYI, I'm a physician myself and what you all say is true, this problem has yet to be fully recognized nor is it addressed in the medical community to the best of my knowledge.  Perhaps psychiatrists are seeing it more but I know I have not nor are urologists for that matter (And I don't have much contact with psychiatrists during work).
One final word, day #11 and 12 were the most difficult thus far, I think it is what a smoker or drug seeker feels in withdrawal as I felt like I had actual physiologic symptoms during those days of 'needing' to masturbate.  Coming back and reading this forum really helps me stay on track, will post again with updates of progress.  Good luck to everyone else trying to fight this problem and please keep posting, it really helps.
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Hi,

I sensed a bit of guilt and self-punishment in your words, hope it's just me (over)interpreting   your message, anyways i just wanted to let you know, as well as others that i lived this kind of rejection ;

I was in love with a girl, and everything went fine, but after i told her about my problem, she kept getting away from me , and that was devastating i must confess, seeing that she was already out with someone else. After that i stayed one year alone! and i was getting deeper into solitude and i had to make a choice, either sink or rise

And i started flirting with girls again, eventually ;) and after some time together i exposed the matter to one of them, and she was very supportive and willing to help!! i was really surprised, and another girl guessed on her own, that i had a problem and said that those things happen to girls too (porn addiction,sexual dysfunction, lack of sex-drive) and was willing to help too!

The point that i'm trying to make is that your girl/ex-wife wasn't the woman you needed, cause there is more to life than just screwing,

Also, all you people refraining from masturbating to porn are doing things in half, and that's why most of us collapse back into that vicious circle of P and M.

The Solution is simple; you should behave like nature was meant to be, stopping porn is really great and i congratulate you, but you'll still be consuming yourself and feeling guilty, so you should go out and talk to girls, meet and date girls, trust me this is a level you'll be crossing sooner or later and is essential.

Of course you won't tell a girl you just met about the problem but once your relationship gets more intimate, you can confess to her ;)

See, you have to realize how much life is grandiose and that all of this wil eventually end, me , you, the girls of porn, those fears that haunt us, those moments of hope and laughter, those deceptions and broken hearts, we'll fade away so instead of waiting in your dark corner, why don't you try, why don't you try...?

Best of luck
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Wow! I am so glad i found this as well! I am a 21 year old women, and my boyfriend hasn't "Completed the task" in several months! Today i actually skipped school to come home to pleasure him and surprise him and i walked on him AGAIN masterbating (masturbating) to porn! This has happened a lot latley! I was so embarrassed i went and took a long shower to avoid the situation! I dunno how to tell him how this makes me feel about how his addiction is effecting me< and him as well! Any suggestions guys? :)
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I'm sorry that both you and he have found yourselves in the predicament you both are in. First in foremost, I want to let you know not to "blame" him for this problem, speaking from experience, and reading many of the experiences of others, many of us (and most likely your boyfriend too) were not aware of how pornography can affect a person's sex drive and relationship. Society tells us that it's "ok" for men to use this and we aren't told of the unintended consequences. I know that if I had of known I never would have watched even a millisecond to begin with!
That being said, you most likely will have to make a choice, you can bring this to his attention however the reality is that unless HE recognizes that he has a problem, and the trade off between porn and reality are far to great he will not be able to leave this cycle. He will continue to convince himself that the porn isn't the problem or that he can quit whenever he feels like it or worse blame you for his inability to perform.
Now comes the tough choice for you, you must decide is the loss of intimacy enough to terminate the relationship or do you want to stay and see if things can work themselves out or that he comes around. You know him best and your situation better than anyone else so the choice is completely up to you. However I will say this, tough love ie. you leaving him; may work as a wake up call that he needs to recognize his problem. But if you do make a decision such as that you must be fully committed to following completely through.

I wish you the best, and I'm sorry both you and he find yourselves in this difficult situation which neither of you deserve.
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Hey there> Thanks a lot for your opinion i really appreciate it! I've decided i really need to just talk to him about it, and not pressure him or anything but just let him know how i feel, and that porn does have consequences. Then, It's is his hands how he wants to handle it...but, i'll be along for the ride no matter what. I think i have some things to think about myself, and not take it so personal. :)
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thank you thank you thank you for this page.

i have been masturbating almost daily for the past 6 years.

when i was in bed with a girl i couldnt get an erection. I am kept on thinking about the women in those porn videos. my girlfriend could tell i had a problem...heck,I knew I had a problem. But I was in complete denial. The porn watchdogs should make these guys put up a disclaimer just like on cigarette packs about the harmful effects of porn addiction.

I have been through hell in the past 6 years because of this. couldnt maintain a steady relationship with any girl.

This page has been a life saver. I am slowly healing now. Getting better by each passing day.

My advice to every one who is addicted. Dont give up. Your head will slowly start phasing out the images and you will eventually..may be in a couple of months may be more... start getting proper erections.

I will let you guys know about my progress in the next few weeks.
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Day #20 today of no M & P.  It's getting a bit easier now, from the beginning I knew I could make it to 3 months and as of now I still believe it, guess it's all about willpower.  Day #10/11 for some reason were still the hardest days to get over as I thought on those 2 days I would succumb to the urges.  I've noticed I have more energy, I'm more affable around people in general, and have stronger morning erections.  With that said getting morning erections or getting erections to M & P were never really the problem, the real test is when I'm actually with a woman I care about....not gonna let that happen for 90 days though.  I'm scared what would happen if I did get into that situation at least in the next few weeks...and if after 90 days I still can't complete sex I think I'll be going to a specialist of some sort.

I feel like I'm going to just follow Pockefours suggestions that he has posted.  Probably not to a tee, for instance I won't allow myself to M in like he did toward the latter month.

My main concern is I've just desensitized myself for good, when I'm having sex I just don't feel much sensation from vaginal intercourse (I'm associating it with too much M).  Also I tend to get bored quickly (This I associate with P).  After all, while watching P, if I get bored there are a million other girls and vids waiting for you on the 'net.  :(

I tried to quit last year as well but failed, this forum really is the catalyst I needed.  Good luck to everyone and thanks again for sharing your stories.  Funny thing is, still having had a wet dream...good thing b/c I don't want my brain getting any more dopamine/NE surges for a while!!
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That last comment is supposed to read *still NOT having wet dreams*
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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marnia-robinson/no-porn-no-viagra_b_489194.html

I think this is worth the read...you'll have to individually judge the article, but it is along the lines of this discussion.
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Keep up the good work everyone! On day 11 I just had a wet dream..does anyone know if this would interfere with my recovery in any way...I know I cannot stop it now since I stopped the P & M, but does anyone have experience with this? Its true, around day 10/11 its pretty hard..but it does get easier eventually! Remember everyone, your not alone! ;)
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It has been a full month since I've found this article and began a porn/masturbation free life, though I've had three slip-ups as previously reported I have also seen a marked increase overall in my sexuality and virility. To everyone who is embarking on this quest I wish you all the best, though it's only been a month I can definitely tell that my brain is once again rewiring itself more toward the sexual excitement that I once felt back in junior high and high school (there's a reason we never forget those young teenage affairs, the hormones the lack of desensitization ect.)
I still think I have a bit more to go (I plan on fufilling the entire 90 days) and am looking to even greater returns, the best part so far has been just the fact that the previous "numbness" to life is slowly subsiding.
And to BLOATS: in my experience the wet dreams have not affected my recovery so long as your not masturbating and are avoiding porn if anything they are a good sign that your body and mind are seeking other more normative forms of excitement, you should be fine. I wish you the best on your journey!
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If you truly care about the one you are with I suggest a few things.  First, direct him to this site so he can see that it is more common than he may realize, and this should also clue him in to how serious of an issue this is for you. Next, when you are fooling around, treat his penis more like he treats it, at least at first. Yes, he should respond to the idea of being intimate with you and get rock hard at your gentle touch, but that will take time for him to adjust.  Be a little rougher than you normally would, excuse the vulgarity, but suck it like a pro and smack it around a bit.  In this way he will subconsciously and consciously associate YOU with arousal, instead of porn and his own hand.  You can gradually tone it back down to the gentleness that is characteristic of women, as long as he is abstaining from porn/ mb.

Next, you may want to initiate sex more often.  This will put him on notice that you may desire him at any moment and he needs to be ready, so he will think twice about jerking off, whether he is honest with you or not.  This IS curable as long as there is not some other ED health issue, but you need to communicate with each other.

Abstaining from MB is working for me and I am beginning to start to get an erection by just lying down and kissing, which hasn't happened for me in a decade or so (I'm 38).  I was also able to perform twice in as many hours the other night, so things are definitely improving.  I have a VERY understanding girlfriend and I truly believe that to be integral to my recovery.  I have relapsed a couple of times and MB'd to porn, and I always feel bad afterwords.  I sincerely believe that I am close to being able to abstain for good.

Guys, if you are spiritual at all this may help: whenever you want to MB think about God, or the spirits of your loved ones, etc, and if they actually do visit on us in this world!  Also think about destroying your relationship, or if your relationship has already ended I can guarantee a big part of the problem, even if she didn't come right out and say it, is your ED!
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I'm a 38 year old male. I've NEVER had a relationship with a woman before or had sex in my life, not for lack of trying, but because no-one has ever wanted to be anything more than friends. Women seem to almost freak at the thought of being romantic or that I could even have a romantic interest in them. I have never even kissed a girl. It has been a hard, lonely time, and while I try to be very social and go to lots of parties, it just becomes an endless string of social activities that feels empty at the end of the day because there's nothing ever meaningful that comes out of it.

As I am extremely lonely (and understandably have lost confidence and self esteem), naturally I have turned to porn to take away some of the pain and loneliness. I don't think it's a viable solution, but because I have nothing else at the moment, and there is no future on the horizon with any woman, this is what I've used to dull the pain. I probably am addicted and have progressed onto increasingly hardcore material featuring penetration, oral sex, lesbian activity etc. There have been times when I've often felt preoccupied during masturbation and started to feel sad or depressed and can't continue. There was this one porn star who also reminded me of a girl I really liked. I was masturbating to her because, in a way, it brought me closer to her (or so I thought) but in the end it actually had a detrimental effect. Not only could I not see the real girl as anything other than a porn star, but I also began feeling quite sad whenever I was masturbating to the porn star because it reminded me of the girl I liked (who had rejected me), and I had to quit because I couldn't maintain an erection or have an orgasm while looking at her.

So far though, I've always managed to be able to masturbate to orgasm and to maintain some level of an erection. However, in the last couple of weeks or so, I seem to have lost my ability to maintain one completely. I don't get an erection at all when watching porn and the images just pass by in front of me as if nothing is going on. My mind feels numb and  sometimes  the porn even acts as a kind of anaesthetic that lulls me to sleep or at least makes me incapable of thinking. It also seems to drain my energy and, for want of a better phrase, my life force. It's almost as if all the energy and life has been sucked out of me by a vampire.

This really came to a head last night. In the past week I've ventured into the the area of live sex chat shows. I've tended to just chat to the girls first rather than asking them to induldge in any sexual behaviour. Somehow I've wanted to get to know them as people first and just have normal conversations with them, although there's always this slight sexual element. With this live sex chat, you have this option to have a private, one-on-one session with them in which they will indulge your deepest fantasies and will perform for you. Anyway, I decided that I would finally try one of those out with a girl on there that I liked and found very sweet, bubbly and personable in comparison to some of the other girls on there who seemed totally dead and lifeless. Had I known her in real life in a different context, would've quite liked to have been friends with her. So I went into this private live sex chat with her and told her my name and asked her to use it often while performing and make out as if she was actually having sex with me. This would've been the "closest" I  had ever gotten to having any kind of sexual activity with another woman. Well, needless to say, she did perform and used my name as if to make it more personalised. However, I just couldn't get an erection and even when I occasionally did, I had trouble maintaining it and even coming to orgasm at all. I have to say that her performance was less hardcore than some of these porn videos I've downloaded before. She was relatively tame by comparison (although she was completely naked) and the experience was more about just interacting with another girl while masturbating (or trying to). I thought the experience would be extremely exciting and would make me even more aroused, especially since, unlike any other standard porn video, this one  is more personal and the girl was doing it just for me (and giving the illusion that she was being intimate with me). However, it just didn't work. I don't know how it would've been if it had been more hardcore, but this was a more "real" experience for me (although of course, completely fake) but even here I couldn't maintain an erection and felt completely inadequate.

I feel I have become totally desensitised to porn and nothing seems to excite me anymore. I still have this strange compulsion to wanting to see more porn even though I know that it won't satisfy. I don't want to be addicted, and I would much rather have a completely non-sexual and meaningful date and conversation with a real life girl than watch porn any day.

I am sure it is partly as a result of porn, I can't relate to women. However, I don't think this is completely the case. I can relate to them, but I want to relate on a deeper level, not on a superficial one with the standard "hi, how are you" etc and only talking about what we've been up to during the week rather than something of more substance. I also think it's a vicious circle. It's because I've felt so rejected and shunned that have become hooked on porn, as this is not what I want for my life. However, because of porn, it also now makes it harder with women.

I haven't reached a solution or breakthrough yet, but thought I would share my struggles. Porn defintely does desensitise you and can cause ED. Even in my first "sexual encounter" albeit with a porn star, I couldn't even perform.
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I just wanted to add that with the girl on the live sex chat (in my post above), although she might be classed as a porn star, was really just a girl who was doing this for a job to earn a living, so not a porn star per se. She didn't seem like a fully fledged porn star like you might find on these videos, but much more amateur. I tried to get her to act like a porn star, but she acted more like a girl you might know (perhaps one's girlfriend) trying to act like a porn star but needing to be told to make orgasmic noises etc. Maybe I have become too conditioned to hearing and getting off with these fake orgasmic sounds and really hardcore stuff. So now when I even engage with a girl in chat who doesn't naturally do that sort of stuff, I can't seem to get an erection because I'm used to the more extreme material.
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New Cannabis Article from NORTH Mag...
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3 Reasons Why You are Still Binge E...
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Emotional Eating: What Your Closet ...
Jul 09 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top Men's Health Answerers
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solace21
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bobdylan1958
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remar
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Dalubaba
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