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Too much porn/masturbation cause ED?
Hi I m a 28 year old and suffer some degree of ED in recent. I start masturbated since I m 19 and usually use porn as a form of visual stimiulation. I have observed that I have lost the ability to maintain erect during intercource or I only get weak erection. My question is: does masturbation in association with porn will "exhaust" my interest towards sex and create a negative impact on my ability to get aroused in real sex? I m worried cause I think I m still young to have physical cause  for ED. Any thought?
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Wow! I am so glad i found this as well! I am a 21 year old women, and my boyfriend hasn't "Completed the task" in several months! Today i actually skipped school to come home to pleasure him and surprise him and i walked on him AGAIN masterbating to porn! This has happened a lot latley! I was so embarrassed i went and took a long shower to avoid the situation! I dunno how to tell him how this makes me feel about how his addiction is effecting me< and him as well! Any suggestions guys? :)
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I'm sorry that both you and he have found yourselves in the predicament you both are in. First in foremost, I want to let you know not to "blame" him for this problem, speaking from experience, and reading many of the experiences of others, many of us (and most likely your boyfriend too) were not aware of how pornography can affect a person's sex drive and relationship. Society tells us that it's "ok" for men to use this and we aren't told of the unintended consequences. I know that if I had of known I never would have watched even a millisecond to begin with!
That being said, you most likely will have to make a choice, you can bring this to his attention however the reality is that unless HE recognizes that he has a problem, and the trade off between porn and reality are far to great he will not be able to leave this cycle. He will continue to convince himself that the porn isn't the problem or that he can quit whenever he feels like it or worse blame you for his inability to perform.
Now comes the tough choice for you, you must decide is the loss of intimacy enough to terminate the relationship or do you want to stay and see if things can work themselves out or that he comes around. You know him best and your situation better than anyone else so the choice is completely up to you. However I will say this, tough love ie. you leaving him; may work as a wake up call that he needs to recognize his problem. But if you do make a decision such as that you must be fully committed to following completely through.

I wish you the best, and I'm sorry both you and he find yourselves in this difficult situation which neither of you deserve.
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Hey there> Thanks a lot for your opinion i really appreciate it! I've decided i really need to just talk to him about it, and not pressure him or anything but just let him know how i feel, and that porn does have consequences. Then, It's is his hands how he wants to handle it...but, i'll be along for the ride no matter what. I think i have some things to think about myself, and not take it so personal. :)
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thank you thank you thank you for this page.

i have been masturbating almost daily for the past 6 years.

when i was in bed with a girl i couldnt get an erection. I am kept on thinking about the women in those porn videos. my girlfriend could tell i had a problem...heck,I knew I had a problem. But I was in complete denial. The porn watchdogs should make these guys put up a disclaimer just like on cigarette packs about the harmful effects of porn addiction.

I have been through hell in the past 6 years because of this. couldnt maintain a steady relationship with any girl.

This page has been a life saver. I am slowly healing now. Getting better by each passing day.

My advice to every one who is addicted. Dont give up. Your head will slowly start phasing out the images and you will eventually..may be in a couple of months may be more... start getting proper erections.

I will let you guys know about my progress in the next few weeks.
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Day #20 today of no M & P.  It's getting a bit easier now, from the beginning I knew I could make it to 3 months and as of now I still believe it, guess it's all about willpower.  Day #10/11 for some reason were still the hardest days to get over as I thought on those 2 days I would succumb to the urges.  I've noticed I have more energy, I'm more affable around people in general, and have stronger morning erections.  With that said getting morning erections or getting erections to M & P were never really the problem, the real test is when I'm actually with a woman I care about....not gonna let that happen for 90 days though.  I'm scared what would happen if I did get into that situation at least in the next few weeks...and if after 90 days I still can't complete sex I think I'll be going to a specialist of some sort.

I feel like I'm going to just follow Pockefours suggestions that he has posted.  Probably not to a tee, for instance I won't allow myself to M in like he did toward the latter month.

My main concern is I've just desensitized myself for good, when I'm having sex I just don't feel much sensation from vaginal intercourse (I'm associating it with too much M).  Also I tend to get bored quickly (This I associate with P).  After all, while watching P, if I get bored there are a million other girls and vids waiting for you on the 'net.  :(

I tried to quit last year as well but failed, this forum really is the catalyst I needed.  Good luck to everyone and thanks again for sharing your stories.  Funny thing is, still having had a wet dream...good thing b/c I don't want my brain getting any more dopamine/NE surges for a while!!
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That last comment is supposed to read *still NOT having wet dreams*
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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marnia-robinson/no-porn-no-viagra_b_489194.html

I think this is worth the read...you'll have to individually judge the article, but it is along the lines of this discussion.
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Keep up the good work everyone! On day 11 I just had a wet dream..does anyone know if this would interfere with my recovery in any way...I know I cannot stop it now since I stopped the P & M, but does anyone have experience with this? Its true, around day 10/11 its pretty hard..but it does get easier eventually! Remember everyone, your not alone! ;)
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It has been a full month since I've found this article and began a porn/masturbation free life, though I've had three slip-ups as previously reported I have also seen a marked increase overall in my sexuality and virility. To everyone who is embarking on this quest I wish you all the best, though it's only been a month I can definitely tell that my brain is once again rewiring itself more toward the sexual excitement that I once felt back in junior high and high school (there's a reason we never forget those young teenage affairs, the hormones the lack of desensitization ect.)
I still think I have a bit more to go (I plan on fufilling the entire 90 days) and am looking to even greater returns, the best part so far has been just the fact that the previous "numbness" to life is slowly subsiding.
And to BLOATS: in my experience the wet dreams have not affected my recovery so long as your not masturbating and are avoiding porn if anything they are a good sign that your body and mind are seeking other more normative forms of excitement, you should be fine. I wish you the best on your journey!
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If you truly care about the one you are with I suggest a few things.  First, direct him to this site so he can see that it is more common than he may realize, and this should also clue him in to how serious of an issue this is for you. Next, when you are fooling around, treat his penis more like he treats it, at least at first. Yes, he should respond to the idea of being intimate with you and get rock hard at your gentle touch, but that will take time for him to adjust.  Be a little rougher than you normally would, excuse the vulgarity, but suck it like a pro and smack it around a bit.  In this way he will subconsciously and consciously associate YOU with arousal, instead of porn and his own hand.  You can gradually tone it back down to the gentleness that is characteristic of women, as long as he is abstaining from porn/ mb.

Next, you may want to initiate sex more often.  This will put him on notice that you may desire him at any moment and he needs to be ready, so he will think twice about jerking off, whether he is honest with you or not.  This IS curable as long as there is not some other ED health issue, but you need to communicate with each other.

Abstaining from MB is working for me and I am beginning to start to get an erection by just lying down and kissing, which hasn't happened for me in a decade or so (I'm 38).  I was also able to perform twice in as many hours the other night, so things are definitely improving.  I have a VERY understanding girlfriend and I truly believe that to be integral to my recovery.  I have relapsed a couple of times and MB'd to porn, and I always feel bad afterwords.  I sincerely believe that I am close to being able to abstain for good.

Guys, if you are spiritual at all this may help: whenever you want to MB think about God, or the spirits of your loved ones, etc, and if they actually do visit on us in this world!  Also think about destroying your relationship, or if your relationship has already ended I can guarantee a big part of the problem, even if she didn't come right out and say it, is your ED!
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I'm a 38 year old male. I've NEVER had a relationship with a woman before or had sex in my life, not for lack of trying, but because no-one has ever wanted to be anything more than friends. Women seem to almost freak at the thought of being romantic or that I could even have a romantic interest in them. I have never even kissed a girl. It has been a hard, lonely time, and while I try to be very social and go to lots of parties, it just becomes an endless string of social activities that feels empty at the end of the day because there's nothing ever meaningful that comes out of it.

As I am extremely lonely (and understandably have lost confidence and self esteem), naturally I have turned to porn to take away some of the pain and loneliness. I don't think it's a viable solution, but because I have nothing else at the moment, and there is no future on the horizon with any woman, this is what I've used to dull the pain. I probably am addicted and have progressed onto increasingly hardcore material featuring penetration, oral sex, lesbian activity etc. There have been times when I've often felt preoccupied during masturbation and started to feel sad or depressed and can't continue. There was this one porn star who also reminded me of a girl I really liked. I was masturbating to her because, in a way, it brought me closer to her (or so I thought) but in the end it actually had a detrimental effect. Not only could I not see the real girl as anything other than a porn star, but I also began feeling quite sad whenever I was masturbating to the porn star because it reminded me of the girl I liked (who had rejected me), and I had to quit because I couldn't maintain an erection or have an orgasm while looking at her.

So far though, I've always managed to be able to masturbate to orgasm and to maintain some level of an erection. However, in the last couple of weeks or so, I seem to have lost my ability to maintain one completely. I don't get an erection at all when watching porn and the images just pass by in front of me as if nothing is going on. My mind feels numb and  sometimes  the porn even acts as a kind of anaesthetic that lulls me to sleep or at least makes me incapable of thinking. It also seems to drain my energy and, for want of a better phrase, my life force. It's almost as if all the energy and life has been sucked out of me by a vampire.

This really came to a head last night. In the past week I've ventured into the the area of live sex chat shows. I've tended to just chat to the girls first rather than asking them to induldge in any sexual behaviour. Somehow I've wanted to get to know them as people first and just have normal conversations with them, although there's always this slight sexual element. With this live sex chat, you have this option to have a private, one-on-one session with them in which they will indulge your deepest fantasies and will perform for you. Anyway, I decided that I would finally try one of those out with a girl on there that I liked and found very sweet, bubbly and personable in comparison to some of the other girls on there who seemed totally dead and lifeless. Had I known her in real life in a different context, would've quite liked to have been friends with her. So I went into this private live sex chat with her and told her my name and asked her to use it often while performing and make out as if she was actually having sex with me. This would've been the "closest" I  had ever gotten to having any kind of sexual activity with another woman. Well, needless to say, she did perform and used my name as if to make it more personalised. However, I just couldn't get an erection and even when I occasionally did, I had trouble maintaining it and even coming to orgasm at all. I have to say that her performance was less hardcore than some of these porn videos I've downloaded before. She was relatively tame by comparison (although she was completely naked) and the experience was more about just interacting with another girl while masturbating (or trying to). I thought the experience would be extremely exciting and would make me even more aroused, especially since, unlike any other standard porn video, this one  is more personal and the girl was doing it just for me (and giving the illusion that she was being intimate with me). However, it just didn't work. I don't know how it would've been if it had been more hardcore, but this was a more "real" experience for me (although of course, completely fake) but even here I couldn't maintain an erection and felt completely inadequate.

I feel I have become totally desensitised to porn and nothing seems to excite me anymore. I still have this strange compulsion to wanting to see more porn even though I know that it won't satisfy. I don't want to be addicted, and I would much rather have a completely non-sexual and meaningful date and conversation with a real life girl than watch porn any day.

I am sure it is partly as a result of porn, I can't relate to women. However, I don't think this is completely the case. I can relate to them, but I want to relate on a deeper level, not on a superficial one with the standard "hi, how are you" etc and only talking about what we've been up to during the week rather than something of more substance. I also think it's a vicious circle. It's because I've felt so rejected and shunned that have become hooked on porn, as this is not what I want for my life. However, because of porn, it also now makes it harder with women.

I haven't reached a solution or breakthrough yet, but thought I would share my struggles. Porn defintely does desensitise you and can cause ED. Even in my first "sexual encounter" albeit with a porn star, I couldn't even perform.
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I just wanted to add that with the girl on the live sex chat (in my post above), although she might be classed as a porn star, was really just a girl who was doing this for a job to earn a living, so not a porn star per se. She didn't seem like a fully fledged porn star like you might find on these videos, but much more amateur. I tried to get her to act like a porn star, but she acted more like a girl you might know (perhaps one's girlfriend) trying to act like a porn star but needing to be told to make orgasmic noises etc. Maybe I have become too conditioned to hearing and getting off with these fake orgasmic sounds and really hardcore stuff. So now when I even engage with a girl in chat who doesn't naturally do that sort of stuff, I can't seem to get an erection because I'm used to the more extreme material.
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Darksim:

I have a couple of suggestions.  First of all I believe pheromones have alot to do with attraction and if you are continually MB'ing I don't think you are putting out the "I'm ready for sex" pheromones.  It may be all in my head, or body language or something else, but when I don't MB for awhile I get more attention and interest from women. So the first thing you need to do is abstain for awhile.

Next, I think you should lower your standards if your aren't "closing the deal" with the women you desire.  Maybe a tough pill to swallow since you're used to looking at hot, slutty women, but if you really want to be with a woman there are women out there that will desire you, just maybe not the total hotties that you're trying to get with.  Again, maybe a tough pill to swallow, but if you're 38 and haven't been with a woman yet you need to rethink your strategy, or possibly go to a hooker if you NEED someone hotter than would normally be attracted to you.  I understand there are moral implications with going to a pro, sso it's not for everyone.

Good Luck and remember, you can recover through abstinence!
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Thanks for your response.

To clarify a few things:

1) There have been times when I've abstained from MB for long periods of time over the years and had nothing to do with porn. Even in these times, no woman has ever been attracted to me. I've worked on lots of qualities to make myself more attractive, but the sad thing is that women seem to have a certain image of what they would like, and I don't fit that image. I can be more outgoing, fun and personable, and people do openly acknowledge that I'm super talented in many areas (I'm not boasting here but just stating what others have remarked). On the surface, apart from my appearance, I can seem very well rounded as a person, and people have thought that I really do have a lot to offer and are baffled as to how I am still alone after all this time. However, at the end of the day, women don't want anything more with me than just a friend.

2) I don't have ridiculously high standards for women. I never have. Please do not make assumptions or generalisations about me. I don't seek women who would look like porn stars at all. I would be happy for just a normal, girl-next-door type who isn't all dolled up. Of course, I would still need to be attracted to her, but I'm not asking for someone who looks like a supermodel at all. On the other hand, I do know a lot of attractive women and am friends with them, and since many of them are in my every day circle of friends it's not like my standard is going to be too high. These are the girls who are around me and happen to attractive too.

I have, on the other hand, lowered my standards before to such a degree that I once tried to date a woman who (at first glance) looked like a man. I'm not exaggerating here. I thought that she looked ugly but figured that if I'm not exactly considered attractive by women, then this is the best I'm going to get and that beggars can't be choosers. I thought that I should try to look beyond the physical appearance and get to know her as a person. However, even she wasn't interested in me even though I really tried to see the beauty in her and was genuinely prepared  to give her a chance. I've since realised that I can't go to the opposite extreme and lower my standards that much that I go for someone whom I'm completely unattracted to.

I don't need a hooker, as I'm not after empty sex with just any hot girl, or with any girl at all for that matter. I want a close, meaningful relationship with a normal girl and someone I love. Sex would be the expression of that love at the right time. Porn is only like a temporary relief to dull all the years of pain, boredom and loneliness, but I would gladly give that up in a heartbeat to be with a real girl. I never truly enjoy porn at all when watching it, and often quite despise it, yet somehow I keep coming back to it.
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I feel for you man. Didn't mean to assume too much, but 38 and no action is a difficult case, maybe beyond the scope of this thread.  I will encourage you to keep trying as eventually you will find someone to reciprocate.  Many women can become attracted to men that they are not initially attracted to initially, unlike most men.  I call it the "puppy dog effect." A woman will go for the same "jock", or "stud" type only to be let down again and again.  However, they become attached to their platonic friend who is always there for them through thick and thin, and eventually, through successful failures with their "type", they decide to give the friend a chance and the security of having a loyal friend that they can relate to outweighs their need to be with the "hunk".  Eventually their attachment grows so string that that begin to be sexually attracted to their friend.  Women are wired much different than men generally speaking and I have seen this phenomenon many times.

But back to the scope of this thread, you will probably be a let down to any woman that you do eventually become intimate with if you continue to desensitize yourself with porn/ MB.  Throughout my life I have been able to abstain from all other detrimental behavior to myself save for this one.  I have considered going to a psychologist several times, and probably will eventually if I can't "kick the habit" soon.  The important thing is to be honest with yourself first and foremost.  As I have stated previously: I completely blew it with someone I really liked by not being able to perform adequately, and I can assure you that that pain is much worse and detrimental than feeling lonely.  It hits to the very core of a man's identity and self worth.  Once again good luck in your endeavors and I cannot stress this enough: abstinence is the only way to cure this problem at this stage of the game!
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Just an update on my situation:
I have severely cut back on porn/MB but have lapsed a few times.  It seems to be getting easier to abstain, and I my body is definitely starting to become more sensitive to my girlfriends touch.  I feel very fortunate to have her in my life as I don't know if I would be able to cut down without steady action, so if you have someone in your life currently don't take them for granted!  I suggest you come clean and ask them to help you through this.  This morning I felt sexually aroused just lying next to her, even though I MB'd to porn as recently as Monday, but felt extremely guilty and did not want to have problems the next time I was with my GF, so I have abstained since.  She gave me a ** this am and I got hard very quickly and stayed hard throughout and climaxed in a very reasonable amount of time: maybe 10 minutes.  This is the first time this has happened with her: staying hard throughout and climaxing from a **.  So gentlemen take heart, your body CAN repair itself!  We now have a very healthy sex life and I feel confident that I am gaining control over my urges to MB/ view porn.  The times that I felt the need I reread these threads, or think about her,or think about God, or think about the times I could not perform with a woman, anything to occupy my mind, and yes, make myself feel ashamed and guilty; which, in my mind is better than desensitizing myself.

Good Luck to all!
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To clarify: The ** in my last post are a B and a J, apparently not allowed to be placed side by side on this forum ;)
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One other thing I wanted to mention re ED. I don't know if this is related or not, but since the last time I actually properly masturbated and orgasmed (about a week ago) to a porn video, I don't feel as if I've really replenished the depleted sperm reserves. It might not actually be the case and might just be all part of this current ED. However, this is the only way I know how to describe it. It feels almost like the day after I've masturbated (or maybe the day after I've masturbated 2 days in a row) and I feel that there's barely any semen in there to ejaculate and so I have more difficulty having an orgasm. My penis tends to feel more flacid and my testicles don't feel as full. This is currently what it feels like a week after having orgasmed. I don't feel like I have built up a supply of sperm waiting (or needing) to be released.

Is this normal? Is this what it feels like when people have low libido and are experiencing ED when masturbating? It shouldn't feel like this a week later and in the past it never has before. I can usually feel replenished enough after a couple of days or so to be able to masturbate effectively again, but not this time. Admittedly I have been viewing a lot of porn every day for several hours since the last time I orgasmed and have probably become over saturated with these erotic images. However, I don't know if it is to do with that causing my feeling of lack of sperm or if it's all part of the ED problem.

Anyone care to comment?

BTW there was a porn forum I was visiting regularly. I asked them to ban me from it for a while so I wouldn't be able to access it and fortunately they did oblige.
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just another update.  i miscalculated last post, it's only today that i am 23 days without P & M.  i genuinely feel better.  more energy, more confidence, more upbeat on life.  also not sure if it's my imagination or not but i just notice more women coming up to me talking and more incidental touching.  hope to keep this going for the 3 months i had set out for myself.  hope this whole thing works and i lose the desensitization i seem to have acquired over the years.
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I been free of P&M for 17 days now..and now my dreams have turned more erotic! What I mean is that I had a handful sexual dreams for the last two yeas..and I couldnt even perform in my dreams! not at all...now with these dreams the last few weeks they have been very sensual and erotic..they are great!  Anyone have any similar experiences with dreams changing?
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