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Too much porn/masturbation cause ED?
Hi I m a 28 year old and suffer some degree of ED in recent. I start masturbated since I m 19 and usually use porn as a form of visual stimiulation. I have observed that I have lost the ability to maintain erect during intercource or I only get weak erection. My question is: does masturbation in association with porn will "exhaust" my interest towards sex and create a negative impact on my ability to get aroused in real sex? I m worried cause I think I m still young to have physical cause  for ED. Any thought?
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Oh and thinking about kissing or intimacy tends to get me an erection. There is definitely an improvement.
The weird thing is that I didn't experience a desire to look at porn at all. No withdraw symptoms, except a slight depressive mode for a day or two. But I'm seeing the positive stuff. I'm more open to socializing with people. I started using social networks more often, which got me in to few parties and met a ton of different people.
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Day 16 and last night I had quite a dream in which my erection was full blown but it lasted for a very short time. Nevertheless, it is still an improvement from before. Now as the day goes on, I am back to flatlining but I got to stick with it.
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2022414 tn?1329666048
28 days today...I feet the urge to M...didn't relapse, though
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1923088 tn?1338603606
There's nothing wrong with feeling the urge but you have to fight to resist it.  I used to M almost every right before going to bed and a few times a day on the weekends.  It was like second nature for me to M now I rarely get the urge to M and when I do its no big deal I just don't do it.

Stay strong the further along you get the easier it will become to resist the temptation to M.

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Never go to a brothel.  Find someone who loves you.  That's hard enough as it is.
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Sounds like you have a high sex drive which doesnt have to be a problem.  Think having sexual impulses is good and lively in itself and doesnt mean you necessarily have to ejaculate--just use the energy to enjoy people and the world around you..and when appropriate and with the right person ejaculate...Having a high sex drive enables  one to be more productive at work, do lots more physically, store up a lot of nuts...probably for most healthy men i am thinking 2-3 times a week is good average, esp in your prime. Generally I would think a wet dream would relieve some of your sexual desire-- if not, be glad you got what you got.
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You need to have less sex and more time to write for a living:)
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2022414 tn?1329666048
I'm on day 29 and still no morning wood or spontaneous errections.I had a wet dream in the first week, though.

I couldn't even get it when I was with my girlfried, just after some kissing and stuff like that.The fact that it was the first time having sex and I couldn't penetrate her (cause I didn't want to push things too far) made me lose my selfconfidence.

Also I got some problems with sleeping.Is that normal?
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Earlier today when I was about close to waking up, I had another wet dream. That is the second one within the past 3 or 4 days. I don't know if that's good or bad but I can't remember the last time I had two wet dreams so close to one another. My erection in the dream wasn't too good and I am still flatlining.
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Day 8 , its quite difficult to fight the urges , woke up this morning with sex on my mind and morning wood. Least my mind is changing from I should look at porn and masturbate to I really need and want some seriously fun sex.
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2022414 tn?1329666048
Managed to get over day 29 with no M...
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Wet dreams are good unless they are wet dreams where you are watching porn. Wet dreams where you are watching porn are a telltale sign of your addiction. Your brain wants and demands porn. I used to have those whenever i started. Heck, i even orgasmed in those dreams 2 times. My brain is so addicted, it dreams about porn and then makes me mastrubate in my sleep! But as long as the wet dreams are about a girl and not about porn its good, it means you are recovering. Flatlines are also good and they will last, they can last alot, you need to keep up with your no PMO and you will have erections again...
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1923088 tn?1338603606
At 29 days you are still in the beginning stages of rebooting. When you are with your girlfriend relax and just enjoy the moment.  If you clog your mind with "I hope I can get it up" you are going to doom yourself.  Having the wet dream is a good indication that you are on the right track.  

My sleep patterns became horrible I could not go to sleep to save my life, I would end up laying in my bed tossing and turning.  If I did fall asleep I'd wake up after a few hours and not be able to go back to sleep.  I ended up buying a bottle of the Unisom sleep aid and that did the trick.  My problem was that M was a nightly ritual before going to sleep.



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Hello everyone. This is my first post. Ive been watching porn since i can remember, and i think it has affected my life and my relationships (or lack of) with women. Im 27 now and have been doing it on average 5-6 a week. Ive had issues with ed twice with two different girls before i got with my ex. Both times when it happened i didnt think too much of it i put it to the back of my head, although i was bit worried and i knew something wasnt right. In the early stages of my relationship with my ex-gf i think the ED experiences definately affected how i was sexually with her, i was always nervous but this didnt last very long as i had a strong attraction to her, soon after everything was normal and we were engaging in sex with no problems whatsoever. Throughout this relationship though i was still watching porn regularly 4-7 times a week. Ive split from her about a year now and all those anxieties and worries have come back and my ED is back. For the time ive been single ive been M to porn reguarly at times it was something i had to do before bed otherwise i wouldnt be able to sleep.
I came across this site after an experience one night in a club where i was making out with a hot chick but felt absolutely nothing down below. I was turned on but nothing was happening, this was exactly what happened years ago when i first experienced it. I knew something was wrong, i have this mental block that wont go away, it stops me from "working" down there, only with my ex has this problem not existed, which is why i know its a mental thing. My brain has learnt to respond only to porn as this has been my outlet for sexual satisfaction for over 10 years.
Ive been without PMO for 10 days now and i think i can resist porn i will not M again until i have rebooted. I want to be turned on my real women. I failed the first attempt, lasted 3 days, i think i got into it too quickly the first time and didnt get a chance to say "goodbye".
Im so glad i found this forum, and i hope this really works.
So far my libido has been very low, i have extreme anxiety talking to women as im scared becuase of my problem. I dont know if anythings actaully changing in me, and from reading the posts on this forum people have different experiences. Im not sure how long i will have to wait before i can get turned on by women the way i do when i watch porn or how i did when i was with my ex.
Im going to keep track of my progress and let you guys know what i experience and how i get on..Im in a bit of a catch 22 as im scared to talk to women yet i will need to get close to a female to know if ive been "cured". Hopefully ill notice some changes and get some confidence with women and get to an intimate stage and really see if this makes a difference.
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forgot to show my tracker......
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OK, I'm on day 48 of no P/M...All u guys info is good but I need more ppl that actually beat this and re wired there brain to tell me how long did it take and how was the process? It would be very helpful.

Like I already said I'm day 48, i haven't tried to have sex, but still no libido, morning erections, spontaneous erections ect. Only thing different if i fantasize about having sex with a real girl i get hard.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Here is what you have to understand. There is no full recovery to this process because the problem deals with the mind. In order to fully recover you would have to forget everything you done in the past. But we can't, porn will always be on the mind because you expose yourself to it.

But here is the thing, the longer you stay away from porn and masturbation, the more you are getting closer to your natural state of mind. I don't know why you don't get morning erections. I don't get them either but the bigger focus is getting/maintaining erections with a real woman during sex.

As far as libido goes, you are not going to feel your libido unless you're engaging into some sort of sexual act. I also feel like I have no libido but when I'm with my gf the libido kicks in. Therefore, the libido is really there.

If you are getting erections from fantasizing about real women then your penis is operating fine. Just continue the process for better sex results but keep in mind there is never a full recovery. People who go to a rehab are never fully recovered. They just learned to have more self-control with their  habit.
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Hey I wouldn't worry about the morning erections and all that, last year I tried rebooting for about a month but i had a brutal relapse at end of year. That whole time it felt like I had become completely unsexual and had no urge or desire. This time while rebooting (i'm on about 10 days) i'm being tortured by hot dreams and morning wood, it makes it more difficult to stay the course. Are libido is always there in the backgroiund, a more natural state is that it activates around a real woman. Why waste it on any other time.

Anyway tough day.. tired, low mood, I feel like my whole body is craving for sex or release. One day at a time.
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2022414 tn?1329666048
Almost end of the day...I surfed on the internet and read about a guy who lasted 120 days without PMO and nothing changed.I'm getting skeptical.

In the second part of the day, the urges to M came back...

  
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1828226 tn?1323568848
He lasted 120 days and nothing changed? That doesn't make me skeptical. That makes me think he fully didn't follow the process. Why is that I'm halfway to 120 days and I'm getting great results? Something is clearly wrong with this picture.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
Good point some guys do things while rebooting that can extend the time it would take to reboot and in some cases cause rebooting not to work at all.

Such things as:
* Still Peeping at porn and no M
* Edging
* Continuing to M but stops looking at porn
* I'll just M with my left hand

If you are deeply addicted you will need no distractions while rebooting.
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Some young guys are taking 120 days, 150 days, or longer to recover - and they are strictly following no porn no orgasm. It's troubling to say the least.

Some must have brains that are vulnerable to addiction. That's part of it. (Their hormones check out just fine)

But - It's only the younger guys who started on high speed porn. The younger they start, the longer it takes. We are at the beginning of a tsunami of guys who have had access to broadband + free porn sites.

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I started the net stuff when i was just 14 im 27 now, so I know how bad and quick the net stuff takes hold. You have to be serious about this, someone went 120 days and no results? First off we all need to stop counting days , waiting for results, testing are erections. In the end the fact that we are not masturbating to ridiculous porn for hours everyday is a great result in it's self. That's enough for me to be honest, any other positive aspect of it I will just consider a bonus. The increase in confidence for me is the best thing, also being able to reconnect with myself is fantastic. Im no longer depressed or feel like a useless husk. I feel vibrant and alive. Quitting P & M? I say it's a small price to pay for becoming the great person you can be.
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2022414 tn?1329666048
I really hope you are right...

End of day 30.Still insomnia and some cocentration problems.I start to feel a better though, like living for real.
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that is why i am not counting shiit. my goal is to continue for the rest of my life .. no masturbation and no porno what ever happens.
i have set a goal and my goal is to go 2012 without masturbation and porno.. i started december 2011, but failed @ 29 dec. .. restarted by the new year as a new year resolution.. and its all goin good.

to all :

is it just me, or there is some1 else who gets acne breakouts after masturbation?.. i had that problem since my teens.
and by quitting masturbation for from december .. i felt like my face got clean.. even ProActive couldn't help me.
stay strong guys. no Palm-marry Palm-Marry get the real Thing.
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Yeah exactly, why count it anyway, that's telling your brain i'll do this for 60 days be cured then I can look at a bit of porn again and jack off. I'm dropping it all, it's a useless past time, highly destructive and highly addictive. Seriously this thing makes people a social retard, you become like an addict, sneaky, unsure and anxious all the time. And definitely physically I have much more staminia now, more pep so to speak and no acne. The sex side of it, now I just let that take care of its self, why worry about it. Our sexuality is an intregal part of us I think, with this addiction I think we managed to warp and abuse it and change it. **** that!
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2022414 tn?1329666048
I had problems with acne.I had problems with concentration, insomnia, confidence, memory.Also suffered from hair loss and didn't get taller.

I thought these were not connected to M, but thanks for the confirmation!
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1828226 tn?1323568848
To say you're never doing it again seems impossible to accomplish. Thats why we give ourselves goals and once the goal is achieved we set another goal. I tried back in 2010 not to masturbate for a whole year and to me seems too challenging to conquer. So what I do now is give me 90 days goals and take it from there.

You need to set a goal. For example, Every great company has a plan and a goal.
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Hey guys,

So I'm 33 and have been addicted to porn and masturbating my whole life really and I'm sick of living like this.  I haven't been able to really function sexually since my early twenties, so I just avoided relationships for years.  A couple years ago I met a girl and couldn't resist getting involved with her since I liked her so much, but yet again the same problem - ZERO ERECTIONS even though she was really attractive.

Unless it's porn, I get no erections.  Put the most physically attractive woman in front of me and you will get nothing.  Throw a video clip of some crazy porn and I'll be hard for hours.  It's been like this for a LONG time now.

Just started getting involved with someone new and I can tell she wants to play around.  I'm terrified.  I'm contemplating just doing things to her for now and having some excuse why I don't want to be played with and no sex (like emotional problems from childhood or something).  I don't know what to do, I'm sure she will lose all interest in me if she sees I can't even get hard..............I feel like such a failure due to my sexual issues.
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Im just gonna quit and seek orgasms off ladies in time, that's my plan, but whatever work's as long as we all try and support each other.

Hey man don't fret, I've been a mess sexually for 10 years, but this really does work it's all connected to porn.

Just tell the same thing we have been telling girls for years im anxious and have performance anxiety. Best not tell her the real reason that your brain has been messed up by porn. Tell her you just need time.

I met a great girl the same week I found out all about this, so I had to face exactly what your facing, you just need to try and keep your distance and in the end your doing this for yourself. So you  have to accept you may lose this girl. But never worry! as in a matter of months you will be a changed man and that will make you feel like a million bucks.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I feel your pain. Tell her you just got out a recent relationship and that you want to take things real slow and just get to know each other emotionally.
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Morning chaps,

I think the point made above re younger guys taking longer to recover because they have known nothing other than porn and mastrubation is worthy of consideration. I come from a generation of pre internet guys where if you wanted some porn you bought a magazine or hired a dodgy video from a backstreet store. When the net came along I started off reading erotic stories, thats how I got off. Listening to some of you guys on here it would seem that many of you started at the deep end with virtually no easing into this. Consequently you'll take longer to recover your sexual senses.

I'm posting this again by way of encouragement. I was 15 years of porn and mastrubation. I couldn't maintain an erection with a woman so tried every pill / help know. They helped a bit but didn't cure the problem. I've now been off porn and mastrubation for 3 weeks plus and I'm telling you the difference in me is beyond belief. Last week I had a session as we had the place to ourselves for a bit and I lasted for an hour plus without a waver. We stopped had something to eat and then 2 hours later did it again and I was probably harder the 2nd time. Seriously, I've not felt like this for 20 years.

So, to you guys who are struggling with flat libido, worrying about "will it work" let me encourage you to stay the course here. I was actually standing ina shop over the weekend beside a girl and as I smelled her perfume I was actually getting hard. Such things are normal for me now. I'm amazed at how quickly I've recovered but I will keep at this as it has saved my life.

Stick with it guys. No porn (not even peeks) no mastrubation (not even a squeeze), just totally abstain and you will get there. The feeling of wellbeing is just incredible. And its all down to this site!!

Thanks again and keep going.
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Cheers for saying that all man, soon as i get stressed or something all i want to do is indulge. Like this morning I got a job rejection, instantly wanted to go on the porn. Your right though, I'm 10 days in, I do feel great, the change is really starting to feel profound.
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When you're off the porn and mastrubation and you feel yr flatlining with no libido, don't worry. You may feel like theres no libido or that yr flatlining but thats just because yr not feeding it with porn. I was the same a few weeks ago. I was off it and thought my bits must have dropped off as I had zero feeling there at all. 15 years of mastrubating every day, how do you suppose its going to feel going for a few weeks of nothing??? Anyway, that first night my wife came onto me and I started to panic wondering if anything would happen, I needn't have worried. The libido is there but its just waiting for something real to respond to.

I hope you and everyone else gets the enormity of what all of us are trying to do here. 15 years of daily porn and mastrubation and now nothing. Little wonder some of us are feeling a bit off!!!! There will be good days and bad and thats just to be expected.

Keep it for the ladies, my man, keep it for the ladies. I'm 49 this year and I feel like 21 again.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I need everyone on this forum to become leaders of tomorrow. If you're not thinking like a leader now, today is the day. Today is a new day! See.... If you think like a leader and not like a tester, you will succeed in this. Stop saying to yourself "I hope I can do this". Think as a leader and you will do it with no problems. When you think as a leader you are more focus than ever.

I'm a leader.
Palpateit
Ghostdog

Who else is a leader? You get over 30 days then you are a leader by example. And a leader continues to lead by example. Don't go back to where you came from. If you choose to go back, then you resign as a leader. You start over! I don't know about you but I love being a leader and I love my new self! I love that I have control over watching porn and masturbating. I love the excitement that I feel whenever I am around my gf. I love giving you all support, encouragement and advice.

That's all I have to say...
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2022414 tn?1329666048
How do you feel after 66 days?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I feel confident as ever!
I feel like a normal person that wakes up, go to work, come home and sleep WITHOUT looking at porn or masturbating.
I feel like a man that can hold onto his orgasm until he is around a woman.
I feel like I have more energy to lift weights.
I feel like I can take peeps at porn without touching myself.
I feel fine.

I KNOW I need to stay away from live webcam chat rooms, skype, oovoo, etc. That stuff is live porn that provides visual stimulation (not mind stimulation) along with me touching myself. That will draw me back to the way I use to be. I like the new me. My gf loves me and how I love to sexually please her so much. I be a fool to go back to where I use to be.
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There is no doubt about it that this thing is a true addiction, as when you let it slip you can feel your brain trying to fool you. Thats why we log on here to remind us about what we are doing and seek support from all the guys who have made it work for them. No one is meant to go through life getting a dopeamin hit from bizarre porn and chatrooms every time life doesnt go the way you want it to go. I honestly believe it warps you into something we are not. Life is stressful and tough at times but from now on im gonna ride it out and not sacrafice my sexuality to get an ever increasing hit of P&O. When you lie with a woman you care deeply about, after making amazing love to her, you realise how absurd this damn P&O is. We got screwed over as teenagers, young lads love porn just some of us ended up being addicts, it ***** yes but now we change it.
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2022414 tn?1329666048
For sure...hope we will be cured...
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1923088 tn?1338603606
First I’d like to thank everyone who posts on this board.  We support and motivate each other and we are not judgmental upon each other.

I began rebooting about two weeks before I found this board; I just reached a point where things had to change.  This board has played a major role in me having the strength not to relapse.  Reading to stories of those who relapsed and getting back on track as well as those who are rebooting supermen.

I’m 45 years old so my exposure to porn was very different from younger guys who went straight to internet porn.   If your initial exposure was to internet porn your rebooting process will probably be on the longer end of the scale.

Not feeling your libido is normal, I don’t feel mine until I’m in the company of a woman.

I wish I had the knowledge that I have now of this addiction years ago, this addiction has caused me to blow a few relationships.

love_a_challenge, palpateit I see you guys as the shepherds of the board and I strongly feel that others will come into the same role as we progress.

“One day at a time”


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Well I'm a little over a week so far - nothing in terms of progress so far but I wouldn't really expect it that fast.  I'm going to have a sit down today with this woman I'm starting to get involved with and be honest with her that I'm starting to do some self work that will result in us likely not being able to be sexual for a while - we'll see how she responds.  Kind of a win win situation either way I guess, if she loses interest I won't have to worry about it and can just focus on this and if she sticks with me then she must be a pretty understanding and cool chick.

Anyway, staying the course - can't even mentally fathom what it must be like to get a boner just looking at a woman - probably been 15 years or more.
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"Anyway, staying the course - can't even mentally fathom what it must be like to get a boner just looking at a woman"

DITTO!
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Hey, I made it to 35 days last year... I definitely noticed some improvements, the erections weren't what they used to be but it got better. I haven't watched porn in 5 months (minus one slip up) and I'm currently 2 weeks without P/M/O and minimal fantasy. I'm just curious, since this is the reason we're all here, how are things working in the erection department? Are they 100% and reliable... just curious to hear from someone who is that far along.
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So the girl that motivated me to start the whole process doesn't like me anymore. I was too afraid to show attraction because of the ED.
I should be devastated and relapse, right ? Screw her. I feel much more confident around women now, and feel like I can get a girl any time I want. I'm doing this for me now. I've also joined a gym, got a healthy diet and I lost 10 pounds in the last month...
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Wow i dont belive i managed to orgasm in my sleep again. This time i wasnt even wet dreaming. I was dreaming, and then a girl that i like appeared, and suddenly i was orgasming, i tried to prevent it since the orgasming sensation woke me up but it was too late. For it to be even worse, in my dream, i was on the internet broswering 9gag when suddenly porn appeared and i was like "wtf is this ****, where did 9gag go" and i tried to get back onto 9gag again. Im not counting this as a relapse (should i?), but i am really sick that every 2 weeks of no PMO, i orgasm into my sleep and **** everything up...
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Damn right Jonny! We do this for ourselves no one else! It's great being yourself again after being stuck in a porn fantasy for over 10 years, my attitude and confidence have completely changed.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
Good frame of mind JonnyTz.

Remember you are doing this for yourself, not for the women.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
Don't worry man you didn't mess anything up.
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im going slightly mad, i dont know whether his would be easier or harder with a job. My old triggers were usually job stress, but now i got unemployment boredom making it difficult. Still though, apart from the urges im holding out and feeling good, if not a little strung out.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
You need to find something to do to kill that idle time.  Read, play video games, watch some movies, exercise.

Don't let boredom lure you down that path.
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2022414 tn?1329666048
End of day 32...today was tricky!
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Hope so but my brain today went berserk. I barely made it this day. It was so bad, my brain was making up all sort of excused until i said to myself loudly "I am not a weakling and i will not cave in" and that probably saved me this day.

I hate my addict brain.
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This has been quite a ride, guys. Even after a month of no PMO I still find myself thinking of porn (and obviously ogling women).

I spent the holiday weekend with my girlfriend and didn't have problems, though I did notice that often I mentally wasn't in the mood. I wonder if psychologically I'm in the flatline period.

Anyway, stay strong guys.
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Hey guys I'm on day two of the process of stopping masturbating and stopping porn altogether.

For the past few years I never wake up with morning wood, like ever.

Does having an erection in the morning come back as you progress without masturbating?

Its something I'm looking forward to having again.
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Yes, but i suppose you are in a poor erectal health so you will probably wait a couple of weeks...one, two, three, depends...morning wood is one of the first signs that the reboot is working...
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1923088 tn?1338603606
You won a major battle by resisting the urge to relapse.

Its mind over matter.

Well Done!!!
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I was out with a girl last night, we got to kissing at end of night. Everything seemed to be going well, I wasnt sure whether to push it to take it further. So i left her at her door and arranged another date. My worry was not so much having sex and this causing a possible relapse. A little worm of worry creeped up on me and said you might not be better, if you dont perform well this might get you down. Im only on 12 days off porn and M. To be honest though I may just have sex soon soon as opportunity arises as surely it not damaging compared to P and M. Though a full reboot so important...
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1923088 tn?1338603606
12 days you are in the very early stages of the rebooting process.

If you are suffering from ED problems related to porn I think it would be safe to say that 12 day is not enough time.  You may be able to perform the first because of the "newness" and fail afterwards.

Just my 3 cents ;-)
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so guys yesterday was my 7th day ... i got my libido back in a very wierd way .. i was so horny that i started getting an erection just by thinking about my gf ... and this hasnt happened to me in a very long time ... so i went and had sex with a prostitute ... what happened is that i got an erection when she sucked my u knw ... but when i tried to insert it it fell asleep a little .. idk what was wrong so she sucked it and immediately inserted it and finished in like 3 minutes .. i guess im happy now ... cuz i didnt masturbate ... i came inside her (in a condom ofc) ... so what im gonna do now .. ill just give my mind more time to reboot more like 1-2 month or sth :)
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Having sex in the early stages of the reboot is not really a smart idea since your erectal health is not very good. Especially if you can't get a full erection even when watching porn, if you have semenal leakege and if you don't really enjoy the orgasm. These are telltale signs of sexual exhaustion and you need a break. Sexual exhaustion can also be cause of premature ejaculation. Try to avoid sex during your reboot process unless you are making you with a girl or have foreplay and you can achive full erection. Unsuccesfull sex can give your morale a drop and that is not really good for your recovery.
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i have installed K9 web protection on my Laptop..  but i want to install same program or any other helpful software on my Nokia N8. .. please if somebody knows any software or anything wich can block viewing pornography on the smartphones... please help guys. thanks in advance.
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i know man .. no my morale is kinda relaxed .. im relaxed i achieved a full erection ... even though it went down in less than 10 seconds .. but for me thats a good indicator that i can control my self and reboot my mind ... i was very very addicted to p/m ... that i couldnt hold myself more than 2 days .. and there were days that i masturbated 4 times a day .. i was so into anal porn that i used to get aroused as soon as i see a butt . .. and when  isee the front .. i lose the erection ... which means i trained my brain to work and get excited to a specific thing .... but right now .. i dont even like or even think of how disgusting this think can be.. i read somewhere that the chinese doctors advise patients with ed ... to stop having sex for atleast 100 days .. and to try a herbal treatment like taking ginger and mint and other stuff .. and especially Royal Jelly everyday .. they say it helps clear ur mind and restores ur regular erection ... so my aim now is 100 days ... i just believe im gonna achieve this
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1828226 tn?1323568848
that can be achieved yo, good luck with that! just stay focus, you can do it!
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I need help... I recently started hanging out with a girl i like and i know that she will be expecting to have sex soon. Im currently still in the reboot process and dont know if ill even be able to get it up when it comes to sex. What excuses could i use to avoid this situation for now until i recover. I dont want to make a fool of myself. Thanks.  
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I ended up relapsing today after 23 days. I felt that my erection was definitely better than before but I edged and gave in. Oh well tomorrow marks Day 1 again. The fact that I got through to 23 days is an improvement and I plan to go through with the entire 90 days.
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I have the same problem at the moment ben, I think though you may just have to keep your distance. As all the guys say sex could really mess up the reboot process or give your morale a kick if you were not performing well. 3 months try and aim for. I am meant to see this girl tonight, I have no idea what I will say to avoid sex, but i do really think i should. im on the 13th day.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
You and ben213 really need to advoid talking to new women while you're rebooting. You're putting yourself in awkward situations with women. For your sake, I hope she doesn't think you're soft from not trying to make a move on her.
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It really is awkward as this relationship was established months ago before my reboot, only now is there a chance of it turning sexual. grrrrr its very frustrating as I want to be with her but I dont want to appear distant and lose her because i wont make a move. I might just cancel tonight.
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Its what happen to me the first time i tried to reboot after 2 and a half weeks. Since then i had 3 more relapses. It was really tough for me but i am trying to pull away from it and i am going for the home strech. The good thing is that those 23 days are not in vain, you are not starting from the beggining. You simply have to be persistant. Do not cave in no matter what, the "oh look an erection, why not take a look at porn" is a classic trap that your brain lays out. Your brain is still not cured and when it sees an oportunity to make you watch porn it will try to use it. You simply have to set yourself goals:

-no mastrubation
-no porn
-not a glimpse of porn
-fantasies to be kept at a minimum
-no penis touching

And you have to stick to this no matter what your brain tells you! Next time, if you feel like you will relapse gain all of your self-control and do some of the things i found myself useful and what helped me 2 days ago when i was near relapsing - simply yell to yourself "i am not weak" . i also find medidation useful, or simply start doing some excersise, push ups or an ab workout. Play a video game or phone a friend. If it is really getting to you - go outside. Simply go outside and do whatever you want because when you are outside you can't mastrubate(well you can, but you'll go to jail :D ) and it will help clear your mind. I hope i helped so next time you won't relapse. I am telling you this since i had 4 relapses in my attempts at PMO so i know what i am talking about...
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Yha i guess keeping your distance may be the best idea. I'm supposed to hang out with her tomorrow, don't know what i'm going to tell her. Im thinking about making up some excuse, saying something about how i went to the doctor and he advised  me on not to have sex for a while for whatever reason. I don't want to lie to her and want to be honest but i don't think she would understand. Is there any believable excuse that i could use?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
here is what you do, go out with her and make out her and pretend you forgot to have condoms on you.... no condom=no sex unless you plan on having unprotected sex and I don't think you was thinking that.
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Tough situation, man. Yea, maybe you should do what love a challenge said. If she brings a condom, then you have to have a ready excuse...why don't you tell her that you have perfomance anxiety and will need some time? That's not entirely true, but will do the job.


Guys, about the lack of libido, I have to agree with you. When I'm alone, I have no spontaneous erections. But when I'm with a girl, I've been getting major erections. I didn't have sex with her yet, though. I guess I'll have to wait to seehow it goes.


  
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I'm finding it extremely difficult to restrain myself from M to O, even without porn. After a fun round of romping this past weekend, I'm craving that feeling again and have nearly broken down several times now. I keep trying to rationalize that as long as I don't look at P now I'll be fine if I just M once or twice a week.
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See pretending to forget a condom will buy me some time but not much. Same with pretending that I have performance anxiety. I think that i might need more time then that and need a excuse that is more long term. I could say I want to take things slow, but it will only be a matter of time before she suspects something. I guess i just have to face the fact that i'm in over my head here and that i may just have to forget about her even though that is something I really don't want to do. I wish there was some other way. I've never told anyone about my problem, do you think it would be a big mistake to just be honest?  
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Well im back from my date and this is what happened, it was slightly worrying i was quite dead down there initially when we were fooling a round, my head has been spinning all day to be honest in a fog and i still felt it when i was with her. Initially i started to panic and went searching for porn images in my head , actually couldnt find any, and stopped that pretty quick, so that good i guess. Though maybe after 15mins it all just came back and i was starting to feel pretty damn alright. We stopped it short though well she actually said she was not ready. I was silly to walk into it like that, there really would not have been anything wrong with me saying i wasnt ready. Im on day 13 I really want to be free of the weird urges and porn flashbacks , i was getting them all morning.
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when  i say it all came back ,i mean i got a serious erection, no porn images
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Thing is ben i was quite worried about it all day and when i was in the moment i felt this overriding pressure that i needed to have sex with her. It seems like an awkward thing to do to pull away from a girl when ur both kissing on a bed quite intimately. I would say don't bring any condoms, or better yet say you just got out of a big relationship and you want to take it slow. If all else fails go with performance anxiety. I don't think you will help your case by explaining the porn addiction and reboot thing. Not unless she is your significant other and then you have to be honest. Not at this stage though. Thats why you have us here , we support each other.
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I see from the posts that some of you are deliberating as to whither to tell your gf / wife or whatever re your reboot and what has gone on. I decided to tell mine as I was so elated at how I was feeling and the change that I had within me. I just wanted to tell her so she'd know why there was such an improvement.

Not a good move on my part. To say she was devestated would be an understatement. With hindsight I wish I had said nothing. When I now put myself in her shoes I can fully understand her anger and disgust. Years or excuses and poor performance and its down to me overdosing on porn and mastrubation???? That did not go down well and when I thought about it later I really had no idea why I did think it would go down well.

So my advice to you guys is this, keep whats happening to you to yourself and anything you want to share re this, do it on this forum. Most women, I think, will not react well to this kind of news as it immediately causes her to think that she has been deficient in some way.

Re new gf's etc, you need to be careful what you'd say and how you'd say it. To many you might as well be saying that you are a kind of sex pervert trying to overcome the urge. Not the kind of line that will fill her with compassion and trust for the future.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
I fully understand your point.

In a perfect world it would be great to be able to say "Baby look this is what I'm going through."  

I have only told a few friends that I stopped M because I think it was messing with my libido.  The women that I had occasional relations with I just eased back.  I've have used the excuse which is partially true that I've been reading a lot and I working on improving myself as a person.  Exercising, eating better abstaining from sex etc that worked pretty good.

One woman asked me one day after I refused her request to come "visit" her a number of times if I had caught an STD and was waiting to finish the antibiotics.  I just told her no that's not the case I'm very busy with work and its consuming my mind.

Women will often throw crap in your face later when in arguments even if you are arguing over something totally unrelated.  "Well at least I wasn't addicted to porn jerking off like some kind of freak and couldn't get it up!!!!  What kind of man is that???"  

Some of you have women that you can tell and are understanding you are very fortunate.  While others will be taking the lid off of Pandora's box by explaining the situation.  
----------------------------------------------
For those of you who don't know about Pandora's box:
"Pandora opened the jar, and all evil contained escaped and spread over the earth. She hastened to close the lid, but the whole contents of the jar had escaped, except for one thing which lay at the bottom, and that was Hope."
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Wow... To the guys that are dealing with women, I totally feel your situation. I have a gf myself. Fortunately, I got lucky. I'm settled down with a woman that doesn't want sex before marriage so this allows me PLENTY of time to recover. But if she wasn't this way, I don't think I can tell her I had a porn/masturbation problem.

In my past relationships (before I really knew my problem) I hid my problem with taking sex pills (viagra, cialis, levitra). Sometimes I had great sex and sometimes I couldn't keep it up or couldn't get it up. It was always iffy and my ex-gf would just think I'm not in the mood, stressed out, can't focus, performance anxiety, don't want them, etc. This would go on/off in my relationship for 2-3 years until we both just not happy. She's not happy because she doesn't like it when I lose erection and I'm not happy because I felt they can't turn me on like I needed to be. But all along, porn/masturbation was the root of the problem. I probably be married a long time ago. But it don't matter. The woman I am with now completely makes me happy and is GORGEOUS out of all my ex-es. So I think God knows the ultimate plan.

I suggest all of you that have gf to get some sex pills to use during your recovery or until you build up enough confidence to perform in bed. Your excuses probably won't last forever. You can't tell a girl you wanna take things slow but a girl can tell you that. But if you gonna tell her you wanna take things slow I STRONGLY suggest you blame it on your religious beliefs, LOL. Or tell her you like to concentrate on building an emotional relationship ( a relationship not built on sex).
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I dont know i feel iffy about taking pills in general, i dont want to have another crutch to be holding onto. Thats kind of how my mind works i think, for years i used porn in my head during sex. I no longer have that or want that. I guess I might just see what happens naturally. Considering the medical professionals don't recognise this it could only be long shot i guess to expect a close one to understand as well. As no doubt their mind is already frayed from thinking about it as well. I dont think this all doom and gloom. I sometimes think i wish i was rebooting completely without women for at least 3months. But interestingly enough one aspect of the reboot (i've found) is more confidence and less social anxiety ergo I've ended up meeting new people and a possible girl in my life. I think the confidence boost and general happiness of being with someone may be better than doing this all alone for 6 months. Imagine being without female contact for half a year and abstinance from P and M, it might all be overwhelming ur first experience, I guess its getting the right balance and tring not to freak out your close one.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
you won't get hook on the medicine, it's in case of emergency "your date"--- besides the medicine does not give you an instant hard-on. it's not an aphrodisiac pill. Your mind still needs to be thinking sexually and you really have to want the need of sex in order to make the medicine work. Believe it or not, if you was to masturbate once or three times before taking the medicine you still won't get an erection with the woman (just like without taking a pill). The pill just gives a boost. But if you still feel iffy don't use them but they definitely help me prolong my relationship while recovering.
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Go very gently on the pills route. I've been there and tried all there is. Sure they helped but they never recovered me to having erections like I had before all these problems came along. Sometimes the pills got me hard, othetimes they didn't. No matter what though, I noticed that they couldnt get me to maintain an erection without physical stimulation. They helped get the job done but they didn't cure it.

There is a knock on effect with the pills though that you need to be careful with when you're rebooting:

1) If you get a good erection, is it the pills that are doing it or the reboot?
2) Mentally you will become dependant on the pills and never feel that you can properly get it up without their help.

My advice is, lay off everything if at all possible and then prove to yourself that the reboot has worked on its own. The pills will just confuse your mind even more at this stage.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I agree with you. On the other hand, I still plan to use the medicine during my 90-day recovery. Once 90 days expired, I'm dropping the medicine. I believe within 90 days of no PMO, it is too risky to attempt sex on your own with a woman. The girl is not gonna understand why you are not keeping your erection or staying hard enough.
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When the doc suggested I go onto some medication I asked the question, Will being on the medication make it more difficult for me to perform when I come off the medication?? He had no answer simply to say, when people go on this type of medication they tend not to come off it for obvious reasons. If you're on it for "emergencies" over a long period of time and with constant use, you will find that once you come off it you will struggle to perform on your own. Thats just fact. I'd even recomend cutting down to half or quarter of a tablet and see how you go from there.

We're coming to terms with a mental issue re porn and mastrubation overdose. Thats one thing. What you don't want is another mental issue building that you cant perform without the aid of medication. Once you're on that path its very difficult to convince your mind otherwise.

All the best but take as little as you can.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I feel you. That makes sense but I always took that stuff in moderation. I was never the type of person to have sex on a daily basis. When my 90 days is up, I'll let everyone know where I stand mentally and physically.
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i agree , i have enough mental issues when it comes to sex beyond basic porn and masturbation addiction i'll always have a sense of anxiety if i will perform ok. If i take pills and they work well my mind will attribute the success to the pills and then i'll be anxious without them. I'm just gonna stay away from the P and M and stay away from fantasy as well. Not just for sex reasons but it generally does make you feel better. No more porn cloud and social anxiety so its a win win situation.
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i also suggest a healthy dose of Whitesnake daily lol
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Hey guys I'm having a really hard time here!!!  It's been 2 weeks and I'm really horny and want to watch porn so bad!!!  

This comes at a really bad time too, the girl that I had just started seeing - well, I had a chat with her.  I didn't talk about this specifically, but I told her I have some stuff to work through of the sexual nature and it's likely I won't be able to be sexually active for a time.  Told her that if she doesn't want to stick with me that's totally understandable, but she was COMPLETELY supportive and on board to stick with me through it.  Really awesome and surprising to me, figured she would say screw this loser.  Anyway, so I really am motivated to make it through this so that I can actually function with her someday but I want to watch porn so bad!!!!!!!!
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Just don't watch it you have been given a rare opportunity to still romance the girl you like and not have sex with her while you reboot. I would advise focusing fully on that, no porn no mb no fantasy. Go for a run, play a video game, just keep in mind the benefits of this compared to what it was like as an addict.
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Check out my post above. I use some of the techniques and they do work. I feel the cravings these days badly but i am resisting it.
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Ok gentlemen, I stopped masturbating to porn January the 1st, the first few weeks, I would skim at it, check out my fav porn sites for updates. I did it out of curiosity and to see how I would react, to see if I could have the will to fight it. I would never skim it for more then a minute or two. Never crossed my mind to masturbate to it. I did this cause I knew porn would always pop up, wheather on a business trip at a hotel, an email, etc.... After about a few weeks, never even crossed my mind to look at it or skim at it. With the porn going away, my long extended periods of masturbating in front of the computer went away.  After about a month, I tried to give up masturbating, that lasted 2 weeks. I still masturbate, but it's maybe once a day, or once every few days. Without the porn,I realised there is no fantasy, etc, to masturbate to. After about a week of masturbating to just thoughts of women I know, sexual experiances I had, the will to masturbate just left( guess my mind got bored of masturbating to the same thoughts and said screw it, I give up). When i do mastuerbate, It's either in the shower, or in bed at night......I wake up with great morning wood all the time......My story is I was a 100% addict of masturnating to porn, minutes, hours in front of the computer. It killed my sex life as far as normal sustained erections. January 1st I swore of porn for good. It has helped, I'm a differnt man, sexually, personally........ I did not buy fully into the "rebooting" process, give up masturbation, porn, for 60-90 days.........Sure that should help as studies have shown. But every person is differnt, every challenge is different. For me, letting go of porn was my goal, and I did that. It has helped my sex life like I can not describe it. Great erections, I get erected off a woman performing orals sex one me, and I stay hard. Am i back where I want to be as far as my erections and the 18 year old high school erections I long to have (I'm 38), I really don't know, only time will tell. But the challenge here was not getting my great normal erections back, the challenge was to get porn out of my life, then the healing process would begin.
       The first few weeks I gave up porn, I would just masterbate in the bathroom, the first week I would masterbate 3-4 times a day, after the first few weeks it went down to once or twice a day.....Here I am almost 2 months later masterbation is just somethig that pops up a few times a week or so, i don't even keep count of it anymore...... Guys this is just me and this is my advice, get porn out of your life, stop watching it. Go from there, if you feel the need to masturbate, do it, screw the rebooting process, I didn't worry about the rebooting process. I just wanted to stop watching and masturbating to porn, cause that was the root of the problem that ruined me seuxally and to a point personally. If I felt the urge to masturbate to porn, I ran to the bathroom and masturnbated. As I said earlier, that first week or two, was masturbating 3-4 times a day( after about a month, was maybe once a day)..But I knew my goal was to get the porn temptation, longing, out of my life. And I did it........... Mentally it has woked, I don't care about the upsates on my fav pornsites, don't care what new porn tubes are outthere....... It's still a battle, a process. once an addict always an addict..............
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Its a fair enough point you make, but don't underestiamte the power of this addiction on your mind and how it can play tricks on you. The reason why I am doing a full reboot this time is because last year i did exactly what you are doing. I got good results, by staying away from porn i felt great and when i got the urge i would masturbate just to the sensation of masturbating no fantasy. This is just my experience, but the thing is when you least expect it maybe two months down the line, some night you masturbate to a little fantasy, it all seems ok you are on the way to be nearly cured. The next night you do it again, you start masturbating more frequently. Suddenly you say i'll treat myself with a little porn, not the crazy stuff i used to like some normal wholesome porn. The next week a little more, the week after its every night. Soon enough all your conditioning has been broken and reversed and you start feeling awful again, ED problems, no confidence and anxiety. This is what happened to me last year. The thing is guys as addicts our brain is different from just average guys, we can't just masturbate whenever we like, we cant just masturbate to a little porn now and again. We need to accept that like an alcoholic we have a problem. So obviously that means staying away from porn but masturbation is closely linked and a drip by drip trigger for porn i think , as it feels good in the end. Leave it to the ladies, let them get ya off, for me its the only way i can see forward.
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Sooooooooo 38 days......restart, ******* strippers, i love strippers, have a bad thing for them.....

O well Day 1 again...its ok first relapse, this time no sex at all until i feel and no im ready
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Btw, no porn was used, just mental, but i felt disgusted.....and it was enough to get me to restart.
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That's great alexdallas.

Before I finished reading your story I already knew how old you were (or weren't). I knew you hadn't started on Internet porn, especially high-speed internet porn. I knew you had laready had sex with women - BEFORE using Internet porn.

There's a huge point emphasized over and over again at yourbrainonporn.  Men who had already wired to normal sexuality (ages 35-60), can often get their erections back without giving up orgasms (some can't, though)

If you read the ED & porn link, or rebooting link, or FAQ's they say that younger guys who started on Internet porn are having a really tough time, while some older guys - with ED - can get away with some orgasms. How much depends entirely on how much their brain has changed.

Your ease at giving up porn also indicates that you weren't as addicted as most guys. Most experience severe withdrawal symptoms and cravings, and most relapse into porn binges.

So it all comes down to how early you started Internet porn and how much you rewired to need that level of stimulation, and how severe your addiction was.

Congratulations

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Well ****. What is it about today?

Right there with you.
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Thanks for the kind words, but I must stress my addiction to masturbating to porn was about as consuming as anybody on this board, if not more. That I know for certain. I would spend minutues, hours at a time masturbating to porn tube sites, etc.... On Saturdays would start around 12pm, then all of a sudden turn around and look out the window and it was dark out( I am not kidding) 8-9 hour porn binges.... The sad thing is I have a very active sex life as I'm an attractive and fit gentleman. To be even more frank I joined a swingers website a few years ago. That's when I realised I had a problem with my erections. I would meet these great beautiful ladies, yet my erections were not there or would go away really fast. I figured it was nerves with a combination of masturbation. But always felt there was something more to it cause I was never really nervous meeting people for sex. And all my friends masturbate all the time yet none of them had ED problems when I confided in them........ I started masturnating to porn on the internet shorty after installing broadband internet in my house in 2003, and it was not until last year after research did I realise the effects of constant masturbating to porn does to your erections and sex life........... I tired to quit a few times starting last summer, but would fall off the wagon. The great thing is if I went a week without masturbation I would have great erections, but I was so addicted to masturbation plus watching the porn to enhance masturbation, that I could not stop. January 1st of this year I made a pledge to stop watching porn, but I did not stop masturbating. And I could not be more happy with the results. As I mentioned earlier, stopping masturbating to porn and masturbating together was not an option for me, it might be for a majority of the guys outthere trying to "reboot" but I knew I would likely fall off the wagon if I went that avenue. I'm 38, starting and stopping the "reboot" process everytime I fell off the wagon would just discourage me. So I said, you know what. Whenever I get the feeling to masturbate to porn, or something triggers me, I will just masturbate. No porn, no swingers websites pictures. Just masturbate in the bathroom.

      The first week or two my body and mind wanted porn, so I was masturbating 3-4 times a day when that thirst for it came at me. But after about a week and a half it went away. Then I started to masturbate to the thoughts of women I know, sexual experiances I had. But that got boring really fast. I was no longer turned on by that, and for the first time since I could remember, masturbation was pretty fruitless. The urge to masturbate hits me once a day or every few days or so and I do it, and it's a plesureable experiance. But not a consuming one. I have a very active sex life, and it's great. My confidence is great as I'm erected when i should. Honestly, it had been so long since I had great normal sustained erections, I don't really recall what they are. But what I have now is a far, far cry of my erections of the past 7 years( thats how long the porn ED has ruined me)......And I'm fully confident my erections will get better and even more sustained.

        As far as porn, it's gone. I have accepted what it did to me, what it is, that's it always there. I live alone and for the past 2 months could have browsed it, etc....... But as I said it's an afterthought now. Have no need for it. Was even at a buddies place last week and he had the Lindsey Lohan Playboy magazine on his desk. Looked it at, no big deal. 7 years of mastuernating to porn that often consumed my life, ruined me sexually( you have no iodea how many beautiful women I have disaapointed) took so much of time from me. I was an addict, and I realised how it was just eating away at my core.
       When I started on my journey to quit porn last December, sure, my intention was to quit masturbating to porn to get great erections so that I could have sex like an animal; But as i did more and more research I realised that my motivation should not be the great sex, but it should be getting rid of my porn addiction and all dibelitating effects that go with it........... That's why I quit. And I'm not going back. I have no shame in what i say, I just don't want any man, esecially the young men out there to get consumed by masturbating to porn like I was.It was a horrid, horrid addcition that damaged my really beyond words can express at this moment. It's not real guys, it's porn. Your real, your sex life is real.
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Im pretty sure we both started around the same time aswell hah. Lets do it again brother! we can do it this time!
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I relapsed yesterday too....I was 45 days in....I still can't believe it.
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2022414 tn?1329666048
I almost relapsed yesterday...damn!

[IMG]http://www.medhelp.org/tickers/show/141871/horizontal[/IMG]
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Day 16, still staying strong all I can think about now is sex lol, its quite difficult this. I picked a bad week to give up smoking.
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relapse #2 in 24hours hahah! well this one i had a close girlyfriend send me a lovely picture message.....silly women! I thought stuff it, get one last one in otherwise ill be hanging...i was really pissed at myself so i bailed to the gym, i feel much better now.

So it has begun! Start or round 2! Wish me luck hah
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day 36 today but still no morning wood without thinking about something sexual. I looked at pics yday and got hard but no masturbation or porn. not going to bother look at pics again. should my libido still be this flat. the girl i like has broke up with her boyf so i reckon  soon im going to have a chance of being sexual with her. a while back i couldnt get it up with her and am worried since my libido feels so flat it might happen again
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1828226 tn?1323568848
its been 30 something days for you so you should see some improvement. what I recommend you should do from this point on is don't touch your penis at all and don't peep at any porn/pics. And stop worrying about your libido, it's there, trust me!
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yeah its just a bit annoying when you dont know if u can get up in a given situation. im only 24 but the porn i was watching got more and more extreme. Jus wondering have you had a successful reboot
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I know how you feel man, im on day 16 and I'm struggling with urges, I sometimes have morning wood and sometimes dont, to be honest it can be killer hard to get out of bed when you do. I do worry how I will perform, I have been in two sexual situations since rebooting both ended with me being very hard but initially both times I was quite dead down there, it was almost like my penis wasnt awake and it took 15mins for it to realise it might actually get some, weird (sorry for being graphic). One thing occurred to me recently the further i got into porn and the further my ED progressed i noticed i was always hard during foreplay but for some reason when it came to sex and during sex i always lost my erection. Now I don;t seem to get erections as much during foreplay more when im closer to sex? Could be because my ED had fully developed to its most extreme form i guess, were nothing gets you off but porn, awful place to be... Sorry im just going on, I have heard this works and very well and think about it it's worth getting away from that addiction whatever happens. For me anyway its much better than before , im doing it for me not just to impress girls sexually.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
make sure you are dealing with a girl that is beautiful to you (someone you wanna kiss maybe)...lol... so you can determine in fact if your libido is kicking in when it is suppose to.
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Just wondering, anyone here smoke marijuana? If so the frequency in which you smoke in (daily, once a week, once a month)? Anyone done any experiments changing their frequency?

I used to be daily and had PMO issues. So early December I explained what I had learned from this forum to a buddy and we both agreed in theory everything here sounds about right. I've been on and off but for the most part off P and once every other week with M. I'm looking to cut both out permanently.

Around mid-december the same buddy and I decided to reduce our marijuana intake from daily to once a week. I found it offers much more clarity in my head. I'm now considering doing it every other week.

Anyone experimented with this?
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1923088 tn?1338603606
love_a_challenge is correct

I don't feel my libido unless something sparks my interest and leave that porn alone.  You may even feel your libido kick in if your sitting next to the lady or she is wearing something that you find sexy.  Hang in there.
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Gahh, haha - same here. I figured that since I'd relapsed once yesterday, I may as well make the most of the day, likely to the added detriment of my reboot. Thankfully, that meant that cravings today were largely non-existent.
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I am 18 and cannot have sex with my girlfriend. However, I do get morning erections...does this mean that porn induced ED is not my problem? I feel like it is but I'm confused because everyone seems to be saying that this is part of the recovery but I already am getting them. Someone please help!
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1828226 tn?1323568848
its part of the recovery for anyone who wasn't getting them before. If you are masturbating to porn on a regular basis then you may be porn induced. Try masturbating without porn. If you struggle from this then you are porn induced. If you are porn induced, stay away from porn and masturbation for at least 30 days to see some sort of improvement in your everyday sex life with real women.
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Hi I am on my 80th day, Can I have intercourse with my wife during booting process. Please reply me soon
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1923088 tn?1338603606
If you are up to 80 days I'd say GO FOR IT!!!!

Just relax and let things flow, don't get your mind locked on worrying if your equipment is going to work or not.

Good Luck
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2022414 tn?1329666048
Almost relapsed today!WTF?
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I had suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch a good wet dream 2 nights ago...it was the first real wet dream i had in a long time(i would usually had wet dreams about me watching porn). I dreamt of 2 girls that i know in person "giving a hand" to each other(could count as porn but there is a difference - earlier i would have dreams about me watching porn on tv or computer but now i was simply watching them doing it, like i was standing right next to them) . I was so excited that i again had an orgasm in my dream, it was sooooooo freaking sexy. I am starting to think more and more about having sex with women and less and less about watching porn so i think the reboot process is starting to kick in but i have serious cravings these days...

About mastrubation, this is how i view it - when i first stopped mastrubating my erectal health was very very bad, i had symptoms of sexual exhaustion, but if you can get hard with no problems watching porn but you can't get hard as easilly when using your imagination on real girls, i really dont see the problem in you mastrubating in your reboot process after a couple of weeks when you get your libido back, especially if you are single. But i had a different sort of problem. When i first tried abstaining from PMO 4-5 months ago i coudnt get any kind of erection, i had semenal leakege, premature ejaculation, watery semen...now my erections are strong and my sperm quality is good even though i relapsed quite a few times.
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Day 17 feeling good, i still dont feel like masturbation is the way to go, without porn I could still always fantasize and imagine some pretty crazy **** as bad as the porn. I want to get from it all, a full break from it.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
Porn has poisoned our minds, its best that you don't fantasize about crazy stuff.  I remember when I first started the rebooting process,  I had this one scene and porn star etched in my mind.  Which was pretty much the last dose of porn I had prior to rebooting.  I forced myself to stop thinking about it because it was just as bad as viewing the porn.  If I had to fantasize it would be about a real woman and I did not M, edge or or touch myself.

Avoid the porn and porn induced fantasies and it will make the process much easier.
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Hey everyone, I have been hanging around the forums for a long time but I haven't posted much. I'd like to thank everyone for being so open about their personal problems regarding porn addiction and sexual dysfunction, it has really helped to keep me motivated during this process.

I would like to share my story as well as some things that I have noticed during my rebooting attempts. So I have been looking at porn since I was about 13-14, it started off with really short clips I downloaded (streaming porn wasn't available yet, thankfully). Eventually as internet speeds increased I began to watch porn more and more frequently. When I was 21 I had a chance to lose my virginity, but because of anxiety and probably porn induced erectile dysfunction I was unable to perform. About 3 months after this I had an encounter with another girl and the same old thing happened, couldn't perform multiple times, had weak erections etc. and so began a deep depression and even worse porn addiction. Over the next 4 years I was unable to have normal sex, occasionally my erection would be strong enough for penetration but it never really felt very good.

When I turned 25 I began dating a girl, I had the usual problems and I associated it with anxiety (which I believe is still a component to this issue for most of us), she was very understanding, I got a prescription for cialis and through lots of patience and trial and error i was able to have somewhat normal sex with her. I attribute this to the anxiety issues subsiding, my porn use lowered a lot (hard to look at porn a lot when you live with a girl) and my penis eventually becoming sensitized to a vagina rather than my hand. Anyways, we eventually broke up, I went back to porn and the same old problems resurfaced.

Last year I stumbled across this forum and your brain on porn and I decided to reboot. I made it 35 days and noticed some big improvements, I was able to have decent sex... usually assisted by Cialis. But, I fell back into PMO and had the same issues come back again. So I figured I would cut porn out completely, but I still masturbated. I have looked at porn twice in the last 7 months, but up until recently I still masturbated to fantasy frequently. For me, masturbating to fantasy caused the same problems as using porn and I attribute this to the fact that after so much porn viewing my mind can recreate porn pretty well so basically I feel that fantasy=porn until you let your mind get back to having a healthy relationship with sex.

So now i am on day 22 of no PMO or fantasy, I'm noticing improvements and I am committed to never watching porn again, and not masturbating for 90 days and then see where I am at. I'll try and keep everyone posted. Thanks again.

CLIFF NOTES: In my experience fantasy and masturbation have the same effects as PMO.
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Cheers for opening up bro.

I will have to agree with both you and ghost, i can recall the last scene i looked at, and i get a nice rush from it, even when thinking about it, im trying to block it out but its so bloody hard.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
Thanks for sharing your experience.

Just stay away from porn wipe it all off your computer without "Let me check this out one last time" just delete it.  As for the thoughts I found out that if you don't entertain them the images will fade and the rush will fade also.  Damn sounds just like a drug doesn't it.

Hang in there!!!!
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Ha! it really is like a drug. Bit of a stressful day and I can feel it pulling at me to indulge, no way.

Day 18
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2) I have a girlfriend at the moment, am I allowed to say, still be involved in sexual activity with her? so instead of me masturbating, we have sex when were together? Or has it ALL got to be eliminated?

3) After I feel more aroused and I feel 'fixed' what do I do from then on? If I masturbate will I fall back into the cycle (Am I allowed to mastrubate ever again?)

4) By not masturbating, then only doing things with a girl, surely I'm not going to last 2 seconds? I mean, what if I dont do anything for a month?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
2) If you can stay away from sex completely for 30 days at least, that would be great. But if you can't because your gf likes to have sex then try having sex with her but staying away from porn and masturbation for 30 days so you can see some improvement. But overall your improvement would be faster if you had no sex, no porn and no masturbation at all for at least 30 days.

3) Once you feel you are fix, masturbating is okay once in a while but I prefer to stay away from it completely. But I don't think that's possible so masturbating once in a while should be fine but definitely don't go back to masturbating to porn because that would shut you down mentally and take you back to your old ways.

4) you probably will bust real fast but if that is the case, chill for like 10-15 minutes and go for a round #2, round #2 should be much better.
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Guys I made it a month without masturbation or porn !
The weirdest thing is that it wasn't hard at all. Since I quit porn I have a lot of extra free time, and I'm focusing it all on self improvement. Some days I'm so busy that I completely forget about the whole porn and ED problem.
I caught myself tempting to look at porn at few occasions, but I stopped myself.
I'm thinking of sex more, but real sex, not the porn version. I feel that the change is good, but being horny and not getting any is quite hard. I don't think that I will be able to stay without masturbation forever, but I'm planning on doing it with only 2 fingers and no porn/fantasy. Although, if I follow the self improvement plan I made, I should be getting a girlfriend in less than 3-5 months.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
2> If you can manage it with out causing major relationship problems avoid sex for 30 days.  If you can't then just have sex with her it would be best not to use any ED pills.  If you can't get it up then give her oral until she's cross eyed!!!

3> Once you are recovered you probably can M once in a while just not to porn.  That's a personal decision that you have to make for yourself.  For myself I feel that I've masturbated enough to last a life time LOL.  I hope I maintain that state of mind.

4> You have a girlfriend so once you get back in the saddle you should be able to last a decent amount of time.  Once you are recovered your sensitivity will be off the charts!!!  I had to use Jedi mind tricks on myself to postpone O in record breaking times.  

Not being terrorized by the thought of not getting it up is well worth it.

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great man! i cant wait for that day when im struggling not to O as opposed to freaking out i cant get it up.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
That's great!!!
I actually went the self improvement route myself.  I started reading more which helps kill a lot of that idle time.  

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Hi, please give me advice with my situation.

Recently I tried having sex for the first time.  It was in a car and I was really uncomfortable.  Kissing and getting naked gave me a semi-erection.  No oral was given to me, and she didnt touch my penis once.  Wasn't pleasant at all.

Been M'ing to P for about 6-7 years, not every day, probably average once every 3 days, but use P 99% of the time.  Will usually edge for 30-60 minutes before finally having orgasm.  However, even when I P to M, I get morning erections about every 3-4 days, sometimes even the morning after.  I was 3 days into no PMO tonight, but I relapsed.  I noticed I could get 100% hard just by touch because of my libido, and the erection was just there, so I decided to M using P.

Since I get morning erections and can get hard voluntarily after 3 days no PMO, I think my ED was just nervousness (was very nervous about pleasing her and performing well), poor foreplay on her part and because of the cramped space.

So do you think I have a porn ED problem or was it just anxiety related?  Im worried about trying again with another woman.  I am 21 years old, and given how I respond so well to virtually no rebooting progress, I think it was just psychological.

What do you think?  Can you give me advice please?  Thank you in advance.
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You have got to ask yourself if your P & M has become a problem? Alot of people do it who are just fine with it, and don't end up addicted or it's not the massive rush and escape that it is for say me (which leads to major problems, ED , work and social issues). I generally don't look at porn or masturbate as a general life rule now and its not so much about erections but it is changing my life so much for the better. I also think fantasy is a problem, to much is bad, you do sound like your going down a bad route with that edging business. Thats how it all begins the delayed pleasure, the hit, the rush, the depression, chronic anxiety. Think, how does any of that fit into normal sex with a woman, your wiring the sexuality in your brain different. Sex is two people having a good time and sharing affection and something physical. Think about it i guess.
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Does anyone know how ben213 is getting on?
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Hello, guys

I'm new here, but I've been on the no pmo route since last year. I started my reboot on January and I was 47 days with no pmo and minimal fantasy. But that changed 4 days ago. I relapsed. Hard. I binged. I felt so ashamed at myself. I feel like a failure. Everyday since then, except one, I relapsed. I feel like I am on the bootom of the well again. I will make some new "security" measures so that I don't relapse again, but this really surprised me. Things were going really smootlhy through the reboot. And finally when my flatline was coming to an end, I had this relapse. It really is like a drug. I'm so sensitised that when I look at a pic, or enter a chat room, it's like I wake up 2 hours later, after a huge binge. Im fairly young. I'm 19, so I guess my reboot will take much longer. I'm not excited at all about the future, right now, because I know that these last day pulled me way back on the reboot.
Anyways, I just wanted to say this to you guys. Hope that I can help somebody and be helped.




Palpaeit, you seem to know a lot about the recovery. If my flatline was starting to fade about day 45, how long do you think it takes for a full recovery? Thank you all
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There's a therad about that on YBOP. If I remember correcly it suggests that you try masturbating without porn fantasy, only with sensual touch. If you get an erection, then it was probably anxiety. I cannot do such a thing. But perhaps you'll want to give up porn not because of ed, but because your mood will get better and mostly because there won't be an addiction in your life
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1923088 tn?1338603606
Welcome to the group.

What caused you to relapse?
If you made it 47 days that's a good accomplishment.  Don't be to hard on yourself this process is not easy.  I don't think your at the bottom of the well you just slipped down a little.  Brush off your knees and get back to rebooting.

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Thanks for the kind words. What I think caused me to relapse was a breakup, stress from the end of vacations and coming back to med shcool. And on top of that was the diminishing of the flatline. I could feel my libido rising. Anyways, it won't happen again
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Just an update and hopefully some hope for some of you out there...I went 13 days with no P or M and last night I just had sex with my girlfriend and it felt great. You guys can do this! Now I'm curious though, can I go back to doing P and M in addition to having sex with my girlfriend or will this become a problem again?
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it will definetly become a problem again. It seems that even your ed is cured, orn still has a hold on you. If I were you, I would abstain for some more time.
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It definitely still has a hold on me :( i just p & m'd right now :( now I have to start over and hope the girlfriend doesn't find out
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1828226 tn?1323568848
well now that  you p&m you will see how your mind psychologically interract with your gf if you choose to have sex with her real soon.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
"Now I'm curious though, can I go back to doing P and M in addition to having sex with my girlfriend"

The addiction is playing tricks on you.

"Porn = Poison" for your libido, an actual woman can not compete with the levels of dopamine produced by porn.  It may also take away from the emotional aspects of your relationship.

Try to eliminate porn from your life.
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So I just slipped and looked at porn for about 15 minutes, but I didn't touch my penis at all. Should I consider this a relapse ?
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And... I relapsed. After 34 days. I don't feel horrible about it because I don't think that all of the progress was lost, but it definitely set me back at least 2 weeks.
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can anybody tell me free porn filter software.. other than K9 web protection?
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Add me on the relapse list as well...this is my 5th relapse(yea, it is getting kinda of annoying) since i began abstaining from PMO.

It was a wierd day. I had another wet dream and another orgasm when i woke up on that thursday morning. I hate when that happens since that gives me the cravings the whole day. So while the day was passing i ran onto a erotic story. Now this part makes me feel sick about myself. Instead of just leaving the website i kept reading and i got a boner. And instead of stopping there i shut down my porn blocker on my computer and went to read erotic stories, where i found a story that made me so horny, so i mastrubated and that is how i relapsed. I was horny about real life girls these days but i don't think i needed that relapse, not at all...now i don't feel horny anymore...it's tough, it's so freaking tough. I was close to opening up porn again today but this time i resisted somehow. I noticed people who have a girlfriend or who do have opportunities to have sex are less prone to relapsing. I got rejected by a girl that i like a couple of days ago. It made me feel lonely again and it's not helping...

Oh well...back on the saddle again...
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hi guys, i visited this site about 6-7 months ago. I noticed my erections were not as hard as they used to be... it made me think about my sexual life... it was a really hard proces for me... very confronting... wtf have i been doing all these years... i tried quiting P/M immediately... but never stayed "clean" for more than 2 weeks. Now i understand that masturbating for hours was just wrong and not natural...i used to be a very horny guy... but now i'm just dull... sex isn't on my mind anymore, so weird... it's like i don't even want it...

I am 26 yo virgin. I used porn & masturbation from the age of 14 or smth but only "temporarely"... until i would find the right girl.  i had possibilities to have sex, but i just waited for the right girl... i only want 1... that's all i needed and ever wanted. And now i'm ******; cuz i found her... i havent masturbated since i met her like 3 weeks ago... and now its really easy for me to quit P/M, i finally reached that state of mind that i don't need P/M anymore, because i want HER. i like her soooo much, she's amazing. we're in love and have awesome time together. this is the moment if been waiting for all my life... i wanted to save myself for that 1 Person... and now i'm so nervous to have sex with her... it will have to happen in a week or 2... and i have no frigging idea if i will be able to perform because i never had sex.... if i will fail... i am afraid i will be depressed or smth ://///  i feel so insecure now, goddamnit, stupid porn. us guys, should be the ones who want to have sex ASAP and not the other way around... i know she wants sex now already.... but i'm frigging scared... so sad. i was lured in in good faith... and i hope it didn't damage my penis permanently... plz gimme some help guys... should I tell her? she will think i'm a sex addict creep or smth... while i'm a really nice guy... just didn't know that what i was doing all these years was bad for me & my libido............. will it ever be normal again like it was before? :((
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Dont tell her, whatever you do, i know this sounds easier said than done but dont worry so much about the sex as well. Of course that is laughable coming from me, as ive worried about see beforehand the majority of times i have done it. The thing is your mind is changing now as you are physically due to this process, everything will work out fine and go well.
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my last relapse sent me directly to a deep flatline again. Annoying, but at least I know I didn't get back to day 1.

dldl, like someguy85 said, try not to worry that much. It's hard, but if you're relaxed, it will make a big difference. And stay away from porn in this week you have before you have sex with her. It will make a big difference
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23 days, keep going guys the benefits keep coming, its damn hard though lol
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1923088 tn?1338603606
For me today is a special day I have made it 100 days without PMO.  For those who don’t know I am 45 years old and have been suffering from this since about 1999.

If someone would have told me that I’d be able to accomplish this I would have called them crazy.  Once I got past a certain point it became normal and the urge to M faded away.  As far as P I removed it all from my computer, unsubscribed from my favorite P forum.  I remember when I contacted the owner and asked him to change my email address to something random and to alter my password because I was quitting the site.  His exact words were “You’ll be back; guys do this all the time and come back in less than a week”.  Now if that doesn’t sound like a drug pusher what does???!!!

My energy level is higher, I’m stronger at the gym, my mind appears to be sharper, the way I talk and use words has changed for the better, I feel more confident, I notice women a lot more now, everyday women can get mentally excited and more.

I am happy beyond words that I found this website and yourbrainonporn.com the education and sharing has been priceless.
I was thinking the other day of all the nice sexy women I let slip away because I knew I would not be able to satisfy them sexually because of my P induced ED.  

Men, there is gold at the end of the rainbow but as with anything in life it MUST be earned by your discipline and dedication to rebooting.
Now I need to fine a steady woman :-)


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2022414 tn?1329666048
Relapsed after 46 days and now I feel like sh*t...
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I know how you feel, man. The exact same thing happened to me. The most important thing you have to do now is staying away from porn any further. Seriously, the chaser effect, at least in my case, was BRUTAL. I relapsed again everyday in almos the entire following week. And just so that you know. It wasn't THAT much progress that I lost. I think it was about 10/15 days (but keep in mind that it was a series of relapses).
Right after the relapses, I also felt like ****. Almost suicidal. But don't forget that we guys in forum need to stick together. We are not alone in this 'fight'
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2022414 tn?1329666048
I know...I'm happy I can share my thoughts here on the forum...the catch is that I relapsed because of a serious arguing with my girlfriend...damn...I really hope it won't take me back that much...
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1977392 tn?1328196404
what about you erection?  Does your erection returned? its my 9 days without PMO so far..
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2022414 tn?1329666048
Day 1 after relapse...my head hurts a lot and I have blurry mind...I have to say that I didn't feel any satisfaction after the M from yesterday...
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1923088 tn?1338603606
Its only a small set back.

Hey its important that you remember the dissatisfaction that you feel now and the headache after relapsing and M.  If you feel yourself slipping in the future take a moment and reflect on how you are feeling now and hopefully that will give the strength and will power to make it.

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Tell me what you think please, desperately seeking opinions.

Watch porn once every 2 days on average, masturbation sessions last about an hour (edging until climax)

-Only got a semi erection first time having sex.  
-Have gone 4 days no PMO now, have erections every morning.  This morning I was late for school because my erection wouldnt go down for 10-15 minutes (im talking rock hard)
-Dreamt about sexual things those nights, including 2 lesbians on day 3 (my go to porn genre)

I think Im trying to blame my performance anxiety on porn.  Porn ED sufferers dont get morning wood at all, Ive had it for the first 5 days of no PMO.

I can get an erection just by touching myself with no porn or fantasy.

Was this anxiety or is it because of porn?  Seeking insight please.
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well, if you can get an erection just by touching yourself, without porn, that sure means something. How were you feeling when you were about to have sex? Maybe it was just nervousness. But, like you mentioned, there's a "pornification" of your dreams haha. If I were you, I would stop the PMO and try to have sex again. YBOP suggests a "test" to determine wether it's porn-related or not, wich is basically trying to masturbate just with sensual touch, and you said you managed to do that. So I'm guessing it's mainly anxiety, wich is good (no cravings, relapses, etc). Try to relax and tell us how it went. Let's see what the other forum members think
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Hi im here bc I need help!!! my bf has been masturbating to porn on a regualr basis for a very long time looong before I even knew him. im 20 and he juuust turned 31. we have been dating for over a year now and i was having problems bc we werent having sex on a regualr basis we never really have...more in the beginning thaan now tho fer sure..anyways i caught him mastubating to porn one morning even tho the night before we had sex and i asked him if he wanted to have sex n he said no...so than i did some snooping and realized he had a problem with porn and maturbating...he maturbating at least 3times a week if not more and having sex with me once every 2 weeks....he knows i will do anythign in bed and im young and hot so i just dont get it! he has started not watching porn and not maturbating since early january....we have been having sex since then once a week maybe. but still really no change...is there anythingn i can do to help this process more or anything i shouldnt do?! please help me im getting desperate!!! I just wanna have sex with my bf and i just want him to wanna have sex with me...
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Here's another good article on wheter you're addicted or not. http://yourbrainonporn.com/are-you-hooked-on-porn-ask-asam
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Avatar universal
If i were you, id wait for a couple of more days to see if the flatline appears, but you seem fine. Back when i was in puberty couple of days without mastrubation would again give me rock hard erections again but that was when the hormones were raging inside of me. If you are still a teenager(you didn't specify how old are you) i think its safe to say that you don't have a problem, but still, i would stop watching porn or limit mastrubation to about 3-4 times a week. Mastrubation should not be your daily habit simply because it did become your daily habit, but something that you do when you get horny when you see a pretty girl or you watched something on tv. Going to porn sites everyday so i can mastrubate is something that gave me the addiction - i wasn't mastrubating because i was getting horny, i was mastrubating because i wanted to get horny and there is a difference, belive me.

About the chaser effect...true story...it ruined my PMO effort once and it almost ruined my efforts twice...
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Avatar universal
Well, the first thing you should know is that IF he's an addict, he will need extraordinary will power to stop. And most importantly, he will need to WANT to stop.
For me, the thing that helped the most was this site: www. yourbrainonporn.com . It made me understand what I was doing to myself and what I had to do to get my sex life back on track.
Try telling him that you really want to have sex more frequently and that you think that if he stopped watching porn, that would happen. Show him the site afterwards. Don't expect a good reaction, though. This kind of request can be seen as quite humiliating, because it might imply that he's not good enough to please you.
Anyways, hope I helped.
Tell us how it went and try to introduce him to the forum
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Avatar universal
You are pushing this matter, your bf should have no orgasms whatsoever in the first couple of weeks at least. His brain needs a break from orgasms, even though he isnt watching porn while he is having sex with you. Many of the guys here on the forum had problem with their sexual performance when they started, after a couple of weeks of no orgasms whatsoever some of them said that they could have succesful sex with good erections, but still they were not cured. Having regular sex in the recovery process is going to slow down the rebooting process, especially if your bf is not getting a couple of weeks of break. It is quite normal for guys during the recovery process not to be horny, it is something you shouldn't push...
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we already had a huge fallout i should him this site and everything and he realized he had a problemm and he said he really did want to stop so like i said he put blocker s ont he computer and his phone so he couldnt acess anything...the first week of him nto watching he wanted to have sex twice tht week which ia unheard of lol....now i can barely get a reaction outta him....he said he wants to try n not have sex as long as possible to see if tht will make him  want it more but on saturdays we usually get drunk n end up having sex...but tht is seriously the only day we never randomly have sex anymore and trust me he knoooows I want to have sex. im outta answers
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welll he was starting to get blue balls after the first 5 days he said he needed a release bc it wouldnt go away so we had sex i didnt push it at all i said we can wait as long as u can go....but knowing he shouldnt be having sex at all i will not push it he also works at a strip club he has worked there fro 10yrs idk if that can also slow down the progres...but he hates h  is job and most of the girls there...
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Just checking in, doing a progress report along with some questions. So tomorrow will be day 30 of no PMO. From about day 10-20 I had a huge libido, I just wanted to have sex with someone (porn doesn't even register as an option... well rarely anyways), I could hardly handle it. At around day 22 I got a handjob from a girl I'm seeing, I didn't need to fantasize, my erection was decent about 80% and I came... which is a huge improvement, that would not have happened before the reboot started. However, it's day 30 I'm not getting morning wood, I don't get spontaneous erections and my libido seems to be crashing again (it did this for the first week, which as I understand is normal). So for all of you who have made it 60+ days I'd like to know if/when you noticed more normal erections... I just need to a bit of positive reinforcement so I don't scrap the reboot, even though I know it is helping.
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Avatar universal
When you commit yourself to no PMO there can be no release, blue balls, no blue balls, libido or no libido. Having sex, even once in a week, during the rebooting process, slow down the progress...
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I disagree with that, I think the more you are able to have sexual experiences with real women the better. It probably helps rewire your brain to normal stimulation rather than the hyperstimulation of porn... So I'd say, if you're able to have sex without having ED issues, go for it... if there are still issues I'd hold off because it can really mess with your confidence and cause a relapse.
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Avatar universal
Well having sex can benefit you, but you still need a no orgasm period of at least 2-3 weeks for your brain to get a break, especially if you are trying to have sex but not feeling like wanting to have sex, if you are not really horny.
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actually i dont think he has nevver had a problem with ed issues the problem with that i g uess is he genna never go for rouund 2 ever bc he can never get hard again but hte main problem here is  hes just never horny anymore!  before he would rather jack off to porn than have sex. he said it was bc he was too lazy sometimes to have actual sex lol...now thth he isnt doing tht anymroe he just has no desire even tho apparently he isnt masturbating or looking at porn...is that normal?
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i apprecaite the feedback tho btw thanks so much
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I agree with that, but once you feel ready I think it is beneficial.
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2022414 tn?1329666048
Had a horrible day...even thought about a relapse to calm me down...didn't do it, but damn I failed 2 tests today!
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I just read some of you're stories and I'm inspired. I also really need to stop masturbating as well lol.  What are some good tips??  I already decided to definitely stay away from porn.
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Hi, I'm new to this forum. I am a 36 year old married male who has been masturbating since I was 19, and masturbating to porn for the past 10 years. I have now stopped for 2 weeks and have experiences many of the low libido symptoms as described in the video. I desperately want to get healthy since my wife and I want to begin having children. Unfortunately, it is a challenge to both get an erection, and an even bigger challenge to sustain one.

I'm hoping to get cured soon. I know that everyone responds differently to rebooting, but curious as to the average amount of team people experienced before getting healthy again?
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1923088 tn?1338603606
Hey there and welcome to the group.

It takes different amounts of time for your mind to heal, due to your age you may be on the faster side of the scale.  Personally I believe that if you are serious about rebooting and totally eliminate porn and masturbation you can cut down the amount of time that it takes.

But I can tell you that it works.  

Good luck!!!
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I'm on the mend, but I have two prospects with new women tomorrow night. I'm very tempted to break my current streak so that I can avoid some of the sensitivity issues that I experienced last time (that is, I went extremely quickly). Is this recommended? A condom will diminish some of the issue, but I guarantee it will go relatively fast.
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Avatar universal
I think you should read this article, it explains the process well

http://yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-with-a-partner

Your partner can get hard easier on porn then with you because he is an addict and its one of the key symptoms, never mind the erectal disfunction. And he really needs a break from sex and mastrubation and porn. You need to take it slow. Porn addiction is very tough, i can say that in my personal expirience. I cant tell you how many times i have relapsed and tried again. It is very hard and you need to be there for your boyfriend if you want to be with him. Take it slow. It is a slow process that lasts for months. Regular sex that you had is slowing things down. If you didnt have regular sex your boyfriend should have been alot better, or even cured after 3 months.
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Avatar universal
Do the simple task stay away from PMO for 3 - 4 months. No need to keep asking uncalled questions. After that u should be ok if porn is the cause or any other psychological factor.
Those relapsing  need to wake up and focus. If u are really ready u must be prepared to eliminate all factors. I only use pc at work and at home I only use it for Netflix and school homeworks. And i a used to it now I use iPhone for other things like email and this site. There is no excuse for relapsing. U must make some sacrifice!
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1923088 tn?1338603606
That about sums it up Ashawo,

I look at porn like Crack.

If you care kicking the habit you can't sniff Cocaine instead of smoking it and think you are going to be drug free.

Or and Alcoholic I who is trying to become clean so he stops drinking hard liquor and just drinks beer.

Make up your mind put on your Big Boy pants and STOP!!

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Thanks for your advise. Now I am able to intercouse with my wife, she enjoyed it. It lasts more than 30 minutes. But now I found I struggle to ejaculte on time and left unsatisfied. Is this delayed ejaculation problem? Still its a part of a Porn induced one.I dont know what I need to do. How long it would take for complete recovery..Please respond me soon.. .
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1828226 tn?1323568848
to me it sounds like you reach your orgasm peak and chose not to orgasm and once you tried to get it back you couldn't.... Next time you have sex with your wife orgasm your body is ready to, relax a lil bit and then go for a 2nd round with your wife.
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30 days tomorrow, really hard going nearly relapsed all weekend as i was very stressed with a couple of things. Still keep going i guess.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
love_a_challenge has a good point.

If you suppress your orgasm sometimes its very hard to release once you past that point.  Good thing you wife is happy though :-)

You may have to relearn yourself when it comes to controlling your orgasm.



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Guys, I need your help. I'm on a relapse streak. I can't stop!
It's like I'm on autopilot. There's currently no girl in my life, and I guess that's an important reason.
I start naively in a sex related topic on the internet. And always progress to webcam chat porn! I already have a k9 installed in my notebook, but I learned how to go through it. And my ipad isn't blocked and I don't know how to block it. Should I only use my notebook on the living room? I'm so sad about this....after the relapses I get almost suicidal....this addiction is ruining my life...Please give me practical tips so that I don't have the opportunity to relapse.
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Well, I have never been happier to find such a thread. Im 17 and I've been on P/M since I was 13. It wasn't really a problem since i never was dating or anything. Thing is, now i got a girlfriend. I've been with her for a month now. I met her about 12 times maybe, and never have I got an erection. It pisses me off so much because i get morning boners all the time and boners randomly throughout the day. I want to move to the next step and go oral, but I'm worried I dont get hard. I'm 99% sure its from the porn, and I'm doing my best to stop it. The problem is, everytime after I see her, I feel like i MUST watch or my balls will blow up. I don't know what I should do honestly. I also wanted to know, how long of abstinence from P/M is needed so that I'm back to normal, or at least able to achieve erection.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
I'm 99% sure your problem is porn also.

Leave the porn alone!!!  

I know at 17 Blue Balls can be hellish.  You are a young man do not let porn destroy your life.  In your case if you must M do it thinking about your girlfriend not Suzy Sex ****.  At age 17 she should be saying dammit is sex all you think about??!!!!  Take the step take control of your life and enjoy it!!!

Leave the porn alone!!!
Leave the porn alone!!!
Leave the porn alone!!!
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1828226 tn?1323568848
if chatrooms are one of your weakness then you need to stay away from it while you reboot.
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Hi guys, to those who remember me, I'm back and I have gone over 100 days without PMO...

I finally was able to test things out with a girl the last month and things were great...I banged for hrs and hrs, and now when I think about her or any other girl in public I get woodies all day now...I feel like I'm cured...

This weekend I had sex with my new GF 7 times in 2 days...I still use Cialis for a boost, but I'm also pretty strong without it...

The post I'm making now is the kind of post I wish someone had written when I first got here, so that I would have something to look forward too...I mean your libido is gonna be absolutely non-existent until you find a girl willing to have sex with you on a consistent basis, that's just the godamn truth...But once you get that feeling (given the fact you've laid off porn for 30-90 days), it all comes back..It's almost indescribable...

4 weeks ago I felt like I had no hope..Today I can't believe I ever thought such a silly notion...SO I wanna say it, don't give up newcomers...You will feel lost, alone, and tragically up and down based on withdrawal, but once you're back, you're back with a vengeance...

The only problem I'm facing (and I'm hoping for help and advice) is that I'm finding it difficult to *** inside of her (especially with a condom on--and condoms suck right about now given my reboot)...

I find myself constantly having to pull out and handy myself (or have her handy me) just to Orgasm..It';s been the one thing that has bothered me, and I'm also wondering if having to handy myself is hurting the endgame process for me...Is there any advice on this that works?

Other than that, it's not too bad, because I am wrecking this current girl...SHe has no complaints, but moving forward with her basically becoming my girl I wouldn't mind popping inside of her, but as for the rest..I hope my story gives many of you what I so desperately wanted in the beginning which is HOPE...
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very inspirational lol. I am on day 1 and it looks like I have a long way to go. My wish is that I can get an erection next week when I see my girl, but I think i might be wishing for the impossible. I keep getting tempted to watch just that one video and I'm trying my best to stop it. yourbrainonporn is such a good website, i had no idea about it before. It is very helpful, informative, and convincing. Glad I found this community. wish me luck everyone
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1923088 tn?1338603606
Banged her for hours & hours actually had me laughing over here.

Good report on your progress and I'm sure its inspirational of others walking the path of rebooting.  

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1923088 tn?1338603606
You want and erection in a week but your are tempted to watch just that one video???

Self control & discipline must become your best friends.  Get rid o all of your porn videos, saved stuff on your computer etc.  Break the grip that porn has on you.





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1828226 tn?1323568848
this may sound selfish but the next time you have sex with your gf (with the condom on) do not hold back your orgasm the first time you feel it coming. you need to assure yourself you can ejaculate with a condom on. if the condom is too tight or too thick for your penis then you're using the wrong condom for your penis. what is the exact name of the condom you're using?
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Hello everyone.  I've been watching this forum for the last few months and finally decided to post.  
This forum is absolutely the greatest thing I've ever found.  I honestly thought I was alone in this until I found you guys.
What can I say..  My story is exactly like everyone else's.  Been PMOing since I was 15.  I'm 38 now.  My wife of 12 years, and I separated about a year and half ago.  The reason she left was mainly due to my PMO addiction and my inability to be truly intimate with her.  I feel so bad for what I put that woman throughout those years.
I've been PMO free for about 3 weeks now.  Before then I was PMO free for about a month solid.  
Thanks again, everyone!!
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1923088 tn?1338603606
Welcome to the forum, you are amongst friends here.
No one will place judgement upon you so feel free to share your experience.

  
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I can stay hard and pound the life out of her, but I just cannot pop in the condom for $hit...First I was using normal trojans with her--they were peeling off like everytime, so I went and bought these Lifestyles called THYNs (supposedly the thinnest condom)...the problem is I'm banging a petite little half-asian chick and her private is like a Venus fly trap, FOR REELZ...

So as soon as I get a little groove going I plop right out, so I can never get enuff strokes in to just pop, but doggystyle is usually the only time I can get some stats...But I never feel like I'm gonna burst in the condom, just can't feel $hit...

Now last night she finally let me get inside of her raw, but only for a little while...LMAO, I feel like I will pop if I can get about 3 mins inside of that warm wormhole, but she's pretty adamant that she's not gonna let me hit raw (She only let me do because
A) I begged basically^^, and

B) I had flatlined from having sex with her 3 times earlier in the day and she gave me the "good stuff" just to bring me back from the dead...

So yeah, I'm gonna need some advice, whether it be condoms or bang techniques to get me to pop inside of the condom because I just can't see it right now...
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1828226 tn?1323568848
well, the type of condom is very important. every man has to discover the condom that works best for them. I tried PLENTY condoms and discover Durex Love Magnum condoms are the most comfortable and sensitive for me. All others feel like a plastic bag. My ultimate favorite is Trojan lambskin condoms but these don't protect from std's.

There is nothing wrong with you. I assure you it's the wrong condom for you. You already proved that if you went raw for over 3 minutes you would bust so it's not a penis sensitivity issue. And you haven't been masturbating to porn so that's not reducing your penis sensitivity issue either. It's the condom. It may take you time to discover your favorite. Maybe the Love Magnum will work best for you too. Try it out!
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Well I'm just speculating since I've popped in warm snatch plenty enuff times in the past...Before I became a porn addict I could pop in free hospital lifestyles, but coming from rebooting only my hand can supply the groove I like...

I also use durex but not sure if it was Love magnum...I am big enuff for regular magnum's so maybe I'll try that too, but this plastic bag $hit is good for her, but killing me...

Additionally do I have to train myself to pop in the snatch for life again or something? Just seems impossible right now...I've been forcing it so much that my legs give out...Will a fleshlight help? or is it just a condom issue?
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