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Too much porn/masturbation cause ED?
Hi I m a 28 year old and suffer some degree of ED in recent. I start masturbated since I m 19 and usually use porn as a form of visual stimiulation. I have observed that I have lost the ability to maintain erect during intercource or I only get weak erection. My question is: does masturbation in association with porn will "exhaust" my interest towards sex and create a negative impact on my ability to get aroused in real sex? I m worried cause I think I m still young to have physical cause  for ED. Any thought?
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Hi im here bc I need help!!! my bf has been masturbating to porn on a regualr basis for a very long time looong before I even knew him. im 20 and he juuust turned 31. we have been dating for over a year now and i was having problems bc we werent having sex on a regualr basis we never really have...more in the beginning thaan now tho fer sure..anyways i caught him mastubating to porn one morning even tho the night before we had sex and i asked him if he wanted to have sex n he said no...so than i did some snooping and realized he had a problem with porn and maturbating...he maturbating at least 3times a week if not more and having sex with me once every 2 weeks....he knows i will do anythign in bed and im young and hot so i just dont get it! he has started not watching porn and not maturbating since early january....we have been having sex since then once a week maybe. but still really no change...is there anythingn i can do to help this process more or anything i shouldnt do?! please help me im getting desperate!!! I just wanna have sex with my bf and i just want him to wanna have sex with me...
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Here's another good article on wheter you're addicted or not. http://yourbrainonporn.com/are-you-hooked-on-porn-ask-asam
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If i were you, id wait for a couple of more days to see if the flatline appears, but you seem fine. Back when i was in puberty couple of days without mastrubation would again give me rock hard erections again but that was when the hormones were raging inside of me. If you are still a teenager(you didn't specify how old are you) i think its safe to say that you don't have a problem, but still, i would stop watching porn or limit mastrubation to about 3-4 times a week. Mastrubation should not be your daily habit simply because it did become your daily habit, but something that you do when you get horny when you see a pretty girl or you watched something on tv. Going to porn sites everyday so i can mastrubate is something that gave me the addiction - i wasn't mastrubating because i was getting horny, i was mastrubating because i wanted to get horny and there is a difference, belive me.

About the chaser effect...true story...it ruined my PMO effort once and it almost ruined my efforts twice...
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Well, the first thing you should know is that IF he's an addict, he will need extraordinary will power to stop. And most importantly, he will need to WANT to stop.
For me, the thing that helped the most was this site: www. yourbrainonporn.com . It made me understand what I was doing to myself and what I had to do to get my sex life back on track.
Try telling him that you really want to have sex more frequently and that you think that if he stopped watching porn, that would happen. Show him the site afterwards. Don't expect a good reaction, though. This kind of request can be seen as quite humiliating, because it might imply that he's not good enough to please you.
Anyways, hope I helped.
Tell us how it went and try to introduce him to the forum
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You are pushing this matter, your bf should have no orgasms whatsoever in the first couple of weeks at least. His brain needs a break from orgasms, even though he isnt watching porn while he is having sex with you. Many of the guys here on the forum had problem with their sexual performance when they started, after a couple of weeks of no orgasms whatsoever some of them said that they could have succesful sex with good erections, but still they were not cured. Having regular sex in the recovery process is going to slow down the rebooting process, especially if your bf is not getting a couple of weeks of break. It is quite normal for guys during the recovery process not to be horny, it is something you shouldn't push...
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we already had a huge fallout i should him this site and everything and he realized he had a problemm and he said he really did want to stop so like i said he put blocker s ont he computer and his phone so he couldnt acess anything...the first week of him nto watching he wanted to have sex twice tht week which ia unheard of lol....now i can barely get a reaction outta him....he said he wants to try n not have sex as long as possible to see if tht will make him  want it more but on saturdays we usually get drunk n end up having sex...but tht is seriously the only day we never randomly have sex anymore and trust me he knoooows I want to have sex. im outta answers
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welll he was starting to get blue balls after the first 5 days he said he needed a release bc it wouldnt go away so we had sex i didnt push it at all i said we can wait as long as u can go....but knowing he shouldnt be having sex at all i will not push it he also works at a strip club he has worked there fro 10yrs idk if that can also slow down the progres...but he hates h  is job and most of the girls there...
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Just checking in, doing a progress report along with some questions. So tomorrow will be day 30 of no PMO. From about day 10-20 I had a huge libido, I just wanted to have sex with someone (porn doesn't even register as an option... well rarely anyways), I could hardly handle it. At around day 22 I got a handjob from a girl I'm seeing, I didn't need to fantasize, my erection was decent about 80% and I came... which is a huge improvement, that would not have happened before the reboot started. However, it's day 30 I'm not getting morning wood, I don't get spontaneous erections and my libido seems to be crashing again (it did this for the first week, which as I understand is normal). So for all of you who have made it 60+ days I'd like to know if/when you noticed more normal erections... I just need to a bit of positive reinforcement so I don't scrap the reboot, even though I know it is helping.
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When you commit yourself to no PMO there can be no release, blue balls, no blue balls, libido or no libido. Having sex, even once in a week, during the rebooting process, slow down the progress...
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I disagree with that, I think the more you are able to have sexual experiences with real women the better. It probably helps rewire your brain to normal stimulation rather than the hyperstimulation of porn... So I'd say, if you're able to have sex without having ED issues, go for it... if there are still issues I'd hold off because it can really mess with your confidence and cause a relapse.
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Well having sex can benefit you, but you still need a no orgasm period of at least 2-3 weeks for your brain to get a break, especially if you are trying to have sex but not feeling like wanting to have sex, if you are not really horny.
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actually i dont think he has nevver had a problem with ed issues the problem with that i g uess is he genna never go for rouund 2 ever bc he can never get hard again but hte main problem here is  hes just never horny anymore!  before he would rather jack off to porn than have sex. he said it was bc he was too lazy sometimes to have actual sex lol...now thth he isnt doing tht anymroe he just has no desire even tho apparently he isnt masturbating or looking at porn...is that normal?
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i apprecaite the feedback tho btw thanks so much
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I agree with that, but once you feel ready I think it is beneficial.
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2022414 tn?1329666048
Had a horrible day...even thought about a relapse to calm me down...didn't do it, but damn I failed 2 tests today!
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I just read some of you're stories and I'm inspired. I also really need to stop masturbating as well lol.  What are some good tips??  I already decided to definitely stay away from porn.
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Hi, I'm new to this forum. I am a 36 year old married male who has been masturbating since I was 19, and masturbating to porn for the past 10 years. I have now stopped for 2 weeks and have experiences many of the low libido symptoms as described in the video. I desperately want to get healthy since my wife and I want to begin having children. Unfortunately, it is a challenge to both get an erection, and an even bigger challenge to sustain one.

I'm hoping to get cured soon. I know that everyone responds differently to rebooting, but curious as to the average amount of team people experienced before getting healthy again?
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1923088 tn?1338603606
Hey there and welcome to the group.

It takes different amounts of time for your mind to heal, due to your age you may be on the faster side of the scale.  Personally I believe that if you are serious about rebooting and totally eliminate porn and masturbation you can cut down the amount of time that it takes.

But I can tell you that it works.  

Good luck!!!
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I'm on the mend, but I have two prospects with new women tomorrow night. I'm very tempted to break my current streak so that I can avoid some of the sensitivity issues that I experienced last time (that is, I went extremely quickly). Is this recommended? A condom will diminish some of the issue, but I guarantee it will go relatively fast.
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I think you should read this article, it explains the process well

http://yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-with-a-partner

Your partner can get hard easier on porn then with you because he is an addict and its one of the key symptoms, never mind the erectal disfunction. And he really needs a break from sex and mastrubation and porn. You need to take it slow. Porn addiction is very tough, i can say that in my personal expirience. I cant tell you how many times i have relapsed and tried again. It is very hard and you need to be there for your boyfriend if you want to be with him. Take it slow. It is a slow process that lasts for months. Regular sex that you had is slowing things down. If you didnt have regular sex your boyfriend should have been alot better, or even cured after 3 months.
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Do the simple task stay away from PMO for 3 - 4 months. No need to keep asking uncalled questions. After that u should be ok if porn is the cause or any other psychological factor.
Those relapsing  need to wake up and focus. If u are really ready u must be prepared to eliminate all factors. I only use pc at work and at home I only use it for Netflix and school homeworks. And i a used to it now I use iPhone for other things like email and this site. There is no excuse for relapsing. U must make some sacrifice!
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1923088 tn?1338603606
That about sums it up Ashawo,

I look at porn like Crack.

If you care kicking the habit you can't sniff Cocaine instead of smoking it and think you are going to be drug free.

Or and Alcoholic I who is trying to become clean so he stops drinking hard liquor and just drinks beer.

Make up your mind put on your Big Boy pants and STOP!!

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Thanks for your advise. Now I am able to intercouse with my wife, she enjoyed it. It lasts more than 30 minutes. But now I found I struggle to ejaculte on time and left unsatisfied. Is this delayed ejaculation problem? Still its a part of a Porn induced one.I dont know what I need to do. How long it would take for complete recovery..Please respond me soon.. .
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1828226 tn?1323568848
to me it sounds like you reach your orgasm peak and chose not to orgasm and once you tried to get it back you couldn't.... Next time you have sex with your wife orgasm your body is ready to, relax a lil bit and then go for a 2nd round with your wife.
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30 days tomorrow, really hard going nearly relapsed all weekend as i was very stressed with a couple of things. Still keep going i guess.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
love_a_challenge has a good point.

If you suppress your orgasm sometimes its very hard to release once you past that point.  Good thing you wife is happy though :-)

You may have to relearn yourself when it comes to controlling your orgasm.



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Guys, I need your help. I'm on a relapse streak. I can't stop!
It's like I'm on autopilot. There's currently no girl in my life, and I guess that's an important reason.
I start naively in a sex related topic on the internet. And always progress to webcam chat porn! I already have a k9 installed in my notebook, but I learned how to go through it. And my ipad isn't blocked and I don't know how to block it. Should I only use my notebook on the living room? I'm so sad about this....after the relapses I get almost suicidal....this addiction is ruining my life...Please give me practical tips so that I don't have the opportunity to relapse.
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Well, I have never been happier to find such a thread. Im 17 and I've been on P/M since I was 13. It wasn't really a problem since i never was dating or anything. Thing is, now i got a girlfriend. I've been with her for a month now. I met her about 12 times maybe, and never have I got an erection. It pisses me off so much because i get morning boners all the time and boners randomly throughout the day. I want to move to the next step and go oral, but I'm worried I dont get hard. I'm 99% sure its from the porn, and I'm doing my best to stop it. The problem is, everytime after I see her, I feel like i MUST watch or my balls will blow up. I don't know what I should do honestly. I also wanted to know, how long of abstinence from P/M is needed so that I'm back to normal, or at least able to achieve erection.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
I'm 99% sure your problem is porn also.

Leave the porn alone!!!  

I know at 17 Blue Balls can be hellish.  You are a young man do not let porn destroy your life.  In your case if you must M do it thinking about your girlfriend not Suzy Sex ****.  At age 17 she should be saying dammit is sex all you think about??!!!!  Take the step take control of your life and enjoy it!!!

Leave the porn alone!!!
Leave the porn alone!!!
Leave the porn alone!!!
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1828226 tn?1323568848
if chatrooms are one of your weakness then you need to stay away from it while you reboot.
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Hi guys, to those who remember me, I'm back and I have gone over 100 days without PMO...

I finally was able to test things out with a girl the last month and things were great...I banged for hrs and hrs, and now when I think about her or any other girl in public I get woodies all day now...I feel like I'm cured...

This weekend I had sex with my new GF 7 times in 2 days...I still use Cialis for a boost, but I'm also pretty strong without it...

The post I'm making now is the kind of post I wish someone had written when I first got here, so that I would have something to look forward too...I mean your libido is gonna be absolutely non-existent until you find a girl willing to have sex with you on a consistent basis, that's just the godamn truth...But once you get that feeling (given the fact you've laid off porn for 30-90 days), it all comes back..It's almost indescribable...

4 weeks ago I felt like I had no hope..Today I can't believe I ever thought such a silly notion...SO I wanna say it, don't give up newcomers...You will feel lost, alone, and tragically up and down based on withdrawal, but once you're back, you're back with a vengeance...

The only problem I'm facing (and I'm hoping for help and advice) is that I'm finding it difficult to *** inside of her (especially with a condom on--and condoms suck right about now given my reboot)...

I find myself constantly having to pull out and handy myself (or have her handy me) just to Orgasm..It';s been the one thing that has bothered me, and I'm also wondering if having to handy myself is hurting the endgame process for me...Is there any advice on this that works?

Other than that, it's not too bad, because I am wrecking this current girl...SHe has no complaints, but moving forward with her basically becoming my girl I wouldn't mind popping inside of her, but as for the rest..I hope my story gives many of you what I so desperately wanted in the beginning which is HOPE...
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very inspirational lol. I am on day 1 and it looks like I have a long way to go. My wish is that I can get an erection next week when I see my girl, but I think i might be wishing for the impossible. I keep getting tempted to watch just that one video and I'm trying my best to stop it. yourbrainonporn is such a good website, i had no idea about it before. It is very helpful, informative, and convincing. Glad I found this community. wish me luck everyone
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1923088 tn?1338603606
Banged her for hours & hours actually had me laughing over here.

Good report on your progress and I'm sure its inspirational of others walking the path of rebooting.  

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1923088 tn?1338603606
You want and erection in a week but your are tempted to watch just that one video???

Self control & discipline must become your best friends.  Get rid o all of your porn videos, saved stuff on your computer etc.  Break the grip that porn has on you.





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1828226 tn?1323568848
this may sound selfish but the next time you have sex with your gf (with the condom on) do not hold back your orgasm the first time you feel it coming. you need to assure yourself you can ejaculate with a condom on. if the condom is too tight or too thick for your penis then you're using the wrong condom for your penis. what is the exact name of the condom you're using?
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Hello everyone.  I've been watching this forum for the last few months and finally decided to post.  
This forum is absolutely the greatest thing I've ever found.  I honestly thought I was alone in this until I found you guys.
What can I say..  My story is exactly like everyone else's.  Been PMOing since I was 15.  I'm 38 now.  My wife of 12 years, and I separated about a year and half ago.  The reason she left was mainly due to my PMO addiction and my inability to be truly intimate with her.  I feel so bad for what I put that woman throughout those years.
I've been PMO free for about 3 weeks now.  Before then I was PMO free for about a month solid.  
Thanks again, everyone!!
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1923088 tn?1338603606
Welcome to the forum, you are amongst friends here.
No one will place judgement upon you so feel free to share your experience.

  
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I can stay hard and pound the life out of her, but I just cannot pop in the condom for $hit...First I was using normal trojans with her--they were peeling off like everytime, so I went and bought these Lifestyles called THYNs (supposedly the thinnest condom)...the problem is I'm banging a petite little half-asian chick and her private is like a Venus fly trap, FOR REELZ...

So as soon as I get a little groove going I plop right out, so I can never get enuff strokes in to just pop, but doggystyle is usually the only time I can get some stats...But I never feel like I'm gonna burst in the condom, just can't feel $hit...

Now last night she finally let me get inside of her raw, but only for a little while...LMAO, I feel like I will pop if I can get about 3 mins inside of that warm wormhole, but she's pretty adamant that she's not gonna let me hit raw (She only let me do because
A) I begged basically^^, and

B) I had flatlined from having sex with her 3 times earlier in the day and she gave me the "good stuff" just to bring me back from the dead...

So yeah, I'm gonna need some advice, whether it be condoms or bang techniques to get me to pop inside of the condom because I just can't see it right now...
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1828226 tn?1323568848
well, the type of condom is very important. every man has to discover the condom that works best for them. I tried PLENTY condoms and discover Durex Love Magnum condoms are the most comfortable and sensitive for me. All others feel like a plastic bag. My ultimate favorite is Trojan lambskin condoms but these don't protect from std's.

There is nothing wrong with you. I assure you it's the wrong condom for you. You already proved that if you went raw for over 3 minutes you would bust so it's not a penis sensitivity issue. And you haven't been masturbating to porn so that's not reducing your penis sensitivity issue either. It's the condom. It may take you time to discover your favorite. Maybe the Love Magnum will work best for you too. Try it out!
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Well I'm just speculating since I've popped in warm snatch plenty enuff times in the past...Before I became a porn addict I could pop in free hospital lifestyles, but coming from rebooting only my hand can supply the groove I like...

I also use durex but not sure if it was Love magnum...I am big enuff for regular magnum's so maybe I'll try that too, but this plastic bag $hit is good for her, but killing me...

Additionally do I have to train myself to pop in the snatch for life again or something? Just seems impossible right now...I've been forcing it so much that my legs give out...Will a fleshlight help? or is it just a condom issue?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
before when you were poppin in a condom (before pmo issues) it probably was your mental from porn helping you pop. but now it's not your mental alone.a fleshlight won't help because you don't use a condom for that. it's the condom. also, another thing, once you use a particular type condom that doesn't work for you, mentally you will never think this condom will work for you so that makes it twice as harder to pop in one. I tried lifestyle thyns and they are not thin to me, LOL. Magnum Love to me is the truth! Trojan lambskins are the supertruth! Another thing, I hope you're not edging at all or playing with yourself because this can psychologically throw your poppin off (since you're recovering from PMO)
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1828226 tn?1323568848

before when you were poppin in a condom (before pmo issues) it probably was your mental from porn helping you pop. but now " it's your mental alone"

a fleshlight won't help because you don't use a condom for that. it's the condom. also, another thing, once you use a particular type condom that doesn't work for you, mentally you will never think this condom will work for you so that makes it twice as harder to pop in one. I tried lifestyle thyns and they are not thin to me, LOL. Magnum Love to me is the truth! Trojan lambskins are the supertruth!

Another thing, I HOPE you're not edging at all or playing with yourself because this can psychologically throw your poppin off (since you're recovering from PMO)
.
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hi again guys, thanks for your post. i have an update. i'll repeat things quick: i'm 27yo virgin who finally found the girl of his dreams. i've been clean (no P/M) for almost 4 weeks. last night we had a great evening on the couch... kissing etc... i got hard sometimes but not rock hard... and when i went to toilet later on i saw i jizzed... i really want to have sex with her... i found out she's a virgin too.. so this was supposed to be perfect. everything i ever wanted: the right girl... i'm so afraid that when we will have sex, i will completely fail. the mental shock would be tremendous... what will she think? i'm 27yo ffs, i should be horny as sh*t like i used to be... i'm really afraid i damaged my penis permenantly due all the porn and masturbationhours... i'm so pissed at myself... how could i let myself go all those years with P/M (i frigging denied women when i was a horny little basterd, just to wait for the right girl... and now that i've found her, i've changed...) ... thinking it was totally innocent :((( should i go see the doctor and talk about it? tx guys and good luck as well!!
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Yea i know how it is. Relapses are tough. I have a few tips that work. First of all, if you feel like relapsing immidietly stop what you are doing and repeat loudly - I am not a weakling (it worked for me once perfectly). Start doing something that will occupy your mind - exercise, play a video game, but don't start studying for example since it is not effective, you will still think of porn. Meditation is also good, plug in some meditation music, close your eyes and clear your mind for half and hour. So you need to do a physical activity. If this doesnt work immidietly go outside for a walk or something, anything, since you won't be able to mastrubate outside(unless you are a maniac :D ). But the most important thing is - if you feel intense craving, IMMIDIETLY STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING. I've relapsed mostly because when i felt the cravings, i didn't listen to my advice and my brain started to think "oh come on, you don't have a gf, you need a release, you come a long way" . If you start thinking like that you are going to relapse, belive me. Also install a porn blocker. I recommend AOBO porn blocker. Some people say that if you don't install a porn blocker you will feel more confident that you can control your cravings but if you can't (and you can't) install it, better than relapsing a hundred times. Hope i helped and don't worry, relapsing isn't the end of the road, curing porn addicition is very tough and very few succed without relapsing.
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You did nothing wrong. You probably jizzed because you were so nervous. You need to work out your stress. Also, you should not push sex with your gf. If you can't get rock hard while making out with her you are not ready yet. I suggest you take a look at this article:

http://yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-with-a-partner

Don't worry, you haven't done any permanent damage, its all curable but it will take a couple of months to get healthy. We are all human, addictions are something that every human can get, and porn addiction is something that i have never heard of until i coudn't get any erections at all. Just keep up the good work and its perfect that you have a gf. Explain to her your problem, and if she understands together you can work on your problem. One of the reasons of my frequent relapses is that i never had anyone to support me, i always felt alone in my battle, i never had a girl to motivate me in the long term..,
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Dude, you have it made! Both of you are virgins so that means she is definitely not pushing the issue. If I were you I would tell her yall should take things real slow, focus on the emotional relationship and building true friendship, since both of you are virgins. In the meantime, DON'T touch yourself for like 3 whole months (90 days). Don't edge or anything. Don't look at porn! Focus on her only. You can still engage in kissing and touching but leave the sex part out because you're not mentally ready and she is not hype about losing her virginity anyway. After 90 days, go for it!
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Well today is day 36 of no PMO, the longest I have ever gone. At this point I've noticed that I don't really care about my erections right now, they aren't back to full strength but they are better than they used to be. I can finally feel some linearity to this process, instead of my mood, cravings and libido being all over the place it feels more constant now. Like every day I'm getting slightly better, I still have urges to M a lot, but P is not really an issue anymore. One thing that I've really noticed is that if I'm watching a movie I'm very excited if I think there might be female nudity in it, just the idea of seeing a boob turns me on... when I was heavily into P and M I didn't even care, wouldn't even flinch if a girl took her top off on a movie. I'm starting to feel similar to how I did when I was like 14 and I'd watch late night cable for hours in the hopes of a 5 second glimpse of boob. So I'm definitely noticing some major improvements, I thought that part of me was gone forever.
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thanks all for your messages!!! Last night we had another amazing evening.... kissing, fondling, ... and when i went under her shirt she froze. she felt insecure etc... she isn't ready yet, but i know she actually really wants it if i push it a little. I'm27 yo, she's 23... i can't wait 3 months to have sex with her? She will feel even more insecure that i don't want to have sex with her? i really love her... oh yes, and PORN is so far behind me. i will never look at it again, and i can say that with alot of confidence. I've masturbated to porn from my 14 or smth till a few weeks ago... how can there be no permanent damage? i woke up with morning wood this morning and did masturbate thinking about my gf... only took like 10 strokes and i came 2 times in 1 orgasm... really weird but great! i feel alot better now :) i'm just really afraid to tell her about my problem... maybe she'll think i'm some freak porn addict while i'm not :/ i just didn't know what i was doing... and thought it would not harm me.............. tx guys and good luck.... !!! i just hope that i will be back to normal once again........ :(((
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My husband and I have been married a year. We have two children by age 21. We used to have sex every day, maybe more than once. The last few weeks we have tried, and right in the middle he goes soft... it makes me feel horrible. Im not a skinny person, im normal with a body tht has had children. He says he loves the way I look. But I always catch him watching porn or looking at nude pics and it hurts me deeply and shoots down my self asteem! Everytime I talk to him about the porn thing, he gets pissed at me. He even addmitted he can't stop watching it.... so what do I do?? He refuses to talk about it, and im constantly trying new things to get him excited... the only time he can orgasm while having sex with me, is if we watch porn first... please help! This is ruining my marriage!
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thank you for all ur help its been almost a week without sex and were genna keep going for at least 2 weeks! we will see if it helps!!!! thanks again
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Day 20 today & I relapsed pretty bad. I had told myself yesterday that I would not use the computer anymore & so I didn't use the computer but i looked at some photos online that made me turn to the computer and watch some videos. Well not some probably about 10 or 12. Not in entirety but u know skipping through them. It took me about 30 to 45 minutes of viewing and then I masturbated and came. I am very disappointed but I felt that my erection was better than before. I started again and tomorrow marks Day 1 yet again. I'm aware I have to stay clear of the chaser affect. Let's hope I can make it to Day 90. This is my second time doing this. Last time I gave in around Day 22.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
That's a tough issue.

He gets pissed when you try to discuss it and he admits that he can't stop looking at porn.  Do you think he'd be willing to seek marriage counseling?

I believe you two must be able to communicate about the issue in order to over come it.  Its obvious what the problem is, it just needs to be addressed.


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Show your husband the www.yourbraininonporn.com website and explain to him that he is an addict. You need to point out that he cannot perform because of that fact and that he needs to stop watching and mastrubating to porn. His recovery process will not be too long i presume(month or two) but you need to make him understand that he will not have a normal sex life if the doesnt stop mastrubating to porn.
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I had sex about ten days ago with a hot girl but my erection was a shame. The disappointment on her face made me think that i have a problem and i found this thread. I watched a lot of porn and that messed me up.
From now on no more porn for me. I'm hoping that exercise is helping, becouse i'm going to the gym and also preparing for a semi-marathon.
I'm almost 27 and i need my buddy back :(
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Thank God I stumbled on this thread, I have been reading your comments and it gives me alot of hope that I might be able to break my P addiction and hopefully overcome ED. I've been suffering from ED badly for a year and a half in which time I've had 2 failed relationships, failed because I couldn't perform and it shot my confidence... I've been doing alot of thinking and have realised after reading 'yourbrainonporn.com' that I have been addicted to M and P all of my adult life....  When I was about 17 porn was revolutionised with youtube style porn sites so you could watch as many videos and fetishes as you wanted and I didn't see what this has been doing to me.  I'm a good person and people on the outside see me as a quiet respectable person but I feel like porn has corrupted me and has been eating away at the old me and now I'm moody, depressive and angry not to mention that at the age of 23 it has affected my performance with girls. Tomorrow is day 1 for me. I understand that it is a 90 day thing... I'm going to try my best. No P, and even more difficult no M or O.
I have been worried for a long time about ED and was unaware this site/thread existed, its great that we can all talk to each other and give help and receive it.
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Do not relapse on ST Patrick's day!!
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Welcome aboard.  This is a great little community we have here.
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Hello Board. I have been PMO for 43 days! It hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be, but I still get tempted from time to time. The worst I've done in those days is looked at some pics from the newest SI Swimsuit Edition, but I didn't linger...hey, i'm only human! I've been running and lifting weights for the past month a few times a week, getting more sleep, and generally trying to live healthier.

The past few weeks, there have been a few nights I've woken up with erections from dreams (happened 3 nights in a row last week). Can't remember the last time that's happened to me. Can't say I ever really felt the flatline completely, I've had desires almost throughout this process so far. I have been able to keep porn off my mind for the most part, I don't fantasize about it, but I will occasionally get the desire to see it (but always refrain). Guess I can't really stop that.

I met up with my ex last night. It's been about 6 months since our breakup. She was always supportive of me when I had ED issues with her (which was a lot of the time). She would get frustrated, but never really made me felt bad about it. I did that to myself. Cutting to the chase, we ended up back at my place, in bed. That wasn't the plan. She wanted to have sex, but I didn't want to mess up everything I've been working towards. Temptation gave in and she ended up giving me a  ** (I was only semi erect), and decided not to push it any further. In the morning, she started stroking me, got me hard - and  I started penetrating her. I didn't want to orgasm (1) because we didn't have protection, and (2) I was hesitant about messing up my progress. I don't think i'm "healed" yet, and I didn't want it to effect my confidence if I did fail, since a lot of my failures were tied with her. I am committed to reaching at least 60 days - 90 if necessary, before really trying.

So my question is, what do you guys think about what happened? Did I make a mistake by not waiting the 90 days? (I didn't use Porn, Orgasm, or Masturbate (with my hand at least)...When should I feel safe to try again is what I really want to know. Some reassurance that I'm on the right path would be nice.

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1828226 tn?1323568848
Don't sweat it. You'll be fine and you didn't mess up anything. Be happy that you were hard enough to penetrate her. How long did you to have sex? So you never orgasm and stopped it before you got to that point? Was she happy from the outcome? If you ask me, these are all signs you are recovering. Keep striving for your 60-90 days no PMO.
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To add to the above, after I penetrated her, I pulled out soon after...I didn't want to risk messing this process up. And the ** that was bleeped out meant she gave me a mouth jawb, lol : P

Did I mess up, or was it ok, since it was natural? I'm still going for the 60-90 day goal. I've come to far (no pun intended), to mess up after 43 days.
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I'm new to this whole sexual abstention so maybe I'm wrong but I don't think it's bad at all that you 'broke' the rules with a girl. I think the most important thing is to not go back on the porn/ too much masturbation....

Or are we supposed to completely avoid any sex at all?
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We say it's best to avoid sex while you're recovering because if you engage in sexual activity and still have problems performing it will bring down your self-esteem more PLUS make you believe the recovering is not working for you. We suggest you go 60-90 days without PMO because your self-confidence in performing is increasing daily as you recover. However if you don't want to wait, attempt all the sex you want but don't expect any great outcomes and a look of full satisfaction from the woman. Not only will you depress yourself more but you'll depress the woman and I'm pretty sure you're tired of doing that!
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ben123    
'dont know if ill even be able to get it up when it comes to sex. What excuses could i use to avoid this situation for now until i recover. I dont want to make a fool of myself. Thanks.'

I had this problem when I was living in Spain for a couple of months. After having come out of a bad relationship with an Italian girl that wasn't used to impotence (it was my first time regularly being impotent) in which she treated me really badly about it all and totally shot my confidence, I then moved to spain and started dating a Spanish girl who was fiery and well used to sex (with no impotence).  Well the night came when she told me she was gonna stay at mine for the first time, I knew what that meant, I'd have to have sex with her. I was very worried and tried to think of excuses, 1.'I'm a nice guy and like to wait a while before I have sex with a girl' 2. 'Ive been in some bad relationships and want to take it slow' 3.'well I swear this has never happened to me before, really'
I tried the first 2 but had to end up using the third one as I had no choice but to engage in sexual activity! and I couldn't get it up. However she understood my situation and made me feel better about it, and then somehow I got relaxed, turned on and from there (without internet connection) it went well for 3 months  with some occasional impotence but as she understood me it would always work out and we'd try something else.  

That's over now and since I've been living back home with internet I have been M regularly, every day usually, sometimes twice or 3 times a day.  
This week I found this thread and I am starting the journey to giving up M and stop being a slave to P.

I relapsed immediately after my first post...twice.... perhaps as a goodbye to P, but it led to me doing the same the next day, so now I am truly going to do this and try my best to stick at it.
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Well...now that you said goodbye, welcome aboard hahaha. No more PMO. At least for me. I intend to stay away from porn for the rest of the year.
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Instead of him masturbating so often he should read up on ways make penis fuller/thicker   where this can actually work and give you better orgasms the few :( times you do have sex.  How ever he may just be not that much into you or you don't do the things he sees and likes on porn.
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Thanks for the advice. I explained the process I'm going through to her and want to reach my goal before really trying again. I probably could've finished the job, but I just want to make it through the 90 days. She understood, and I don't feel like it messed with my confidence or my will to continue. I figure I'm halfway there, just gonna stick it out and hope I'm successful from then on.

The hope of recovery is greater than any temptation to watch porn to me. I just want to get better.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
As long as your desire for recovery out weighs you hankering for porn you will be fine.
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Yep well ive ****** it! Still havernt viewed porn..but my addiction to M has taken off again....i cant bloody stop...And its doing my head in something cronic! will all this  masturbation still effect me, im guessing so....
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1828226 tn?1323568848
there is nothing wrong with masturbation. But if masturbation always depresses you and make you feel like you have no sex libido afterwards for several days you need to try to stay away from it as much as possible because it will play an impact on your sex life. I'm speaking from experience. When I slip up and masturbate, I have to duck my gf for at least a week just to recover because masturbation really depresses the s**t outta me. I can't be myself around my gf plus I don't feel that huge desire to please her like I would do if I never had masturbated. Masturbation will have you in the slump for days. PLUS it seems like every time I would slip up that's when the time my gf all of sudden wants to be around me and I hate trying to avoid her all because I recently masturbated. Bottom line is try to stay away from masturbation if it gives you a bunch of negative effects AFTER you do it.
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hi lads just wondering from the successful posters a few questions. im on day 56 no masturbation. im getting wet dreams every 2 weeks which has not happened since iv been a young teenager. im 24 now. however its only been 2 weeks since i stopped fully watching any type of porn and im just wondering should my libido still be flat and will it be there when i get close to a girl. i dont wake up with morning wood but i get hard just after i wake up.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
If your dopamine levels have been altered due to porn and you stopped looking at porn 2 weeks ago you libido may actually not be there.

What was occurring that made you decide to stop M?

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This is a bit harder than I anticipated, given up P totally but M a few times. Getting urges to watch some P but trying to be strong, damnit!
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basically i could not get an erection with a girl one night. but isnt the whole point of abstaining from porn to get your dopamine levels to return to normal as in gettting hard to normal situations like i used to so i don undrerstand how you mean my libido might not be there. a few people on here have said you might not think its there but it actually is. i reckon if i keep away from all sorts of porn i will be fine n a few weeks again as i have not masturbated in 8 weeks. i just think i may have been cheating by having glimpses of porn every now and then
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Today i've got the morning wood on my 12th day with no PMO.
I hope to recover faster than the 90 day program becouse i was able to get a semi-erection (not sure if there is a term for something like that) when having sex.
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Morning chaps.

I'm now 60 days in with no porn or masturbation and thought I'd throw my update out to see if there are any of you experiencing similar things.

The first 10 days were flatline with no desire or interest at all. I seriously thought I'd never have the urge again. Then about 30 days in I experienced the usual stuff, morning erections, spontaneous erections and then when my wife and I finally did it together I was truly amazed at how I performed. All in all there was so much to be positive about. However, in the past 10 days I've got into total flatline again. No morning erections, no spontaneous erections, just nothing. My wife and I haven't been together in that way since the last time so I can't comment on how it works right now in the real thing. My libido has gone flat again and I'm aware that where I am now is light years away from where I was after say 30 days.

So my question is, have any of you experienced this "double dip" in your recover process?

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Go to yourbrainonporn. Click on the "rebooting tab", then the "rebooting accounts" tab.
The following rebooting account describes two flatlines. It's not uncommon.

Age 29 - Day 89, two flatlines
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Something interesting happened last night while i was trying to fall asleep. I was thinking about flirting with a girl i am supposed to go out in a couple of days, all of sudden - LIFE! Down in my pants! A wild erection appeared! I can't remember when was the last time i had an erection just by thinking about flirting with a girl. I did notice a couple of times while i was flirting with her on facebook that my penis was reacting but i didn't have a full erection. This is a good sign, right? Also i feel the cravings today...had a couple of porn flashbacks...but i don't really feel like i want to go to youjizz and mastrubate, instead i feel more like having sex with a girl, even renting a hooker. But i don't feel like relapsing really...i dont know what to think of all that...but i really do hope that after all those relapses i am finally getting somewhere near where i should be...i cant wait to get intimate with that girl to see how my penis will react.
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Glad I found this thread/forum.I strongly feel I can break my P/M addicition now especially after going through some posts. At some point I truly felt I alone had this nasty thorn in my side. So,tomorrow marks my day 1 towards the 90 day mark. It wont be an easy task but its time to put on my 'big boy pants'. Plus I feel the positive energy from here will help me reach my mark.Thanks guys. *thumbsup*
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1923088 tn?1338603606
That sounds like good progress.  Avoid P & M and you'll be fine.  
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You can do it!!!
It may be rough at first but as you progress in the rebooting process it becomes much easier to resist the temptation of porn and masturbation.

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good forum..Im 30 days without PMO and I have not done anything to provoke an erection nor orgasm...However I did I have a wet dream about a random girl.  Woke up disappointed with a slight senese of depression.  Does the dream reboot back to day 1? I also have changed my diet and exercise daily(4months in) in hopes that recovery will be a given.  My erections are semi/half full -flatline most of the time. I will admit to receiving nude pics from friends on my phone.  Are pics just as bad as watching porn?
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good forum..Im 30 days without PMO and I have not done anything to provoke an erection nor orgasm...However I did I have a wet dream about a random girl.  Woke up disappointed with a slight senese of depression.  Does the dream reboot back to day 1? I also have changed my diet and exercise daily(4months in) in hopes that recovery will be a given.  My erections are semi/half full -flatline most of the time. I will admit to receiving nude pics from friends on my phone.  Are pics just as bad as watching porn?
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Wet dreams are not bad. Its something you cannot control, and it is just a drem. However, i find them really bad for me since i have wet dreams about porn and this causes a rush of dopamine to my brain and gives me a chaser effect. So wet dreams are nothing to be scared of unless you get strong chaser effects that may cause you to relapse(i relapsed 2 - 3 times because i had a wet dream and a chaser effect got me.

To experiment a little, i tried touching myself yesterday and i got an erection, no problems, it wasnt at 100% but it was at 90%. I decided to mastrubate. No porn, no imagination, nothing. It was great. I can't remember when was the last times i enjoyed mastrubation and the orgasm that much. I have no chaser effect today whatsoever and i am still getting spontanious erections when i am flirting with the girl i am supposed to go out. I told her yesterday after mastrubating that i was thinking of her, and she told me she blushed. I got hard immidietly in that moment. Its something that hasnt happened to me in a long time. I feel happy, confident, and i think my no PMO journey is finally coming to an end. I have to admit, it is one of the hardest things i did in my life, especially since this forum was the only support i had throught these 6 months of abstaining, relapsing, abstaining, relapsing and so forth. I think my story should be an example - it doesn't matter if you relapse, the only thing that matters is to keep going and be persistant. This thing can be cured. I was hopeless when i started, heavily addicted and plagued by ED problems. Now everything is changed. I feel like a better person after this ordeal.
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I had a slip up again today.  I was looking through some youtube and dailymotion vids today and saw some scantily  dressed women videos.  It pushed me over the edge.
Back to square one.  
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Your story gives me some hope! Fingers crossed for the future.
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how long does the flatlining period last? Or does it varies from person to person?  
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It varies. There are no rules. It can last for a couple of weeks, it can take months, you may get another flatline, you may be cured after the flatline passes. I read alot of accounts and there is no general rule for flatlines, but they are good since there is a less of a chance you will relapse during a flatine. Whenever i had a flatline i was okay. I would usually relapse after the flatline passes.
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This works! And i can tell you, i relapsed so many times, i never managed to last a month of no pmo-ing. I still am not where i should be, but i definetly feel a great change. When i started, i coudn't even get hard on porn. That is how i was addicted to porn and how mastrubation and watching porn had become a daily habit for me, not something i did because i was horny. I also feel generaly more confident. I want to flirt with girls. I want to be more attractive. I want to be a better basketball player. I want to go out and have fun and party hard. It is really something that will change your life. Just be confident, patient, never forget the fact that you are an addict, that you will not have a normal sex life if you don't do this, but when you pull throw, you will be a better person.
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have you relapsed with women?  Was there a change in your ability to perform? In other words, does no PMO help cure PE?
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During my no PMO period i was never with a women. I am still a virgin to be honest (though i supposed i am counting my last month as virgin :D ). I still need to really test myself out with a girl until i can say i can perform. But earlier, when i mastrubated to porn, i could only last for about a minute(when i started, i coudnt even last half a minute). When i mastrubated without porn a couple of days ago i lasted 5 minutes. So yes, there is definetly an imrpovment. Porn addiction can cause PE. You should read this article if you want more details.

http://yourbrainonporn.com/is-my-premature-ejaculation-related-to-my-porn-use

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... Just entered day 4. I'm clean .The past three days have not been that bad. I made sure to get myself busy. Got a lot more engaged in work, the gym- even adjusted my diet abit. More fruits and vegies. less caffeine etc. More challenges await ahead though. I'll be strong. First time I've ever tried this 90day run. Thanx GhostDog, ur +ve energy is appreciated. *thumbsup.
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I've started reading this forum and had no pmo for 23 days.  I'm not saying I'm cured or anything, but after a flatlining period between days 2-9 I've slowly but surely have gotten boners just by looking or thinking of girls. Now it seems to happen all the time and have been very horny. I told a female friend at work about it and she's been supportive. Recently we've had a couple dates, this saturday she wants to become intimate.  I don't want to ruin my rebooting, any advise?
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I've started reading this forum and had no pmo for 23 days. I'm 31 and I don't know when it started, but I suddenly stopped getting horny, sex wasn't very pleasurable and I preferred porn. I'm not saying I'm cured or anything, but after a flatlining period between days 2-9 I've slowly but surely have gotten boners just by looking or thinking of girls. Now it seems to happen all the time and have been very horny. I told a female friend at work about it and she's been supportive. Recently we've had a couple dates, this saturday she wants to become intimate.  I don't want to ruin my rebooting, any advise?
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So, I can't really string 3 days together yet, at about 3 days my balls are killing! did anyone else get this? They're obviously used to getting emptied minimum twice a day with pretty hardcore P,. and a total block of that is pretty difficult I've got to admit. Someone said it's bad for your prostate to do it like this, is that true?
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thanks alot flavius...very helpful imformation
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Anyone else feel like their case is unique in the sense that they won't ever be cured? Like you feel like you have done irreversible damage. I know I haven't gotten to the mark of 90 days but there is this negative voice inside of me that keeps telling me that. Oh well I WON'T give in this time. Day 14 has just begun. Still flatlining.
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Hi , ive been rebooting for around 4 months now , ive tested my self sometimes , and even relapsed around 3 weeks ago. I can get hard with just light grip , but when i look at let say naked striptease videos , without touching , i get almost no erection. So my question is , if im rebooted , would i have to have erections just on striptease videos , and is getting hard just with light grip touch sign of reboot or any kind of progress ? Thanks.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
That negative voice you hear is the addiction tempting you to relapse.  Don't worry about flat lining  just focus on your goal.  The only way to know if you can be cured is to follow through with the rebooting process.  Resisting will be easier as you move further along in the process.
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No mattrer how long you reboot or recover, you will never get back to the point you can turn on porn and get a full erection from it (without touching yourself) simply because:

1) you're a grown man
2) your mind knows you are just staring at a screen and not an actual person
3) you seen naked women PLENTY of times
-----
someone like a teen who hasn't that many naked women yet would get instant erections from just looking at porn but as time goes on those instant erections will fade away because you would be becoming more and more immune to seeing naked women in porn.
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Hi , thx for your answer.
Have you rebooted from porn induced ED?
So in your opinion erection from that kind of stimulation has no influence on progress of reboot? Cause i have got instant erection maybe 2 months ago on same kind of striptease videos?

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Errrr, this is typical example of depression+anxiety+fear talking.The negative thinking that is.

The only solution is to ignore it
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Ill tell you something - i have been thinking exactly the way you did, even relapsed once because of that thinking but right now i am chatting with a girl i was with today and who i like, and i am having THE BONER. Oh yes, THE BONER by just flirting with a girl. I forgot how that felt. Never despair! You will get back to normal. But don't set deadlines to yourself. Just keep up with the no PMO - the day you started your no PMO session should be the last day you will ever watch porn in your life and mastrubate to it. So no pressure. Enjoy life, find a hobby, and when the time comes you will be normal once again!
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1923088 tn?1338603606
That's when you know rebooting has worked!!!

When you get a stiffy over things you would have completely ignored before.
Talking to a woman, sitting close next to one you like taking the time to truly admire a woman.

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You are right, i haven't enjoyed flirting with a girl this much since....crap i can't remember xD i still can't belive how porn has destroyed my love life. I can honestly say that i am still a virgin because of porn. But it really doesn't matter since now i have met a perfect girl for me. My boners aren't still 100% but i hope that will change as i get more intimate with her. Its definetly a drastic change but i can't say still that i am fully hooked off porn...they still give me dopamine rushes but less than before...
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And if there is no girl present? How can i know f im not flirting with a girl?
If i test myself just with touch , do i have to get boner after few seconds or it can get up after a minute or 2 ?
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In my early to mid 20's I was able to last for hours with good erections before my porn addiction.  I am now 30 and have been struggling with PE for about 4 years now.  I believe that my porn addiction is the cause of my lack of stamina and over sensitivity.  Has anyone else had this issue to where they were once a strong performer who lost their abilities due to porn addiction? Or has anyone heard of someone who actually recovered from it by using the no PMO method?
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hey im 27 yrs old male, i hav been masturbating since i ws 20 yrs and my mind never be in my control wen eva i see any sexy lady or movie i feel like to *** ryt dat moment. i hav been dating my girl friend from ling time , but i neva feel any prob while v r having sex, evrythngz gng on gud .. i get erection at tym and still now i dont hav any prob in my sex life ..

but i just want 2 knw wat will be d future problems if i didnt stop doing this masturbation?? pls guys temme in detail wat all can happen in future , i may be gettn married in a yr ...so jst worried abt dat amd health wise am some wat weak , body pains and all...even am trying 2 stop dis very soon ..
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Well you certainly wont get hard after a few seconds...try some light testicle massage and then try to touch yourself gently. If you manage to get an erection you are good. People with porn induced ED cannot get erect just by touching themselfs. But you should really try to flirt with a girl to see how you perform.
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When i started abstaining from PMO i coudn't even get erect on porn, it was that bad. Abstaining from PMO can and will give you back your erections.
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Mastrubation is ok - porn is the problem. Porn addiction can give you erectal disfunction, and maybe even premature ejaculation. You may lose interest in women and have a habit of watching porn every day even if you dont't feel horny. You may also feel depressed, you may lack self-confidence, and you will lose ability to succesfully have sex with a women.
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concur with u flavius54. I experienced them all those yrs but now i am better than b4, and my strength in the gym is higher, and my muscles are developing amazingly. I have not fully recovered only get 100% erection with morning wood. other erection like stimulated will be 70 - 85 % erection. I also tried a supplement (herb/natural) L-arginine  last 2 weeks  and my erection was 100% and i was having random erection when ever i was relaxed or thinking of a chick. I stopped the L-arginine because i don't want to give credit to it when i recover. I want to make sure that i have fully recovered b4 i take Arginine. The primary purpose of L-arginne in my case is for bodybuilding. It produces blood flow, initiates NO (nitrogen oxide). Atleast i know that my **** is functioning just need to heal the damn mind.
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LOL, i don't belive it, my story just got out on yourbrainonporn.com! :D I feel like a celebrity! :) Thanks Gary if you are watching this thread!
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After today I will have made it 90 days!!

But here some things about my process... I still don't get morning wood, I do get erections thought the day just thinking about sex. When I do get a bonner it's pretty hard.

I still don't know if I'm 100% healed maybe i should give it a shot?
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Congratulations! Well the real test should be with a girl. After 3 months i think you can perform. But if you are a virgin you should take it slow it a girl. Let your brain rewire to the real deal.
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Congratulations man, you should definitely try it.
I still have a long way to go but there are good signs. This week i got erections every morning.
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Take anything you read here with a "grain of salt". I see posts that offer differ in advice, experiances. I myself was a porn addict( masturbating to it) and it caused tremendous ED. The rebooting process is an avenue to overcome ED, but is not the only one. Read a post a few postings up where one poster told another poster that the hand job he got from his lady friend is bad for the rebooting process( pure BS, interaction with a female is a good thing).....But some advice. 1. Don't get so caught up in the rebooting process. Sure as I said, it's an avenue to help beat ED induced porn, but not the only one. There is a poster on here who has a tracker and is "PMO" free for a few months now. He will stress and stress the "rebooting process"; And often invokes religion or spirituality in his advice. It's quite possible he's just a church fanatic who thinks doing away with porn is the job of the church, and might not even have had an ED problem. His deal is he want's you to be free of porn, masturbation, etc...Likely cause it's his way of freeing the world of porn, sin, sexuality, lust, one person at a time. He want's you to be free of everything from sex to porn for 90 days.....

              I was a masturbating to porn addict for 7 years. I installed broadband internet in my home in 2004 and did not quit for 7 years. The ED began maybe 7 months after I started masturbating to porn in 2004. January 1st, 2012 I quit. No more masturbating to porn. How? I had to. My sex life was terrible, and I often spent 5-7 hrs a day on weeknds on it. It was consuming my life.......... But here's the deal. Masturbating to porn was consuming and leading to ED, personality problems, falling behind on other things. I tried the rebooting process 4 times starting last summer. It was not for me. If it's for you, great. But just cause you can't reboot by being free of masturbating to porn for 90 days does not mean your stuck.

              I quit watching porn, masturbating to it at the begining of the year. I STILL masturbated. In the bathroom, in the shower, in bed. The first week was hard. Masturbated 3-5 times a day. After 2 weeks, I lost the will to masturbate. I would still masturbate, but there was no motivation to it. No feeling of anytype. But would do it cause my mind and body was so use to it. Without porn, my mind did not have the will to masturbate anymore. It was pretty strange. After a month and month and a half this is what happened. I would have 3-5 days of not masturbating. The all of a sudden on a Saturday( the last time I had masturbated previous to this encounter was the previous WED in the shower) with a lady friend of mine, we were hot and heavy and I got semi-hard. I jerked myself and got super hard and stayed hard. It was amazing. Have not felt anything like that in 7 years. Great sexual experiance and I came to fast. But that event was the spark. It rewired my brain. I knew that If I could keep the masturbation to a minimum, not go crazy with it, display some self control, I could have great erections and have great sex. Well, the fact that I gave up porn was the MAJOR factor in no longer masturbating like a dog.................. I now have gone to masturbating maybe once or twice a week, maybe 3 times. Just in the shower, bathroom.................And when I usually have sex on either WED's or the weekends, I have great erections, sustaining erections. Like a regualr guy.............................. See, I quit masturbating to porn, watching porn. That was the trick for me. Get it out of my like and let the blocks fall in place............ Don't get caught up in the "rebooting" process, upset, discouraged if you fail and fail in the rebooting process. Get porn out of your life, masturbating to it.............. Go from there.
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I agree with you. But if you want to be an individual that gets away from porn and masturbation completely or just masturbate once in a blue moon, the no PMO for 90 days program is a great start.
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Nope u will not relapse. Its normal u didn't instigate it u are right where u are. At-most relapsing will deduct 2 weeks, but that is real relapsing not in ur case.
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I have been there. It's a hard road if you are willing and committed to your relationship. You are dealing with a porn/masterbation addict. It doesn't matter what you look like or how much he loves you, he has an addiction. I have been happily married since August of last year. My husband is an addict. We struggled through our first year of dating for the reasons you wrote here for. When we first met, sex was great, frequent. Then after 3 months it slowed, he bcame less interested. He blamed it on stress, being tired, long days at work. I also began questioning his inability to ejacculate. Then were the problems with ED, not being able to maintain an errection during sex at all.  It got worse when he moved in with me. I am a beautiful, attractive woman-adventerous in bed. I have a high sex drive. I had a difficult time dealing with his reasons for choosing porn/masterbation over a real intimate encounter. He would masterbate every chance he got, in the shower in the morning, in the shower after work. No wonder he never wanted or needed to have sex with me, there was no need. This was everyday. Even on the weekends. He was in denial big time. At first he said that it was a habit, and that he wasn't used to having regular sex. He would get extremely angry when I would confront him, question him, or just try to understand. A mere conversation would turn into a fight because he was so defensive, he would explode. He didn't think that he had a problem, he would argue that men masterbate, the variety thing, to complete denial he was even doing it. I did so much research on the Internet to learn all I could about addiction, and porn addiction. His behavior was typical of an addict (looking at porn even when not masterbating, choosing porn over partner, making excuses not to be with people to make time for porn, ect). I didn't give up on him or our relationship because I love him. I wanted to marry him, but I made it clear to him that I would not marry someone who could not be committed to me. I wanted a husband who wanted to have a sexual relationship with me, not himself. This whole thing was devestating to our relationship. He had to make a choice, he had to admit it to himself. It took many long months for that to happen. It slowly got better, he masterbated and watched porn less often. We had some issues several months after our wedding, and that is finally when he realized that once he was off porn then went back to it that he had a problem. He willingly gave me his smart phone and went to a regular cell phone. We are both very happy. He never realized how much his masterbating affected our sex...he has harder errections that last, and actually is larger-he gained inches, which makes sex awesome for me. I loved him before, I still love him, but sex is much more satisfying for me. I have read so many blogs that encourage woman to dump their partners/husbands, to cheat, ect. If your relationshp is serious and you love one another, please research, read and educate yourself on porn addiction. Fight for your relationship. If he loves you, then he will make the changes. Addiction never goes away, it is something that has to be self-controlled. My husband is learning to control those addictions, and he stays focused knowing that he loves me and could lose me if things ever go back to the way they were.

I also want to add that he is very happy with our sex life! We have been together two years, and have been through a lot of emotional stuff already. However, I am not telling you to stay with someone who is making you unhappy. If he doesn't admit he has a problem, if he doesn't make changes, you will be miserable. It takes two people to make a relationship work, period.
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Hm, i am on day 32 and i was having a nice flatline...then i went out for a coffee and boy this huge-boobs  girl was sitting in the next table.Later that night, in this  bar  with  70-30 women-men ratio and half of em dressed like sluts.


My flatline disappeared and  i want to mb again.I am not worried that i'll give in, im just wondering if this means i took some steps back.
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i forgot to add that morning wood came back too
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For those of us struggling through relapses, I found some info on 'relapse prevention sexual addiction.'
Just google it.
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beenthere86,
Reading your post just breaks my heart.  Your story is exactly like my wife and mine.  My wife did the same exact thing for me, but I was in too much in denial and too deeply addicted.  After 12 years, she couldn't deal with it anymore and we separated.  
I'm glad that you shared a woman's perspective on this.  
Bravo for hanging in with your man!! :)
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beenthere86,
Reading your post just breaks my heart.  Your story is exactly like my wife and mine.  My wife did the same exact thing for me, but I was in too much in denial and too deeply addicted.  After 12 years, she couldn't deal with it anymore and we separated.  
I'm glad that you shared a woman's perspective on this.  
Bravo for hanging in with your man!! :)
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As long as you don't watch porn you haven't taken steps back. The fact that your penis reacted near pretty girls and that you do feel horny is one of the first signs your libido is slowly starting to come back. But be careful, don't mastrubate or it may lead you straight back to porn.
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ok thanks ashawo
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Hm...i am having problem with mastrubation. Even though i don't use porn, i mastrubated 3 times in a row counting today. I have the cravings to mastrubate (not to watch porn) and generally feeling "horny" and the orgasms are great, but i have a headache after mastrubating today and a lack in concentration today. Maybe a little brain fog. I think i am not doing the right thing with mastrubation. I feel kinda wierd. I hope i didn't start to set my progress back. Anyways, i've decided on another month of mastrubation and orgasms starting from today (no porn is of course). I just need to get through the chaser effect these couple of days.
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Hey, I've seen that expression quite a bit what does it mean? chaser effect?
I know it doesnt seem much at all but I managed 4 days and blew it by masturbating (no porn), i find it hard to resist after a couple of days. I think I'll have to get rid of my laptop, seriously.
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This is the chaser effect.

http://yourbrainonporn.com/do-you-need-a-chaser-after-sex

You should read the article. Maybe its what you have, and what is driving you to relapse after a couple of days. Also, if you have a problem with blue balls read this.

http://yourbrainonporn.com/blue-balls-lovers-nuts

Also, you should read the YBOP site as it has numerous information that can help your rebooting process.
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i am a 23 year old male and have had trouble with sexual experinces latley when i was 19 "nothing was a problem" & had a gf i was anxious to have sex but now for the past 2 years of being single i have been off & on with real sex experinces and just thought if i couldnt get "any" just "wack it" and thought nothing of it! I LITERALLY HAVE BEEN Veiwing & masterbating to porno for almost 2years stright now & desprate for help!!! i have tryed to stop cold turkey on my own but no luck i am still able to get an erection & get exited but not so lucky to substane it...& have had recent experinces "3" where i was ready untill it was time to put protection on....simply put my recent sex experiences have not been great for me it is getting to me so much that i am ready to take a vow of solibusy...should i just try to lay off the porn & masterbation for a while & wait it out?! or what?...please help
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glad to know im not alone.  i understand giving up PM.  Why give up having sex with girls?  yeah it fails to get up, but i figure trying will eventually trigger something in the brain for recovery?  i always try to stay confident and keep trying, even though i cant get it up.  please help me recover
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thanks man! yeah I think I've got the chaser effect quite a bit, I've got a month off work too, so I've got more too much free time on my hands... I'll have to get a hobby!
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I am getting better erections around my gf and stuff but my performance anxiety still hunts me like crazy. I had some bad moments with my gf and I literally had to tell her its not her eventhough most women still think it's them. But now that I have a HUGE track record with losing erections, not being in the mood, and getting frustrated too easily I HAD to thoroughly explain this to my gf so she can realize it's not her. I told her this is nothing new and that I've going thru this for the past 15 years and in every relationship. I flat out told my gf that when it comes to having sex I immediately feel so much pressure on the inside that it may kill my erection. In other words, I admitted to my gf that I have been traumatized from all of my past experiences. After I explained all this, my gf says she truly understands me and will accept me for who I am.

I think the KEYWORD to use to make women understand your problem is TRAUMATIZATION. Because that can link back to (for example) a woman being raped, traumatized and having that thought in the back of her mind for the rest of her life.

The bottomline is that I realize that the no PMO theory does help me get better erections and bring more confidence BUT the performance anxiety is NEVER COMPLETELY leaving my life. AND MY GF UNDERSTANDS THIS.

MEN, it's time to let all your thoughts and emotions out the closet with the woman you love because you don't ever want her to start thinking the problem is her.
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hello guys ... im on my reboot period now ... and wt i noticed that ive been sexually exhausted like hell ... its like my penis was begging me to stop masturbating ... ive tried having sex .. i got an erection as soon as a thought that am gonna see a vagina ... i was so glad .. i wasnt 100 % when i got it.. but when i put it in it was 100% and when i took it out for her to suck it (so sorry for the story guys) it was still 100% hard and i put it and it was still hard .. i had a wet dream last week for the first time in my life ... also i keep getting morning errections but 80% errections though .. i think im sexually active right now .. my libido is extremely high .. my penis is sensitive .. all i wanna do is have sex not masturbate ... i relapsed that once ... and masturbated to porn .. i noticed back then that i got a really hard errection to porn without touching my penis .. that really gave me the motivation to stop .. and i knew then that im only having PED .. so please guys dont lose ur motivation ....  its ur future ur penis
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That's good progress don't fall back, you've covered a lot of ground.
Keep your focus and LIVE!!!!!!!!!!

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The reboot process works like charm my progress has been improving rapidly. Wish i can explain it better. Started January relapsed after 1 month (experimenting relapse with PMO) and the result was clear it set me back. Then after additional 1 month relapsed to just MO, and it didn't set me bacl like PMO did. Now 1 month and some days extra (3 months plus in total) I am getting erection spontaneously at least not 90% used to be 80% last week or so. And when i watch mild romance or kissing in a movie scene instantaneous erection (this was not possible b4 even with regular porn; it had to be hardcore for me to get excited then. Right now i believed i am cured but i doubt because i am improving every week. Anyway my goal is to hit 6 months. I plan to abstain 100%. I have built the tolerance to avoid relapse and it was by prevention. Only use my phone to check emails and use PC for strictly Home works and watching espn3 and so on.
I am on a great diet plan so i bet that helps too. I almost took supplements but i quit after a week or so in order to be sure that my progress is intact. Morning wood is occurring more frequent. This thing works as far as am concerned. For some people having anxiety u have to completely relax donot put too much stress on urself b4 sex. Pretend that u are trying to please the chick or something and not urself this will help reduce the anxiety. I know it is tough but my earlier problem was semi erection during sex or even b4 becase my condition now is 50% better then. So anxiety wasn't an issue and i will not let it get me bcos it can actually become a problem. Also some people are afraid of getting a chick pregnant and when  they want to perform their fear will definitely catch up with them. U must think positively. I will update next week.
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What a load of nonsense!

Porn doesn't really cause anything.
Masturbation, with or without porn, can lead to premature ejaculation.


A for men losing interest in their women because of porn, it's usually the way around: it's their women's lack of attractiveness that causes them watch porn and masturbate.
Usually, it happens when women gain too much weight and don't care about their looks. Being overweight can be a HUGE TURN OFF for most men. Unfortunately there's not much men can do by themselves about his, other than telling their women to exercise and lose weight (unfortunately we're kinda hardwired to be attracted to nice bodies) And it's not only weight that matters, it's also the muscle tone.

So here's a very good piece of advice for women: exercise, exercise, exercise! And make sure that you have good diet and don't try to "solve" the problem through diet alone, without physical exercise, because it rarely works.
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just wanted to post a positive update:
for 1 week, stopped PO, i did M up to precum.  I noticed it would get way harder than before, and i could maintain it longer during M.  Before it would not get this hard during M.   Had sex, but couldn't really keep it up, didnt reach O.
for weeks 2-3.  stopped PMO.  I would sometimes visualize girls, and do MINIMAL touching, and I was able to get really hard.  I couldnt do this before.  Make sure your **** isnt used to your hand, so i kept touching to absolute minimal.
later, i had sex with a girl.  I was able to keep it up longer and i came insider her vagina.  yay, the PMO worked!  

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1923088 tn?1338603606
Unfortunately its not that simple.
The addiction to porn does cause changes to the brain.  

Watch these videos and they will explain in detail the changes that take place in the brain.

http://yourbrainonporn.com/your-brain-on-porn-series

When I was in the depths of my PMO addiction I've had women who were above average in looks and I would still suffer from ED.  My mind would want them but my body would not respond.

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Day 20-30 of no PMO was flatline

Hm, on Day 39 of no PMO i Mo'd twice in a row.It felt good, had decent erections and didnt need porn or anything. I guess this is a good sign.

On day 42 today i keep having erections at morning and various times during the day but i dont need to masturbate...aka it doesnt look like i have the chaser effect.

I'll keep going and hope this keeps improving

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First post in here. I actually have been lurking on this forum since beginning of January. I decided today that I would finally post my thoughts and what I have gone through.

I actually began masturbating at a very young age, probably around age 6. But until I was 12 this was just for the feeling. It was in the Summer of 2007 that I first noticed girls more. And it was around this time that I first saw a softcore porn video. It was out of curiosity at first because one of the sites I was on had some nude photos on it and I think this was the very start of my addiction. The thing is though that this was on my parents comuter and not my own, so I actually would only be able to look at anything whenever my parents were out the house, doing shopping etc.

After two years of occasionally sneeking on the computer to see softcore pictures and videos. I then wanted to see more stimulating genres, and I can remember getting a much larger pleasurable feeling this time. Problem was though is I would always feel guilty after, and bad about myself. It was only during Autumn last year where I got my own computer that it went out of control. I noticed around Christmas time that even the hardcore porn wasn't doing it anymore, and in the end even porn was boring. I have been diagnosed with high end functioning Autism recently, but I only developed intense social anxiety when I was around age 13.

When I came across yourbrainonporn.com and this site, it suddenly clicked. I stopped masturbating and looking at porn end of December last year. I stopped masturbating for 40 days, but failed due to anger, frustration and blue-balls pain, but continued to not look at porn. Unfourtunately, I looked at porn again on the 53rd day.

It was the same old story after that, looking at porn, and masturbating to it, but never getting the happiness and rush that I used to get when I began. But on the 19th of March 2012, I stopped again, and am currently on my 24th day of not looking at porn. I have decided that I will masturbate if the craving is very intense, but not out of boredom. I did recently have a wet dream, but it was just before I woke up in the mourning, and in it I was watching some people having sex.

As I don't have a girlfriend and never have done, I wan't all you in here to know that I am doing this to make me get that feeling back again that I used to have if I saw a pretty girl walking down the street, or just saw a softcore image, and actually have an erection and pleasurable feeling, rather then just nothing!

Currently on my 24th day I have had some urges throughout the day, but I get past these by lifting weights or excercising. I notice that I am starting to get erections again if I see the opposite sex which is a good sign.

My aim is to reach 110 days at not looking at porn. And then after that take the filter off, but this time not actively search for it. If I come across a sexy picture for example, I will just expierence the pleasure, but I won't this time masturbate to it or start looking at more extreme stuff.

I am also doing this because I believe this could well be why I have been having depression, intense social anxiety and boredom these past few years. I do seriously believe this is because my brain hasn't been able to feel the more normal releases of dopamine from just the stuff around me that I used to find pleasurable.
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It is that simple.
That's pseudoscience, porn doesn't affect the brain in any way. Dopamine is simply a neurotransmitter and there's no such thing as "addiction" from a purely scientific point of view, that's a social construct.
If you ask those crooks if they are willing to be tested about their ability to detect who watched porn and and who didn't by simply checking brain scans, they'll refuse! Because they're manipulative crooks with agendas, not real scientists.

Billions have watched porn and nothing really happened to anyone.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
Did you watch the videos?

In my experience most crooks want something.

The only cost rebooting has had for me is exercising extreme self control.  
I'm writing from my own experiences and I can say for a fact that I am a totally different man now.

But that's just my opinion.

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1828226 tn?1323568848
You could be partially right...

Porn may not affect a person's sex life IF they are still having real sex WAY MORE than masturbating to porn. I believe everyone on this site has been masturbating to porn way more than having real sex so that's why their brain are experiencing psychological issues. And in order to reverse our psychological issues you have to start having real sex MORE than masturbating to porn. That's why we have a no PMO rule for at least 60-90 days.

So, I'm not ruling out your opinion but excessive porn watching does play a role in one's sex life.
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Am jst 16 i started marsturbation @ 14 will dis do anytin to my health if i countinue??
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I'm on 101 day of PMO I have urge to masturbate can I do this without effecting me??
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Do you have more than an opinion to back up your claims? - "that there's no such thing as "addiction" from a purely scientific point of view, that's a social construct."

Thousands of peer-reviewed studies and 30 years of addiction research demonstrate that you couldn’t be more wrong.

These studies show that both drug addictions and behavioral addictions involve the same mechanisms and same fundamental brain changes.

Let’s see who disagrees with you-

The American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders states that addiction is a disease with a specific set of brain changes associated with a specific set of signs, symptoms and behaviors.

America's top addiction experts and researchers at The American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM) released their sweeping new definition of addiction in 2011.

Here is a brief summary of ASAM's major points:

1. Addiction reflects the same brain changes whether it arises in response to chemicals or behaviors.
2. Addiction is a primary illness. It's not necessarily caused by mental health issues such as mood or personality disorders. This puts to rest the popular notion that addictive behaviors are always a form of "self-medication" to ease other disorders.
3. Both behavioral and substance addictions cause the same major changes in the same neural circuitry: Hypofrontality, sensitization, and desensitization.
4. Engagement in chronic "addictive behaviors" indicates the above brain changes have occurred. Addictive behaviors then become unconscious and habitual.
5. The new definition eradicates the old "addiction vs. compulsion" distinction, which was often used to deny the existence of behavioral addictions, including Internet porn addiction.

A collection of specific signs, symptoms and behaviors point to underlying pathological changes in the brain. When a diagnosis is given, it indicates that a specific collection of anatomical and physiological abnormalities have occurred. Clinical diagnosis is based upon these simple concepts. This was the primary message from ASAM: a collection of signs, symptoms, and behaviors represent a specific set of brain alterations.

The "four C's" are one way to help assess addiction:
1. Inability to Control use
2. Compulsion to use
3. Continued use despite adverse Consequences
4. Craving - psychological/physical

Social constructs don’t show as dozens of specific brain abnormalities
Here are just a few brain changes indentified in brain scans/tests on human subjects. (These large brain changes each reflect multiple, more subtle changes as demonstrated in animal research)

• Altered Regional homogeneity
• Altered Gray matter volume of striatum
• Reduced Gray matter volume of prefrontal cortex
• Abnormal Integrity of white matter in frontal cortex
• Abnormal levels of myelin connecting frontal cortex to striatum
• Changes in amygdale gray matter
• Decline in D2 receptor density in the striatum
• Reduced baseline dopamine levels in striatum
• Reduced Dopamine transporter availability
• Cue induced dopamine release in the dorsal striatum
• Cue induced dopamine release in the ventral striatum
• Cue induced activity of the prefrontal cortex
• Decline in Glucose metabolism in the frontal cortex
• Abnormal Dopamine response induced by intravenous methylphenidate
• Altered cortisol/ACTH response

Many of these changes have been recently found in food addicts, video game addicts and now in - Internet addicts. In fact, ten very recent brain studies on Internet addicts have found all the same brain changes as seen in drug addicts. These studies included porn users, but didn’t isolate them from users of other Internet applications.

Please provide research to back up your claims that addiction is a social construct.

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