Aa
A
A
Close
Avatar universal
Too much porn/masturbation cause ED?
Hi I m a 28 year old and suffer some degree of ED in recent. I start masturbated since I m 19 and usually use porn as a form of visual stimiulation. I have observed that I have lost the ability to maintain erect during intercource or I only get weak erection. My question is: does masturbation in association with porn will "exhaust" my interest towards sex and create a negative impact on my ability to get aroused in real sex? I m worried cause I think I m still young to have physical cause  for ED. Any thought?
Cancel
3309 Answers
Page 4 of 17
1665547 tn?1339289025
I have completed 32 days without porn & masturbation.

I had a WET DREAM last night. this was the first time i had a wet dream in my life (Im 25 now and im masturbating since i was 14 almost every day).

Is wet dream a good sign that im resensitized myself  ???????
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I think it is a good sign! What I think that matters is to have the need to go and lookout and have sex and to not depend on masturbation to satisfy your needs!
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Are you getting morning erections just yet? What are you doing as part of your recovery?
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
ok i just found this thread here. first time on the site in general.  im hoping this will work because i will admit i masturbate way too much.some times 3 4 times in the day. at times its not even that long after the first one. and it never crossed my mind that it would be the cause of my problem. i can get oral sex with no problem. ill keep my erections till the end. but when it comes down to actually having sex. i loose it before i even get in. theres times where ill end up having to masturbate just to be on her level of satisfaction.

Now ive been worried for some time now. i wasnt sure if i was over thinking it. or if there was just something wrong with me.  im hoping this is the solution though... i wasnt able to read threw all 624 comments but if someone can comment on this and give me a tip or something in case this doesnt fix the problem. and seeing how much ive actually masturbated sense well i was 12 how long do u think it would be before i could be where i should be.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
1665547 tn?1339289025
My morning erections are not regular, just 2-3 times a week But my erections are strong.
Im doing Kegal everyday.its really helpful.

I hv found that not only porn is a problem but strange sexual fantasies can possibly slow things down. Those 32 days were very difficult for me bcoz i was not only abstaining from M&P but also from sexual fantasies now this is really difficult one to stop.As i stay further and further away from P&M/fantasies i find myself having an easier time getting aroused by real women. However sometimes i find that fantasy still creeps in. I try not to but i find it difficult to keep some of those fantasies out.

I had to change my habits.No more junk foods,regular gym, eat protein rich diet.

Im not 100% cured yet.I hv to deal with performance anxiety. my last sex was not good.i was nervous.But next month i will go out and test myself with real woman.

Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
    Glad to have stumbled upon this gem of a site. I was simply inquiring if there were actually any negative side effects of pornography and according to this site, a form of ED stems from it. I am a 22 year old male who has been engaging in MB+P for at least 10 years. I cannot predict the day my intriguing habit became a crazed  addiction, but I do know I have been MB+P'ing at least once a day presumably for more than 6 years, sometimes getting up to a painful 10(in a day) before calling it quits.
    
    However, in the past 2 years my addiction has gotten way out of hand, and until i stumbled on this site 4 hours ago, I didn't believe I truly had a problem. After reading almost all of the posts on this page, I quickly began picking out very similar "issues" I could relate with because of my nightly computer date. Sadly, sometimes I'll stay up until the early morning hours looking for videos, keeping 5 videos tabbed and anytime i finish one i would searched for another because I do realize the "high" it gave me.
    
    Now that I know I am addicted to MB+P and that it's been the root cause of my couple past "short-comings", I intend to go clean starting today and I will have followups (hopefully successful ones). Unfortunately, I had to notch one out for good farewell but it's better to be ready to quit than to not be!

    Wish me luck, I deleted the dirty material off my hard drive, cleared my history and am in the process of obtaining a good free internet filter. If anybody knows a good free one please share. Sorry for the big post, hope it was worth the read!
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I have been at it for about 6.5 weeks but no consistently STRONG erections just yet.  But I just started the kegels a few days ago.  
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I don't see how kegels can give better and stronger erections... in my opinion, all it do is make your penis move by itself.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Here's ANOTHER approach i found very helpful for helping ED in a relationship with ur gf. Honestly, TRY THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I found this approach worked wonders: When ur getting cosy with her (eg kissing, feeling etc) it seems fine until u start getting to the actual sex part. Well for me anyway, im fine with oral etc but when clothes come off i go kinda limp. So if the actual 'sex' part isnt there, i tend to have no real issue. For example, if we're in my room making out and my brother's home, i know were not gonna try to have sex, leaving my erection fine and my mind is at ease and i enjoy myself. But when we're home alone i feel like there's some expectation to perform. And if were home alone getting pretty intimate i soon go limp cause i start thinking "ok, dont go limp now.. were home alone and gonna have sex. dont go limp" - which of course doesnt work, and i fail to perform.

So what we decided to do was to just "not have sex" for a few months. Regardless of perfect timing, or how we felt, we would always stop at the actual sex part. We could kiss, rub, do oral and everything but just no sex. This made me SO MUCH MORE RELAXED. We'd start making out and i wasnt worried about 'what's gonna happen when we try to have sex' cause it was current 'off limits'. Eventually u feel more confident with ur performance. From here u can work your way up to sex without having to undertake a huge jump and undertake the anxiety of performance expectations that go with it. Work your way in steps at your own pace.. start taking more clothes off, but dont have sex. Start taking even more clothes off and get more and more comfortable with her naked body, but dont have sex. U see where this is going? You will naturally get more comfortable with this and will eventually have sex, just out of pure progression. But u gotta do this at ur own pace and use the concept of "we're not gonna have sex" as a relaxing stimulant (i know that sounds like a paradox, but u know what i mean).

This hardest part about this is confronting ur gf with the idea and admitting u have a problem. I really hope u guys are all able to find a girl who is patient enough to cooperate. But if u can manage that, this is REALLY a good approach. Honestly.

Let me know if this helps or not guys, good luck!!!!
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
idea sounds good but don't the more and more you take off clothes, you know you're getting to the point it's almost time to have sex? once you get to the point you're in your draws and she's in her panties you know sex is coming soon so naturally the tension is building up.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I just found this site.

For me Its gotten so bad that when I go to a club and dance with a hot girl I cant get an erection even when shes grinding on me to feel one. I get real depressed and jack off to porn just to make sure im not dead or something. Its worrying me and I find that it takes more and more extreme types of porn to turn me on.

I realize that maybe im just going through anxieties of job search and looking for self reassurance but I need find a way to stop. Sometimes I jack off so much that my penis and groin area below the balls throb. After a while I pretty much squirt air but cant seem to stop.

Somethings gotta give or I fear my penis is going to quit on me or girls I meet are going to think im gay cause I cant get a proper erection
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
stop worrying just quit porn and masturbation and orgasm for a degree of time usually 8 weeks sometimes more sometimes less depending on the individual dont touch your self at all and dont view anything on the internet if you even get hard looking at something on the computer your failing because that is a natural stimulus
with your brain screaming for stimulus it will turn to anything and that is when you show it that the only way you will orgasm or be turned on is by a real female
thats all it takes seriously just stick to the program its a lifestyle change
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I nearly failed today, the 24th day so far.

In short, I saw a few pictures of my hot friend and gave in to my temptation... started masturbating. I went to the edge of orgasm, until quite a few drops of semen were ejaculated. I know I can produce a much larger load, so this, to me, was the beginning of a huge orgasm.

I stopped immediately, but now I'm wondering, does this constitute an orgasm? Now I feel a slight strain in my groin. just a sore feeling, that I have experienced after orgasm. However, I know I have not fully orgasmed yet, based on my previous orgasms.

Do I have to start over? Would appreciate any advice regarding this!
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
dont start over but its not good you edged basically worse than orgasm as you prolonged the chemicals in going to your head dont slip up again its good to be on day 25 and not day one
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
is it ok if during this 2 month period if you orgasm with your partner or should you obstain from orgasms all together?  Just a thought, but wouldn't doing things with your partner and having orgasms with them help you in the healing process as it would help you become more attracted to them?
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I'm NO expert but I do believe that the process would be BEST served with NO orgasm whatsoever.  This will likely expedite your recovery.  I previously gave it up but while still having sex with a partner and did not make a full recovery.  This time I have decided to go without orgasm entirely.  
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
How has your recovery been going to this point?
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Ok Guys, think I am a good model to comment on this, and would love your advice and feedback.....

I am 37, have been a avid masterbater since I was 13........And have had major problem with acne, even have breakouts to this day. So I am a testement that masterbation does cause acne, for one reason or another....... But back to the post.........I masterbate maybe 3-5 times a day, mostly to porn. But I will spend hour-to 2-3 hours masterbating to porn, sometimes ejaculating 2-3 times per sitting.I also developed the habit of joining swinger sites and masterbating to the profiles and pictures of swingers............I do have a gf, and we are in an open relationship. With my gf, I can get hard usually, and we have quick sex. But far short of what really we should be doing at our age....... I also meet couples and single females on swinger sites for one time random encounters(always practive safe sex)..... But when meeting others for secual encounters I usually have to stroke myself to get erect, and when I do get erect, it does not stay hard for very long..........There has been one instance where I was meeting this girl who was stayind at a hotel on business( met her through craigslist)......I had not msterbated in 3 days, and i was a little nervous as I was driving to meet her. On the way there my gf called and we got into a huge fight about my buddy who was going to saty with us for a few days, huge fight.............Aftet the phone call I got off the car and walked to the hotel to meet the girl. We were in bed maybe 15 minutes after I got there, and I had the greatest erection ever with incredible staying power. I could switch positions and move around and the erction just satyed, I mean it was mesmerizing.....................But I have not had that sensation yet since that time......I'm wonderig if it was a combination of not masterbating for 3 days, and the fight with my gf wiping out all anxiety and just leeting me mind be in a natural state, thus putting my body at ease and giving me an that amazing erection..............But I think i do have a problem with masterbating to porn/ adult pictures online. It is affecting my ability to have sex and to please the others I am with and myself.....I have tried stopping masterbating to porn/pictures, but the most I go is 2 days............I have considered visitng a doctor to get Viagra/Cialis to see if they might be able to get fully erect when I need to.............Do you guys think that would help? I realise I need to stop watching and masterbating to pen, but it has not been easy. I mean i function well, work alot, work out 4-5 days a week, I am in great shape, dont smoke, social drinker.....I guess I am just looking for advice from somebody, or somebody who might have some of the experiances I am going through......................Thanks
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Now it seems that I'm frustrated a lot now, I want to find a girl and have sex but I know I'm still another 7 weeks or probably more than that before I'm cured or close to being.

I want to ejaculate and masturbate and want to watch porn but cant.

Everything sex related seems to **** me off. I hate watching tv now because of the fact that nearly everything on tv is related to sex, from commercials for viagra and victoria secret to sitcoms that have sex jokes every other word.

Even the simple act of listening to the radio is pissing me off because every song is about some girl being attracted to some guy or some guy having sex with some chick.

I'm pissed off that I cant have sex with a woman or rather i'm unable to because a few women I've met recently have been flirting with me, but I dont return the feeling because of knowing that once it gets to sex I'm not going to be able to perform.

I want this to be over with. I'm tired of being this way. I WANT TO FEEL LIKE A MAN AGAIN. I WANT A WOMAN TO WANT ME.

THIS BLOWS!
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I MOST DEF FEEL U MAN!!!  Focus on the big picture & focus on your other hobbies.  Something to get your mind off of it.  Oddly enough there are some girls that are MORE attracted to me recently because now I SEEM not to have time for them and am focused on more important things than sex (if they only knew)!!  But I definitely know the feeling you are having!  I think we've all felt like this at one point or another!  DO NOT GO BACK to the p  mb!!!  This is a part of the process.  Your mood swings are going to be vicious! BUT YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I am getting SOOOOOO worried. I am only 16, almost 17, and I am not able to get hard from looking at hot girls anymore. If i do get hard, its only like 60% or even less hard. I am a few days into stopping p and mb. I keep thinking that this won't work and Ill be ruined forever. Im also worried that stopping mb, will actually make me less able to get erections. I will feel much better if a few people replied to this comment, with their opinions on the best way to get back to normal. Sex is one of the greatest things live has to offer, and If i can't function during sex, my life is pretty much ruined. Someone please help me with a plan.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Also, I have made it a week and a half into no mb. I did not see any progress. Is it true that I will only see progress after weeks and weeks of no mb? I NEED some motivation. These thoughts are killing me, that i wont be able to recover. I need someone to reply that has seen progess after a few weeks, and not just 1 or 2 weeks.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
@ your age I seriously doubt you have to be permanently worried about this.  Just give it some time & you will certainly recover.  Although the process can take weeks to months potentially though.  & at your age you can actually have a girlfriend without having to have sex with her (depending on the girl anyway)! Just be patient you will be FINE! Just stay away from the porn & mb (staying away from sex in the short term may be a good idea as well).
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Hang in there man! You will come right. It may take a couple of months, which may seem a long time, but in the grand scheme of things it is just a blip on the radar

It takes time for the old worn out pathway between P+M in your brain to grow grass again. A lot of members on this site recommend turning your focus to other past times/hobbies etc and try not to even think about M P or fantasizing.

Let your motivation be eventually having great sex again. Your still so so young, you have your life ahead of you and you have realized your problem early on. Good on you for wanting to stop, but you have to be strong and positive. NO PEEKING....
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Just wanted to pass along a bit of a success story as I know I once wanted to just see one or two myself. I've been Porn free now for over 3 months and I see myself as being at about 80% normal. I do MB but only 1-2 a week with NO porn. At the two month mark I did slip and hit the porn for 2-3 days and saw myself slip right back again so STAY AWAY from it.

You cannot ever go back to it, just a little bit and your mind/body seems to take you back to where you were at your worst. If you want to be with a woman normally again, STAY AWAY.

Also, at this point when I MB I don't think about anything I've seen on the net. I think about a real woman I've been with. This happens naturally and I've seen no ill effects afterwards. I can even have successful sex shortly after.

One other thing I would advise to everyone is, to have a prostate exam. I had an enlarged prostate with an infection that I did not know about and the doc said this would often cause issues with erections. (I'm 38 btw and I'm in superior physical shape). Hope this helps guys.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
hi ,my partner and i have been two geather four about a year now. at the time sex was all ways very good and i was fealing more loved because of that ,my partner is all ways fliking on his bits when i am out of the room and closeing posn sites down as i see that they have guy on it , i am now lucky if i get anything four more than two months apart and its driveing me crazy i suffer from miled learning problames and i am whundering if it is that,i have been very sacrefiseing two him i wuld not even watch adullt sites on the net untill i found out he did it him sellf , i am very scary that he wuld think of cheating as i feel that it is a form of ,i am not feeling much love bye him i no sex is not every thing but when i dont get it at all i am att he momen feeling very up set down and drinking alot ,can any one send me an email ***@****
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
im 18 and have turned down many girls due to ed. i have only had sex with two girls. one is my girlfriend i had for about 3 years. we had sex daily and i had NO problems except for the first few times we attempted. the other was a one night thing, i was able to relax (was trying to sleep) then i was calm enough to get hard. so basically i get too anxious before sex and can't get hard.. i also think about all the previous times i couldnt get hard. i masturbate about 2-3 times a day and i think if i hold off on masturbation, i will be a lotttttt more horny when it comes to sex that i will be able to get over my anxiety. with my girlfriend i was able to masturbate once a day and still have sex ~3 times with, but i was 100% comfortable with her, so i dont think i have an actual health issue, just nerves.

do you think not masturbating will help me get over anxiety? i might be too caught up in excitement to start worrying (like how i felt with my girlfriend).
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Okay..so I failed my initial attempt of no M&P for 7 days on the sixth day. I wasn't really that horny, but I did look at some softcore pictures like hot singers or bikini girls most of those days, so a voice in me said that I wasn't living up to my promise anyway. It was a lack of motivation plus a little bit of stress that day that led to a relapse with M and O.

Still, 5 days with no O (I did M a little) was the longest time I did in years. I wasn't too discouraged. Interestingly, I started dating this girl and she seems to be into me. I went without any M at all easily for 2 days. On the third day, I got real anxious and then blown out when she wasn't returning my calls, and resumed M&P without resistance..

She called back and I decided I would trust her and myself from then on. However, I still M'ed the next 2 days. This was odd because I'd always thought I would be able to stop if I had a girl in my life. P was only a substitute. I certainly did not realize P's harm...I like this girl, she's really pretty in a normal way, not a P way...and has a good personality, but I don't even have any sexual thoughts with her. P has f'ed up my brain.

I've been trying to use my feelings for her/guilt/whatever as a mental aid to motivate me to no MP, but so far it seems to be mediocre. I M'ed today out of boredom after putting up with something I had to do. Boredom is another risk factor.

Seriously, I do see the cold-hard benefits of no M&P now, as if I pull it off, I may have recovered when I get to have sex with this girl. No pressure in that on me though because our culture is conservative, so a few months without sex (or even before marriage) is normal. I want to turn this into a motivation for me to stop, as it's now-or-never...I can either live a good life like all the people around me that don't know about my P problems believe, or completely be left lonely with ED.

I know I need to occupy myself with new hobbies as well, but so far have not been able to nail them down. I will try to post them here once I come up with any. I find posting on here helps me have clearer goals. :)
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I don't think there would be anyone posting or reading this forum who hasn't relapsed.

In my case its been 8 weeks since I decided to stop. And managed to for the first 3 weeks, when I had successful sex with my gf. I thought I had cracked it, but this wasn't the case.

I have found myself looking at softcore (out of boredom), women in bikini's etc, some M but no O. My libido is at an all time low, even when in bed with my gf.

I know that the fastest route to recovery is to remove any temptation from my life and refocus, turning my time to other pursuits. So about 8 days ago I made a pact with myself to get serious and stop any temptation to have a look, even changing channels on tv if a program looks a bit racy...

Now I have been getting back into recording music, which for me is a great distraction and rewarding... cant believe how much time I wasted looking at P!

I highly recommend getting a hobby, reading, watching movies, whatever.

When I first read that it would take 2-3 moths to recover, I thought that wasn't too long to wait. If I had been strong and stuck to my original plan, I would nearly be there by now.

My gf has been so patient with me. I owe it to her also to get my act together and seriously kick this pathetic habit in the head!

I will post my progress, as hopefully this will also keep me focused.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
My main goal is to be able to get hard and stay hard and be interested in sex the entire time I'm doing it, just enjoying it the whole time and really getting into it to the point I cant stand it anymore and I HAVE to have sex with her. That strong sexual attraction.

I dont want to get bogged down and wonder if my **** is going to work, if I'm going ot get an erection, if I'm going to please her this time, etc.

I just want to be able to get through foreplay and have a strong erection throughout. Because many of you know that I'm a virgin and still havent had sex with a girl and the time I got close I couldnt get an erection no matter how hard I tried. She ended up leaving me 3 days later saying she wasnt attracted to me. So now I'm reeling and doubting myself.

I'm seeing results now that I limit masturbation and dont do it 2-3 times daily anymore. I've relapsed 2-3 times and make it 4-5 days before falling off the wagon, mainly because I dont have a big reason to push me to go cold turkey. But just by going stretches of 5 days at a time and not masturbating I've noticed that where there once was a limp, lifeless, numb penis there is now a stronger, more full looking penis, that I can lightly play with and get a decent amount  of response from. Erections arent allt he way there yet, but I'm hopeful.

So here's hoping that after the 8 weeks, or I might give myself 12 weeks just to make sure, of no porn and no masturbation I'll be cured and right as rain. I'll hopefully be able to be attracted to the girl I'm with 100% and wont need to worry about the erections and they'll just come naturally.

I pray its so.

-Matt
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Everyone affected should read this FREE e-Book posted at this site. It can help you understand whats going on with your erections.  I have learned that prolactin does not play as big a part in most of our issues as I previously thought.  It is strictly sensitivity to dopamine in most our cases if what is listed here holds true.  I have stayed away from porm & m/b for almost 8 weeks.  No favorable results just yet (may take longer for me) but I it seems I misunderstood the goal.  I slipped up & looked at porn a few weeks ago but did not mb.  I also had a girls that wanted to have sex with me that where in my presence (I was turned on) but didn't follow through with it.  Basically I have not ejaculated since March 27.  But these situations easily would have flooded my brain with dopamine (& probably did since I was left with Blue Balls).  So now my goal is to go without being 'turned on'!!  This is tough.

http://recoveringman.com/catalog.php
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I  haven't wrote on this forum for awhile. I too have relapsed a few times with P/M falling way short of my 8 week goal. So far its been a week with no P/M. It is tempting b/c im not getting as much action as before since the baby. Plus I'm sleeping on the couch at night with him which eliminates any possiblity of having sex with my wife.  she'll give me a ** with no problems. Since the baby came home I only had sex with my wife once and it's frustrating b/c I use to watch porn and masturbate if I wasn't having sex and now my balls is turning completely blue. I know it's just as bad for her cause I haven't been able to go down south for awhile. Maybe things will change once the baby is sleeping in the crib. For the meanwhile I have to find quality time with my wife. I dont really have a question I just wanted to express my frustrations.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
you should masturbate once the day before you go to **** your girl, just to get the juices flowing again, because a month is a long time bro, trust me
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Dude, if you have read anything about what numerous psychologists and doctors and most of the people posting on this forum have said about masturbation and ED, the worst thing you could do is to M the day before having sex with your gf.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Hey guys

Just wanna share my current status with you guys.

After I've found this forum and the reason behind my problem. I went to my TCM doc and consulted him about it. He had suspected M/P was my main reason for my failure to "stand" when engaging in sex all along as I've previously went to him to consult him about it but did not mentioned to him that I've watch porn and masturbated to it excessively. He did prescribed me some meds before that which did help me with my anxiety and depression problems. after he knew that my excessive formula of M/P was the main reasons to my problem, he changed and prescribed me with new meds and did acupuncture on me which helps to clear my brain of most unwanted chemicals and help to tone my body and mind to tackle the problem.

Now after 2 sessions of acupuncture and TCM meds from him, my manhood is more or less functional and all my sexual encounters with my gf were awesome, I've morning woods. But no matter what I'm not going back to porn as it really affects your brain and sex life.

For those who're willing to give TCM a try I've to warn you, you need to make sure the guy is certified and really know what he's doing. If you've got a good doc, you will be cured in no time. If not, stick to the normal, longer way of abstinence. Those who lives in Singapore can PM me for the address and contact no., the docs really famous for both male and female fertility issues and have had cured and helped solved lots of peopl's problems.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Just checking in. Fifth day of no M&P whatsoever, or racy images for that matter. I was under significant stress from work a couple nights ago working extra time at home, but I did not relapse. Proud of myself.

Things are going well with the girl I'm seeing. Got another date tomorrow...I'm looking to get a bit physical (but only if the timing is right) and get to experience a real girl. (it's not about sex yet, just getting more comfortable with a female will help recovery I suppose)

I tried to get a hardon by thinking about her yesterday, but it didn't work. My D shrank a lot too I've noticed and I don't have sexual urges, but it's a good thing for abstinence.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
For those of us who are slow and don't understand everything you are saying.  Is TCM is for Traditional Chinese Medicine?  What meds where you prescribed and can you tell us more about the process and acupuncture?  
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I've not watched porn for a couple of month now and I do miss it, keep at it guys. If u do feel the need to masturbate, use your head and fantasize instead, rather than using porn. I'm far from fixed, I.e. sex with my girlfriend doesn't turn me on, but hopefully what i'm doing is helping. Has anyone found any material on the science of this...or any proof? Any successful treatment stories? Has anyone been taken seriously by their gp?
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Just out of interest. Has anyone noticed this. Sometimes when I have sexual dreams, which are very real I feel so turned on, like back when I was a teen at school, and I wake up with a huge boner, so I know it works. But I cannot recreate this in reality. I find this strange as a sexy dream would indicate that my imagination isn't screwed completely as dreams u have no control over. Why can I be so turned on from a dream but not a normal real sex scenario. Argh. Anyone else noticed this? Also I get morning wood a lot and go in for the kill with my girlfriend but almost instantly when I get more awake my desire vanishes. It's mental.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Yup, TCM stands for Traditional Chinese Medicine.

For the meds, I cant really tell you what I was prescribed as it varies and differs for everyone. It depends on how much prolactin exists in your brain and how your actual state of your body is.

In TCM, everybody's body is different,  you are categorized to one of the following:

Yin vacuity (also termed "vacuity-heat"): heat sensations, possible night sweats, insomnia, dry pharynx, dry mouth, dark urine, a red tongue with scant fur, and a "fine" and rapid pulse.[12]
Yang vacuity ("vacuity-cold"): aversion to cold, cold limbs, bright white complexion, long voidings of clear urine, diarrhea, pale and enlarged tongue, and a slightly weak, slow and fine pulse.

or

Balanced of Yon and Yang, which is what everyone should aim for.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traditional_Chinese_medicine#Yin_and_yang

According to my doc, for many of us who have this problem we're actually yin vacuity, those who're heaty tends to have performance anxiety problems, and various other problems that causes the problems we're having now.  
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I would recommend not fantasizing when masturbating. By doing this you are still reinforcing the connection which has lead to ED.

Forum member, Klueless posted a really interesting link recently. It is an e book which gets to the cause and explains how to overcome psychologically embedded fears/hangups which can lead to ED. It seems to me that maybe you could benefit from checking it out. In my opinion what he has to say makes a lot of sense and it has given me a new focus, as well as practical steps to full recovery.

Thanks for the link Klueless

http://recoveringman.com/catalog.php
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I dont see the harm in fantasizing as long as you arent fantasizing about over the top hardcore situations like that which is found in porn.

If its a girl you know or a girl you're seeing or something and you think about her and not some fantasy situation, then I think that can only strengthen the connection with her in your mind. Just try to keep those times you think of it to a minimum because I think were pre-wired to go towards fantasizing.

But thats just my opinion, I'm not a medical professional by any means, so take that as just my opinion.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
1694141 tn?1306438653
I have to comment on the issue of pornography with your mate. I have been married for 12yrs and with my husband for 14yrs. We got together very young. We have two kids and after all the time and the kids we have a greaaaaat sex life. One reason we do is because we vowed a long time ago not to involve another person or pornography into our relationship. WHY? Because if you or your mate can not get hot and heavy from just being with eachother then there's your problem. For whatever reason, there is only a semi-attraction. In a relationship of real love and friendship, you always have an attraction to your mate.WHY? Because love is blind, it allows us to look at our mates and not see their physical deffects. Pornography is not the answer to your problem. Communication is. If your mate can not stay UP for the entire duration of sex with you, then you and him need to sit and communicate about whats going on. If he is as lost as you are, then he needs to see a doctor. If your mate at anytime needs to look at a porn flick or a magazine to get UP or arroused to make love to you, then thats a serious problem. You do not look like the women on those movies and magazines, so who do you think he is thinking of while having sex with you? NOT YOU! He is imagining the big perky breasted woman with the perfect shape and long hair...... etc.... To me, I would rather my mate think about me and how much he wants me. Wouldn't you? I have never and my husband has never had to bring anything other then our selves into our sex life..THINK ABOUT IT...
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Just found this forum today. I was looking at porn and realized this has to stop. I always thought there would probably be a consequence to frequent m&p but I'd just push the idea out of my mind. But now, over 4yrs later, at the age of eighteen, I feel stupid for letting it go on to the point where it's problematic. I can't get it up really unless I physically stimulate it and once it is, it's not as hard as it used to be. I see a woman I know is hot but don't feel the heat, ya know? Well, a little, but it's not nearly how it used to be. I miss the man drive. The one that if you see a babe, you feel weird in the head, everything almost feels slow motion, and your fighting to not pop one cause you're in public. Now, I feel dead. It ***** because I have a friend and it might get to be more than that and I want to at least get a hard-on if we make out. I'm a Christian so I'm trying to save myself for marriage because everyone I talk to says they should have waited. I know most guys on here have sex partners and are trying to improve their performance, but I just want my mojo back! = /

So I guess this is day 1. I hope for my sake and the sake of others, I see positive results and can share them to encourage others to stay strong. = )

Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I understand this, as a gamer, and a guy with the same problem, this seems to me to be a case of exchanging one addiction for a another.

I used to do it a lot when I couldn't play my games, I found that I uncounsioiusly made up for it with a different activity usually television or searching the internet, and the opposite aswell.

It is possible that without the porn he is a less sexually active person because when we are use to erotic things we crave them.


   If you want to spend more time together try pulling him away from the game BEFORE HE STARTS PLAYING IT becuase if not he won't stop till he feels the need and will most likely be too drained to do anything.

If you want to get more physical try going on some dates or maybe renting a erotic movie and watching it together to get some new ideas for bed.

I wish you luck.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
wow. i recently just started having problems with my gf to keep a hard on all the way through sex. i started getting really scared as i thought i might have ed, but now that i have found this forum i feel a lot better about myself already. i can say i had a serious m&p addiction in my younger years. btw im only 19. but i never actually thought about how porn has been destroying my love life with a woman. about 2 years ago i found a girl who was very controlling over me but we loved one another none the less and i never had any problems getting an erection and keeping it with her at all. well thats cuz i wasnt allowed to masturbate haha thats funny sounding. anyways now im in a different relationship with a woman who i really feel comfortable with and i want to be with for mayb the rest of my life and she feels the same. she also likes women, yea i know it sounds great but she wont bring a gf over, i already asked. but she is plenty enough for me alone. but since she is more open ive recently started watching porn again.....and outta nowhere im starting not to be able to keep my hard on. i never really had a problem with quitting looking at porn so this will be my step into a clearer healthier lifestyle PERMANENTLY.  I would just like to thank all of you on here to show me whats right. i want to be able to please my woman when i want not when "he" permits me. im in control of my life and im glad to be taking this HUGE step. I urge anyone that reads this do the same and i know its harder for some so another suggestion is to get HELP, there are ppl that will help you along the way, doctors, counselors, etc. THANK ALL AGAIN AND REMEMBER TO HELP ALL FELLOW MEN AND SPREAD THE WORD. porn has taken over us. well we need to fight back!
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
GOOD NEWS!
reading this forum really helped me. I am a 25y male, m-ing a lot from 13 and probably m/p-ing from 14. i was doing it out of habit. then after a lot of time, it took more to turn me on, bigger fantasies or harder p, and i stopped getting hard without touching. during sex i would struggle to get an erection or keep it, especially for intercourse. for me this impacted on my relationships from the very start, not completely preventing me from performing, but underperforming and causing a lot of anxiety. over the past 7 years i haven't held down a relationship and the main reason for me has been this problem, and all the tensions it causes.

now the good news - when i realised the cause, i immediately gave up p. over 6 weeks i held off m as much as i possibly could (my best record was 9 days!) I also did a lot of exercise and kegels. basically, it all paid off, i just went away with a girl for the weekend and it was the best ever. i don't think i'm out of the woods yet, i still get pretty anxious from all the bad experiences over the years, but i just wanted to tell you all it can work, and it's well worth it!
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
i know exactly what you mean, i don't feel the heat anymore either. i'm keeping off the porn, and really hoping one day the heat comes back. that will be a very happy day in my life.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I USUALLY DON'T LIKE TO USE ALL CAPS BECAUSE IT'S ANNOYING BUT I FOUND A SITE THAT I WOULD LIKE EVERYONE TO KNOW ABOUT. IF YOU'RE REALLY STRUGGLING WITH PORN AND WANT TO QUIT BECAUSE IT IS KILLING YOUR SEXUALITY, VISIT THE SITE BELOW.

xxxchurch.com

IT'S A SITE THAT OFFERS SUPPORT ON FIGHTING YOUR ADDICTION AND HAS A SYSTEM WHERE YOU CAN SET UP AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER. IT CAN BE SOMEONE YOU KNOW AND TRUST OR A COMPLETE STRANGER AND IT WILL EMAIL THEM WHEN YOU VISIT SITES WITH X-RATED MATERIAL. IT USES THE POWER OF COMMUNITY TO ENCOURAGE AND LIFT EACH OTHER UP WHEN WE STUMBLE. IT IS A CHRISTIAN SITE BUT WHATEVER YOUR BELIEFS YOU WILL BE ACCEPTED AND ENCOURAGED AND ONE DAY, WITH SOME WORK, PORN FREE.

I may post this in some of the other forums so sorry if you see this message more than once.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I have another relapse to report. :(  It was on the 9th day of no MP. I was gonna see the girl I like the next day and I thought she gave signs that I needed to make a move (touch, kiss, etc.) on the last date, so I was under a lot of pressure, didn't sleep well at all the night before. Cuz I might screw it up if she doesn't like me touching her, or if she really does and I chicken out, I might lose her too...

So when I couldn't sleep again that night, I was afraid that being too tired the next day would ruin my date, and then I was like, MP would help me sleep. This would be for a girl really important to me..I don't have any sleep medicines. Then without much struggle, I watched my old P and knocked two off. Slept well afterwards.

I had had zero sex drive before this relapse. My penis was sort of numb and the muscle memory of a hardon felt very distant. I didn't think of P at all for many days, but I did think of P the day I relapsed...I saw the phrase "big perky breasted girl" on some forum (maybe this one) when someone was talking about fantasizing in P, and it got me thinking about a P chick with that feature immediately, and a couple times after that. I know this was partly why I relapsed too.

So..I already stopped reading about MP forums or articles once I realized the harm and how to battle it, I wasn't really overthinking about it. But it's funny still...

I'm trying to MP free again, but I don't know how long I can last.

1) Things are clear with that girl now, she likes me but just wants to take things slow, so the pressure has been off.
2) I probably "like" P more than most ppl on here..there were some normal looking women in the P i saw recently (pretty, not fake boobs etc.), it was more alluring...I knwo it's still bad for me in the long run, but it's hard for me to hate those girls.
3) Deep down, I probably don't believe I can pull off no MP forever (6 weeks would fee like forever).
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Hi,

First of all, I'm glad to read all of your stories. THat's why i want to share mine as well. i'm 26 male. I've been masturbating since my 14 or smth. I'm a really horny guy and i've been masturbating alot till today. Never had any problems. Always hard. Always could wank long (hours!) and again and again. I remember that i couldn't understand some of th eporno actors going limp or having only a semi hard ****, cuz i was always so hard. I had loads of spontaneous erections which even bothered me, I even wished i would be a little bit less "sensitive"; i had hardons from sitting in a bumpy carride.... when the dog was sitting on my lap or licking my hand, lol.

I watched internet porn (nothing "special", just main stream porn). I was always rock hard. But now since a few months, i noticed a change. I'm a virgin and i had something like "i need to get this done, im not going to stay a virgin forever". So i started searching escort sites and hookers forums. I read alot and checked adds from prostitutes almost daily, altho i knew i was never gonna contact any of them, because that's just not me. I mailed to some. Jacked of the their pictures.

So in order to have some contact with woman, i started paying for webcamshows, which i've alwasy found ridiculous. But it got me off. When i received a phone bill of 1.300 EUR, i was like "wtf ru doing man, that's so sad lol"). My erections were still fine.

But then i was slowly looking for more extreme porn (BDSM & shemales in particular) webcamshows with shemales & mistresses ... altho i'm not into that at all. I also started calling to sex lines a few times (about 10 times) after seeing some commercial for it on TV.... again it got me off extremely well. Then something happend i've never endured... my erections became softer... not as rock hard anymore and even whilst watching porno. I could still *** and had a hard on... but then i stood up... and while i thought i had a hard on... i actually had no "erection" in the sence that my penis didn't point up like it used to... it kind of struck me... and ATLAST i began thinking rationally about the past months. and it all fell together and became clear. i didn't have any spontaneous erections the last months. I only get hard while masturbating to porn; i did the test and tried to mastrubate without any visual stimulation... i could *** but my **** was not "rock hard" as it should be or as it was. That was the moment I realized i had a problem. So i quit masturbatin & porn for a week... started again, stopped for few days, started again, etc. So i found out im friggnig addicted. This weekend alone i mastrubated 10 times or so to shemale porn. Wtf man. I don't even like it. I decided it's enough. Started googling and ended up on this site. I've decided not to watch porn anymore, ever. Plus, i'm gonna try not to masturbate for at least 30 days and untill i get morning wood (i cant even remember last time i had it ffs!).

well, i just typed everything that came to mind. hope to find some support in my journey on here, and share thoughts with you guys. I hope i can become who i was before.

Good night.






Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I am no prude, but I believe we are all victims of todays society. Look around, sex is everywhere. We are encouraged to masturbate daily for 'sexual health' TV and movies make light of it, there are no clues as to what damage can be done, it has become normalised.
   I am annoyed that with other addictions we are made more aware of how (for example) consuming excessive alcohol, drugs, or food can affect us, but everyone reading or adding to this forum has had to figure it out themselves. The most publicised  answer to ED in the main is to take hardon pills, which doesn't even begin to address the core of the problem for most guys who are here because of porn induced ED.

Its a tough slog breaking this addiction in a society that is obsessed with sex and all its trimmings...

After a relapse 3 weeks ago, I have stayed P+M free, SOoo tempting to look, but I have noticed that recently the temptation is not as strong. I am truly focused on satisfying my gf like she has never been before and this is the carrot on the stick I need. I get morning wood, but am waiting for spontaneous erections as my goal for recovery.

If you have slipped up, try again, get serious, you owe it to yourself to be the man you want to be.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Am 30years old recently marid.I cant do sex with my wife becoz my penis nerve damase for over materbation .What can i do now
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I think my penis damase .Am recetly get marid. What can i do now
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Ur right
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Hey everyone, i've been reading this forum for a few months now but never tried to quit until now.  I guess i've been scared to or maybe lying to myself about how bad the problem has become, i dont know.  Not having a gf has also made it pretty easy to put off the quitting.  

My story is pretty much the same as everyone's, started M'ing about 20 years ago with mags and vhs movies and then the past decade my life has been consumed with the internet porn.  I managed to have somewhat normal sexual relationships with girls into my late 20s (im 33 now) but things have been getting progressively worse since about 2005.  This was until this weekend where i really hit rock bottom.

There's a girl that i've wanted for about 5 years and i'm talking like REALLY wanted.  She's the sweetest, coolest, most caring girls i've ever met and stunningly beautiful.  I even get butterflies around her and that never happens to me at this age anymore.  So anyway Friday night we run into each other downtown and thanks to a few well timed Tequila shots she agrees to come back to my condo for a night cap.  We ended up getting into some pretty deep talk and we both opened up about liking each other for quite a while.  So long story short things progressed to the bedroom and we start getting into it.  I felt nothing!  I pretty much had my dream girl straddling me naked and i could not even get turned on!  It was pathetic!  Finally with some stimulation she managed to get me hard (still not feeling much) and she starts riding me.  I lasted about 2 minutes before losing interest and going soft and at that point it was game over.  I've never felt like such a piece of sh!t in my life!  I blamed it on the alcohol and she seemed pretty disappointed but was cool about it.  Called her a cab and that was it.

I woke up the next day feeling the most crippling depression that i can ever remember. I would never be selfish enough to seriously consider suicide but i was having some very dark thoughts.  That night was the breaking point for me.  I deleted 300+ gigs of porn from my computer and installed a porn filter.  I'm done with this crap.  I havent talked to "Kelly" since but I hope to god that that bridge isn't burnt.  I dont think it is unless all that talk was just the alcohol but i guess we'll see.  I think i'm going to be honest with her and tell her about the addiction and hope she's willing to wait for a couple months while i reboot.  We'll see.  Today is day 2.

Anyway thanks for listening, I feel better just getting this off my chest and although the withdrawal process sounds like hellish torture I'm really looking forward to turning my life around and getting back to being a normal guy.  How the hell did i let this get so out of hand!


Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Welcome aboard! Yeh,I can feel your pain, it has to be the most emasculating experience to go through. It sounds like you have the right approach, getting a porn filter will make it so much easier to succeed.

Its a brave step telling this woman about your addiction. I'm all into honesty as I told my partner of 4 years about mine, but I just hope for your sake she isn't put off... it could go either way. Maybe you could just play it cool for now, get to know her and take it slow until you have your sexual confidence back.

Anyway just my opinion.

If you haven't already, check out these sites.

http://yourbrainonporn.com/

http://www.recoveringman.com/sexualperformance.php
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I've been very sexually active with my girlfriend until I stopped working for a while so I end up being at home all day doing nothing so I pick up my phone and watch porn all day.I enjoyed it but the aftermath of it is that I started experiencing early ejaculation and finding hard to get neither aroused nor errected.I stopped for a while now and its getting better again. I will never go back to relationships defying porn **** again.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Hey thanks for the welcome and i think i might take your advice and not say anything to her at this point.  We talked last night and things seem ok so we'll see how things go from here

Thanks also for those links, both very good sites with lots of info and support.

Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
hey everyone, just thought i'd give an update on my current position. In recent weeks i've found myself masturbating to porn on occasion possibly due to some stress, which got me kinda down on myself but recently i seem to have regained some motivation and i'm currently 8 days without any mb or porn. The thing that gets me is that i feel as though i've lost all feeling down there after a few days of abstinence and always test it out to see if its still working which leads to me watching porn and mb. Guess i'm just gonna have to brave it out for a while and be patient before i start seeing very noticeable results. Even 2 weeks of no mb and porn in the past has shown differences in my arousal and confidence with women, it's strange as it almost seems that without any extra effort i talk to girls a lot easier and more frequently when i've quite so i'm looking forward to seeing the results after a more prolonged period. The 1st few days of stopping seem the worst and i often find myself mb'ing without ejaculation but i've now found that to be just as harmful so i'm planning complete abstinence for as long as possible. Hope everyone on here is progressing well with their aims of overcoming the effects of mb and porn, stay strong!
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Ok fellas im 21 years old, obviously I have the issue that everyone else is describing...too much porn is no good. So about 5 months ago I lost a girl that I loved with my heart, for me when it comes to sex I can't just go out get a girl and have sex it needs to be special.

So I went to porn, unfortunately I can admit that I got addicted to it, so it became part of my daily schedule. Just recently I met this girl, my friend introduced us and there was an strong connection the moment our eyes met. After talking and just hanging out for about a month we decided it was time, last night we started with the foreplay and everything but I just couldn't get it up, I love her body there's nothing that would turn me off or anything.

I felt horrible, I was embarrassed like never before. So I went on google and searched for similar and was surprised at how many guys have the same exact issue, I feel much better now that I know its common and all I need to do is just drop the porn...bye bye porn :D...also a lot of people say stress which I was yesterday, family member passed away yesterday, I was tired from a long day of work as well. So just give it time and try again...also I get a "boner" at random times through the day, which I think porn is to blame.

I know this is kinda long but I hope this helps someone realize they're not alone out there, it can happen to everybody. Btw, it got so bad that I have porn on my phone and I have found myself masturbating in the most random places...anyhow, good luck to all and kelp ur head up :P
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
been "clean" (no P / no M) for 4 days. My penis is like dead; there's no life in it. So hard no to surf to porn and jack off... but i(m holding on... been jogging & cycling as much as i can lol. HANG IN THERE WITH ME FELLAS :D
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Hey guys,

I'm a 21 year old virgin who's never had a girlfriend nor kissed a girl. I started mbing to porn when I was 14. Since then, I've never masturbated without it. As you can imagine, over time I progressed to harder porn and finally got stuck on deepthroating/facefuck action. Since 2009, I've only ejaculated to such scenes as they would somehow give me the most pleasure. Whenever I saw a hot girl outside, I got horny; but instead of making a move on the girl, I went home to watch a porn movie. I never thought that this could be of any harm to me and when my Dad once said: "Stop watching porn, you're gonna have erection problems one day", I just laughed. As a matter of fact, I always thought that I'd be able to clearly separate porn and reality, no matter the amount of porn I watch. I now know that this was a fatal misperception.

I realised my first symptoms in the november of 2010. I wanted to watch a movie with my favorite porn actress and it was a very hot scene, so I expected myself to be aroused in no time. But nothing happened... Even though, my brain was aroused, the dude in my pants just didn't want to play his part. Then I watched one of the facefuck scenes and there he was, fine as ever. This scenario repeated itself for some more days. No erection without facefucking. I was shocked and I immediately told myself, this can't go on that way. So, I stopped watching porn for 3 weeks. After this 3 week-abstinence, I tried to test myself, but of course I tried it with porn. No facefucking, but still porn...   After a short time, I was of course back on my old bad habits, i.e. heavily mbing to, well you know by now...

Now the symptoms got worse. Girls on the street didn't make it for me anymore and my libido lowered. So i made another break of 3 weeks. I still felt no libido whatsoever; so I drew the wrong conclusion that abstinence is not the right way to proceed. Seeing a sexologist was out of the question for me at that moment, I now do think differently about that. Since my abstinence didn't help, I got angry about the situation and started watching porn again.

On the 6th of April, after another porn movie, I started searching around the internet because I wasn't happy about the whole situation, frustrated almost depressed actually. That's when I found this forum, which made me feel better because it a) cleared my view about the whole thing and b) showed me that I was far from being the only one concerned. Here I learned that porn was definitely the cause for my problems and that there was a solution to it. Other things that really touched me were some of the reports that were made by others here on this forum. The fact that whole relationships could suffer because of this and women could feel humiliated by it made my commitment to stop a lot stronger. I didn't want that any woman who'd maybe walk into my life one day would suffer because of my stupidity and my inability to get a boner without porn. We should be able to cherish women for who they are, not for who they are brought to us by the porn industry.

That's why I started my longest abstinence period on this very evening. I got additional information from the recoveringman and yourbrainonporn, two sites already presented by other users on here. Yesterday I completed my eight-week journey, if you wanna call it that way.

I'm gonna tell you now what happened to me during this eight weeks and what progress I've made.

The first 2 weeks were very easy as my libido was low. In the third week, I had to face the biggest problems until now. Porn pictures kept jumping into my brain and I really had to force me not to watch a movie. But i was successful and kept myself off porn. Afterwards, staying abstinent was really easy. My libido went flat line and I had no sexual feelings whatsoever. Whenever I saw a beautiful girl, I noticed that she was gorgoeus but I felt no sexual attraction to her in any way.
Since part of the work is also to stay away from fantasies, I avoided every opportunity where I could be exposed to something sexual.
Whenever a porn picture would fly into my brain, I had no problem to just shut it off, I considered that as a major progress.
Another symptom that some of you guys might notice during your recovery is the sexuality insecurity. I too got doubts about my sexuality during these 8 weeks and I got very frightened when I noticed that I became more and more aware of the guys around me. It happened often that I saw a guy and said: yeah, he is good looking. But I never pictured myself going further, or stuff like that, don't worry.
Well I did worry at the beginning, but the recoveringman explained me that this is a normal feeling a lot of guys experience during their recovery.
Since 2 weeks, I think i can sense some improvement, not in a physical way though, unfortunately. I started picturing fantasies in my head that didn't involve the usual hardcore actions but more soft actions such as french kissing for example. While I was doing that, I noticed that I found this kinda hot even though my penis didn't erect. I'm extremely happy about that because it gives me hope that with a little more patience and discipline I can achieve my ultimate goal of being able to get spontaneous erections and feeling sexually attracted to normal girls on the street.

Yeah, this still isn't the case after 8 weeks, but that's no reason to get hopeless guys, in case you experience the same thing. In fact, recoveringman.com clearly states that it can take up until 14 weeks for some guys to gain their libido back. So, I got 6 more weeks of no M&P ahead of me.

The only thing that worries me, is that, even if softer action is hot to me now, it has now become a lot more difficult to shut off the porn pictures in my head. I think that's the counterpart of the other progress I've made. If sexual sensibility goes up in general (thinking that making out is hot), sensibility to porn goes up as well, especially for an addicted like myself.

And finally, to all you guys who constantly ask about successful recovery stories, here's the one that keeps me on track:

http://yourbrainonporn.com/80-days

I hope, I didn't annoy you with my long post, but I thought I'd just share my experience, since a lot of you guys still have this long journey ahead of them.

Good luck to all of you and have a nice day!

P.S. The fact, that I enjoy this whole facefucking action bothers me the most. In real life, I'd never do this to a girl because I just wouldn't enjoy seeing a girl being degraded in that way. That's why I feel terribly ashamed that I like this so much when watching porn... I feel like some kind of a sick freak to like stuff like that.

P.P.S. Please excuse the eventual mistakes I made, but english is not my native language.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
goddamnit, i didn't P/M for 4 days and just 15min ago i went wild and surfed to porn; was too horny; i had 2 amazing orgasms with loads of semen. damn felt good, but i didn't meet my goal lol, tahat was 30days of no P/M; fs, can't even last 4 days. im going to install a pornfilter... although im also thinking: IS IT HEALTHY to stop masturbating/having sex for such along periode of time like 30-80 days????
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Installing a porn filter will be the best way to success. And not masturbating has no negative affects on your sexual health (according to reputable research)

The hardest thing is not giving into the temptation to seek out porn, even if you don't M to it, it is still feeding your brain with too many images that our primal brain was never accustomed to and is still keeping that connection strong when it needs to be broken.

For me a lot of exercise has been the best distraction and also makes you feel so much better physically and mentally ( I'm pretty sure women prefer a fit dude over a flabby one). Also re connecting with old hobbies has also been a great way to distract from the old "I was bored so I looked at some Porn" excuse. As time goes by the temptation to look has decreased a lot.

Try again and get serious! :)
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Thanks for sharing your story. i can really relate to it. Let us know how things progress.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Like noobieberry, i had also started a "fast" so to speak where i would abstain from porn and masturbation because i thought it would probably have some impact on my sex life. Now I really needed all the help i could get because i thought for sure i had E.D. after not being able to get a hard on without pharmaceutical help. I'd been popping pills to help my problem like skittles to the point where I was embarrassed to tell my girlfriend. Now all good things come to an end and with one really special weekend planned (she dressed up like a japanese schoolgirl!!) I couldn't get any pills, needless to say I was as flacid as used chewing gum. Motified I felt like i was robbing her (she reassured me it was all in my head). I digress....back to the topic at hand. We were both busy with work and family for about 3 weeks and didn't have sex (we never went 3 days without) For the last of those 3 days I didnt watch P or M. Without any help we had sex about 10 times a week later, I had never been so aroused !! Now I have faltered a bit and dropped back into my old ways, watching P and M. Needless to say I am 100% sure there is a correlation between this and libido as I am now not as hard as I was that week. I hace just found this thread and as I read testimonies of you all I just deleted all the porn I have. Good luck to you all.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I have been porn free and since May 2nd and I have masturbated 3 times since then, 2 times with my partner and one time by myself which last night.  I was thinking about my partner the whole time I was mb last night.  However, yesterday I saw some pornography pictures on a website for just a second.  I got a bit turned on but once I realized I was getting turned on I closed the browser.  Do yall think this caused me to mess up?  In addition, I noticed when I was mb, I was scientifically harder than I was the last time I mb which was May 2nd.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
*please ignore my last post*

Here it is corrected...

I have been porn free since May 2nd and I have only masturbated 3 times since then, 2 times with my partner and one time by myself which last night.  I was thinking about my partner the whole time I was mb last night.  However, yesterday I saw some pornography pictures on a website for just a second.  I got a bit turned on but once I realized I was getting turned on I closed the browser.  Do yall think this caused me to mess up?  In addition, I noticed when I was mb, I was significantly harder than I was the last time I mb myself, which was May 2nd.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
lol I like the first one better when you were scientifically harder

I'm pretty sure you'll be ok, especially if you didn't jerk off to the porn. I think if you're noticing an improvement boner-wise then things are on the up and up.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
argh, i masturbated like 10 times in 3 days. goddamnit it's hard lol. can someone share a pornfilter plz? otherwise i'm doomed :) tx alot.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
after reading these posts, i am so relieved to feel like i'm not the only one... i am married nearly two years and i cant get an erection any longer for my wife.. the M&P had totally de-senstized me! i gotta get help and am glad this group is on here... this will be day 1 of no more M&P! i will need support and hoping this community can provide some.. also, should i look into an ED drug?
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
10 times in 3 days! jeepers....

You need help. This is a free porn filter from 'your brain on porn' site.

http://download.cnet.com/K9-Web-Protection-32-bit/3000-27064_4-10487710.html
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I had a wet dream last night, but it wasn't about having sex it was about watching porn =||||
Please tell this doesn't count, I've been going two weeks and one day without P and M, surely i don't have to start over coz of this?
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
What pisses me off is sex is EVERYWHERE. I didnt notice it before as much because maybe I was desensitized to it and because it wasnt really on my big priorities list (with me being only in my early 20's), but now that I'm aware that I have a problem and cant please a woman (or rather I'm afraid of trying it and not being able to perform) I cant go one second without thinking of sex or seeing it somewhere and being reminded of my problem.

All my guy friends talk about banging the chick they're with so I've had to limit my time around them because I dont dare tell them what I'm going through in fear of being teased and laughed at.

Television shows go on about sex at every turn (jokes in sitcoms, commercials about erectile dysfunction, etc.). I cant sit 5 minutes without being reminded of it. I phsycially had to get up and leave the room when my sister was watching some show, you know the type with the hot girls who are livign great lives as super models/actresses/etc. and they're just worried about going out with the next hot guy and when they're going to sleep with said guy. She wondered why I was being a jerk and leaving her watching tv alone.

Not only that but I cant stand listening to my sister about being in love with her boyfriend who's she's been with for 2-3 years, who shes waiting on to propose to her. Anyway she and all women for that matter, have it easy. In sex all they have to do is lay there and pick the guy they want to marry. Hell, if they are having problems getting aroused all they have to do is put a little lube on things down there. Yet they judge guys.

I'm in a no win situation. I waited till 24 to lose my virginity, thinking that up till then it was the right moral choice, or maybe it was a combination of not being that into relationships and being tied down with the hassle until I hit college. Anyway I hit 24, met a great girl I loved with all my heart, she wanted an experienced guy and I thought I could muster enough experience to at least make her want to go the distance with me, anyway I spring the fact I'm a virgin and she leaves me because I'm not aggressive enough, I dont take control of the situation, and I honestly dont feel comfortable like that because I've NEVER done anything with a girl.

So I'm 24, decided I'd lose my virginity, screwed up my first time, and now I realize that I'm not in the shape I need to be to attract a girl, to feel confident enough to be aggressive in bed, and not int he shape I want to be not to be self conscous when I do go to lose my virginity again. I feel like the longer I wait the worse off I get. Not to mention I'm reenrolled at 25 now in college again, to get a new degree, living with my parents in this bad economy and working a low paying part time job. How can ANY guy be good looking to a girl to have sex with them in this situation?

I just want one girl to fall in love with, her love me as much as I love her, and be as sexually attracted to each other as two people can be. ONE GIRL. I dont want to sleep around, I dont want to cheat on a girl, I just want ONE GIRL. I want my **** to work, I want to feel like a man.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I hear your frustration. Its easy for me to sit here and type my response to what you have said, but there is a great saying that I remind myself of - "you attract what you project". We are all on a molecular level bundles of energy, so if you put out good vibes and visualize your life how you want it to be, I believe it will happen. Never underestimate the power of positive thought..

You will get the girlfriend you want, it is obvious that you want to be in a loving relationship. Concentrate on recovery, only associate with people who don't drag you down, if your concerned about your appearance, exercise. You want to start feeling good about yourself and that will lead to more confidence, which people pick up on especially women! Being aggressive in bed or looking buff is not what most women want, they want confidence.

Go easy on yourself ;)

Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Yeah thanks for the reply. I'm just going to take it day by day. I mean I have good things to offer women, I've got the sensitive, understanding, interested in what you have to say, thing going on and girls love that. I have always had that said about me in all my relationships, that I make them feel wanted and I make them feel important and things like that. I just need to work on the feeling more confident thing, and I think if I project confidence and look good then I think if the girl I'm with likes me for me and wants to be with me, she wont care if I'm a virgin or not.

So I figure by getting in shape, getting toned, etc. and feeling good about the way I look will go a LONG way in upping my confidence and I can project that confidence out to others.

So I've started eating right, lifting weights, running in the mornings and after work, etc. to get the weight off and to build that muscle I want.

In the mean time I'm also saving for my own place while also going back to finish up work on a new associates degree. I'll be done in two semesters, a year. So in the mean time I'll be losing the weight, upgrading my wardrobe, saving money, no more porn and severely limiting masturbation.

I guess I'll be pulling a Rocky Balboa leading up to this time next year. Yeah that sounds good, yeah this time next year I fight Apollo Creed for the title. Ha ha ha! :-P
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I had really good m with my gf today,i mean we m for ages and then had intercourse,i lasted about 10 seconds lol, which as bad as it sounds I was happy with because I was really turned on.this is my progress from zero porn for about 3 month, before this I was absolutely flaccid with my gf.i still have a while to go,i found p on my hdd and really struggled to delete it, but I did.good luck everyone.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Thought I was alone with this problem!!! My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months now, after being apart for 8 years after a 2 year relationship together, Anyway, when we were together the 1st 2 years we had no sex life do the fact that he was always drunk and although I didn't know it then, he was heavily into M&P.  Could never get it up and when he did it never lasted more than a minute.  Now we get back together 8 months ago, and although the drinking hadn't changed (got worse) and the m & p was much worse ( as I have just found out), we still managed to have a great sex life ( the man could cut diamonds).  

So we decided to move in together in February.  It was rough, he was trying to cut down on the drinking and try to adjust to living with someone, (he never lived with a woman before nor had any sucessful relationships) mind you he is 37yrs old. The 1st week of living together I caught him Masturbating at his computer, I couldnt believe my eyes, Im not stupid, I know every one does it, but to catch some one is a little different.we got into a huge argument, he swore it would end but of course it didn't.  

Anyway , I cant sleep at night, I know when he's not in the bed, i wake  up in minutes of him leaving the bed just to listen to what he might be doing in the other room.  During sex he can hardly hold an erection, tells me sex isn't as important to him as it is to me.  I know he keeps it up for his porn.  he even falls asleep while having sex with me, He keeps telling me it's not me and sex and m & p are to different things one has nothing to do with the other.  I can feel it though, I feel how detached he is during sex and the lack of interest.  I even asked what I could do to make it better, he keeps telling me nothing, he says he's been m & p for more years than with women and it's what he's "used to" and what he "enjoys" and he won't stop.  He recently advised me that when I talk dirty to him in bed or moan it does nothing for him.  I dont get it.  


Any advise would be great..

Thanks
gee
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
This may sound a bit harsh, but I cant understand why he doesn't even want to change, is he worth persevering with?

This Guy obviously has some issues. Addiction to porn and alcohol as well as not seeing it as a problem is a huge battle for you. Obviously you have strong feelings for him and you would like him to change, but he needs to respect you enough to listen to your concerns and try to change for his sake and yours.

Look, obviously I don't know about his good side and why you are attracted to him, but I just don't like what you have to say about him. You deserve someone who respects your feelings instead of making excuses as to why he thinks its ok to keep doing this.

So I guess you could lay it on the line. He needs to hear your concerns and take it seriously. You should definitely NOT put up with this. Life is too short and there are heaps of caring guys out there...
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
alright i've been clean for a week now. feeling great. what works for me = working out alot. i go jogging & cycling every day. my goal is no P/M for atleast 1 month and i WILL achieve that goal even if i have to punch myself in the face. so guys, to help you take ur thoughts off of P/M -> work out! that way you'll be OK after some months, you'll also be in shape! use this opportunity to rearrange your life completely! find out what's important in life for you and get at it! make it work!
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Geegee, I WAS your boyfriend a few years ago (substitute the drinking for weed).  I did the exact same thing to a wonderful girl (who i eventually lost) and it hardly even phased me.  Sex had lost all importance to me and because of the ED that was getting worse I shied away from it all the time.  This is exactly what happens to the brain of a porn addict.  Things that should matter to a normal guy like sex and satisfying your gf stop and the P&M just takes over.  Even though you know it isn't right and you feel shame about it, eventually its like your brain just settles for the fact that this is who you are...an addict.  In my twisted thinking i even wanted my gf to settle for the fact that we wouldn't have much sex!  how pathetic is that.  She deserved SO much more and so do you.

The only way things will change for you and your bf is if he really wants to quit and follows through 100%. In my case all those years ago, I didn't even give more than a 2 or 3 day effort to quit (although i hadn't found this forum then and i had no idea the problem was this wide spread or even that it was the cause of my ED) I had basically given up all hope of a normal sex life.  My girl left me and I barely shed a tear.  It took me 4 more years after that relationship to finally hit the bottom of the barrel before it clicked in my head that i had to give up this garbage right now.  

As of 2 hours ago I'm on day 15 without porn or orgasm.  I feel better than i can remember feeling in the last decade!  Even though i'm in the "dead phase" now and don't even have a sex drive, i've learned so much from the guys here and yourbrainonporn.com that I wake up every day excited for the future.  It really hasn't been that rough so far either. The key is to have your head in the right place and really have the desire to quit.

Anyway sorry for the ramble but I agree with manboy, you should give him an ultimatum and then its up to him.  If he truly loves you and doesn't want to lose you then he'll quit...if not find someone that will give you what you need and deserve.  Maybe direct him here to read this thread and also the YBOP site.  

Good luck!
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I have some great news for you all.  Thanks to an experience shared by CalKCH I decided to try Tradional Chinese Medicine (TCM) .  The results have been nothing short of AMAZING!!!  After waking up the morning following my FIRST acupuncture session I noticed I had morning wood (which I had not had for a long time prior).  This lasted a few days.  Then went away.  I returned to the doctor after a few visits and realized that the fact that I was not taking the herbs that he had given me I was not getting the best results possible.  After doing this I have been better for about 6 days now.  It is definitely worth a try.  I wouldn't call it a CURE because everyone's body is different & I can ONLY say that I have had a GREAT improvement.  

I feel if acupuncture could help a man who had mb induced ed after MBing for 15 years it could do something for us.  I think yo should ALL at least read this & make your OWN decision.  

http://www.medicalacupuncture.org/aama_marf/journal/vol15_3/case3.html

If you have any questions on MY experience I would be happy to answer.  I am praying that we ALL have a complete recovery because I KNOW how this can make you feel!!
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I think it goes without saying but in order for this to have any effect you have to 1st up the porn & mb (& drugs if that's an issue as well)!  I've been without both for a while now!
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Well, i would like to comment here since this is such a big problem...

sorry for the looong post but i need to get this out of my chest...

My story: since like i was 12-13, i was a pretty horny guy, i used to M at magazines (they didnt even had to show girls naked, just tiny bikinis) then i discovered my dads porn vhs tapes, and M almost everyday... I keept going this way, so, when i finally was going to do it the first time at age 16... BAM! A softie, i coudn't penetrate... I thought at the time, it was just nerves since i was so horny all the time.

next i remember meeting this girl, pretty atractive, with her i coudnt even touch her w/o an erection... It was awesome and kind of embarasing, but i didnt care at all, we always joked about it. With her, the sex was ok, but since it was my first time i didnt last that much (like only 3min) and it was that way the couple more times we had sex... It was short but sooo sweet!

Then the problem really started for me. Since i wanted to last a little more, i decided to "practice" and "training" myself. And my M/P went up. I still was watching regular hardcore sex (1-1). I had the occasional ******* here and there and a little sex, but the irony was, i couldnt finish anymore. I didnt think about this much if at all, since almost always there were alcohol involved.
However i met this awesome hot chick, i really, really liked her, in fact i felt soo lucky she liked me too. She gave me some pretty good b js and h js. But as soon i was putting the condom, BAM! ED... We all know how bad this make us feel, i felt soooo bad, but she was great about it, we tried again but with the same results... I was so depresed, omg... Its the Fkng worst. To make matters worse, she was my older sister's friend, and she ended up finding out about the whole deal. What an embarrasement!

We went our separate ways, but the damage had been done already, so i went deeper into porn, i started watching threeways, since 1-1 didnt did it as well for me almost every day (sometimes several times a day). I had some one time encounters, But because of my previous problem, i tried to avoid actual sex. Sometimes i performed well and went all the way, others i felt ed was kicking in and always made excuses. Sometimes there was alcohol involved, sometimes there wasnt. I dont really know if the times when i performed fine i was days w/o M/P. It was soo irregular, and i didnt made any connection at all. I just though there was something wrong with me.
I then met this other couple girls. By this time i was into more extreme porn, GB, bukake, etc. And of course ED problems with one and a couple times ED problems with the other. both told all my friends about it, Almost EVERYBODY i know heard about it. Most of them to this day believe im gay.
but the worst part is to come, sometime ago, i was drunk and hooked up with an family friend, i of course tried to have sex with her, since she is somewhat attractive, but again, ED! (though, the next day i manage to bang her, but with a half erection). This time, i dont know how, but my family found out about it. Everybody, even my family think i'm gay. I myself am starting to question my sexuality (though i know inside im not, and i have never watched gay porn or shemales or somthething). I've always been miserable because of this problem, more and more i have isolated myself, i drink a lot, and more and more M/P. But without a doubt this have been the WORST months of my life, The ED problem has destroyed my life, i quit the job with my father, since they make fun of me and call me gay behind my back. I'm in a ****** low payed job now that i cant stand. Everybody turned on me, nobody reply a sms or call. I have had suicidal toughts miself, but of course they are just that, never seriously thought of doing it.
I feel im horny most of the time, i keep getting erections when kissing, or close dancing and the like, but sometimes just nothing... The main problem is the point of penetration, as soon as i'm going for the kill i go soft, and theres nothing me or any woman in the world can do about it when it hapens. Its also the case that i have gone soft in the middle of... I also have to try real hard to have an orgasm with a girl (stupid me thought this girls had huge vaginas, lol) when watching porn as soon as i change scene or just distract for a second, softie.

Starting 4 days ago im going clean, there's too much at stake here guys, im a little unsure this will work, i may be permanently damaged. But i will try nevertheless... I have no choice, i cant continue living in a world where i want to bang almost every good looking woman i meet, but cant do it. ED drugs have helped me a couple of times, but thats living a lie... And what about kids, a wife. I dont care anymore about what everyone says about me, i just want to have a normal life. Just hope its not too late for me...
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
It's gotta be worth a try. If it works then we'll all be so much happier. Again,i relate to most stuff in your post and have deepest sympathy. I haven't watched p for a couple of month (not really been counting), but as I have a gf we occasionally mutually m together, with organ and occasional intercourse (not the best), does anyone think I should come clean about the addiction and tell her I want complete abstinance? I dont really want her to suffer because of my problem.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Organ = orgasm, lol.bloody predicted text.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I don't know man... I read all this thread and it seems the best results come from no P (of course) but no O either. I may tell you to go clean with her but i know how hard this can be.

However, considering the stakes at play here... if you love her, i would do it (since the other option is breaking up with her, and that i would not do) it may be better for the both of you for the long term...

I have a couple of good looking girls interested in me right now, and i will do nothing about it. i don't care if i have to go 2-3 or even 5-6 months w/o sex. As long as i can return to normal.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Really humbled by the common humanity being shared on this thread. I think I should let you know my story, as I need some advice.

I'm 16, about to become 17, and ive had a porn addiction since 13. I've always hated porn, I was brought up religious you see, although that's not the main reason I don't agree with porn. But I couldn't stop. At first it was once a week, then twice a week, until last month when I was struggling to reach 2 days. The types of porn also changed from vaguely sexy pictures and music videos to stripteases and full naked lapdances. I kind of managed to stay away from the really hardcore stuff. I just found it disgusting.

I quit P and M 3 weeks ago. I was finding it harder to stay erect watching porn, and I was not enjoying it as much as I had been used to. I don't have a girlfriend, and it was the thought of having one and not being able to satisfy her that made me finally stop. I installed some accountability software for me and a close friend, and thats helping too. If theres anyone struggling, GET ACCOUNTABILITY SOFTWARE. i use X3watch, its free.

Let me describe my progress so far. Its been pretty easy. Apart from the occasional (and believe me, extremely welcome) wet dream, I've stayed true to my abstinence. Yet whereas other peoples stories I have read have mentioned that they got morning wood and spontaeneous erections, I have not. I've consistently had next to no ability to get aroused. I notice pretty women all the time: My brain is frantic for it. Some of them really are gorgeous, and I'm still attracted to them. But I can't get an erection. Its not just real women I'm struggling to be aroused by, the thought of watching pornography is about as appealing as eating sausages made out of my colon. I suppose that's a good thing, but I'm worried. I thought I should have seen some improvement by now. Don't worry, I'm not going back to P&M, that would be a foolish thing to do, but I am very worried.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Sorry for the long post in advance, but i believe i have something that might help.The most effective way to beating this thing i have found is this. You have to stop fantasizing for a while, when i say stop fantasizing, i mean stop looking at everything related to sex. Stop looking at women if you have to. Why may you ask? i'll explain.

Being addicted to porn your brain is sort of being addicted to drugs, or alcohol or smoking, something to that extent. As some of you may be aware, when your addicted to something your brain's dopamine goes all out of control, this is what causes the problems in the first place.

So what happens, we decide to quit the porn and MB and thats a great start. However what i have found is when i continue to look at women, when i continue to look at them and fantasize it slows up the process tremendously. If you read literature you'll find that small amounts of dopamine are released just anticipating a stimulus (ie, wanting a piece of chocolate cake, or in this case porn or sex). That in turn can slow up progress. Put it this way, if you quit smoking or alcohol would you spend all day staring at their containers? Probably not because it creates temptation, it creates that same rush in our brain. You see once you quit p and mb if your still looking at regular women and imagining them in porn scenes, thats not really quitting in my opinion.


So what am i getting at. About a year ago i read in a smilar post on medhelp titles "too much porn = total loss of libido". (still on here with 28 replies). A couple users had our problem and their strategy was to abstain completely for a couple weeks, abstain from fantasy, looking at any pictures of women, just complete abstinence and for them it worked in as little as 2-3 weeks.

I then tried this myself and much to my happiness it worked. However i did lapse back into porn cause i thought i was "cured" and it was ok for me to watch again. Now i'm going back to this strategy. What i did?

For at least 14-21 days i looked at nothing, no fantasy, no pictures of women, i tried not to even look at real women. I did this because i wanted to give my mind a chance to heal without any outside stimulus. Is it difficult? absolutely! very difficult to completely abstain for a couple weeks, but it was worth it. I felt it helped me heal, i felt it allowed the porn thoughts to dissapear from my head.

Just quitting the p and mb for me wasn't just 100 percent quitting. It was the fantasies that kept it alive. How do you know when everything is back to normal? Both times i did this method it felt like my libido was gone for a while, then all of a sudden it reset itself. Out of nowhere. Felt great.

Will this work for everyone else. I really don't know. I'm just suggesting something i read in another thread and tried myself. I'll also add during my times i also was taking a multivitamin for overall health.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Well guys... its been 5 days w/o P for me... so far it it hasn't been that hard for me to stop since for the first time i have a clear goal... I remember trying to stop a while ago, but since i felt i lost my libido, i returned to P (in fact, i remember thinking porn actually helped me with the ED since i was hornyer the weeks when i watched the most lol), though deep inside me i always knew P was hurting me...

Its true, i seem to be dead down there... though, i still want to shagg every good looking woman i see in the street... i even get turn on (w/o erection)... But i have succesfully tried not to fantasize about them having sex... still, there's a long way to go, but i'm positive.

I dont have to write here how amazing this thread is, and how much it means to me... you guys are awesome. just as soon as i read all you're stories, i related soo much. Sometimes it felt like i wrote many of the posts, nothing short of amazing. Some of us have gone through so similar things... i thought i was one in a million... and just knowing there may be a way out of this, has made me happier, more confident and in such a better mood.

I saw that x3watch thing and i'm kind of interested since the worst days are ahead of me, but i don't feel comfortable asking a friend to be my accountability partner... if someone is willing to help me out, please send me a PM, i would be grateful...
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I suffer from a very similar lroblem but instead of not getting an erection i just dont come when i have sex? Can anyone help me?
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I suffer from a very similar lroblem but instead of not getting an erection i just dont come when i have sex? Can anyone help me?
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
interesting read i found if anyones interested. its nothing we don't know... but if u wanna read someones opinion on the matter.


page 33 onwards...


http://www.scribd.com/doc/44437016/Teenagers-Say-the-Darndest-Things
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Different problem but same solution, just try going abstinent for 3/4 months, when you have sex you'll have no problem. also Make sure it's not down to nerves and don't forget to stay in the moment :)
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Guys... I gotta tell you all, its been a week and a half and its harder than i thought... I'm soo horny! Its funny, i dont miss porn that much, but i'm soo horny... Damit! I really dont feel like the others with the lost sex drive for a cuple weeks before getting back to normal... Girls are making me loose my mind. I think i have never been so horny in my life,  so i believe the p/m ban has really helped me.

Of course, all this means nothing until i try to have sex... I almost did it, but "fortunatly" the girl back out... It wasn't my choise, but in the end i believe it was for the better.

Sorry that i keep posting, but this is the only place where i can talk about this, and this is the #1 priority of my life for the moment, because of the stakes.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I've just found this site and feel so much better already. Feel bad feeling better knowing I'm not alone as it means there are others going through what I'm going through but I'm sure you'll understand what I mean.

I've been out of a relationship for a year until recently during which time I've m to p a few times a week. It's something I've done consistently for 10 years but more so over the last year. Thought I had it under control and would go a week or so without it without a problem.

However, now I'm seeing a beautiful woman and all was going well, I was getting a good erection as she played with me and foreplay was good. However the minute we moved to have sex it went completely. I've tried Viagra and even had a double dose (2 x 50mg) one night and nothing at all. Started thinking it was psychological (and an element still could be) but decided to change tack and looked at my diet and any chance of low testosterone so have started doing more super set type anaerobic exercises, I'm taking Ginseng, Gingko Leaf, L-Anginine, the list goes on. I'm feeling better on it but it just seem enough for me to believe deep down that it resolve the issue.

However this site and the stories I have read (and I have read a LOT) have made me realise I had an addiction and need to start afresh from today for 60 days and then for the rest of my life. A week ago I had made the connection with porn and my ED however not with the M. I was waking every morning and getting a good erection and M with only thoughts of my girlfriend and no P thoughs at all and was going fine. However having read the posts and seen the 6 videos from Gary Wilson I realise that M is as much to blame. I'm going to end up looking like Buster Gonads (one for the Brits on here) but I know it will be worth it. Whether my girlfriend will be around in 60 days is another matter but to be honest this is a life changing moment for me and for all of us who have made this decision so to be honest that is the least of my worries.

Good luck to all, your words have helped me tremendously.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Hello everyone,

I realized I had a problem a little while ago. I have read a lot about this, and have started my 2 months already in hopes that it will solve my problem. I have one question though, to anyone who might have the answer. I find myself very horny sometimes, and craving the sight of girls. I do not miss porn that much, but I do miss looking at my favorite girls. I have stayed completely away from any hardcore or softcore porn and completely away from any actual nudity on the internet. HOWEVER, I still look at pictures of my favorite celebrities on the internet every few days. These are not nude pictures, but sometimes can be somewhat provocative. For example, I love seeing pictures of Beyonce and Rihanna from magazines or from their performances, etc... So I guess my question is, does looking at pics of celebs like Beyonce count as cheating, or is that okay to do during my 2 months?

I find it's impossible to stop looking at ALL girls, since just by watching TV and seeing commercials or movies I'm going to see hot girls. So isn't looking at celeb pictures on the internet the same thing?

Perhaps the duration of time spent looking at these pictures is also the issue here?

Well, any help on this matter would be greatly appreciated. I'm very worried about my problem and am trying my best to solve it without having to change my lifestyle too dramatically.

Thanks to everyone who has shared their experiences. You have all been such an enormous comfort and help thus far. Good luck to everyone!
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
today after 6 days with out P&M i got my first morninwood i was surprise couse i though it was gonna take more time for this to happens,,
anyways im olso doing some kegel exercises maybe it has somthing to do with it..
another thing i did yesterday for the first time is puting my penis pointing up to my belly button when i went to sleep,, im not sure if this has somthing to do with it..

well after 6 days im not having problem at all with porn im not feeling that craving for it, yeah some times i think about it specialy when im homealone but i can block my mind very easy and dont think about it, or just start doing somthing else..
as for masturbation im olmost sure that i wont reach the 60 days,, still im gonna see how long i can hold it..

since i start this project i got two wet deams, one was very nice of me having sex with a girl,, the second one was really bad and disturbing, it was about a porn scene with a shemale WTF MEN.. lol.... the good thing is that it has been 3 days now without any porn wet dream, olso my sex libido is still low but i havent got any depression or problem with sleeping or any other kind of problem,

im olso reading the Sex God ed2 book wish is giving me a lot of confidence...
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Hi guys,

I'd say that I was mostly cured my now. Went 30 days without P&M (way back when - see earlier posts) but now M regularly, maybe once a week, but do not watch porn. Porn is the real killer here IMHO. Also, if condoms are killing your erections, make sure you have the right size ones! Mine were too tight and cutting off the blood supply, so I got bigger ones. If it feels tight, it probably is!

I reckon 6 weeks not P&M and then M once a week should sort most men out just fine!

Also use lube on your ****, and on both sides and in the end of the condom - whole new world!
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Hi guys,

I'm back with my first update on my condition since June 1st. Well yesterday made it 12 weeks of no M & P, 84 days to be exact. Since the last time I wrote on this forum, I've noticed some changes. First, two weeks ago, I had my first boner since April 6th. Problem is: it was by picturing facefucking in my head. I still see it as a progress though, because it happened by using imagination and not by visual stimulation i.e. porn. Even if my penis wasn't 100 percent hard, I was very happy at this moment. I kept myself from masturbating because I didn't want to ruin the whole process. After two days of not giving in, my libido went down to 0 again, but I was cool with that. Since then, my sex drive has stayed that low.

Last week, another big thing happened to me; well let's say I consider it a pretty big thing, because it's the first time that this has ever happened to me. I had the first wet dream of my life, at 21 years of age. I'm pretty happy about it, even though it was about a porn scene! The reason is that the dream wasn't about facefucking. Actually, it was a threesome with two girls and it was all about them and their pleasure, which was good. My only concern is, that the night before ,my brother had kicked me in the nuts and I now fear that it might have something to do with that, but I don't know... I'm sorry, if the last sentence sounded a little stupid, but in my situation I need to take everything into consideration. Since this dream, I haven't noticed any change in my condition, just another week of no sex drive whatsoever. I'm now looking for sexologists in my area to help me, because even if I have a strong will and discipline, my hope is decreasing a lot lately.

I wish everybody a lot of courage to get through this.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Former Addict (myself) Recovery Steps Here It goes:

1.Stop looking at porn and masturbating for at least a month, It is a hard process but trust me you will like the results,I used to masturbate 3 times every other day since I was 11 and now im 22,  for me It took a month to get my **** back to normal (some people may need longer time it depends on the brain as well)when you get the temptation think about that time when you were with your girlfriend or just a really hot chick and you couldn't get it up.STOP MASTURBATING TO PORN.
.
2.Don't do drugs, drink alcohol > coffee (caffeine), or smoke cigarettes, some people just cant quit these things specially coffee but just try it for a month I recommend it.Live a complete healthy lifestyle for a month and you will see the results with your **** and sex drive.TRY IT

3.Exercise, some people just hate exercising but you don't have to jog or go to the gym , with just a simple mile walk around your neighborhood will do it, in other words don't be couch potato and keep your blood flowing for better erections, some people will just spend whole days just looking at porn and I know because I was one of them. GET A HOBBY

4.Limit your computer use and internet access, (this one helped me a lot), since we look at porn mostly at our computers try not to use your computer a lot , or If you have a laptop just put it and lock it away unless you are going to do a research, homework, or check your email do it so on a public place such as library , living room or a room full of crowded people. AVOID BEING ALONE WITH YOUR COMPUTER


Its a hard process but It will do for the better, It takes a very strong will to treat this addiction alone without any help but If I did it, I think you can too, I think this one is worst than drugs because it's far more embarrassing but stop worrying just follow my steps and Thank Me Later.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Does looking at non-nude celebrity pictures count as looking at porn???? Should that be stopped during my 2 month period?

Anyone's opinion is a help. THANKS!
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
ok guys after having great result in a very short time, i want to give you some advice to speed up the process, now remember im not a doctor or psychology im just a normal guy like you that had the same problem and for some reson just got really great and fast results,, i havent been with a girl yet so i cant tell you how was my performance in bed,, and i still need 1 or even 2 more weeks to fully recover and perform good in bed,, but what i can tell you is that i have 100% confidence in my self, somthing that i didnt have a week ago and im sure that i wont fail next time im with a girl.. even if i fail its ok becouse it happens i will get it done next time but never put pressure in my self thats the worst thing to do.... so thats one of the most important thing you need to have,, SELF ESTEEM,, 100% CONFIDENCE and NEVER PUT PRESSURE IN YOUR SELF...

now the first thing you want to do first, ofcourse NO PORN NO JERKING OFF,, what you need to do are some mental exercise everyday which are this, 10 to 15 min of meditation this will help you to control your mind by not thinking about nothing this is very important when you are with a girl in bed you dont want negative or positive though you dont want any kind of though at all, just relax and focus on what you are doing, the other one is to control your breathing this will help you to relax, so breath in for 5 seconds, hold for 3 sec and breath out for 5 sec then repeat and you continue doing this for 5 min very good for controling your breathing and dont get anxiety in a bed with a girl,, another thing you can do is kegel which is very good to.. i normaly do all this before i go to sleep, but it depends on you...

the last exercise, well this one is a little bit more complex and you should only do it at your own risk lol,, im saying this becouse you will need to masturbate,, olso becouse i just start doing it yesterday so is still a experiment for me, this is call "the male multiple orgasm", what this does is that you can actually have more than 1 orgasm with out ejaculate, so yeah this mean that you can have 1st orgasm keep having sex 2nd orgasm keep goin and the 3rd one you EJACULATE and have a MAJOR ORGASM,,
now to do this you have to train your penis by masturbating and just before you are about to have an orgasm you stop, this is the point of no return if you stop to early you are not doing it rigth if you pass the point of no return then is game over, for the first day you want to stop for 10 sec then keep going a and ejaculate, for the second day you stop for 20 sec for 3rd day try 25 sec,, but becarefull if you wait to long your penis will get angre and wont want to play anymore, so you want to go little by little each time longer,, when you get good at it you can try to stop it more than one time in the same masturbation...

now you only want to do this when you see your morningwood are back or if you have 3 to 4 weeks of no P&M,, the best way to do this, make sure you lubricate your hands, dont do fantasy so dont think about anything just relax focus on your slow breathing and in the feeling or sensitive of your penis for the arousal...

i really recomend you guys to get the Sex God ED2 ebook becouse is gold and will boost your confidence,, im not saying to go buy it couse i didnt buy it my self but believe me it worth having it......

olso take the good advice from anonym273

good luck and take care ;)          
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
hi my doctor told me that porn reduces the sex drive, the only patients she has who have problems with sex or getting hard etc are people who have been watching porn other people who have normal relationships close to what we have he just cant get aroused without it and even then it takes soooooooo long and even then he may not be able to come. he watches it every 1 2 3 days so by the time i want to get together he tries but its hard wok so there u have it its a relation ship evil without porn do not have these same problems. i would def say from my experience with my husband that she is right. making love goes out the door with a partner who watches porn and its just hard work for me and he takes little interest in me as he is so used to seeing it in front of him when we do do it. From my perspective its sad that the partners of porn watchers have to suffer as well i wish he had never started it as we use to have a great sex life now its almost nil. plus i find it insulting and it does nothing for my self esteem. i dont know what i can do to get things back to the way they were or even
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I am 48 years old. I have been masturbating since I was 13 years old. I was shy with girls as a teenager. But at the age of 26 I had my first girlfriend. Sex was okay. Then I had other relationships which did not work. Some of those relationships had great sex. However because I moved from USA to Europe and then back again  I had a hard time meeting a girl. So I opted for more masturbation. I looked at sex magazines and then I looked at porn on the internet. The more I looked the more I wanted. Masturbating in front of my computer caused me my two marriages.
During my second marriage, I had come back to the USA from Europe to resettle. My second ex wife had pelvic pain and we had no sex for two years. I ended going on gay chats because it was free. I am not gay by any means but I thought I could save some money. Now I have a girlfriend but I am also watching gay chat where I see my self and the other person. This has been HELL! I want to be able to have normal sex with my girlfriend and not depend on gay chat or porn.

Please HELP ME!!!!
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I have never been able to maintain an erection during sex. My first encounter with a woman was at age 18, I am now 25 and have had about 5 different partners, none of which I could maintain an erection for more than a few minutes, let alone finish. M&P since age 13, into some freaky stuff, some of the freakiest out there I dare say.

For 6 months I had no sexual partners, instead I have been vigorously excercising. Doing intense interval cardio for 3 miles, 6 days a week, followed by 45 minutes of lifting. Also eating a very strict low fat, high protein diet. I found not only am I great shape ( I was about 25 pounds overweight when I began) which helps tremendously in attracting sexy women, but morning erections returned, spontaneous erections returned, and I can get rock hard just fantasizing about normal sexual acts. The most I've gone without M&P during this time is about 4 days, which is almost unbearable, and I finish very quickly after abstaining for that long, maybe 2-4 minutes.

June 3rd 2011: I have been seeing this girl for about a week. She is very pretty and I am definetly attracted to her. I take her to fireworks, and afterwards I invite her in, she accepts, pressure is on. I make a move and we make out for 10 minutes, hard erection maintained the whole time. Move into the bedroom, we undress each other and continue to make out, grinding for another 10 minutes, still hard. She starts to go down on me, and within 2 minutes I cant maintain the erection. Its like mentally i think "ok, I should finish soon" which just puts too much pressure on and I become completely unaroused.

She told me she was embarrassed, and I was only partially truthful in telling her that sometimes I get nervous with new partners, and that it would subside, and some other dumb lie like I was tired.  I masturbated the next morning just to make sure everything was working, sure enough rock hard, finished in 5 minutes. Then I found this thread and read its contents.

Shes coming over tonight and I know she expects sex. I am going to pickup some viagra, which I was perscribed but never filled the perscription. Should I try sex with the viagra, will viagra help? Should I warn her before sex that I have performance issues? (I fear that will kill the mood). Should I try to make an excuse to get out of sex until I have abstained from M for a while longer?

I have quit M&P since monday morning, (2 whole days, impressive I know) doing 3 sets of keegals a day since I read this. I also got a few of the over the counter supplements recommended in this thread,not expecting much out of them, but I guess it cant hurt.

Any advice for me? I'll keep you posted on my progress.


Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
The above date should read July 3rd, 2011.

Also, I read one of the posts above that recommended to abstain from sex from a couple weeks, but still make out and fool around with a partner, until your more comfortable with one another. I might try this tonight, geez im already getting nervous about asking her lol. She seems pretty into me so maybe she will give it a try. Getting rejected would suck, but it wouldn't be as bad as not being able to perform I guess. I think we all know how bad that feels.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
damn i was reading your story really hoping at the ******** bit you were still hard and that it went really well, but it didn't, was really gutted for ya. However i hadn't realised you weren't abstaining from p and m at that point, I thought you'd already tied it in with all the exercise. Anyway, good luck the journey mate. I've been porn free for months but have a girlfriend and just about there with her, but still remember being more turned on by p... So i know im not totally there yet, i still need physical stimulation to get me going. Still, things have DEFINATELY improved since quitting p.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
After a few drinks at a bar she came over to my place last night. As dumb luck would have it, shes on her period! No attempt at sex for me. I wasted a 100mg of viagra tho lol. The viagra seemed very effective, I stayed hard through out 30 minutes of foreplay. Maybe it was knowing that sex was off the table, put my mind at ease, who knows.I didn't get anywhere near finishing. The iron grip and perfect placement of my own hand is too specific to be duplicated.

Abstaining from M&P seem to be the ticket to healing the nerves in the penis, I suspect M to be the main culprit in my case. She is leaving on a trip to washington DC for a week tomorrow, so Im gonna continue my keegals, rigorous excercise, and no more M&P, and give it a shot when she gets back, with the viagra. I figure even if I fail and she never wants to see me again, its worth the experience, and its a good way to gauge progress as sort of a "starting point". Most of us know the awkwardness and shame of not being able to perform, but how can u improve if you never try? Plenty of fish in the sea.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Thanks for the encouraging words. After only 3 days with no M&P, I've got a long ways to go, but I'm commited and I want to fix this problem more than I want anything else in the entire world.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Guys, update here...

Its been almost 4 weeks cold turkey... I didnt want to do anything for two months, but i was horny as hell. So i got down to business with this chick... I got hard at first, then as soon as she started to ** me, i lost half lost it. From that point on i started to overthink the whole thing, thats the most dangerous part ( we need to relax, or our minds will take over), anyway, still i manage to penetrate her, but i was mostly flacid... However, bad it was, i finished quite fast... So at least i got my sensitivity back, btw this was with a rubber. Before i started this whole thing, i ( with the help of levitra) could go for hours without an orgasm. In fact i was pretty surprised i could come with such a flacid erection.

Anyway... After this we started talking, in the back of my mind was my ed problem, but i didnt talk about it. After a while, i started rubbing her body, and got rock hard again, so we tried again, this time i was a little more relaxed and kept it pretty hard through the **, and when i went for the kill...... ROCK SOLID ERECTION! Nice one indeed, we started doing the monkey business, but after a couple of minutes, she started to talk and fool around in the middle of, and kind of killed the mood, so i got soft again. We then changed positions and when i focused in the act, i could get it back, but the friking chick was kind of a mood killer so everytime i got harder she did something that make me lost it. In the end i could finish again with a 60-70% erection.

Now, what can i get from all of this... Im not cured yet, howerver i for sure got my sensibitly back. I did got pretty hard just touching her. I could mantain a hard on when i was more relaxed (i should mention the venue was kind of a shiit hole, i believe that had something to do too).

Conclusion: i have mixed feelings, for one, im pretty sure im better. My erections come a lot easier and are harder than before for sure, but also i have a long way to go. Our anxiousness (product of previous performamce issues) is as important to heal as the p&m thing. Im sure that with the right girl in the right place it would have been a lot better. I will try to go 4 more weeks w/o p&m and then try to have sex again. I know two months are nothing, but w/o p&m i really can't take it, its too damn hard, i need to fck someone (better sex than M i think). But i've seen progress...

What do you guys think? Any comment will be really appreciated...
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
excellent news in my opinion, congrats. A relatively short period of time too. Keep up the good work.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Yes, like you said in a previous post... The improvement is clear... The porn thing is without a doubt the main problem. There was a time i thought i never could get that hard w/o ed meds.

I'm keeping positive, and we need to keep this thread going, since we know how important is for us to have some place where we can share this damn problem. Kind of a moral support thing. We can help each other out. I dont know if everybody get that. Personally, i got such a big confidence and mood boost just by finding this thread.

Kudos to you, and i commit myself to try and help whoever needs help. As well to keep updating my (hopeful) progress...
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
How is going with you? and the other women who have husbands with this problem?  I just found out this ugly truth about my husband and I'm totally lost.  
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Seven weeks in today with no mb or p, five weeks to go, i'm sooo, ridiculously sexually frustrated it drives me crazy. I am seeing killer results, this process really, really works, all I have to do is think about a sexual act and it gets hard... harder than it was before... and that was with physical stimulation. So the results are very good, and i know I will make it the end and I won't relapse, but it is just so annoying not being able to orgasms, honestly this process gets more difficult as more time is elapsed, you see better a better results each week... and if I am having these great results now imagine what it will be like when i complete the whole 3 month sprint, but the frustration does build and build and build. The difficult part isn't staying away from porn it's the not mbing. I know this post has a negative underlying to it but I just wanted somewhere where i could post my frustrations haha. Keep strong guys, I'll see you on the other side. (Y)
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
1 week tomorrow morning no MPO!  I did an experiement of sorts last night. Went to a concert with a friend of mine who is openly gay. Afterwards went back to his place and got tipsy and started to fool around. Absolutely no response from my penis, no erection whatsoever. I am unable to have an orgasm with a woman (yet), but I can stay hard for a long time. I figured it was worth a shot, but I think I've ruled out homosexuality as a cause for my ED, even tho I was already pretty sure it was the P&M. I'm kinda relieved, it would've shaken me to the core if I had been really into it. kinda off topic but I felt like sharing lol

No big change as far as urgency to M or overall sensitivity, but its only been 1 week. My sex drive seems to have gone down slightly since I was regularly masturbating, seems like a typical response for most people in the recovery process, it gets worse before it gets better.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I thought I would add some more encouragement to this thread. I have been following for quite some time actually, but finally feel compelled to contribute.

I have had all the same issues as most people on here, including wondering if I was gay. I knew deep down that I wasn't, but I had to wonder, just like some of you were saying. I was kinda zany as a kid, and some of the "cool" athletes growing up would call me a fag or whatever, and then I started to wonder "Geez, were they right?" Again, I knew I wasn't because even as early as 12 or 13 I would lie in bed and fantasize about girls for hours. If you are gay, you probably have it figured out pretty early on, not in your late teens or early 20s.

I was pretty religious as a kid and young adult, so sex before marriage was out of the question. Naturally I whacked it a lot, and when I got into college and had my own laptop, started watching more porn, especially in the last four years as it has become even more readily available. And of course, I changed my hand grip and technique over the years to achieve more and more sensation. I was damn near 23 (now 25) when I first had sex, so I believe that I had substantial time to develop sexual habits that were very specific. I even had a few girlfriends who didn't like to give oral, so really I just got a lot of handjobs, haha. My problem was I would see a super hot girl in class, get really aroused, and then just race back to my dorm and rub one out. Instead I should have been trying to race back to HER dorm.

Like many of you, I had my own theory about porn before I found several of the sites online that link ED to porn. I mean, I even thought about the rapid sales of Viagra and the correlation to internet porn, they both came into mainstream right around the same time.

So, to try and make this quick, I quit P&M cold turkey a few times, always with a relapse. I think the P is easier to quit than the M, but every time I quit the M for a week or two, I would see drastic improvement in my "lower region," with morning wood and increased sensitivity. I moved to Australia a while ago and did not have internet for a month, and I could tell my body was "hungry" again for women--it was driving me crazy, but it was a good feeling.

I have had plenty of embarrassing moments, and avoided plenty of sexual chances, and I think they biggest killer is the anxiety. I'm sure many of you who are recovering will find that you can walk around your room with a rock-hard hammer for ten minutes no problem, but it may not be so with a girl right now. Trust me this is ok, it is part of the recovery process.

NOW FOR THE GOOD STUFF

Three weeks ago, I met up with this girl and we traveled to a city together. We came back to my place and ended up having sex. Now actually I really didn't have a problem getting up, even though I had watched porn the day before--but overall I had been cutting down drastically compared to my old habits of the last four to five years. I wasn't able to orgasm except for when she gave me oral. We hooked up the next morning and I was pretty tapped out, and had to finish myself off.

But, I knew I was going to see her again in two weeks, and I knew sex was definite, so it was really easy to lay off the P&M. I mean, really really easy. I just kept visualizing me and her together, having great sex.

Well, the two weeks came, and things were pretty great, though I was a little nervous I was also confident. I got up and in no problem, but I could tell that I wasn't super hard. Well, it comes and goes. But then we switched to doggy and I let her do all the work, and it was pretty much done a few minutes after that. I got super hard and busted in a few minutes, and this was after probably 20 minutes of missionary. This tells me that I am probably still very visually and graphically stimulated from watching years of P, because from that angle you can see EVERYTHING.

Anyway, I was with this girl for a good while over the next few days, and there was a lot of just lying in bed. Like a poster above me, I could get hard in seconds just from starting to rub her body. What a great feeling, so natural. It was like "Woah, hey, look what I've got down here! Well, only one thing to do now..." As I got more and more comfortable with her the better it got. It was like we were just playing, which is what sex should be. Just having fun.

I still don't come every time from sex, but this is the best progress I have had to date. Now I am very motivated to not watch porn and take it easy on the M. I think they biggest thing is the anxiety though. If you get with a girl, you have to relax. Take it easy, go slow. Undress her carefully, and treat her like the beautiful woman she is. Take her in, ask her to turn around, show off her body, all that stuff. Hey, even start with a back rub and kiss her shoulders and lick her stomach. Girls love that stuff, they really do. Don't just go right for the kill.  The hard part is not knowing when a girl is going to come into your life. Then you figure a little P&M won't hurt. It's hard guys, I know it is, but just keep coming here for encouragement and visualize a bright future. This should be a place where we can say anything, even the guy above who said he experimented with his gay friend. I mean, I'm not sure if I personally would have gone to those lengths, but hey whatever you have to do to achieve your final goal.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment