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Too much porn/masturbation cause ED?
Hi I m a 28 year old and suffer some degree of ED in recent. I start masturbated since I m 19 and usually use porn as a form of visual stimiulation. I have observed that I have lost the ability to maintain erect during intercource or I only get weak erection. My question is: does masturbation in association with porn will "exhaust" my interest towards sex and create a negative impact on my ability to get aroused in real sex? I m worried cause I think I m still young to have physical cause  for ED. Any thought?
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You can do it, but you have to REALLY want to. You need to stay focussed and driven. I'm on day 35 of no P/M. I was tempted by porn yesterday, but said no! Although I've had successful sex with my partner, I'm still recovering as the porn is still trying to pull me in.

A few minutes of pleasure Vs a lifetime of a healthy sexlife - no comparison when you look at it like that.

Be strong and get your life back, good luck with your journey.
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Just wanted to point out that we have breached the 1000 post mark, which I think qualifies this issue as a real epidemic worthwhile of national exposure. Let's all chip in and forward this to the powers that be. News, government, doctors, etc. The more people who send this to them, the more they will open their eyes.
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1850439 tn?1320424605
Day 1.  I've seen a few doctors about my ED in the past, even clinics that specialize in ED, and no one ever spoke of too much M and P.  It's strange that I always knew in the back of my mind what was causing my problems but I just didn't want to believe it.  MB is such an easy, cheap fix.  I wish I could remember what put me on this path to begin with.
Today I am utterly convinced that I will never look at P again, and as long as I have a girlfriend I will not MB.  I know this because I have read so many testimonials regarding how effective abstaining is.  I thank you all for sharing your comments.  I can only assume most men here would not bring this up in conversation with anyone, but feel free to express themselves on this forum, anonymously.   After hearing about other people conquering this addiction, I finally have the hope and determination to make it happen.  I just know I won't fall back on the habits that have ruined a good part of my life.  It's been a burden on my mind for as long as I can remember.  The guilt and anxiety and self loathing.  This is the only place that has given me the will power to move forward.  I have never known a life without conhttp://www.medhelp.org/posts/Mens-Health/Too-much-porn-masturbation-cause-ED/show/183203?page=6#stant MB and I think it's been responsible for a lot of negativity in my life.  I wonder what life will be like months from now.  I'll probably be kicking myself for not taking charge sooner.  Such is life.  
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Reading this forum, for past few weeks I tried to stay away from PMO, but even with my vigorous efforts every time I ended up relapsing on 7~10th days.What I have noticed during those days is when you suddenly cut off porn, you will definitely initially feel worst, experiencing symptom 'zero libido', like many recovered users said, and that's cause lots of anxiety. And it is so scary can put you into terrible thoughts you may not be able to find your way out for eternity, and you would likely get desire to Test your libido.

On my 7th day no PMO, I had no libido at all, no morning woods, no erection, no sexual desire, absolutely nothing. Even when I masturbated watching my favorite porn, it was so hard for me to get a boner for unknown reason and I was scared to the death.However, next day(today) I had no problem jerking off while watching same porn. Apparently porn had desensitized my brain, and that needs to be rewired.

So, guys!! DO NOT TEST it during abstinence. Have a faith!
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I went 11 days and then masturbated twice because it became too overwhelming....  I'm at college around HOTT girls for most of the week .... so its tough enough to not try banging them, as well as not masturbating to alleviate this.... I felt a little disappointed but, I'm still not going to start masturbating regularly again... I haven't since Saturday and dont plan to...  I plan to continue abstain from... before the 11 days i had only gone 3 days...  and before that I had only went 2 weeks wayyy back in 2007.. so its one-day-at-a-time for me.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
day #26 of no PMO and I noticed I'm starting to have dreams about women again. I haven't had dreams like this in years.
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I had this dillemma  but I'm proud to say I beat it

I found that the main reason why I wasn't staying hard during sex was because after maturbating daily (4-5 times daily) for like 10 years, my penis was accustomed to the sensation my right hand was giving it, and the vagina (especially with a condom on) wasn't doing it for me

I then just one day said **** it and started only masturbating with my left hand with a condom on about once a week (To magazines like maxim, Visualization is the way to go, you don't to see other guys having sex, you want to imagine yourself ******* her). Was weird at first and I'd usually go soft after 10 minutes without finishing but week after week I started seeing improvments, until I was finally able to finish with my left hand. Then I had sex one night soon after and the vagina was great .... and I've never looked back. I'm now at a point where I only masturbate if I havn't had sex that week

I don't see the benefit of not masturbating ever again as to me thats just asking for you to relaspe (unless your having weekly sex). But if that method works for you then thats great. Good luck fellas
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Thanks for the input.. that sounds like quality advice.
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Because, quitting altogether seems unreasonable.. unless i start banging other girls as well as my g/f... i'm just doing a major cutback....
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...also, w/o using porn ever
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I somewhat agree. If you have no gf or steady sex partner then going months without an orgasm may start to drive you crazy. But if you do have a gf or steady partner then masturbation should be out the question.
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1850439 tn?1320424605
Day 2. The loss of libido when attempting to abstain always struck me as kind of weird.  when I felt most committed to stopping I suddenly lost interest.  After a few days I get concerned and wonder if I'm really doing the right thing.  Then I test to make sure I can actually feel horny yadda yadda yadda, I'm off the wagon and cleaning up a mess.  Now that I know this is apparently a common part of the process I'm no longer worried about it.  http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Mens-Health/Too-much-porn-masturbation-cause-ED/show/183203#
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1850439 tn?1320424605
Day 2. The loss of libido when attempting to abstain always struck me as kind of weird.  when I felt most committed to stopping I suddenly lost interest.  After a few days I get concerned and wonder if I'm really doing the right thing.  Then I test to make sure I can actually feel horny yadda yadda yadda, I'm off the wagon and cleaning up a mess.  Now that I know this is apparently a common part of the process I'm no longer worried about it.
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Wow, So I believe that I have stumbled upon the end of the rainbow which I never have before, but apparently many of you have. It was grade six, 12-13 years old and my friend was like, you man, have you ever ejaculated, went home, came for the first time, and  was hooked, every day, or at least multiple times per week for the last 8 years, (21 now) always thought it was normal thing.. and yes it is, but not till recently that i realized it was also a major problem, i got a gf when i was 16 for the last 3 years of highschool, she was in grade 9, and wasn't ready yet, but it didn't bother me because i could still PMO, then when she was ready (i was hammered) we tried, i couldn't get fully erect or even near as much as i was able to with PM, i blamed it on the alcohol.

But  when we tried more times well it was the same deal,  so i always just looked to P/M to get it out, and i always found it weird that during any sort of sexual activity with her i couldnt get it hard but with porn i was mint!,  so for more years to come i really just looked past the fact or well, ignored it, me and the gf broke up got a new girl and was like,new girl, new erections? nope same old story and back to P/M i went, that was 2 years ago, now at 21, im looking deeper into the fact, because well, i want a sex life that so many of my friends have already experienced and are, i feel, out of place, or the stranger to the group ( but this all in my head i dont actually let them know)

Its been at the point for where over the last year, it has highly effected my confidence, to where the point that i dont even bother trying to get to know any new females because im afraid of getting to that point of where ill need to get a erection, and ill just be humiliated, and there go my confidence even lower then it already is, and i believe that it isn't only effecting my confidence and mood sexually, but just in general aspect. so like many of you im sure, searched and searched to see wtf was up, kept coming back to its ok to masturbate, so of course i did, even though in the back of mind it didnt feel right, and i knew for a fact it just wasnt.. fun anymore, tried different aspects of P, just to get me going.

*didn't know i had so much to write*

I just felt like, letting you guys and gals know where i was coming from, but reading everyones success stories on here has giving me high hope, and now i realize that this addiction is a major problem in my life and needs to be stopped. so as of right now no more PMO, and well i hope you guys are telling the truth and not just a bunch of bloks getting paid to type **** on here, I would give anything to have a great sex life, and gain my confidence back to where i tried having sex for the first time. i hope this is an active forum and ill be sure to stay active, Good luck to everyone
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Your story is similar to mine man
Same situation, first girlfriend couldn't get it in, blamed it on alcohol
Week later try again, in for like 5 min then soft, as my hand just felt better

This may sound stupid but you just gotta make your penis forget what your hand feels like by cutting it off, or in my case switching to your other hand (story is a couple posts above). Then once you feel strong downstairs (trust me you will, your body is use to "releasing" multiple times a day and stopping that will make you rock solid whenever you see a pretty girl) go for it with a girl. If your like me you won't beable to get enough, and the benefit of your 5 years of hurt will be that you should beable to last a very long time

All it takes is will power man

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Hi guys, I found this place through a chain of links that started on a tech news website I visit often, but now that im here and reading all this, it feels so good to know that what is happening to me is not just happening to me. Im 18, going to college next year, Ive been PMO for about 5 years now. It started pretty slowly but in the past year It became a whole lot more frequent. last year I would have reached maybe P/M/O 1.5, maybe 2 times everyday on average. Ive been trying to sort of make it a treat every now and then and try to distance myself from it as much as i can. But I find whenever I do, i kind of binge for a day or two.

"sleeptalker" - My situation is really similar to yours, School work and everyday stuff fills the gap fine but when i come home after school, there just anything to do that can match the enjoyment of P. Same here, my own room/laptop/internet, there really isnt anything stopping me. If I could socialise more after school that would help alot but that doesnt allways happen. Its just the free time i have to myself. I go to a single sex school, so i dont really know any girls to socialize with. I live in a small town, there isnt much in a way of nightlife for people my age. Im still a virgin btw. I dont really know when/to who I want to loose it.

"completewanker" - You said that when you were really young, you sort of lied down on your stomach and kind of dry humped the floor? I did that too. And It scared the hell out of me when I read that somebody else did it too! I didnt know what I was doing or why nobody else seemed to do it, or do it a different way... Its a problem ive allways wondered about.

I dont get morning glory anymore, spontaneous erections are rare. I find im not being turned on by girls I see, even though i can tell theyre hot. I could hold an erection last time I M, and I get sensation, but O really, really doesnt feel as good as it once did. Ive been reading some articles about Dopamine, and the brains reward system being over-indulged, I think thats whats happening to me. So theres a challenge to quit P/M/O for 8 weeks is it? Im gonna give that a go. Good luck to every one doing it now!
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Tomorrow will mark my 28th day of no PMO and I am so happy about this. Not 1 day I played with my penis or watch porn. I told my special female friend and she was so happy for me. She ask me if I can go another 30 days and I told her I'm thinking about doing this forever. She said I should because that's normal. Every time I think of her sexually I get an erection and I love this feeling. The only time I want my penis touched is by her. I'm starting to feel normal again. Silly of me to think I need PM in my life to get by...
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1850439 tn?1320424605
Indeed.  I read about someone else’s similar childhood practice of bed humping and it felt strange to think someone else figured out the same thing.  When I discovered this Pleasurable act at my young age I immediately told all my friends at school.  Didn’t want to keep such a great find to myself.  I only mentioned it here to illustrate how powerless I was to getting hooked.  I couldn’t possibly have known the consequences of what I was doing.  All this happened before my brain developed much reason.  You’re lucky to be addressing this now while you’re so young.  Give up the self love and wait for the real thing.  The girls will come.  Just hit the gym and learn how to dress nice and you’ll never be short of someone to satisfy you.  Trust me.
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To all the guys who said they hump their bed or the floor, you should check out this site.

http://www.healthystrokes.com/
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Im at a loss for words now. I cant believe that theres this much information on it. To be honest, after seeing how the rest of the world did it, I tried masturbating "normally" but it has never gotten me to orgasm. Well, Im a few days into abstinence already, hopefully when my body lowers its expectation I can learn this new skill that I should have learnt in the first place. Ill have to now because Im not going to continue TMS if its so unhealthy. I might never do it again. I really am lucky that I found this place at this time in my life. Thank you so much for finding this! You and this forum are helping me change my life for the better!
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when my penis erects then within a short while then it gets down,what medicine can be good for that,or stoping of masturbating and watching of porn can bring back every thing to it normall position.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I agree with everything on that site except for the part it says a male needs to ejaculate once every 2 weeks to make sure his penis is functioning properly. I believe that if you are no longer masturbating and your penis still occasionally get erections from visual stimuli (looking at women) or thinking about women then your penis is working fine.

On a good note, I discovered that site maybe 10 years ago and have not masturbate prone since...
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Speechless!
I've been trying to stop my masturbation habit for quite some time but with much failure.
After reading some of the posts, i feel enlightened. I finally realize that I'm not the only one with masturbation problem.
I don't know why i didn't stumble to this forum in the first place. With this abundance of info, i hope i will prevail my war against my masturbation habit.

Thank You.

Final note, let's fight together. We can do it.
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Hi all,

I have been reading hundreds of post on this site for the last week. I'm in the same boat as everyone else here;

25 years old, one year ago I came out of a 4-year long relationship in which I never experienced ED, but when I think back on it I might had less hard erections in the last year of it and a harder time to get hard sometimes. After the break I have been hiding in porn, and of course I have been searching for more and more extreme things. Sometime I masturbated 4 times a day to P. When I were in the relationship I also did PMO, most likely every day but I don't really remember, as said I didn't realized in that time that it might be a problem...

However, then during my first single-summer I had two bad experiences with two very hot and sweet girls. Everything went perfect except that I wasn't able to keep an erection. In the beginning I thought it was just because I was nervous and stuff like that, but then I began noticing:

1; when I masturbated I clenched real hard with my right hand
2; It was hard for me to keep the erection
3; I needed several videos at one time to keep my arousal up
4; porn was always on my mind, in school, at work, when I tried to sleep, etc.
5; No morning wood ever
6; No spontaneous erections either
7; I looked forward to get home an watch porn.

hallelujah! I realized that Something was just to ****** up! I deleted my 65 GB of porn and thought from now on I wood control myself. I tried to stay off for a while, but only a few days later I would be touring the tube-sites. Then installed a blocker, but however still easy to get around such thing.

I kept like this for 2 month or so and during this time I got really freaked out. I was simply not horny anymore and everything felt wrong. I started doubting myself that this would never go back to normal and stuff like that, never being able to have a normal relationship again and so on. nervous ALL the time! An every time the feeling got to intense I would crawl back to P just to prove to myself that the thing down there still worked! I even got to a low where I ejaculated with a complete limp ****!

Then I found this site, and what a relief! Reading stories of others in the same boat made me relax a little bit and it felt good from the first evening to know that there could be light ahead!

Now I have been PMO free for one week! And it feels weird and good. My experiences so far:

1; I now get hard in the morning, it is not there when I am opening my eyes, but during my twenty minutes of snoozing it's there!
2; I can get a spontaneous erection if I am thinking about a girl. Not just watching a girl, but thinking. I try to think of girls I could potentially date and I try to limit my day-fantasies to normal sex - no gaping and stuff like that:)
3: It might be a placebo effect, but I generally fell better. It feels good to do something for your self that makes sense.

My advice for all of you (or the ones of you who wants to listen):

1: Stay away from PORN. If you suddenly have porn in your head, then throw it out off your head. Again and again. It will stop sooner or later.

2; I think thats a lot of us puts to much pressure on our self.
  * Don't be afraid of having a wet dream. They are IMO a very good sign that you are healing.
  * If you want to masturbate, then do it. However try to limit it to 2-3 times a week. Think about normal fantasies and normal girls. Maybe one you spotted on the street earlier. Never go for a second round of M, even though your body scream for more of it!
  * If you do masturbate, then try to do it in a new way. Maybe use opposite hand and only light touch. You can even try to put a condom on to get used to the feeling of how its gonna be next time you are with a girl.

3: Don't change everything in your life if it is to much.
  * If you smoke, try to limit it instead of a total quit. To many changes might be to much and the disappointment of potentially failing in several things might hit you real hard.
  * The same goes for alcohol. Try to limit it a bit. It wouldn't hurt for sure.
  * Go out, drink some beers, have a smoke. Talk to girls, smile be happy and don't worry about what might happen later.

4: If you do get a girl with home or you end up at her place, then relax!
  *If it won't get up, do something else with. After all, none of you should be in a hurry.
  * If the thought of actual intercourse makes you to nervous, tell her that you would like to wait. After all, most girls likes sex, but many girls are having sex on their first dates to satisfy the guys. If they don't do it, they are afraid that we will loose interest. It is a crazy world we have reached here by 2011 :)
  * Make sure she feels sexy all the time, and make sure to tell her that. Maybe add that lately you have had some erectile problems and that you are sure that you will get over them with time. Confidence is sexy and she will most likely respect this, maybe even help you over your little problem.
  * If it's a new girl, then don't tell her about the excessive porn abuse. That might just sound to creepy for her in the beginning. Over time though, it is always a good thing to come clean!

5: To sum up. IMO and a least for me, I am sure that PORN is the PROBLEM and that PORN IS THE ONLY PROBLEM. It has screwed up my brain, but I am sure it is possible for me to get back to normal.

I will not live a life where I have to feel bad if I masturbate. It is ******* normal to masturbate and everyone else does it. However, they might do it differently than we have been used to and we need to learn that. We are not that different after all!

As said, it has now been a week with out PMO, I will try to go on longer, and I will definably not go back to P. EVER! However, I am sure I won't do total 60 days without M; that just doesn't sounds healthy to me :)

I hear the 60 days number a lot in here, but I don't get it. When would one know that everything is back to normal? If you are only allowed to have real sex, then it becomes impossible to stay single living like that :)

I wish everyone a good fight and keep it up all!

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Wow... who knew masturbation was so addictive... it just took me a hour to overcome a craving...
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hey my name is charles. I was having a question which I was so cureous about it. Why most girls out there masturbate? because I wonder guys like me are looking for gorgeous chicks, but for them they dont feel us.
am waiting your feedbacks if its possible. you can send your feedback to my email which is  m.***@****

thank you all
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Ok yesterday i finished my 8 weeks with no PMO and i had sex with my girlfriend.

I stayed hard throughout foreplay and throughout sex.  In all i probably stayed hard for about 25 minutes.  I didn't have P thoughts going through my head and i just concentrated on the feeling in my c*ck

I wanted to go the whole of september and october without PMO (61 days) but last night we were fooling around in bed together and i just thought oh well may as well go for it coz at 56 days technically that IS 8 weeks

Surprisingly the orgasm, which i had been worried/excited about was very disappointing.  It didn't last long and felt like no other orgasm i have ever had before.  It's hard to explain the difference, all i can say is that that feeling you get in your head when you orgasm just wasn't there.  It's like i was clear-headed as i came which felt odd but not very satisfying at all.  Still, after 8 weeks, i suppose it's not surprising that it was very different to normal.  I just kind of assumed it would be the most amazing one i've ever had.

Anyway it's too early to say if this has worked yet for me.  I still get porn flashbacks in my head that i still find very erotic.  I'm going to stay off the P and the M and the fantasy.  If i do give in and M i will do it to sensation only and keep a blank mind.  

Many thanks to Palpateit who gave me a lot of invaluable advice along the way.  
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i am a twenty one year old guy i have been addicted to porn for the last three years and to masturbation for the past 8 years.
i actually dint think i was addicted to it and thought it was normal to jerk off watching porn.
But recently i have realized that i am addicted to it since i cant masturbate without porn and my mind makes me do it even when i try to abstain from it. just a casual surfing of net leads me to some links and then to the porn site. the access to it is so easy that i cant stop myself from doing it .
I feel its more out of boredom and loneliness that i do it. i don't have any female friends and i get desperate and the only way to get it off is watching p/m  
Then after doing it i feel guilty and ashamed of myself.
I now want to overcome this problem once and for all and make my life a peaceful one where i can spend my free time doing some useful work developing some new hobby instead of whiling away my time in this selfish act which will destroy me
I HAVE DECIDED TO ABSTAIN FROM PORN COMPLETELY .
But since i am single ill masturbate once in ten days.and then slowly try to reduce the frequency because i feel going without it all of sudden is not possible even if i want to get it out of my life forever.
i would also try my best to make a girlfriend to come out of my loneliness and boredom
i pray to the almighty God to hep me in this endeavor to help me realize the meaning of life and develop self control.
I wish all of you suffering from this problem all the best in overcoming it.
By the grace of God we all shall overcome it and lead a normal healthy life.
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tonight is my 2 week mark and dont have any urges and have not been getting morning wood and only a few erections. The porn i watched got wierder and weirder however so maybe it will take my brain longer to re wire.
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Girl said those dreadful words..
"WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?"

Ugh....Well, I just had my first embarrassing, and horrifying experience of not being able to get hard with a hot girl, and ruined EVERYTHING. It was so intense leading up to intercourse attempt.. Everything was so perfect.. and I ruined it.

It was hard at first before i went to put the condom on.. I realized at that moment however, that it wasn't rock hard as normally in my life. Now I realize it's because I've been masturbating everyday for the past month, and when I masturbate, I go for 3 rounds or so consecutively.  I realized this instantly after she left, that it was because of my stupid PM habit. So, as soon as I went to put the condom on, it went down instantly and couldn't get it back up..  "What's the problem?".. :(

For the past month or so, I haven't had a car because I lost it in an accident, and I've had alot of time to myself in my apt, alot of alone time, not keeping busy, this spells trouble for PM habit..  This really ******* *****. And I should have known how serious this was. Messing with the libido and goods down there is more serious than I thought.

Thanks for comments everyone. I am giving this up for a long time, and if I go back, only once maybe at the end of the week if i don't have sex with a girl. that's it.
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Hey guys, Keep up the good work!

Just wanted to tell you guys: after a week of abstinence from PMO, and after a life time of "TMS" before that, This afternoon I masturbated and reached orgasm, lying on my back for the first time in my life. It was weird, new. It was amazing to watch myself ejaculating for the first time as well.

So what now? Ill continue to keep away from porn for good, and try to kill any P fantasies that enter my thoughts, let my brain rewire itself. Ill masturbate as little as possible, but I still have to try all this new stuff out :) Personally I wont give up M altogether because my sex life hasn't really started yet, (I will once I have a steady girl friend) and Ive googled a few things, some doctors believe that M can be healthy for your sex organs so long as it's not done excessively. Like relieving pressure due to fluid buildup, exercise , etc. This doesn't seem to be 100% proven though, and im not convinced of it either.

Its annoying, this unproven research being the 'Rock" and the proven research that Ive exhausted my brains reward system, being the "Hard Place" that im stuck between.

But keep it up everyone! We can all get through this together! Thank you all so much for the support!
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i'm starting my 60 days without p/o now, my girlfriend thinks that i have stopped and i did stop before for about 40-50 days, but iv started again. Its just so easy to fall back into old habits, so my advice it for any1 trying to stop for good is to just stay away from it all together, espescially if ur in a relationship theres no need for it
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3 WEEKS!!
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I'm also addicted to Porn Masturbation and have been at least from the age of 15. I started at  13 and now I find myself at 34, still single and still suffering from ED - which I had all my life. I find my story to be different than anything I read on this amazing post and wish to share it. My abstinence "record" is 10 days without orgasm… over the past 21 years.

To all the guys that wrote here: thank you, from the bottom of my heart thank you.
You've just changed my life.

Reading this post and subsequently:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201003/porn-goes-performance-goes-down
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201010/how-i-recovered-porn-related-erectile-dysfunction
http://yourbrainonporn.com/erectile-dysfunction-and-porn
- has seriously changed how I view Porn and Masturbation.

I have been numb and desensitized to real women sexuality all my life. I cannot recall a time where I got a hard-on just by looking at a real woman which I found desirable. I've even felt proud of it sometimes and thought that made be better than others. Stupid pride.

I did make it a point that no women that I get to be intimate with goes without enjoying her time with me. I made sure that I'm good at giving her pleasure, thus my ED was never really an issue to anyone but myself. It always came up, but I had ready excuses. That is… until I read this post. No excuses left now.

I had never had any problems with insecurity or feeling like I'm bad in bed since they always had many more orgasms than me, and enjoyed their time - I'm a good masseur, not just giving head. On the flip side, I rarely reach orgasm with a woman, and so far can only get orgasms if I masturbate myself while she… helps, no matter how attractive I find her to be.

I recently even had thoughts of not seriously going out on dates or finding a partner and just indulge myself on easy masturbation whenever the mood hits me. My problem now is that I've gotten to be too good at it - more than 90% of the time I reach really strong orgasms, especially if I wait a day or two in between. Only now I realize it's nothing to be proud of, and nothing at all to hope for.

A few days ago I went to a prostitute for the first time in my life. I found her really attractive but as expected I didn't orgasm and got flaccid in her mouth after more than 45 minutes of head. She said she has never experienced such a thing before and told me to see a doctor. For my part, I enjoyed kissing and cuddling her more than the other things she did. The kissing, the "Girl Friend experience", is what I'm missing the most. Not feeling alone. For this I'm willing to forgo P/M. I don't know if I'll make it. 21 years might be too long and doing all this alone most definitely isn't going to help.

I do love growing up and changing myself for the better. Done it several times in other areas of my life, and I most definitely see the gains. I'm going to focus on all those things. Ohh, yeah, and I must find myself some outdoor hobbies. See more people and socialize. I hope I don't just get to say it and not do it. Staying home will be too tempting. Too easy to fall of the wagon. I'll enlist my friend to help me. I've just decided that.

Thank you for giving me a place to pour my heart out.
Good luck to all those recovering from ED.
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Glad to have found this community. I am 40 years old, was married for 10+ years and over time, my wife and I stopped being intimate and sexual. As a result, I grew very dependent on porn and masturbation. I found that I could get hard no problem while tugging the friar, but not at all when trying to have very occasional sex with my wife. I put it down to my wife just not being very responsive in bed, i.e. her expecting me to do all the work and just kind of lying there. I still think that had a lot to do with my lack of hardness with her. Anyhow, that went down the tubes and we split.

I met a new, wonderful woman who I could be intimate with, who likes physical affection, and who really gets into sex as well. I figured when we did finally get to sex (it took a while to get to that point), it would be great and I'd be able to get hard and sustain it again, having someone who turns me on in the sack. No dice. I was always able to get only about 3/4 hard and if I didn't really concentrate on the sensation (but not concentrate too hard - I'm sure many of you know what I mean), I wouldn't be able to keep it up long enough to come. We muddled through it for a couple of years before she asked me what the problem was a few weeks back. I was finding it even more difficult than before to stay hard and finish.

Yes, I was still masturbating to porn all that time, increasingly more in the last few months. I barely ever missed a day. The wank sessions were pretty fantastic, with me being very hard and having large orgasms after going for 30 min or more. However, I had a death grip around my **** when masturbating, so the comparative sensation of a vagina was nowhere as stimulating by comparison. When she asked what was wrong, I admitted that I was still tugging it, and Googled to find if there was a link, which took me here.

After reading the first few pages, I decided to quit P&M cold turkey. I'd tried a few times before, but what helped me this time was the fact that I really wanted to be able to satisfy my (very hot) GF. After 5 days of no P or M, we had sex, and even in that short time, I was able to stay mostly hard in her for the whole session. I kept away from my hand, and we've since had sex 4 or 5 times, with me being able to enjoy the sensation of being in her and me getting harder and harder. The distracting (and sometimes disturbing) porn thoughts are out of my head, and I'm able to focus on her as being the thing that turns me on, not any artificial stimulation. It's been a couple of weeks now, and I don't feel any urge to go back to porn. A side benefit is that I'm able to focus better on other things in my life as well.

So thanks, everyone. I'm so glad I found this forum. If anyone tells you the two are not related, you can see from the messages here, that's a lie.
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Hello you guys,

I just wanted to say that I was once in the SAME exact predicament that you are in now.  At one time I had read ALL of the posts in this forum to gather ANY useful info that could help me.  I had times I felt hopeless and was depressed.  It lasted for approximately 2.5 years for me.  BUT, I can tell you that it is not permanent.  If you give up the porn things can and will get better.  

1) QUIT watching PORN think about the BIGGER picture
2) QUIT masturbating A little may be heathly but @ this point you should abstain from it
3) EXERCISE is VERY important to recovery.  Cardio & abdominal exercise seem to work best as they help get the blood flowing in that area.

MOST importantly for myself PRAYER helped me remain focused and not give up.

Also I had acupuncture therapy that helped me GREATLY.  Some of you may want to take a serious look.  The very next morning after my 1st acupuncture treatment I woke up with morning wood.  After a few months I felt FAR better and have not looked back since.  But of course you would want to make sure that you do find a good acupuncturist.  With acupuncture and the herbs alongside exercise I recovered.  

Just wanted to share my experience with you all.  Feel free to message me if you want to know anything else about my experience.  Hope that this helps someone.

BE WELL my friends!!!!
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after reading all ur post today i realized that i am on the way of self destruction. i am really thankful to god that i just found out this forum and read ur experiences.i am doing m as an average man but from last 2-3 months i am gradually and unknowingly addicting to porn.bcoz of this PM i lost many things, these two things together brings lot of negativity in my life and i was not able to give 100% to other important stuffs in life.today i pledge not  to visit again any porn site or any type of porn and i also pledge to control m as far as possible and i will do it. that's a promise to u all.
thank u once for opening my eyes.  
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Im in my late teens, and i use M multiple times a day (3-5 on a normal day, sometimes more or less). I have no trouble during this, but last summer a few times i was offered oral sex. When this happened I could not get it up, and this followed again the following summer twice. This year, a few days ago, I was about to have sex with a girl but I was somewhat tired and i just couldn't get it up. Frankly its embarrassing and also quite disappointing. Does anyone think this applies to me?
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It is a relief to know there are guys out there who will accept that porn has affected their ability to have sex normally. My ex wouldn't. He insisted his inability to orgasm without porn was normal.  It led to so many tears on my part I just couldn't justify staying, and we broke up. He later said he'd do anything for me, but I don't believe him.  Every time he'd promised to go without, he would still be hurriedly closing computer windows when I got home.  Even when I asked him to not save it to his computer, to just watch it online, he went and re-downloaded everything the moment I began to trust him again, so he could look without the risk of internet history, and even tried to hide it in secret folders. For me, it was a feeling of complete uselessness.  After an hour of trying to have sex normally, we'd give up and he'd run to his computer with his hand at the ready. I wanted sex, but even when we tried all he wanted was to look at me as if I were porn and use his hand anyway.

I've come to believe that most guys would refuse to give it up, and insist their girlfriend get over it.  But when you know that the moment you leave the house, he will be watching it, it is simply soul destroying.  I would only have to step into the shower to have him start looking it up.  He claimed his experiences with porn were memories he didn't want to give up, but then through that he gave me up. I wonder how important I ever really was. He was sweet and kind, but when it came down to it he was also so selfish about this.

I hope so much that there are guys out there who don't watch porn, or who will give it up for their girlfriend. It ruined a good person who I loved, and I hope to never feel that uselessness ever again.  Reading this forum gives me hope there are guys who aren't so selfish, who will do everything in their power to keep their relationship healthy.

I wish I had found this forum earlier, back when I could have fixed my relationship.
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Ok, so I have had problems getting an erection or staying erect going back to early 2004. I am 37 years old now. Prior to 2004 I would get erect for sex with no problem, having an erection and being ready to go was never a issue. These days, I watch porn and masterbate to it(or to pictures on profiles on swinger websites) maybe 4-5 days a week. But I sit there for an hour at a time, 2-3 hours at a time, in between taking breaks, but then going back to it. The invention of Porn Tube Channels has not helped at all.

    But here is the thing, prior to 2004 when I started having this problem, I was 30, and had been masterbating all the time for 15 years without an issue of erection( I started having sex at 20)......... But here is what I realised. AND GENTLEMAN PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THIS...... In early 2004 I installed boradband internet at my house. Within weeks I was in front of the monitor trying to find as much porn as I could and masterbating to it, finding pictures online, and masterbating to them. That was a new form of masterbating for me. Prior to that, my masterbating was regulated to watching a hot girl on television, or a steamy scene on a cable movie and masterbating. Running to the bathroom and masterbating. Or right here in the living room, a quick 2 minute pleasure............ But Broadband Internet introduced me to a new form of masterbation....Long drawn out episodes of masterbation. Clicking from one video to the next until one finally turned me on to the point of ejaculation..... At times 4-5 times a day, 4-5 days a week. Going through swinger websites, going through pictues on profiles, until it made me ejaculate........ Guys, the past 7 years of this type of masterbation has RUINED my sex life......... I am an attractive guy, good body, work out all the time.......I can not count the number of great looking women I have met the past 7 years that I have not been able to perform with. The latest being last Wedmesday(10/26/11)....I met this great Asian girl, she came over. I stayed hard for a little bit, but it was gone within 5 minutes. And as I usually do when this happens, I jerk myself to get hard, but that takes a few minutes, and then when I entered her again, it didnt last 2 minutes. Needles to say, she was nice about it. But I have been texting her since that day, and I get very short non-persenol replies.........She was obviously disappointed.....

            As of late I have been confiding in friends about masterbation, and they all do it, and some say they do it all the time. But they have no problem getting erections when it comes to sex. It has obvisosly occured to met that masterbating in front of the monitor to porn, pictures, is what is effecting my sex life and inability to get erections......... I'm sure masterbating normally, maybe once a day, maybe twice a day, for a minute or two over time would have not affected my sex life and erections at all. But masterbating to internet porn and pictures really does cause you great harm.........I remember last June. I was going to Dallas for a company outing. I new a sales girl from a different branch. We exchanged sultry emails and text messages. So I did not msster bate for 3 days. I did Wednesday adfternoon, then didnt do anything until I would see her. Saturday night I went to her hotel. We were naked within 20 minutes, and heres the things. She blew me and got kind of hard, but I jered myself to get hard. And when I entered her, I could just feel this incredible feeling I had not felt in years guys, years. I was staying hard and manuvering her all over the place. It was freaking incredible. The only thing I could not control was as soon as she got on top of me I came almost instantly...But thats when I realised how internet masterbating to porn really ***** you up big time. Needles to say, to this day im still masterbating to porn, I did it last nigth for almost 2 hours. Im looking into getting professional
help. But guys, you will read different things that masterbating is not directly linked to erectile dysfunction, and that might not be true. But it does not specify the different types of masterbating habits people have. That is something that is not studied.
         I'm 37 years old and have been addicted to masterbating to internet porn since 2004 when I first got Broadband internet, and thats when my erectile dysfunction started. And I don't believe the dysfunction come from a psycological block; My brain telling my penis that it can never be as good as the porn when im in bed with a girl so there is no point in getting hard. My problem and the problem of a lot of others is the excessive pulling and strain on the penis pretty much just wears your functions out..............
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Hi, please don't make fun of me but I am 15 and ever since I was a little boy (and I mean little) I humped things until I actually started masturbating when I was 12 almost 13. I don't masturbate all that often compared to alot of other people, the most I ever masturbate in one day is twice and often I go a day or two without doing it at all. I masturbate with lotion and I am not violent about it, I do it slowly/gently. I was just wondering if this habit is going to have bad effects on my physical and/or mental health. Also, I know this is probably too much info but when I watch porn videos, I have noticed that the males in the videos *** a LOT more than me (it comes squirting out a couple feet and there is alot of the stuff). When I ***, a VERY small amount comes out of my penis. I would like to know if I have like a low sperm count or something from masturbating to much. Again, sorry for the info.
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i agree that masturbating is not the probem i was on day 19 no pmo until last night. i watched some porn but did not masturbate to it. iwoke up this morning and wanked. i dont hink abstaining from masturbation os the cure. im going to masturbathe when i get horny but not look up porn again.
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I somewhat agree with you. Masturbation is only the problem if you excessively do it. I believe when you excessively masturbate, your mind becomes too use to a particular stimulation you give your penis (your hand) and this makes all other sexual activity hard to achieve. Your mind controls everything. Masturbating once a month is no big deal but masturbating once a day can be... I rather choose not to masturbate at all or even tease my penis by partially stimulating it. I prefer a woman to please my penis only. The simple fact you are saying masturbation is not the problem only justify why you don't want to give it up completely. All porn does is make you masturbate to it.
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yes i agree it would be much better to have a woman to please you. I have found from trying to abstain from pmo that i end up looking at porn if i don't masturbate when im naturally horny. I think that quitting porn completely is essential to cure the problem. You should try not masturbate but if you get horny do as it will prevent you from watching porn and eventually all the porn fantasy that are unrealistic will dissipate from your mind,
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if that works for you then fine but honestly I do not understand your logic...
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tomorrow marks my 35th day of no PMO. I'm so excited... I did go on a date this past Friday and had a lot of erections during the date. Every time I kissed her and rub on her booty I got an erection so I'm happy from these results.
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basically im saying that masturbation is fine once you stop watching porn and have no porn fantasy in your head e.g your masturbating with thoughts of a normal girl in your head. Out of interest did you experience low libido during your 35 days. I got to 19 with no pmo and was getting worried bout not having any sex drive
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wow! tonight was not a good night at all... on my 35th day I slipped up to mastubation but no porn. I couldn't help it... My penis kept feeling sensations from the bedsheet and that led to me having old and new sexual experiences thoughts in my head for example. I was fantasizing about me at a strip club getting a lapdance and all the girls topless around each other giving lapdances. My head felt like my blood pumpin fast and my adrenaline felt like it was kickin in. All I could think about was ejaculating. I went thru this for like an hour and then started weighing the pros/cons with masturbating and breaking 60 day rule. I started to tell myself 35 days was a good accomplishment and not to be upset about it. I done lost control of the situation and freakin gave in... So I'm right-handed and decided to do it with the left-hand to avoid really feeling upset I went back to the old me. To my surprise, 1st time ever I masturbated with the left, it felt good with lube and I reach ejaculation in 5 minutes. I imagined a little like pretending it's my lady friend stroking my penis but actually I had more sensual feelings from the stroke itself and very little imagination. I thought that was a plus because before I needed a lot of imagination or visual porn to get off. Once I was finish, All those dirty thoughts in my head left immediately.

All of this started from me feeling sensations from the bedsheets, sleeping naked because I hate underwear at night. I wonder if me watching regular movies with sex scenes in it help contribute to sexual thoughts lingering in my head thru the 60 day process.  Now I have to really make myself feel better by confessing to my lady friend tomorrow of what I did. I hope she doesn't get mad at me and understands. At least I made it 35 days. What I have to do now is figure out a way to keep making it thru the nights by myself without feeling any urge to masturbate. And I think this time no watching sex scene movies.

Tomorrow marks day #1
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sexual products
Please be aware of Hashmi Dawakhana’s sexual products. These are cheater no One. They are cheating to innocent people like me. I was also attracted and impressed by their advertisements and websites.  I also got trapped by these thugs. Whatever they are promising on net like 2 inches increments in length and 50% increments in girth? These are all fake.

I took full course of my treatment what I have achieved only 1 1/2 inches increments in length and 25% increments in girth. I was also expecting to be cured of my pre ejaculation.

Please think over before making any decision
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^^^
Spam advertisment for sure
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So 14 days so far completely PMO free!

The first week felt much better than the second. I don't know if it was some kind of placebo effect I lived through during the first week. When I found this forum 14 days ago I immediately decided to start my reboot. It made somehow confident and able to relax to know that others suffered from the same and also that there was a natural explanation to my ED problem.

During the first week I got some semi-hard morning erections which was new to me, maybe I had my last one a year before or something. During the days I would feel no sex-drive, however I would still think a lot about sex but almost nothing would happen down there.

Then in week two, the morning erections disappeared again which resulted in a total lack of confidence. However, on Halloween night I somehow managed to hook up with a really hot girl from my university. She was dressed as stewardesses and everything was perfect except the total no-response from my penis. We kissed and dirty danced, but nothing happened down there. So frustrating! Ofc that kind of made me nervous and I started to act really awkward around her. Eventually I would follow her home, and we kissed and touched a little more and finally I got hard. However I didn't had the confidence to go for it even though she definitely signaled that she was ready, so I ended up leaving for home sometime during the morning. Then when I woke up next morning and I tried to masturbate (with my left hand) with this experience in mind, but I simply couldn't hold the erection. So frustrating again!

Then the next couple of days during week two I simply had no morning erections any more, no daily erections, no nothing at all and the anxiety was building up inside my body. What worse was that I had to work real hard on a difficult 45 min presentation that I had to do in class today. It was almost impossible for me to concentrate and I even found it hard just to eat... Then this morning I woke up early, two hours before my alarm clock and I had an erection, went back to sleep and woke up an hour later, still with erection. Then back to sleep and then the clock went off and I still had an erection. Christ, what a good feeling. My day turned out to be great and I totally aced that presentation later. Really remarkable what this does to your body and well being!

I can tell everyone that even though it is difficult to go through this process, I can feel that my mind is much clearer at times compared to what it have been during the last year. It is totally worth it and I am planning to stick to the plan.

I have an idea about that I would like to masturbate, maybe just to check things, but i will wait at least until my body gives me a true sign that now is the time (that being having a real 100% hard erection and a horny mind at the same time). I haven't experienced this yet and it will probably be a while before I do so...

During these two weeks I have experienced the following down-sides:

Complete lack of libido
Smaller penis
Cold penis at some times

And I have experienced these up-sides:

Clearer mind, not so much porn thinking anymore. I try to push it out of my head if the pictures suddenly are flashing in my mind. This however happens less and less.

I have had more fun and relaxed moments than I can remember I have had for a long time

I don't have any need to view porn anymore. I use my computer a lot for all kind of purposes, but find it surprisingly easy not to even to consider visiting some old favorite tube-sites.


I wish everyone good luck with their efforts and will give you a update in a week or so.

Keep it up!
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Considering the time we screwed up ourselves, wouldn't it be logical to think recovery would at least take 6months-1year? I been jerking off since I was 14, over 12years, but never had ED of any kind till last year. (Am now 26years old)

The reason I believe intensive porn usage caused my ED is all these nightmares begun from 2009, at the time I moved out, started living alone, masturbating 2~3times a day watching nasty porn.

When I watched hardcore porn on daily basis, I needed more and more kinkier/nasty stuffs to turn myself on, and was hard to maintain erection more than 1~2mins with normal porn.I also got wrong way of masturbation, 'swift stroke' and 'semi death grip'. Last year when I tried to have sex with a real woman, I just couldn't get it up at all to save myself. So far, I made several attempts to eradicate PMO from mylife, but it didn't go well..

I'm so worried whether this is reversible. Isn't there any way that I can re-gain my penile/brain sensitivity?
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hi, i don't really know how to should i start with this post. I am a concerned gf..
i have been dating this guy for 3 yrs and i noticed that everytime we have sex, there would be times when he would go soft, i don't know if i should be concerned specially when i found a lot of history or porn on his computer.
i talked to him about it, and i told him that if it makes him feel better, we can reenact or i can dress up (like last night)  but i told him that when he start having the urge to watch a porn he can only watch it with me...is that a bad thing that i gave him those option?
i need some advice. and by the way, i am not a promiscuous kind of girl, im 22 and the girl-next-door type of girl. i can be a bit wild at times but that is only when i like the person.
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having him watch porn with you probably won't make a difference with his erections. he needs to stay away from porn completely.
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thanks you dor your response.. i actually just finish talking to him and i told him about this forum and i guess i just didn't know how to open up the topic without him not feeling guilty. but after reading more stories in this forum and understanding more about this condition it gave me the courage to talk to him in none invasive way.
i asked him to try not to watch porn nor to masturbate for as long as he can and i made it clear that i am here to support and back him up.. he said he is confident that he can do it...but like what other people say, its easier said than done.
i'll keep you guys updated after few weeks (hopefully)
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I am a somewhat successful male in his mid twenties.  Despite that fact, I was extremely unhappy because I couldn't shake the horrible feeling that something was wrong with me.  Whenever I left the service six years ago, I had no problem pleasing my girlfriend and my sex life was amazing.  As our relationship crashed I turned to pornography in increasing amounts until I simply could not get off without it.  Our relationship fell apart and in my depression the habit got worse and worse.  As I gained all my weight back that I lost in the military I could not get a girlfriend which made the habit even worse.  I began to notice after a few years that I was exhibiting symptoms of sexual dysfunction.  I determined to get back in an exercise routine because I thought that my obesity was the source of the problem.  While it did make me feel better, I noticed that I still was not able to maintain an erection for very long, my libido dropped and my mind would wander during sex.  Within the past two months I have managed to hook up with two women that I like very much...unfortunately I had to revert to manual methods to please them and I made several excuses...the first time blaming it on the alcohol, the second time blaming it on not feeling well.  This happened last night with a woman I would very much like to date.  Unfortunately I could not maintain an erection and afterward I got online and began frantically looking for ways to get Viagra and I stumbled upon this forum.  Right now I am in my office reading your testimonies holding back tears (at least I'm man enough to admit) because I know I'm not the only one.  I haven't looked at P in about 3 days and am in that awkward no libido stage many of you are describing...but I honestly think reading this thread has changed my life.  I'm swearing of PM, because I'm ready to have control of my sex life again.  I don't know who you people are but thank you.  I have been living in a world of degenerating worry and self insufficiency due to my dependence on P, but never did anything about it because I did not realize it was the enemy.  Thank you.  Wish me luck.
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Congratulations on taking that first step. Things are only going to get better from here, believe that my friend. It will not be an easy journey, but you will succeed. It seems to me that everybody on here has had some level of success, because hey, we are men, and deep in our brain, sex is priority #1.

You are going to have some down days too, but nothing as bad as you felt when you didn't know what was wrong with you. The main thing to remember is that you are shooting for a goal. Visualize it in your head, and if you slip up, don't beat yourself up over it, just get back on that horse and keep riding. Many people here like to count the days they have abstained from the P/and or M, and if they screw up they see it as starting over at day 1. In my mind, you should view the recovery process as a cumulative GPA. Failing one quiz isn't going to destroy your overall success.

Lastly, do not be afraid to come here and tell all, and ask for anything. This is a place where you can say anything, and none of us is in a position to judge.

Cheers.
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I really need to vent and this seems like the place to do it. I'm a 25 year old guy who's had a few sexual partners but mainly one night stands. I have masterbated regularly, primarily because I've never had a steady girlfriend and also out of habit. I have never climaxed through intercourse alone in the 5 years I've been sexually active. I can keep an erection but intercourse just doesn't finish me off. Tonight I slept with a girl for the first time and I just couldn't climax. It was unbelievably frustrating and reading websites talking about 'partner counselling' etc just depressed me. After all I don't have a partner that I can go to these things with. Especially not someone in their 20s that Ive known a month or so.

So I am going to pray and not watch P or M for the next month. I have spent the entire night being incredibly upset about the whole thing and looking for options to read things like 'there is no medication that works' and other stuff. But this thread has given me a bit of hope and I am thankful for that. It's 5am and after reading this I will finally be able to get some sleep.
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By combining my own experiences with those of the other men on this board I have formed a hypothesis about the differences in the causes of ED and delayed ejaculation. It is my opinion that intense visual stimulation--i.e. pornography and the tendency for viewers to seek out increasingly graphic content, causes the inability to even achieve the erection. Your brain is simply unphased and unexcited by the naked girl before you. There is simply not enough signal from the brain to tell your body it's boner time.

However, and again this is just my hypothesis, if you are able to achieve that erection but you simply do not achieve orgasm, then the problem may lie with the way in which you masturbate. I personally had to change my technique over the last year and a half, as I realized that I was squeezing my penis much too tight, and also rubbing and squeezing my glans (head) far too much. If this is the case, then no vagina will ever be able to match that intensity and sensation. Your nerve endings are simply accustomed to a much higher level of sensation.

Now of course the porn viewing is also likely a contributing factor to your inability to achieve orgasm, but this may also be a good time to reevaluate the fashion in which you "love yourself."

Check this site for more info:  www.healthystrokes.com

Cheers
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Okay, so I'm 4 weeks in but I'm getting more and more horny and I'm curious to know the results. I was watching a movie on netflix that did have some softcore T and A but and I did get an erection thinking about it but I was hoping for something harder. I feel like I need a real stimuli. I'm so tempted to watch P

But 4 weeks of no PMO. I'm know I can beat this. God help me
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My gal is too heavy and I'm not a missionary kinda person...actually more of a chivalry types.So I think masturbation is better than sad sex.wht say?
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So Im beyond help? I thought abstaining and changing my technique could help...
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I notice there are a lot of guys out there going several weeks without M & P and are experiencing a lot of anxiety about hooking up with a girl for the first time.  I can tell you from experience that you can abstain for a year and still not get it up due to the pressure you put on yourself.  Thinking about how you're going to perform is enough to distract you from being aroused and has nothing to do with how long you abstained.  For myself, I have found salvation through Viagra.  I buy the largest pill and cut it into quarters.  I find when I take a quarter of the pill it really makes me hard.  It works so well for me, especially in conjunction with abstaining from M.  However, on the occasions when I was nervous, usually the first time being with a girl, even Viagra didn't help me.  I usually have to try a couple times before I can relax and just do what comes natural.
Anxiety kills all happiness and sex drive.  So don't be too discouraged if you hook up with a girl for the first time and you don't get hard.  Your body can be totally functional, but your mind is not playing along.  I find that taking Viagra adds some assurance since I know it works. All I have to do is teach my mind to relax, and focus on the beautiful girl laying in bed with me.
I plan on keeping my commitment to no PM and just focus all my attention on the sexy girlfriend.  Eventually I will wean myself off of Viagra by taking less and less.  
Just remember that if you think abstaining isn't working, don't jump to conclusions and think your junk isn't working properly.  Sex is primarily in your brain. Do not over think the sex act.  It's very primal.  There's not a lot to think about other than how much you want to nail this girl.  Fear will kill all that.  Control your fear and if you need a pill to help you out temporarily then go for it. Cheers.
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My point exactly. With a change in both your viewing habits and how you "choke your monkey," you should easily be able to have normal, healthy, headboard-breaking sex. It worked for me :D
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I second everything you sad. Anxiety is a huge killer, which can make this porn-induced ED a huge issue. You fail to function once or twice, and then you are thinking about it every single time, and you think yourself soft.

The truth of the matter is that when our bodies "fight or flight" mechanism is engaged, many of your body's functions are shut down because they are not needed for immediate survival. Some of these systems include digestion, immune, and guess what... reproductive organs! Shocker right? To the primal part of your brain, there is no difference between noticing a tiger stalking you in the jungle and worrying about financial stresses, a big meeting, or failing miserably with that lady.

Just take a deep breath and enjoy the company of the (hopefully) gorgeous lady next to you.
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I am 47 years old, married with two children.  I have been jerking since I was 9 years old, almost every day of my life.  I have always been extremely horny.  Of course at 9 it just felt good. At 10 or 11 my 'porn' was nude African ladies in Nat Geo Magazine.  At 12 we got cable and I was able to jerk to fuzzy images and sounds of late night soft core movies.  Then I would steal Penthouse magazines from the local drugstore and jerk in the woods.  Occasionally I would find other kids hardcore magazines in the school woods and use them.   At 14 I took the bus into Times Square (when it was still REALLY sleazy) while my parents were at work.  Brought home some really hardcore European magazines which my mom found and was not happy about.  At around 16 I would rent porn VHS tapes and sneak in late night sessions after my parents went to sleep.  In college I was almost porn free in the dorms and I was getting laid so much it didn't matter.  After I got my own apartment, I would jerk to hardcore magazines.  Graduated in '89 and lived with a friend.  I would jerk in my room to all hours watching VHS tapes.  Even 20+ years ago I would mainly use ***shot compilation tapes because I needed rapid fire, hardcore images to really get me going.  In '95 I got married and then would use still images downloaded from the internet on a dial-up modem.  Again, mostly just ****jobs and ***shots.  Through DSL, then high speed cable came the wonders of video.  Now I have a 50GB per mo. newsgroup subscription and I waste tons of time downloading porn.  I am always searching for something new and I rarely watch anything twice unless it is exceptional.  I work from home, mainly on my computer, so needless to say this is not productive.

Sex with my wife of 16 years (and girlfriend of 7 yrs before that) went from a couple of times a week when we first married, to once a month a few years into it, to a few times a year for the past two years.  She is very good at oral and can get me hard for the first 10-15 minutes (usually).  Once I start intercourse is when things go downhill.  I rarely am hard enough to put it in lately.  If I do I go soft within 2 minutes.  I try to think of hardcore porn images in my head until I literally get a headache.  Then we just stop.  I feel awful and she is unsatisfied and thinks I am not interested in her anymore.

I love my wife very much and she REALLY used to turn me on.  Now I'm pretty sure that I couldn't do it with one of the young porn stars I so frequently toss off to.   In the past two months I have suddenly lost ALL of my libido.  I mean just a couple of years ago I was horny like a monkey.  I am going for a physical next week and I'm going to get tested for testosterone levels.  I was convinced that this is my problem until I stumbled upon yourbrainonporn.com and now I think differently.  Further internet searching brought me to this forum and now I am realizing what (I think) is the problem.

I have not masturbated in 15 days, mainly because I have no desire to.  Recent orgasms to porn have been less than intense and end with a dribble.  I used to shoot like Peter North.  I realize that some of this is due to age, but 47 is not 70.  After reading all of your inspiring words as well as info about dopamine on the website listed above, I am abstaining from PM.  I do not know where this leads but it can't get any worse so I'll give it a try.  Thank you all for putting your stories out there.  At least I'm not alone.
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139792 tn?1447663565
you may google Male deer exercise. It is worth treal. It claims results in two weeks or a month. It is from Taoist yoga.
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Guyz...i have also been a victim of PMO and low libido.
i remember the first time i had sex with a girl, and i was very very disappointed. i thought maybe it was because i was nervous. i talked to my friends about it n they also told me that it was normal. couple of sex later i began to worry about my sex life. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me.
i realized that my ***** would get hard when it gets rubbed by my hand. i stopped for a week, then had sex, but still didn't help. I see ppl stop it for 60 days WOW
i went to a sex shop, and bought a fleshlight (artificial vagina) and instead of using my hand, i got into a habit of only using that if i want to M once a week.
I tell you, mysex life is really improving since my brain is getting use to the feeling of a women's ****
you guys should try it and tell me what you think.
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Thanks alot, man, I really appreciate the encouragement.  I'm on day six and I'm still in that wierd no libido stage but oddly enough I feel better about a lot of other things.  I told the girl I'm seeing about it and she was very understanding, we're gonna go hit up the bars when I get off work.

Keep up the fight guys.  All you high numbers no PMO guys inspire me.  Power through.  
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I am so happy that I found this page ... I'm 16 years old and I've practically masturbated everyday for the past 3-4 years. I've always dated girls that have been a couple to a few years older than me, and were always far more keen to go farther sexually than I ever was. Whenever it would come to the point where we were making out or she was touching my ****, I would start shaking nervously and never get any sexual enjoyment out of it and would always just want to get out of the situation as quickly as I possibly could. Even just grinding behind a girl at a concert I would feel nothing and was never sexually aroused. Being a boy, the thought of this scared me and I felt isolated compared to my friends who were always going on about how good it feels when you get it on with a girl. I've always wondered what was wrong with me and why I'm so different from everyone else, and the problem has always been at the back of my mind for years, giving me little to no motivation to even try going after a girl due to the fact that the same uncomfortable feeling would arise whenever we would try anything sexually. Now, I can honestly say my mind is put at ease knowing that excessive masturbation to porn is to blame. So thankful that I found this page, if I didn't I can only imagine how much longer I would have been suffering, this is gonna save me from so many unwanted awkward moments, getting with girls is going to be so much more satisfying, I can only imagine. I'm definitely going to bring this up with some close friends of mine, no matter how awkward it may be, just to save them the suffering just incase they are going through the same thing I am, and I recommend that you all do the same as well, you never know who isn't informed about all this, and how much it would help them out as well.
Also, on a complete separate note, I've never masturbated "normally" like I suppose most people do, by jerking your hand back and forth. I've always pressed down harder and harder on my penis with my hand, until I orgasm. Does anyone else experience this the same way, is this anything to be worried about?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
okay I started having sexual thoughts from looking at a simple lingerae picture. I haven't experience this in years. I haven't look at porn for maybe a month and a half now. Having sexual thoughts from a picture shows a huge accomplishment. To me, that is consider normal but all the time I've been looking at porn, looking at a lingerae picture would have not excited me one bit. smh...
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Spend time here:

www.healthystrokes.com
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wow I'm do glad I found this site. thanks all for your help with this problem.
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Wow this is a big problem for a lot of men out there.
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OK here's my story/confession. A lot of the posts are from younger guys here's the perspective of a geezer. I'm 54 and married but have only had sex with my wife, over the last 14 years (pretty much since my second child was born), maybe 20 times. Yeah, a few times per year at first, then lately once every year or two. Most everything else in the relationship is ok, and my parents split up so I'm not really in a hurry to run out. So I've managed mostly with PMO. Let's be honest, as far as filling a need, it's awesome. You get to control everything. And with the internet, with everything categorized, etc. geesh. No wonder it screws you up. It's just too good. A real drug alright.
So I came across this website tonight researching my ED. How I found I had ED, is that a couple years ago this extremely hot woman at my work, who lives out of state, showed some interest in me on a biz trip. I'd never been unfaithful but at that point I was ready to say 'screw it' (no pun intended) and get her in the sack if she was willing. Several biz trips of playing and teasing, and it finally happened. She was heavenly. About 35 and in awesome shape. I couldn't get it up. Chance of a lifetime, a total letdown. Turned out to be my last chance with her, last night of the trip and then she quit that job shortly afterwards.
That was a couple years ago and I didn't sweat the ED thing too much, it's not like I'm out there scheming to cheat, that thing was just too perfect to pass up.
But another thing I've grown fond of is the massage deal. Never had a problem, it's 99% of the time just manual, and lots of variety, so its a lot like PMO, just a live version I think. Couple times though it went farther (FS if you know what I mean), but when the condom came out it was shrinkage city.
I started thinking it was guilt, which could be part of it. Although the last year or so, I've been very candid with my SO, telling her if we don't start having some regular, normal sex life I am going to end up looking elsewhere. Not that I want to divorce, but that I need a willing partner, and have a feeling I am going to act on it. I guess it's a midlife thing, but I am starting to feel my own mortality coming on, and feeling the urge to live each day as my last (especially since my brother passed last year, at 58). Time's to the wastin' as they say.
Over the last few weeks I've found a really nice massage practitioner who it turns out, seems to really have a thing for me. She's done some very special things for me, beyond massage, and swears up and down I'm the only one she's done this for. (We've met outside her place of employment, and there's been no condom involved, lots of kissing, etc., so if she's not that innocent she sure is a good liar).
First time oral, no problem. Totally surprised me, awesome experience. Next time, home run. I didn't last too long, it's only been about 5 years since I've felt a vagina for gosh sakes, but it was great success.
After that one, we had to talk. She agreed to meet me outside of work. We shared our life stories and situations. OK so now it looks like I have a GF.
I went to see her today, which was awesome until disaster struck. I was about 3/4 hard when it was clear she wanted the full meal deal again, even though she had warned me she couldn't do that at work again as they don't allow it and she could get fired. So it caught me off guard, I couldnt stay hard.
So I've been researching ED since then. But it seems Viagra will only help physical problems. My circulation is excellent, normal blood pressure, athletic/active, etc., plus I get raging erection with myself. I don't think that's it. Could be guilt, pressure of having a 'real' relationship with someone else, but I'm really close to disclosing all of this to my SO, and I'm ok with it, so I don't think that's it either.
But then I came across this site, and it really rings true with me. I rarely miss a day of MPO, even when I'm not particularly horny, I'll make myself get that way after some good porn.
I swear though, that s*** is over. Wish me luck. I want to give my new GF what she wants, and needs, and deserves. I'll even let my wife have it if she wants it!
Wish me luck.
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Ok guys been gone for awhile, trying to stay out of trouble.

Anyway I've been trying to stay off porn but its been hard. I'm 210 pound and 5 feet 9 inches tall, so I'm overweight by 60 pounds. This 60 pounds of fat is taking my 6.5 to 7 inch **** and dragging it down to a mere 5 inches or so when erect, and even less when flaccid.

With that being said I cant really face a situation with a girl sexually because even if they dont say it women judge you by your **** when it comes time for sex.

So being a virgin I've been looking for someone to help teach me what I need to do for sex. Because everything merged together, my overweight and out of shape body, my porn desensitization, and my being a virgin, has all mixed together to make it where I'm floundering at sex.

I found a great girl who's a friend of mine and she agreed to let me have sex with her and teach me what I need to know. Sadly she doesnt know about my porn problem and I dare not tell her. She's the type that wouldnt "get it" if I did and she'd judge me on that fact because she(like most women) think a man can get hard whenever he wants and we all want to have sex all the time with anything that moves. She'd take it personally and I dont want her to drop the offer of her having sex with me.

So this was yesterday or so, she wants to do this in 2-3 weeks and I might be able to postpone it for a month but dont think she'll take no for an answer after that.But I'm uncomfortable with my weight and the way my body looks. I'm uncomfortable with my small penis size at the moment due to the weight, and I just fell off the wagon again and masturbated the day she offered the idea was just hot to me.

So what should I do? Swear off the porn cold turkey and no masturbation between then and now? Hope that 3-4 weeks is enough time to marginally get my mind where I need to be? Work out in the meantime? Diet?

I REALLY dont want to miss this opportunity. I feel like if I can just have sex one good time, even remotely that I'll be good to go. I'll have something to look forward to, to strive for, and everything will be better.

Keep me in your prayers guys.
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Hey dude,

I'm glad you're here and recognize the problem that PM is causing in your life.  I have been in your exact same situation.  While I managed to lose some of the weight (I thought THAT is what caused my ED) everything was still not working.  As of RIGHT NOW, you should swear of PM, but not for her.  If your body and mind can recover in 2-3 weeks or a month, that's absolutely great (everyone is different and it depends how long you've been desensitizing yourself) but if you can't recover in time and it's an ED shitshow, that's OK.  If she's your friend then she should "get it".  Recently I told the woman I am involved with (who is also a wonderful friend that I care very much about) about this, she was very understanding but if she wasn't, I determined to continue this journey because it is about me, my overall health, and my being a man, and much bigger than some girl that's going to judge me for a legitimate problem that really takes a toll on you.  If you recover and get work done ;) then that's great man...if you don't, then (as hard as it may be) forget about her.  This is bigger than her...this is about controlling your life, and if she's a friend it shouldn't be a prob.  Keep it going, man.  Power through.  Look at the scores and scores of men here like you that understand and swear off the PMO.
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Hey man, if you are serious about losing your weight, then this is probably the easiest and quickest way to do it. I've never fasted as long as these guys, but this should give you some inspiration:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/289122/fat-sick-and-nearly-dead
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Matt come on man, i don't mean to sound harsh but you've been posting on this forum for months and months now...lots of people have given you advice and you know exactly what you need to do!  Absolutely quit with the porn, start exercising and eating right. You're totally psyching yourself out here. Getting healthy will do wonders for your confidence and that's exactly what you need to go along with the abstinence.  You're not gonna look like a body builder in a few weeks but even if you lose 15-20 pounds you'll feel great about it and you'll want to keep losing more.

You can do this buddy, no more relapsing.  You're no different than any other guy here that's beat this, you just have to take charge of your life and do it!  3-4 weeks might not be long enough so judge that by how you feel...if you're not ready put it off for another month. You WILL get there with time.

Believe in yourself man, you can totally overcome this, no doubt
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relapsing such a pain in the ***. back on day 8 now. really going for it this time. Trying to think not in terms of days but in terms of how many cravings I can beat. Only had 1 properly strong one in the whole 8 days, and beating it felt really good. On a kind of unrelated note, theres a girl out my school I want to ask out. I'm just waiting for the right moment, but I'm not sure if she'll say yes or not. any thoughts/tips? especially on how this links in with the PMO problem?
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I'm 50 myself, on marriage no. 2, and have been dependent on PMO probably since I got my first Penthouse at 14.  I'm in good shape for my age (I'm beginning to loathe that phrase) and exercise regularly.  Masturbation was a problemm in my firs t marriage and has become a problem in my marriage now.  I've tried many times to quit, but without success.  I never considered that maybe porn was the problem.

I've long wondered if my PMO habit was a response to problems with my marriages (e.g., she's being a B----- and rejecting my advances, so I'll just take care of myself) vs. an actual addiction/escape.  I think it was the former for many years, which isn't good for my relationships, but with the advent of the Internet it has morphed into addiction.

I have sex with my wife about once per year.  Our relationship has been rocky for quite some time, with both of us feeling unappreciated and rejected by the other.  We have always had trouble communicating, and having kids made the difficulties 1000 times worse.  We were/are great together as a couple, but lousy together as parents.  

The turning point for me was when I got an iPad last month.  I have sleep apnea and my wife complains about the noise that the respirator makes, so I started sleeping in the other room.  When I got the iPad (I think that it should have been called the "iPorn")  I found myself awake for hours at a time during the middle of the night, surfing and jerking.  I recognized that I had to keep flipping to new images and edging in order to keep the bolts of pleasure coming.  I woke exhausted, but hard and needing to *** again.  I was having 5-6 orgasms each day.   My mind was foggy, I was tired, depressed, irritable and disengaged from everyone.

Last month my wife and I went away and celebrated our anniversary.  For the first time in literally 2 years, we had two days and nights to ourselves and didn't argue about the kids.  I usually (if you can call once a year usual) have trouble climaxing during sex with my wife and have to resort to fantasies about porn in order to get over the top.  I had abstained from PMO for a couple of days prior to the trip, so I came without difficulty.  For once, I was actually in the moment.  It was great, and healing.

Back at home, I returned to my old habit.  I felt the haze descend on my brain and the distance appearing again between me my wife.  The memory of our weekend getaway was so recent, I realized that something was seriously wrong and that maybe, just maybe my porn habit had something to do with it.  I found the Cupid's Poisoned Arrow Psychology Today site and started reading.  Wow.  

I have vowed to give up porn and threw out my stash of magazines this weekend.  I need to get control over the computers now.  I leave the iPorn and my smartphone locked in the trunk of my car at night do I can't get to them, but that's a stopgap.

I am going to try to give up porn without giving up masturbation because that seems much more achievable.  I've tried and failed to give up masturbating many times in the past.  Rather than set myself up for failure again, I'm going to kick the porn habit and see what that does for my libido and brain.  After 5 days without a single look at porn I've noticed that I'm not as horny and that masturbating without porn is both more difficult and isn't as pleasurable as using porn.  So I'm hoping that kicking porn will reduce my libido to a normal level, reduce my dependency on masturbation,  restore my passion for my wife, kids, nature and music--all things I once enjoyed immensely and that gave meaning to my life.  It's a tall order, but I'm optimistic that I'll at least be able to think clearly and deal with my other challenges once I clear away the PMO-induced coma I've been living in.
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"Do you want to hang out some time?"

You're in school, so I am assuming HS or college. It's pretty much that easy. Girls wanna get down just as much as you do. Treat them like it's no big deal, and don't try too hard.
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ive known PMO has been a problem of mine for years. I was 12 when the scrambled porn flickered to life on my bedroom tv. My masturbation life started with hardcore porn. I am turning 27 this week. I have had more problems with porn throughout my life than i care to admit. When i was in HS i had a hot gf and we had awesome sex from 17-21ish. We broke up and i met e new girl a few months latter, had what i thought was an alchohol induced ED, it ended up taking 2 more times to get hard and have sex with her but from there our sex was amazing and very frequent..she was gorgeous and petite. After i broke up with her though is where my story really starts.

Even though i had been into PMO all those years i was with those 2 girls i was still have very hot regular sex so it was never a problem. What happend though is my social circle went their ways and i was single and lonely for a few years. I used PMO everyday to keep me going, i needed more and more hardcore scenes to get me off. this summer i took a girl home from the bar and could not get it up, she came home with me 2 other times, the third time i woke up in the morning horny made out with her and we had sex...it was only like 10mins but it was good and i felt great.

Its been a few months since then and was still single and lonely so the PMO continued. Recently i have met a wonderinful and beautiful girl and we have been dating for 3 weeks. She is very affectionate and really likes sex and foreplay but in an innocent, classy, girl next store type of way. She has been staying over a lot and we have been fooling around but i can not maintain my erection. She gives me great bjs and i go soft after a few minutes. Same when she jerks me off.

She said she was finally ready for sex this weekend and we tried a couple times. I finally got it in but was only semi hard. It is weied i get hard when we are making out, petting and dry humping but the time between dray humping/making out and getting it in her i lose it?

But anyway i got it in and was in there for maybe 30secs and I came! I have had ed problems but never pre mature problems! We tried later that day again and i could not get hard enough, or more precisely by the time i got her panties off and my boxers off i had lost it.

I find myself very anxious about it and over thinking it. My mind wanders durring foreplay and i am constantly thinking about keeping it hard and getting it up. So far we have been very open with each
other and i told her i was anxious and just thinking too much.

I get erections in the mornig when she is in bed with me and we start fooling around and I lose them after a few minutes.

We spend about 5 nights a week together and i do not ejaculate when we are together obviously so the 2 nights she is not here i crave and go after PMO.

I know now after reading a lot here that it is a combonation of excessive porn, jerking to hard and prone masturbating before bed since i was young. I always prone masturbated before bed to help me sleep but i still masturbate conventionally but can only do it to porn.

So here i am airing out my issues with you guys and gals. I am cuTTing out pmo.  i REALLY LIKE THIS GIRL in fact I think she might be THE girl and I want to have a complete relationship with her.

My PMO obsession has taken me down some dark roads, some I may feel confident sharing here one day but not now.  I know this will be  tough and i even admit with my issues it may require professional help, but I will conquer this. I will make a point to come back here every night to check in on everyone and let you know how I am doing.

Tomorrow is day 1.

Sorry my story is so long and the typos and poor writing..its late and im tired haha.
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I feel like finding this forum has the potential to improve my life exponentially. I am 28 years old and have been told I am very good looking by MANY girls yet I have never been in a relationship. My main problem is I cannot keep an erection which therefore hinders my confidence level significantly. I discovered online porn probably around the age of 15. I vividly recall being super turned on at first and I was instantly addicted. Since then, I have probably only masturbated without porn a few times. Over the years, I slowly started watching more and more graphic content just like others have said. It has gotten to the point where its really hard for me to find anything that even turns me on anymore and sometimes I have to search through videos for up to a couple of hours just to find something that does. I also have the problem where I have to grip really hard just to get myself off. Almost every time I am with a girl I can only get hard by masturbating and then just go limp when we start to have sex. Also pretty  much every time this happens the girl always feels like its her fault and this makes me feel even worse about the situation. Recently I have had quite a few girls that were very into me lose interest because I was so worried about not being able to get an erection that I didn't try to advance anything. I have been soooooooo ******* unbelievably depressed by this entire situation. I am committed 100% to not watching porn anymore as of this moment. I have already deleted all 50+ gigs of it on my computer and I am feeling extremely optimistic about getting over this. I am so happy that I found this forum and feel like I finally have some kind of control over my problem. Thanks to you all.
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Welcome, and let the recovery begin.

I will say, however, that perhaps eating crayons has something to do with your ED...
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Way to go on that first step man, I'm on day 10 now and I'm starting to feel a lot better.  I sometimes have anxious spells.  The other night my best friends and I came over to my house to watch Walking Dead and Boardwalk Empire ('cause they're awesome shows), after they left and we went out to smoke I came into HBO playing a porn on late night.  I was almost overcome with that sensation (you know the one) and I loudly yelled, "Nope!" and turned off the TV.  The girl who's been staying over at my house came over last night and I explained to her fully what was going on and she was OK with it and we just hung out and fell asleep together.  Sometimes I feel pretty ****** but anytime I get down I just remember how important this is to improving my entire life.  Keep it going, man.  Don't get discouraged.  This is no PMO day 10, let's keep this up, people.  KeepYourHeadUp....nice joke, lol.
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This its my first post in here...ive been reading for a couple of days now and what made me find this forum was the break up with my GF.

The first time we had sex it was great but then everytime (like 4 times) when i was about to stick...my penis was going limp.

the 3rd time we tried i hiddely looked at some P to get erected and it worked a lil bit..what i mean is that i wasnt fully erected. after the 3rd time of trying we waited for 2 weeks to try again...during those 2 weeks i watched P like 3 or 2 times per week.

i thought it wasnt a big deal but it was. i couldnt do it. she felt like i didnt like her and thought it was her fault. i tried to explain her but she said i was making excuses. i really loved her but i made her suffer, i also feel horrible and now im trying to change my life for good.

im going to the gym now and stopped PM since november 4th...and im not planning to look back, i still have those scenes in my head but my will to save my sex life is stronger, thats why ill accomplish the 8 weeks without M or PM...Then ill slowly try to get my sex life back....
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Why don't u try getting your girl back by admitting you had PM problem before you met her? Besides that, if it was really meant for yall to be together then yall be together or get back... Now that you know what the true problem is, it's time to fix it.
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I am a married woman who is hooked on porn also.  My husband have told me about his addiction to porn of which he have over come but I have never share my engaging in watching porn to masturbate. I have tried several times to stop.  I have even find myself looking at some things that are beyond a normal male with a female encounter.  Now I am on holidays alone and the urges come and I end up touching myself and then feeling guilty after.  One the days that I don't I feel like I have the power to stop and then come my weakness...
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No one has answered this question for me and I've posted it several times. PLEASE respond.

At times when I ejaculate the muscle behind my testicle to my anus cramps up. (might be the PC muscle) And/or I feel pain at the base of my penis. Both at the point of ejaculation. Ive gotten many tests done, all say I'm perfectly fine. A lot of my symptoms are those of prostatis...is there a way this could have been missed by doctors? Im in my early 20's. The most I've gone without masturbation is 2 weeks. I'm on day 6 right now. I really feel like I'm going to make the entire 8 weeks if not 90 days this time. Somethings just different than the past many times I tried to stop. I've had symptoms of weak erections for 2 years. I'm pretty sure that its porn induced
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to add... the pain doesn't seem to be a problem with the rest of you so i'm not sure if my case is different
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22 days and everything feels better here by the third week.

On day 16 I had wet dream with a nightly emission, the first in many years, and I see this as strong sign that my body is working as it is supposed to. However the sad thing; I dreamed that I watched porn, so clearly there is still a devil inside me...

I haven't thought much about porn and during the days and I have no desire or need to see it. Previously I saw P and M as a daily routine, and I don't understand that at all anymore...

Generally I feel more relaxed and happier about a lot of things now and regarding my ED I definitely see some improving signs. This week I have had morning wood 5 out of 7 days

At day 18 I simply had to M just to know that things were working down there in order to calm my self. I woke up with an erection and masturbated during the shower. It felt pretty weird to masturbate in a standing position, using only my left hand, only ligth strokes, and only fantasizing about real girls. All 4 things completely new to me :) Anyways, it worked and the orgasm was good, but also kind of normal... However, my semen was so much thicker and more deep white than normal

Stopping the bad habits have improved my life quality significantly and I for sure see no reason to go back to P ever. I haven't had the option to test things with a girl yet, but if I fail again I won't get to freaked out about it. This path is definitely the right one and my body is working, so if my head needs some more time to adjust to "real life" then thats just the way it is...

For all new readers then these changes are tough and hard to go through, but don't panic about it. My situation was:

25 years:

PMO since young age
Really heavy use of PMO the last year after I broke with my ex
ED problems with girls hereafter
ED problems masturbating
Even ED problems masturbating to porn
No morning erections
Was getting detached socially
Was tired all the time
Was thinking abut porn most of my time


Now:

No need to see porn
Not thinking about porn scenes and they are not filling my head when I try to sleep anymore.
Morning erections are back
More relaxed around others
More socially and funnier
Not so tired anymore... I can now manage to stay awake for even the most boring accounting lectures :)


During the last three weeks I have felt a lot of things:

Complete lack of confidence
Depressed
Random anxiety
Some days I have been so freaked out about this situation that I have even had problems just eating
Problems sleeping

These things are however getting easier by now...

Physically I have experienced:

Smaller penis (back to normal now)
At some times cold penis (only happened twice this week)
No libido
No morning erections
No random erections

Regarding the libido issues I think that focusing on this "problem" also affects the libido. You are telling your self constantly that you have a problem and won't be able to perform (and reproduce) which of course affects your mind. Also, insecurity plays a part here. I am pretty sure that if I didn't have any ED thoughts, then my libido would be quite different...


The best of luck to all of you!

    
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right, straight off the bat, I am in no way a medical professional, so what I'm going to say is just an opinion. but it does sound a bit different. Have you actually mentioned prostatis to the doctors? there might be something about your case that rules it out so completely that  they've just not bothered to mention it.
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Found this site a few days ago.

I'm a 26 year old guy, good looking, with, um, "above average" equipment, and yet I've never really had the hunters instinct with women. I had realized before that I was having a hard time holding an erection for more than a few minutes, even if I was getting head/laid.

When I did get up, it wasn't really that hard.  I've shied away from girls I really had feelings for, because I didn't want them to think less of me, and the odd night with a girl from the bar usually ended up with excuses about the booze.  I've been fapping multiple times a day for probably ten years. Enough is enough.  It got to the point where I was even thinking about buying some black-market Viagra, in case I needed to "impress" (or at least, not disappoint) someone special.  But, like I said, I'm 26, and there is absolutely NO reason I should need a pill to do what guys have been doing naturally for thousands of years.

I've always known porn was a dirty habit, but it was there, and easy, so I never felt the need to change my ways.

So I JUST (in the midst of writing this) deleted my 700GB porn collection (which was more of a museum than anything I actually needed or used).  I'm on Day Three without it, and I feel fine.  I've always looked down on alcoholics and cigarette addicts as weak-willed, now its my turn to put my money where my...... mouth is.  I'm sure that there will be bad things in the next few weeks, but I'm resolute.
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I'm 22 and a addict.  I M more than 3 times a day without any lube. Its starting to ruin my life. I've even been with my girlfriend for almost 4 years but cant seem to C. Today is where I've decided to take a stand and say no more and so today is day one. I've never had a problem with women, if i want them i get them but its just the finishing if you know what i mean. anyone out there who understands?
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I'm 22 and a addict.  I M more than 3 times a day without any lube. Its starting to ruin my life. I've even been with my girlfriend for almost 4 years but cant seem to C. Today is where I've decided to take a stand and say no more and so today is day one. I've never had a problem with women, if i want them i get them but its just the finishing if you know what i mean. anyone out there who understands?
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So is there any research or in anyones personal experience suggesting that there's things we can do to help ourselves get readjusted quicker?

Like activities or foods or supplements that will help the readjusting process?

Like I was reading that Zinc is important for healthy male reproductive organs and in my own experience after taking a Zinc supplement, I was seeing some benefits.

Like I said before in a prior post, I'm laying off the porn forever, I'm on day 3 so far, in hopes that in 2 weeks I'll be atleast on the track to being able to have sex for the first time with my friend I mentioned.

I'd like to be doing as much as possible to help myself along besides no porn and no masturbation.
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day #1 PMO all over again, smh... I now realize there are several things I need to stay away from to achieve this and re-boot my brain. Feel free to add to the list...

1) porn
2) movies with sex scenes
3) sex stories
4) women in lingerae (online advertisement)
5) personal pictures of women with cute faces and nice bodies
6) webcam interraction with pretty women
7) phone sex
8) booty shaking videos on youtube
9) adult chatrooms
10) adult content on worldstarhiphop

Bottom line, there is so much sexual activity on the internet to suck you back in it's ridiculous. For the next 60 days, I'm staying away from all of this because I realize it keeps pulling me back in to M.
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dang man I feel bad for you, starting over at day 1 *****. I think you've hit on the problem though, there is too much sexual material to get away from. Perhaps the secret to success lie in accepting you are never going to get away from it. Then your starting breaking the addiction pathways instead of avoiding them. I'm not saying go looking for things, but don't get obssessed with not seeing any. When you're at the point when you accidentally see an advert or video and can shrug it off instead of wanting a binge you'll be well on the road to a cure.
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I'm on day 9 of no P or M. I went see my GF today, I've been totally open about my porn addiction problem because I wanted to make sure she knows its nothing about her that I can't get/stay erect. But I did want to see if it would work yet, although its only been a week. I was hopeful, as I have had a couple of mild but spontaneous erections this past week. But I was worried it was too soon, after reading others' experience that it takes maybe 8 weeks to start to be 'normal'. So, I went to see the Dr. to get some Cialis. I've never used this stuff, so wasn't sure what to expect. I just looked at it as kind of a 'back-up'. Even though I kept telling myself, don't worry if it doesn't work - it's too soon, I know I would have lost some confidence if I couldn't get hard. So I took it about an hour before I got there. We started to fool around, and I did get good and aroused. Before long, it was rock hard. Yay! We had some nice foreplay for a while, then full intercourse. It felt great! I tried to concentrate on exactly what was happening and not thinking about porn scenes, and trying not to think too much about whether I was fully hard or not (although that was difficult to do). A couple times I felt O coming, a little bit, and I tried to avoid it because I wanted it to last longer. Probably a mistake, because I never could get my O. My erection kind of waxed and waned, I definately felt the Cialis working. Without it, I'm sure if I lost the erection I would have worried and it would have been gone, but this time I just tried to relax, feel what was going on, and it would come back. Especially after I pulled it out, getting soft, and gave her oral while pulling on it a bit. That got me plenty excited, and soon it was rock hard again. I put it back in and we kept at it for a long time, but I was not able to ***. I was a little bummed, but tried to look on the bright side, I was able to f*** that girl for well over 20 min, more or less, and enjoyed every minute of it. Considering it's only been a week after giving up the PM, I was encouraged. Even if I did use the Cialis. I think I may try again next week, same routine, and see what happens. I loved that I could lose it a bit, but then get it back, that's a great advantage. My plan though, is that maybe after 3 or 4 weeks, I'll try without the Cialis. In any case, it's so clear to me now that the PM has messed me up so bad. I've not been tempted at all to return to it, although I do wonder if I can make it another week without an O (especially after the sex today). We'll see.
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I hear you, starting back on day one is a *****! But seriously I think you need a focal point to focus on, something to put your energy into to keep you busy. I'm attempting to lose 60-70 pounds and turn some of that fat into muscle.

But I hear what you're saying. Sex is a huge part of our daily lives, its in everything we have around us, even in things that arent thought to be sexual usually have that as an undertone and you end up having it cross your mind, which isnt good for us.

I mean every song on the radio is about sex, every magazine ad, every commercial seems to have sexual themes, every movie has a line referencing sex, and there's attractive women everywhere.

I mean for me its also the fact that sex is constantly on my mind now with this problem. In some shape or fashion, I'm thinking about sex. Like if I'll ever figure this out, if I'll get erections again, if I'll be able to perform even if they do come back.

And whats worse is, once I see results the sexual thoughts rush back into my head again and I start thinking the what ifs. And I want to rush out and have sex while I'm seeing results and then naked women and sexual fantasies happen while you arent masturbating and quenching that thirst. So you cant get cured 100%.

So yes its just a chore having to go through this. It makes you question your very manhood and if you could ever please a woman.

The best bet is to have something to remind yourself of how you feel at that moment, to remind you of how it makes you feel, to remind you that porn is the enemy and that you need to stay on track lest we all continue to feel this way forever.
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I confirm that cialis does help and work in situations like this. I used it before. However, cialis won't help you if you recently masturbated to porn or if you're too worried about maintaining an erection. Cialis is not more powerful than the brain.

And you were also so suppose to have orgasm during the sex. But since you didn't you might find the urge this week to masturbate because you didn't finish the act and your testicles probably feel a stronger urge to orgasm now. I hope you make it thru the week.
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Hey all,
I am 21yo and appear to be suffering from porn-induced ed. I want to just praise this forum, for it has truly helped me realize my problem and is directing me towards a resolution. Until I discovered this page, I was deeply concerned about myself and could not understand why I could m to porn but not get hard in front of women. At that point I was m to p about once a day on average for a good 3-4 years.

My first truly intimate experience with a girl in high school believe it or not was on prom night and I was unable to get hard. I blamed it on the fact that i was extremely drunk and was not really concerned at that moment of any problems. I figured college was on the way and there would be plenty of opportunities for me then to have fun.

When I got to college at 18, I was able to hook up with several girls in the first few months alone. While I would kiss would them, I would be able to get hard about 50-60% but when it came to the moment of truth in the bedroom, my penis would shrivel up like a frightened turtle. This instance happened to me several times (while dating a girl I really liked as well) and as a result, my confidence level fell to a point so low I even began to question my sexuality. I stopped hitting on girls, broke up with my girlfriend, and would not approach those I found attracting or felt I had an opportunity with for precisely this reason.
Thankfully, I discovered this forum exactly two weeks ago while (ironically) m to porn. I saw an ad about ed on the side of the site and got to thinking, first that I might have ed. Then I wondered why I was able to get hard by myself (albeit only with porn stimuli, never on its own due to physical attraction). I finally put 2 and 2 together and found this forum. I have not m or seen porn for two weeks now, and I woke up this morning to some wood. I've read here that the first two weeks are the toughest and thankfully I have been able to get through it until now. Whenever I have had an urge to m, I turn to this page and read some posts to "sober" up and see the reality. It has worked so far and I am positive in a few weeks my brain will "reset." I have decided to write on this forum to encourage others not to give up. This is a very silent community because you do not hear about this problem at all in the media, but it is important to voice your problems and show solidarity with others.
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F**K Damn it!
I just PMOed after 14 days sober.
Tomorrow will be Day 01.

How do you guys manage to be sober for at least 30 days or more?
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Hey everyone

I relapsed a few days ago, just M no P, Im on day 4 or 5 at the moment. Ive heard people say that it helps when you don't count the days, just think about something else, and take your mind off it all. That way your not constantly looking down at the ground and getting an idea of how far it is to fall.

I really understand that feeling people have been talking about, the fog, that numbing that overcomes your brain when you M. Lately I've been able to think a lot clearer about things in general. But socially things arnt so great, I've been going out but my confidence is just gone. Last night I couldn't sleep at all. I was tossing and turning all night being paranoid about my complete lack of feeling down there. I've lost my libedo, and it feels crap. Still, at least I don't have a longing to M or watch P. This forum is helping get through it all, thank you so much you guys.
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today was a hard day. had a 3 hour nap and sort of went through that phase between wake and sleep where you don't know what the hell you're doing. Thankfully, I didn't O, but the few hours between then and now, I was fighting cravings all the way. Can't remember if it was on this forum but I read that it's like you're different drives are out of sync: I was mentally really aroused but that wasn't translating physically. Anyway what snapped me out of it was talking to one of the prettiest girls at my school on fb. Never really spoken to her before, but i had a reason to and the conversation that followed made me so thankful that I'd fought it. I realised that, hey, I was doing the right thing, and that girls respect guys who aren't into PMO. I couldn't have had that conversation if I was feeling guilty about MO'ing. I'm on day 16, and i've fought down 2 strong cravings. keep strong everybody.
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Hey thanks for the reply. Yep, you're right. I can tell the Cialis is still working, just a little rub through my pants and I'm still rockin. Still thinking about my experience on Sunday too, and it puts a smile on my face even tho I didn't finish. Last night it got to me, and I was curious you know, so I went for it. M/O but no P. Big finish. I don't feel too bad about it though, since I didn't get to finish the other day with my GF. And it was nothing to do with P, just keepin it real. I also remember, from time to time, how I used to M at different times...in the shower, alone in bed, spontaneously over a random thought...without P. Before P became a daily habit. Now it seems impossible to M without P. After taking the Cialis tho, it's been like those old days. So that really gives me somehting to look forward to, when I'm off the P for a good while, and not on the Cialis either. I don't intend to make a habit out of that...it's just a temp 'physical' boost to help get my confidence back - I hope!
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Hi all!

I am 27 yrs old & have the habbit of P&M for as long as I remember. I started bed-rubbing since I was very young. For some years I am having some serious problems. I no longer get morning erections & my libido is nonexistent. I am severely depressed & tense.

I accidentally stumbled upon this page & am so relieved to find that I am not the only one facing such problems. I am glad to know what P&M can do to some one. I knew it deep down but every time I would read an article somewhere, all I would read that masturbation is healthy & can have no adverse effects on normal health. Now I know that those so called experts were pathetically wrong.I have decided to stay off masturbation for 2 months.

I have tried it before but was scared of the developments. I wouldn't have any drive & no morning erections either. So, out of frustration, I would turn to P&M to prove to myself that everything is fine down there.

However, after reading a few blogs here I am really enlightened to know that these are normal things that follow once you let go a very old addiction.

I am now hopeful that I would gradually overcome the urge & be mentally & physically healthy pretty soon.
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Hi all,

I just want to share my story and plan with everyone, hopefully it helps some of you.

At the age of 12 I started humping the floor, I'd lay down and rock my body up and down until I came (sounds funny, I know). I did this until I was 21, yes 21! I was so ashamed of this, but every time I tried to masturbate normally it wouldn't work. I'd go limp and get bored.

This way of getting off didn't effect my sex life though, well it did, but my problem was better than the current one (ED). I lost my virginity at 18, but no matter how long I went I couldn't reach ejaculation. Me and my girl had sex for close to two hours, until we both were sore and bored. I never came, in fact--I've never came during sex.

I think it was the way I trained myself to get off for all those years. The way I beat my floor humping ways was I just said enough one day. I stopped, and just started doing it normal, over and over again. It took a couple of weeks of trying daily, but it worked. I could finally masturbate normally.

Now I've been doing it the normal way for four years, and watching lots of porn. I said I lost my virginity at 18, well that was the only time I had sex (multiple times with the same girl). So I was without it for almost seven years.

Just recently I tried to have sex with the same girl (we're back together after being apart since high school), and I can't keep an erection. When I do get hard, it goes limp as soon as I'm inside. Also to get hard I have to start stroking my penis, it won't get hard just from looking at her naked. This is the case with any naked woman.

I think this comes from porn and masturbation. First, I've seen too much crazy porn, and now naked women do nothing for me. I swear, a supermodel could stand naked in front of me and I wouldn't get an erection.

Now the going soft once I'm inside is probably from the way I jack off. I clench my penis pretty hard around the base, and I don't use lube (tons of friction). So a normal wet vagina doesn't make it excited, thus I go soft.

I don't want to be this way, so I haven't jacked off or watched porn in over a week and I plan on keeping it that way until the beginning of 2012.

I'll hardly ever watch porn again, and when I start to masturbate again it won't be with my hand. Here's my plan to retrain my penis, I'm going to use a Fleshlight (no advertising here, just an idea that I came up with).

I figure this is better than using my hand since it's more like a woman's parts (I know it's not exactly the same). I'm going to use lube and a condom so I can get it as close to the real thing as possible. I'll do this twice a week until I start to love the way it feels and be able to ejaculate without any problems.

I figure this should be easier than trying now since I'll have been without my hand love for two months by then. I retrained 8 years of floor humping, so four years of jacking off shouldn't be too hard, right?

I'll keep you guys informed.
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Any tips on what to do when the strong urge comes...?
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hey nice and helpful comment
i jst want to discuss with u is that i m perfectly fine untill last 110 to 12 days its just come in ma mind that ma penis wont stand
it does stnad wen i watch porn or masterbate bt with gal it just floppy before inter course
i was scared and depressed and it worse the situation and now wen i watch pron it hardly stand
what possibly should i do condersing i ll b married after 2 to 3 month
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Hey guys, I'm back,

I now have 19 tacks on my office wall...one for each day I have gone without P&M.  The girl that I really like that I couldn't perform for over two weeks ago came over again.  At first I was nervous and had a hard time getting going.  All of a sudden it just happened and we went twice at night and twice the next morning...each time actually getting more intense than the last.  I didn't think it would happen and I started to doubt if this would even work but I'm telling you guys...THIS WORKS.  It doesn't feel like its working and you lose libido because you've damaged your brain so much but keep trucking along....I can feel my body and mind repairing a little more each day.  Take this testimony, it works.  Keep with it guys...I was only on day 19 for some it may take longer...power through guys there is a light at the end of the tunnel. :)

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1828226 tn?1323568848
so I wonder is the problem watching porn or masturbating to porn... I''m just wondering if I ever slip up and watch some porn but don't masturbate to it, will this still set me back... Like what if I go 60 days no PMO and then watch porn but don't masturbate to it... Will this desensitize my brain again?
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Hey man, congrats on your quick turnaround--good news like this makes it easy for people to "keep on truckin.'"

I think about the number of people who come here and talk about their issues with ED, and how that correlates to depression, and not wanting to talk to girls and a lack of confidence. I figure for all the guys who come on here, there must be many, many, many more who have not and are unknowingly continuing along their destructive path.

While I truly hope that the light continues to be shed on this subject and hope that one day everybody will know, I am in the mean time going to enjoy being in social settings, full of confidence, and having sexual prowess pulsating from my every being. We are almost part of a secret club and I feel like we are all equipped with a secret weapon. So stay off the porn, keep fighting, and then enjoy cleaning up with the ladies :D
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I am here to share my experience on this problem that I too am suffering from. I have abstained from pmo for the past 67 days and I am still flatlining for the most part. I think the reason for this has to do with the fact that I have been regularly visiting sites like facebook and checking out the women there from time to time. I have had this whole ed problem for about the past 18 months or so. I knew something wasn't right so I decided to do some research and found this forum. I have made myself a promise that I will not visit facebook or any similar site until this problem is gone. I plan to continue to abstain from pmo until the start of the new year. If I do so that will be a grand total of 110 days that I have abstained and i HOPE that this will be enough. When I see women now that I find attractive I get a little sensation, it's almost like a tingling but it doesn't get hard. I am willing to abstain for as long as needed. I hope this helps someone else who is in the same situation as me. I am 21 and have been a regular p user since the age of about 14 so that's 7 years. I had tried to abstain before but it never worked. I am concerned and I feel like this isn't going to work at times but I know that I don't have any other option so I will just stick it out and hope for the best. A couple weeks ago I did experience a fuller penis at almost all times but that feeling has now gone back to zero and my penis is as small as can be once again. If anybody has any tips/advice/questions feel free to ask I am just here to help others because I could use a little help.
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67 days and you're still having problems? At this point maybe it's physiological and not the PMO so much. I don't think looking at girls on Facebook is like looking at porn, We can't escape attractive women, that's not the problem.

The problem is looking at explicit scenes, not attractive women. Keep going, and don't stress over this problem too much.
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It can't be physiological, I mean I used to get hard-ons before I started this whole thing but it feels worse and has been like this for like a week now. There was one point where I felt good like it was working but now its like I don't know for sure anymore. You're right I am just going to stick with it and try not to think about it too much. I hope that will work. Thanks.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Did you put your penis to the test yet with a female? Put yourself around a female and go from there... Your erections with normal women may have improve without you knowing.
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Don't expect your penis to get hard every time you see an attractive woman.  In non-sexual situations it's normal for your body to be relaxed, but the moment you perceive a sexual opportunity everything will change.

If you are not able to get or keep an erection for sex, then you know you need to heal more.
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For some guys it takes 90-120 days to recover, AND, they continue to see improvements for a long time after 120 days. So be patient. The older men who started later with porn are recovering from porn-induced ED faster than younger men who started early with porn. Also, young guys now developing ED began their porn careers on high-speed videos, rather than slow loading dial up. So 67 days may not be enough.

Facebook is a bad idea as it reinforces the same brain pathways as porn use with the searching and seeking pics. Every new pic equals a squirt of dopamine, just like surfing for porn. In other words, you are training your brain to need constant novelty, and rapid fire artificial stimulation. A real girl is only one person. You canot click, click, click while trying to have sex. Also, with the computer you are training your brain to be an observer, a voyeur - not to be a participant. To NEED visual stimulation.

What sport are you training for? Do you play golf to prepare for baskeball?  Your primitive brain doesn't know the word porn - it only knows the need for constant rapid fire novelty.

Also - 19 days for recovery is as rare as hen teeth, which means that user may have had minor changes in their brain, if any changes at all
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14 days no PMO so far, signs of progress. Had another chance to nail my GF, 2nd time. Last time used Cialis for confidence, it worked but I couldnt finish. Today it worked like a charm, great sex and very nice finish. The Cialis definately works well. After about 30 min or so, I was feeling aroused again (and I've never really been much of a 2-time guy), we didn't have time to do much about it though. I started a little M later at home but I didn't feel much like finishing so I just stopped. I remember before daily PM, maybe like 6 or 8 mo ago (?), I'd get horny and just bust one without any P at all. And it would't take too long either. Now that seems so hard to do, I'm definately messed up still. But hoping to get back someday. At least I know it's possible to have regular, normal, satisfying sex without coming too fast or taking too long. Hopefully the Cialis solution will be only temporary. But even if it's not, what the hell, I'm not 20 anymore (I'm 54). Aside from some very minor light headedness and feeling in my stomach, and very very minor 'buzzed' feeling, a little like caffeine (so minor it could be by imagination), the Cialis seems to have no ill effect, except to make it really easy to get it up (even if I don't feel like much like ejaculating). It really is a pretty amazing drug I have to say. Anyway, considering its only been 2 weeks I'm hopeful for even more success in 2 mo. I'm also glad I've had no really strong urge to do porn. I did have that one M/O session after the 1st sex with GF when I couldnt finish, but cmon 20 min sex with no O you can't hold that one against me!! Looking forward for more recovery. Good luck all!!
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Thanks for your comment. Your post makes sense and could be the reason why I am still having problems. I won't be going on facebook or anything anymore until this is fixed. I will continue to wait for the 90-120day period and continue updating my situation on here.
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I think people should keep talk about ED drugs off of here. That's not really a "success story". We want to be able to perform without resorting to drugs.
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hey all im 21 just seen this forum and it made me feel alot better about my self but i still feel unsure about my problem,
me and my gf have been goin out for 2 years and i use to watch porn the whole time never thought much of it and our sex life was gud but over the last while my sex drive and my interest in her and must women is gone and i just seem to get turned on now by women who look like porn stars,
i can get a erection but i cant feel it really when we have sex sometimes im not sure if im still hard when i give her oral sex until i look at it
now all i want to do is watch porn instead of havin sex wit the gf its starting to affect our relationship
please help because im really starting to get worried

im curious has everyone here felt these sypthoms or is it different in my case
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1828226 tn?1323568848
read all the posts on this forum and you will get all your answers.
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Hey guys amazing article with lots of usefull posts thank you.
I want to stop the porn but i wonder can i masturbate because i dont wanna give up on the masturbation. I am 20 y/o and my penis dont get up easy with porn right now...I have morning woods but not random erections through out the day as before.I am working from home and i don't go out very often so havent fu*ked a girl from 3-4 months so i dont know if my pen*is will be up i assume that it will.But sometimes before i  had problem with keeping erection with a girl becuase of my pen*is not used to the pus*sy but to my hand.  I think i killed some of my dopamine receptors so i stoped the porn.Its day 2.

Anyone experianced no erection from porn ? 2 days ago i M to porn and after 4 hours i decided to do that again at first my erection was ok but then it went soft...And this was my warning sign.. so i researched some sites and found yourbrainonporn com and it looks i am addicted to porn...


So my question is can i masturbate without porn while i am rebooting my brain from the porn?
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No, you said it yourself man.

"But sometimes before i  had problem with keeping erection with a girl because of my pen*is not used to the pus*sy but to my hand"

This means you need to stop masturbating too. I got it up during my last attempt at sex, but I went limp as soon as I got inside. Do you want to know why?

Because I was used to using my hand for four years and I forgot how the inside of a real woman felt like. So I wasn't turned on by the sensation. You need to stop the self love for a while or you'll only get worse as the days go by.

Give it a rest for at least 60 days. I know that's hard--but the way I do this is I feel like I don't deserve to masturbate or watch porn since I can't perform with a woman. That's how I've been free from all of it for a while now. Watching porn is depressing because I become jealous of the men and how they can get it up in front of a camera (sure some might be using drugs). And Masturbation makes me feel worse because I know I love my hand more than a woman. That's just plain wrong... You can't marry your hand.

If you want to beat this, it's all of nothing. There's no shortcuts here, that will only slow you down.
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Thanks for the response bro.I am so glad that i found this discussion.!
Its not that hard for me though, am i allowed to have sex when i am rebooting my brain ? But  i heard its healthy to masturbate from time to time if i dont do it  60 days is it possible to **** up my orgrans ? Or maybe to develop Premature Ejacuation ?  Now i can **** for as long as long as i want with condom its harder because of the different feeling but still.. Is it possible to lose my control over my ejacutation process after 60 days ?
And the most important question how often i can masturbate after i healed my brain? (without porn ofcourse)
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You should definitely take a break, both with P and M!

It will be tough but it is the right way to go. The first days will most likely feel normal but after 2-3-4 days things can get weird. You will probably experience no libido at ALL for some time and that is normal.

For my self, I went 18 days without M. I just couldn't resist the urge to test how things worked. After that I have masturbated once a week ) before I did 2-3 times a day). This actually feels good for me on I am now in week 5. I haven't tested things with a girl yet, but I definitely feel better now and things have certainly improved down there and my libido feels more natural now.

However, if you decide to M (which i'm btw not saying is the best thing to do) then do it differently than you did before. I now use some lube, only light strokes, and my left hand. Last time I even put a condom on and some lube in my hand... It works very well and my orgasm and finish is so much better than before. It also feels good to take some time off for your self and not just the porn rush/wanking away time as I did before.

And PORN is still a BIG no go. Use your fantasy. Make it realistic and natural, but don't force your self to get a hard on. Wait for your body to give you some signs...

And for you kessler21; All of us have felt that we were a special case :) Everyone is not alike and you will be fine as well. Read the posts and maybe talk with your girlfriend about it. A solution could be a week or two with just some cuddling, but no actual intercourse. And on side of that, NO P, NO M, and NO O for you the entire time. If it does not feel better and you still have some problems after that, then take a week more. And if things turns out to work again, then STAY OFF from the P and reduce the M.

Good luck!



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Hi everyone,
I've read this forum post and my goodness, does it help clear things up!

I've been having the same issues.
From about 13 years old I have masturbated every single day, sometimes more than once a day.

I'm 17 now, and when I was 16 I got a girlfriend, and the first time we tried to have sex, my god did it not wo