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Too much porn/masturbation cause ED?
Hi I m a 28 year old and suffer some degree of ED in recent. I start masturbated since I m 19 and usually use porn as a form of visual stimiulation. I have observed that I have lost the ability to maintain erect during intercource or I only get weak erection. My question is: does masturbation in association with porn will "exhaust" my interest towards sex and create a negative impact on my ability to get aroused in real sex? I m worried cause I think I m still young to have physical cause  for ED. Any thought?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I don't know if ED from prone masturbation. But whenever I went to docs about my issue, everything appear normal.

I can get an erection with masturbation and with a female. But most of the time the erection do not stay... With masturbation, I start to lose erection soon as I let go of my penis. With a girl, I may get one but lose it while putting on a condom or in the beginning/middle of sex. I get better results with stuff like cialis, etc. I also get better results if I don't masturbate for a couple weeks.

I can't remember how my erections use to be masturbating prone.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
When you mention getting erections from watching porn, do you mean getting a full erection on its own "without you stroking it" or stroking to porn and getting the full erection?

With me, I always had to play with myself to get full erection from watching porn.

How is everyone else on this site? Is everyone getting full erections "without touching the penis" while watching porn???
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1828226 tn?1323568848
And what about watching women get naked on live webcams... Is this consider internet porn?
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The key concept to understand is neuroplasticity: what are you wiring your brain to respond to? If you are wiring your brain to need lots of visuals, 2-D screens,constant novelty, and your own hand, Then That's hwat the brain needs to get an erection.

If you are playing golf to train for a swim meet, you are going to come in last. What sport are you training the brain's sexual centers to participate in?

Here's a little something from yourbrainonporn.
_______________________

What's allowed during a reboot?

This is probably the number one question we are asked, other than "How long will it take for my ED to be fixed"? Again, we have no program, only insights from men who have recovered. If your only goal is to unhook from porn, then stopping porn may be enough. That said, most men eliminate all artificial sexual stimuli and masturbation/orgasm (if you have a partner see the above links). Some have to eliminate sexual fantasy as well.

It's important to understand that recovery is not about porn per se. It's about reversing dopamine dysregulation and addiction. Your reward circuitry knows exactly what cocaine is, but has no idea as to what porn is. For behavioral addictions such as Internet porn and gambling, your reward circuitry only knows squirts of dopamine. For example, the lesbian porn that jacked-up your dopamine last month may no longer give you a buzz today. Now you need transsexual porn. As odd as this may sound, there's no such thing as (a definition of) porn.  It all comes down to whether you are reactivating addiction pathways, and whether you are overstimulating your brain's already desensitized dopamine system.

We receive daily questions about what's "approved", or what's a "relapse", or whether X, Y, or Z, will slow someone's reboot. Such questions cannot be answered. A better question is, "What type of brain training leads to addictive changes in my brain, and am I repeating it?" Your fundamental problem is that you are hooked on artificial sexual stimuli, and need to make a change if you want to return to your normal sexual responsiveness.
See Porn Then and Now: Welcome to Brain Training to understand this concept.

A short list of what it helps to avoid includes:
(Also see this FAQ - What stimuli must I avoid during my reboot?)
1.Porn: all types. If you need to ask, then the answer is, 'bad move.'  If it's not a real person, don't use it.
2.Avoid behaviors that mimic YOUR porn addiction.
3.Avoid behaviors that substitute the synthetic and the two-dimensional for the real deal.
4.Definitely 'no' to artificial, screen-based stimuli - because that's your addiction. Surfing Facebook, YouTube, or dating sites is like an alcoholic switching to lite beer.
5.Fantasizing about porn is nearly the same as watching it, as you are activating your brain's addiction-related pathways.
6.'No' to "erotic" stories; they count as porn fantasy.
7."What about fantasizing about real women?"

See this FAQ for a full discussion: What about fantasizing during a reboot?

Right now some readers may be thinking: "Must I avoid all dopamine-producing activities?" Of course not! Quite the opposite. You want to replace your addiction with as much fun as possible, especially exercise, socializing, meditation, even touching and smooching.  Research shows that these activities actually help regulate your dopamine levels and your mood (unlike intense video games, TV, junk-food and so forth). The difference comes down to subtly different neurochemical effects. When in doubt, steer for the kinds of activities your brain evolved to pursue, and which your ancestors regularly engaged in.

A related question often arises: "If too much dopamine is the problem, won't dopamine producing activities desensitize my reward circuitry?" The answer is 'no' to normal levels of natural rewards. In fact, guys have recovered from porn-induced ED while taking prescription medicines such as antidepressants, ADD drugs, and anti-anxiety meds. A few have recovered while regularly using pot or alcohol, though they seem to take longer and experience more relapses. Some guys think that replacing Internet porn with hours of video gaming or mindless surfing may have slowed down their rebooting process. Who knows? Certainly, Internet addiction does exist.
See: Ominous News for Porn Users: Internet Addiction Atrophies Brains
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"How is everyone else on this site? Is everyone getting full erections "without touching the penis" while watching porn???"

I definitely was - from watching and/or fantasizing without physical contact.  

In retrospect I think it fits with the description of getting the rush from the anticipation.  It was like I'd click on something and *bam* there it was.  Often even as the action got more intense, my brain/penis would lose interest until I went to something new.

But I was masturbating using my hand too, most of the time.

I would be surprised if "everyone" here got erections just from watching porn, just because there are so many different people with slightly different habits/problems.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
."What about fantasizing about real women?"

---I just did this the other night while masturbating. No porn whatsoever.... Is this bad? I thought this was considered normal.
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It's normal, but the above section is discussing "rebooting" which is the nick-name given to recovering from porn addiction and porn-induced ED. So it's about waht to avoid while one is also avoiding porn, masturbation, orgasm, and porn fantasy.

Lot of guys seem to think that training the mind to stop fantasy when it starts is valuable. They see it as porn in the head, so to speak.

What one does after the reboot may be quite different than during the reboot.
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I'm trying to cut out the fantasizing.  For me, I'm sure that if I start fantasizing, even if it starts with my girlfriend, it's going to end up with the old porn flashbacks.

My understanding is that visualizing/fantasizing about something is very similar to actually doing it as far as the brain is concerned.    In fact, I remember that masturbating while fantasizing I even had to change the fantasy regularly the way I had to click through to a new page when looking at porn or I'd lose my erection!  I've also heard of a study where they had people just visualize shooting basketball free throws improve as much in a week as people that spent the same amount of time practicing, and a similar study with practicing piano.

So I would guess that if you are visualizing/fantasizing about a real world 3D experience that is different than the old porn experiences, it is probably okay and might be beneficial(?).  But again, for me, I think I need to wait until I have rebooted before doing that if I want the fastest recovery because I don't imagine I'd be able to keep away from the porn fantasies.
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It's been about two weeks...I don't know what to say, i'm still pining for females 24-7 but not really getting woodys via fantasizing...Am waking up with woodys on various days though so i guess that's good...Still apprehensive around women (especially ones that like me), still get angry bursts from time to time thinking about the girl I lost because of this, but I guess this is the process...I hope my brain is rebooting throughout all of this...Hopefully this is typical for 2 weeks...
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Why can't I just be normal? I don't want to watch porn ever or masturbate ever again. Why can't I just do this... I'm doing good with staying away from porn but masturbation is another issue. I wish I could just wake up and never have the urge to touch my penis again unless it's a woman. I seriously want a normal life and I want God to correct this. I just sat up here for the past hour trying to masturbate without using my mind and could not do it. Ended up picturing some girl from my class sitting in the car with me and talking into her playing with my penis but instead it's my hand pretending it's hers. smh... This has got to stop. I lasted 35 days a month half ago and I must say I felt good about myself, was getting great erections thru out the day and was more confident around my special female friend. Then one day something triggered my brain and made me want to masturbate. I really want to be one of those men who doesn't masturbate. Will there ever be a day??? If not, how about masturbate no more than 4 times a year... Every 3 months or something... I need to get over this addiction. I am 34 now and has been masturbating since a young teenager. There's not a whole year I didn't go without doing it. And then porn just made it worst. Then webcam sex... Satan controls our internet. God if you listening to me now, please help me!!! I want to stop this madness. Starting right now, I'm going for 90 days straight, no PM. I may get an orgasm from my lady friend so I'm not ruling that out. Day# 1... I'm not touching my penis AT ALL!!!
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I remember 2 years ago I was in a relationship with my ex. And me and her was extremely frustrated from the lack of sex in our relationship, the problem was all me, ED issues.... She knew I masturbate and watch porn. I decided to tell her I will stay away from porn and masturbation just to see if that will make our sex life better. After 2 weeks no PMO, one morning, I came intot the kitchen and she was cooking breakfast. She said "good morning babe" and we kissed. After that kiss, my penis had an IMMEDIATE full erection. I couldn't believe it and she couldn't believe it. She said I haven't seen u get hard like this in a while. This was with no medicine (viagra, etc.). She was so excited she stop breakfast, took me to the bedroom while I still had erection and I proceeded to have sex with her (no complications). It last for like 10 minutes but those 10 minutes to her was like an hour. She told me to stay away from masturbation and porn because we have better sex without it. I agreed but as days went back Satan pulled me back into porn and masturbation. We are no longer together and lack of sex was definitely one of the issues. smh....

Fellas, we need to conquer this. I want to tell more stories like that one!
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Palpateit, I do agree with you that the porn is what causes ED, and not the masturbation. I think the effects of masturbation on ED may be very psychological. I think that BELIEVING masturbation causes ED gives you guilt if you do masturbate, which can affect your performance when it comes time for sex. Masturbating in strange or strenuous ways may also have weird effects, since extra strain on any body part isnt good.

And love_a_challenge, I don't believe if you find ONE person without ED who watches tons of porn, then that throws porn as a cause out the window. This is a statistical problem, and I firmly believe if you took a large sample survey of ED and porn and masturbation habits, you would find that the more porn men watch, the more likely they are to have ED. I don't believe you would find the same relationship with masturbation and ED, it would likely be random.

Btw, the guys that don't masturbate are getting action from girls. And if they weren't getting action, they'd be masturbating, for sure. So if you don't wanna be a guy that masturbates, you gotta become a guy that gets regular action lol.

Don't be so hard on yourself for slipping up. You need to keep the focus more on being successful with a girl rather than not masturbating, that is after all the final goal, right? And if you're staying away from the porn (ALL types of porn, webcam girls are definitely porn. Any type of computer/paper based visual stimulation is porn to your brain), then, IMO, you're recovering. You say you got a female friend, and from the sounds of it she's more than just a friend? Keep the focus on that. Once you start getting some regularly, you'll have a MUCH easier time abstaining from spanking the monkey.

One final note: testing yourself usually NEVER works well. If you're trying super hard to "test" yourself by fantasizing and trying to masturbate, don't be surprised if it doesn't work, because that's not a great sexual experience. Its easy to get anxious when you're on the line. Do you think guys who don't have ED try to masturbate if they're not feelin it? No, because they only do that if they need to. And if they do try and it's not workin out, they shrug it off because they know they're not feeling it. And it doesn't cross their mind for a second that they got a problem.

I'm sure for 95% of the guys on here, their problem is completely in their head and has nothing to do with if they spanked it weird as a kid or too often. I believe that porn desensitizes you, and can trigger ED, and that time away from porn can reboot you to where you were previously.

Wow, didn't mean to write this long of a post. Anyways, quick update. 16 days completed, just over 2 weeks of no porn or masturbation. Sex with the girls going really good, been doing it every day with no problems.

Best of luck to everyone on this forum!
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To clarify in my last post, in the first paragraph, I meant that masturbating in weird or strenuous ways may have a TEMPORARY effect on the capability of your erections, but should stop once you stop the habit. If you humped your bed as a kid, but don't do it anymore, I really don't think that caused your ED.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I'm in deep dirt.... Yesterday the girl I'm in love with "she in love with me too" ASK me the most deepest question ever over the phone. She ask me have I ever had any problems getting it up. I paused on the phone for a second and flat out told her NO! She then ask me if I was being honest and I said "yea". Then she was like "oh okay, because men out here be having a problem getting it up sometimes if it's that's the case then that's a problem" That's exactly what she said... So now I feel guilty for lying bout this and I'm thinking bout coming clean today because I don't wanna hit her with any surprises. I'm scared I might scare her away or turn her off though. To be honest with you, I don't think women understand it when a man doesn't get it up and this the reason I chose to say NO to her.

Fellas I hope you never meet a woman like mines, a woman that's always asking these deep questions and putting me on the spot. I will do my best to confess to her and sugarcoat it so she doesn't want to leave me. If she still ends up leaving me, well maybe it should be that way... But I really don't want to lose her, she is a DIME and got all the characteristics to go with it...
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Wow. So she really said that shes' "knows of" or "seen" a lot of young guys with ED. That says it all.

As far as your ED, just know that it can heal. It may take 90-120 days of no porn, no masturbation, but it's worth it. You can be one of the guys who's not watcing porn and is sexually strong. Have a target date - say March 15th. Get a calender.

And if relapse, just start again. Every day you avoid porn/masturbation strengthens your willpower pathways and weakens your addiction pathways.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
dude, I swear for the next 90 days I am not touching myself nor watching porn. I will concentrate on not daydreaming about sex especially at night. I got to correct this before I lose the love of my life. I still didn't tell her yet today but I'll let you know the outcome.
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So im on week 6 of no porn/mb.  During this period i visited a bordel on day 15th and  had the typical loss of libido a bit after i entered (me being pretty stressed was definately A factor, but not sure if it was THE factor). But yersterday (day 35 or sth), i took half an Eriacta pill (50 mg) and visited a bordel again.

Well the erection  was great, it didnt feel all that natural but **** was hard and up from the moment the girl entered the room until i came liek 15' later.

Now i dont plan to rely on pills for the rest of my life,BUT i think its a great help for the first time with a new gf or something. I'll have enough things to worry about,i dont want my errection to be yet another thing to worry about.
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Hello world i know its probably alota of guys out there like me but i have an erection problem. soon as i turn on porn i get hard asap. its no problem. but when i am about to have sex or oral i cant get hard if my life depended on it. its frustrating and i had the problem for a while i do watch alot of porn iam addicted i mean i would jerk off 3 4 times a day sometimes n i get hard everytime. can someone tell me how can fix the problem
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1828226 tn?1323568848
stop watching porn and allow 30-90 days for your brain to recover.
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So, I'm suffering from the same affliction as most of the guys on here. I haven't watched porn at for about 2-3 months, but I still masturbate and fantasized but have resolved to quit doing that as well because I still suffer from ED. I'm with a girl right now, we've had successful sex a couple times, but ED has been there and is a factor in our relationship... she's understanding but she does take it personally sometimes. Anyways, that's not the issue, I've been getting better and I just have a question: Do you think visualizing successful, realistic sex with my partner without masturbating will help or hurt. I've read a lot of positive things on visualizing success and it seems like it could help. I was wondering if you think this counts as fantasizing and might not be helpful.
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That sounds very, very weird that she would ask something like that. I don't know how I would react. I'm assuming she had a relationship before where the guy had ED and it was a problem. She sure doesn't sound very understanding, seems a bit selfish of her to already drop a bomb of a question like that so quickly. I'd personally rethink getting involved with her, but if you're sure she's the one, then thats that.

But the kind of pressure she's put on you, with your history of ED, it's almost 100% guaranteed that you will fail at some point. Don't be surprised.

You should prolly try and help her understand
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It's been a week with no porn or masturbation or sex. Not to say I have not been tempted.
In an effort to make sure I can go through with this I told my wife what I thought my problem was. She knew that I masturbated using the computer but did not know how often or to what extreme. We had a good talk about it and she's very supportive. She did not get mad and I knew she wouldn't, I guess because she rubs one out evey now and then with her toy, which  btw she believes can desensitize a woman if overused.
I think letting her know "forces my hand" so to speak & I want to be held accountable.
This morning I woke up with morning wood, not from being horny or because I had to pee. It was just there and I can't rememer the last time that happened. I think I'm on the right track.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
dude, If I was you, just stay away from porn, masturbation and even fantasizing. Matter fact, be like me now and start saying you just not gonna touch your penis. Let your gf be the only one to touch you and please you in that area. I think that's the best solution.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
We been talking every day for like 6 months and has a history of asking each other deep or personal questions so this one is not that far from it. I just never been ask this question before and I think she thought of it thru conversations with her gf and not from a past relationship. But I was planning on telling her the truth but decided to put this off for now since it seems like I only see her (1) time every couple months and she doesn't want sex again before marriage anyway. So I'm thinkin between this time I get my **** together. I'm also thinking that I want her to see me a few more times with erect penis before I tell her so she can see I don't lose erections all the time but just some of the time. idk man... We suppose to be in love with each other but at the same time I don't want to relay this personal info and scare her away. So far I've been taking medicine each time I'm around her to hide my issue until I get over PM for like 90-120 days THEN I get off the medicine, have more confidence in my erections and then tell her bout my past. At that point, she already have seen plenty erections. I don't want to lose her.
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Your situtation sounds very confusing lol.

I think it may be hard for you to get over your problem if you're not having sex with this girl, have you thought about finding another girl? There are plenty of great, understanding and caring girls out there.

To me, it sounds like you think that you're ALWAYS going to have this problem. But that will only happen if you let it. The key should be to get over the problem, not deceive her enough until she knows what your problem is. You want to be rid of the problem, not learn to deal with it your whole life.

My advice, you need a change of scenery, and by scenery I mean female company and approach to sex. Go find a new girl! One that is caring and understanding. Go on dates, get to know her, get comfortable. And of course, don't masturbate or watch porn. Being around her often with lots of physical contact (not sex specifically) along with no porn or masturbation should leave you pretty desperate for sex before long.

Most of all, DON'T think about your problem. I know thats easier said than done, but at least try very hard. You know how they say the best way to change yourself is to act differently, even if it feels awkward? The point is, eventually it DOESN'T feel strange anymore not to think about it, and it just becomes normal.

And if you do all this and you guys go to have sex and it STILL happens, then don't get upset. Make sure she understands that its not her, that you get anxious and you just need help relaxing. But make sure that she understands that its not her, because women can get very offended if they think that you're not attracted to them. Assure her this is not the case. The best part is, if she understands and is supportive, you've got plenty more times to give it a shot! Maybe take one of your meds, so you can have a guaranteed good sexual experience where you don't have to worry about it. That may be all you need.

Best of luck.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Dude, your advice was to find another girl when I just told you me and her are in love. You just can't find someone else when you're in love....I want to tell her the truth but she gets really mad when being lied to.

So how do I get past the sexless relationship issue, I guess maybe masturbate every 90 days or something, idk... Or maybe she pleasure me other ways that helps me reach an orgasm, idk... LOL

I think I'm leaning towards telling her...
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I say tell her. I'm sure she'll understand why you lied, its always embarrassing to talk about something like that. And its not like you lied about hooking up with another girl or something, you lied about something personal that you don't feel the greatest talking about.

The abstaining relationship is a bit of a tough nut to crack. If you wanna be with her, then make sure she's still up for other sex stuff besides penetration.

Out of curiosity, do you mind me asking how old you are?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
yea I think I will tell her in person while she has my hard **** in her hand, lol so she knows that don't happen all the time.

But back to the subject, today is day #2 for me and strongly feel I'm about to go 90 days for real. I'm pretty fed up with my sex life and not gonna let porn and masturbation control my mental. It's time for us to be normal people that wake up in the morning, take shower, go to work, come home, eat dinner and go to sleep (no masturbating or looking at porn)
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Alright i've ordered some cialis, it'll be here in 7-12 days...I haven't MB or watch Pr0n for 2 weeks...The problem (other than the obvious) is that I'm still attracting a good amount of women...So while i'm feeling $hitty about my problem, i still feel like I can get some booty (Hence getting the Cialis)...My libido is almost non-existent though even when thinking about all these females, so I don't get it, but i have gotten some solid woodys these 2 weeks (basically morning and random), just not when i try fantasizing...

So I guess i'm wondering if I'm in a good place for 2 weeks in and if I should even press the issue with a woman right now? My confidence goes from positive to extremely fearful hr-to-hr, minute to minute...This is what rebooting is?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
2 weeks with the cialis is pretty good, I say go for it
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I don't wanna depend on Cialis, but something's gotta give...
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You might want to check out yourbrainonporn for more info on your questions.  From what I've seen, the answer with fantasizing about real girls or having sex is maybe.  It doesn't seem to be a hard 'NO' the way fantasizing about porn or clicking through hot chicks on Facebook are.  

I don't really know what I'm talking about though, so I'll just give you the links to the two pages I saw that looked most relevant.

On what to avoid:
http://yourbrainonporn.com/what-stimuli-must-i-avoid-during-my-reboot

On reboot with a partner (how will sex affect my recovery?):
http://yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-with-a-partner

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Thanx Timmy but I watched every video from that site in my initial freakout session day 2...I honestly need  (and yes this sounds weak) encouragement and motivation...I need to feel like I'm doing the right $hit...It's one thing to listen to the science behind dopamine and all that, but it's another thing to just feel like your making progress...

All this stuff boils down to chilling out for 60-90 days and then everything will be alright (rebooting), but along the way i need affirmation and daily/weekly advice that keeps me in the right mindframe...I'd like to think that aids in the rebooting process...I hope...
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Well, I looked at some stuff that I didn't consider to be full blown porn and masturbated to it, but now I realize that any type of visual stimulation on the computer, in a magazine, or whatever should be considered porn to me. So, gunna have to start back up at day 1.
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Found something useful on this site, don't know if everyone knows about it so thought I would mention it.

You can set up an addiction tracker on your webpage that will keep track of your days for you. Seems useful.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
avoid....

1) porn
2) movies with sex scenes
3) sex stories
4) women in lingerae (online advertisement)
5) personal pictures of women with cute faces and nice bodies
6) webcam interraction with pretty women
7) phone sex
8) booty shaking videos on youtube
9) adult chatrooms
10) adult content on worldstarhiphop

how many days do you plan on going? what's your goal?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
the addiction recovery tracker is an excellent tool. I'm using it now. I like how it tells me the # of clean days (on the right hand side). Just seeing that # may keep me a little more focus. 90 days here I'm come...
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Ok I'm on day 6 of my latest attempt to stop this vicious cycle.

My only problem is I'm worried that by constantly thinking of my situation and having sex on my mind I'm lowering my odds of success.

How do I put sex out of my mind all together? When I try to think of other things my mind inevitably pictures a naked girl or a porn situation in my head.

It's like saying dont think of pink elephants and what do you think of? Pink elephants.

I dont get aroused when they pop into my head but I'm worried it'll be a problem.

Any thoughts or advice?
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wingman333, I can definitely understand the need for encouragement.  I'm amazed how much I've been on this site, even before I posted for the first time.  But reading other people's accounts, getting some answers to specific questions... it keeps the mind-frame right and provides some reason for hope.

mattmanelite, I know I was worried about fantasizing like you're talking about and not being able to control it.  I'm still worried about it.  I try to do two things that I'm pretty confident in.  First, I realize that it gets easier as you go on.  Ups and downs, some days are harder than others - but in general the trend is to get easier.  Second, I don't try to not think about something as much as try to think about something else.  Sometimes I just look around the room for the first thing that I can grab onto and start thinking about more in depth.  It's often something stupid, but I think it is easier to get going on something else and let go of the fantasies that way than to try and just banish it from your mind.  I don't know if either of those things are actually correct, but they are what I believe from what I've seen and maybe they can help.

In any event, good luck to all.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
its kinda impossible to not fantasize, the more days we don't PM more fantasies come to mind.... To me that's normal though. The whole key is to not touch your penis and just enjoy the fact your penis is getting an erection from your daydreaming...
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everyone gets addicted to porn once in life. there is no doubt about it. specially boys are in danger zone coz they get addict to masturbating more quickly. if anyone is addicted to masturbation then body itself gives u a signal that something is going wrong, these signals are like no morning woods, fluctuating moods, solitary/reclusive nature, loss of appetite and concentration in any task not study only. if u r in this zone don't shy, talk to ur school's health officials or if u r a shy guy then talk to ur parents. but above all best doctor is u, the trick is self motivation. take religious help, wenever u feel distracted start reading bible. i have cured myself by reading and listening to GURBAANI(SIKH preachings). second is try to use internet in someone's vigilance only. remember only ur self determination can help u.i also got addicted to porn for almost 11 months, then i realised that i have lost my morning woods. for almost one week i notice no morning woods at all. then i discontinued masturbation for 1 month, just listening my religious music and watching simple movies. now i am coming back on track. diet is also good idea to recover, but remember all good diet will go in vain if u continue mb. my suggestion is first give up mb, then join gym and switch to good diet. wish u all happy sex life.
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Well, i plan on never looking at hardcore porn again. Im also gunna try and avoid all stimulation besides my gf or checking out othrr girls, stay away from looking at pics of naked chicks, you know, anything computer or magazine based.. But thats just for the first bit, if i happen to see a hot girl by accident on the internet, w/e, as long as i dont seek it out. But definitely no hcore ****, thats what messes with ur brain.

As for masturbating, i dont consider that part of the problem for myself, so im not gunna worry about that. I have a frequent sexual relationshipnwith my gf so thats not too difficult for me to avoid, i havent had a hard time avoiding masturbating.. I really just wanna stay away from the porn, cause i feel so much better, sex is better and everythings a bit more shiny when i havent been looking at porn :)
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So first day down. Def feel like im not back at square one is time around tho, still feeling healthy. Had good sex tonight too.
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Today I have met a damn sex girl who wish to have unconditional sex with me!!! This would probably be the best shot I ever had in my life!
I really must fix this **** ASAP!! No porn, masturbation, sexy thoughts for 90days again!!
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1828226 tn?1323568848
its good to hear you have things under control. OH, i saw unexpectedly saw my girl today and we made out a little ( no sex) and I was getting pretty good erections the whole time, in fact a little precum too but to me that's a good thing. I also manage to tell her I had history of not gettin it up sometimes but asure her my penis is normal. She didn't get mad like I thought she would and she understood. I just left it at that, didn't talk about my porn and masturbation addiction because I'm working on that now... and yea stay away from the hardcore porn. once you get things under control you should be able to look at a naked woman on a picture without thinking about masturbating to it.

My goal is to stay away from porn and masturbation completely. I only want my girl to play with my penis!
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1828226 tn?1323568848
yep...
  
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I am so focused...
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1828226 tn?1323568848
just realize u said you not gon look at any hardcore porn.... huh? so does that mean u still goin to look at softcore porn? if so, sounds like you're still a little addicted to porn.... how bout no porn at all?
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I'm on like day 3. I'm totally feeling this lack of libido thing that people have mentioned. I'm seriously not even tempted to check it out down there. huh... In other news I totally noticed last night that my dreams seem to have an increasingly sexual content. I can't even remember what the dreams are about, but I rarely feel like I'm having sexual dreams and last night I did. Still no morning wood. I think the great thing will be that if i continue to have positive sexual dreams its really a departure from my typical anxiety driven dreams. I also feel more clear headed and like I'm getting a better sleep. I'm not anxious about this anymore.  I'll the girls I've found myself limp with have been totally understanding. I'm also becoming more rigorous and regular with my exercise just to maintain my well being further. Now I just have to figure out where and how I'm going to get a girl. I tend to just like to approach them, I don't really go out drinking and stuff. I'm a good looking guy so I generally feel confident about approaching if I can just get over my initial anxiety. Any advice on how I should start seeking women?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
you just need to be out more often or maybe look into online dating sites from your area.
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Just mean that i wanna stay away from porn. I said hcore cuz thats the worst stuff, so if i happen to see a hot girl in a movie or something i wont consider that porn, long as im not seekng it out. i consider allntypes of porn (soft or hard) strictly off limits. I havent looked at hcore porn in like 20 days but i still started over my count.

So no porn, soft or hardcore.
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Day 1 for me. wish me luck. Im 19, and i think porn/masturbation is destroying my future sex life and I hate it. I was wondering to you guys who have gone awhile, if your sex life ever fully recovers or comes even close to recovering?
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I am 37 years old. I started to masterbate at age 14 in 1988. I masterbated a lot through my teens, late 20's. I kept a regular sex life. Not a ladies man where I was bedding women all the time. A couple of gf's, a couple of one night stands, a couple of escorts. I NEVER had a problem, getting an erection. On occassion I would rent porn movies at an adult book store, masterbate to them. Never had a problem getting an erection. In 2004 I installed broadband internet in my home( was 30 at the time). I soon was masterbating to all types of porn. Swinger websites with pictures of swinging couples. These would often be 45minute-1hr-2hr, 3-4 hr sessions. Taking breaks, then going back to it. Ever since I have had broadband internet in my home and the quick access to porn, MY SEX LIFE HAS BEEN A COMPLETE DISASTER. It's very very rare that I have a fufilling sexual encounter. I did not realise that masterbating to porn was the problem this until a gentleman I e-mailed through a swingers website gave me some advice. I emailed him and asked him bluntly.

           "I noticed on your profile that you have met quite a number of couples and they validate your profile and say how you were terrific and the lady loved you. I have met 4 couples and if I can not get hard I don't stay hard after I get an erection. It's not nerves and performance anxiety as we always meet for drinks, chat, and proceed to a hotel. I'm not nervous at all. The only thing I can think that might be causing my ability to stay or get hard is I masterbate a lot to porn, pics, etc.... May I ask you, should I refrain from masterbating, espicially on the day or day before I meet the couples. May I ask you if you masterbate. What advice could you give me"

              His reply was this...." I masterbate all the time, but I will not masterbate on the day I meet a couple. I have no problem getting erections and staying hard. If your only 37, in good shape from what I can see in your pictures. I will tell you stop masterbating to porn, it's directly F'N up your sex life. Guaranteed. I'm 99.9% sure that your erection problem is caused by your masterbating to porn as much as you do. Lay off the porn man, just jerk off when you feel horny or something get's you aroused. After you get over that first hump in a week or two, your going to get erections and start feeling a sensation you have not felt in years"

        About a week later I had a sex-date with a girl who works in a differnt branch of the company I work for. I did not masterbate for 4 full days. Which was maybe my longest stretch in 7 years. We made out, she blew me. I was hard. but nothing I would consider a full erection. As I was performing oral on her, I jerked myself to get hard. I got hard pretty quick and stayed HARD. It was amazing. I had sex they way it should be for the first time in 7 or 8 years. I am telling you the complete truth. The only drawback if any was, as soon as she got on top, I came........ My problems with the lack of erections or staying hard I can say with honesty was my addiction to sitting in front of my monitor and masterbating to porn. Don't get me wrong, I have fallen off the wagon a couple of times. Masterbating to porn is an ugly, horrible addiction. The temptation is great. The porn is easy to get to. Porn Tube Channels have been my worst enemy. But I am trying. For the past 2 weeks as of the first of Decmeber, I have been strictly masterbating in the bathroom. Just a quick jerk off, maybe once a day, twice a day. But, to me that's an improvment and healthy to my sexuality. It's a struggle guys, but I will attest that masterbating to porn ill ruin your sex life....
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I'm so glad I found this website!

Little info about myself:
I started M and P when I was 12 to pictures on the computer (I had dial up at the time). By times high school came around we had cable internet so I started watching videos... My ED ruined my high school sex life. On multiple occasions I was with girls and couldn't get it up. It was so frustrating.

Fast forward, I'm 20 now and I have regularly PMO ever since 5-6 times a week, until 8 weeks ago. I was surprised at how easy it was for me. I thought I would have relapsed 2 weeks into it, haha. The improvements I've noticed is weak wood in the morning (I had nothing for 5 years :-/). I have gotten a few random boners during the day but not what it use to be like... Not fully hard. I haven't had an wet dreams like a lot of people did. I've noticed that I am fantasizing more, I always try and stop my self. But its been happening more and more.

I defiantly don't feel cured... I feel better... but not cured. I think I'm going to continue the program until something comes up so I can test myself, with a real girl.

In short, 8 weeks are done. Don't feel cured, going to continue program. Anyone else in this situation?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
So let me get this straight. If we all stop watching porn this will make women we thought was ugly eventually start to look more attractive?
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Day 1 for me as well, let's hope for the best
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I'm noticing that the more days go by where I'm not watching porn or masturbating the stronger and sexual my daydreams get. I keep daydreaming bout this girl in my life. Sometimes I daydream bout a girl that doesn't even exist in my life. It's like I'm creating a sexy image. LOL... However I am trying not to create an image way more sexy than the real girl that's in my life. This is to avoid me thinking what I have in her is not good enough when in fact she's a very beautiful woman. I just want to know is what I'm going thru part of the healing process?
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I'm trying to determine what counts as relapse to porn. If you see a sex scene on a movie or pictures of hot women on the internet does this mean you have to start over? I'm trying to avoid this type of stuff at all costs but this **** is everywhere. Im on day 80 of no masturbation and havent seeen much results and im starting to wounder if this is beacuse i was looking at women on facebook and dating sites before i realised that even this might not be good for me. It would be absolutely heart breaking if i had to start over now because of a sex scene i saw on tv, or pictures i saw on the internet. If someone could clarify this for me it will be  much appreciated.
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*day 80 of no pmo
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Hi there, I am glad I have found this place as I have exacly the same symptoms as all of you here. From what I have gathered so far, relapse counts when your are actively seeking out your favourite genre, whenever gets you off. Its when you are conditioning your brain, and dopamine levels to be elevated through that perfect scene.

I guess the whole idea of rebooting your brain is to be abstinent from those binges where the end of the binge is huge arousal and O as a consequence..

To love a challange: Yeah, the time of abstinance from porn is like drinking your favourite beer. The more you have it (freedom from porn) the more attracive ugly bird will be for you:). Good luck all I started few days ago, but relapsed after two days, but I am noticing patterns. I will not give up, once you relapsed, noticed room for improvement, start over and just like Rocky said it once: "its not over untill its over":)
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Hi there, I am glad I have found this place as I have exacly the same symptoms as all of you here. From what I have gathered so far, relapse counts when your are actively seeking out your favourite genre, whenever gets you off. Its when you are conditioning your brain, and dopamine levels to be elevated through that perfect scene.

I guess the whole idea of rebooting your brain is to be abstinent from those binges where the end of the binge is huge arousal and O as a consequence..

To love a challange: Yeah, the time of abstinance from porn is like drinking your favourite beer. The more you have it (freedom from porn) the more attracive ugly bird will be for you:). Good luck all I started few days ago, but relapsed after two days, but I am noticing patterns. I will not give up, once you relapsed, noticed room for improvement, start over and just like Rocky said it once: "its not over untill its over":)
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I don't get it... How do you think you should feel right now at 80 days no PMO? Are you expecting your penis to act a certain way? Have you put yourself in situations with real women to see how you handle yourself around them? Seeing a sex scene is not good but at the same time it shouldn't be bad. I think it's bad if that sex scene had you sexually touching yourself because that indicates you still do not have self-control over sex.
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This topic has been a real eye-opener. I am only 18 right now, but I have been masturbating since I was 11 or so and thus been desensitised to the touch of a real woman. I had serious problems with this with my last girlfriend. The relationship lasted a year but I could only penetrate her once, and it didn't even result in orgasm. So I've installed anti-porn software on my own private laptop to completely prevent myself from watching porn. I hope to go for as long as possible, 8 weeks would be fantastic. Here goes...
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Why is internet porn free anyway? Ahhhhhhh, it's because those sites are protected under the 1st amendment, freedom of speech... In other words, free internet porn will never disappear. So we the people has to take control of this situation.
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Hi there, I have seen you have been pretty active over here. How many days have you lasted so far and what results do you see ? How did you suppress those cravings to just to check your fav porn out ?

Today I have found sth which may help us all to stop the cravings. It has been designed to stop cig craving but it claims to work with porn as well. There is the link:
http://depts.washington.edu/abrc/mbrp/recordings/Urge%20Surfing.mp3
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Hi. I am 4 days clean so far but in the past I was up to 35 days clean... I lost focus by doing these things and had to stop if I want to make it to my 90 day goal...

avoid....

1) porn
2) movies with sex scenes
3) sex stories
4) women in lingerae (online advertisement)
5) personal pictures of women with cute faces and nice bodies
6) webcam interraction with pretty women
7) phone sex
8) booty shaking videos on youtube
9) adult chatrooms
10) adult content on worldstarhiphop

But after 35 days, I definitely felt more confidence in my erections, experience more spontaneous erections, more pre-*** while engaging in foreplay with a real woman and just felt more like a normal person who doesn't PM on a regular basis.

How am I suppressing it???? I am telling myself everyday that I'm a normal person, someone who doesn't PM. And I also pray to God to give me the strength to get thru this.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
And I also don't touch my penis at all unless I have to pee or wash. Under no circumstances I will touch my own penis. You know once you start touching it and playing with it after that comes masturbation....
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wow, 35 days for me it seems impressive now. I was curious, after that time during foreplay did you have like a nice normal erection where you felt confident that you could *** if things would go a bit further ?

I was with few girls before but every time I had the same situation. I could go for around 15 min with being semi hard inside her, but never ejaculated as a part of an intercourse. It is sick, but women vagina didn't seem pleasurable enough for me!
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Before I found out that my ED could be caused by porn I felt rather antisocial. I didn't engage to socialize with girls, I had to rather make a commitment to myself that I will be more fun and outgoing if I wanted to get some fun.
Which in few occasions turned out to be rather creepy:) and hilarious. I simply felt sexually frustrated to the point where I though that maybe these things are not for me. There was lots of anger and in general I was distancing myself from people.

Did anyone experienced similar things about themselves?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Lets just say I felt more confident in me getting erections. More confidence weakens the performance anxiety.
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Yes, you will fully recover. But you need to put yourself out there with girls after a while to truly see if it has helped.

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Hey guys. Starting from day 1 today because of a relapse. Made it 14 last time. My cravins really get to me. I start looking at some sex chat and when I know, I'm already on pmo. Does anyone have a tip on how to avoid relapses. I think maybe less time on PC. Thanks
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1828226 tn?1323568848
just try to stay away from it... staying away from your PC should not be the solution because you need your PC. It's funny, I saw a link today for a model stripping and I told myself NOT to click on it and it's just another woman stripping, nothing new and I seen stuff like this before.... So I didn't click on it and that felt good...
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How did your strategy go?
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So I'm going on two weeks tonight with no porn watching. Don't get me wrong, still ocassionaly run through hot pics of women online, but nothing that I would say is looking at porn. But I masterbate 2-3 times a day, or once a day...........So you guys that are laying off the porn. I;m a little confused.... Are you still masterbating? or just stopped masterbating and watching porn all together........ I honestly think i could not stop masterbating.....I tried, but can't go more then 2 days......Please let me know what you think......
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Some of us is abstaining from PM or P alone. Me... I'm abstaining from both. It's already ruled on the internet that porn ruins sex lives and masturbation doesn't. However, if you don't have any self-control over your masturbating habits that is considered a problem or issue. I believe that someone who is addicted to masturbating all the time has some psychological issues with real sex "can't keep it up"

This is just my opinion but in order to see if you're addicted to masturbation too, you need to set a goal and see if you can stick to it. See if you can last 30 days without doing it... See if this over-masturbating has been playing an affect on your real life. See if your body prefers to release semen thru masturbation instead of real sex. How is your sex life? Does it suck? Is there a woman in your life? You need to ask yourself these questions and decide if porn and masturbation is controlling your life.
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Alright, I feel obligated to share my story because this discussion board has really helped me figure out my own problems. I'm 19 years old and I suffer from ED with a partner. I'm almost 100% certain that this a direct result of me m-bating to porn (why else would a 19 year old have ED). The scary thing is, I was by no means an addict. I did it 2 or three times a week. But over time, it was almost as if the idea of sex became more appealing than actual sex. Sexual partners came and went, and I was never able to get hard with them. It got so embarrassing that I decided I was done trying to have a sexual life. Thank god I found this board. I stopped looking at porn immediately, and have now been "porn free" for 2 months. I think its starting to work. I have a very supportive girlfriend now, and she's been able to get me off via h-job twice now. I still struggle to get hard, and it takes a REALLY long time for me to get off, but I do. I think I'm on my way to beating this. Just thought I'd share. Reply if you have any questions, I'm fairly busy at the moment and don't have time to write everything that I probably should. Good luck.
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Thanks for replying..... I mean i was addicted to Porn-Masterbating for 7 years. Just until this summer when I found out that it's likely the cause of my ED problems. I have had a couple of good sexual experiances since I found out that if I keep from masterbating for a few days or more, I can actually maintain a respectable erection to the point I can make a lady orgasm and I can also. But I have fallen off the wagon a bunch of times since the summer. At the begining of December I caught off all porn. Don't look at it. But I have not refrained from masterbating. I wake up with morning wood for the first time in 7 years, HONESTLY. I had one good sexual experiance last week. I have tried to refrain from masterbating, I can last 2-3 days at best. I don't even try to fight it. I will masterbate. But under no circumstance do I masterbate to porn................... This is my approach, and I am confident it will help me. If I feel the desire coming on to watch porn, something turns me on and my urge is to jump on a porn tube channel, I go to the bathroom and masterbate. I will stress my addiction to porn-masterbating started in 2004 and until last month was still doing it.......... I don't think stopping masterbating and masterbating to porn cold turkey was possible for me. Again, it was a horrible 7 year addiction. This is my avenue to get off the porn-masterbating addiction.....It will be a process............. if anybody has questions or comments, as a 7 year porn-masterbating addict, I can offer some advice. Feel free to inquire me with anything.....
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I was never lucky with women in my school day, uni days or even in my early twenties. This is because during my whole life I had been surrounded by guys and had very little opportunities to meet women. I was never very successful with the very few chances I had with women to meet for dates in my early 20s and maybe it was because I lacked confidence and understanding of womens thinking. I lost my virginity when I was 25 to a prostitute who forced herself on to me when I was abroad. I was very ashamed of this and I too also experience erectile dysfunction ED after shagging her for only 5 mins.

Looking back, I understand now that I this ED was due to my chronic yrs of PMO. In the last 2 years I've found that I've had a very low sex drive. Possibly this is also because of all the high stress at work and finally conceding that hot women just.....don't like me. I turned 30 this year :o(

Things changed about 2 months ago. A hot girl invited my back to her flat one night and I just did not show any interest in sex when I spoke to her. I just had no libido and just didn't expect her to like me in a sexual way. However, we spoke to each other nearly every night on the phone since that night and she surprisingly actually showed sexual interest in me. We often had erotic sex conversations on the phone and we agreed that she would come to my house next week to have some horny sex with me.

This is very frustrating, because when I was younger, I would have jumped at the chance to shag her multiple times every night. Now, I am worried that I won't even be able to get maintain an erection and be able to shag her even once. I'm glad I found this forum because I learnt that it was the PMO which had really ****** up my brain. I've also taken the advice from this forum and I have not PMO'ed for 4 weeks. I have found that although I do get morning erections, I still feel that it would be very difficult for me to maintain an erection if I shagged her. I like her so much so I really want to ensure that I can satisfy her and keep her happy.

When I meet her next week it'll be 5 weeks of no PMO. I am really hoping that she'll be satisfied with us only doing oral sex together. I never thought I'd ever say this about a hot girl, but I would dread her expecting me to shag her, not because I'm not into women, but because I may not be able to maintain an erection which would inevitably lead to her dumping me.

Right now, I feel that 5 weeks and no PMO just won't be enough time for me to recover from my sins. I hope that I can quit PMO for, not 8 weeks, 12 weeks or even 12 months. I am aiming to quit PMO for the rest of my life.
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Keep in mind that you performance anxiety is probably going to have a huge affect on you getting it up or not if you don't control it. If you've stayed away from PM for a fairly long amount of time, don't be too hasty to blame porn if you still lose your erection. Definitely could be your nerves.

So just chill! You sound really wound up, and that isn't going to help the situation. If it happens, just relax, let her know its not her and its just your nerves. If you really relax, before you know it you'll be doing the no-pants-dance.

And don't think she'll dump you if you lose your erection once. Most girls are pretty understanding if you help them understand, and are willing to help you through it.

Good luck!
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1923088 tn?1338603606
Today make two weeks for me with no PMO!!!
This addiction has been destroying my life and my sexual self confidence.
Its a damn shame when you are around and woman and you're worried that it might turn into a sexual situation. My motivation for not falling off the wagon is not wanting to be in that situation ever again.
To the others that are walking this walk try to stay strong and if you fall off the horse dust off your knees and get back on!!!
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Man, I tink your anxiety will make a big difference. Try taking a viagra ou cialis that day. And if you're going to use a condom, use lifestyle's X2 condom, wich has L-Arginine, a precursor for nitric oxide, wich should better your erection. When you start feeling less nervous over time, stop taking the meds. Hope I helped
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Just take some ED pill. No matter how stressed you 'll be, your thign is gonna be up and strong for some hours and you ll have a good time.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
That is not all the time true! ED pills only work if you're really horny and in the mood, haven't masturbate a lot before taking the medication and not feeling a high level of performance anxiety at that time. And I'm speaking from experience...
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day 14. starting to realize how long 90 days is. if this doesn't work, i think i will pluck my toes off out of frustration.
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So, now I'm on day 4. I know I know I posted about day 3. Its amazing though how much sexual energy builds up. I was almost certain I was going to blow it this morning but I didn't. Also, I already got a phone number and will be going out on a date this week. Its so amazing how this build up of sexual energy seeks an outlet in like the 'real world.' When we masturbate its like burning a tank of gasoline in your garage before you go on a road trip. Now when I walk around I totally feel a need to engage women and just people in general. I hope I can keep this going.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
you need to get wit some females to see if you're progressing....
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i thought i was supposed to avoid orgasm?
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Update.
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If you can get drink camel milk, then you will feel strong penis and i can say the camel milk is the best treat for guys
i saw russian doctor Longtime ago and i saw oneday when i was in Africa he was buying camel milk and i was buying too in a same shop and i ask him do the russians drink camel milk and he say no , but why you drinking , and he told me that they are good treat for guys, that's it and i agree with him that's logical, if you can not get camel milk try eating alot of vegtable and stay away as much you can #3 milk and Powder things cuz of as much i use is the much iget my penis just sleep , I missed to drink camel milk I know many countries have no that milk but make Gym or sports and eat vegtable that's all i can help you guys and i know so many people can against my I dea but accourding to my idea Something is going on in the camel milk , blv me you can make sex so many girls
thanks,
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Yes you are right, you're suppose to avoid orgasm if possible. It brings a faster recovery.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
My urges have been under control and I am starting to feel different.  My problem now is that I can not go to sleep.   Even if I'm tired I just lie in my bed wide awake.  I eventually fall asleep and I wake up in the morning tired as hell.  I'll be glad when this phase passes.
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wat u said is so true
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Hi guys, Cant believe I have not heard of this before.
Basically I am a 51 year old married guy. I have always seemed to enjoy porn more than my friends and Have been into it since my mid teens going from mags then the huge step to video which I thought was heaven till the internet came along then it was an even better heaven!!

I know i have always had an ED problem due to anxiety as it was never any problem with erections when I was on my own but sometimes it would let me down and other times fine.

My wife has rarely had the sex drive that I had and so I would always turn to porn. Then my ED started to get much worse with my wife but still ok with porn. Then came viagra which gave a huge boost to our sex life for a while but I was also still into porn and would edge sometimes for 5 or 6 hours while watching porn plus camming.
Then my wife had a gynocological problem that meant she found sex painful and so basically for about four years my whole sex life has been porn.
To begin with I was watching porn and edging very often for long periods of time

After a while my libido was getting less and less and I started to have to manually get myself going and the porn was having to get more extreme to make me horny.
I have been to doctors and uro's and no physical problems found. I have even been to a hypnotherepist but no change.
Something I have noticed over the last couple of years and was mentioned to all the above only to get a blank look, is the fact that I have had periods of a couple of months with no libido whatsever and so no P & M then  would suddenly have very high libido so would be back heavily on the porn for about a week then the libido would go again.

After reading much about this over the last couple of days am I right to think that during the couple of months with no libido and so no P & M, my brain was rebooting which is why my libido returned? As I already stated I would then get straight back to the porn for a week and then the libido goes again. This is the situation now and because my wife is ok again now I would dearly love to be normal again.

I am going through the "no libido" phase at the moment so going without P & M is easy but I know will be very difficult when it returns again. During that period would it be ok to have sex with my wife or should I resist for a longer period?

I will be the happiest guy on earth if this gets sorted

Thanks
Pete
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Day 44 now. i actually have something to update now. I think I'm coming out of the no libido phase which started at around day 13 if i remember rightly. and believe me one month of no libido is **** scary. i did actually M a couple of times during that. wish I hadn't, but it was both in the mornings when you're waking up with morning wood. It felt good having an erection but the O's were both crap. So not worth it.

So libido is back, I've had about 4 spontaeneous erections today. My penis feels more turgid (even when at 0% erect) and sensitive. My main problem now is trying not to M. P is a distant dream. I don't know if the lack of interest in P now is due to me always hating it when i was addicted, but the cravings are definitely going away quicker than I thought they would.

When I feel like M'ing, i remind myself that I shouldn't be releasing this new sexual energy I have. This is the way you're supposed to feel normally. Is this a strategy other people are using to fight cravings? are there any others.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Technically you are suppose to abstain from porn, porn fantasy, masturbation and orgasm for 60-90 days in order to gain a full recovery. But every man can't do this if you have a woman in your life. So if you still choose to masturbate or have orgasms with your wife WITHOUT watching porn ever you can still reboot but the process will take longer. The whole key is to stay away from porn.
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I had a sexual dysfunction of Premature ejaculation (PE) and then I found the Fleshlighttoys.com and ordered one.  Since my penis loves it,  it is the best invention ever !!!!
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1828226 tn?1323568848
the fleshlight is a great toy but goes against the no PMO rule.
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Is there anyone here that made it throgh the 90 days? If so, are you cured from ED?
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1923088 tn?1338603606
I'm just a little over 2wks and I'm already starting to feel different. I'm starting to feel alive again below the waist.  
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I am so shocked to see how many guys came out in the open and admitted to porn causing ED.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
porn is bad dude... Let me tell you how bad it is.... Watching so much porn will have you losing sex interest in a woman after having sex with her for the first time. It's like once you get it you want another woman now. Sounds like porn right? Once we watch one girl in porn we get bored with watching her again because we already know how she look naked and what she is gonna do in the bed.

I advise all of us to stay away from porn as much as possible. Stick to masturbating with your imagination, the ol skool way!
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Check your inbox
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Well its been 94 days now since I started on this whole no pmo thing. I have relapsed a few times. I still feel pretty dead down there although my sensitivity has increased. I haven't really hung out with any women so I haven't really tested myself but i have masturbated but not to the point of orgasm and I think viewing some pics of swimsuit models may have caused my progression to halter. I have decided that I won't view anything like that or even touch myself at all for the next few weeks to see if that helps. I haven't had any morning woods either but I had a mini one today that was probably of like 30 to 40% strength. It's becoming frustrating now but i know I have to follow the no pmo more strictly. When I did masturbate I had an erection that was probably 85% hard so that is better than before. I am not sure of what else I can do besides just waiting and following the routine more strictly. Any tips/advice from those who have gotten out of this mess successfully is appreciated
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Just keep going, But I think you have to get intimate with a girl to test if it's working. But you didn't have a full erection even masturbating? Has it always been like this?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
How can you even count a whole 94 days? If you masturbated and you know masturbation is part of the whole problem, you might as well start over from the day you masturbated. But still stay away from porn. I recommend you don't touch your penis at all and don't watch porn at all. And if you slip up, start from day #1 again...

I think this is why you don't feel such great results after your 94 days.
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You are awesome, I wish I had the same response from my boyfriend, he is a hard head who says he will never be able to stop!!!
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I'm also curious if anyone has gone 60-90 and then their next time with a woman they just destroyed her...That's the kind of mind-food I need to hear...

I don't know...When I was MBing every other day, when I'd saw a woman I liked in real life, or even a chick I work with looking sexier on a particular day I'd almost have to tug my shirt down to hide the wood, now (surrounded by lots of hot women daily) there's just nothing...The "want" is still there, the appreciation for the body parts is still there, but the wood just isn't there....That's something I don't quite get...

My cialis should be here in less than a week...I'm curious to see how this will change things, because it's getting weird going against my instinct to talk with good looking women and not think about wanting to have sex with them...I'm literally cutting conversations short, and turning my back on girls I know wanna do me...I'll have to test out the pill no doubt as I won't chance it with a chick (No way I'm embarrassing myself like that again), so I guess the question now becomes, and it's a weird one...When and if it works, then what? Just go to bed with a 4hr woody? Can't believe I'm really this person sometimes...
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Yea, the masturbation part probably messed me up. I will start all over again at day 1. Although I am at day 1 one, I feel better than when I first started this whole thing. So thanks for the advice and I will post again after a few weeks. And to answer LeonardoMK's question: no the full erection while masturbating started like a year ago when I began to notice that my ability to get and maintain an erection was beginning to weaken. I could still get a full blown erection but it would take more and more visual stimuli to get the same effect. That's when I began to notice that this wasn't normal and that I needed to do something about it.
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This is my third post here.
I'm on day 49 now: no Porn at all. No Orgasm using my hand at all.
I'm on day 3 with masturbating to Orgasm by reading stories and using a Fleshlight.

Almost 3 weeks ago I met a girl I really like. 2 weeks ago we had sex and it was awesome: I got hard and stayed hard during intercourse and I Orgasmed.

We had sex like 5 times already, and after a dry spell of over half a year it's something I really, REALLY appreciate.

I write down my progress of no masturbation, and have reached a record of 14 days, relapsed and then another 8 days. I have never, ever in my life not masturbated for such long periods and I now feel in total control over this "need" which mainly attacks me when I'm bored - so I don't allow myself to get bored.

I also discovered that real penetration is a LOT better than "Fleshlight" - which is close, but not close enough.

In short, I still have a long way ahead of me but I greatly appreciate this forum and you guys for all the help and insights you have given me.
I feel so much better now!
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1923088 tn?1338603606
Outstanding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Man, that's great!!!
Would you say that not watching porn was important to your recovery? Or simply not getting nervous when having sex?
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He's just embarrassed, ashamed, and frustrated. I know cuz ive been there before. he needs to understand that he needs to relax in order to get over it. Its hard tho, its a male pride thing lol

Update
Its been close to a month since ive looked at any porn, and the temptation to check out hardcore stuff is gone. Still tempted to look at pics of naked girls, but been totally clean for 6 days. Havent lost my erection with my girl for probably 2 wks, and last night had some fantastic sex. She kept telling me how big and hard my **** was. Makes all this porn abstaining effort
worth it. :P Made me feel good, and most importantly CONFIDENT, which is key. At periods when i was looking at porn, my erections and desire weren't as strong

No one need doubt that getting off the porn will help your sex like, it will. But as i said before , you also need to put yourself out there with girls to really trigger a change. You could go 200 days without PMO, but if u dont engage a girl, u wont feel that desire required to tell you its working.

Its not easy, no one ever said it was. Its one of the hardest things ive ever done in my life. There were bumps, but now ive got a beautiful sexy girlfriend of over 2 years, who is very happy with our sex life, and so am i :)

As always, best of luck to everyone!
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Do you still masturbate sometimes or do you just wait to have sex with your gf?
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I just wait to have sex, no masturbating. Luckily I don't have to wait very long lol.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
That's good then... You are training your mind and penis to only like one kind of stimulation.
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Alright my cialis has arrived, from Mumbai no doubt^^ (Cheaper there)..So now what? Somebody suggested to me that i test it out first...So what does that imply? Should I fantasize about a real chick I like? Read a filthy story, what? Then what? How should I horny myself? Should I just pull out the stop watch if and once it works, should I pleasure myself? (God help me the questions I now ask in the open)...Gimme the lowdown cause if this works, then I'll have the confidence to try it with a chick....
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1828226 tn?1323568848
go head take the pill, wait like 30 minutes for it to kick in, think of something erotic and play with yourself. you should feel a difference in the hardness of your penis. play around with it for a while and stroke yourself till orgasm. now you know how the pill works so use it on a woman but remember the pill only works if you are truly sexually excited, haven't masturbated in a day and not feel any performance anxiety type pressure...
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So, do I continue the reboot process afterwards, because I'm on week 3 (Or is there a way people incorporate the reboot while using the pill? - Anyone can answer this really)...Just wondering how this will affect it, because I don't want to just rely on these pills for life, just to ease myself back on the right track...

It's funny, but for the first time last night I had a dream that I MB'd to just fantasizing, and I was so pi$$ed at myself...I was like, well I had a relapse (I orgasmed and everything), then I woke up only to see it as a dream, but I was super-woody...Then literally a few minutes later the fedex guy knocks on my door with the cialis... Let this be the path to recovery and confidence...
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Good luck. I don't think you sould masturbate. Give it a try with the girl without masturbating first. Worked for me ;)
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SO you're telling me to just keep the 4 hr woody when I try it tonight?  lol Do do anything? I'm not bringing a chick into the situation until I know this works...I can't take what happened to me 3 weeks ago...I'm laffin' but that would be a setback of epic proportions to try this with a girl and it doesn't work...

ANother thing, would it be better to try half the pill or the whole thing? Excuse all my followup questions yall, it's just once this happens to you, ya gotta know what you don't know...
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You won't have a 4 hour boner. (If you do, go to a hospital). But just in case, what dose is that cialis you've bought?
anyways...if you're nervous and want to try before, go on. about the whole pill or the whole, that depends on the dose...If you bought 20mg, you should use half.
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20 mg, so I'll try half, and hope I don't get the urge...
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1828226 tn?1323568848
i used cialis before, 20 mg will give you an absoloute headache, 10mg will you a slight headache, 5 mg will barely give u a headache and 2.5 mg gives no headache at all...

Also, I had good moments and bad moments with cialis. I did not always maintain a boner with a woman while on the drug. That goes to show that the mind is more powerful than a drug so cialis is not 100%.

And how are you taking half if you got the 20mg? It's not easy to break those pills in half. You suppose to take it as is...
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I am now getting fully serious. I am staying away from all social websites for the next 90 days. This is definitely going to get challenging for me because I get bored easily but I really want to see my results after 90 days... March 16th, here I come! no PMO
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Easy to break in half...Just chugged it...Feels like it got caught in my throat godammit...
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Also, don't tell me that..Just tell me it worked...It's the Placebo effect...Positive thinking ya know...
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Alright, took the Cialis..Thought about this chick I met at this party earlier, got pretty good wood...Orgasm'd...

Chilled for a sec, then it went back down...SO it's not supposed to stay up after Orgasm? Tried thinking about some different chicks and nothings really happening anymore..SO once again i'm confused, i thought this $hit makes you stay woody once you get woody...
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Yes. It goes down after your orgasmed (happened to me too). But it makes it easier to go up again for a second round. But I'll tell you: ED drugs aren't that effective in young men with no vascular problems. It was the placebo effect. You probably would have a similar erection without the pill if you weren't nervous ;) . The "final hardness" is the same with or without the drug, but with it it's easier and faster to get there.
about nothing happening later, you have a lattency period, in wich there won't be an erection, due to neurological regulations. Don't worry about that. after 20 minuts lying next to her, you'll get another one. Hope I helped
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Yeah that helped...Woke up with wood and headache...Alright, think I'll try to rope a heifer now...see if i'm good to go...
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Just my opinion but there is no placebo about viagra or cialis. That's all medicine... I been using that stuff on and off since I was 21, I'm 34 now... Anytime I took that medicine there was a definite difference in my erections. Erections were definitely harder and stronger.
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Hm. You're probably right, then :) . Sorry for the misinformation.
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So, i finally  MB'd after  2months of no PMO.

I'll remind you that i had a good erection with a *****+ some ED drug like 2 weeks ago.Yesterday got pretty drunk and ended up at some strip club. When i got back home i knew i had to MB or i would explode.

I put on some amateur-porn (aka regular couple having regular sex) and mb'd with just my 2 fingers, slowly (usually my style was very harsh/strong grip and very fast...i believe it was the reason for my ED and not the porn itself). I had a decent erection throught the 15' of masturbation and finally came.

Today just thinking about yersterday night at the stripclub and with minimal stimulation (aka just humping the bed rarely) i had a 30' erection;o I was pretty surprised and happy i guess.

So to sum up, i think im a good path. I'll still have some issues mostly having to due with me being pretty stressed with girls in general. I'll insist on not watching porn and will try to limit my MB at once a week max (prolly not even that if i can go with some ***** instead or get a girlfriend~~)
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I just discovered this thread, I don't have ED but I am addicted to P and M, and it has badly effected my sexual relationship with my girlfriend. The worst thing is she doesn't even realise theres a problem; I can get hard and have sex with her but I can't orgasm without thinking about one of the twisted scenarios I'v become used to because of all the messed up P i watch. This is taking a horrible toll on me, and the guilt is crushing me slowly. I am 23 and really need to stop watching P. The problem is I'v been doing it nearly every day since I was 11-12 so it's deeply ingrained in me. I'v managed to stop for a week or two before, always to get sucked back into it. This time, I want things to be different but I don't know how to make it permanent. I'v never written about this problem on a forum before so hopefully doing this will help. I start now, wish me luck.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
You  need to be stronger than this.... C'mon u can do it, 90 days no PMO... Aren't u curious to see your results? I am...
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Did you even read past the first line?

Anyway, The 90 days no PMO aint some magic number that works for every person nor is it something that if you fail it means that all your efforts went in vain.

So far im seeing good progress and i ll keep trying to improve even more~~
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oh the ***** in my first post are in the place of wh-ore or prostitut
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Relapsed. ****.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Yes I read pass the first line. Didn't mean to sound like I didn't give you any credit.

However, I notice you said you put on some amateur porn to masturbate to and you also still don't think porn is the issue (just your handgrip style)....

That indicates you still don't want to leave porn behind.

Check out yourbrainonporn.com

It talks about that, how you still want to justify that porn is not the problem.
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i have been in this program of no P/M for like 2months now, but i failed once and fell of the track in general its 2 months now.. and i have seen some good signs.
i would like to ask u all.. reading erotic sex stories is it going to be a probelm for the porcess of recovery?
i get erections wich will go away after sometime from reading those stories.. no pictures or videos included and i don't masterbate to those erotic stories.. i just read them for pleasure. i jst want to compelete upto 4 or 5 months of no P/M and then try sex.
what do u think about reading erotic stories guys?
thanks in advance.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
reading erotic stories is still considered bad because you're still releasing dopamine. The idea is to try to stay away from using your mind or watching anything sexual as much as possible.

Check out yourbrainonporn.com
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I thought normal fantasizing of real women was fine, no?
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I'll do that, because I realized that I won't go through 90days without masturbating
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Hi All,

I am suffering from ED and I definately know its down to watching Porn. I am watching porn and masturbating 2-3 times a day, I am now even at the point where the masturbation only lasts about 20 secs.

I also agree with the guy who said you start to watch different porn, I started off as a 12-13yr old watching straight and lesbian sex, but soon had to move onto orgy, bukkake and other types of porn which now include shemale and occasionally Gay porn.

I have a very poor sex life with my wife, but this is mainly down to the fact that she has no sex drive, but like others on here I can only get erect when thinking about the porn I have watched that day.

Today for me is Day 1 without porn or masturbation....

Wish me luck!
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Hope everything went good with the cialis. Good to see that u got a lot of good advice from ppl on here.

My 2 cents in response to some of the comments made on here:
- ED meds will definitely work if you are young. i am 22 yrs old, and tried them when i was 18.
- you sgould never take the meds and not masturbate, cuz then it wont go down and that can be dangerous. And once you do masturbate, you better HOPE the thing goes down, or else u might need to go to the hospital lol. Its supposed to go down after.

I think you should try it with a real girl now that u know it works. Could b all u need to get over this.


You should give it a shot with a girl now
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1828226 tn?1323568848
my girl officially knows about my 90 day no PMO so this will definitely make me concentrate harder on this because I don't want to upset myself, upset her and make me look like a failure if I don't complete this....
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1923088 tn?1338603606
It’s been 21 days since I completely stopped PMO prior to finding this forum and other resources on the web.   My affliction was M just about every night before going to bed and sometimes a few times a day due to porn viewing.  I experienced the porn buffet getting moving from straight sex to more extreme porn to excite me which destroyed my sex life with real women.  

I’ve noticed a vast improvements my desire to pursue and interact with attractive women is back, if I think about everyday women sexually I get aroused, I had a female friend of mine over last weekend and my thoughts were even different and her sitting next to me on the couch made me feel like I haven’t in a long time.   I even started having horndog dreams about women I’m attracted to THAT is a major change for me I can’t remember the last time I did that.

I still have erotic thoughts but I make sure they are NORMAL thoughts no extreme hardcore stuff and I’ll get a woody.  That progress is what makes me NOT TOUCH MYSELF because it was impossible to do that before.  
I feel like I have more energy and a more positive outlook on the day.  My only issue is that my sleeping patterns are HORRIBLE that’s driving me mad.  I think it’s strongly connected to pervious pattern of M before going to bed and the chemical releases.  

I work in the IT field so I can’t totally stay away from the computer but I’ve erased all the porn off my hard drive, cancelled my memberships to porn movie/photo forums.

To all going through this you have to stay strong the reward is worth it.
If you want to test your progress if you can get out and engage women in conversation and some flirting you should start feeling different than how you felt before quitting PMO.
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good luck my freind. I recognise everything you say. I am on two weeks now and not a problem so far.
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Good luck. I suppose that this new pressure is a good one.
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Hi all, I am a 23 year old with what seems like the same problem you guys have.  Ive been hanging out with this girl, who already has confidence problems, and almost every time we've tried to get physical, ED kicks in and I can't perform.  It ***** because I really like her and think I might lose her if this continues.  I keep telling her this is my problem, but she keeps believing its her.  I've masturbated to porn since I was around 14. Previously, I only got with girls when I was incredibly drunk, and I still remember having ED some of the time.  I also had a girlfriend for 3 years in high school in which she wanted to wait until marriage, so lets just say alot of blue balls.  The advice seems to be to stay off porn for a while, and stop masturbating so thats what Im going to do.  Any advice on ways to avoid porn will be incredibly helpful.  Right now I probably masturbate to porn 3 to 4 times a week.  Also, when Im with this girl now, when were fooling around I can get up fine, it's just when the clothes come off, if I go for a condom or if she starts to touch it, I lose it.  This ***** and its so embarassing.  I just want to be able to have sex with her more than anything.  Advice will be greatly appreciated.  It's good to see Im not alone in this
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1828226 tn?1323568848
just tell her you went to the doc and doc told you to stay away from all sexual activity for 60 days just to clear your mind....

women believe what the doc says...
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Hey guys,

Thanks for all these posts.  I'm 29 years old, have been masturbating to porn since I was around 12, probably once a day/five-to-seven days a week.  I was in a serious relationship from ages 19 to 25, and with that girl, sex was great.  I was horny most of the time, and I never had problems getting up.  It was a real relationship -- a meaningful one.  She was the second girls I had been with.

That being said, after that relationship, I went on a bender of sexcapades with various girls... girls who meant nothing to me, other than sex.  That's when the problems staying erect started surfacing.  I wasn't used to wearing a condom, and once I started wearing one, I would lose my erection shortly there after.  

I made the foolish mistake of not using a condom a few time, and luckily, I never caught any diseases.  Nevertheless, in those situations, without the condoms, I was able to keep my erection.

However... now, as the years have gone by, I have continued to watch porn, and masturbate, etc.  Now, I find myself not even able to keep my erection without the condom.  It's like I'm so used to the way I jerk myself off that a girl's vagina barely meets the mark.  I think this also has to do with porn, since regular sex just doesn't seem to do it.

For the most part, though, I think this may have to do with the fact that now sex to me has become meaningless, physical fun.  It used to be associated with "love," but now, since I've been "broken hearted" once or twice, I seem pretty closed off to love.  I think that's what's keeping my johnson down.  Anyway, I just thought I'd bring the element of "love/honest affection" into the equation to see what people felt about it.

As for the pledge to not 'bate to porn, I've been giving it a try.  I'm on day two right now.  So far, I've had erotic dreams and mild morning wood, but no killer boners just yet.  I can't wait to reboot this whole thing.  I'll keep you guys posted.

Thanks for the all the honesty.
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Hey guys,

Thanks for all these posts.  I'm 29 years old, have been masturbating to porn since I was around 12, probably once a day/five-to-seven days a week.  I was in a serious relationship from ages 19 to 25, and with that girl, sex was great.  I was horny most of the time, and I never had problems getting up.  It was a real relationship -- a meaningful one.  She was the second girls I had been with.

That being said, after that relationship, I went on a bender of sexcapades with various girls... girls who meant nothing to me, other than sex.  That's when the problems staying erect started surfacing.  I wasn't used to wearing a condom, and once I started wearing one, I would lose my erection shortly there after.  

I made the foolish mistake of not using a condom a few time, and luckily, I never caught any diseases.  Nevertheless, in those situations, without the condoms, I was able to keep my erection.

However... now, as the years have gone by, I have continued to watch porn, and masturbate, etc.  Now, I find myself not even able to keep my erection without the condom.  It's like I'm so used to the way I jerk myself off that a girl's vagina barely meets the mark.  I think this also has to do with porn, since regular sex just doesn't seem to do it.

For the most part, though, I think this may have to do with the fact that now sex to me has become meaningless, physical fun.  It used to be associated with "love," but now, since I've been "broken hearted" once or twice, I seem pretty closed off to love.  I think that's what's keeping my johnson down.  Anyway, I just thought I'd bring the element of "love/honest affection" into the equation to see what people felt about it.

As for the pledge to not 'bate to porn, I've been giving it a try.  I'm on day two right now.  So far, I've had erotic dreams and mild morning wood, but no killer boners just yet.  I can't wait to reboot this whole thing.  I'll keep you guys posted.

Thanks for the all the honesty.
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If you get hard when youre fooling around, but lose it when you go further, it sounds more like performance anxiety to me. Staying awaynfrom porn should help your confidence, but the more important thing here is to get your nerves under control. That may be the only source of your ED.
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To be considered porn induced, there's got to be no erection at all?
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No. Porn-induced simply means that your sexual dysfunction is not organic, but is caused by porn use. It says nothing about the severity.If you cannot get an erection, even with porn, then your brain has been changing for a long time.

Some symptoms that may be associated with porn-induced desensitization:
•Earlier genres of porn are no longer "exciting"

•Experiencing greater sexual excitement with porn than with a partner

•Decreasing sensitivity of penis

•Coming when you are only partly erect, or getting totally erect only as you come

•Difficulty reaching orgasm with a partner (delayed ejaculation)

•Declining sexual arousal with a sexual partner(s)

•Losing erection while attempting penetration

•Needing to fantasize to maintain erection or interest with sexual partner

•Can't maintain erection or ejaculate with oral sex
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I notice on this thread that the majority men who were in a relationship (having sex with their gf + still masturbating to porn) had no problems getting/keeping an erection. But once their relationship ended + still masturbating to porn, they now face some sort of ED.

With that being said, I think it's an unbalanced indication. Perhaps if you masturbate to porn WAY MORE than you have actual sex can lead you to ED. So, if you masturbate to porn 10% of the time and have real sex 90% of the time you won't face ED.

This could be my issue because I definitely masturbated to porn way more than I had sex in my lifetime. So I know my solution is to stay away from masturbation and porn completely.

Someone else who has been having sex regularly and still masturbating to porn should be able to recover faster than me.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
With that being said, I think this applies to you frank... You still have sex with your gf and eliminated porn so your recovery appears to be faster than mines...
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LeonardMK:
I'm just saying that he said he was hard when he was fooling around with the girl, i.e. making out, touching, etc. If he was fully hard then, it means he isnt having a problem being aroused by the girl he's with, suggesting that porn isn't affecting his arousal with real women. Then he said he lost it once they proceeded to other things, where his erection was more important. That just sounds like performance anxiety to me. And of course, dealing with that takes a different approach than the porn-induced ED.

love_a_challenge
You're probably right. Because when you're only used to 1 type of stimulation (porn), and you take that part away, your body isn't used to any other types of arousal stimulation, which is why I believe a lot of guys on here experience a dip in their libido. When you have a gf, you're used to being aroused by her, so i think making the transition is quicker. Plus, you're more frequently aroused by having her around a lot, and you can really see your progress on a day to day basis. Good post! I think that hit a mark that hasn't been covered on this forum yet.  
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1828226 tn?1323568848
frank u said to leonard "I'm just saying that he said he was hard when he was fooling around with the girl, i.e. making out, touching, etc. If he was fully hard then, it means he isnt having a problem being aroused by the girl he's with, suggesting that porn isn't affecting his arousal with real women. Then he said he lost it once they proceeded to other things, where his erection was more important. That just sounds like performance anxiety to me. And of course, dealing with that takes a different approach than the porn-induced ED."

--- I think this is still porn-induced because I have this situation all the time. I think what happens is "constant masturbation to porn" makes the mind and body lazy to real sex because masturbating to porn does not require a lot of work.

So once a man gets with a girl, yes he's excited at first during foreplay and gets a great erection but as soon as it's time to have sex the erection is lost because your mind/body is not use to putting in 30-60 minutes of sexual activity. It's like your mind is saying "Why go thru all this when you can just jerk off for 5 minutes and be done" LOL

So, if you wanna step your sex game up, stay away from masturbation and porn because it's making you think lazy. I hope this makes sense to yall because it makes sense to me.
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day 22 attempting no pmo but i had o w gf (both wearing clothes). can anyone tell me about how long something like that'll set back full recovery, if at all?
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Day 3 - No PMO!!!
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If it was with your gf and with no porn, I guess it won't make a difference.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
i think it could set him back because he reach orgasm by a different type stimulation (his clothes)
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Hi everybody, as many others in this forum I've the same problem: ED most likely caused by addiction to PMO. What made me research the topic is the fact that lately I've had the opportunity to have sex with a beautiful 30 years old girl (I'm 52) and useless to say it didn't get up. I've been PMO since I was 11 / 12 like many others at the beginning with magazine then videos and the Internet, as many others always looking for more different kind of P to get excited to a point that I'm sure that some stuff can't be normal. I'm married and I've not have had sex with my wife in years, part because she's gotten so big and also others things that I do not have any attraction for her, that made me more into PMO. Of course now after reading many posts for few days I've realized that good chunk of the problem is the addiction to P, otherwise how could it be explained the ED (more than once) with a beautiful 30 years old?  So I started the rewiring process but the first attempt fell after 4 days so now I'm back to day 1. I've deleted now all the P stash and canceled the Usenet account where I was getting 99% of the P. The more I read posts the more I'm convinced that the problem is PMO I just hope is not to late for me; to all the younger man out there stop PMO before it ruin your life not only sexually speaking. Any advice on how to stick to the plan is welcome.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Write down a list of the things that will trigger you to go back to porn (porn sites, magazines, steamy sex movies, lingerae ads, sex stories, etc.) and stay away from those things for 60-90 days. Probably as you go thru the transition your own wife may start to seem a lil attractive to  you for some sexual activity if you know what I mean...Don't touch your penis at all unless you have to pee or take shower. If your wife will attempt to have sexual activity with you during your recovery, point her to this forum and advise her you really need to abstain from no PMO.
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Update
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Hey everybody,
I have a few questions I was hoping you could all help me out with, please, before I start this:

Firstly, I'm a 17 year old male, and as everybody else, been masturbating since around 13. At the age of 16 I had sex for the first time and it wasn't the pornstar 'looks and experience' i expected, I lost my wood, and from then on I havn't had no sex drive or anything.

I'm going to start the whole no masturbation and porn thing however I was wondering if somebody could PLEASE Answer me these questions:

1) what does PMO stand for? (Porn/Masturbation/'something? or what?)

2) I have a girlfriend at the moment, am I allowed to say, still be involved in sexual activity with her? so instead of me masturbating, we have sex when were together? Or has it ALL got to be eliminated?

3) After I feel more aroused and I feel 'fixed' what do I do from then on? If I masturbate will I fall back into the cycle (Am I allowed to mastrubate ever again?)

4) By not masturbating, then only doing things with a girl, surely I'm not going to last 2 seconds? I mean, what if I dont do anything for a month?

Thankyou everybody, and good luck to everybody, this website is shining some light onto what I believe is the answer to my condition, could somebody PLEASE help me and tell me the answer to my questions, thankyou.
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Hi i'm jake, and im 15 years old but since i was 12 i masturbated EVERY SINGLE NIGHT till a week ago, my girlfriend can't get me hard i only get a weak erection and the bad thing is she turns me on so much she'll grind on me flash me rub it infront of me tease me do everything and nothing changes in my head i can feel myself getting horny as, but my penis never follows i need to know what to do because im far to young to have ED and when i do masturbate to porn it takes me 30 minutes... is this normal?
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AND i had depression deep depression before i met this girl
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oh yeah and in that week sometimes it would be up to 3-4 times a day
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Newbe here, Found this form 5 weeks ago and Stopped ALL PORN. In the first week I M/with out porn only fantasy of real women. Had a weak E and the second time I tried M/very week E and no O but did ejaculate. Like most here I began PMO at 13yrs first there was only pictures and later play boy and other Mags. I also visited prostitutes in my early 20's I think M and the prostitutes retarded my social development. I used to visit P weekly and would M at least daily until the next visit. I was very shy and when I had a date I was not very adp at getting sex (I was too passive) Most of the time I would ditch the girl and head downtown. I continued to MPO for a few years and met my first wife, I had great sex but continued to MPO a lot, my wife worked 3-11 so I had a lot of time alone and tape players came out and some of you guys know the porn videos were the  hottest thing around. I think that is when it  started to mess with my mind. I had only a few ED problems during that time. But I think my perception of women was off because of porn.  My wife and I divorced and I was alone for a couple of years and used videos a lot PMO every day. I blew most of the opportunities I had with real women because of performance anxiety fear and probably because of porn induced ED. I did know that excessive MPO had a negative effect when it came to real women. So when I met my currant wife I stopped M P and things improved greatly and I had a good sex life for a number of years. I did continue to M without Porn.  After a few years and my wife had a lot of medical problems and 3 abdominal operations  she lost interest in sex. About this time internet porn became available if you had hi speed internet. It was a lot easier to use the lop top in my home office that to argue, grovel for sex. As time bent on real sex became a problem. I also found out I was type ll diabetic and had to take pills for blood pressure and cholesterol. I blamed the ED on the pills and got cialis. I was able to gets erections but they were only so so.  I kept using the porn and things only got worse, Last November i tried to have sex with my wife and it was a failure even with cialis. Tried again a week later and the same result. On the 15 of november I found this blog and it all made sense to me and my ED problem. I have not look at porn and only M twice since then. Both times were bad. Last week (week 5) I had sex with my wife (with cialis) and it was a great success. I have not had any morning wood or spontaneous erections. I have been testing for erections by M just to see quality with only fantasy with real women. I get good erections and I stop. I hope this is not interfering with the reboot process. Also I am wondering what would happen if I had sex with another partner, Once a month is what led me to internet porn. I know I will never go back to porn ever. I even try not to look at nudity in movies or pictures of women. Any comments would be appreciated.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I recommend you don't touch your penis for the next 30 days, only your gf/wife can touch it. Analyze the results you get from this... DEFINITELY stay away from porn.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
update...
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I figured out a way to occupy my time at home so I don't fall into PMO trap. I found a free online game to play against other people. "Texas hold'em poker"...This is so much fun and there is a lot of competition. This definitely keeping my mind off porn and masturbation....

Just a tip I wanted to share...
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Thats a great idea. A game on your computer to occupy your computer usage time is great to help avoiding porn. And games are better than surfing the web, because surfing the web guarantees that you will have arousing images thrown at you, without even looking for them, and that could trigger a relapse.
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hey, just wondering, can u get an ED pill via over the counter or does it have to be prescribed. having the same problems and 19 and have been watching porn for quite a bit now, since freshman year. and the girl who is really in to me wants to have sex tomorrow. your advice is greatly appreciated.
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Im starting to believe this has alot to do with girls not giving head and/or not turning their dudes on enough..  I'm starting to feel as though I'm really just not super-attracted to my girlfriend on a physical level and she doesn't give head so that might be the main problem.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
That could be the issue or not the issue. Keep in mind porn and messing with a lot freaky women during your life-time makes you want more dirty sexual acts. But if you think about it, oral sex is not a necessary in a relationship. Your girl should be able to turn you on without doing that. Oral sex is a luxury and not a necessity. If you stay away from watching porn  for a long time and possibility masturbation once in a while, there's a possibility you will start to look at women from a different angle and not as sex objects.
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now into third week of no p&m and can feel my libido starting to pick up and wud really like some p&m but will not give in. still no erections but where I always found my mates wife attractive I am now finding her very sexually attractive which i suppose is a good sign!! she is a very touchy feely type which doesnt help!
P .
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Hey,

Great thread, I have a question myself;

I've been addicted to the PMO trap for years now, probably since I was 14 or so, I'm in my mid-twenties now. Anyway I've noticed as of recently along with my wanting to view nastier and nastier porn, I've lost my "staying" power and ejaculate quite quickly. I went from being able to masturbate around 20-30 minutes down to something like five minutes or even sometimes one or two!

Now if I masturbate without the use of porn I have to work sometime to get up, and take a laboriously long time to ejaculate.

Could this be a side-effect of the PMO addiction? I'm still able to get a decent erection, although I have noticed my morning erection is gone, still have one during the night thankfully. I've also noticed just sitting at the computer makes me ache really bad for porn. I'm single and not sexually active so it makes things worse. Some days the feeling is so bad I start to tremble just looking up mundane info or watching a dvd :(

Could these things be related to my addiction?

Thanks!
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1828226 tn?1323568848
You probably lost your staying power because you masturbate too too much to porn.

And since you watch so much porn and use that for visual stimulation of course masturbating without it will be very difficult.

Yes, sitting in front of your computer will make u think of porn because if you think about it, there's not too excitement to find on the internet when surfing unless you are looking at porn.

Yes, for the simple fact you do not have a gf in your life overcoming no PMO will be very difficult.

All this stuff is related to your PMO addiction. You seriously need to practice some self-control and get away from porn. Do you like to play online games? This could be a way to distract you from wanting to watch porn. The whole idea is to keep your mind off porn and masturbation so you can recover from your addiction.
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watching a girlfriend on webcam counts as porn?
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Hello,

Thanks for the quick reply!

I agree wholeheartedly with you, porn is definitely the problem. I self-medicate with porn, I have severe anxiety which I'm currently in therapy for, it actually made me loose my job a few months back and I'm trying to get back on track.

Should I bring up my porn addiction with my therapist?

Like years ago when I had the urge to PMO I could just shake it off, now it feels like a brick to the stomach, it literally knocks the wind out of me and I just act out :( I consider myself a tough person, I can take **** and put up with it, but porn just ruins me...

Sorry I don't play videogames, but I love movies and reading, the only problem is that my PC is my entrainment machine, blu-ray player hi-def monitor etc, so it compounds the problem...

I actually took the ideal from another poster and set this as my firefox homepage, great ideal! Does anyone know of any good porn blockers for firefox or for download?

Awesome thread, thanks again!
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Yes it does (somewhat)... Even though you are interacting with your gf over webcam when u get excited you start touching yourself and it's not her plus you are getting excited from visual stimulation.

What I am saying is this is okay to do but not so often. In person interraction is the way to go. Believe it or not, going to a strip club and interacting with strippers (because they are live people) is much less than porn compare to webcam sex.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Yes you can bring it up with your therapist but your therapist probably won't think that's the problem. Us people are discovering on our own that internet porn is a problem.

As far as porn blockers, you don't need them. You should be strong enough to not visit porn instead of needing porn blockers. Plus this will make you a stronger person because this shows you have self-control.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
update and still going strong...
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maybe you guys can point me in the right direction.

i have been single for over 4 years (no sex, nothing) and did the PMO thing almost every day the whole time. like others i escalated the type of P i viewed to where that was the only type that did it for me.

along comes a woman i have had the hots for quite some time. one of my biggest fantasies too. im 26 she is 35 and latin american my type of woman. three nights ago it actually got hot and heavy. go to bedroom, im hard until it really needs to be and then nothing. next night, damn near same thing, turned on at first only difference was the condom did it this time (never used one). third night mirrors night two.  

now i know it can be some performance anxiety mixed in, but that has gone away after the first time for me. i have not PMO since the first night, so i guess abstain from PMO? i really dont feel like losing her over this. she says she "understands" and wants to help.

any advice is awesome
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I don't know how to say this but dude 3 times in a row is a lot... Most women just move on. I hope u didn't lose her already. But if I was you, try to stay away from having sex with her for like a couple of weeks. Definitely stay away from PMO for the next 2 weeks.
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Maybe you should use some ED pill, only before your total reboot
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1923088 tn?1338603606
I've made it 31 days with out M/P

This is the absolute longest I've gone since I started M in my mid teens.  Porn really had my brain screwed up pretty bad.  I noticed a major change in how I feel around women now, a certain level of excitement that I had lost.

Trust me when I say I've been tempted to M but I've resisted the urge by looking at how far I've made it.  Before when I tried to stop I'd relapse after few days.  

I'm going to continue to avoid porn and no M and just deal with real women.

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This is my fourth post here.
It's been 63 days since I saw any form of porn nor masturbated using my hand.
It's day 16 - my record so far, since I masturbated at all.

Stop P/M and get a nice, patient and understanding girl - and you'll be cured for sure!!
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same problem here, to much porn watching
addicted to the to hottest chicks i can find online
to me it has a lot to do with seeing things, if i can watch me ******* a girl i can get an erection and *** easily
if i lick ***** and dont see much i loose it,
jerking of is no problem, watching porn and jerking just the way i want it makes me come in minutes
need to quit the visual stuff, thats a problem for me
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Hello fellow travelers, it has been 6 weeks since I have looked at any porn. And 5 weeks since I Masturbated and 4 days since I touched my penis.
Last night I had a very bad night. I could not sleep. Thoughts about porn scenes keep creeping into my head as I tossed and turned and tried to fall asleep. My hand would instinctly touch my self. It was a real battle to keep my promise to my not to touch it until I felt healed. I think my brain was trying to get me to go back to the old routine (PMO)
The good news is that I held firm and did not indulge.
I hope this is a good sign that the healing is progressing. I have faith in this process. I am also beginning to understand how porn has affected my relationship with women.

Advice to other new guys like me, read all the material available here. There are a lot of to learn how you got screwed up. I wish I had found out about problem a long time ago. I have alway heard and still read that masturbation is good for you. So I guess it is ok on a limited bases but not with porn. Your brain likes porn but gets bored easily and wants higher levels and more strange or weird stuff to keep the game going.
I hate that this is taking so long.
Stay strong and don't give in to a brain wants back in the game.

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Last time I posted I was flying high with a great sex life and I knew my ED was cured.  I recently went through a couple months of relationship trouble and no sex.  During this time I was frustrated and gave in to PMO for a while.  

I felt pretty bad about it, like I had let myself down.  When I began my reboot my will was powerful, and over time I have come to rely more on my girlfriend's affection to keep me away from PMO.

I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing though.  Last night we reconciled our problems and let me just say I am still cured.  Rebooting works and it is no exaggeration to say that it changed my life for the better.  I had never experienced a real, meaningful relationship before giving up PMO.  Any man can do the same.
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I too am trying to stop masturbating and porn.  I have finally put it together that that is what is likely cause my ED problems.  I have been taking Viagra but see that only as a band aid and not a fix.  I look at porn and masturbate at least twice a day.  I can always get hard with the porn but not with my partner.  Really a bad situation.  I have even looked at porn right before sex to get it up and hopefully stay excited.

I really think that it is the porn now and excessive masturbation.  So this is my New Years Resolution. 4 days so far. - no masturbation or porn.

Oh... porn can also be isolating as you do not interact with people in relationships but in fantasy only.

Thank you for your posts glad I found this forum
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1828226 tn?1323568848
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL AND KEEP THE NO PMO GOING FOR 2012.
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Hello all, ive noticed a little contradicting info on this site,

In one of the faq pages it says that this problem is 100% reversable but on another faq page it says that spontanious erections may never return, im not being defeatist here but the second statement contradicts the 100% statement.

anyone agree?
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I have a situation and wonder if anybody else has had same problem.  When I have a girlfriend for awhile and have developed emotional feelings for her, I have had no problem getting hard.  Instant erection when we start making out.  However, after a breakup, and back out there and try to have sex with a new girl that I may not really have any feelings for yet other than physical attration, I experience ED, especially if a one night stand attempt.  Very embarrasing, but I think it has to be that I almost need to really care about the girl emotionally and have feelings (love) for her to get an erection.  For random girls, even though physically attractive to me, my brain is almost telling me that I should not just be having random sex with them for pleasure, but develop real feelings for them first, and then my brain says it is okay now to get an erection and have sex after I get to know them.  Anybody else have this problem?  Not sure what fix there is for this other than ED Medication.  I maybe do PMO once a week even with a girlfriend, so not sure how that is playing into my situation.  From what I have read here, stopping all PMO is definitely the way to go first, and that will be a least one thing to eliminate from what may be causing my ED with new girls.  
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Just to add to my post:

Its seems that the loss of spontanious erections forever seems to be evident on alot of the recovery stories,
Alot of the recovered peoples seem to state that they can A) get sufficient erections for sex B) obtain erections when kissing, hugging etc where they didnt before,

Now the above kinda sounds great but doesnt seem as 100% recovery to me as stimulation via touch even if not by a sexual touch is needed as stated by recovered users.

Does this mean that when rebooted you still wont have horny days where you are getting erections for no reason other than the fact that you are...... horny? not because of touch, love and care but because you want sex.

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