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Too much porn/masturbation cause ED?
Hi I m a 28 year old and suffer some degree of ED in recent. I start masturbated since I m 19 and usually use porn as a form of visual stimiulation. I have observed that I have lost the ability to maintain erect during intercource or I only get weak erection. My question is: does masturbation in association with porn will "exhaust" my interest towards sex and create a negative impact on my ability to get aroused in real sex? I m worried cause I think I m still young to have physical cause  for ED. Any thought?
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I am so pleased (well maybe pleased is the wrong word...) to find this but have no idea now how to deal with talking to my guy about it.  I'm only 29 but have been in a marriage and a number of sexual relationships all of which have been great sexually but I have never felt so close and in love as I do with the guy I have been with since the start of the year.  

But I cannot turn him on... my ** and hand job skills are completely useless and for all those guys out there having the same problem he is... not cuming... having to sort himself out whilst I lay there feeling more and more useless... try and find a solution cause I am definitely at the point where despite being crazy about the guy I can't deal with it any longer... my confidence sexually is totally in shatters and I end up in tears after he's fallen asleep each time... I've even spoken to my ex husband for reassurance that it isn't me which is craziness in itself.  I'm not this insecure emotional wreck that this is turning me into... I need to make a bash at speaking to him about it but what can I say? Have no idea how to approach it with him... we just haven't talked about it... it's crazy... 99 per cent sure it's too much masturbation and porn that's the problem cause I know he has a big thing for both and he tries so hard to get turned on enough by me but ends up reverting to making everything as porn-like as possible in desperation... :(  It's turning into a vicous circle cause I now feel so sexually unattractive and unimportant that I'm going to become just that...

I would always have said that sex wasn't a deal breaker in a relationship... I'm starting to think I was wrong :(  
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first let me say that i think it effects women the same as men when they have other images in their head to get turned on enough to get off during sex with their one and only...

I am in a relationship going on 3 yrs. he has complained that he has problems with his '****' since his early 30's. i calculate that to be roughly when he got such ready access to porn on the internet. he's 47 now. well, there's no real problem with the quality of the sex - at least for me. admittedly, when i discovered he's hard-core into porn (i even figured our his fetishes) - it turned me on more than i ever expected. i wanted to be his ****. and that, i was already. but now its like thats what it takes for him to be able to perform. he is large enough that i get fully stimulated, even when hes soft. but now i think that i know about what he has to think of to get turned on...it kind of makes me feel like i'm not the special one. i have loved him so much its painful. i'm really sick in love. we are both crazy in love. but, this abusive obsession steals him away from real life. he doesnt live with me. we are supposed to move in and get married...what will he do when he can escape to that world anymore? he hasnt spent a night in my home with me in over 4 months, before that it was like 4 months. i really believe its because he cant get away from his addiction. so, its stealing him away from me -- from us. i want to make love to him. i want to be his **** -- but his ONLY ****.

please guys. abstain. give yourself totally and completely to your woman if she is THE ONE. it is very painful. it may very well break us up. he doesnt know this, but i already know everything and he cant admit anything. he wont talk about this -- well, hes not a talker. he always says "you know what you need to know" aka that i love you and youre the one... the old phrase, you can say it all day long but your actions speak louder than words...hahaa. he doesnt speak it, but his actions ...well, u know the rest.

i have sent this blog link to him. he can become a WHOLE man again if he really reads the testimonials and gives it up. you can tell which comments are BS and which ones are serious. Every person should try to abstain.

just give it an honest try for a month. if things are better then what have you got to loose.
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About a week ago, I poured scrupulously over the comments in this post and found that many of the experiences that were intimated resonated very deeply with my own. At the age of eighteen, I too began a porn regime to self medicate my own insecurities and fear of rejection. Porn was an "easy" escape though at the time I was unaware of the trade off. About 9-12 months later I noticed precisely what others here have as well, that porn had all but dissolved my performance but also interest in real-life sexual relationships.
About a year or so later I attempted to quit porn cold turkey, and after a few unsuccessful tries, I was able to go about 6 months without porn or masturbation. Three months into it I was feeling better than ever, my need for human intimacy and social contact were at the level of my teenage years. It's like all those stories you'd hear from people "when I was a teen and my hormones were ragin' ect. this was in my early twenties though.
Sadly I once again fell into my addictive cycle but the good news is that I new my sexual energy and virility can and will return once I "dried" up.
Flash forward to a week ago, upon reading all of the wonderful and inspiring comments I have once again given up this unhealthy addiction. One thing that I would like to add to this discussion that I think was only talked around but not taken on directly is the reasons we are finding ourselves in this position. It's easy to simply blame the pornographers for marketing this product but the reality is that all of us most likely have underlying issues that gave us a propensity toward this affliction. Whether it was that we lacked intimacy, or had a fear of rejection, social isolation, insecure about our bodies or some aspect of our physiognomy the point is no matter what the issue until you address the underlying root you have essentially handicapped yourself to freeing yourself from this addiction. Find the underlying cause that drove you to a false intimacy and getting rid of this addiction will be easier as well as STAYING  away from this addiction.

Also I have find a psychologist who writes extensively about this topic and I highly encourage anyone to take the time read over her work and incorporate it into your recovery. She doesn't make this a moral issue or preach a "fire and brimstone" style scare approach but highlight what gets missed when we substitute real intimacy for pornography.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201003/porn-goes-performance-goes-down

Anyone who wishes to have a fufilling long-term relationship or at least any actual relationships should check into this, find someone you can talk to and share your story and do anything and everything to break this addiction and solve your underlying issue. There's absolutely no reason to live a life you weren't meant to live and yes you may have wasted some time in your life but the past happens to us all, just continue to look FORWARD. I wish everyone the best and I will as well post updates from time to time on my progress!!!
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People, take this very seriously.  I am in the same spot as all of you have been.  I have been pretty chronically handling myself for the past 15 years.  The god damn intetnet got faster and so did I.  It ruined just about every relationship I've ever had.  About 6 years ago I met the love of my life.  I was able to stop for about 6 months, during the beginning of our relationship.  It was the most fantastic six months of my life.  Then I got back into porn and it slowly went downhill.  We stayed together, even though I wasn't ever able to perform, which just made her feel like she was an ugly duckling.  One day I truly felt like I was losing her to this obsession, so I decided the only thing to do would be ask for her hand in marriage to keep this wonderful woman in my life.  She happily agreed and we wed the next year.

Well...it's bee a little more than one year into our marriage and she has had enough.  She has been fighting for years to keep us together and have a healthy sex life, but I have been too close-minded to realize that this would end up costing me the only thing that really ever meant anything in my life.  She quickly started making new friends and meeting new people.  I'm no dummy, so I caught on to her having a new male friend fairly quickly and brought it up to her this morning.  It's too late.  My beautiful bride is done with me.  She has fallen out of love and I'm out on my own.  This is the worst feeling I've ever had and it's not worth it for anyone.

Listen to my warning...this could happen to everyone that's posted anything on this site...don't be that person...
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33 year old male speaking here.

The BOTTOMLINE IS THIS...

1) Refrain from porn PERIOD... It's not reality.
2) Refrain from other adult sites too. Some of you know websites where you watch women get naked on their webcams for free. Thats not good either! Also refrain from phonesex or webcam sex, anything that makes you touch yourself instead of a woman.

3) If you're circumcised, you probably been desensitizing your penis for years. Wear a condom at night, cut off the tip so you can pee and do this for a month. This will protect your penis from rubbing up against your bedsheets. This will also stop you from masturbating at night. This will also help you gain back sensitivity in your penis so you can go back to enjoying real sex AND WITH A CONDOM.

4) Stay away from touching your penis PERIOD. You programmed your brain to think an orgasm is more pleasureable with your hands instead of a woman's touch. That's not good! You need to re-programmed your brain. I tried this for a month and it felt so GOOD when a woman touched my penis. I thought I was being molested LOL.

5) If you do need to masturbate, do it once a week. If you do masturbate, use only your thumb and index finger. Stimulate the head by just rubbing on it up and down but never grip your whole penis head with your hand JUST THE THUMB AND INDEX. AND ALWAYS USE SOME LUBRICATION FOR THE STIMULATION. DON'T RUB DRY!!

Do all of this for like a month and you will see improvements with your erections and penis sensitivity.
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I think this thread may have saved my sex life.  I recently came to the conclusion that an addiction to porn and masturbation had effectively killed my sex life with my wife.  I stopped on September first of this year and am determined to get my groove back.

There are a lot of reasons this happens to us, but we all end up in the same situation.  For me, my wife began to experience chronic health issues that halted our sex life for months at a time.  I turned more and more to porn and masturbation.  Now that she is healthy enough for sex, I have no desire to do it with a "real" woman.  I cleaned out my computer of every single picture and video.  I packed up all my DVDs and locked everything up in a safe.  I hope someday to just throw the whole thing away.  I intend to go a month without any sexual activity of any kind then see what happens.  When I have proven that I can live without it, I will reintroduce masturbation (no porn) and sex back into my life at a reasonable rate.  Once or twice a week seems normal to me considering I was doing it 5 or 6 times a day on my worse days.

Thank you so much, all of you, for sharing your stories.  A great weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
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Hi all,

31 y.o. guy here with the same story as all of you. But, I think I am getting my groove back and here is how :

1) absolutely STOP watching hardcore porn. If you must watch girls, watch really softcore stuff. The idea is that your brain needs to build the fantasies himself. Anyway, watch as little porn as possible altogether.

2) get OUT. Cut your intimacy moments. Join a team. Find a job. Do something where it is impossible for you to wank and if possible, where there is a little bit of competitive spirit.

3) with your girl : tell her. Get a girl who is willing to take her time. Tell her you might not be able to be super hard or have an orgasm at first, that it might take time. She will understand. It doesn't stop you from pleasuring her with your hands, mouth, voice... Take this as an opportunity to be the sweetest guy she's ever been with. Take things gradually. Put the lights out, all of them. Instead of focusing on the visual, focus on the sensation. Close your eyes and let go. Use your imagination to visualize the girl. If there is something kinky you'd like to do with her, keep it in mind. Try to build up fantasies in your mind.

This has worked for me. Yesterday, I had the biggest orgasm of my life, and I hadn't been able to perform in a while. I couldn't even come anymore. I can't say that I'm 100% where I used to be now, but I'm sure we can. We just need to stop being spoiled brats. We need to deserve the sex we have, and fantasize over it. After all, for all living beings, reproduction is the ultimate victory, so it is meant to be challenging. Keep it as such.

Good luck to you all!
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Thank you guys...your stories are exactly what I am going through..I had ED for two years (I am 27 now)..masturbated on the average 3-4 times a day since I was 15..never had problems, and never had much experience with women until I was 18..no problems, I could do both women and constant masturbation..until I went on a long period of work-12 hours a day, and no interaction with women for 9 months or so...and of course masturbating relaxed me and made me feel good..until it was time to perform again with a woman...BAM-complete failure!!
The ED I am experiencing can be coupled with extreme ability NOT to concentrate on the women I am with...I am totally spaced out. This of course has lead to performance anxiety..So the cycle emerging is- Too much porn, become desensitized just to porn and your TOUCH, when your with a woman-she doesn't excite you-not the slightest, next you develop performance anxiety because of the failure to achieve an erection during a hot and heavy session...go back to porn where you can easily get an erection, to how many women you want, feeling relieved! Have I described it in good detail?
With this porn induced ED, at least for me, I have lost all ability to achieve spontaneous erections, not a single one...morning wood disappears for months on end, feel no sensation when grinding with women, feel nothing seeing a nude woman in a strip club or when she even hints at sex..nothing at all...but behold I can only get an erection when I TOUCH myself and only when I touch MYSELF..Anyone exactly fall in this type of lifestyle?
Again, I would like to thank everyone for their honesty..feels GREAT to know I am not the only one...Bless you all
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I'm in the same boat. been watching porn since 14, urologist says all tests are ok, it's psychological. Only time i was able to have sex successfully was during my brief marriage and now looking back at it the times i had spontaneous erections during that time were probably after abstaining from porn. Although the idea of my partner watching porn with me is great, i realise this can not be a reality for me, i have to abstain and get back to having a 'real' relationship enjoying life and two way intimacy, not watching it on a screen.  I realised i had the problem about 4 months ago. My first attempt to abstain lasted about 11 days.  7 days ago i started again, after 2 or 3 days i notice i was feeling hornier in the mornings and the erections were harder, but sometimes i feel like MBing but i just dont have any libido, it's almost like its a mechanical desire to do it but the **** just stays limp. Which is good as i remember why i started this journey, hopefully after 2 months i can have the confidence to further a relationship in 'real life'.

I wanted to post so i have somwhere to be accountable to if i fall of the wagon. i know i must give porn up for life as i'm missing the joys of life that i should be enjoying without anxiety...

will post again hopefully at the end of 2 months of abstaining.
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PS i'm now 35.
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Just wanted to let everyone know there are a bunch of sites dedicated to this sort of thing. One that i have found the most helpful is called reuniting.info. Its all about MB and P addiction. Go on this site, there is a ton of info for you. Just use the search feature, if you'd like to you can post (although i don't). Still there are alot of others that go through this.

Also to the people abstaining. Yes its true its the only way to get better. I have read stories of people abstaining and getting better in as little as 2 weeks, but some take a couple months. Don't get frustrated, stick to the plan.

The important thing is leave the porn out forever. And at least initially leave the MB alone for a couple weeks, give your body a chance to heal. If you do go back to MB only do it once or twice a week using ur imagination.
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Thanks pocketfours,

I will take a look, there is also once called candeocan.com but it appears to be a pay site, i knew it wouldn't be long before someone started taking advantage of people in this position, hopefully reuniting.info is free.

How are you getting on, whereabouts are you on the road to recovery?

Thank you (and others) for your support
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Why you shouldn't masterbait to porn.
1. It can shrink your penis, and make you loose erection during intercourse.
2. It "desensitizes" you to the real thing.
3. every time you ejaculate, you loose zinc. This is used in brain function.
4. Porn can be addicting. some people masterbait 4 times a day, and this causes erectile disfunction.
5. How do you think God feels about it. I bet God wants to puke every time someone masterbaits to porn.
Do it the Natural way, Fantasizing. Although some people think porn is the only thing that gets them horney they are wrong. After not watching porn for a couple weeks, your mind clears, and more things turn you on.
You should masterbait 3 times a week, without porn ever.
So the next time you find yourself on the verge of looking up porn, think to yourself, "What would jesus do?"  
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It's been close to a month, and I've only had two slip-ups, I have also noticed a marked increase in my overall sex drive and am looking forward to further gains. I'm happy with my progress and I understand that I will have slip ups occasionally but the point is to not get discouraged or use it as an excuse to slip back into old routines an addictions.
About a month from now I will again post and will hopeful have more good news about my overall progress. I plan on "rewarding" myself if I can make it to Halloween without masturbation, internet porn, pictures ect. (the reward won't be any of the former)
I wish you all the best on your quest and I still believe we can make it and beat this addiction!!!
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I have to say that you gentlemen have probably saved me from years of future pain and mental anguish that will result from continuing with these two unhealthy habits.  I have gone one week without doing either action, and I stumbled on this post last night.  I feel like I should give my testimonial in hopes that it might help someone else out there loose themselves from these negative habits:

I discovered M on my own when I was about 11.  It felt good so I thought ... "let's do it as much as possible".  At the minimum, I did it first thing in the morning and last thing before going to sleep to fantasizing only.  Then when I was 13, I discovered P for the first time.  It made my M experience even "better", so I started using P with it.  I had a few VHS tapes that I collected it on.  I evolved into magazines after that, and I used both of them daily.  Whenever my folks would go out, I would immediately get into M & P before they got back.  It came to a point where I would sometimes do it as much as 4x a day, and nothing seemed wrong with it since I was not sexually active.  

By college, I had boxes full of mags and P videos.  I even had a few roommates that discovered my collection and I felt no shame or guilt because of it.  I was too zoned in to care.  Then I met my first girlfriend who I was sexually active with.  I was able to share her with my M & P.  The only thing was that I could never “finish” with her no matter how hard I tried.  I reasoned that it was mental because I did not want to get her pregnant, and I continued with my M & P.

I started having intimacy issues with another girlfriend.  In fact, one day I just could not get it up when I was around her.  However, when I was in my M & P, I had no issues whatsoever.  Without knowing it, I had conditioned myself to be into the fantasy more than reality.  In fact, when these issues started to occur, it was right around the same time that my habit evolved into DVDs and internet P.  These struggles continued for years with other women, but I always rationalized a way to continue my M & P because I was hooked.

About one year ago, I started to recognize that the M & P WAS the reason I felt desensitized when I was with sexy, beautiful, real world women.  But I still could not stop.  Then I met someone who I am very into.  To date, I have not been able to perform around her at all unless I stimulate myself, which is what I have conditioned myself to do because of my M & P.  That was the last straw.

Right now, I am seeking help both online and in the real world.  Some have mentioned CandeoCan.com on this post.  It is a premium service, but it has gone a long way to help me understand what happens to the human body when you are hooked to M & P, and from my past experiences and behaviors, it ALL makes sense to me.  The strategies they use may seem too simple and too good to be true, but it has helped me tremendously in dealing with my urges so far, so I do recommend it (and no, I have neither an employee of CandeoCan nor have I been paid to say this).  

In closing, M & P IS addictive and it IS detrimental to men’s sexual health.  There are too many stories out there that are the same as mine for this to be merely a coincidence.  This is a real problem.  It is no different than being addicted to alcohol or drugs; P addiction is a chemical thing that involves your brain, which makes it difficult to break away from but not impossible.  I am on the road to doing it, and I encourage anyone reading this with a similar experience to do the same.  I will update people on my progress, and I wish the best of luck to others out there on the same odyssey as I am.

J.B.  
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I'm 33. I am also having same problem to get enough sexual arousal during sexual intercourse but able to have hard erection when maturbation while watching the porn. When i was ard 20 something, i kind of addict to porn website. Now i have problem with real sex life. My body is perfectly normal and able to have morning wood and erection while sleep. It is the NPT which indicate the body is normally function. Porn is definitely can poison our mind in long run. Our Mind is upmost important to stimulate the release of hormone from pituatry gland through neutrotrasmitter. If our brain is being stimulated by unrealistic porn/women in long run, it will "capture" the image and action of the porn. It make us more harder to stimulated sexually in real life. It is nothing wrong with the physical condition of our body or penis. It is the mind should be "cleaned up". Try to stop watching porn and try to image have sex with your girl friend or wife while maturbation to generate interest back on your sex partner. Remember don't maturbation too much.
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Hi Jonas,

Thank you for your testimonial. If you wish to help others (as i'm sure you do).  Perhaps you can elaborate on the following statement

"The strategies they use may seem too simple and too good to be true, but it has helped me tremendously in dealing with my urges so far"

I would not recommend anyone spending their money on a site like that (candeo con) if they can avoid it. I find it morally repugnant and anyone already on that site should share the information if it is that useful, if not, i think it's safe to assume the information is not worth sharing much less worth paying for.

There are plenty of free sites on the net regarding impotence.  As already stated on here, abstinence appears to be the best way forward, my erections are getting stronger and more lasting (its been 2 weeks without P or M), but i think it will be at least 2 months may be a lot more before i am 'cured'.  There is no quick fix to this (other than our favourite blue pill) and i will see out the time as a reminder to how dangerous watching P is. I don't want to have to spend months again going through this.

I will keep you all posted.
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It started slowly by watching the clips which some of my work mates had at job. on one of the clips there was a porn website, which I took and when at home, due to curiosity opened the website and started to  watch porn. At first it was disgusting and I vowed never to watch porn again, but after sometime I found some compulsion to go and watch in detail the same porn which was disgusting. From there on everything has been going from bad to worse. I dont know what to do. Am single person working as a programmer. I just dont know what to do. Am of the idea I get a girlfriend or a scrap internet connection to my home. Lol God help me am in a mess. Hope in life somethings you wish and they are. I could wish I stop watching porn forever, its taking my time and it killing me

Its late at night and I have just finished watching porn and mustabated twice. What should i do?

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My story is similar to many of yours.  For the last 2-3 years I've seen my use of M & P over the real thing increase more and more.  Over the last 6 months I've had about 3-4 real life sexual encounters and while having no problem getting hard I can't complete the act without becoming completely flaccid.  I'd attribute it to various things alcohol, anxiety (at times probably a valid factor), etc.  In the end though I know the culprit is M & P.  Some of you have already mentioned this; after a while the same P doesn't bring me the same satisfaction and I began looking for harder material.  The M has all but made me numb (literally and figuratively) to actual intercourse.  Every woman is going to feel loose compared to your hand.  
After running into this forum I'm now on day #15 of complete abstinence, my goal is 3 months...I'm scared even this won't cure my ED but we'll see.
FYI, I'm a physician myself and what you all say is true, this problem has yet to be fully recognized nor is it addressed in the medical community to the best of my knowledge.  Perhaps psychiatrists are seeing it more but I know I have not nor are urologists for that matter (And I don't have much contact with psychiatrists during work).
One final word, day #11 and 12 were the most difficult thus far, I think it is what a smoker or drug seeker feels in withdrawal as I felt like I had actual physiologic symptoms during those days of 'needing' to masturbate.  Coming back and reading this forum really helps me stay on track, will post again with updates of progress.  Good luck to everyone else trying to fight this problem and please keep posting, it really helps.
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Hi,

I sensed a bit of guilt and self-punishment in your words, hope it's just me (over)interpreting   your message, anyways i just wanted to let you know, as well as others that i lived this kind of rejection ;

I was in love with a girl, and everything went fine, but after i told her about my problem, she kept getting away from me , and that was devastating i must confess, seeing that she was already out with someone else. After that i stayed one year alone! and i was getting deeper into solitude and i had to make a choice, either sink or rise

And i started flirting with girls again, eventually ;) and after some time together i exposed the matter to one of them, and she was very supportive and willing to help!! i was really surprised, and another girl guessed on her own, that i had a problem and said that those things happen to girls too (porn addiction,sexual dysfunction, lack of sex-drive) and was willing to help too!

The point that i'm trying to make is that your girl/ex-wife wasn't the woman you needed, cause there is more to life than just screwing,

Also, all you people refraining from masturbating to porn are doing things in half, and that's why most of us collapse back into that vicious circle of P and M.

The Solution is simple; you should behave like nature was meant to be, stopping porn is really great and i congratulate you, but you'll still be consuming yourself and feeling guilty, so you should go out and talk to girls, meet and date girls, trust me this is a level you'll be crossing sooner or later and is essential.

Of course you won't tell a girl you just met about the problem but once your relationship gets more intimate, you can confess to her ;)

See, you have to realize how much life is grandiose and that all of this wil eventually end, me , you, the girls of porn, those fears that haunt us, those moments of hope and laughter, those deceptions and broken hearts, we'll fade away so instead of waiting in your dark corner, why don't you try, why don't you try...?

Best of luck
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