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Too much porn/masturbation cause ED?
Hi I m a 28 year old and suffer some degree of ED in recent. I start masturbated since I m 19 and usually use porn as a form of visual stimiulation. I have observed that I have lost the ability to maintain erect during intercource or I only get weak erection. My question is: does masturbation in association with porn will "exhaust" my interest towards sex and create a negative impact on my ability to get aroused in real sex? I m worried cause I think I m still young to have physical cause  for ED. Any thought?
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I can't believe others seem to have the same problem as me. I have no problems having an orgasm with porn but when it comes to the real thing I keep losing my erection. She keeps thinking it's her and she doesn't turn me on. That is so far from the truth. I find her sexy and gorgeous. We are both 50 yrs old. I have been masturbating to porn for a very long time and sometimes daily. I will kick the habit of PMO (Porn - Masturbation - Orgasm). I did it with cigs a long time ago, I feel I can do this too. I want to satisfy my girl and orgasm.
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Hello guys, I'm experiencing the same problem as you.
I've known about this for about 3 years but I didn't pay attention to it because there were no girls in my life. I'm extremely desensitized to sex. At some point I had to download super hardcore porn to even get it up. I mean stuff like hardcore BDSM, rape fantasies and etc.
Recently a girl appeared and I'm in the process of flirting and building things up, so I decided to hire a hooker to check if the problem is still there.
The result - yep, it is. She was extremely hot, but I didn't feel attraction to her at all. I managed to do the job with maybe 60% erection (after self stimulation) and it was extremely hard to finish and annoying to her. I didn't even feel much pleasure from the insertion and got annoyed. This shocked me quite a bit since If I watched the same stuff in a movie, I'd be hard as a rock and finish in 30 seconds.
So from now on I'm stopping all masturbation and access to porn. I'm hoping not to ruin the progression of the flirt with the other girl by delaying it. Any ideas how to proceed with that ? Telling her is absolutely out of the question. I'm thinking of getting viagra if we get too close, but I'm afraid that it might ruin the progress I will make.
I'm also considering joining a gym to improve my physical shape and possibly libido, since I'm a bit fat anyway. So even if the things with the girl don't work out, I will have a better chance of finding another one. What do you think about this ?
I think that sharing this in a group will improve my chance of not giving up on the addiction, so I will write here regularly on the changes I'm noticing.
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Hi, I asked these questions before but got no reply - dont know if it was missed but would mind some feedback!

Am 37 days no PMO - this is very difficult- really feel in the void and am unsure if this is gonna work..however, doctors have told me im fine physically. I dont know what else it could be!!

1. even watching porn, i still need manual stimulation to get erect. do people have (know of others who have had) this issue??

2. I have extremely low ejaculate volume-- could this be due to weak erections?? I know people are not doctors but anyone else have this issue??

appreciated feedback-thanks!
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1828226 tn?1323568848
try to avoid being around her for 2 weeks if you can. in the meantime, no porn and no masturbating...

Don't touch your penis at all!
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1828226 tn?1323568848
1. I have this same issue but I don't worry about it as long as I can get erections when I'm around my gf. But the reason you don't get instant erections with watching porn is because you are used to seeing naked women. You already know what naked women look like and what they are about on camera. You are a grown man. Your mind knows the different from a naked lady in front of you versus a naked lady on your computer screen. Don't worry about your erections with porn because it's just the screen, not reality.

2. As long as your penis ejaculates, that is all women care about. Your sperm doesn't to shoot across the room and a lot doesn't need to come out. It's not that deep... But my penis shoots out a good amount of sperm but that's all it does. Personally speaking, I'm happy I can still ejaculate and ejaculate when with a woman.
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Well I blew it, masturbated today.  The urge and discomfort were very bad, rationalized, etc...Did not use porn, as I think that is the real culprit here.  On the bright side, no porn and ultimately unsatisfying. Don't think I'll run back to it real soon. My poor libido doesn't know which side is up right now.  Not even that great an erection, sad to say, thought it would be bursting after 10 days.  If you had asked me if I could make it to 10 days, I would have said no, so that's something to build on.
Starting over, don't see why I can't make it longer this time. This is tough, (hard to rewire the old brain) but I believe in what I've read here, thanks to all...
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Thanks.
yea, my main concern are the erections. Im hoping it will be different with women but right now I think im in the midst of a serious flatline. have to hang in there and wade through I guess.
37 days and counting - its fairly tough but Im pushing for 90 days. Nothing to lose! really hope this works..
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1828226 tn?1323568848
If you are concerned with your erections, think about this....

When you are just sitting there and thinking about a woman you know and you're thinking about sexual stuff you want to do with her, do you get any sort of erection? If the answer is yes than your mind and penis is fine.
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Be patience it will work it took me 60 days to get better erection. I believe it's not full erection but it is good enough for intercourse. I will wait till 90 days like others. Some people waited 130 days too. Seeing is believing it won't hurt to Try.
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love a challenge: as i said, I only get an erection through manual stimulation.

However, I have had morning wood on the very rare occasion and i have had the standard blood tests for ED so physically im hoping im fine.

Thanks Ashwo - will keep going for sure. Yeah, i know 4 months may be necessary too. Would be nice to see a little improvement but I guess in terms of the YPOP website - im in a serious flatline phase.

The logic of the whole site makes sense to me, and I seem to fit the profile for someone who would be affected by this. Just really hoping it works and will give it my best shot. Cant say I wouldnt like to masturbate (even w/o porn) but not going to because I dont want to set myself back any longer that it may take.
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I've seen a lot of the same questions asked on here. To help, I would suggest first viewing this video series:

http://yourbrainonporn.com/your-brain-on-porn-series

Following that, numerous common questions are answered here:

http://yourbrainonporn.com/ask-us
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First off, all of you guys have been an absolute encouragement to me, and I thank each and everyone of you guys. =)

I am around 2 weeks free of masturbating with porn, but just last week I masturbated normally in the shower. Im suprised it erected for longer than usual, soo it must be working!

But as I type this, I am sooo tempted to PMO again, or just M with out P. What should i do? Should I just M, to get it out of my system? or resist it? Thanks heaps guys and keep goin strong. =)
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At 37 days you should be right in the middle of the flatline. Some guys who started youg can take well over 120 days, and continue to improve for months after that.

If it's not porn-induced ED than what else could it be?
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It has been 10 days so far without porn.. and I feel the difference...
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1828226 tn?1323568848
You are tempted to masturbate to porn because you masturbated last week, still reminiscing about it and can't get it off your mind. That's why we suggest everyone to sustain from masturbating during your recovery because it keeps your dopamine/prolactin levels high.

In my opinion, don't masturbate and most importantly do not touch your penis during the recovery. Any teasing is tempting to relapse.

You need to start telling yourself you can get thru this. Get out the house more often. Stay away from all things that tempt you to PMO.

If you masturbate, you're going to seriously disappoint yourself. Let a couple more days go by and you should start to lose the urge to masturbate or look at porn. You can do it!!!
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Young men take longer to recover? Could you give an average of time to recover from ED? I'm 19, by the way. thank you
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I just want to say I just realize I have had no discomfort in my testicles within the past 40 days. I use to get discomfort sometimes back when I was masturbating. I have to assume my discomfort in my testicles was coming from my excessive masturbation.
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Day 7 of no porn and no mastrubation. Totally numb. In fact, I've to check now and then to make sure it hasnt fallen off.
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Hey guys, the thing with the girl has been developing even further and I find i hard to avoid her because I'm afraid that she might want to start a relationship and have sex. It's really painful to watch her, knowing that we both like each other, and being forced to avoid any intimate interaction with her. This is more painful to me than the lack of porn or masturbation. And I'm afraid that If I don't do anything to at least keep her interested, she might look for someone else. Telling her about this is most likely going to drive her away, so I have to find another solution.
Is there any way to speed up the recovery ? I would do anything !
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Wanna feel just like old time once again..
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No such thing as an average. I mean guys who started young on high speed internet porn. That's the key. Thye have wired their brains for a particular level on novelty and stimulation. Older guys who have been using porn far longer - and are older- tend to recover faster nad more solidly. But it's a generalization.
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Just woke up a few hours ago from a nap. Had an erection - perhaps 80% rigid - and it went down a few seconds after I woke. But im pretty happy about it as nothing has been going on down there for weeks now (Im 38 days PMO!).

This is the sign that shows me that physically, Im fine. My penis actually DOES WORK. Just dont understand why I never get an erection during my waking day.

Really hoping im on the right track -  being really strict now with PMO - not even touching my penis or checking out any hot pics on facebook.
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Yesterday/last night were by far the most difficult so far, so it makes sense that I woke up hard as a rock for the first time in ages today (which is great news).

I'm going out of town with my girlfriend in a few weeks, though, so I'm nervous about the infamous flatlining phase occurring then.

So damn horny right now. It's on my mind roughly 1/3 of the time.
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QUESTION: How to stimulate my libido? I am now for my almost 12 days without PMO but I feel that I am lacking more and more libido... than when I used to see P and M. Any suggestion?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Don't worry about your libido. Trust me it's there... You only going to feel it when you experiencing some sexual activity with a real woman or daydreaming about a woman you know.
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Cheers for this site guys. I have been reading up loads on the topic, and laughed so hard when i relised that i had porn addiction, It made me realise so much. Im on my 10th day of no PMO and i feel awesome, no fog head space, loads of energy and confidence, I acctually cant wait to hit the FLATLINE because then i know that its working, im 25, been in multiple relationships with sex, thought i just had Performance anxiety! Ive been jacking off to porn non stop since i was about 15, right into all the messed up ****, and like alot of you, i found sex to be extremly boring, killed my last to relationships because of it. I just would not want to have sex! I was right into bdsm (on the internet) then when i acctually got into it for real and performed it with a few chicks, i also found that to be boring......It couldnt relate to the high i was getting to viewing it on the internet....(messsed up hey!) I belive it will take me a while to reboot, but i feel ill be a new man , and im sure ill be experiance sex for the first time properly! i cant wait.
Thanks again guys :).. If anyone needs support let me know, i have no urge at all to go back to porn!
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so im at day 5 with no p and m im finding a dont miss p as much as i thought i would. The m part is becoming difficult though. I find myself reaching down to m randomly but then im like what the hell are you doing. This girl asked to come over my house tonight and i said no. I got a little freaked wondering if she did come over, could i get it up. Would having sex or getting head so soon after i tried to stop p and m impede my progress?
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I'm 48 but your story is exacty the same as mine. When I saw this stuff on here I could hardly believe it.

Same story. The more extreme you view the more extreme you need to view. I'd get to the stage that I'd make an excuse to get out of having sex so I could find some porn the next day to do the trick. That seems to be a vicious circle going by what I read on here. As well as the porn affecting the brain re the ED, I also think theres a huge chunk of it comes into the anxiety bracket. Sure its all caused by the porn and the MB but one of the side effects is the anxiety. Because you can only get it up to extreme porn, once you're with a girl you're wondering will you be able to get it up without the porn, hence the anxiety kicks in and plays its part too.

I'm so flat lined right now I'm searching for a monastery.
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Yea bro, the part about the anxiety is exactly how I feel!
One thing ill admit on here what I havernt seen is, if I did decide to have sex after my mind fighting with itself and the struggle to get it up, id have sex when the missus went to bed id go jerk off to porn.....i felt like scum of the earth..... But thats why im here....to fix it.
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On my phone....typos - id have sex with my ex and then afterwards id go have a jerk to porn
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1828226 tn?1323568848
1) wait till my ex go to sleep to jerk off in the bathroom
2) try to get her to watch porn with me when I know she doesn't really like it
3) one time got caught jerking off to porn while my ex was down stairs making breakfast
4) not having any desire to give my ex oral sex
5) getting oral sex from my ex and barely enjoying it
6) not feeling enjoyable sensation from p-v sex
7) losing erection during sex and telling her it's because she's not tight enough
8) going several months without sex, it was like we were friends
9) even with sex pills like viagra or cialis, still not maintaining the erection
10) using lube for my ex during sex because she not wet enough and that's because she's not excited from having sex with me due to the constant erection issues.
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I been thru all this b.s. and I'm so glad I'm really finding the strength this time thru God that I stay away a long time from masturbation and porn.

One big difference I see now is #4. I LOVE giving my current so beautiful gf to my eyes oral sex. I LOVE IT LIKE CRAZY PLEASING HER. I know I feel this way from the reduction of porn and masturbation. My body acts differently in a positive way. Lately I been telling my gf on the phone that I can't wait to suck on her p***y again LOL. The old me has never acted this way.

GUYS, stick to no masturbation and porn and watch your libido go over the roof for your woman. But I will warn you, it's going to always feel like there is no libido there (when you're working, being alone, doing nothing sexual, etc.) BUT your libido will kick in when your beautiful gf is around you.
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This is my story.

I am 19 year old and i never had sex in my life. I starter mastrubating when i was 13 using porn and ever since i have been mastrubating regularly to porn. I dont consider myself a big porn addict, i dont watch extreme porn and i could mastrubate using my imagination, but the mastrubation itself has destroyed my libido and gave me ED.

About 2-3 months ago i was a mess - i coudnt get erect without touching myself, the erection was weak, i didnt enjoy the mastrubation at all, i had semenal leakage, and i would have an orgasm in less then a minute of mastrubating, but even with all that i still mastrubated 2-3 times per day. So i decided to take a break since whenever i had weak erections in puberty i would simply stop mastrubating for a couple of days and i would be as good as new, but after 5 days it was all the same. That is when i realized something was wrong with me. I googled it out - sexual exaustion. I thought i had found the answear but it was not that simple. After about 2 weeks of no mastrubation i got rejected by a girl and started mastrubating again. Then i realized that i was addicted to porn. I mean, even my wet dreams during the period of no PMO were me watching porn.

So i decided that my new year resolution would be to finally get rid of my PMO problem. I started on 08.01 and after a week i was having wet dreams, and occasional morning wood, my libido did diminish but my wet dreams continued. Then after 2 and a half weeks - disaster. I mastrubated in my dream and orgasmed! I was totaly devastated that my brain was doing this. I tried to keep up but 3 days ago i relapsed and mastrubated. Now i realise that this won't go away that easily and that i really am badly addicted. I dont think the cause to my ED is porn, but porn is a contributing factor since my brain wants porn, and porn makes me want to mastrubate badly, and mastrubation is sexually exausting me.

I think that those couple of weeks without PMO did help since the mastrubation i had today was not that bad, a i had a semi-strong erection and i did enjoy it but still it is not good enough, i am a porn addict and i need to carry on until the end. Therefore i choose to track my progress with you guys here since i need to be persistent, and i need to pull out of the claws of PMO addiction for good. So here i am, here is my tracker, my goal is to hold out for at least 2 months now. I hope you will support me since i have told no one about my problems as i feel ashamed i let this happen to me. Wish me luck guys and all the best!
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Im pretty sure you'll have everyones support, im lucky a situation put me on the right head space to stop pmo, so I feel its alot easier for me, its still early but im sure ill get cravings.  Like my other post if u need send me s private message if ur needing help, im a fairly open guy, so let loose lol..

I have 1 question for some people that may know a bit about it.

I.work in an industry that has alot of amazing girls come through its door, om wondering if this can tarnish my reboot at all? I understand its good to look at more and I.dont fantasise about them, (ive blocked it out) bit it still worrys me.
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Cheers for being so open. Pretty much what hsppened with my ex
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1923088 tn?1338603606
Believe me you can do it!!!!
You will feel like a new man, I'm 45 and I've had two nocturnal emissions (wet dreams) since I gave up P&M.  I used to be worried that if I was out with a woman that some how things might lead to sex, trust me that is hell.  I had even gone to the doctor for ED and he found nothing wrong with me.  I had the same problem as love_a_challenge going limp while trying to have sex.  

You have to want to change and dig deep into your will power.  

Once you make it past a certain number of days P&M will start to lose its grip on you.   You are a young man do not let this addiction ruin your life and relationships for years.
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I am convinced that Video Porn is the cause of ED and lack of the Libido in real sex. However, what about looking at magazines or see strippers in strip clubs? would these help simulate the imagination again and give more libido or they would give negative effect?
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I was also thing about strip clubs, cause my work mates want to do a strippers night next week.
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Day 3.
I really hate myself right now. But not because of the porn or the masturbation. I barely care about this anymore. My libido is practically zero.
I hate myself because finally, after all of these years of loneliness, there is a beautiful girl that actually has a crush on me, but I can't show any interest in her because I'm afraid that I won't be able to satisfy her. I can't think of what would happen if she loses interest and goes with someone else. I will probably relapse back in to the miserable life of porn and masturbation and be unhappy for the rest of my life...
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1923088 tn?1338603606
That is no reason the hate yourself.

If your on day 3 you some distance to go before you enter the recovery zone.
My advice would don't brush her off and just take things slow and avoid getting boxed into a situation where sex might present itself.  

Stay the course no PMO!!!
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A slight question:
Does fantasizing about real women or thinking about previous sexual experiences with real women helps or sets me back ? I thought that the goal is to be able to get it up just by fantasizing alone.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
If you visit yourbrainonporn.com it states we shouldn't do it because it send signals thru the same dopamine path as if we were watching porn. But in my opinion, that's damn near impossible to not think of anything sexual for 60-90 days. Till this day, I still daydream about my gf doing stuff to me and I do get nice erections from it. I love the feeling... I believe that I am still recovering great  (no PMO) even though I still fantasize about my gf.
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What do you think of getting food supplements that lower the prolactin levels ?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
That stuff is not needed...
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I just read our problem is caused by dumbed down dopamine receptors and we need to starve them to get them back on track.
Does that mean that anything that releases dopamine is bad ? Like eating chocolate, drinking or even exercising ???
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Like so many have said, Thank God I found this site. The honesty here is amazing. I've been m w/wo p 3-5 times a day for 25 yrs. i'm 46. Have had trouble maintaining erections on and off over the years-mostly after long periods with no partner, but it always turned around after getting comfortable in relationship. Now nothing works. Meds worked for awhile. I think I am like others here except for this, I am a non smoker except when i m. Have been doing it for years. I never, and mean truly never, smoke without m. I like the girl smoking in bed even better than myself. After orgasm, i am replused by my smoking, and immediately change shirt, wash my face, brush teeth. I still get morning wood once in a great while. To complicate matters more I am on a fairly new combo of psych meds. Anyone have some similar experience, or parts of this experience? Any ideas how to start fixing myself. To all ---good luck, and thanks already for the blessing of honesty and courage found on this site.
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Just hit two weeks!

I've found that weekdays are the easiest to keep things off of my mind as I'm either working, running errands, out with friends, or sleeping. Weekends, however, are very tricky if I stay home for extended periods.

Lesson learned: keep yourself occupied so that it doesn't even cross your mind.
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Let's encourage each other, I have been for 15 days so far without PMO... what about u? let's share our achievement :)
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I likewise believe I have the same issues. I'm currently 22 and have been masturbating once a day since the age of 13. Sometimes I'll masturbate 2 or three times a day. I believe that after so much masturbation I suffer from sexual exhaustion. It's difficult for me to stay erect during intercourse with a girl and it's ruining my life.

I love sex, but I love to love and be loved too. However, it's difficult to maintain a romantic and loving relationship when you can't perform as expected.

After so many years of chronic masturbation I sincerely believe I've caused serious and permanent damage to both the penis and testicles. From the nerves to the skin, I believe my genitals are severely damaged. As a result, I can't maintain erections during sex and I'm not easily aroused as I used to be. I have hope though, I've started my own recovery program.

I haven't masturbated for almost two weeks now. I've given up all pornography. And I keep track of my progress by checking off everyday I don't masturbate. Everyday I can give myself a check I feel allot better. The hope is that after so many weeks and months without masturbation my skin and nerves will slowly heal overtime. And my sex drive will increase. For, we all notice that after a couple of days without sex we have that huge sexual urge, but after ejaculation it's goes away. Hence after a prolonged period I assume that the sexual urge will be so great that when I do have regular sex with a loved one I'll be so horny I'll be erect and last.

We me luck on my progress. I hope you guys find this useful and encouraging to do what I'm doing also. I'll check back in soon.
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I just want to add a little information. I was reading some articles concerning is there such a thing as to much sex for men. What I discovered was startling. Health experts agreed across the board based on extensive research that allot of sex for women is okay for it improves posture among many other things. And there are some positives that sex brings for men too, but studies have shown that too much sex for men causes penile and testicular damage.

Furthermore, this damage could result in damaged nerves in the penis thats responsible giving us that great sexual feeling we all enjoy. Also, it may contribute to ED. Why? Because during erection, contrary to popular believe, there is not allot of oxygen flow in the penis. As a result, cells are damaged. Therefore, it would be wise for us to stop or limit masturbation should we desire to have good and lasting erections during intercourse with a loved one.

As mentioned in my previous comment I've started my own program. My program, moreover, is simply checking off everyday I don't masturbate thus keeping track of my progress. I've been without masturbation and porn for about two weeks now. As a result, I feel better morally, mentally, and even physically. My urge for sex has increased and thats a good thing. For, when the moments right to have intercourse with that loved one I know I'll be so horny I'll want to *&^%.

For me love is greater than sex. As George Sand stated, "theres only one happiness in life -- to love and be loved." Hence my motivator is to have a companion and potentially kids someday. You must find something that is greater than sex to you such as love and use that as your main encourager. I don't desire to be alone. It helps me mentally to love and be loved. So, thats my main motivator to not give up.
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Completely understerstand the highs and lows through this, only just at my 2 week mark and can feel the slips of anxiousness and stress. Still only a small urge to M but no urge at all the P, But my thoughts have been crazy! Dreams aswell, pretty vivid....
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1977392 tn?1328196404
I know everyone here, suffering from erectile dysfunction..just want to ask if, is your sperm count normal? I have 27,000 sperm count. 60% fast moving and 80% normal in shape.. if my erection treated is there any possibilities to increase my sperm count? I really want to have a baby, im so depressed. =(
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1828226 tn?1323568848
you need to open a new forum for this question so you can get more direct answers...
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1977392 tn?1328196404
i also have ED, i just want to know if having ED is related to Poor sperm count, how about you love_a_challenge, if you masturbate is your sperm counts normal? sorry for the inconvenience.
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Porn-induced ED is caused by addiction, which involves more than low dopamine and dopamine receptors. Thta said the "numbed pleasure response) (low dopamine signaling) is major contributor to the inability to maintain a strong erection.

As seen in the yourbrainonporn videos, wiring to porn (sensitization), and weakening of self control pathways plays a big part in this addiction.

See this article on the site: "Why Do I Find Porn More Exciting Than A Partner?"

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Yea, i feel with you. I also used to enjoy mastrubation alot more, i too believe i have damaged my nerves since i feel i could really get exicted sometimes but my penis doesn't erect, its like something is blocking it all. We simply need a big break, thats all...
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Whoops, forgot to edit my tracked. Here we go :D
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Despite my setback last weekend, I feel much better and most of my porn cravings have settled down to a more manageble level.  That seems like it was a bit of a last hurrah, and really left me unsatisfied anyway.   Flatlining a bit I believe, not much happening down there, libido seems pretty low.  Have read some encouraging posts from many of you lately,  a bit worried about the anxiety when I get back in the saddle.  One day at a time I guess..
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Slipping in a bit of a depressing mood actually. I just realized how dopamine surges from porn have ruined my social life. I was avoiding real life exciting situations because I had the required dopamine rush from stuff like porn and eating junk foods /drinking energetic/caffeine drinks and etc.
On the same topic, should I avoid caffeine and energetic drinks ? They both stimulate dopamine in the brain, and I guess that doesn't help the numbed down receptors that need to "rest".
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2014721 tn?1328226936
I'm a 40 year old in shape man and today is day 70 of no PMO for me but I have to admit that I am also in the same boat as you. I didn't refrain from the orgasms. My wife is a wonderful woman and has supported me and my first orgasm was a ruined one and it was so difficult to sit there and watch her just get off of me and watch me squirm and twitch as very little sperm oozed out of me. That still left me frustrated but I guess it was better then nothing right? After that ruined orgasm, my wife has let me enjoy 9 full orgasms in 70 days. I must say that I wake up almost every morning aroused but I still have some difficulty maintaining my erection during sex. I can't deny my wife her pleasure so we have decided that from now on I will have no orgasms at all and I'll just please her orally. I know this will be hard but I'll give it a shot. I'll let you know how it goes.
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2014721 tn?1328226936
Hey Wingman, you know what? I've come to realize that it's the anxiety that builds up in our minds that also cause us to lose or not be able to get an erection. I've been with my wife for 15 years and love her to death. She knows all about me and yet still, I find myself thinking too much about maintaining my erection and before long, I lose it. I think we all need to just relax and go with the flow on top of no more porn or MB. Don't hire a prostitute because you'll regret it later on and you certainly wont feel relaxed and comfortable with her. Just a suggestion.
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1977392 tn?1328196404
how about your sperm counts after 70 days? does it increased? i also have ED with low sperm counts.
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Avatar universal
Yeah I didn't hire a prostitute, I couldn't go through with it T_T...

In other news I have a date Saturday with this really hot Half Vietnamese/Half Puerto Rican chick...I have a ridiculous fetish for Asian girls and this girl is a sick combo and 5'3 to boot (Lawd help me)...I haven't been coming to the site the last few days because I just didn't want to think about any of this for a while...With this date looming, I'm not sure how to attack it...Should I even be focusing on trying to have sex with her near the end? Should I just be laidback in nature and not stress physical touch? Any advice on any of this?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
as of now, how many days no porn? how many days no masturbation? and how many days no orgasm? don't you have cialis? I advise you to pop one of those pills for support until you feel you're mentally ready.
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66 days no PMO, again the only exception was for testing Cialis and once for morning wood confirmation...So 3 times in 66 days with ZERO VISUAL PORN (I deleted my motherload in november)...I have all intentions of popping a cialis, hell I might pop two...I already lost one hot asian chick, I can't bare to lose another one, so if we're making out and it just ain't happening I'mma go the "let's wait because I really like you"-route unless there's some better advice out there...
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I am so desapointed of what happened:

I had a date tonight and I was so exited to have sex with her. At the beginning, with the for-play, I had full erection. i Though that I can have full sex with her.. So I put the condom and ... the moment that I had it on, I lost my erection... She was waiting for me to penetrate her but I was more and more under pressure that I am loosing it... specially when I had full erection like few minutes ago... I Kept stimulating her with my fingers and try to get my penis again hard... with no luck.. then I gave up and I remove the condom... the moment that I took it out, I got again my erection.. and she had to masturbate me to ***...

I had the same issue  with my one night stand dates,even before I stopped watching Porn and Masturbate alone... FYI, it has been so far 2 weeks without PMO.

I am very convinced that it is all psycho because when I was with my exGF, I was having sex without a condom an did not have any ED issue...

Any suggestion how to get over it and go back to normal to have full sex (start to end) without loosing my erection... I need help!!!!!
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To clarify, during one night stand, I dont have problems getting erections normally, especially while receiving oral sex. but... when the time comes to having intercourse, I "lose it" between getting oral sex and penetration, especially when I put a condom on.

Any advice for someone who still wants to have one night stands? thanks,
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Here here, i also have this....but even so, my erection while getting oral isnt the best, Happy man its only been 2 weeks dude...you still have along way to go. I was still able to have sex with my ex gf, but the erection was never good, would go down, blow early.
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PS id just want to ground and pound, no lovie dovie sex, no foreplay just ****** as quick and as hard as possible.....otherwise it would be ****, but that was also boring!
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Early days my friend, early days. Sounds to me that for the most part its the anxiety build up thats not helping. I'm the same. the erection is there but once that moment comes for penetration its like a trigger in the mind and down it all goes. I'm coming up on two weeks now with no porn, no marturbation and feel fine about it all but I know that when I get round to having sex for the first time now that the anxiety levels will be off the scale wondering if it'll be better / worse / no different.

So I think theres 2 things:
1) ED problems due to porn and mastrubation.
2) In the process of healing the above there will be anxiety issues re performance.

The longer you stick with 1 the better 2 will get.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Once you get the erection (during foreplay), put the condom on then don't touch the condom no more....Don't start stroking the penis to make yourself stay hard, that is too much pressure and anxiety kicking it...

Get immediately into the missionary position with the girl and have her play with your penis as she guides the way to inside her. Kiss her. Kissing sends a signal from the brain to your penis and gets your hard again. Kissing also helps you to not concentrate so much on your penis getting hard.

Another trick is to have her wet the tip of the condom as she guides the way inside her. The penis likes a wet feeling.

Make sure you are using the right condom for your penis too! Make sure the condom is not overly tight at the base.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Another reason your penis goes down with the condom is because you already have it in your mind that you not going to enjoy sex with the condom (based on the other times you tried having sex with a condom)....

You need to discover your favorite condom. It took me years to find out that Durex Love condoms are the most compatible for my penis.

Again, the best advice is to have the girl put some saliva on her hand to wet the condom so your penis feels like it is getting the wet feel. This will make you get hard and penetrate.
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2014721 tn?1328226936
Hope,
My sperm count dramatically picked up when I had a normal orgasm having sex with my wife and I want to say not too long into this no p/m/o thing. I was amazed, and not to get too in detail, let's just say that I shot it pretty darn far too. ;o)

Wingman,
I'm glad you stayed strong Brother! Hey, try not to even think about having sex with this girl you will be with on your date. Just concentrate on being yourself and having a good time. I think we place too much pressure on ourselves when it comes to sex. I guess it's the competitive side of us as men, but who knows. I bet if you just be yourself, there will be a second and third date. If sex does come up, just relax and try not to think of anything negative. Concentrate on pleasing just her and enjoy that moment as it's happening. Don't fast forward to your issues. I tried that before and I even said to myself how amazing it was and what a difference it was when I didn't worry about trying to maintain my erection or think of myself. I'm curious to hear how it goes so please feel free to share. Good luck Buddy, you'll be fine!
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pmo slipped wed due to stopped posting here. Had a dental procedure yesterday and felt totally dissipated ,deadened talking with gorgeous assistant . 0 self-esteem.
    Having trouble getting past 7 days. I had 28 months celibate into 2008 and not feeling deprived or tempted- even ok with not ever having sex again knowing I was better off than the way I was. Then one morning I had overwhelming libido with intense high like my 20s and have been in same tired ol' pmo pattern ever since. I'm getting too old for this.
       I go back to the dentist on Valentine's day - hoping to be free of this monkey on my back feeling.  Thanks for being here.
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Thanks for the advises. Yeh I need tricks to overcome my anxiety of loosing my erection at any time.
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Update: It's been almost a week since I PMO'ed. Last day was Sunday. I feel really horny and I got morning wood three days. I met my gal after work and she was looking really good. I mean really good. ;-)  We ate and had a few drinks but we both went home. I gave her a couple of good kisses at our cars. I got home and being on the PC here typing this I have no intention or feeling that I need to look at porn or even "M". She understands my problem and is behind me 110% for me to get better. She REALLY loves me as I love her. I feel so lucky to have a gal who understands and it willing to help any way she can.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Can't believe I made it this far. Still leading by example. Let's keep the no PMO going!
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I cant freaking belive i orgasmed again during my sleep!!!! Its seems like my brain wants to beat me no matter what. I was having a "wet dream" (me watching porn. damn addicted brain) and i remember in my sleep i was only watching the porn, and suddenly i felt the orgasm and it didnt wake me up, i felt bad in my dream about the orgasm as i am feeling now. Is it possible i orgasmed without mastrubating or have i done that in my sleep without me noticing? Has this happened to anyone of you guys? I am so dissapointed, its only been 3 days of me starting again after the relapse, i feel like i am pushing a rock to the top of the mountain and the rock always falls down to the bottom...
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Day 6 and I feel no urges to masturbate or watch porn, nor any kind of wet dreams.
Is this normal ?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Everyone's body is different. For me, I felt the urge to masturbate day 1-5, day 6 the urge faded away... Now my urge comes like every 30 days. When I get the urge, I focused on not touching my penis at all because I know a little teasing will make me give in. Once the day goes by, my urge is gone again. This is how I lasted 50 days so far. I admit I have taken small peeps at porn but I refused to touch my penis. But overall, I can feel the change in my body and how I interract with my gf. It's a beautiful feeling!
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1923088 tn?1338603606
Bravo!!!!

You got that right about leading by example.  
50 days is a big damn deal be proud.
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Hey I see that you've done more than 30 days abstinence before, so why are you ding the full 60 days ? Do you feel that all of the recovery from before is lost just by one relapse ?
On topic: I'm experiencing some mood swings that might be part of the recovery. One time I'm optimistic about my recovery, and after a few hours I'm sad and think about how miserable I am and now the things aren't going to get better. I also feel the need to socialize more, but during the years I've isolated myself, so most of the people from my social circle are used to not call me for events and such.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
You are going to go through some motions, such energy level, sleep patterns, feeling like someone stole your penis while you were sleeping because it feels like its not there anymore etc.  

If you still have your friends phone numbers try to organize and outing like going bowling or playing pool etc and see if you can get a small group together.  

Things are going to get better but you have to take some action on your own part.

You are not in this battle by yourself, you have everyone on this board behind you.  

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I've still yet to enter a flatline phase of any sort, and my morning erections are become more frequent and strong. My girlfriend requested that I send her a picture of it sometime, and in the process of doing so this morning I inevitably found myself edging quite a bit. It was unbearable to not proceed further with it, but in prioritizing the long-term benefit I was able to restrain myself. Amusingly enough, however, I found that it took very little stimulation to maintain it, and that no fantasizing was necessary, but merely the physical sensation.
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The weird thing is that I'm not experiencing the withdraw symptoms.
I have experienced them 2 years ago when I tried to stop porn, but not now. Now is just... empty. I actually want to experience them just to know that something is working.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
"Hey I see that you've done more than 30 days abstinence before, so why are you ding the full 60 days ? Do you feel that all of the recovery from before is lost just by one relapse ?"
--------------------
Honestly with me, if I don't achieve my goal I get extremely depressed and feel like I need to start all the way over. Thats why I'm so focus to reach 90 days no masturbation. The porn, I sneak and look at sometimes for a couple of minutes but I haven't done that recently.

I think we all have different goals. My ultimate goal is to completely stop masturbating, seldomly take a peep at porn and only get orgasms when engaging some sort of sexual activity with my gf.

For me, masturbation really messes with my mind psychologically. If I masturbate, I have no self-confidence in my erections for a couple of weeks. I don't want to worry if I'm going to get sexually excited and maintain an erection with my gf. The more days I go without masturbation the more confidence I have.
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Bahh  couldnt help myself and had to M not to orgasm though...  but I feel it set me back! Pretty pissed off at myself o well lol
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1828226 tn?1323568848
You might as well go all the way now because edging is not good. You shouldn't have touch yourself. Now, I'm pretty sure it's on your mind like crazy to come to an orgasm. You right..... Edging will also make you feel like you relapse.

This is why I encourage us all to not touch the penis at all... It's all in the mind.
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Yea bro, it feels like im back to day one! There were no P urges, there wernt even thoughts in my head... but i still feel pissed over it
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Hey guys what about watching TV shows with nudity in them (Californication), providing that I don't look at porn or masturbate afterwards ?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
If it is making you think about masturbating or tempting you to go look at some porn then stay away from tv shows like that. If it doesn't trigger any effect, keep watching it..

Speaking for myself, I have to stay away from steamy romance movies.
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Alright, so I went on my date last night with this awesome Vietnamese-Dominican chick... We had great fun, went to see Chronicle which was OK then to Laser Tag...I'm like 10 years older than her, but $hit was tight...We went back to my crib to watch TV at the end of the night--I had already popped my Cialis like an hr before we got started...We just started to make-out and within in minutes I was rock hard beyond belief...Every kiss, everytime she nibbled my ear, anytype of tongue action and I was just launchpading...

Now the kicker is we didn't have sex...Chick really liked me and didn't want to come off as a straight ho on the first night (Although I can deny trying to make her one^^)...We connected and bonded and I feel like I'm certainly going to date her further, but we did go as heavy as you can go without having sex, just short of fellatio...The bottomline though is that I was hard as f**k and felt like at any minute I could have destroyed her...

She slept over, we woke up in the morning and started to go heavy again...We did the whole thing where I'm in sleep shorts with her legs wrapped around me, making out as I dry humped the hell out of her...I was about a minute from busting in my shorts until she asked me to calm down a little...But I again I was rocky with the bullwinkle the whole time, to the point of, unbearably, blue-ball status T_T...

Despite that though, all in all, I feel like I've gotten alot of confidence back...Not once did I think of porn or have to fantasize...i was really connected with the girl and i used this situation as a learning curve for further encounters and it seemed to work...

Now was the Cialis a crutch? I don't know...Although after sleeping 6 hrs and waking up for me to still be rocked-up, I feel like that was me...

And damn, they ain't lying about that headache side effect..I was ringing this morning...I don't know if I shud MB or do nothing though...Don't want to take a wrong step, but I feel like I did too much last night to not pop...SO any advice on that would be nice...

But in awesome news:

Day 67, and I feel like a goddamn man again....
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Frustrating typo: (Although I *CAN'T* deny trying to make her one^^)
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I've taken that stuff enough to know that it was part you and part the medicine. The medicine had you rock hard. If it was you alone, you will feel just hard but not rock hard. If you want no headache, take the lowest dosage (2.5 mg or 5mg), stay away from 10 and 20. For the next 2-3 days, your erections are going to feel rock hard every time you get one and that is due to the medicine. You are fine. Don't touch yourself or edge if you already haven't started.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
Sounds like a nice date!!!

You are on the right track I'm pretty sure you did not need the cialis.  When you are really messed up even cialis will not help.  I'm pretty sure you are getting your confidence back. Just stay the course and as LAC said don't touch yourself or edge.

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LOL, I wasn't gonna take a chance not taking the full pill, but next time I'll half it up...

Ugh, blueballs BTW...There should be another thread on how to deal with that trying to come off of Porn ED....
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I'm flatlinning deeply right now. I feel dead. Things are gray. Sorry for the bad poetry, but how long did it take for it to end with you guys? It seems to have gotten worse for me after I fooled around with a girl, but didn't have sex, because I thought it would slow down my recovery. Thank you.
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Hi all, I haven't been on the forum for a long time...

I completely agree on this method. It works!

Some months ago i discovered my ED problem and as 25 year old man it freaked me out - both mentally and I started to act socially awkward. I stayed off from P in two months and only did M once a week (longest run with no M was 20 days). I experienced all the symptoms of flatlining and a depressive mind.    

After two months I had a fall back with P for some days in a row, and I could really feel how it did absolutely no good for me and skipped it again. Now a month later I have started seeing a girl and everything works. The first time we were about to have sex I told her that she might needed to be a little patient if something would't work - after a few minutes I went flat and I contribute this to being nervous. The second time it went a lot better, however still some hardness problems. After that NO problems.

Porn is a big issue and it screws with your mind. However your own mind also screws with you. Prepare yourself that your next encounter might not be as successful as you wish, however have fun and be honest - there are still many ways to have a good time in bed..

I wish you all the best!
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Congrads bro, happy your seeing result
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Hi to everybody, my name is Scott, I've been searching the net for the past 2 years looking for a solution to my erection problems.

I started off thinking maybe I was sick and that didnt turn out to be true. I thought maybe I was just getting older and this was normal and all my guy friends told me that they never have this problem and they're all older than me. I went to my doctor and a eurologist and both said I had nothing wrong with me that everything was fine with my physically. I was prescribed viagra to help with anxiety with sex and to take the edge off but it just fixes a short term problem that I thought may be related to sexual matters.

I've wrestled with the fact I may be gay but for the fact I cant get erections with women I've never thought of being with a man sexually and the idea is a big turn off.

So I saw an article on the net about porn use being a cause of sexual problems within males and it got me to thinking that maybe my porn use is the problem here.

I masturbate 2 to 3 times daily with what I describe as increasingly more and more hardcore porn and more out there films featuring things I used to not be into that I used to shy away from. The regular porn I watch just doesnt do it for me at all anymore.

At this point I cant get an erection at all and I started dating this great girl and I havent been able to get an erection yet at all. Like.... at all. Nothing helps..... I'm just lost.... :-(
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Welcome. Sounds just like my story and pretty much everyone else on here mate.

The guys will send you to this site to have a read,

http://yourbrainonporn.com/

It will explain everything, in an easy to understand manner.... ive read alot of the site, but even a few hours ago i was reading more on there and i couldnt help but laugh at how blind i was to not notice what was happening.
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Dude if your worried there is nooooo way i would watch californication, i bloody love that show........but its based on the life of a sex addict!

Funny that david duchovny even has openly admitted to having a porn addiction and would rather masturbate to porn then sleep with his partner :P

So no, dont watch it :p LOL
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So is it possible to fix this whole thing?

I'm afraid that even if I'm stopping porn and masturbation that it wont make much of a difference because I've already tainted my brain with it. I know that the more extreme situations in porn exist.

Its like my brain just knows that there's porn involving 3 or 4 girls and a guy and I'm afraid that even if I never look at it again in my life the damage has already been done and I wont be turned on by a woman ever again.

From reading this site it looks like my brain will gradually get better and the chemicals will get back in balance that controls my erections and getting sexually stimulated if I never go back to porn and masturbation?

Is that how it will work?

Thank you for the help you guys. I'm just new to everything.
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No way I'm quitting the show man, but maybe I will watch it after I'm mostly recovered. After all, it's completely impossible to avoid all kind of nudity in TV or movies and I have to learn to watch it without tempting myself to masturbate.
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Friends, Romans and countrymen,

Morning.

An update from the UK which I hope will encourage all of us. Been off porn, Mastrubation and Orgasm for 2 weeks now. Never looked, touched or even thought about it. This has mostly been due to me being totally sick of myself for not realising what was actually going on within me. Once the light came on in my head that was it. Like Modernhero I was at it 3 times a day 5 to 6 days a week. Now nothing. Last week I went into the flatline no libido state and I posted a couple of times that I felt my bits had dropped off and that I was looking for a monks role in life.

On Friday night my wife came onto me in bed and I nearly froze with panic as I thought it would be a disaster due to no libido / desire etc. I faked being asleep in the hope she'd give up but nothing put her off! I needn't have worried. After a minutes kissing, touching etc I was hard, very hard. And it stayed that way right through the session, never fadingh or failing for one moment. It must have lasted all of a minute and a half!!!!!! Hahahahaha, I jest boys, it was wonderful to feel normal again. Seriously, we've not had better sex in 10 years. She noticed and commented on it too so the difference was noticible. If this ever became an olympic sport I think I could shag for Britian!!

For you guys that are in the flatline stage and thinking your libido has gone and gonme for good, let me assure you, it hasn't. Its there just waiting for something real to respond to. Keep at this, its the only way to heal the mind and body so that we can look forward to a better life. I'm elated this morning.

What was also encouraging was that when I woke on Saturday morning I was fully hard again. That hasn't happened for I don't know how many years. Excellent stuff.

Re the cialis/viagra/levirta, I've tried them all at various stages and all for the most part helped me do what I had to do but understand this, if porn addiction / too much mastrubation is the problem then these helps will only mask the issue, they won't help it long term. The only way to kick this is get off the porn and mastrubation and let nature take its course. If anxiety is an issue then fine, a half a tablet will help but don't think that is part of the cure.

And by the way, yes, the headaches these tablets give are the worst!! Didn't matter to me whither it was a full tablet or half a tablet, the headache lasted 2 days minimum.

Keep it going guys.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Read your last post and thanks for also proving that our libido may feel like it's gone but it's really there waiting for a real woman to get involved.

I get the same results when I'm with my gf.

Say no to masturbation! Say no to porn! Don't let it control your life.
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After 2 weeks or so, my erections feel **** loads better, they acctually feel nice, instead of numb, I was viewing alot of messed up **** and thechieftan said his story was just like mine, and look at where his got after a few weeks! (read up a few posts)

I know im not ready, i wont be for a long time, but just stick with it dude, alot of people are posting on here, and giving out loads of support. Like the site said, your brain will ajust itself, it may take time, but it will! Just no masturbation, no porn and no orgasm. Go to the start of this thread and read peoples storys, It feels so good to read theirs and then months later, they post saying they feel as good as new.

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Hi guys!

I'm new to this forum. I'm 21 days clean. No PMO.

Is surfing Facebook not recommended?

I'm also having this weird dreams.. intense, sex related.. no wet dream though.. Do you guys, experience that?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
facebook is fine as long as it doesn't trigger you to look at porn or masturbate. anything that trigger you to watch porn or masturbate you should stay away from...
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I wouldn't recommend any borderline nude photos (e.g. swimsuit pics) from Facebook that would cause P/M urges.

As for the sexual dreams, that's a great sign! I've had ridiculously hot dreams lately that cause me to wake up with awesome erections. It's just the brain's way of trying to recreate what you're depriving yourself.
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Hey, guys, 9 days and I see no major improvements yet. It's easier to get erections from physical stimulation but that's it. For example, I got one in the bus yesterday from the friction between my jeans and my penis.
Still no withdraw symptoms. I was considering to look at porn without masturbating but I decided not to risk it.
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An update. After being on and off the wagon for the past couple of weeks, I'm setting it in stone. 1 day clean!
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This week-end I was with a girl.. kissing & stuff.. no sex though.. (not yet).. I had an erection for a long time and got the blue balls after..

Yesterday and today = flatline.

I'm planning on having sex this week-end (I'll be 26 days clean). Is that gonna affect my recovery?
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You and me both! For some reason I can't get pass day 13
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Din'd M to P but to a story without images, but I guess is still considered a failure. twice now I've reached day 13 and then M. I've noticed that reading the story I've got really hard without touching so I consider it a progress.Trying again.


  
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How do you make the tracker show in the post?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Since it's been 25 days, it should not affect your recovery. You should have a decent outcome too. It may not be 100% but you should notice a difference how you interract with the girl and how you get spontaneous erections.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
This helped for me. Write down a list of everything that makes you want to relapse and stay away from these things. Sex stories is on my list. Sex stories will definitely tempt you to go back to porn on a daily basis.

I believe the whole key to this process is to not touch your penis at all. If you can build up enough self-control to never tease yourself by edging then eventually your body will adjust to the change and "no M" will seem easier than you think.
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Here's a concept - there's no such thing as porn.

The brain knows exactly what alcohol or heroin is, but the reward circuitry has no way of recognizing what porn is. It all comes down to whether you are reactivating addictions pathways, and whether you are overstimulating your already desensitized dopamine system

Internet porn addiction is an addiction to novelty. The constant need to click, to search, to find something new. That's what makes it so different from porn of the past.

One guys may be clicking tyhrough transexual, another through feet, another through midgets...whatever is exciting in the moment. On guy developed porn-induced ED just using swisuit ads - but 500-1000 pics in one session.

The question you need to ask yourself is: "Do my behaviors or actions mimic how I used porn?" If so, then you may be reactivating sensitized  addiction pathways. Only you can answer this question. Facebook is a common example I hear about, where guys mimic the exact same MO (method of operation) as they did with porn use: searching, clicking, surfing in the quest for synthetic sexual novelty (not involving real people) in order to stimulate their desensitized brains.

Which scenario is more like porn addiction?
1.Surfing dating site, while imagining sex with completely clothed females, as you click from picture to picture - maybe 100's.
2.An afternoon in a nudist colony?

...............Probably #1.

Artificial vs real - that's the source of addiction. Novelty that's the addiction. The neee for constant stimulation - that's the addiction.

If you are you wiring your brain to require high levels of novelty in the form continously changing visual stimulation, then making love to one girl,  seeing only her face, will not be enough to get you hard.



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I'm worried about the flatline. My **** is dead. I haven't had any morning wood for a few days!
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What is a safe period of abstinence to attempt to have sex and not fail miserably (with cialis) ? I don't care about the pleasure, I just want to get the girl in a relationship before she turns to someone else.
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It's normal. After some time of abstinence your penis numbs and your libido drops. It means you are on the right path. When i first started my reboot period i was numb from the start, and it lasted for 3 weeks until my addict brain relapsed when i started getting boners again. But don't worry, keep up the abstinence, you are on a really good path...

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It has been 84 days with no PMO. When I started this I thought it was ok to M as long as it was not with porn. I did a lot of testing to see if I could get good erections and used a lot of fantasy for that. I know now that I have made a big mistake messing around with fantasy. I have dome a lot of reading and I am sure it is delaying my reboot. At least for me fantasy is much harder the the stoping PMO. When I go to bed my mind starts fantasying at first about porn and I taught myself how to shut that down but women I have been with and  women I know and women I meet. They  jump in my thoughts and sometimes I don't even know I am doing it and wind up touching myself and wanting to M. Beginning in February I am making a super effort to stop both.
My wife has medicinal problems so for now no sex with her witch is good for now. Last week we were fooling around (no sex planed) and I got a erection like I have not seen for 20 years. I blew me away. I've have had to use pill for 10 years to have sex with my wife. I am sure I would not had any problem. I wanted to share what I think is the fastest way to rebook is to stay away from PMO, M, testing, fantasy, and sex.
BTW when some porn fantasy jumps in my head I visualize my hand slapping a table and I mentally shout the word SLAP and it works. I am now trying that with non porn fantasy. My libido is still in the basement but I am encouraged it will come back.
For all, know that when you finish this you will be real men making love to real women and that is becoming rare in todays world
Good luck all
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I know what you mean.... I have fantasy thoughts a lot especially at night. But one thing I  make sure I don't do is start touching myself because that is edging and teasing.

In my opinion, it will be hard to stop fantasizing. I feel that is normal. Best advice to give you is exercise your self-control. Stop touching your penis...
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I know what you mean.... I have fantasy thoughts a lot especially at night. But one thing I  make sure I don't do is start touching myself because that is edging and teasing.

In my opinion, it will be hard to stop fantasizing. I feel that is normal. Best advice to give you is exercise your self-control. Stop touching your penis...
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I'm finding new discoveries evey day. 3 weeks ago the thought or getting an erection without touching would have been impossible. Yet, last night driving home I let my mind wander to fantasy land and played out a scenario in my mind re myself and my wife. I was hard for 20 mins and didn't so much as brush my trousers. I would need to go back maybe 15 years to find a similar experience.

I'm trying hard not to let my mind wander in directions like that as I believe it doesn't help to the overall recovery but I'm simply saying that having been clear now for over 2 weeks I'm experiencing stuff that I'd totally forgotten about.

Onwards and upwards (!).
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2022414 tn?1329666048
Firstly, I woud like to thank everybody for posting in this thread!This is all I wanted to know!

Secondly, I want to say sorry for the long post (that will be) and for my grammar errors, as English is not my natal language.

I am a 17 year old highschool student.I have been into this addiction for 3 years or so.It all happened because of different problems in my family, as my parents are divorced and my grandparents who raised me are dead.On that period I started reading that it's a great stress relief and thought that I should give it a go...little did I knew back then about this.

Even though in the begining I didn't sense it, I started becoming addicted to the whole process.I started M even 3 times a day in the last 1 and 2 years.I tried to stop, many times, but I just couldn't do it, relapsing after 1 or 2 weeks.I started noticing that I lacked concentration.I suffered from hair loss, ED, eye sight problems (?) and also I had A LOT of acne.

At the moment, it's almost 3 weeks since I last saw P or did I M.I am really seeing some improvements.Apart from this, I decided not to eat anymore sweets or junk food.

After all this time I can say that only today I had an urge to M, but rezisted.I think it was only because I had an argument with my mother.Happily I managed to stop in time.As for the effects, I can feel that my eye-sight is coming clearer.The acne is starting to disappear, even though I experience some breakouts every now and then.Sometimes I get morning wood, sometimes I don't.I even get spontaneous errections when I'm near my girlfriend, but I don't get while "dreaming" of her.

A week ago I had a wet-dream.I think I am on the right road, correct?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Yes you are on the right track but masturbation has nothing to do with eyesight, hair loss, acne, etc. Your body may be getting better because you're cutting back on sugar, stuff like that.
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Im going to have to agree with over on this....my eye sight has become.wayyyyy clearer. I think it has something.to do with.the anxiety and grey mind, I noticed when I first got anxiety my vision was shithouse.
So I can deffinatly see thr link bet@een anxiety snd the addiction.

Typos guys on my phone
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Why you should never masturbate to porn again...

1) you will feel like you relapse
2) it will depress you for days, possibly 30 days at the most
3) it will make you feel guilty
4) it will make you psychologically think you can't get it up with your next sex encounter
5) you will be getting used to self-love again
6) spontaneous erections will decline
7) a female may not turn you on so much when she touches you
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Hey guys what about going to a strip club to check if real naked ladies turn me on ? Will it slow down my progress ?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
People will have different opinions about the strip club. Personally speaking I use to go to strip clubs but i'm in relationship now so I'm trying to do the right thing by not going...

But you are a grown man and you been to the strip club before and you understand what the strip club is for  (entertainment).... Therefore, when you're at the strip club do not expect spontaneous erections from barely naked women walking around. Your mind and body will look at them as women and not sex creatures simply because your mind knows you are not about to have sex or engage into foreplay that may lead to sex. However, you should experience some erections from lap dances and sexually flirting with the women. In my opinion, going to the strip club is consider socializing. You're just socializing with women that are expecting  money in return. So you're allowed to say more than what you would say to a normal woman. I do not think this will set you back BUT it may have you go back home horny as hell thinking about sex and now find yourself looking at some porn or self-pleasuring yourself, fantasizing about one of the women at the strip club.

If you go to the strip club, try to interract with the strippers like they are still women, enjoy some lap dances and leave it at that. When you get home, DO NOT touch your penis at all. DO NOT look at porn. Just lay down and try to go to sleep. By the morning, you will be fine again. Also, this will show you have increase your self-control.
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The strip club is fully naked though, so it would be almost as porn. I'm afraid that it would release high levels of dopamine and it would be bad for the recovery.
I'm still not turned on by women around me (day 11) so I just want to check if I'm turned on by naked ones. Maybe I should wait for a while.
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2022414 tn?1329666048
Did you also feel a difference regarding attention or memory?

I am studying psychology for 2 years and I find it very difficult to be like I was at this age...
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1828226 tn?1323568848
1) yes the strip club is something like porn but you won't treat the same as porn. When we go to strip clubs, we don't pull our penises out and start pleasuring ourselves like we do with porn. LOL... Believe it or not, going to a strip club is closer to socialization than pornography. That's my opinion...

2) It's not gonna release high levels of dopamine because you're interacting with women, not just pleasuring yourself while looking at them on a computer screen.

3) You're expecting too much from just looking at women. You're a grown man. You probably won't get erections just by looking at a woman but you may get erections from deep sexual thoughts you are having about the woman. Your penis shouldn't instantly get hard because you see a beautiful woman. If that was the case, you would see a lot of men walking around all day with erections. LOL... Think about it!

4) Whether you go now to the strip club or later, this is not going to increase/decrease the spontaneous erection ratio when staring at a naked woman. Again, the erections will come from the deep sexual thoughts you are having or the private interaction with the woman. Do not expect your penis to get hard right away as soon as you step foot into a strip club. This may sound gay but look at all the other men in the strip club while you there and you won't see one single man standing there alone with an erection.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
I remember going to strip clubs and the last few years it was usually non stimulating mainly because of my addiction to PMO.  I think as long as you don't look at P or M when you get home it should be cool.

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I need help


Hi I have recently discovered this forum and some of the things I have read ring very true for me. I have to be honest I am a 27 year old man, since I was a teen I have been viewing bdsm porn and using chat site's heavily trying to get an online dominatrix. At one point it was all I was into and whenver stressed or lonely I would return to this crutch I guess. I found it degrading and felt horrible every time I acted out with it which was nearly every day or every other day. Most of my past sexual relationships I have had trouble achieving an erection just with normal sex, initially i thought it was nerves due to condoms but I started to suspect that this secret life and obsession of mine was changing the way I think. About a year and a half ago I stopped it both the porn and the chat sites and also thinking about it. I found I managed to have a very enjoyable and good sexlife with my partner I was happy. That relationship ended about 6 months ago since then I have been occasionally falling back into my old routine maybe every month, of late it was just last week ago. I felt terrible about it and vowed to never go back. I really think I can and it really has lost its allure to me mostly due to the consequences of my inability to have normal sex, and the benefits to my confidence. I really want to just have a good relationship with a normal woman and be happy, but this damn thing has ruined many over a decade. Very recently I met a great girl and we got to the point of sex but my anxiety sprang through the roof and i couldnt perform, I was gutted. I guess what i'm asking for is support, to be honest just to be free of that porn and strange SnM addiction would be ideal. But I would love so much to have my normal desires back and not to freak out in the presence of a real woman. I felt I was doing well, do you think my recent relapse caused my recent inability to perform? It was my first time having sex since my relationship 6 months ago. Maybe there is something wrong with me physically but to be honest I still can masturbate and get erections in morning. Is there healthy masturbation? I read somewhere its ok if you just focus on the sensations as opposed to porn or any crazy images in your mind, do you think this is true? Please help me, I really do want to have a normal relationship, this thing spreads chaos throughout my life, it causes me to be depressed and unsure and effects me socially and professionally. I just need to know that maybe i'm on the right course, staying away from the porn and chatsites and putting it out of my mind has really helped. I really hoped I would be cured of it. My relapse got me down my poor performance made me feel it's all in vain. Im sorry for the long post, thank you all though for listening.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Yes, staying away from porn and chat sites will definitely have you on the right track because do nothing but provide visual stimulation and not mental stimulation.

I also believe that if you masturbate way more than you have normal sex, than you still have psychological/erection problems with a real woman. Your mind is going to react to what you do the most.
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No visualisation, No mastrubation, No stimulation, No simulation and No tantalisation or you'll always have problems with Erection!

Seriously, I'm almost 3 weeks down that road and I'm a new man. If pointing your **** at something ever becomes an olympic sport then I've got a medal shout.

Keep off the false and save it for the real.  
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Actually, hair loss and blurry eye vision are sometimes caused by sexual exhaustion....if you also have ED problems and/or lack of concentration or pain somewhere, it could really be sexual exhastion...best way of knowing if you are sexually exhausted is by your mastrubation. if you have ED, semenal leakege, if you are not really enjoying your orgams and if you dont feel like having sex afterwards, its definetly a sign...
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2022414 tn?1329666048
I really want to know some more about semenal leakege.Is it the same as wet dreams?


As for pains, I didn't get any.Neither orgasms (at least in the latest 3 weeks).Today there are 3 weeks since I last M.I used M as a stress relief, and not as a sexual substitute,but before I knew, I became an addict...I didn't have any reason to do it, nor pleasure for it...I just had to do it...it was weird...

Today my girlfriend came at my place.Only kisses and stuff like that.For a moment it got up, but after some time, it wasn't hard anymore.I feel like I still have a long way to go...
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I restarted on this no PMO due to a few relapses. So January 31st of this year was Day 1 for me. I am currently on day 11. And so 2 days ago on Day 9 I had a wet dream. I have had these type of dreams before but this time I actually ejaculated. I usually wake up before I actually ejaculate. I think its because I am so focused on not letting myself ejaculate. It's been a while since this has happened to me. So now after that dream I have noticed a decrease in progress. Before I had that dream I was getting semi-woods in the mornings. Maybe at like 30% to 40% but that was enough to boost my confidence and make me feel like it was working. However, now I feel like I have no libido once again and I guess that's a part of the process. This morning I was dead down there again and felt down. My erection in the dream was not that hard either, it was probably at like 60%. If anyone has gone through a similar experience please share your thoughts. I usually don't post too often but I felt I owed it to everyone else suffering from this issue.
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So here's an amusing effect of foregoing PMO for over three weeks: last night I was out with a friend and after dinner and drinks we headed back to her place and eventually went to the bedroom. We fooled around for a few minutes and then I threw a condom on, but the second that I inserted into her, I climaxed. Talk about awkward!

It wasn't horrible, as I'd told her earlier in the night about the experiment I was doing, and so neither of us were too shocked at how sensitive things ended up being, but talk about inconvenient!
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1923088 tn?1338603606
I'm over here laughing because I know exactly what you are talking about.

You have to get used to the new sensations and level of pleasure.  I find that I have to mentally distract myself the few times I got lucky.  It reminds me of how things were when I was much younger.  

Another plus of rebooting and avoiding PMO is that sex is more exciting and feels even better.

Keep up the good work, we can beat this addiction.  
One day at a time!!!
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I agree. Sex is more exciting though me and my gf are not currently having sex. BUT I get so excited from giving her oral pleasure. The old me was used to receiving and selfish with giving. Now it's like the opposite.

I'm also seeing way more pre-***. My gf is scared of my pre-***. She makes me keep my penis covered. Though I am unhappy she makes me do this, I am still happy my penis is becoming  more and more normal thru the process.

Today marks 56 days no masturbation and no orgasm. I am so lucky to have a gf in my life that doesn't want sex before marriage LOL... This allows me plenty of time to recover.
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1828226 tn?1323568848
its been 76 days for you and I was wondering if you taken any small peeps at all at porn out of your 76 days...

for me, I can honestly admit out of my 56 days I have taken small peeps at porn once in a blue moon but I don't allow the porn to excite my mind. I think I just look at it out of curiosity, not for erotic pleasure. But I do wish I can stay away from it completely. I don't go directly to porn sites. But when I'm on social sites sometimes I come across some girl who's telling me to click on her link for xxx porn. So being that I'm curious I click on it just to see what's happening. But I refuse to watch it for a long time and let it excite me.

What about you???
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Avatar universal
It's much better than not being able to get it up. You should be happy about this. :P
Premature ejaculation is almost expected the first time.
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1923088 tn?1338603606
Good question:

In the 76 days I have not looked at porn I avoid it like it poison.  If I happen to get tricked by a click on the internet I close the window instantly.

I have had sex without the assistance of Cialis or Viagra.  I was not worried about losing my erection down a black hole.  The other day a lady friend of mine set me a text and when I read it I started getting aroused.  That would never happen before when I was wallowing in my addition.  

I really like the new me and I'm not going back down that dark road. I've blown opportunities,suffered stress and embarrassment.




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The way ive stopped myself from looking at porn is by, Deleting my FB and any other social networking sites i used, i also only use the internet for this site and to check the news once in a while. Ive tried my hardest to stay away from the net because i know i also have an internet addiction aswell, even still, where i sit on the net just waiting for somthing to happen, even with this site, ill refresh and refresh and refresh! Does my head in, Sooooo i acctually go out know :P Go see live bands, and i go to the gym and try and pick up as much overtime at work as possible, I make a point of seeing my female friends so im interacting with real females, and my martial arts is a big thing for me atm, and im waiting for a good friend to return to Aus so we can start doing yoga again.
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hi , am glad to join this forum, i am 27 years old and i have bn watching porn and masturbating for like 4 times a week for five years, i wasn't having sex then but now i meet this girl and i can't get it up, in fact am not that interested, i prefer porn to her and when she gave me a hand job it wasn't fun either. when i touch girls now its not as exciting as before. i suspect its porn that messing me up but there is one thing that is confusing me; two months ago i had fun with another girl (foreplay) and its a little bit better than wit my gf and her hand job made me release twice at same session. sometimes i blame the porn other times i blame my gf ,am really confused and will appreciate ur advice.thanks
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Day 14 and the first wet dream since I was probably 13 years old.
I'm happy because this is the first real sign that the process is working, since I don't have the porn cravings as many of you guys do.
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1943416 tn?1324170361
So I been having problems getting a full erection with my girlfriend I'm really deppressed now its been 2 girlfriends that this happens I think something is wrong I find them attractive they were both really beautifull but when it came down to intercourse Id get hard but a soft erection untill it just went down :'( I have stopped watching porn for 3 weeks I have stopped mastervating for 2 weeks and today my curent girlfriend came over and we started kissing I got turned on quick and I got hard and when it was time to do it I got soft !I'm embarrased I don't know what is wrong and I don't want to loose another good girl cuz of my situation I need help I can get a full hard on alone but with my girl I can't !want can I do I don't want to b single for the rest of my life !I'm 21 years old used to mastervate everynight to go to sleep !am I gana b okay  
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1943416 tn?1324170361
So I been having problems getting a full erection with my girlfriend I'm really deppressed now its been 2 girlfriends that this happens I think something is wrong I find them attractive they were both really beautifull but when it came down to intercourse Id get hard but a soft erection untill it just went down :'( I have stopped watching porn for 3 weeks I have stopped mastervating for 2 weeks and today my curent girlfriend came over and we started kissing I got turned on quick and I got hard and when it was time to do it I got soft !I'm embarrased I don't know what is wrong and I don't want to loose another good girl cuz of my situation I need help I can get a full hard on alone but with my girl I can't !want can I do I don't want to b single for the rest of my life !I'm 21 years old used to mastervate everynight to go to sleep !am I gana b okay  
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1828226 tn?1323568848
You just need more time to recover but here are some valuable tips...

1) do not edge
2) do not play with your penis at all
3) only let your gf touch your penis so you can get more used to her touch
4) as days go by your confidence will increase which means your anxiety to perform will decrease
5) Either try telling your current gf that you two should take it slow. make up some excuse. OR let her know what the problem is so she can understand that it is not her that's causing your erections to go down
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Avatar universal
I've  been abstaining from PMO for like 11 days and I notice I start getting morning woods at 80% which made me got up of bed.
Thinking that I am cured, went to a brothel and had sex with a prostitute again, and this time, I ejaculated inside of her (with condom of course).

Not sure if I am cured and I restarted my course. Today is my 3rd day after restart, and I start getting morning woods on Day 2 and today. I'm fairly surprised with this performance! My next target is 3 Weeks (21 days)

Keep you posted.



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Day 14.
After the wet dream I'm extremely horny all day. Is that normal ? There was a bit of a flatline after I stopped PMO.
The difference from  before is that I don't want to look at porn, I want the real thing.
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Hi, dude give yourself sometime indeed to recover, as your just freaking out a little. But seriously man admitting to this addiction and voicing your weakest moments here really will help. I started 2 or 3 days ago, basically confessed my problem just to you guys. Since then I've been feeling great and staying away from masturbation, porn, thinking about it, visualising fantasies. Stop it all. And keep on here for the support, as we all know its a hell of a drug. Not even going to think about next time im with a girl as I came to the conclusion beating this thing is for myself and no matter what it will let me enoy life more even if that takes a while. Good luck all.
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I have been for 21 days with out P and M... i was feeling all the best result that you are experiencing without P&M. yesterday I had a date and I was at her place for a dinner. we ended up in bed... I took 1/4 of cialis during the day to be ready for that night is something will happen. I was hard at the beginning and then I started losing it thinking about that I do not know here and I might get std... i ended up flirting around and she gave me a ********.. when i came back home.. i was so frustrated that I could not do it.. so i went online and i decided to look at photos instead of P... i was so exited and I M twice.. I have to admit this is the first time in years i M with just looking at photos.. in the past it was impossible... the question is: did i loose all 21 days of curing and do I have to go back to day 0? for how long we should be without P & M?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
You don't necessarily have to start over but I'm pretty sure you:

1) are feeling depression from giving in
2) feel like you can't put yourself around another girl for days until you feel like you recovered from your last orgasm
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If you are worried about stds that will definitely kill your erection. Use a condom dude and if you were planning on using one then put more confidence into using a condom.
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Seriously, don't masturbate, edge or play with yourself for the next 2 weeks so you can see great results (next time you're with a woman). Concentrate on building your self-control and telling yourself "real men do not masturbate all the time". This helps for me...

For me, my goal is no PMO for 90 days but I'll probably continue to go after that because I want to stay away from masturbation completely.

Here is a tip: Try to pee before you engage into sexual play with the girl. Once you a pee, you might find it hard to get back a great erection because you pee away your orgasm. This might explain why that 1/4 cialis you took wasn't so effective for you.
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I think to be honest man, you should stay off it for good, I tried going off P & M about a year ago. And it completely worked, I had been looking at crazy stuff. I stopped it all and in time I was having normal sex with my ex gf. About 6 months when single, I dabbled a little, a month later I dabbled a bit more then slowly I was back into the weird bdsm ****. To be honest for me anyway its like a drug and a crutch whenever I'm low so I get hooked on it. I'm staying away for good, some guys arent effected like this but hey they may be addicted to booze or cigs. Everyone got something.
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Thanks for your thorough explanation.. Can you please elaborate more about Cialis.. I did not get that.. tx...
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1943416 tn?1324170361
Thank u for the tips I feel really deppressed I couldn't sleep because of this. Anxiaty is killing me I spoke to my curent girlfriend and I told her that we are moving to fast and I told her that we should starve eachother I wana work hard for the butty. She understood she agreed. at this point I'm lost really sad I feel less of a man. I love my girl I wana plessure her I know I can I've had sevreal other girlfriends that I've plessured really good I know cuz they still call n talk to me as friends n we do talk about it.its just been these passed few 2 girlfriends that I haven't been performing at all I need help :'( I don't wana loose another nice girl cuz of this.I haven't seen porn in 3 to 4 weeks I mastervated last night imagining my gf  
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1943416 tn?1324170361
Thank u for the tips I feel really deppressed I couldn't sleep because of this. Anxiaty is killing me I spoke to my curent girlfriend and I told her that we are moving to fast and I told her that we should starve eachother I wana work hard for the butty. She understood she agreed. at this point I'm lost really sad I feel less of a man. I love my girl I wana plessure her I know I can I've had sevreal other girlfriends that I've plessured really good I know cuz they still call n talk to me as friends n we do talk about it.its just been these passed few 2 girlfriends that I haven't been performing at all I need help :'( I don't wana loose another nice girl cuz of this.I haven't seen porn in 3 to 4 weeks I mastervated last night imagining my gf  
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Avatar universal
guys pls, isn't fantasizing about real women similar to watching porn?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
leave the masturbation alone for right now. masturbation is considered safe but it is still a part of your problem because that is what you are used to doing.
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please guys help me out, i wanna know if taking viagra will slow down my progress. i am clean for 17 days no pmo. thanks
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1943416 tn?1324170361
At this point i need positive thinking I can't stop thinking about my performance it really gets to me I can't let it go I suffer from anxiaty a lot n this has just been added to my list I'm in my low peek unemployed deppressed no sex life I'm pisitive about the future but deep inside I still have mental issues I miss my old self!I spoke to my girlfriend she is willing to work with me n we agreed we rushed into sex so now we r gana slow down :D I'm glad she understands me .she sees when I'm neer her my heart starts to race n it feels like love we r just ganatake things slow wish me luck I hope I can get better I like to post my recovery so ill b letting u guys know my status u can dind my post on the anxiaty forum my lows and my road to recovery
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I'm about 5 days in now and feeling great, one thing is i've been seeing a girl for a while now. I ended up spending the night with her recently, I was quite dead downstairs until she rubbed it slightly and it all came back. We had great sex and I was very hard but I couldnt ***. The next morning we did it again it was great and I came. Though near the end I could alomost feel a few bad porn images coming back into brain but I kept them at bay. I found they were actually very distracting. I used to have sex with these all the time, shows how much your brain can change. Ive been off the porn for about 6 months on and off and cut back on masturbation. I didnt know about Porn ED until last week, so i realised ive been relapsing and dabbling all year ,once a month, last bad one was over xmas. So im glad i found this site as I'm now going to go fully off both P and M and fantasy. It feels good. Will having sex or attempting to have sex with a significant other hamper this though?
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It's been a few days since my last post.

Friday I went to see an old ****-buddy of mine. We started to have sex and she came like three times.. She was shivering & stuff.. I was afraid that I would burst in 3 minutes or so.. but I didn't. It was great! We did it friday night and the morning after.. had an orgasm, again. She told me I was harder than usual.. go figure!

Saturday, I went to a club, met up with a girl.. We got kinda drunk and went to her place.. had sex.. Orgasm.. I think I fainted afterwards from all the alchool. :)) Usually I don't orgasm when I'm drunk. Next morning, sunday, we did it again.. My erection wasn't that great, so I stopped.. My head was spinning from the hangover..

When I got home, in the shower I got a boner just by thinking about the night before..

Anyway.. today I feel bored but pretty horny.. I went on facebook earlier and I saw some advertising clip, Agent Provocateur lingerie.. wow.. man, oh man, I felt the urge to M but didn't.. I just stoped.. That was close.

Conclusion: It was worth the abstinence (25 days)! This week-end was great and the sex felt so good.. I will never M again!
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1828226 tn?1323568848
remember I told you on the 7th that you would be good to go this weekend because its been 25 days for you no PMO? So now you see how powerful excessive porn watching and excessive masturbation can affect your sex life or relationship. You had an explosive weekend and you pleased that woman like you wanted to.

I'm with you... I'm NEVER masturbating again and even if I do BEST BELIEVE it is once in a blue moon but it WILL NEVER be everyday or every other day like I use to do. Don't go back to your old ways and mess this up with the girl you're with now homie!

And now that you're 28 days clean, keep that going and become a leader on our forum. Continue to lead by example. Also post your tracker sometimes...
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Managed to have sex with the wife, had erection but can't say it was exactly the raging boner I was hoping for-even with Levitra.  The anxiety is still high. No porn for 3 weeks ( a miracle-never would have thought it was possible), did M once during that time, not to porn.  My libido is all over the place, one day horny as hell, the next checking to see if it has fallen off.  Sensitivity is low, this has me a little concerned, although I read it happens..Lasted about 30 seconds (ugh...) even with the lower sensitivity, how depressing.  Staying with it, not sure what normal is right now or how it feels.  
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Normal sex must be beneficial then? Or at least a neutral factor, I started this thing to get confident and have great sex. So I guess why deny it, I just need to know that by orgasming i'm not destroying the abstinance. I'll honestly never masturbate or look at porno ever again , im seeing benefits from this thing after a few days. I'm just worried i'll stop the benefits by having sex. One issue I was never great with condoms I always thought that was performance anxiety related, i wonder if even thats a load of ********. They never told us any of this! Alot of us got hooked on this **** when we were just young teens, its ridiculous. Thank god for this site and your brain on porn. Finally an answer to years of wondering what the ****!
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Normal sex must be beneficial then? Or at least a neutral factor, I started this thing to get confident and have great sex. So I guess why deny it, I just need to know that by orgasming i'm not destroying the abstinance. I'll honestly never masturbate or look at porno ever again , im seeing benefits from this thing after a few days. I'm just worried i'll stop the benefits by having sex. One issue I was never great with condoms I always thought that was performance anxiety related, i wonder if even thats a load of ********. They never told us any of this! Alot of us got hooked on this **** when we were just young teens, its ridiculous. Thank god for this site and your brain on porn. Finally an answer to years of wondering what the ****!
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1828226 tn?1323568848
Having sex during the recovery is not a bad thing. But here's the thing.... You're comparing your possible outcome to atergo and his process was a little different. In his scenario, he went 25 days before engaging sexual activity. That's a pretty good time off from PMO. I'm not sure how many days you went so far but I definitely recommend you go at least 25-30 days before trying to engage in sexual activity. You seriously need to give your mind a rest (clear your mind). Your anxiety levels are still pretty high. If you choose to attempt sex now, you may not get the erection you're expecting and that can seriously cause you to go into a deep performance anxiety phase. And at that point you might start to think this no PMO is working for you when it really is. You don't want your anxiety levels getting so high that you feel there is no hope for tomorrow.

SOLUTION: Go 25-30 days no PMO and then attempt sex. I assure you will see some great results, maybe not 100% but you will definitely see the difference.

ABOUT CONDOMS: Using the wrong condom will kill your excitement and/or erection. It's important you discover the right condom for your penis, something that is not too tight and not too thick. Depending on your penis size, I recommend LARGE=Durex Love Magnum, SMALL or MEDIUM=Trojan Ultrathin
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Anyone else have decently strong morning woods but then they flatline the entire rest of the day and night???
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Yes, having morning wood then flatlining the rest of the day is common while rebooting. The progress you make is not linear, meaning your libido can fluctuate day to day, hour to hour until it starts to balance out after abstaining for a period of time
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Yes, that is common. Libido can fluctuate hour to hour,day to day, as progress is not linear. After abstaining for a period of time, your libido will balance out as it returns to normal.
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That means I am headed in the right direction. Thanks for your input, it's appreciated.
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Well something i didnt plan on doing....yes having sex...Truth i still wasnt into it that much, i still wasnt that horny, erection was good, even when the condom was to small forcing it on i didnt loose the erection....so very pleased, even doubted myself about loosing it and telling her that i couldnt promise it would work, but shes a friend and didnt care, she wanted to be a test subject.... LOL

But i lasted about 20mins, i use to preform much better! hah stayed hard 90% of the time, deffinatly not at my best, going to tell her tonight that i want to wait longer, i did have sucess and the sex was awesome, best ive had (every other time i was in my porn addiction). But feel the sex could be more meaningful. but i was pleased it didnt go down!

24 days or so no PMO....im going to suggest to wait it right out, like i said it felt good. But i feel weird after it, like i broke my promise to myself.

Problem though....After sex we had a disciosion about BDSM......it was weird..i could feel my thoughts fighting each other, I felt like there were 2 differnt De_Caps inside my head fighting to get out, I described some Sex&submission stuff to her and i got angry, i felt my blood pressure raise, not angry at her, maybe i even felt powerful?.. i dont no though. It was weird....really ******* weird......i scared myself...i think its time for a shrink? hahah!
Im going to say right now, that porn has messed me up real bad, i felt like a headcase last night, really messed up....
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I'm on day 44 of no P/M. My libido is still dead, I haven't even had not one morning wood. One thing I started to notice is me getting kinda horny when I think about having sex but other than that I will keep pushing. I'm 21 years old and healthy. I just gotta keep praying that I get back to normal hand get my sex life back.
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1943416 tn?1324170361
I have no problem getting it up when I kiss my gf it gets hard and I do get morning wood its just my anxiaty messing with my head I hope I get better I to am quiting m.p and I talked to my partner and we r gana hold back on sex for a wile hopeing for the best.
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A in earlyer posts we were talking about the no libido, and some of the guys were saying they felt they had none what so ever, until there partner actually came in the room keen, and all of a sudden bang it kicks in.

Maybe you just need a little longer, im going to continue to hold out before i have sex again, i want to wait till the 3 -4 month mark.

Ill nver look at porn again, and i dont plan to masturbate ever again....id rather it be done for me from now on :D ;) hah.

Rory i never have a problem getting it up for a female when kissing, ever...but its when it come to the point of inserting, bang it goes down. But i also never feel horny when im kissing, its like it has to be done to please, but things are changing, I even felt anxious as but it still stayed up!

Yesterday i was looking at a chick, felt my heartbeat raise and felt some rushes, i never feel like that when im looking at women....unless there on the net hah
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1943416 tn?1324170361
sounds good im gana hold off on sex for some time to recuperate and i have quit porn and masturvation hope i get back to normal I don't like being hard when my girl and I r kissing then when I'm bout to stick it in it gets all soft hopeing for the best
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1923088 tn?1338603606
"Yesterday i was looking at a chick, felt my heartbeat raise and felt some rushes"

That's a very good sign I felt sensations like that when I was at the supermarket about a month ago and the cashier was flirting with me.  I know I must have looked like a dork because the feelings caught me off guard and it threw me off.

The feeling of  anxiety is going to be there until you regain your confidence.

The lack of libido feeling is odd because unless I'm physically close to a woman or having racy conversation with one my meter is at zero. When I'm stimulated I can feel the battle stations getting manned and preparing for combat :-)
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2022414 tn?1329666048
So...today my girlfriend came over and we tried to have sex for the first time...as I didn't know anything I couldn't penetrate her even though I tried.I think she was just nervous or I was trying to reduce the pain as much as I could...soon after that I lost the errection..

I feel horrible now...:-(
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Hello everybody.. i'm glad that i found this community even before i saw this , i knew that PM was my biggest problem..
i never masturbated more than once in day..  some guys wrote that they masturbated 3 or more in a day.. wich is crazy.

i never had a problem with getting and erection but my problem was getting soft in the middle of the inetrcourse.. and i  guess its part of the porn induced ED.

Long story short.. from December 2011, i decided to quit porn and masturbaion.. but in decmber 29. i fell off the Track..  but i restarted by jan1. and my goal is 2012 to be the changing year of my life.. and i want to eliminate masturbation from my life..  and my goal is to stay away from Palm-Marry and her five sisters(i mean my hand) in all 2012.. and go from there for the rest of my life.. till i get a full C0CKFIDENCE.
stay strong guys we can do it.
i am free from PMO from Jan1.2012
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just wondering. Sunday night was my 21st day free of pmo but mon morning i woke up and  iwas after having a large wet dream. Cant rember the last time i had a wet dream. Im 24 and just wondering is this my mind rebooting itself or do i have to start all over again on day 1. Today is day 23 of no p/m
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1923088 tn?1338603606
As long as you did not physically assist with the wet dream, that is part of the process for some of us.  I'd say you're still at 23 days with no PMO.
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Just wanna say that, im finding it soooo hard to keep off the PMO. Now, its been soo bad that I can PMO up to 4-5 days straight and even worse at times.  18 is pretty young, and ive been doing this since young teen years, but I wanna just keep myself off it so i can save myself for the real stuff. I wanna be able to enjoy when a girl gets on me or something like that.

I was 2-3 weeks free, but then i relapsed. Soo, day 1 starts today.

=)
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Wet dreams are good bro.

And to jaymaake just hold in there man, ull get there
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Don't worry about it too much. Just start over and try your best to stick with it. I have had my fair share of relapses but I'm back on it. Tomorrow marks Day 16.
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I have been PMO 4-5 times a week for over 12yrs. Never had trouble with erection or getting arroused with my partner.  Even after losing both testicles to cancer and having to have testosterone injections, I still enjoy both without issue.   Fingers crossed it stays that way. (32yo)
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1923088 tn?1338603606
Get back on the horse and start over you will be fine.  You are young and trust me you don't want to start out your sex life crippled by porn induced ED.

Going 2-3 weeks PMO free is good so you know you can go with out it.  

The life changes you are making are well worth the reward.

Good Luck
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Don't worry mate. I am 19 and i've mastubated to porn since i was 13, almost every day. I have been trying to abstain for PMO for some time now but i already had 3 relapses in the last month and a half, and i had a no PMO period for 3 weeks 2-3 months ago after which i relapsed and went back to mastrubating. Its day 9 now for me, my 4th try and i have to say, all those no PMO weeks that i managed to put toghether have not been in vain. I woke up with a morning wood and a solid erection today. I was in a crysis first couple of days, nearly relapsed again, but now i have no urge for porn, i am in a flatline now, but the morning wood i had is really something that made my day today since this is my first morning wood in i cant even remember how many months...so dont worry. Even if you relapse you are not on square zero, you simply have to continue with the no PMO. its not easy, i really cannot belive how tough it is and how addicted i am, but if you want to be happy with a girl, enjoy sex, and have a happy life you have to press on. Mastrubating to porn is only going to make your life miserable since you will not enjoy your mastrubation, you will have awful girl experiences and you will be a slave to your addiction.
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Thanks everyone! It's been 34 days! No Porn at all and no masturbation! It's been good. I feel refreshed and I don't even miss it. I just take it one day at a time slowly but surely. I am in university right now the test is going to be when I move home as well. Hopefully it can be controlled when I'm bored and have nothing to do
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Day 17.
Just had sex with a girl that I met yesterday. I expected the whole thing to fail so I purposely choose a girl that I don't really like and I told her that I might not be able to perform as expected.
Observations:
- I didn't feel any attraction towards her, and I didn't get aroused by her naked body, but I managed to get it hard relatively easy from the touching and kissing and stuff. We did it doggy and I finished in like 3 minutes, with a condom.
-The fact that I got it hard without fantasy or heavy stimulation is a HUGE improvement. 17 days ago it was completely dead unless I watch super hardcore BDSM rape fantasy porn.
- Sensitivity inside the vagina is still low but better than before
- We did it a second time, 10 minutes later. This time I got semi-hard but I couldn't finish. We tried like 5 different positions during about 30 minutes and I finally managed to finish with her on top. It was almost impossible to finish in missionary. I feel that if I was hard enough I could do it for 5 hours straight.
- I think I did this during the "flatline" phase and that's why there was no arousal and I wasn't horny.
-I had a wet dream about 3 days ago so the time difference between the orgasms was 3-4 days and not 17 days.
- I don't think that it has set me back because I'm slowly starting to associate pleasurable feelings to sex with real girls, and it's also a self esteem boost to know that I could get it hard by command, regardless of the lack of pleasure.
- 2 hours later I got hard from the memory of the event but I didn't masturbate. This shows that porn and sex fantasy stuff still has a strong effect on me.
-I'm thinking of getting Cialis so I could stay hard during the second time. If I happen to get a girlfriend during the recovery, I might use Cialis and slowly lower the dosage until I'm cured. Any thoughts on that ?
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1828226 tn?1323568848
I think you would have got hard easier if it was with a girl you was more attaractive to. Otherwise, if she is not attractive, stuff like her giving oral sex will only get you excited. I think your outcome was spectacular!

If you use cialis, use the smallest dosage. Don't use 10mg or higher because  your head ache will be so strong it will kill your mood.
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I still have a long way to go, because even if I'm able to have sex occasionally, I have low sensitivity in the penis and almost no libido, so I don't enjoy it that much. But at least I know that my brain is healing and I'm more motivated to continue the process. As long as it takes...
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1828226 tn?1323568848
You might be using the wrong condom for your penis too!
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I'm on day 5 woo! its difficult though i do feel a bit low today and quite tired.
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