Wife and Sex

[criton]

I am a 41 yr old male and my wife is 39.  We have been married for 15 yrs and have two young children.  The spark is still there! All I think about all day is having sex with my wife. I think about how I can't wait to get home from work and have sex with her. She's Hot! Two issues of concern; She is usually tired out from her long work day and can not get into it (she deals with kids all day long)and I can only enjoy myself if I have anal sex with her.  She does not like it this way. She said it hurts her most of the time (we have tried everything lubricants etc) so when I mention sex, she acts as if I annoy her and then it makes me feel like she doesn't want to be with me.  I know she does, it is just that I can only orgasm when I do it the way she does not like.  Any suggestions as to what can be done so she and I can both enjoy it? Any input is appreciated. Thank you.

[JJety]

From a woman's POV:
You're going to have to learn to enjoy vaginal sex.

She's in pain, and since there's nothing that seems to solve that for her, then that's the end of it.  Would you want to have sex if all that you felt was pain?  I consider you to be a very lucky guy because I have never, nor will ever EVER, do anal.  I don't blame your wife.  

I'm not being mean whatsoever, I'm just suggesting that you guys go back to traditional, nonpainful, sexual practices because you'll never make any progress with her if she's in pain.

[PammySue]

Well, first of all, sex should be enjoyable for both parties.  I enjoy anal ONCE IN A WHILE, and would certainly not want to do that every time.  I wonder if your wife bought a strap on and said, "Turn over", even if she had a lubricant, would you enjoy it?  Have you tried it?  Maybe you should to understand how she feels, if not.

Surely your enjoyment is not limited to that one act, and if it is, are you sure you're with the right partner in life (don't mean to sound rude).

There's so MANY things to do together, have you tried them?  I would look at you annoyed too if that's all you ever wanted.  Try some other things if you love her.  My husband's greatest pleasure is knowing that he pleasured me.  I'm sure you can find other ways to orgasm if you practice foreplay and if you can't orgasm with her vaginally, try masturbating as the finale.

[JJety]

Oh my God, I'm laughing my butt off over here. HAHAHAHA!!!  Get a strap on and if he's with the right partner for life.  HAHA!  You're a no-holds-barred kinda girl.

[JJety]

HAHA!!  Yeah, my butt fell off so it makes it harder to do anal.  hahahaha!  Hopefully crtion won't see my butt laying on the floor and try to take advantage of it.

[who_is_this]

Pammy Sue, you're too funny!

[PammySue]

Hey JJ, you know that commercial on TV where the guy's dog finds the butt in the park.  Maybe that was yours!!!  LOL!  Get him one of those!  And she could go for the rubber ducky.  Then everyone would be happy.  Just a thought.

[JJety]

OMG, Pammy!  You have come up with a new product!  Put some bra straps on a fake butt and she can wear the butt on her chest.  That way he'll have a place to spank while she's enjoying herself too.  HAHAHAHA!!  

Yes, wife, we've cured him. hahahaha!

[Tcole]

Thanks everyone!  My husband enjoyed reading all of your replies.  I think he now understands how discomforting it really is for me.

[worthlesslife]

The anus is an exit, not an entrance. If your wife doesn't find pleasure in anal sex, you need to let it go. Tried it once, but the wife didn't like it, so I never asked again. If you keep pressuring her for something she doesn't enjoy, she may cut you off from all sex period. Trust me, you don't want that (my life as it is today).

[bollocks]

To the OP, count yourself lucky that vaginal sex is still on the table. My wife has vaginismus and in six years of marriage we have not had penetrative sex of any shape or form. Oral sex is also out of the question for her, even if I'm the only one providing the service. So for six years it has just been mutual masturbation, and I let her masturbate me just so that she feels like she's doing something, not because it is a pleasant experience. In the last few months, in response to my markedly declining interest in our sex life, she has started to do something about the condition, for which I am pleasantly surprised and obviously thankful and supportive. So to conclude, don't ask for too much; think of people like me and enjoy what you've got.

[noussoin]

I wrote something a while ago  and so have others and we still see none of it is on here.
Its now dec 5 2007 and it still read the same from last year so this must be all a joke and from your familys you dont want the truth to be known.
If you want to write me back you can by email or U S mail I dont have nothing to try to hide.
My name is Mr 'Nous' 'Soin' of noussoins research post office box 12003 milwaukee wis 53212-0003.
So tell me that im wrong.
                                                          'Nous' 'Soin'

[bizzie]

"it is just that I can only orgasm when I do it the way she does not like"??? Perhaps you need to get counselling if this is the case.

Have you tried Pammy's suggestion of being on the receiving end. I know lots of people started joking here about that, but I am serious. Then imagine someone constantly asking to do that to you (not with you) every day after work.

Really, if you can only get off from anal and nothing else you need therapy.