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Y cant he stay hard?
my boyfriend is always telling me how much he wants me but he never gets hard unless i give him oral i can kiss him or touch him down there and still nothing, ill dress up for him and do sexy things and if he gets hard which is rare it wont be fully hard, and while giving him head, if i even stop for 10 seconds he loses his erection, this happens during sex too, i dont know what to do, he asks me to go down on him very often and i know he really likes it but i dont understand why he loses his erection so often and for no apparent reason, this can happen in the middle of sex, he is 21 and super fit!! this shouldnt be happening right? i have been with other guys who have the opposite prblm with me (they cant keep it down) they get hard from just looking at me i wont even have to touch AT ALL (i am very attractive with a very curvy body) i just dont understand y this is happening. i am possative that hes attracted to me and i dont think this is my fault but im really unsatisfied with our sex life, when i say something about it he gets upset or changes the subject, but this is really bothering me, as far as i know he doesnt even watch porn though i know he masterbates daily, he does have a stressful job but even when hes off of work for over a week he still has the same issues PLEASE HELP!!!




This discussion is related to Loss of erection during intercourse.

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Avatar universal
Calm down!!!

Every man is different. Some men love oral sex too much that they look forward to that before having sex. Speaking for myself, kissing does not get me fully hard because I'm looking forward to the oral sex that's about to come. If you like to give oral sex, I wouldn't worry about that issue as long as he's getting it up for you to have sex.

Now you mention he goes down during sex, that's another issue. From doing a lot of research it could several things:

1) he may have a venous leak-google this term if you don't know what I mean
2) his penis may lost a lot of penis sensitivity from all the masturbation he does when he's not around you. If that's the case, tell him to leave his penis alone for a month and then see if his penis responds better to you. I know this may be the case because I use to go down during sex and it was because my penis was not feeling enough sensation to keep me excited. So stop masturbating for a month (still watch porn) and I also bought the manhood (not sure this is needed) and after a month, I climax thru a Durex condom during sexual intercourse. Ever since then, I vow to never masturbate. I'm not saying masturbation is not normal but I believe masturbation is not for every man. It may bring psychological issues like it did to me. To be honest with you, I was at the point my hand was pleasing my penis more than a vagina and this may be his problem.
3) no confidence. If he went down the 1st time, the 2nd time, and the last time, he's thinking he is going to do it again. He needs to calm down and you also need to make him not feel like he's a loser when that happens.

The same issue your bf has, I had for years. And I went back n forth to the doctors only to be told I am normal and it's all psychological. Well they were wrong. My problem was that penis was in love with my hand. But now I'm cured, my confidence is back and I'm enjoying sex with a latex condom.

Send me private note if you still wish to talk.

PEACE!
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