Aa
about masturbationg
I'm newly wed 23 yr old my husbands been masturbaiting since he was 9 and he used to fantasize about every women he knew, oneday in a lucid dream he thought about my friend and proceeded to touch pretending it was the other women which he so often did but not like this not with me right there I was so hurt he says he loves me there's nothing wrong with me I'm not fat, I'm not ugly and I've never had any complaints I don't get it I think he's addicted he can't sleep and I'm getting sick of it
It's a good point you have. Now if we look at in the perspective of a good strong trusting relationship, we may find something good about a disturbing situation. He may find the friend attractive. It happens, but how you deal with it is in control of who is involved. I would like to point out, he was as honest as a man could ever be. Hes not keeping secrets, and he trusts her by even giving out the info. And that's a great way to start a marriage. Yes feelings are involved, and they get hurt from time to time. But there is much more to see than what is visible. And sometimes we need to read between the lines. He loves her she loves him. It's not the last time feelings will get hurt by both of them. Keep it open and keep it honest.
Your husband wishes he could have sex with your friend. He finds her sexually attractive. it's okay for him to find someone else sexually attractive while you're married but I do understand where you're coming from on this one... Your husband now has you worrying if he thinks about your friend sexually while he is having sex with you.
He probably doesn't because he is still into you but he definitely made it clear he would love to sex your friend.
He probably doesn't because he is still into you but he definitely made it clear he would love to sex your friend.
Im sorry to hear your story. Im not trying to go against your belief system, as it works for you. Im simply looking at this from human nature. What people do with that is on them.
You cant realy say something is wrong with him for a fantasy. It's just a thought. They exist all the time. I dont agree with infidelity. But by restricting natural things, this issue could increase. Most situations of a spouse cheating is due to something lacking. Now, like it or not sex is a part of a relationship. What they do in a room is theirs. I can safely say that women are attractive to me, I look. Im married. Im not going to do anything about it. Life can get very boring if you cant be free with the one you love the most. Trial and error (together). How do you control a thought. Why do you want to. You can come to a conclusion with it. It's about being open and honest. I found I dont want to change my wife at all. She has needs, secrets, fantasies, problems, and all. Thats why I love her. I try to change that then im changing the one thing I love in its entirety. Its not bad to have this occur. Uncomfortable, I can see. Its as simple as keeping good communication. We have a life time to learn about our spouses, enjoy it, dont change it.
You cant realy say something is wrong with him for a fantasy. It's just a thought. They exist all the time. I dont agree with infidelity. But by restricting natural things, this issue could increase. Most situations of a spouse cheating is due to something lacking. Now, like it or not sex is a part of a relationship. What they do in a room is theirs. I can safely say that women are attractive to me, I look. Im married. Im not going to do anything about it. Life can get very boring if you cant be free with the one you love the most. Trial and error (together). How do you control a thought. Why do you want to. You can come to a conclusion with it. It's about being open and honest. I found I dont want to change my wife at all. She has needs, secrets, fantasies, problems, and all. Thats why I love her. I try to change that then im changing the one thing I love in its entirety. Its not bad to have this occur. Uncomfortable, I can see. Its as simple as keeping good communication. We have a life time to learn about our spouses, enjoy it, dont change it.
Hi,
I think that there is something wrong with your husband, to think about something is bad enogh but the touching is not normal.
I'm not completly sure what you mean with the following:"oneday in a lucid dream he thought about my friend and proceeded to touch pretending it was the other women which he so often did but not like this not with me right there."
Was he touching you pretending that you were someone else? Was he touching himeself while thinking about your friend? In my view either would be wrong.
I'm a male who started masturbating at the age of about 8. Just prior to this I was sexualy asaulted while in a pool dressing room. I did not know the male who did this and never told anyone that this had happened to me until I got married.
I think I got inot this behaviour because some of it felt good however the penetration did not. I tried masturbation (I did not know that that's what it was called) and quickly started to like it, to the point where I would do it several times a day when ever I could.
In my early teens about 12 this became a problem as I started to ejeculate after a relatively short moment of stimulation. I still did it but had to be mindfull to have something to clean the ejeculated semen.
I still continued to do this untill in my early 20's.
One day while at a pool in dressing room cubicle I was doing this again when I was caugh doing this act. Shame made me give this up as I hated the feeling of someone else knowing that I did this.
I met my wife and knew of her for a period of about a year and we decided to get engaged. At the age of 25 and a 6 month engagement we got married. It was not untill we had been marrie for a while before I told her about the sexual asault. She was very supportive.
Early in our relationship while married my wife used to masturbate me very frequently since she could not engage into intercourse because of a bad yeast infection. It was very uncomfortable for her.
After several months we finally were able to have sexual intercourse. One thing that I had noticed with the frequent masturbation was that it caused discomfort for me in the area between the scrotum and rectum. I was told by a doctor that I had prostatitis.
It was thought that over stimulation of the prostate caused this.
With these problems and a good sexual relationship with my wife, there was no need for masterbation.
I should also say that I became a Christian before I got to know my wife. Both of us believed that it was wrong to engage in sexual activity before we got married. Even though I had been saulted at 8, I did not engage into to sexual activity with any other girls before I married my wife or prior to me becoming a christian.
One day while I had been working on installing a large transmission on a big truck, I injured my back. Since my was was at a course I thought that I would go for a taraputic massage. I was instructed to undress and just put a towel around my waist.
As I laid down on the table on my belly I was told to remove the towel. While the so called therapist massaged my lower back and tighs she positioned her hand in a way where she touched my penis too long for it to be an accident. I immediately got up dressed and left the room. I told my wife about the incedent and she understood what had taken place.
I canno longer work due to health problems but the last time that I had back problems I went to a registered physiotherapist. In this treatment I was told to keep my shorts on.
I hope that through reading this you can see that your husband's behaviour is not normal. Thoughts about other inside the marriage relationship has no place in your husband's mind.
I do not believe in divorce and hope that you don't have to go through one, but perhaps your husband was not yeat ready to get married. If he really loves you, he would not show this type of behaviour. If he still has thoughts about another woman, then maybe it's best for you if he was to end your marriage and hooks up with the other woman.
You should not waste your live with a man who does not really love you.
God bless,
Ron
I think that there is something wrong with your husband, to think about something is bad enogh but the touching is not normal.
I'm not completly sure what you mean with the following:"oneday in a lucid dream he thought about my friend and proceeded to touch pretending it was the other women which he so often did but not like this not with me right there."
Was he touching you pretending that you were someone else? Was he touching himeself while thinking about your friend? In my view either would be wrong.
I'm a male who started masturbating at the age of about 8. Just prior to this I was sexualy asaulted while in a pool dressing room. I did not know the male who did this and never told anyone that this had happened to me until I got married.
I think I got inot this behaviour because some of it felt good however the penetration did not. I tried masturbation (I did not know that that's what it was called) and quickly started to like it, to the point where I would do it several times a day when ever I could.
In my early teens about 12 this became a problem as I started to ejeculate after a relatively short moment of stimulation. I still did it but had to be mindfull to have something to clean the ejeculated semen.
I still continued to do this untill in my early 20's.
One day while at a pool in dressing room cubicle I was doing this again when I was caugh doing this act. Shame made me give this up as I hated the feeling of someone else knowing that I did this.
I met my wife and knew of her for a period of about a year and we decided to get engaged. At the age of 25 and a 6 month engagement we got married. It was not untill we had been marrie for a while before I told her about the sexual asault. She was very supportive.
Early in our relationship while married my wife used to masturbate me very frequently since she could not engage into intercourse because of a bad yeast infection. It was very uncomfortable for her.
After several months we finally were able to have sexual intercourse. One thing that I had noticed with the frequent masturbation was that it caused discomfort for me in the area between the scrotum and rectum. I was told by a doctor that I had prostatitis.
It was thought that over stimulation of the prostate caused this.
With these problems and a good sexual relationship with my wife, there was no need for masterbation.
I should also say that I became a Christian before I got to know my wife. Both of us believed that it was wrong to engage in sexual activity before we got married. Even though I had been saulted at 8, I did not engage into to sexual activity with any other girls before I married my wife or prior to me becoming a christian.
One day while I had been working on installing a large transmission on a big truck, I injured my back. Since my was was at a course I thought that I would go for a taraputic massage. I was instructed to undress and just put a towel around my waist.
As I laid down on the table on my belly I was told to remove the towel. While the so called therapist massaged my lower back and tighs she positioned her hand in a way where she touched my penis too long for it to be an accident. I immediately got up dressed and left the room. I told my wife about the incedent and she understood what had taken place.
I canno longer work due to health problems but the last time that I had back problems I went to a registered physiotherapist. In this treatment I was told to keep my shorts on.
I hope that through reading this you can see that your husband's behaviour is not normal. Thoughts about other inside the marriage relationship has no place in your husband's mind.
I do not believe in divorce and hope that you don't have to go through one, but perhaps your husband was not yeat ready to get married. If he really loves you, he would not show this type of behaviour. If he still has thoughts about another woman, then maybe it's best for you if he was to end your marriage and hooks up with the other woman.
You should not waste your live with a man who does not really love you.
God bless,
Ron
Dont worry we have all been doing it for years. Dont worry about it. Sexual exploration is a good thing in a relationship. Im sure in your life time this wont be the kinkiest thing that has gone on. Addicted, doubt it. If he cant sleep and he's needing a bit of release you have 2 choices. You can do it for him or he can. Dont feel bad. At some point you will have fantasies about other people. Just be confident and happy. Most of all dont turn sex into business. It should be fun and relaxing. If ya dont like something, then say so. He will get it.
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