can guilt cause an erection problem

[connflower]

My husband has not been able to get an erection or if he dose can't maintain it for the last four years. He has recently told me he feels the desire to have sex with another woman to see if he missed out on anything because he has only had sex with me and 1 other woman and he say's he has only had sex with me in the last 25 years. He tried to have sex with someone four years ago and I found out and he has had problems every since then. He told me that he didn't find me sexually attractive and hasn't for along time but now says he does but our sex life has not changed. He told me he would feel to guilty if he had sex with someone eles so he can't do it . But then a few weeks later he tells me he really feels he needs to do it. And we have been going back and fourth with this. I don't know what to think or do . I don't know if the guilt he feels for trying to have sex with this other person is causing his problem because she was my sister or if he just doesn't find me sexually attractive ! It doesn't matter what I do to turn him on it doesnt work or if it does it not a full erection and then he cant maintain it. Please help me because I'm ready to file for divorce because I think he wants to have sex with someone eles so bad that he can't have sex with me or he just doesn't find me sexy anymore.

[Grahm888]

I cheated on my girl once.  And I felt so bad I could not get it up for weeks.  I told her it was stress at my J.O.B.  I lied.  and that make it even worse.

[john911]

You sound like a good person. I would say leave him he sounds like a *****. You say you are hot too so damn girl stop wasting your time. Also like I said before he might be having problems like maybe erection ones and he might be embarassed and assuming it is your fault or not either way you sound like a better person than him. I know how hard it is to leave someone you love. My wife cheated on me kinda no sex though. Still with her and we worked it out. If you want to really work it out I have two suggestions. First he should get bloodwork checking his general health and his hormones. Second leave and see what happens. If he wants you back then maybe it is meant to be if not you are better off. I'm sorry he is treating you like this. Stop stretching yourself so thin and going out of your way to please him. Buy a  d i l d o :) I wish you the best.

[connflower]

No I don't have any desire to have sex with anyone eles,he has even wanted me to try a swingers club but I can't. He has also said he would feel better if I had sex with another man so he wouldn't feel so guilty for him having sex with another woman ! I have even went so far to tell him he could have a one time fling so he could see if he missed out out anything I gave him a 90 day time period to do it, but he said he couldn't do it without me doing it too so he could not feel so guilty. But I also told him I wasn't sure if I could get over it if he did so that was a chance he had to take.I was married before and my ex cheated the entire time we were married for 9yrs and I just can't go through it again. And when I married the man I'm with now he promised he would never do that to me. ( right) he has even ask me if I would let him hit on one of my friends to see if she would have sex with him. I told sure go ahead and I'll beat your as! I have done everything to try and help our sex life but nothing works.The only thing I haven't done is a threesome or swing or have sex with another man and I can't do it. I have even told him I would try to do one of his fantasies but no luck. Last week end I told him to think about someone he has fantasized about and act like thats who he was with and it worked for alittle bit but then he lost his erection so I know he must have started thinking about me. This all started 4yrs ago when he tried to have sex with my sister and what ***** is he tried again after two years of not seeing her they say nothing happend but I don't beleive them because after it happend the first time our sex life went to hell and he couldn't get an erection or when he did it would last. His doctor told him it was from his life style or from guilt or problems in our marriage. we see the same doctor and I told him everything and he feels its because he doesn't love me and doesnt find me sexually attractive. and my husband has told me this his self and ask me to give him a chance to get his feelings back and I have for 4 years now,and now he wants me to beleive its back yet he still has the desire to have sex with another woman. So its hard for me to beleive him. My doctor told me to file for divorce . I need to find out what or if I can do something to fix our marriage. I am 47 and weigh 103 lbs and I lay in the sun to tan I try to take care of myself and look sexy and everyone including his friends say I'm sexy and pretty and he's crazy I take care of our house and cook dinner everyday my house is always clean. I dont know where to turn anymore. He swears he loves me again but I dont think he's being honest.  

[john911]

Do you want to have sex with other people? It might be an oppurtunity if you do to work something out. Also it might not be you and since he is embarassed he might be blaming you to take the focus off himself. No ofense, but he sounds like an as*hole. And you trying things to help makes you sound open. I had some problems, but worked it out with my wife. I hope you the best.