my big small problem

[engineero]

Hello all .. my problem might be so simple but i think i don't have enough experience ..
i am an 24 years old guy with good health but no exercise , smoke 1 cigarette in 2 days average, don't drink alcohol.
the weird thing about me is that i am almost a virgin because of some cultural issues, and yes (almost) because i experienced some sexual relations but in a unnatural situations and for a very short time. Yesterday i had my first real experience and i took that girl to a motel for a night and everything was so perfect.. and guess what .. my penis was limp .. we tried a lot and she was supportive but no change, i woke up at morning ( a few hours ago) and tried again but no hope !! how disappointing is that ?

even though it was my first time but i wouldn't say I was tense, it was rather exciting ..
is it the first time tense ? is it normal for a first time ? is staying virgin for this age has something to do with it ? please help me .. i am so depressed by this ...
another thing is that i watch porn and masturbate once every 2 days average since i was 17 .. i am afraid i ruined my sex life with this ...

waiting for you kind responses ...

[robotguy77]

well I was quite an experienced maturbator and knew my penis worked just fine, but my first time I had some problems too. I was able to penetrate her, but I was only half erect and I don't think I could ejaculate. I actually don't even really remember enjoying it. I think the first time is just so distracting that it is hard to perform. It took about 3 times to really get into and make it work right.

[Dalubaba]

Please research on the side effect of Vagra. it is to be taken on empty stomach. Then if the erection is for more than 3hours consult your urologist. Do not form the habit of such medication.as it may upset your daily rythm.
Best wishes.

[Dalubaba]

It is difficult to explain as different things happen to different people depending on various factors.Basically there is not problem with you.You need relaxed mind Once ejaculated seaman gets exhausted and may be you may not ejaculate any semen.with experience, you will have grip on your self.I have a faint idea that there is some other medication which can have effect for 3 days.research for the same.
Basically it is best to do it without any drugs in your young age.Give it some mote time and experience you will know how to adjust to varying situations.
wish you best of luck.

[engineero]

sorry for the delay, i've been through some weired changes ... i'll tell u what happened.
i didn't see that girl again because of some circumstances, anyway i had a new girlfriend , and we tried having sex for the first time without telling her about my problem, i was so stressed and i didn't even try to insert it ... so it was a complete mess, anyway we tried another time after we talked about it .. and she was so helpful .. and i did it !!! we had a great time, next time however, which is yesterday,  i was able to insert it and while we were having sex it suddenly limped and i wasn't able to continue ...so i took 25 mg viagra directly, the viagra effect started after 15 minutes and then i had a good erection, another weired thing happened when we wake up today (10 hours after taking the viagra) i was having a good erection without even trying .. and we had sex for more than 1 hour with good erection but no ejacuation .. and we stopped without ejacuation .

all that doesn't make sense to me ... why i had erection with this one but not with the first girl, and why i had a limp again even though i wasn't stressed because i thought i am over that now ... and during sex !
and how come i was able to have more than 1 hour sex today ? the viagra effect should last only 4 hours so this means it was only me !
and y i couldn't ejacuate after this 1 hour sex ?
if u have any comments please tell me ...

[Dalubaba]

Yes you may try viagra and the succss will bring more confidence Techniques i have mentioned are long term process energizing the system. Ther is no harm in trying viagra..
Best of luck.

[engineero]

simple question ...
don't u think it's time to try viagra ?
i think if i tried it once, i'll have experience and will not have problems in inserting or being nervous, and i'll satisfy her at least for once !!

it seems like a good idea to me..  do u think it's bad to take viagra in early stage like this ?

[Dalubaba]

Sorry to learn that you failed again.In Imagery you practice intercourse mentally.You imagene doing very well and in whatever manner You want.This is somthing like reharsing a film mentally.If you can visualixe your self doing intrcourse to a female and seeing her responding to your thrust - a commplete picture till both of you reach orgasm.
This is based on psychcybernaticed,or self hypnotism.
First be completly relaced.This can be done by closing your eyes and counting backwords from 100 tp one. the give titlr to the picture. then start visulisign that you meet ,chit chat, and foreplay and having coitus . In short you should visulixe vicidly. Practice this every day.I am sure this will instill confidence in you and you will be able to satisfy her.
Manin thing is relaxation, and visulization as if it is actually happening.Any thing you want to achieve can be achieved. Of couse you will have to pracitse it with ful voncentration.
Sometmes oversensitve glans(The red bulbe under the fore skin ) is ovesensitive. In such case appication of Xylocaine ointment can be applied half an hour before the coitus.This will make the glans less sensitiv.Apply just little ointment only on glans not on the whole penise.
Forget about the failure. You are normal.This happens to many people.Practce this visulization every day before you sleep and when you get up in the morning.
Read some good books on the subjet.
Wish you best of luck.This visulization (Imagery) can be applied to any problem we face in life.It may take more pracic and the success is gurateed.(visuliaze that you are making a porno film in which you and your girl friend are actors.Imaginve various ways you can do.Hoping to hear your success.

[engineero]

another failure ...

tried again .. and same result .. it's getting more serious am afraid ...

[engineero]

i am glad that you are sharing your experience with me .... did you get over this problem by practicing or by using some techniqe ? by the way i don't know what imagery technique is, so if possible, please explain it to me ..
unfortunately she is in another city for work this weekend, i have to wait a few days more.

[Dalubaba]

Sufprisingly the website has accepted the pasted document.Now it will be esiear to write you in future.

[Dalubaba]

I am trying to write this in Word and will paste in the webpage for you if possible. Writing in word is easier as I can magnify the text and can read it while typing. (I am suffering from Age Related Macular Deterioration and my central vision is affected. I read with a magnifying glass. I am 78)
My attention was drawn to you first message as I remembered my problem at you age. And I know that if I had been guided   by someone, my life would have been quite different.
An un-initiated person assumes that vaginal hole will be as big as vaginal lips and thrust his organ into it without locating the hole. This makes it more difficult to penetrate into vagina causing immediate ejaculation. For easy penetration one has to widen the lips, locate the hole with finger or penise and slowly push it in the vagina. If the vagina and penise are dry, they should be lubricated before coitus. Penetration should be like threading a needle and not like thrusting a sword into the body. If both are excited lubrication is automatic. I think your initial problem will be solved with this information.
In my previous message I had given you three important points for boosting sexual vigour . In the book I read further and found that the other three points referred are for abdominals. So it may not be very specific for you at the moment

[Dalubaba]

Powdering the over-lubricated area (with talcum powder) will solve the messy situation.Women do not didcharge, she just wets the vagina when excited. the mess is created by man's diccharge.
For a good practice; plan whole night programme.copulate three or four times at the inerval of one or one and half hour. this will give you a good chance of success.
use imagery technique.This quite a well-known techniqe for accomplish anny thing in life. If you do not know about it  wrtite to me, i will wrtite it indetail.
Make a plan for enjoying the company and consider the intercouse as a byproduct. then you will remain relaxed and accomplish much more.
wish you good luck. I have written feew lines im my documents. if this website accepts the"paste" I will Past it.Keep me informed. Best of Luck.

[engineero]

your advices are great .. i'll try to follow them as much as i can ....

i'll keep you update with what's happening next time i sleep with her .
..
just so you know .. the problem is not actually the inserting ..(even though it took a while) but how fast my penis limped during it.. erection was coming and going quickly in a strange way and not close to ejection....even when she entered the bathroom i tried to masterbate just to see how it reacts ... it was the same.
and yes there was a lot of lubrication .. it was kinda Disgusting to me actually.., she was really on , but i was too disappointed to give her an orgasm .. and so we stopped there ..

[Dalubaba]

Something I remembered and hence again I am sending you some tips.
Many a time man fails to satisfy the woman.and ejaculate earlier before she gets to the climax.(Orgasm) In such case a man should be sporty enough to do masturbate by rubbing on mouth of vagina and titillate clitoris ,a small nodule on the upper part of the vagina. In fact woman does memasterbation on this part.which is very sensitive.When practicing copulation one should rub his penis  on the clitoris.You have to bend over her to do this.She gets more pleasure with clitoris stimulation  than vaginal stimulation. Many persons do not know about this.
People do different movement of pen ice.One movement which is no known is up and down movement. this done by contracting PC Musles.The muscle involved is when you try to stop urinating by contraction some muscle witn muscle surrounding anus. this gives her more  pleasure.The penice moves up and down in vagina.So  two tips more.

[Dalubaba]

Do not get perturbed.If inserting is the problem  let her hold the penise and ask her to insert it in her vagina. This will avoid pain to her.
If the foreplay is done well and if both of you are excied,there is lubrication in vegine and on penise. this helps the insertion. this is the usual phenomena.If vagina is dry and the penice is also dry there will be problem in insertin penise.If the lubrication is not done naturally then you shoul put some oil or vesiline on penise or inside the vegina(if she does not object.) After easy pritration wait for some time. Distract your mind by visuliazing some other things even like prayer or something. I have used vifulilzing a clock and its hands shoeing I, to 6 o'clock and rverse with close eyes. this will distract your mind and you will not pre-ejeculate.
People who are easily excited are advised to materbate hafl an our before the coitus.After the ejeculation you will take about haf an hour to get erection  and you will take more time in secon ejeculation.Thus prolonging Coitus. To boost your sexual power I give the extract from a book"Accupressure without needles" by J.V.Cerney.
Testicular compression:Grasp the contents of the scrotum with one hand.And apply firm off and on pressure 25 times a day.(2)(a)Perineal pressure Point:the hot spot is between the scrotum and anus.Press her five times(B)..Now make the pressure around the rim of the anus(c).Locate a point called GV1 in acupressure.It is between anus and the tip of the tail bone.Press gently and release. do this 5 times.
Sumphisis pubes contract:Just below the hair line where the right and left pubic bone meet,is a key area of stimulation.Apply rotatory pressure on three points at one inch interval from central mid line.
There are few points more.I can write to you if you like or you may get this book. If the book is not available I will type it out for you.The same thing can work on female as well. So in fore play you can use this pressure point to give her pleasure.This is on page 200 and 201.I find copying difficult. You may get this book "Accupressure without Needles.by J.V.Cereney"There are figures to show the poinnts which I cant copy in this writ-up.
In naturopathy, ther is one technique called Penise Bath. Here you stretch the foreskin and pour water over the the stretched skin for 15 minutes. Rationale is that all nerves ends at the tip of the penise. Pouring water over this part increses blood circulation. It is worth trial.
I consider sexual act as spiritual one.Take it seriously.Use your sexual energy to enhance other positive energy in your life.
Best of luck.

[engineero]

thank you very much dalubaba for your advice ..it seems really helpful unfortunately i read it a little late ..

yesterday night we went for the second time to motel .. and i wasn't expecting much ..there was a good foreplay before we start .. and i had a good erection. so i tried to put it inside the vegina i spent a few seconds trying to put it in the right place and when i got it in, it was limp ! i really don't understand that .. it was really good why did that happen ?

i remembere an advice saying that i should reach my finger before my penis to be more familiar with the right place , may be i will try that next time ..  any other advice you can give me please ?

most people are talking about practicing but how can i practice when it doesn't even get started !! i am also shy of asking her to try again because it's a big disapointment .. i don't want to keep annoying her with my practicing !

[Dalubaba]

You wrote I get erection easily and you are confident of your sexual ability.In fact easily excitable means easily getting discharged. Over excitability,hurry. fear, guilt are enimies of sexual intercourse. You must be relaxed, natural,and slow.Teher is lot to learn about Sexual neintercouse. Nobody is successful every time.You may good with your wife and you may turn ort impotent witn another woman.Masterbation is good habit.Please rerad the sentence.
Do not see porno which will overexcite you and you will discharge before penetration.It will require practice to be successful.Successful means satisfaction of both the partners.Male discharges when he reaches the top and the female churns her vaginal muscles griping penis with vaginal muscles.
There is a lot of literature on sex and how to enjoy it.A real study and serous attentions on the subject will help you in other areas of life.
I give one method to prolong the coitus. Insert the penise very slowly. If it is not erect it will be erected after some time.If you are over excited start concentrating on your breathing.After complete insertion wait for some time concertinaing on your breath.Pump there to four time then wait.Gradually you may incresing pumping.stopping between pumping lengthens the time of coitus and gives more pleasure to woman. Now while waiting keep the front part of the penis(curved pare in front of the penis) near the mouth of vagina where she can grip the curved part.This vaginal part is most sensitive in female. You will feel yourself that she is gripping you penis.This will take time to understand and practice.But when you learn it ,it will give you rejuvenating please to both of you.Learn and learn and practice.All persons gets failure to reach orgasm every time. so take it easy.

[engineero]

i've heard that first time is always like this .. but i thought i'll be different because i am 24 and i won't panic like a 17 years old guy .. besides, i was pretty confident about my sexual ability because i get eriction easily since i am not so familiar with girls , i even was saying to my self:(she is one lucky lady..!) and then that happend ... it really freaked me out.. i hav'nt tried again ... am trying to have apropriate food for a few days before i try again...

[sammy73]

First off, that amount of masturbation is totally normal for someone your age, it won't have ruined anything, and at least it proves that the mechanism all works properly.

I suspect it was the effects of tension, and feeling under pressure to perform - that screws with your mind and your mind needs to be in the right place for you to get an erection.  My first time, I didn't stay completely limp, but it was hardly a resounding success either.  Second time better, but over pretty quickly.  Gradually improved as I got more practice!

So, don't be too hard on yourself (pun not intended!).  This is not unusual.  If this girl is supportive and patient (and it sounds like she is, so good news), and she knows that this is your first time, you'll get another chance, and it'll get better with more practice.