It seems like depressions as these are the symptoms of depression. There are some more depression symptoms like:
Feeling of sadness.
Difficulty concentrating
hopeless, irritable, anxious
Fatigue
Decreased energy
Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts.
If you feel these types of symptoms than it is surely depression otherwise ignore this and enjoy your life.
Feel confident about expressing your true feelings as it can be very liberating. Once you have confidence in your own opinions there is no need to feel the need to agree with others just to please them or win their friendship. Take responsibility for yourself. It’s what you think of yourself that really counts, be the best you can be and the rest will follow.
You might want to post your question on the Depression Site. You will get more responses over there due to the daily activity.
I'm sorry you are going thru a difficult time. I know you want to get back to your "old" self. A Dr or Therapist would be the best person to tell you if your depressed. If you are depressed things can be worked out. My suggestion would be to talk to someone. I don't know if you have insurance. If you do,I would suggest you make an appt to see a Therapist. If you don't, check to see if you have a Mental Health clinic in your area. They have Therapists and doctors there at a minimal cost or no cost based on your income. You may be internalizing some guilt about the night with your cousin. You did say that you thought these feelings started then. Perhaps there have been other things in your life going on as well that has you down. With everything you have said I really think it would help you so much to get some Therapy. Talking, being honest, open and getting things off your chest will really help. You can work out these issues and your feelings with some help, you just need time and patience. We are always here if you need us. Crystal