12 yr old daughter is sad

[elaine t.]

My 12 yr old daughter seems to always be sad or moody. The other day she said she feels like she is going crazy. After a long talk she explained to me (her mother) that sometimes she feels like being mean to her younger sister and me for the heck of it.  Even though in her heart she knows it wrong she wants to be a snot.  Sometimes she feels like she hates me.  I told her she  has normal feelings we cant like everyone all the time. My worry as a mother is she tends to be hyperactive and out of control sometimes. Is there an underline condition I should concider or is she a normal 12 yr old. I dont like it when she uses the word crazy. She seems to be a happy girl with her friends, but when she gets home the smile goes away and the pouting starts. Do you have any advise. thanks.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

Its very hard to be sure about anything during the adolescent period. In some sense, her moodiness and attitudes toward you, are typical early adolescences...the hormones are storming, and she is beginning to figure out who she is if she is not an innocent girl anymore. If you are concerned after the holidays, think about a consultation with a psychiatrist or therapists who specializes in adolescent behavior.

[Actress135]

Hi. I was just reading your concern, and here's what I think. She's a 12 year old girl who is in school, starting to think about the normal things young girls start to think about. They want to question authority, and rebel. Her hormones are probably startin to kick, and she might feel out of control sometimes. I am now a 17 year old senior, but when I was 12, I remember I was the same way. I was hyper, depressed, confused, and I knew that sometimes even though I was mean to my mom and sisters, because I felt that hey didnt understand what was going on, I knew deep down I truly loved them. I think your daughter feels the same way. Also, my sister is also 12 right now, and my mom's like, "she's going on prozac, those hormones!!" (she was kidding though) but honestly..we all think that at times such as these, they're must be something wrong with our kids..or for my sake, family. but this is just growing up. I grew up, you grew up. your daughter will eventually grow up, and so will my sister. so don't worry! your daughter is most likely just thinking things out. She sounds like a normal young girl.

[elaine t.]

Thank you for you advice. You are a very wise young women and truely helped a mother and young girl feel great.  I had my daughter read you message and it made her feel normal. She was thrilled that ther was someone out there that cared enough to help.  You are a credit to your generation . thanks again elaine t.

[Nice]

Maybe it's just me...but if someone (anyone) persistently says they feel like they're going crazy? I wouldn't be so quick to brush that off as "normal for a 12 year old". It may be normal, sure...but speaking from the point of view of someone who knows what it's like to feel like you're going nuts- pay attention, and take it seriously. It seems to me she's asking for help, so...help her. Hyperactive...out of control...sad...moody...and a desire to be mean to her little sister and her mom- if it were my daughter I'd consider consulting a therapist.