Advice for anxiety/depression and overwhelmed

[Isolated2long]

After struggling with performance anxiety for more than 40 yrs. and no real lasting solutions, I'm finding myself almost completely isolated.  Part of the problem is that I've also had  fibromyalgia  for 20 yrs.which I was judged and criticized for until it was accepted by the medical profession about 15 yrs ago.  I lost many friends who couldn't accept my limits or just wanted to fix me.  I completely understand others frustrations with me but I'm very reluctant to trust anyone anymore.
I take Paxil which definitely helps and I've just started taking Xanax.  I have a large family and they are supportive when they can be. But burdening them doesn't sit well with me so I avoid sharing too much with them.
To add to the situation both my husband and daughter have severe ADD. There is very little stability in their lives and I frequently feel overwhelmed with their crisis de jour.  I realize this is very complex and multifaceted, and I think most people's live are.  Anyway I think I'm about ready for the padded room!  If you have any experience with a similar life situation I would really appreciate your encouragement and any help that you can offer.  Thanks for listening and caring.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

Yes, it is a multifaceted situation and much more difficult than most  lives...they only way to work through this is piece by piece, and therapy is usually the best approach. If you can't afford therapy and are willing to do the work, you can a great deal of help from a self help therapy program I have developed over 30 years, online...its at www.myvirtualshrink.com. take the free session, look around,,  and see whether this is right for you.

[Jaquta]

Similar yet different experiences.  My mother has severe head injuries and my family are extremely unsupportive.
When I feel overwhelmed my GP says that my priority is to take care of myself.  I think when a person has other responsibilities or commitments that that can be difficult.
If your husband and daughter aren't stable should they not be visiting their own doctors to address that?  They also need to be taking some responsibility for managing their health.
With regards to them I am unfamiliar with the impact their condition has.  Would having a regular routine help?  I'm not sure.  Maybe some research would help them with managing their condition (which in turn would help you).
I think not sharing that burden will lead you to burnout.  When you hold onto too much it can be counterproductive.  I haven't been able to discuss with anyone how I feel at the moment and it does become overwhelming.  I understand why you wouldn't want too with your husband.  You try to protect him and perhaps try not to rock the boat too much.  Sometimes by averting crises though you put yourself in one.
Have you tried psychotherapy in addition to the medication?  Talking through your issues may help you.
I understand how devastating anxiety can be.  Trust is also an important issue.
If you're not in therapy I would strongly recommend looking into that.  If you feel things are sliding you may like to discuss this with your doctor and ask for more support during this period.
Just doing the basics during these stressful times can also help.  Sort out any physical problems you may have, eat healthily, exercise, get adequate sleep, etc.
I hope that helps, at least a little.

[Jaquta]

I was thinking about this earlier.
I think a lot of the time the stress comes from us not making very effective choices.
Sometimes it also means making difficult decisions that will effect others.

I had a difficult appointment with my GP earlier in the week.  I expect I have put him under a lot of pressure due to my current health status.  I felt like he threw up his hands and put the ball back in my court.  I guess it must be OK to retreat and leave others to deal with their issues.

Several days ago a person came onto our property and our (my sister's) dog bit them.  Although it was very superficial we have been expecting someone to ask us to surrender the dog to have it destroyed.  I have been feeling extremely helpless.
I have made an effort to take the focus away from the inevitable and to take each moment as it comes.  I have tried to remain positive for both Scruffy (the dog) and myself.
It reminded me a little of the chemist who gave me the wrong medication to give to mum (stelazine instead of selegiline).  My family, perhaps wrongfully, never reported it.  This person must have lived in fear for a long time.
Scruff has picked up on a lot of my stress and tension.  It's hard to deal with the fact that because I haven't taken responsibility for my issues that someone else will now pay the ultimate price.

I just wanted to share to perhaps show that a lot of the time our feelings of helplessness and hopelessness are because we make poor decisions.

I think I finally understand what taking responsibility means.  It doesn't mean placing trust in others and hoping that they will act either.  It is about making difficult decisions when difficult decisions are called for.