Does my friend have shizophrenia ?

[jan123]

Hello,

A long story (sorry):

I'm been dating a 26 year old man for the past four months, for the last two months rather seriously. Since early in our relationship, he has manifested some (what I thought were) phobic behaviors: a fear of germs, evidenced by a bit of overuse of Purell, fear of confined spaces, fear of blood, fear of illness. We have frequently discussed these phobias; he has been (overly) apologetic, told me he is getting better about the phobias, made funny, self-aware jokes about them, and does
indeed seem to actively try to become less fearful of some of these objects. Although I was a bit worried, I have never seen him panic over any of the objects he is afraid of, and was pretty relaxed about the whole thing.

Other than these phobias and continuing to live with his parents at a somewhat older age, he has never manifested any unusual behavior -- besides being unusually sensitive and open emotionally for a man his age.  He is always intelligent, emotive, lucid, and perceptive.

We speak on the phone every day, sometimes multiple times a day, and approximately four days ago, he missed our usual call. I was minorly concerned and e-mailed him. He replied that he was feeling like he had a virus and had been at the doctor's or sleeping all day. The next day, the same thing happened (no call from him), until around 11pm, when he called me from the hospital to say his illness was a little more serious: he had bacteria in his blood. He sounded totally lucid, but tired.

Finally, after again not hearing from him, I called the hospital to check on his status. I was patched to his internist, who said the incredibly shocking words: "He's stable, but actively psychotic. It's part of his schizophrenia." What does this mean? How could he have manifested no symptoms in our four months together?

Then, it gets more confusing! A few hours later, he calls me, is completely lucid as usual, asking me questions about an outing we took last week, congratulating me on a paper I gave. When I said, "You know, you can tell me about anything that is bothering you. I am here for you," he continued to stick to the story about the infection, saying he was getting better through antibiotics, and didn't understand why the patient in the next room was screaming. Does he not know he is in the psychiatric ward? Can he be delusional, and simultaneously lucid? Is he schizophrenic, though he doesn't seem to fit the (admittedly vague) profile at all? What should I say?

I really don't know what to do; I was surprised his doctor told me of his condition so readily. I think she seemed surprised herself, and would not take well to my calling again to ask more questions. I also have not yet met his parents, and feel strange going 'over his head' to question them about him.

I feel very overwhelmed by all this shocking information; I want to remain a friend to this lovely, lovable man, and still take care of myself. I would appreciate any advice! -JG

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

I think you should stay friendly and supportive of this lovely, lovable man. He sounds like a wonderful human being.

You can not ignore the evidence about his having a significant mental illness. But if it is schizophrenia, it is not the same type you see in the movies.  People recover from schizophrenia, but it is not easy to predict who will recover and when. Some recent studies suggest that about 50% recover.

You need to talk to him about this openly when he returns from the hospital, and if your romantic plans are changed because of this, agree to be the kind of friend to him as he has been to you.

[habitualylost]

I have a daughter who at thirteen was thought to be Bipolor was put on Neurontin (900) and Paxil(75) last January she was hospitalized send home as schizo affective and is on Zyprexa(20)as well as the rest of her medications.  In July Topamax (25)was also added.  Although there was some improvment in some behaviors In the last month I'm seeing a repeat of the behaviors that sent her to the hospital in January. My once social daughter has became fearful of all social functions, I had to take her out of school as she was spending all day in the nurses,on the phone at school or in the main office reporting people were out to get her.  She is now sixteen and cuts her self when shes angry but when asked about it she is very matter of fact.  She is alienating all her friends; as well as family members, as she makes them feel either uncomfortable or defensive.  I've contacted her father and have learned that he has paronoid shizophrenia could she? Is there anything else that we should be doing, her doctor is having her admitted to a partial program where she will go to school and meet with him on a weekly basis.  I agree with your answer, to does my friend have shizophrenia, concerning staying in her friends life as my daughters dad is the most wonderful man I have ever known.  He brought great joy in my life and knowing that he was ill explains a great many things.  With my daughter it's totally different, as she displays fits of rage toward people that have slighted her and many times it seems to have manifested solely inside her own mind.  I would do anything to have my daughter back but she seems to be more of a stranger each day.

[lucylucy]

Wow what an incredible story.  I bet you are still shocked.  Schizophrenia is a difficult illness in that the delusions/hallucinations a person has are so real to them, he may really believe what he is telling you.  A physician once told me, delusions/hallucinations are like dreaming while you are awake, so u never know what is real or not.  

interesting huh?

good luck,
Peggy

[cw]

Definantly stay his friend! My daughter was recently diagosed with Schizoaffective Disorder-ByPolar Type, is on her 4th hospitlization and ready to come back home. I have seen this beautifull child deteriorate since its emergence. What aquintances she did have, she no longer has. The only "friends" she has now are her "hospital friends" She has severe outburts, and severe behavorial issues. He sounds like Ken Steele, I recommend you read his book, it titled "The Day The Voices Stopped" I think it is WONDERFULL you are asking the questions you are asking! Best of luck to you.

[bookwormom]

Dear Jan,

I think it would be a very good thing to stay friendly with this man, but I would be careful about making a long term commitment. Marriage, for example, to someone with any chronic disease, has long term implications both for the relationship and for any children that may result from the relationship.

[ayyu]

Hi,
One of my friend was said to have pschizophrenia, but he doesnot seem to be, though he was close to me, off late, he has started avoiding me for no reasons, how to tackle this? please guide me.
Thanks