HOW TO DEAL WITH SOMEONE ADDICTED/WITHDRAWELS

[Lulu36]

My husband went to rehab before we married to get off Lortabs, tried himself but couldn't go through the withdrawels. He started going back to a pain specialist due to back problems and got back on Lortabs. I was hiding his Lortabs and giving them to him as prescribed 3x a day, but come to find out he was getting them from other places in between doses. He cannot take them as prescribed, he would take 4 at a time in between what I was giving him. It had got to where he was buying them off the street. It was driving me crazy!!
He says he has since then quit taking them but is taking 20 mg methodone 2x a day to get him through the withdrawel symptons. And after 10 days of taking the methodone and weaning himself off of them he should be ok. No more Lortabs or Methadone. But he also wants to go back to an old habit he did for years before he got hooked on lortabs. SMOKE POT.. That's the way he got through his pain before he got on lortabs. He would take a few hits a day after work or after playing golf to make him feel better. He exchanges one addiction for another. He sees no harm in smoking pot. It's illegal for God's sake. Right now I don't know if its the methodone or the pot but he has turned into a pure buthole. He's the one with the problem and I get blamed. I'm the hateful and mean person he says, But has he ever thought his addiction makes me this way.  I've have tried to support him and help him in every way I can taking the medication. But it's not helped.  He can't go into rehab again because of the possibility of loosing his job. But then again he already went one time and promised me before I married him he would take them as prescribed. How do you trust someone without constantly asking questions afraid they're going to start taking Lortabs again. I know he goes through pain but if this is how it has to turn out losing everything you got and someone you love is it worth it. I love my husband very much but I can't keep dealing with it. I'm gonna give it 2 weeks if I make it through the methodone ****. Is this what's making him act so angry and defensive? And he can't stay awake, I'm scared when he drives, OH!but you can say anything to him. I don't think he's aware that he's doing these things. He says "I'M NOT FALLING ASLEEP, GOING OFF THE ROAD, SITTING AT DINNER WITH MY EYES HALF WAY OPENED, ETC." But I'm the one that's not ever going to change because I'm not a happy person. I'm so tired of hearing that, dealing with someone with a problem is very hard and no I can't pretend I'm happy because I'm very hurt and sad. I'm tired of crying. Right now at times he looks like a walking zombie. He don't see what I see because he says he's not doing any of those things. He don't know what the stuff is making him act like.
Please help! Is it going to help him taking the methodone for 10 days? Can you send any info on what pot,methodone,lortabs do to you so I can let him read and the long terms effect?  Any advice?
                 LuLu

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

Your husband has an addictive personality, and he is the one who has to change. Taking that much methadone and driving is extremely dangerous.  Is all of this being done under a doctors care?  Have you talked to the pain clinic administering methadone?  How much pain can he be having if he is able to play golf?   I think you and your husband have to go to  a marriage counselor and have some staight talk about this, or at the minimum a counslor from the rehab. clinic.  YOur marriage is in jeopardy unless your husband gets off his denial.

[pandora9049]

Hi,
My children's father was a heroin addict.  I loved him so much I accepted this about him and believed him every time he said he was going to stop.  He never did.  He took breaks here and there, but he never stopped for good.  He's sober now, only because he is in jail.  I know that heroin is worse than Lortabs (not methadone, however) but they all basically have the same kind of high and the same withdrawal symptoms.  The withdrawal symptoms, I've heard, can be really bad.
I don't mean to sound bleak, but it has been from my personal experience that people just don't change.  My husband couldn't (or wouldn't) change for me, his kids or himself.  Maybe he couldn't.  I don't know.  Quite honestly, I no longer care.
I also sat and cried for him.  worried myself sick every time he went out the door.  The only reason he is straight today is because he is in jail. if not, he would either be high or dead.
My advice to you (and believe me, I know it's easier said than done) is to walk away.  and any kind of opiate can make a person mean.  My husband was mean to me all the time when he was high, mostly because he felt guilty and ashamed of himself, I suppose, and partly because he couldn't enjoy his high around me because I coudn't stand him when he was high.
I wish you and your husband the best.  Maybe he will be one of the few who can stop using.  miracles happen every day, I guess.  Just not in my case.
Regards,
Pan

[taeme]

I'm an addict on the other side of the coin.  I however am not mean.  I say your husband with his methadone doesn't really sound like he wants to quit.  I haven't been through rehab yet but I've stopped on my own until I can get help next week.  Do give him a chance to see if this works but I wouldn't put up with it a second time.  He has to know your serious about leaving if he doesn't change.  For me it was the law that made me really see the light.  I am a hydrocodone addict, about 250-500mg per day addiction, meaning about 25 to 50 pills a day.  If anyone has any advice for me about this addiction or know anything about prescription fraud please write.

[lovenot]

I DON'T THINK THAT LEAVING IS ALWAYS THE ANSWER. MY HUSBAND HAS USED MULTIPLE DIFFERENT DRUGS OVER THE YEARS AND HERION WAS THE LAST CHOICE AND HAS RELAPSED AND I HAVE NOT LEFT.  I THINK IT DEPENDS ON THE RELATIONSHIP.  I MYSELF HAVE NEVER DONE THESE THINGS SO I COULD NEVER IMAGINE WHAT HE GOES THROUGH.  THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH I CAN TOLERATE. AND HE KNOWS WHEN THAT IS. YES WE FIGHT ABOUT IT BUT TALK ABOUT IT. I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR HIM, NOT THE DRUGS AND SUPPORT HIM IN RECOVERY NOT THE DRUGS AND AS LONG AS HE IS WILLING TO FIGHT , I AM WILLING TO FIGHT.  YES I GET TIRED BUT I TOOK MY VOWS SERIOUSLY, AND IF I WAS TO BECOME ILL IN SOME MANNER I KNOW HE WOULD DO THE SAME .  I DO ALOT OF RESEARCH AND I CRY ALOT OF TEARS BUT WE JUST TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME .  I LOOK AT HIM AS MY HUSBAND , NOT A LOOSER OR A DRUG ADDICT.  I LOOK FURTHER INTO THAN THAT.  HE IS NOT ABUSIVE EITHER, THAT MAKES THE DIFFERNCE .  IF HE DIDN'T TRY THEN I WOULD HAVE TO TAKE A DIFFERENT LOOK.

[deb723]

I am currently doing research for an upcoming book which deals with the side effects and withdrawals people have experienced from Effexor XR and other (like) anti-depressants. I am interested in receiving any information current or former users would like to share concerning their experiences with these drugs. Please email me @:
beach-***@****
and thanks!
deb