Hostile/critcal to my mom

[cdonald91]

Alright for a few years my mom and i have had a love hate relationship. She was in a car accident back around 2003, im 18 now so it was around when i was 12. after the car accident she would always be on meds so she would be drugged out, she would always yell to me to get her this get her that. We wouldnt do things anymore that she couldnt do, and she would get mad when we did them.

So that when on for a few years, now she got off the meds and is doing better, but there is still so many things she does i cant stand that makes me SO FREAKING ANGRY like more than normal, i feel like i have all this built up hatred.

Is there something wrong with me? Is this like "Expressed emotion"

I know i probably sound like a real low-life, but i would be lying if i said i didn't have these feelings. At first i thought i was bipolar but it really is just around my mom. I am negative, in a bad mood, and always curse when im talking to her.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

being very angry at your mother at this age is not a sign of mental illness..it is a statement about your relationship, your past, and your time in life to separate yourself out and deal with your feelings...if you could have a few therapy sessions, that would greatly help you sort this out.

[cdonald91]

Another reason I thought it was bipolar disorder, is I constantly think if ways that I die, not suicide, just always coming up with new ways that I will die like a car crash, get shot. I also have been diagnosed with add and take time released adderall (adderrall) 20mg every day. Could my mood be worsened when it wears off which is around the time i come home from school?

[Jaquta]

I agree with the doctor.  
It sounds like your mum could do with some therapy herself though.
Accidents and recovery can be hugely traumatic experiences for many people and their families.  From my own personal experience I don't believe health services provide enough support for either the patient or the family.  Patients can't cope because they're dealing with their own issues (both physical and mental) and families are left trying to adapt and deal with their own emotions.

Perhaps you resent your mum for not being there for you.  When you needed her, she was unavailable (through no fault of her own.  And definitely not through any fault of yours.)
It's easy to feel taken advantage of.  I did bed pans for six weeks, my sister one time and she is the one who gets the recognition.  We do it because we care but that doesn't stop the hurt we feel (for whatever reason).

Your mother may have been angry because of her perceived losses.  I expect she did lose.  What she may have overlooked is that she didn't lose you.

You sound like somebody who has been hurt and who has had a hard life.
Cursing and attacking your mother probably won't help -only damage the relationship further.
It sounds like you can both fix this but with a little help.

Good luck and definitely look into therapy.