Is this really anxiety?

[davo2]

Two years ago I went through a divorce.  It was hard on me but I semed to come through good.  Most people were suprised at how good I did! I have had a hard time getting "back out there".  when I finally did I was very concerned about HIV. I was sure I had it! After some conversation my PCP advised me that I most likely was OK. I waited the requried amount of time and was tested. My anxiety level was unbelievably high. On the day I was to get my results I could barely drive to the doctors office. When I got there the office manager told me that the doctor was ill and was starting his vacation the next day for 2 weeks. You can only imagine what my anxiety level went to. Those were the hardest 2 weeks of my life. I thought I was having a breakdown.  Finally went back to the office and the PA gave me xanx and Prozac.  Xanx for 2 weeks. I had a terrible time with the prozac and was switched to zoloft. Keep in mind that I am still waiting for my results.  By this time I had developed some tremors and pain in my arms legs and head,fingers. All over my body. Finally I go to get my results.  Sitting in that little my stress level was high The nurse took my blood pressure and it was out of sight.  Dr comes in and guess what?  I'm ok!  Unfortunatly I still have the other symptoms.  I go online to see what may be causing them. Could be the meds, or it could a number of other horrible things. I decide to research them all.  I go back to my PCP with my concerns.  He assures me it is anxiety. I switch DR's thinking that mine does not know what he's doing! the new Doc is someone I know personally so I feel in pretty good hands. He takes a complete history, gives me a physical exam and declares me to be in good shape physically. He does feel that I am suffering from anxiety and moves me from Zoloft to Wellbutrin. After two weeks on wellbutrin I feel no better but still seem to have those other symptoms. Back to the computer and I determine that it must be the drugs. As I'm reading the side effects I'm getting them. Back to the Dr to convince him I have some terrible neuro disorder. He checks me over. I'm good strong as a horse. He gets on me for stopping the drug on my own that I'm not giving it a chance. He tells me that I have 3rd year medical student syndrome. Whatever I read about on the net I come down with. I promised I would stay with the meds. to be honest I do sleep through the whole night now. Tremors and body pain go away when I go to bed. They will return mid morning when I go to my job.(sometimes high stress). My Dr wants me to see a psychologist because he say's I have some issue, probably from my divorce. I guess I can't believe anxiety could have this kind of physical effect on me. Typing this I am sitting here with arm and leg pain and tightness in my throat, neck pain and slight tremor, flutters in my chest and stomach. I guess I need a real mental health expert to tell me this is anxiety.  What do you think?

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

It sounds exactly like anxiety. Does not sound neurological or chemical, and your negative examinations bear that out, so go see a psychologist to talk over your life situation, and your worries and concerns. It may have nothing to do with your divorce, but other issues that are unfinished and undealt with, and come back at you in this form of stress and fear.  You can get some immediate help before you go at www.masteringstress.com.  There you can surface and work on problems on your own, and then go to a therapist if you need additional help. What you do there, at the site, will make your work with a therapist more focused and efficient if you are worried about costs.

[mikey79]

Dave, I think you are suffering the effects of anxiety...I too have recently gone through a very stressful medical crisis.  My dermatologist was fairly sure I had malignant Melanoma and that it may have spread.  This was on top of other school and relationship issues.  I had to wait an agonizing week for the biopsy results.  I was literally a wreck during this time and was unable to function properly.  I lost 10 lbs while I contemplated my death.  The really frustrating thing is that when the results came in the doctor left early that day and forgot to call me.  As it turned out it was just a Basal cell tumor.  I was really relieved, however I've been twitchy, slightly dizzy and spacey ever since.  Of course like you I researched the internet and diagosed myself with several nasty neurological disorders.  Everybody has reassured me that it must be the lingering effect of my ordeal.  I'm a psch major and suspect it could be some dissociative reaction ie derealization or depersonalization etc.  Bottom line, anxiety.  Of course my morbid side is convinced it's just a cruel coincidence and that it really is something serious.  Anyway, I have made an appointment with my psychiatrist to get on Buspar.  Good Luck.

[dont]

Well I can feel your pain. I have had MRI's blood work, you name it it's been done and they keep saying it's anxiety. My legs ache my hands ache I have perceived weakness that the neurologist can't find. I shake. I have been convinced I have everything from ALS to Parkinson's and guess what this all started with the start of a medical crisis or so I saw it that way when my GP found red blood cells in my urine and I had to wait two weeks for a follow up test to determine it was just menstrual blood. I started having panic attacks during that two weeks and then started twitching getting weak etc.... It has gone on since January so follow the doc's advice and get some help because you don't want it to last. I still am not totally convinced but I am working on my thoughts.It is a tough process. If you would like to e mail feel free at ***@****. sometimes it hepls to talk to those going through it too.

[dont]

Can you elaborate on your pain? What type of pain is it and where is it? Mine is mainly in my legs and it's a muscular ache dull (not terrible pain) but in my calf muscle, sometimes in my thighs back and front and sometimes my forearms just ache. Just wondering what yours is like. It is so hard when you just keep being told it's anxiety when you feel it and it feels so physical and real.

[davo2]

Sorry it took so long to respond.  I read so many of these forums that I forgot my password. The pain you describe yourself as having are the exact same as mine. I don't mean close I mean exact.  Except I can throw in pain in my fingers and fluttering in my legs.  Maybe we're on to something with this anxiety thing! I mean if you have the same pains and mikey has the same pain and I have the same pains. And the Doctor tells us it's anxiety.  Maybe we should listen to him. I know that dosen't make it any easier but I don't know that there is an easy answer.  I think this is the best forum I have found.  I am going to stay tuned I hope you will also.  Hope you feel better.  I look forward to your comments.

[dont]

You said fluttering? What do you mean? Like a shaking or maybe like there is a large butterfly stuck in there fluttering around? That is what my legs feel like too. I first deemed as shaking but it's like a butterfly is trapped under the skin trying to get out but I do that all over my body (twitch) Everywhere!!! I also have pins and needle sensations everywhere including my face and scalp and my skin burns sometimes. I am so sick of feeling like this and never being 100% sure. Thanks. Let me know what you mean by fluttering.

[davo2]

Just as you described.  The only thing I can try to do id not dwell on it. I know it sounds odd but a friend of mine who went through kind if the same thing told me that you have to get to the point where you just don't care anymore what you've got. Then you'll start to feel better. It's kind of strange and I don't know if I can do it myself. One tape I bought advises that when you get these physical feelings to try to distract yourself.  If your diagnoised with anxiety then these are just sensations and can't really hurt you. Thats what I try to keep telling myself. I'll see if it works. dave

[platinum]

I have read alot about anxiety and having anxiety/panick attacks I agree with the fact that you cannot dwell on it.  There is nothing to fear but fear itself so with that in mind tell your fear that you are not afraid and you will see that it will go away at some point.  Acknoweldge the problem, be aware of whatever it is and then move on.  It is hard sometimes but once your just fed up with it all, it will all go away.  I do this myself so I know it works.  I say to myself every possible bad thing that could happen then tell "it" to come and get it over with and "it" never comes.  By "it" I mean the anxiety/panic attack.  I was given Lexapro but I did not take it.  I have not gone to therapy because the above technique is basically what taught.  I am by no means "cured" but I know that I have a better handle on things than I used to and if you tell yourself you can handle anything that comes your way-you will.  I hope this helps and believe me I know its hard but if I can do this, you can too.  Best of luck to everyone in their plights.

[dont]

What is the name of the tape? I need some good ones. My relaxtion tapes are only 10 minutes longe each. I am open to try anything. Thanks.

[dont]

Hey Dave, Can you explain your tremor to me? Is it at rest? Action? Both? On both sides? Hands, legs arms? You get the picture. Thanks.

[davo2]

I can see that your really getting wrapped up in this ren't you.
Well I can relate to what your going through.  My tremors took on all kind of forms. Fast tiny shakes in one or both hands. sometime shakey legs or I would swear that I could feel my spine shaking.  I can tell by the type of question you asked about these tremors(at rest,one or both sides) that you have been on the net researching and have found the same terrible neuro disorders that I did.  Well I'm going to give you one peice of advice that my DR gave to me.  STOP THAT!  You are doing just what I did.  WE tend to focus on the worst thing these symptoms could be when there could be a simple explaination for them.  Do we eat well? How's our vitiman intake? From what I understand, thinking about having something horrible wrong with us is a classic symptom of anxiety / depression.  I forgot to ask. Have you seen your doc?  If you haven't now is the time. He will probably tell you you have anxiety.  You won't believe him. (I know I didn't and felt he couldn't possibly know what he's doing) Try to do what he tells you. I will tell you one thing that sems to help me. If you are able(I dont know your age or physical condition) get out and exercise. If I put my Head phones on and go walk a couple of miles I feel alot better.  Tremors seem to go and I also figure that if I can do that at a good pace I can't have much wrong. I know it will seem hard but force yourself.  Hope you feel better. Dave

[dont]

Oh Yeah I have had every test under the sun. MRI of brain c-spine, VERP, heart tests, blood tests, you name it it's been done but I can't shake the symptoms. The exetremit cramps, shaking and twitching scare me. My husband says they won't go away until I calm down and stop thinking that it is a disease but it is so hard when it feels no real and so physical. Today my eyes are twitching like there is no tomorrow. I know what said about the net. I kind of feel if I had not done that to begin with I would already be better. I haven't searched the net in weeks but the damage is already done from the get go and I can't seem to let it go. I am working on it. I am seeing a therapist but I cannot tolerate ANY anti-depressants. I have tried three and I feel like I am on speed when I take them. I am 36 years old and normal weight. Before the attacks I walked 45 minutes 5 days a week and haven't since because I am afraid it will make the pain in my legs worse. I eat well although I have lost weight due to my appetite being down since the attacks started. I am hanging in there. You do the same.

[davo2]

YOur husband is right on the money.  Many times it seems that someone who is not suffering anxiety can't seem to understand why we can shake the thought that we have some terrible affliction. We almost have to rewire the way our brain works.(I learned that from Tony Robbins for $200). I know what you mean by feeling like your on speed with anti anxiety med.s.  I have stuck with my meds this time hoping that feeling will go away.
Try to force your self to get back on your walks.  I think you will find it will actually make your legs feel better. Hang in there. dave

[TN7564]

The more I read your question, the more I see a duplicate of myself in it. I went through exactly the same thing you did. For a one night stand I paid for it dearly. I was so sure that I became HIV positive after about 3 weeks because all of those symptoms you described:  pain in muscle, tingling at toes and fingers, sweaty, dried mouth. I could not sleep and it was a killer. I DID NOT know that was anxiety symptoms. I was so sure it was HIV conversion process.  I almost lost my mind waiting for the results of blood tests. Believe me Dave, it was pure hell. Guilt ate me up every single minute I awoke. Even suicide came to my mind in several occasions. I took tests at 6 weeks, 11 weeks, 6 months and 11 months. Finally, I was sure I did not get that disease. But the symptoms lingers until today and I must be on Remeron to help me sleep.  ANXIETY is a killer.

[davo2]

I think it's the guilt that got us. The fact you used therm HIV conversion tels me that you dived right into researching it in a big way.  I know I never herd that term until this whole nightmare started. You've had enough test to know that your ok. I don't know how old you are but I am 43.  Unless your really young we have both probably dodged alot of bullets in our lives. I know Ive lived through fast cars, faster motorcyles and several other crazy things.  You know what? I never had a tremor or body pains until that one night stand,  You may have hit it right on the head when you talk about guilt. I'm thinking that if we could put that one night stand into the same catagory as some of the other things we've survived and thought "man that could have been bad but I'm ok" we might be able to shake this anxiety.  Just a thought. What do you think? Dave

[TN7564]

I'm a few years your senior Dave. Just like you, I was once young and wild. But since I got married I don't do that anymore. The incident took place during a business trip. I went along with other guys after a trip to the strip club (firt time in over 25 years) then to a massage parlor. The sexual encounter took place in the parlor and I protected myself by using the rubber. But the guilt and the thought of giving the virus to my wife made me insane. I became an expert on HIV through research. I wished now there were no internet so I wouldn't know so much about the disease. The more I knew the more I got scare, because the anxiety symptoms were almost identical to the HIV conversion process.

My wife never knew about it and I swear to myself I would never do such a stupid thing again. Good luck to you Dave. I wish that the anxiety will go away from your life for good.

[Lil_Aussy]

Hey this is to all of you who are struggling with these seeming to be "neurological disorders".  Now i am only a teenager and some might consider me naive or whatever but i would think i have a lot of experience with this topic of anxiety and panic attacks, both personal experience and researched. For the past 2 years i have been fighting anxiety and panic and have felt like its only gotten worse the harder i tried to fight and denie it.  I tried everything. I read about pretty much every single mental disorder out there including Bipolar, Borderline, all types of schizos. I was determined to find a diagnosis and a cure. But themore i researched, the more my current symptoms grew and a few new ones came along.  So many times i found myslef completely surrendered and hopeless.  I wanted to juss give in and let the pain take me under. I even considered suicide a few times. I felt horrible and that life wasnt worth living if it was gonna be like this. So anyway to get to the point, as i got more and more hopless and the less i fought and juss gave in, the better ide feel.  I once read in a book that the best way to get rid of anxiety is not to try and make it go away.  Because anxiety is a natural thing that everyone feels,  Its when its too overwhelming when it becomes a disorder.  So when you find urself caught up in an attack, just feel it. observe and understand it. Let it go. The more you can understand it the better you will be at controlling it. anyway this is pretty long so read this and if you like what u hear so far i have plenty more to say and plenty of techniques so juss request it.

[platinum]

Anxiey/panic is the same no matter what age you are and you are actually very correct in what you say.  You have to accept that this is part of your life and not fight it.  The more you fight the worse it gets.  I am not taking meds although they were presribed so I use every technique I can to accept and move on.  I would like to hear some of your suggestions to see if I have yet to use them.  I have not gone to therapy so I just use what comes natural.  The most positive way to move past anxiety/panic attacks is to welcome them and experience them so that you are no longer fearing or dreading them which I usually do.  A neutral way is just ignore them and think of something else but eventually it will come back.  I am usually attempting these amd sometimes its harder then others but overall I think I'm doing OK with my own self therapy.  Looking forward to hearing what  other techniques you've got.

[Bobj]

Having been through the panic attacks long ago, and how they would change their method of attack, I have come to the conclusion that its like trying to squeeze a water ballon. Just when you say AH HAH, got you , it changes form. I was diagnosed later on with bipolar. Well let see, stillborn death of my daughter, father with cancer, me systems admin of 5 companies, wife not to understanding. It started out as that medical , Oh doctor I have irritable bowl, here take some zanex. Then it was, waking up at 6 am with heart pounding, like a heart attack. Or was it the other way around. Anyways, 9 years later after more life disasters (father dies, 6 months later wife divorces all while I'm in clinical depression) I have been off of meds for 4 years and fighting this water ballon illness in its various forms. It crept into being fearfull of stupid things, I overcame that, currently its morphed into the muscle twitches and the extreem fine twitches where your whole body feels like its one big vibrator. If I let my mind take the extreem look that I will never recover from this, hope takes an anvil and jumps out the window. So I look at this as how do I do in this enemy that plags me. Even if it is just me fighting myself, I will have victory I will overcome it. I emplore you as well be victorious and not afraid of it. It is nothing new under the sun. I hope to figure out soon how to stop this vibration, because it is quite annoying. Carpe Deim

[sunny2727]

ANXIETY YES, I KNOW IT ALL TOO WELL!!! Some may even call me an expert on the subject. I started having anxiety/panic attacks when I was 13 years old and I am now 46 and still experiencing severe anxiety and now depression. My psychriatrist tells me I am experiencing "somatizaition disorder" in which instead of having regular panic attacks ,I now experience my anxiety through my many painful and chronic illnesses. such as #1 and the worst!!! IRRITABLE BOWEL(CHRONIC DIARRHEA) I consider myself lucky just to get my daughter to school in the morning. Big deal eh!!! I also experience severe Migraines, TMJ, Carpal Tunnel, severe back pain etc...etc... It doesn't really matter anymore, what I have,all I know it that I live in chronic pain day in an day out and chronic anxiety.My life has now become a nightmare. I have not been able to work for 8 months now and feel like some time of mental invalid. Some of my family members just think I'm lazy, yeh right I wish that was my problem.

I have been on Remeron for about 8 months and gained 32 pounds I now eat complusively. I have been trying to get off Remeron by tapering it off very slowly but still having bad withdrawals. I also take 10mg of amitripiline at night for pain.

Personally I think that I have fibromyalgia, I have done alot of reading and all my trigger points are very, very sore.

As far as anxiey goes, I would like to recommend books by Dr. Claire Weekes. The best one is "Hope and Help for your Nerves"
Her most powerful message to anxiey sufferers is:
#1 Face it
#2 Accept It
#3 Float with it
#4 Let it pass

Just mere acceptance can certainly help. As many of you and I know from experience tend to try to "fight" it and it only makes anxiety worse.

Is there anyone out there with many physical illness along with anxiety, If so please write maybe we can help each other. Does anyone understand this " so called, Somatization Disorder" that I supposedly have????