Is this really panic disorder?

[trester]

I am a 36 year old woman, and have experienced what I have been diagnosed with as panic disorder since I was 12 years old. I was origionally diagnosed with an inner ear disorder for which I was tested and came out negative. Then a neurologist diagnosed me with a-typical seizure disorder for which I was treated until my mid 20's. A different neuroligist decided to catch one of these attacks as I was hooked up to an EEG test for three days at Stanford hospital. They pulled me off all the seizure meds and I had one horrific attack after another. They never could conclude that there was any seizure activity. So they sent me to a psychiatrist who put me on paxil. He diagnosed level 10 panic disorder. The paxil seemed to help for a while, as did the anti seizure drugs. Eventually I began to have these attacks again, and through my life time they have gone for years and then return for months at a time. I have now been on celexa for 5 years. 60mg aday is what the doc has recently raised the level to. I was on 40 for quite a while with no attacks at all for 5 years.
   My symtoms start with some sort of surge of dizziness, intense dizziness, often in waves lasting for a few seconds. It is not dizziness that a person would feel after turning circles, but a distortion of steadiness, almost as if everything comes real close then back to normal, not in vision but in feeling. I have never been able to describe it accuratley because there is nothing else like it. After I have these attacks, I feel as if everything around me is dark and ominous. I feel like crawling into a hole or under blankets, the environment around me feels so unsteady. Nothing feels real, Im afraid to be alone and I just want to grab somebody and hold on to them. The fear is overwhelming.
   My question is this: I can have these attacks out of the blue, no pattern, standing, sitting laying, something different all the time. Is this really how a panic attack starts, with dizzy waves? 5 or 6 times a day for weeks to months at a time. Then they go away for long periods of time or they may come back shortly. I dont want to be misdiagnosed. Are my drs treating the symtoms or the cause. Ive had test after test since I was young.

       This is ruining my life. I am so afraid to be alone that Ive lost my independance again, moving back in with my mother, quitting my job. I just cant function. I walk around all day knowing another attack is lurking around the corner. Im about to check myself into someplace AGAIN, to see if they can figure anything else out that my past Docs couldnt find.

        Does anyone else have these attacks that begin this way? Ive never met someone who does.
       I should mention that I have had tremendous stress in my life lately, but during the past 5 years, when I hadnt had any attacks I had times of stress too. Why now? Maybe the celexa isnt working anymore?

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

You, like so many others, have an over reliance on medications. I know the fear is intense and real so getting a medication makes sense, but without therapy and a deeper of understanding of what is going on in your mind that sets these off, you remain a victim of your unconscious...Try serious talk therapy along with the medication that you are already on...

[trester]

Thankyou for your answer. I do have an appt. to see a therapist soon, but as for my question of the way these attacks begin....
like shock waves of dizziness or unsteadiness, several times a day. Is that a common symtom of panic disorder?

[Christie2004]

Your story sounds eerily like my ex-husbands.

Though he didn't describe the dizziness feeling--he would have waves of absolute panic and a feeling as though there were something horribly wrong with his heart.  These episodes would go on for days on end.  Then they would abate and he would be untroubled by any thoughts about his health for periods of days to weeks.  The cycle would begin again.  There was never any trigger that we could figure out.  He had an uneventful middle class childhood with 2 loving parents.  Did very well in school and completed a masters degree.

It didn't matter that his heart had been exhaustively tested and there was nothing wrong.  He would begin an attack with an overwhelming feeling that THIS TIME, there WAS something wrong and he would be completely and utterly incapacitated with panic and worry that he was about to drop dead.  It didn't matter if he went to the ER 15 times in 2 days--the episode would end in it's own time--usually about 2 to 3 days.

You can't tell me that there wasn't something biochemical going on.  The way the attacks would just appear and go on for days, to subside spontaneously and not return for days to weeks.  The way a college educated person absolutely would be paralyzed with fear that he was about to die, despite every reassurance that nothing was medically wrong.  Nothing could abort those attacks and this went on for years until he couldn't work anymore.

Eventually he was put on Pamelor and the attacks just stopped, never to return again from about the 2nd week he was on it.  Its been almost 20 years since he had an attack.  He is still on Pamelor and has lived and worked productively and professionally for all that time.

[The student]

What you discribe sounds very similar to what my sister inlaw went through.  We all assumed the problem was psychological.  She had been through a pretty ugly divorce and had a child who was extremely challenging. Three years into it, they finally figured out that she had low thyroid.  This may not even be close to what your situation is, but I would urge you to seek medical care as well as psychological help. The mind and Body do not operate independently.

[bizzyboyzx2]

I used to suffer from panic disorder. When I was diagnosed, I was really upset that my doctor sent me to group therapy, but it was the best thing I have ever done. The best thing I took away from that therapy was this internal message that I learned to play to myself during the panic episode, in which I said to myself, "yes, I feel like I'm going to die, but I haven't before, and I probably won't this time." I just learned to ride the attacks out and it felt great to conquer them. I think I have had them to a lesser extent recently, but being on medication sort of dampens their effect.