Dear Jill,
It must be difficult having so many complaints and concerns.
Crying spells may be a symptom of depression, which may be treated effectively by medication and psychotherapy.
Regarding Paxil, there are no know longterm side effects such as brain disease or cancer.
You mentioned you may have Borderline Personality traits. Traits imply, that the person has some of the signs of the disorder without having the full disorder.
In Borderline Personality Disorder the sufferer may present with mood swings (similar to but not as extreme as bipolar), impulsive behavior (spending sprees, substance abuse), self mutilating or suicidal behavior, difficulty maintaining longterm relationships, alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation, feelings of emptiness similar to depression.
I recommend you discus your concerns with a psychiatrist in order to better decide the best treatment options.
Best Wishes,
HFHS M.D.-SW