I've been to a series of doctors over the past years attempting to find relief from what I've been told is depression. It runs in our
familyBirth control and family planning
Choosing a primary care provider
Ewing’s sarcoma
Family troubles - resources, my father has been terribly effected and I'm certain the same is happening to me.
The symptoms are extreme lack of energy, motivation, interest in life, focus, etc... In a nutshell, I'm "slipping away" and feel as though I'm becoming a shell of a person. I know I have potential as a person, but more and more just making it through a day is an accomplishment. I just turned 40 -- I have no real life, whatever is wrong with me has robbed me of that.
I've tried several SSRI's, as well as
EffexorEffexor
Effexor xr,
Cylert,
WellbutrinWellbutrin
Wellbutrin sr
Wellbutrin xl, and now Serzone. 3 weeks into Serzone hasn't had an effect, if it doesn't work, the doctor wants to try a MAOI.
About a year ago, I read about
RitalinRitalin
Ritalin la
Ritalin-sr being used in treatment resistent people, as well as those with symptoms like mine. I read the newsgroups as well and have run into quite a few people who have been helped by this treatment, and some who haven't. Many of their situations could have been mine, finally finding some relief after other medications had failed.
I found out quickly that doctors (HMO) don't want to prescribe this, and was referred to a PDOC. The
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First-testosterone mc told me it was only for children, the second said it was used only if shock therapy didn't work, the third appeared to think I was their to entrap him. I'm back with the first continuing with medications that don't help -- not sure what else to do. She went as far as to prescribe Cylert, unfortunately I seem to be immune to it's effects.
I can't help but believe Ritalin, or Adderall
(adderrall), would help me. I could very well be wrong, but at this point I feel like I'll never find out. Originally, I had a sense of hope there was an effective treatment for me -- but now I just feel hopeless.
I'm hoping someone who reads this will have a colleague or doctor in the Los Angeles area that will at least consider this type of treatment.
If someone does respond, please also copy my email address: ***@****. Thanks
I'm a male with a history of severe depression and some kind personality disorder. A few symptoms: severe self-hatred and social anxiety, inability to emotionally connect with others, bulimia, depression, etc., etc. I'm 28, and frankly my life basically has been hell. I struggled against the social anxiety; I've dated, tolerating the high levels of anxiety, made friends, attempted to work through problems, and son on. I've also gotten therapy, and I've tried prozac and paxil. In in the end, none of these things worked.
The other day I tried (an un-prescribed dose of) Adderall (adderrall) and it instantaneously changed me, lifting the depression and negative thinking; I was shocked at how I had lived; I felt care welling up in me--for myself and people around me, and I was no longer afraid to express it. I experienced no side effects. It just seemed like an instant cure... After the dose wore off, I went back to the old me. A few days passed. Then I tried another unprescribed dose, and it had the same effect.
I'm exhilerated and frightened at the same time. Part of me wants to believe that I've found the right medication for truly abominable level of mental disorder. On the other hand, I release that Adderall (adderrall) is an addictive stimulant, and that perhaps its effectiveness just wears off. Finally, I'm at a loss as to why there's so little mention of the drug in connection to depression and related disorders, and I'm afraid I won't be able to find a psychiatrist to prescribe it to me.
One thing I will say: the peace brought by adderall (adderrall) basically gave me my first awareness of a mental outlook that wasn't fundamentally hellish--a few hours of normal interaction with others felt worth the last 18 years put together; in other words, I'd gotten so used to constant pain and mental disorder that I'd lost sight of the difference, of how life could be, and perhaps is for those who aren't severely mentally ill.
I'm looking on some professional opinions on whether what I experienced was merely the temporary and ultimately addictive high of an amphetamine, or something that is useful for long term management of mental illness.