No Family Support

[Betty]

I have been depresed for over a year and a half with no medicines helpin yet. I have been on Remeron, Celexa, Prozac, Serzone now paxil for over 4 weeks I now feel like I am just excisting, I am not sad nor happy, I tried to kill myself a few weeks ago because of no family support I feel like I am in this by my self, I forgot to mention chonic pain due to injury, will things ever look up again I am so scared going through this alone, in my household you are not allowed to say the pain word and you better have a smile and never mention you need to talk because you are feelin down, like I saaid it is hard to get better in a neg, family, I am 39 and married, kids are married and gone, I do see a psyhchrist and psychologist but I just am not feelin good about me, any help with how to handle this

[HFHS.MD-AJ]

Betty,

It must be difficult suffering from depression and chronic pain, two conditions that not uncommonly co-exist. If different antidepressant medication trials are unsuccessful, consideration may be given to Electro-Convulsive Therapy (ECT). I urge you to continue working closely with your treating clinicians, especially as you report that you do not have any significant family support. Inviting your family members to accompany you to sessions with your psychiatrist/psychologist may help increase their understanding of your illness.

[Sara]

Betty,

Hi, I'm am sorry to hear that you have no family support.
That makes it hard. I suffer from depression,I also have
chronic pain/illness.I also tried to end my life a few
weeks ago and it scared me. Please keep reaching out to
people around you, dont give up. I did some reading about
chronic pain and how it can effect a person emotionally,
psycologically. The perception of how the pain effects
ones capabilities, weither it makes you feel helpless ect.
makes a big difference.

I see a counselor,she's a Clinical Social Worker.She is very
helpfull to me. I trust her and she has alot of great ideas
to help me.She has suggested that I write a letter to whomever
I feel is doing something that really hurts me, or to let
them know how I am feeling. If people are hard to talk to
sometimes a note can get through to them.If you decide not to give them the note thats ok too. It helps to vent.

It seemslike somehow you need to try and get through to family that you need support and understanding.They seem to need to be
educated about depression and chronic pain, this may help
them understand better.Maby if you find a good web page about
these subjects you could print it out and ask them to give
it a chance and read it.My attempt to end my life was out of
desperation I just want someone to help me.I want my Dr's to
find out whats wrong with my body (I have gastroparesis,motilty
problems with my intestines and chronic pain in my abdomen)
This all came about after surgery. I want to feel normal again.

I also have a very "deep conflict" about the relationship
that I am in now and that is making everything Im going
through a bit worse. Ive been working on that in counseling.

I try to read alot or draw, listen to music I like or rent
funny movies sometimes, to help distract myself and to cheer
myself up.When I feel sad sometimes I will call my cousin
(whom Im close to) and just chat. I dont always tell her Im
depressed, the conversation can help me forget about it for
a while.I take Celexa and it has helped me a little. I dont
get extreme lows as much anymore.

Please,Please dont give up ! Can you talk to your children?
I know no matter what is going on in my life if my mom
wrote me or called me and said she is having trouble with
depression, I would do ANYTHING to help her. I would not want
her to leave me. Moms and Dads are a strong root for children
in this world (grown or young). Well Im no Dr. as you can tell,
but I hope I helped in some way? Hang in there,take one day
at a time. I hope you are doing well. Try to laugh about
something every day and get hugs as much as you can!

Good Luck :)
Sara

[Barbara]

Betty:

It is very good to be able to write about your problems.  I believe it is difficult for mere humans to really listen to others because we all have such a complicated agenda.  Sometimes when I feel alone (often) I realize that I am probably not listening that carefully to those who need me also.  My children sometimes come to me with problems and I hear myself saying "in a minute" or "can I get back to you".  We are not alone, really.  Others do care, they may not realize how much we need them sometimes.

A family that requires us to only show them the good side, with smiles and cheer, seems unfair.  Life is not all "UP".  Our lives include misfortunes, sadness and loss.  My husband wonders why I am indecisive so much.  Yet, every time I take a stand, he abuses me.  We must all bow to him in our house, or he becomes enraged.  The way I handle this is by realizing that he has some real problems to work out.  For some reason, he is very insecure and behaves like a bully in order to gain control.  This is the OJ Simpson syndrome (from my point of view).  So, we go along and avoid, evade, duck, pray for business trips, etc.  There are good times, too.

I hope you can see that, we all need a friend and some understanding (some more than others) and it can come from strangers, too.  In fact, it is more likely to come from strangers.  Don't discount kind acts by others - enjoy them.

You raised children - a tremendous job by anyone's standards.  I hope you realize what a huge accomplishment that is.

Thinking about you today - good luck

[Betty]

I want to thank each of you nice people, I seem to be doing fair on the paxil but I do not think it will all come together until family unstands and supports me thanks every one