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Mental Health (Expert Forum)
Obviously, I need some advice
Answered by
Roger Gould, M.D. - Mental Health, Wellness
Questions posted in the Mental Health forum are being answered by Dr. Roger L. Gould, author of the Mastering Stress and Depression program and affiliated with the UCLA. Department of Psychiatry. Topics covered include anger, attention deficit disorder (ADD) , bipolar disorder , dementia , electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) , learning disabilities, memory, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) , panic , personality disorders, phobias , post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) , schizophrenia , stress , transitions, and work problems.
Obviously, I need some advice
by thissuckshelpme, Jun 20, 2003 12:00AM
I think my problem has many sources. When I was 20 I was diagnosed with OCD, not so much as physical repetitiveness, but mental. Thoughts keep circulating in my head until I say something to somebody (usually my family) that relaxes my fears. Pretty annoying and embarrassing. Usually, when I'm busy with school and work, I'm fine. I use it as a motivator for studying, getting my work done, going to the gym, etc. Only when I have time off, is when it gets pretty bad. Still it is not a healthy way to live. Anyway, that is not the major problem. The problem is that OCD is interfering with my bedroom life. I have a huge fear of getting a girl pregnant or getting an STD. Even if I have protected sex and check the condom afterwards, I still worry and lose sleep for about 2-3 weeks (checking all STD/pregnancy websites, condom failure percentage, etc.). Also fear phone calls from the girl. These occurrences involved one night stands or very short relationships and alcohol is usually involved...I've never had a long-term relationship. Well I'm 24 now and the problem has escalated into me losing an erection when I'm about to put on a condom or when a condom is on for a short amount of time. I'm fine for all the action leading up to the big game, but when it is time..I basically freak out. However, a few months ago I had sex with a girl who was on birth control and none of the effects took place. I know the plumbing still works, because I sometimes wake up with it and of course, porn works. So the problem is, when I go out on a date or to a bar and take the girl home, my OCD kicks in and I think I'm not going to get an erection and unfortunately I don't. Which in turn, leaves me to obsess about it, feel extremely depressed, and is killing my self-esteem. I know this can be solved and it is all in my head. However, I don't like anti-depressants. Maybe I can only be with woman I am familiar with? There has to be answers. Please Help.
Doctor's Answer
by Roger Gould, M.D., Jun 23, 2003 12:00AM
, Jun 23, 2003 12:00AM
Its defintely in your head. Antidepressants are not the right solution. Either counseling or taking your last suggestion more serioiusly, changing your relationship to sex and women, so it less about one night stands and more about real connection with a person you trust. That will probably fix it for you. If not, you should be talking to a therapist and learn more about yourself that way.
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You may also need to look into taking better care of your health from a natural perspective such as plenty of sleep, exercise, relaxation and a good healthy diet.It will really pay off in the long run.I wish you all the best anyway.
peace,
amber
I have a similar type of OCD, which is embarrassing too, because it seems so personal. I can't stop thinking of being infected from other people, mostly I keep worrying about being touched..and I know that it's irrational, but it's difficult to get over it because I've had the thoughts since I was just really little, like, 8 or 10, but they have only gotten worse now, before I could deal with it but I usually had to go and do a hell of a lot of drinking! now when I am around people I don't know I get very worried about being touched by them, and it just freaks me out, and I know what you mean it can really screw with your self esteem, anyway all I know is SSRI'S didn't do anything for me, and the new SNRI'S make anxiety a zillion times worse. But right now I take xanax and consider it as a sort of bandaid to help while I face the fears, because you need to build up self help methods naturally when it comes to OCD, but if it's really making it difficult to even be around people, then maybe talk to a pdoc or therapist.
But, after a couple years and more research and more insight into myself, I found that for me, it is not OCD. It's a combination of anxiety, and a low threshold for traumatic events so I have a lot of mild post-traumatic flashbacks.
Anyway, that's what it's like for me, just thought I'd throw that in here.
-HardAnxiety
www.hardanxiety.blogspot.com
I never thought that i will be on a topic like this discussing such a matter.....As it seems ,"it can happen to anyone"
I have a ocd and i strongly believe that it is mental from the fact that i face this problem only when i am trying to come to
sexual intercourse with a girl for the first time.
This happens to me all the time,but as soon as I achieve after
endless efforts to have a full erection and have sex with a girl everything becomes much easier for me,I know that my problem is psychological:(...I just cant accept that most of my friends can go with so different women and that i cant do the same.I am just 21 and it's logical that i would like to have sexual activity not with only one woman but its not just that,even if I will be with a woman for a long time with how can avoid my 1st time failure?If the female is a virgin things would become really really worse cause you are considered as the "expierienced one" something which will make you even more anxious.
There must be a way to cure this without medication.
Did anyone from you guys that faced(or still face) that kind of problem cured it?If I cure my self is it sure that this problem
will vanish from my life or shall I live with the fear that It will happen to me again?
My mind is spinning like crazy.With the last 2 girls I tried to do something(more like a one night stand) I failed...
I was trying to have a full erection and I caught my self shaking!What da f@ck I mean...how can other ppl have sex and not be at least a bit anxious?
I think ......and...hope that I can cure this problem by myself,
as u all say it that kind of thing is only in my mind.
What I only ask for is some advise from an expert or at least ppl with the same problem which will help me get in time this problem over.PLZ HElP I AM DESPERATE:(