PLEASE HELP MY HEAD!!!

[Cindy Nicolaw]

Hi, I am 38 years and have been too a # of doctors about my memory and they just label me depressed. Your damn right I'm depressed they would be too if they could not remember anything.I told them that my short term memory was shot. I gave in, I tried their way and took different antidepressants and none of them worked. It started about 6 years ago after I had taken a deproprovera shot, 3 to be exact, after stopping I did not have a period for 1 in a half years. Now they are different, having one or two a month, sometimes old blood. Can there be any correlation between the two.I took a hormone test,normal. I took all my blood tests, normal thyroid, normal, Pap,normal.. , I know in my heart something is wrong, I used to be very outgoing, never met a stranger type person with a strong personality, very creative, Now I pray I die, I don't socialize, I can't keep a thought in my head. I can't remember much, my head feels like its on channel 3, and information cannot penetrate.Is it possible that a person can have to much activity in their head, I don't mean information or too many things on my mind I mean too much stimulation??? The reason I ask is that when I do want to say something I have trouble getting it out,and my head always feels funny, not like a headache but kinda like too much activity but all distorted. I have trouble paying attention my mind seems to just take a vacation, thats frustrating too.I am just existing. I haven't grown or retained anything new in 6 years, I just want some of the girl back that I once was.Everything I read for people under going memory loss are suppose to be 65 years and up,yet I have all the symptoms.I am losing faith in the medical profession, I do not have insurance now cuz they didn't cover anything mental and it got to be quite an expense. Its always lets try this and that, but its all on my expence. Have you come across anyone experiencing something similar. Please help, I am desparate, tired and don't have the energy to fight.   Cindy
This is what I'm doing: I take ginko, sam-e, piracetam, colon cleanse, all the vitamin B's, colostrum, now I am about to add  vinposetine.

[HFHS MD - RG]

From your description, it sounds like you may be suffering from Bipolar Disorder.

A diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder is having symptoms such as irritability, inflated self-esteem, decreased need for sleep, being more talkative than usual, racing thoughts, agitation, and excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences (e.g. shopping sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments).Racing thoughts are defined as numerous thoughts or ideas entering your mind at the same time. For example, having a thought of wanting to clean the room at the same time having the thought of cooking for dinner, balancing the checkbook, etc. Pressured speech on the other hand, you are more talkative than usual or pressured to keep on talking. This is associated with speech that is rapid and oftentimes the listener is unable to comprehend adequately what you are talking about.

This may alternate with episodes of depression charaterized by feelings of sadness, decreased interest in pleasurable things, sleep disturbance, poor appetite, poor concentration, low energy that may last for at least 2 weeks.

I am not too inclined with the medications that you listed as their effectiveness are not backed by clinical research. Also, because these medications are manufactured by different companies, other ingredients are usually added that may worsen your current condition.

You may want to consult your local community mental health if you cannot afford an out-of pocket expense to help treat you psychiatric problem.

[Cindy Nicolaw]

Maybe you misunderstood me.I don't have anything on my mind. I hardly ever talk any more because I have to stop so many times to figure out what it is I am trying to say. I'll go see a movie and I can see the same movie the next day and its like seeing it for the first time. Its something that interests me too. I used to be able to tell you almost word for word about the whole movie, now I can only tell you if I liked or didn't like it. These are things I used to really love, I used to be able to embelish one hell of a story, now I struggle to remember the story at all. I have lost all passion for anything, cuz I have to try so hard to remember a morsel of it. Their are definetly not! different thoughts racing through my head I try to find even one thought my brain is on stand by and it has been for 6 years. I am a hairdresser, and I am struggling to keep the clients I do have. Here's an incident,(very common now) I will give a lady a perm, she is there for 2 hours she tells me about this that an the other,she comes in again 4 weeks later, says how much she loved her hair and I swear I have never seen that woman before in my life. That is pretty scary. Could it be something different??? Because giving me your description of bipolar I don't see any similarities at all.

[Barbara]

Just a thought but some food allergies or even vitamin supplements can cause those symptoms. Let's hope it's not something serious like early alsheimers! Spelling is wrong but you know what I mean. You may want to check a Neurologist.

[p]

Cindy, I can idenify with your frustration at not being heard or understood. Part of my depression is what I call scattered thinking. Hard to explain but basicly it's an inability to follow a thought all the way through. I get part, then loose it, and go somewhere else. I also have periods where my thought process seems fine (I think) but I could not get the words out of my mouth.  It is almost as if I think in images rather than words.  It has helped me a lot to put almost everything in writing.  I can see it getting worse as time goes on. Since things come to me at different times I can then put them together when I need to. ie.before going to a Dr. I know I can't depend on me to be able to remember what to tell them. Ironicly, I'm a hairdresser too. Sometimes I don't think people want to hear us because they don't have a clue as to what to do about it. I believe it is Coline that people with MS take to help with their memeries. Check it out. Good luck.

[chad]

I was wondering, what type of vitamin supplements can cause these type of symptoms?  I'm taking some supplements and am experiencing some of the same problems.  Thanx!

[Barbara]

I am not an expert in vitamins so I can not answer you accuratly, but I have read that some vitamins can cause toxicity if mixed with other vitamins, prescribed drugs or taken at too high of dosages. You may want to consult a nutritionist type of doctor for your answers.

[Suzanne]

I can relate to alot of what you talked about.  I was diagnosed as bi-polar at a drug abuse treatment center about 7 years ago. (I will have 7 yrs of recovery July 10th)  I didn't agree as I understood manic as being extreme. I chased after depression and treatment for that ever since.  Whenever my doctor and I would try to figure out why this medicine change or that medicine change wasn't working, we would touch on bi-polar and I just didn't see it.  In the meantime, I married someone that was classic manic-depressive.  I went to a garage sale one day and bought a book "A Brilliant Madness" the story of Patty Duke.  My idea was to learn more about my husband's disease but much to my surprise, I found myself!!  After a chapter written by Patty Duke, there was a chapter written by clinical people.  It describes alot of different mental diseases.  Well, I finally saw myself - not working but staying in the house staring off into space ( I call it Zoning out - I was told it is dissociating)  I have done it for years - as a child I was called a daydreamer.  It is something my little mind learned to do when life was too tough.  The other symptoms I have is when I go to talk to someone, my mind is thinking one thing, and my mouth says something totally different or my mind is thinking one thing and my pen says something else.  You get the idea?
I just got back from a hospital- acute crisis ctr.  I also had the blessing of 9 days with their hospital day program.  I had the opportunity of learning some tools about how to stay in the moment.  You weren't even allowed to go in your purse for your medicine while group was going on!!  How many times have I gone into another room and don't remember why I went there in the first place or better yet, open the fridge to find a sponge inside.  My sister and I always joked about we were so smart that we could multi-task.  
For the record, I tried the health food bit making magic formulas with bee pollen, green magma, etc.  Do yourself a favor, get help.  Go to whatever lengths you must in order to get help - I even had to use the buzz word "committ sucide" in order to be hospitalized for help.  Thank God, it didn't have to come to that but I am here to tell you, it is worth the effort, my medicine is helping, (I still do zone out, but oh well) it sure does beat being held a hostage in my own home staring off into space, I just knew there had to be more to life.  I haven't always been in this place.  I am a commission only sales rep so if I don't work, no pay.  I could also relate to not remembering the stuff people would say to me.  I am a pretty bright woman, and have always been self-supporting.  (Just married for my 1st time at 46 - thank God the marriage just barely made it a year on March 20)  One more thing, try to be as honest as you can about symptoms - My Husband says I'm the best pretender he ever met cause instinctively I hid all "my craziness and depression"
from others all my life for fear they'd think I was crazy.  Just imagine if I got help sooner.  Hope this helps. I forgot one more diagnosis they added in the acute crisis ctr/ Borderline Personality Disorder.  The Roseanne Rosanna Dana diagnosis - depression,bi-polar, Borderline personality disorder, and boy was I disassociating!!

[J]

Suzanne - what medicine do you take?  You sound a lot like me and I have tried a lot of anti-depressants, but they always wear off after a few weeks.

[Cindy Nicolaw]

Thanks to everyone out their for making me feel special and for your comments. I will continue my pursuit in my diagnosis. Suzanne I am not currently on any perscribed medication. I am
taking Piracetam,to sharpen mental clarity, nuero-max,which has vinposetine, ginko, and other brain enhancers, same-e,for the depression(which I find extremely helpful) colon cleanse, colostrum, and all the b vitamins.Thanks again
.

[Suzanne]

to J:  I am currently taking Neurontin, Zyprexa, and Remarin.  It is going alot better than when I went into the crisis ctr. I was taking Neurontin, remarin, effexor fx, wellbutrin and I think one other.  I was on effexor fx for about 5-6yrs.  It was a killer to get off of it, but it has made all the difference in the world (so it seems).  I have had to increase the neurontin because I get these terrible achey (achy), painful joints, bottom of feet, actually my whole body hurts.  After the increase, that helped but I'm getting so I hurt again so I'll probably call the dr. and ask to increase.  I am also supposed to go to a rhumitologist (spelling?)  I describe the pain as everything hurts even my eyelids???!!  Hope this helps.

[joan]

Hi Cindy,  I believe that you know when your problems started. And I believe that it is very possible that the Depo-provera could have caused your problem. I say this because in the past couple of years the medical community has discovered that Hormone replacment Therapy improves memory and delayes Alzheimers.  So if Hormone replacement can help memory problems then why couldn't Depo-provera(hormones)mess up your hormone functioning.  Even though the hormone tests come back normal this doesn't mean much.  Ask any Dr.  These are just ballpark figures.  It's possible that hormone replacement therapy could help you. Talk to your Dr. about hormones and memory. Good luck.

[Suzy]

To Cindy (and anyone else with the same problem)
Hi..I know exactly what you are going through but I wish the doctors would listen to me.

Do you have any days that you have a clear head?I ask because I do off and on.I have lost 25 lbs because I am worried sick over this.One thing I have noticed is that when I get it bad,I have sinus infection,which nothing clears it up,just time,and I also have nosebleeds.I get so bad in the head I have to run and lay down,then I sleep for 3 to 4 hrs.That doesn't help though,I get up and the head is just as bad.The doctors just look at me like I am crazy.
Sorry,this is a mess.Now I forget what else I was going to say
Suzy