Please help me, at the end of my rope!!!

[Bernadete]

Posted by Bernadette on April 19, 1999 at 13:17:43
Up until a year ago I never had any health problems.  March of 1998, I found a lump in my breast and the doctor I went to wouldn't do anything, except tell me to watch the lump for two months.  For two months I did nothing but cry, think the worst and watch the lump.Since then my life has taken a drastic spiral downwards.  I'm a divorced mom of two boys who have no contact with their father.  I thought I was going to die because of this lump.  Since then my body has fallen apart.  Everything hurts and aches me, I have had so many tests done and nothing life threatening has come out of it.  But everyday I search my body for new things that might be wrong, new moles, new veins that show, new anything.  Lately I feel as though I can't swallow, I know that I do have some kind of throat infection right now.  
My point, my point is that my life has stopped.  This is on my mind 24/7 and I have no peace.  I have done everything I could think of to tell myself that I am okay, but I cry all the time about this,  I'm afraid my children will be alone with nobody.  I'm afraid that I'm dying, but nobody has found what is wrong with me yet.  I am always tired, my eyes always red, my neck and my upper body aches, can't swallow.  I am on Serzone 150 mg. a day right now, also taking .5 mg of Lorazepam.  I get headaches everyday and sometimes just wish they would find what is wrong at least if I knew I could find a way to live with this.  HELP ME PLEASE, I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE I CAN TAKE OF THIS WITHOUT BEING LOCKED UP!  I DON'T EVEN SPEND TIME WITH MY CHILDREN BECAUSE I DON'T WANT THEM TO GET ATTACHED TO ME IN CASE I AM DYING.  OH GOD, SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME.

Posted by HFHS.M.D.D.E. on April 23, 1999 at 09:48:35
Dear Bernadette;
From what you have described, there could be two possible psychiatric disorders that could explain your symptoms.  One is that you could have a depressive disorder.  This is characterized by a depressed mood (which you have described), loss of interest or pleasure in activities or it could also manifest in different physical symptoms. It seems to me that you are going through a lot of stress right now and it could very well be that you do have depression. You are now on an antidepressant (Serzone 150 mg./day).  This antidepressant's thereapeutic dose is from 300 mg. - 600 mg./day so you might want to discuss with your psychiatrist or primary care physician if the present dose you are on is not helping so it could be increased as needed.  You also might benefit from some type of counselling to help you cope better in overwhelming situations.
Another possible disorder that could explain your symptoms is Hypochondriasis. In this disorder, there is a preoccupation with fears of having a serious illness based on a misinterpretation of a bodily symptom - in your case, a breast lump.  This fear persists despite assurance from your physician that you don't have the disease and it could be severe such that the social and occupational functioning of patients gets affected.  Medications are not needed unless hypochondriasis occurs with depression or anxiety.  A good medical evaluation is needed to rule out any medical problems that could be contributing.  I hope this information was helpful.  It is however intended for general information and will not substitute for a medical consultation. If interested, please call the Henry Ford Behavioral  Services at [phone] for  a confidential evaluation.
Keywords: Depression/hypochondriasis