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Mental Health  (Expert Forum)
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Selfesh Wife
Answered by
Roger Gould, M.D. - Mental Health, Wellness
Questions posted in the Mental Health forum are being answered by Dr. Roger L. Gould, author of the Mastering Stress and Depression program and affiliated with the UCLA. Department of Psychiatry. Topics covered include anger, attention deficit disorder (ADD) , bipolar disorder , dementia , electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) , learning disabilities, memory, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) , panic , personality disorders, phobias , post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) , schizophrenia , stress , transitions, and work problems.

Selfesh Wife

by fixer5367, Oct 15, 2009 12:36PM
I am almost positive that my wife of 20 years enjoys masturbation at night as I sleep. I have been disturbed numerious times by the bed shaking from her obvious orgasium. When I ask her about it she denyes it and makes fun of me for saying anything about it.  I know it is happening but can't get the proof needed to demand that she admits there is a problem.

by Roger Gould, M.D., Oct 16, 2009 12:54PM
To: fixer5367
I assume this bothers you because you think she is doing that instead of enjoying you..if so, that is what you need to talk about.
Member Comments (4)

by zack32, Oct 16, 2009 07:50AM
Of course she is going to deny it. Don't you think for her that would embarrassing to admit? Not a doctor though so I can't say what will help her get help or how you can prove it.

by Paxiled, Oct 17, 2009 03:31AM
And this is a problem exactly how?

by Broggie1, Oct 19, 2009 11:22PM
To: Fixer5367
Like you I am male

I've been where you are at and I felt like it was a betrayal of myself, and viewed it very negatively.

I don't anymore...

My advice, instead of viewing it negatively, why not help her come to orgasm.  If necessary learn about female masturbation techniques, then use those techniques on her...
Sometimes all of us need extra sex male or female, and sometimes we don't want to bother our partner, or go to the extra effort of 'hiding the sausage'...we just want a bit of pleasure and an orgasm.

You can pleasure her, and you can both pleasure each other.  I found telling her what to fantasise about gave me an insight into what pleases her...quite apart from the fact that it is an intensely erotic experience both masturbating your partner to orgasm and watching them masturbate also.

Please don't feel it has only negative things to offer as you could lose out on so much.

This will only continue to be a problem if you make it so.


Ray.
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