Sex in marriage

[tinkiepixie]

Ive been married for a 9 months. Im a very positive , cheerful , sexual person.
Im having problems at this moment with my husband, He states im very insecure, jealous person, In a way he is right,
Im pretty , thin and sexy, but there is something that bothers me, Maybe i dont express it correctly to him. I mean we both like sex, but because of health issues we are not having as much sex we would want to. I know he loves me, and he cares, at the same time he has a bad temper , that is when problems start, I resent not having sex and then when we see tv. or walk together it bothers me when he looks at woman, not in a lust manner, because of lack of sex i get jealous ( thats what he says)
then he gets mad and is insultating , mean and rude. He tells me to grow up and deal with it,
it shouldnt bother me even if we were in a nude beach, i should trust him. in  a way i do at the same time telling me things that put me down doesnt help. when i aproach him sexually he states i put him in the spot, that turns him off, if i playfully say i want to have sex, he thinks im demanding. which if i say it its not meant this way.
i pass by his side showing my breast or tease him, he doesnt acknowlegdes it, in the morinings before i leave to work i wake him up so he can see me before i go to work and see how pretty i look.
maybe im not expressing myself correctly , this is causing a mayor problem in our marriage.
am i handling this incorrectly??
i sometimes touch him a lot and im affetionate with him. this is the way i am.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

It's not a matter of sex, it's a matter of communication about sex and intimacy...what you two need is a few long heart to heart conversations about this, and if you can't do it alone, there are plenty of family counselors to help you, and can probably do it in only  a few sessions....

[haupmann]

Well, im no expert, but i think you need to assert yourself a bit more. Or he should stop being a whiny pinhead. And maybe tell him to calm down a bit. As for sex, just give it some time. He's a guy.
Good luck being married.

[Paxiled]

If it doesn't work out, I'm here.  Well, no, I'm married, just a jokey way of saying there's a lot of men who would love to have someone like you around.  But only or awhile.  And here's the thing:  lust only lasts so long, and eventually you're going to get old and not so attractive; that's just how life is.  Perhaps your husband doesn't like to be pressured, or perhaps he has something going on inside him that's getting in the way.  Perhaps your sex drives are just mismatched.  There are so many possibilities.  And the day he stops looking at other women is the day he stops looking at you, too.  Looking isn't acting, and don't tell me you don't look at attractive men and lust after them.  That's life.  Thinking isn't acting.  You both have issues that need to be worked out, but it's also possible you're just not meant to be forever.  Whatever it turns out to be, I can guarantee that every person you ever love will lose part of that early lust, there are a lot of things in life to be passionate about, and sex is just one of them.  My wife wants sex a whole lot more than I do, and we're in our fifties, so it never ends, but it's certainly not breaking us up -- we just have to live with it.  Of course, she's not so thin and pretty, but then, we're old!