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Mental Health (Expert Forum)
What is wrong with me???
Answered by
Roger Gould, M.D. - Mental Health, Wellness
Questions posted in the Mental Health forum are being answered by Dr. Roger L. Gould, author of the Mastering Stress and Depression program and affiliated with the UCLA. Department of Psychiatry. Topics covered include anger, attention deficit disorder (ADD) , bipolar disorder , dementia , electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) , learning disabilities, memory, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) , panic , personality disorders, phobias , post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) , schizophrenia , stress , transitions, and work problems.
What is wrong with me???
by nyuchick8, Jun 24, 2009 12:49PM
i dunno if somethng is wrong wrong wth me, or is it just me!!!
the deal with me is that at tymes i hear, see or even thnk of stuff immoral attymes and i strongly condemn it and thnk that i'll neva do it ... i stand by it for sometym but then unconsciously or subconsciously i get scared that i might actually end up doing it....then starts the endless battle between my mind and my thoughts...part of me is fighting for my values my beliefs ...and part of it actually takes pleasure in hurting myself...its lyk two different persons fighting two different battles...i m the victim and i m the attacker in these battles.... sometimes it goes on for days, during this interval i cant concentrate on anythng, and therez always ths haunting thought that i'm gona do what i dun wana do ie the wrong thng...and usually it ends wth me doing that thing* and finding mysself out of control and unable to stop... [one thing i'll like to add is the initial destructive thoughts are not immoral at all times but the cud b damaging in one way or another for myself eg, if i see i got an A grade on my test and the highest in the class, a thought wud cross my mind that i'd like to flunk this or i wont study any further, it scares me and then no mattre how hard i try i end up not studying that subject for the next big test]
if i try to fight these thoughts back its pretty hard a struggle, but if i let it go ie not resist and let whateva thoughts might they be come and go as they please they don't affect me much emotionally but then this guilt builds up inside me that i m a bad person, a morally degraded soul...
it has been 5 yrs that i hav been suffering from this, at first it was mild but since the last 2 yrs it has totally destroyed my life.... i am gona go to hell, i am getting poor and poor at college work each day[ i used to b a straight A student in high school, one ov the best and now i m moving towards a flunkee at an unimaginable pace :(]
i dunno what to do....
the deal with me is that at tymes i hear, see or even thnk of stuff immoral attymes and i strongly condemn it and thnk that i'll neva do it ... i stand by it for sometym but then unconsciously or subconsciously i get scared that i might actually end up doing it....then starts the endless battle between my mind and my thoughts...part of me is fighting for my values my beliefs ...and part of it actually takes pleasure in hurting myself...its lyk two different persons fighting two different battles...i m the victim and i m the attacker in these battles.... sometimes it goes on for days, during this interval i cant concentrate on anythng, and therez always ths haunting thought that i'm gona do what i dun wana do ie the wrong thng...and usually it ends wth me doing that thing* and finding mysself out of control and unable to stop... [one thing i'll like to add is the initial destructive thoughts are not immoral at all times but the cud b damaging in one way or another for myself eg, if i see i got an A grade on my test and the highest in the class, a thought wud cross my mind that i'd like to flunk this or i wont study any further, it scares me and then no mattre how hard i try i end up not studying that subject for the next big test]
if i try to fight these thoughts back its pretty hard a struggle, but if i let it go ie not resist and let whateva thoughts might they be come and go as they please they don't affect me much emotionally but then this guilt builds up inside me that i m a bad person, a morally degraded soul...
it has been 5 yrs that i hav been suffering from this, at first it was mild but since the last 2 yrs it has totally destroyed my life.... i am gona go to hell, i am getting poor and poor at college work each day[ i used to b a straight A student in high school, one ov the best and now i m moving towards a flunkee at an unimaginable pace :(]
i dunno what to do....
Doctor's Answer
by Roger Gould, M.D., Jun 24, 2009 08:10PM
, Jun 24, 2009 08:10PMTo: nyuchick8u
The college years are a difficult time and at the moment you are suffering from an obsessive disorder which can be treated. You should go to the school counseling service or find a psychiatrist in your area and you will get a great deal of relief very quickly. The guilt and obsessive thoughts are already interfering significantly with your college career so please get help immediately.
