What's wrong with my husband?

[Kristi620]

Before I married my husband, I was concerned about his lack of emotions and social skills.  I grew up without a dad or brothers so I convinced myself that it was just because he was a guy.  However, in the three years we've been married and the stress of two very young children, I no longer believe his behavior is normal.  
He's 38 years old and holds a masters degree in History.  He's very intelligent but can't hold a job.  He gets interviews based on his resume but he loses the opportunity by his apathetic behavior and vague responses.  He is hyper-sensitive to criticism and will not accept suggestions.  He is not willing to "put on a show" for an interview.
He believes the world is out to get him and everyone has an alterior motive.  At times, he's shared very odd thoughts that our house is wired/tapped, chemicals were once pumped into his house, or that his car was sabotaged.
Our marriage is suffering.  He won't answer simple questions because he feels he's being interrogated or persecuted (his words).  He's easily annoyed with simple requests because "if he gives in, I'll dish out more."  We tried marriage counseling but he walked out cuz he thought he was being attacked.  
Words that best describe him are challenging, unwilling, ungrateful, inconsiderate, and unattentive.  He stomps around when he's angry and mutters cuss words to himself.  
He does not have low self-esteem.  Although he'd like to be working, it doesn't seem to bother him that I pay 90% of our finances.  Doesn't have a drug or alcohol problem.  All this being said, he is a very good father.
His childhood was definitely traumatic.  Mom had mental disorders so Dad won custody and moved away when he was 5.  When he was 9, his dad re-married a very strict lady who never had a loving relationship with him.  His step-brother died in a freak accident when he was 20 yrs. old.
Could he have a personality disorder?

[nuamor]

Hi Kristi i cant really imagine what you are going through but i'm sure its tough. I'm sure you are feeling as though you are running out of options in trying to help your husband, but keep this in mind, your husband has to help himself as well. It's easier said than done, but it could be done always remember that. I believe your husband has been suffering from post traumatic stress disorder for all of these years and that it has developed into paranoid personality disorder. Read up on both. Before he can start any counseling,  he needs to admit to himself first that there is a problem, once he can do that then i'd consider cognitive behavioral therapy.

Good luck...........things will work out.

[Kristi620]

thank you for your response.  i will read up on both.  i'm going to a psych next week to help me cope with him.  i've been trying to do everything for my husband.  i'm the one that gets him interviews.  he does need to help himself.  but he doesn't think he is a problem or has a problem.  now i'm looking out for me and how i can continue working and raising my kids.  i can't keep dragging him along.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

You have described some very serious symptoms and you are doing the right thing by seeing a psychiatrist and making sure your husband has a complete evaluation.  There is very little you can do other than be sure he  gets treatment.

[Kristi620]

I am seeing the psychiatrist to help me cope.  He is unwilling at this point.

[Kristi620]

I forgot to extend my gratitude for your response.  It was very much appreciated.