I am a 46 year-old
femaleCondoms
Female condoms
Female sexual dysfunction with a life long history of depression and post
traumaticAmputation - traumatic
Post-traumatic stress disorder stress
disorderAdjustment disorder
Anorexia nervosa
Asperger syndrome
Autism
Autoimmune disorders
Bipolar disorder
Bipolar disorder
Bleeding disorders
Borderline personality disorder
Bulimia
Chronic motor tic disorder. I am seeing a psychiatrist and a counsellor. I have been taking
PaxilPaxil
Paxil cr for 14 months...for the past six months, the dose was increased to 40 mg/day. I also take trazadone (50 mg) before bed and clonazapam (.5) when needed.
This week I had a couple of set backs...a tiff with my lover...very minor, really. I wrote my father and told him I never want to have contact with him again...then cried for 24-hours afterwards. I am afraid I am about to be hired for a job I need but don't want. I am very anxious about that.
Over the past 48-hours I have sunk to a very low point. I am thinking about
suicideSuicide and suicidal behavior, but know that logically, that is inappropriate and not an option. I have intrusive thoughts about injuring myself.
This kind of sudden plunge has happened before...despite my compliance with medications. I start to lose hope and feel that I will never be free of depression.
How can I sink so low while I am on so many medications? Why are my thoughts so intrusive and negative?
Cathy