Worried about my 17 year old

[lizandlou]

Hello all, Everytime my son has a girlfriend he becomes obsessed and does not come home until 10pm, I am so surprised his grades are good but this time around with this new girl he only met two months ago he started cutting class and failed one marking period due to his absentees.  Yesterday they broke up and he went into a deep depression, when I came home he was laying on the floor crawled up into a ball crying, and he even says he wants to kill himself and that he hates god.  He even said god I wish I had a beer to forget my depression.  He also continued to say how he has not slept, ate, and cant concentrate in school because of this girl.  I did not know what to do so I gave him a valium so he can relax for the rest of the night.  What should I do.  I am a single parent.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

By now the crisis will have probably past, but in the future you will have to take suicide talk seriously enough to have him evaluated by a professional if it continues.  Teenagers lose their perspective about these matters easily, and can be very impulsive, as you know, so give him a lot of love, remind him of a full life he has ahead of him, but keep alert in case it turns serious.

[sparkeler]

I think you should suggest therapy to your son. How old is he?  He sounds as though, he may have some sort of depression, but also attaches himself to these girls very easily, which usually stems from separation anxiety, which is a disorder.  My guess, he doesn't feel whole & he is clinging on to these girls as a way of making himself feel worthwile.  These type of people also have a hard time letting go of things, even if things just began.  

Is his father around? Was he a child of divorce or death?  Did he have anything semi traumatic happen when he was younger? He is missing something within himself; that I know for sure.  I have behaved the same way in the past.  (I'm a woman in my mid 20's & i have had alot of therapy to control these feelings; it's gotten better but will always be apart of me.)

I think that the valium was a smart choice for temporarily relaxtion.  However, there is something much deeper going on & he does need professional help.  Stay strong.  You are doing a good job.

[caregiver222]

Love is a wonderful thing and a break-up is always hard. Time cures all. More than one person (including myself) has considered suicide after being "dumped". Such experiences are a natural part of life. Frankly, I would be surprised to find anyone who was deeply in love that had not considered suicide briefly after the break-up. Perhaps one percent of the population. And they are autistic. I often suspect that one percent go on to medical school and become psychiatrists. The valium wasn't a bad idea. It's hard being a single parent and you deserve a pat on the head. At seventeen years old he is a man, however. Men deal with these things. I am not against therapy, but a single expression of suicidal intent immediately after a break-up is in my humble opinion, not necessarily a flag for "therapy". Things will work out for him.

[Blondyishere]

I disagree with the suicide thing.  I do not think that thinking about suicide is normal on any level.  I would not risk thinking that this is a temporary reaction to his breakup with his girlfriend.  No one knows what is going on inside of another person's head.  Feeling worthless, sad, crying, being depressed are maybe normal if it does not last past a few weeks...but suicide can be for real.  I would have my child in to the Dr ASAP.  If you love your son the way I think you do...by the fact that you are online asking for help...advice...then you will be devastated if something happens to him...act as quickly as possible...Listen to your son...and comfort him.  Valium was a great idea but long term could be addictive to such a young person.  Turning from one addiction to another is not the answer.  

[magen7984]

when i was 17 i had a simular situation i told my dad i wanted to kill my self over this guy. I just told him that for attention and so i would feel loved

[hrdcore]

don't listen to these morons minimizing parasuicidal precursors........take them d**n seriously.......u r in one he** of a hard situation as a single mom.....i have lived a life of family and personal issues.... keep a close yet not overbearing watch on things....if u even suspect drugs,alcohol,suic. depr. thoughts on his part.....get medical,phychological help asap.take it from me, iv'e been there....and still am, kids that age can go off on the smallest thing.....i think he will be fine.....but be wary is all....not tryin to sound upsetting by any means....just truthfull....don't dwell on it please......just sum advice from one who knows.......take care...P