I am an 18-year-old girl, with a history of depression and an eating
disorderAdjustment disorder
Anorexia nervosa
Asperger syndrome
Autism
Autoimmune disorders
Bipolar disorder
Bipolar disorder
Bleeding disorders
Borderline personality disorder
Bulimia
Chronic motor tic disorder - which has recently been brought under
controlControl
Control rx.
In the past month I have suddenly become excessively anxious about many things, especially being on my own, being attacked etc. Sometimes my
fearsFears and phobias border on the ridiculous... for example, a few days ago, I noticed an ambulance and a police car rushing to a house on my street - I concluded that there had been a murder in that house and the murderer might be coming to get me next. Now I realise that that was irrational, but at the time, I was terrified.
I have nightmares most nights, and usually wake up sweaty and very scared. I often then have trouble going back to sleep. I have woken up in the middle of the night every night in about 3 weeks. I don't always remember what my dreams were about, but I remember being very scared.
In the day time, I am not as anxious, but I do get hyperactive. I talk a lot, usually about rubbish. I feel like I should be saying something, even if it doesn't make sense. I sometimes even feel that it isn't me saying the things that come out of my mouth, like I have to concentrate hard to say the right things, as if I'm not controlling it.
From this, I easily slip into frustration - even
angerIslets of langerhans
Ovarian cancer dangers
Pancreatic islet cell tumor, at the slightest thing. And then back, in seconds.
I see things - flashes of light, or shadows, or shapes, and when I've looked back, they're gone.
I obssess about things, and blow very minor things out of proportion.
I sometimes get strange rituals into my
headHead and face reconstruction
Head injury
Head lice
Indications of head injury
Radial head injury - for example, if I'm feeling ill, I sometimes believe that if i press a certain part of my arm, I will feel better. Or i think that a certain piece of jewellery I'm wearing is bad and making me feel ill, so if i take it off, I'll feel better. I read somewhere that it is bad luck to sleep with your feet facing a door, and I now think that if I sleep with my feet facing the door - bad things will happen.
I get very worried that people close to me are going to leave me. I feel they see me as a pest, a burden. Like they are putting up with me.
Please help me.