borderline personality disorder

[tom]

It has been suggested that my wife may have borderline personality disorder by our marriage counselor.
She has some of the symptoms ( marked mood swings , periods of depression , irritability, intense uncontrolled anger, issues around trust concerning me). she was confronted by the counselor and he suggested a Psychological evaluation. she has rejected this and claims that I am the one with the problem and is refusing to see him again nor does she wish to go for further
counseling. My question is how can I help her.  Right now the situation is very volatile and she has transferred alot of her anger from the therapist onto me . I wonder if there is a technical self-test she can take to break through her denial.

[HFHS MD-JM]

Tom,

   I don't have a clue as to what you mean by technical self-test to break through her denial.  A personality disorder is a pervasive chronic situation so for your wife to have this diagnosis she has to display similar behavior with other people in different situations.  It may be helpful for your wife to seek individual therapy at this time if she is unwilling to continue in marital therapy.  It may also be helpful for you to seek individual therapy as I am sure this situation is having a significant impact on you as well.  Good luck.

Sincerely,

HFHS MD-JM

Keywords: Marital therapy, borderline personality disorder

[Richard de Graaf]

Dear Tom,

At this very moment i am in the same situation as you are, except for the fact that my wife is open for finding the problem.
To find out if your wife MAY have BPD buy the following book:
"Stop Walking on Eggshells"
By Paul T. Mason, M.S., and Randi Kreger.

This book was written for people who (think they) live with a partner that has BPD.
This book is not for the patient but for the partner and also contains a test to find things out, helps you to recognize and deal with the problems that come with BPD.

Good luck !

Richard de Graaf,
Arnhem, The Netherlands.

[Keek]

hey. I am married to a great guy. He has recently read many books that can help you. I am also BPD. I understand how dificult it must be for you. My husband has had a lot to deal with when it comes to me and my disease. Please read Shattered Mirror if you can find it. Whether or not your wife wants to see if she is or is not BPD, you may want to find a group that helps those living with BPD. It can be very helpful, and informative. I wish you the best of luck. Please try to remember that it is not her who may sometimes hurt you, but the BPD talking.