depression and anxiety or something worse?

[june-ray]

I am an 18 year old female with depression. I have been on antidepressants since I was 16. I was first precribed 30 mg of Cymbalta. I recently went cold turkey off the Cymbalta and about 4-6 weeks later I went through some of the worst times of my life. I first noticed that I had an unusually nervous stomach. Then a little while afterward, I was suddenly hit with this horrible, almost undescribeable feeling. It was a mixture of panic, fear, and being unreal. The next day, I felt as if I were in a dream. I also had a feeling of having cotton in the ears. I went to the doctor immediately, and he told me I should not have suddenly stopped taking my meds like I did, and put me back on cymbalta at 20mg. I continued to have the strange feeling in my head, but I also came down with terrible nausea to the point where I could not eat. I lost 15 pounds. I also developed tremors, shock-like sensations, ringing in the ears, and palapitations. I took a trip to the ER one night because my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. My tests all came out normal, and I was sent home. I was still feeling terrible, though, so I later returned to the doctor who put me on my original 30 mg, but it just seemed to make things worse and I started to get headaches. I also developed a sudden fear of having a brain tumor, and was literally in shambles because of it. I convinced myself that I was dying and was completely paralyzed with fear. I went to yet another doctor, and was told that everything I was experiencing was normal with my depression, but that the weird feelings were most likely panic attacks...something I had never previously had. She put me on Effexor 75mg. My original symptoms have gotten much better...no more dry mouth or nausea, no more tremors, I still get transient moments of feeling hazy or foggy. I did develop different symptoms with the effexor, though, such as tingling sensation, shock-like sensations, headaches, visual floaters, and irritability. Since all of this has happened, though, I cannot kick this fear of having a brain tumor or something seriously wrong with me. I constantly check the size of my pupils and repeat motor tests that were given to me when I was in the ER. I'm driving everyone around me crazy, because it's all I can seem to think about. I'm obsessed with the possibility that something is seriously wrong with me and I practically live everyday in fear that I am going to wake up one day and not be able to feel a certain side of my body. My doctors and family friends who are in the medical profession say I am just experiencing OCD and anxiety. It's just so hard for me to believe that antidepressants can cause all of the symptoms, can throw your body out of whack this much...plus, I visited the eye doctor about a week before these symptoms arose, and my doctor assured me that if something major were wrong with my head, he would have detected it. Is this all in my head? Can antidepressants cause this much trouble?

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

What you are experiencing now is anxiety and panic, and then panic about your anxiety. It's not totally clear that this was all caused by antidepressant withdrawal.  I suggest that you save yourself a lot of heartache and go see a psychiatrist who you can talk to about this in detail, and sort it out, and get to the root cause of your current anxiety.

[ABCMomof3]

Oh you little sweetheart. I am so sorry you are feeling this way and thinking this way. I am 39 years old and I know exactly how you feel!! EXACTLY!! The first time I ever had anxiety was when I was 17 and driving home from my girlfriends house; I thought I was going crazy and my vision was all distorted and every color on Gods green earth seemed way too vivid and it was all so weird; like I was dreaming or something.

I've been treated for anxiety and depression 3 times in my life, but if I would have went to the dr when I was much younger I would have been treated for it much sooner. You are going to be fine, I promise. You are going to be better then fine, you are going to be GREAT!!! You will be just fine, you will get this all straightened out and you will feel so much better and you won't have to worry anymore or live in fear.

I took effexor xr and ativan. I know about the symptoms you experienced with the weird brainy feeling (the electrical shocks and zaps; I had them too, when I went off of my effexor.......and my tummy was tied in knots and sometimes felt zippy (it's the only way I can describe it) and sometimes it felt like I could feel the blood swirling through my veins, I hated that. Mostly I felt really yucky and sick from no longer taking the antidepressant. And maybe that is what is happening to you, because you stopped taking your cymbalta so suddenly ( I did the same thing)

I do know this; you will get better and you will feel wonderful and happy and not nervous or anxious or scared and yucky anymore. You really are going to get better and you can trust your dr. to make sure of it. I did counseling for a long time and I felt completely confident going off of my meds (after taking them for 18 months) counseling really helps if you have a good conselor (one that gives you reassurance and provides coping techniques)

I'm so glad you are aware of everything happening and are seeking help for it. I wish I would have sooner.

Please try not to worry, you are healthy and everything is going to be okay. And I could go on and on about the incredible things I thought of when I was going through it full blown like you are; I examined my eyes too, took my temperatue all the time, ect.

Don't worry about driving people crazy, just take extra special care of youself and I will say a prayer for you tonight.
xx

[june-ray]

thank you so much for your kindness. it's just that when i seem to feel comforted about things, it never lasts very long. somehow, this fear always seems to come back to bite me. i was just amazed and shocked at how suddenly this came about. one day you're fine, then BAM! the next day you're completely unwoven. everytime i get a headache (which is rather often) i curl into a ball, and think "oh god, it's a tumor, and that's why i have this headache right now." i feel almost as if i am a shell of the person i was 2 months ago.

however, i did just recently have my first counseling session, and i am lined up for them for the rest of the year. so, i'm hoping that all turns out well, and that maybe i really will be okay.

[anya77]

Dear june-ray,

i feel so sorry that you are going through anxiety and panic attacks. I know exactly how you feel. I've been experiencing the same things as you for about a year, with many visits to ER at nights and every single day living in a fear that i will probably die soon either from a heart attack or a stroke.

The good news is that this condition is very treatable if you are determined to get better. I was free of anxiety for almost a year now, with the help of a good psychologist (God bless her), 20mg prozac and also reading and learning from the web about panic attacks and depression.

I read that depression and many other psychological conditions are developed when curtain chemicals (such as serotonin in case of depression) do not get transported to curtain parts of the body. Surprisingly and fortunately, with simple mental exersises (ask your psychologist about those) these chemical reactions can be restored. Therefore, we have to know and follow simple rules through all our lives to have a good mental health. I even think that there need to be a "mental health" class introduced to the high school education, to give the kids guidence to a healthy and happy life.

However, if you got more serious condition, such as panic attack disorder or depression, just mental exersises will not help if you are not experienced with those. Therefore, drugs which inhance the healthy chemistry in the body, such as antidepressants, are usually prescribed. The drugs provide you with the jump start. You will feel better and will get enough strenght to fight the disorder. Just the drugs, though, do not provide you with the complete security, therefore, therapy together with the medication lead to a complete recovery.

I really beleive you will get better, and you are already on the right track since you are on this site. It is not easy, but it is possible to completely recover. You are so young - a long and interesting life fool of adventures is ahead of you!

Good luck!

[Pum]

Hang in there.  It all sounds so familiar.  Esp the feeling comforted for a bit then back into the same old fears (or slightly new ones). It's almost like an addiction to anxiety and seeing a doctor or having a test (or reading the internet) relieves the anxiety for a bit.  I think it is OCD around health anxiety.  I found paxil worked a treat for this problem.

Cognitive behaviour therapy also works very well for this type of problem.

It's highly unlikely you have a brain tumour.

I wish you all the best.

[june-ray]

I just wanted to let everyone know, I am going for a CAT scan on Monday, which the doctor says is jus to "ease my mind". I'm sure that's what a lot of other people getting Cat scans were told, too. haha. He told me there was zero percent chance that I have a brain tumor. I hope he is right, because I haven't been able to eat since he told me I was getting one, and probably won't be able to eat until I know the results...which I am expecting the worst. I just know that there is something terribly wrong with me. Everyone around me thinks that I am insane, though. I am actually afraid that I might prove them wrong.

Keep me in you thoughts, please. I'll check back with the results.

[WhyMeGod]

I know exactly how you feel sweetie, and the frustration of everyone telling you there is nothing wrong only makes you feel worse...I have had very bad paranoia and anxiety along with long standing bouts of depression that kept me lazy, in bed, avoidant of social situations and alot more, basically fearing our greatest fear all the time..the fear of the big bad INSANITY..bottom line is this BS left untreated and ignored only progresses over time into obsessive compulsive issues that become REAL physical distresses, we are only human and chemical changes do take place in your mind and body as a result of constant worry and pondering...your mind controls EVERY aspect of your body, and it's a very delicate balance that we take for granted it seems until it's seemingly "too late" but alas, it is NEVER too late...right now I am going through the absolute hardest time of my life I have ever experienced and honestly think many others would have given up by now..I thought I had cancer, aids, you name it..I was convinced I had it...I got every test I could under the sun and all the stress and discomfort that comes along with it...everything changes and it took some time for myself and you to get to this point, thus you surely cannot reasonably expect to just snap out of it..it will take some time but it is basically impossible for it to stay the same, which is really what most of us are scared of..everything comes to pass, and this too shall pass. I promise you. It seems like forever right now because you are overly aware of everything and I know EXACTLY how you feel...exactly. It can be fixed and you can get thru this no matter what happens....there is always another chance ahead for us all and many other people have recovered from much worse.

[june-ray]

well, i had my CAT scan and got the results back. NORMAL. i'm happy in a way, but i'm left with the frustration that so many of you talk about. i don't want anything to be seriously wrong with me, i just would like to know what the hell is wrong with me!

my doctor also wanted to up my meds, which i am not sure is such a good idea. i guess i'll try anything from here, though.

[WhyMeGod]

Try accepting that you are ok, and you did whatever you could be reasonably expected to do to make certain of it..its so hard I know, I'm dealing with it right now.. thinking that I will never be like I used to be, thinking I can't remember anything, thinking I have MS, had a stroke, you name it, all trying to explain why I feel so crappy...we keep waiting for that "everything is really ok" feeling and it just doesnt seem to be there anymore cause we are so past that point emotionally. In jumping from one thing to another to another trying to find an explanation for why you feel like you do, you can easily create a vicious cycle of mental stress and the resulting chemical and physical changes that occur with it..Remember, you are not "fighting with your brain" you ARE your brain...it is one entity you exist within. When you realize that you ultimately are your brain and let go of the worry you can start to get better and heal..it takes time so just be patient and don't let the panic keep holding you back, I'm trying to do this same thing and it's very hard I admit, just pray and remember that all things will change in time.

[june-ray]

i know this is silly, but i have been reading things on the computer that say that CT scans can sometime miss brain tumors. is a CT  a good enough scan or should i have had an MRI? or if a brain tumor is big enough to cause symptoms, would it definetly show up on a CT? does anyone know anything about this? i am really worrying myself...

[NotMyself]

I went through the same thing when I was your age (I am now 33). Frequent headaches, anxiety, depression, etc.

I learned over the years that not eating can cause what I call a "malnutrition" headache, which can turn into a migraine, which can cause loss of appetite and nausea. To avoid this vicious cycle, I try to eat several small meals/snacks throughout the day. Even if you lose your appetite you should try to eat something. I would recommend eating small bites of pasta or bread. I had to give up dieting and skipping meals ~ I just eat better and exercise to lose weight (it works). Drinking milk helps settle my stomach too. And I try to stay hydrated. When I don't drink enough water for a day or two, it makes me feel CRAPPY. Oh, and forget skipping dinner before a night of drinking. I try to avoid alcohol altogether (but I still have the occasional drink).

There are other causes of migraines too: too much sun in the eyes, stress/anxiety, certain foods, hormone fluctuations, fumes, and I am sure there are more. I used to get them for any reason in the book, but Paxil (20mg each day) got them under control. Now they are usually related to hormone fluctuations/menstruation (they occur every 4-8 weeks and can last 24-72 hours). It seems to help if I avoid eating cheese and chocolate. There are migraine meds but I had a bad reaction and cannot take them. So I take one tylenol sinus pill (even though it is not a sinus headache) with 200mg ibuprofen AS SOON AS THE HEADACHE STARTS. I carry meds with me everywhere I go~ I never let myself get stuck anywhere without them. I repeat the dose if it is still bad or is getting worse after 45 minutes. If it is really bad I take a small dose of percocet (1/4-1/2 pill) to make the pain bearable and to be able to sleep. I always eat something when I take pills to avoid upset stomach. Also, Paxil (which increased to 60mg each day) still helps reduce my headache frequency. I think it is primarily because it reduces anxiety/stress.

I hope this info helps you with your headaches.

After 10 years of taking SSRIs (prozac, paxil, etc), they seem to have stopped working as well they used to for depression/anxiety. I am researching my most recent symptoms online because I think it may be PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) "more severe symptoms of PMS, depression, anxiety, tension, extreme mood swings, fatigue, and bloating". I also have other issues - trying to get over post traumatic stress and other problems. I will be posting a Q of my own for these.