Member Comments are provided by individuals and reflect their personal opinions only. Under NO circumstances should you act on any advice or opinion posted in this forum. ALWAYS check with your personal physician before taking any action regarding your health! MedHelp International and our partners, sponsors and affiliates have no obligation to monitor any comments posted on this site, or the content and/or accuracy of such exchanges. MedHelp International does not endorse the views of any user.
Mental Health (Expert Forum)
getting over a bad relationship
Answered by
Roger Gould, M.D. - Mental Health, Wellness
Questions posted in the Mental Health forum are being answered by Dr. Roger L. Gould, author of the Mastering Stress and Depression program and affiliated with the UCLA. Department of Psychiatry. Topics covered include anger, attention deficit disorder (ADD) , bipolar disorder , dementia , electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) , learning disabilities, memory, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) , panic , personality disorders, phobias , post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) , schizophrenia , stress , transitions, and work problems.
getting over a bad relationship
by thistlegirl66, Jul 14, 2007 12:00AM
Hi,
My boyfriend of 18 months has recently been a little off.
I have since discovered that he had been chatting with the ex prior to me.
The thing is that he was so in love with her but, she was so wrong for him. He believes she may be a sociopath. She had several men on the go at once, she lied to him and was not very trusting. He had to end it ( reluctently) after being with her a little over a year. He has been so honest with me and I knew something was bothering him so I asked and he told.
He is on aniexty meds since their breakup. He cant stop thinking of her and he knows shes bad news but he can't seem to get past that. He say's he loves me and knows that he made the right decission to stay with me.
What can I do to move forward and what can he do to put her back in the past.
I need to trust him again and I know he only chatted with her a few times but, he's been nothing but honest throughout our relationship and sometimes a bit too honest....
HELP
My boyfriend of 18 months has recently been a little off.
I have since discovered that he had been chatting with the ex prior to me.
The thing is that he was so in love with her but, she was so wrong for him. He believes she may be a sociopath. She had several men on the go at once, she lied to him and was not very trusting. He had to end it ( reluctently) after being with her a little over a year. He has been so honest with me and I knew something was bothering him so I asked and he told.
He is on aniexty meds since their breakup. He cant stop thinking of her and he knows shes bad news but he can't seem to get past that. He say's he loves me and knows that he made the right decission to stay with me.
What can I do to move forward and what can he do to put her back in the past.
I need to trust him again and I know he only chatted with her a few times but, he's been nothing but honest throughout our relationship and sometimes a bit too honest....
HELP
Doctor's Answer
by Roger Gould, M.D., Jul 17, 2007 12:00AM
, Jul 17, 2007 12:00AM
I think the very best thing you can do is to continue to have honest conversations, and during those conversations help him deal with the contradictions so he recognizes that he is stuck in an obsession. When that happens, its time for him to see a therapist and resolve it there. Keep your perspective.
All you can do I think is be there and make sure he does what the Doctor says. My obsession about women in the past just raises its wings and flys away...it is that quick.
However, now in the back of my mind is OMG I guess i was second choice if she would take him back. Now I need to work on moving forward or as much as it hurts do I move on alone with my kids????
I don't want to drive myself crazy thinking or being suspicious.
thanks