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Mental Health (Expert Forum)
losing the beauty
Answered by
Roger Gould, M.D. - Mental Health, Wellness
Questions posted in the Mental Health forum are being answered by Dr. Roger L. Gould, author of the Mastering Stress and Depression program and affiliated with the UCLA. Department of Psychiatry. Topics covered include anger, attention deficit disorder (ADD) , bipolar disorder , dementia , electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) , learning disabilities, memory, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) , panic , personality disorders, phobias , post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) , schizophrenia , stress , transitions, and work problems.
losing the beauty
by Baukida, Apr 27, 2001 12:00AM
I am diagnosed the major depression, but I am on the medication and in psychotherapy for three years. I feel extremly much better than before, except in the one area of life: physical appearance. I am not unattractive and I have a happy relationship, but I am 36 and I am visibly aging. I cannot stand half-naked (or complitely naked, on TV)young women everywhere around me. It depresses me imensly. what depresses me the most is that exposing female bodies is invented by man and it's ment for men. Nobady asks how do millinos of women that do not look like models or are not under 30 feel. And if one, as a woman, dares to say anything against it, one is labeled as puritanic or stupid. I am not puritanic and I enjoy sex, and I am certanly not stupid. But I am fed up of being ruled by mens tastes.
Baukida
Baukida
Doctor's Answer
by Roger Gould, M.D., Apr 28, 2001 12:00AM
, Apr 28, 2001 12:00AM
I think you are talking about a real social-cultural problem, more than a psychological problem. Many women complain about the same thing...and those who don't complain, think the same. The female/youth culture is what it is...a way our society expressed its current values...and none of us are going to change that anytime soon.
The psychological task is to deal with this reality. The problem you are having is common and real...you can't stop comparing yourself and you continue to want to be like them. That's what you have to concentrate on...not letting your self esteem suffer because you are not one of them. Once you do that, you eliminate the link to the social reality that is causing you distreess...then you have mastered this reality, and will no longer be a victim of it. You may continue to dislike the way the system works, but it won't meant the same to you.
The psychological task is to deal with this reality. The problem you are having is common and real...you can't stop comparing yourself and you continue to want to be like them. That's what you have to concentrate on...not letting your self esteem suffer because you are not one of them. Once you do that, you eliminate the link to the social reality that is causing you distreess...then you have mastered this reality, and will no longer be a victim of it. You may continue to dislike the way the system works, but it won't meant the same to you.
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Write soon
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Carol in Netherlands