not normal

[montana119]

I have been on paxil for over a month now.  I started on it due to the fact that I seemed to have all the symptoms of social anxiety.  I haven't dated for about 7 years.  Any more I seem to be content in my home by myself.  Don't get me wrong, I am not depressed per se.  I am actually a very upbeat person.  I have noticed however that I can never stop moving, I always have to be reading or learning to feel comfortable, and I have noticed twitches with my face.  Also when I am in public, I am extremely careful due to the feeling I am being watched.  Once I get around familiar people that feeling goes away.  It seems I just can't turn my brain off.  If I'm not learning, then it wanders off thinking about nonsense.  Which could be the problem with my social disabilities.  Once it starts wandering I end up not doing anything which seemed allright a couple minutes prior.  The paxil hasn't had any effect on my life as of yet.  If I am unable to stimulate my mind so to speak, I usually pace back and forth.  Sometimes for quite awhile until something comes up.  If I need to go outside I have to make sure noone is in the pool because I live in apartments.  If there is anyone in it I just wait until they go in.  I do attend college, but avoid getting asked questions to the extreme.  I am taking an online course due to the fact that the one offered at school requires an oral report which I will do anything to avoid. I also have a tendency to get extremely bored all the time.  If something looks neat or seems like a great idea, I end up not being as interested by it once I obtain it.  The feeling of interest goes away almost instantly, then I search for another neat object or idea to read about or buy. I just need to know what you think the problem is and if you have any suggestions for me.  I know this behavior is not normal and the paxil doesn't seem to be the solution.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

Here's what I think is happening.  Your social anxiety is keeping you from human contact, and the opportunity to move your life in the direction of more contact, dating, a family, friends etc.  You are missing and avoiding a very important part of your life. We all have a need for human contact.

When you are busy learning  you feel you are being productive alone, and this is a compensation for what you are missing. But you can't do that 100% of time, so your denial breaks down and you start thinking about the problem, or drift off into nonsense of amorphousness, another way of avoiding the awareness.

You have to conquer the social anxiety.  Your best approach is psychotherapy.  The essential ingredient is an absolute awareness that you must do it.

You can get some immediate online help from the masteringstress program link above.

[sienna_1]

I have almost exactyly the same symptoms except that I get obsessed with things that my mind gets interested in.  LIke i can get totally spun out on the correlation between math and music and fractals and Pythagoras and fibonacci sequences and nature and am trying to understand the connections but am too manic to focus sometimes.  And I take the social anxiety to a level where i think people aree following me or that there are cameras, things that border on psychotic, but to me make sense even if doctors think that they donnt.  Anyways iM curious to see what the doctor says to you.

[montana119]

Don't take this the wrong way, but I am almost happy that I am not the only one with these symptoms.  It seems that we have about one symptom for everything.  I too am curious to read what the doctor says.  I have lived like this for too long.  By the way, I too get a little "tied up" in certain things.  It may sound weird but I find that if I watch a movie or something similar, maybe a documentary, that I can relax and enjoy my evening.  But once my mind finds something interesting to do, it's all over.  I end up buying books on the subject and research it until I get bored with it then move on to another topic.  I have figured that the doctor takes about 1 to 2 days to respond so keep checking back, he should respond soon.  By the way, finding correlations between two subjects such as you explained is fascinating.  I would love to hear your ideas.  Such things have lead to great discoveries.

[Unnilhexium]

I have had social phobia for nearly my whole life (afourtunately I'm young), and still suffer from it. I don't know if this is the same that social anxiety, but, anyway. You need psychological therapy at least, and depending on how difficult or deep is your case you may need medications. My whole life everyone thought I was a very shy girl who was always lonely and didn't speak with anyone unless they spoke with her, and, in those cases, answered in an almost inaudible voice. I never get to have a close friendship in my childhood or adolescence. When I started showing intense depressive syntoms they took me to a psychiatrist who didn't help me at all, never gave me the right medications, etc. He ended quitting of me, because he felt unable to help me. Then I went to another psychiatrist who always told me that I had major depression, nothing else...She tried hundreds of anti-depressives on me, all of of them did nothing to me except for some that make me feel very tired all of the time. The therapy was un-usefull too, my psychologist never hit the right spot. So I ended with both. And started with another psychiatrist who also was specialliced in psychoanalysis. The first sessions were awefull, I was almost unable to talk to her, I was used to being asked about different things, but now I was the one who had to lead the therapy...Slowly things were changing, she gave me a diagnose (bi-polar, paranoid and obsesive (specially a sick
perfeccionism) features, social phobia, schyzo-afective caracteristics, etc) and I quit taking all the medications I was taking before and started with new
ones...I haven't had maniac episodes since then (while them I wasn't myself), my depression hasn't felt down yet, despite I know my disease is a cronic disease (at least the bi-polar one) for the many cases I've seen in my family. My social phobia is far from being cured because it hasn't been treated for too many years and its roots have grow inside of me, making something difficult to extirpate.
The social anxiety can be treated and don't feel abnormal for suffering from it, talk with an speciallist, it's not a cronic disease, but it's a very self destructive one.

By the way, sorry for my awful english.

[marrs]

Hi.i suffer from very similar symptoms of excessive shyness and social withdrawal.i also tend to avoid social situations that will 'put me on the spot'.i also like to keep myself busy with something i find worthwile/useful when i am alone.i have only just bought a computer and it is such a relief to find out i am not alone.i read the doctors comments for your question and i think he's right in saying the social avoidance must be faced as it is the only way out. My psychiatrist suggested to me to get on the web and do some chatting.i wish you all the best.

[marrs]

Hi. It's a relief to find another person going through the same problems that i am. i've had excessive shyness and social anxiety since i can remember.i feel anxious as i write now. My shyness is as if i'm trying to protect myself from the fear of being seen by other people as a person who is not 'normal' or that people my judge me as an uninteresting person and i am very sensitive to this. In the last year i have also been diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder (ocd) for which i'm getting treatment of medications and behaviour therapy and both have helped me a lot in improving my symptoms. i've never dated and in my childhood i only had one close friend.i also spend quite some time by myself which as you said is self  destructive. i too find myself to be a bit of a perfectionist, which through my reading on ocd have found it is a personal characteristic of ocd sufferers.The important thing to realise,i think, is that we are not alone in this and we must seek support from others, especially those who have similar problems and therefore understand us and face these problems with their support. As in my note to montana119, my  psychiatrist suggested to me to chat on the web as a first step for me in facing the social anxiety. i sincerely wish you the best with your health.