ocd or tourette disorder

[lin]

hi iam a 24yr old female.i know i have a form of ocd where i have pure obcessions.It started about 5yrs ago-i would obcess about getting thyroid disease(my father has it)-then i obcessed i had a brain tumor-then m.s-when i had it all checked and they found nothing i feared i was going crazy-then i obcessed i would go crazy and hurt my family.After a long process of reassuring myselfnone of this would happen because these are involuntary thoughtsi stopped obcessing about that andstarted obcessing that what if i cant stop obcessing-what if these thoughts come into my headuncontrollably.So to reassure myself began saying the obcessions voluntarily.Then i i obcessed what if i have invouluntary thhoughts about everything-like if an involuntary thought came into my head after everything i would hear -say -or think.So again-i praciced it voluntarily so when it would happen involuntarily i could know what to do-just accept the thought and change the picture.i also obcessed that if i could have these thoughts internally-why not out loud-i put those thoughts to rest when reassuring myself obcessive thoughts are a form of ocd and noone w/it says their obcessions out loud.I have almost mastered putting my bad thoughts to rest-and i have never had a compulsion.My concern is is this normal of ocd-i had it under control until i saw a girl on t.v. w/tourette syndrome and i realized i have what she has except internally.Could this be beginning signs of tourette?Also-i had an mri  done about 3yrs ago-i read that tourette is a neurological disorder-would it have shown up on the mri if i had it?

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

Nothing you described sounds like tourette syndrome. Are you being treated or are you treating yourself.  If you are treating yourself you are doing a good job of controlling your symptoms, but you are not getting the relief you deserve. See a psychiatrist and get treatment.

[Allison]

Just wanted to comment.  I'm not sure about the Tourette aspect but wow do you sound a lot like me.  You are not alone.  I have OCD which has the majority of the time leaned heavily toward pure obsessions only.  I've had those same obsessions as you, and even some that are worse which I won't print because I'm afraid someone else with OCD will read them and start worrying about the same things!

Like you I've obsessed about just obsessing, I've worried about saying things out loud, I've obsessed about going crazy.  I've had horrible images.  I've worried the images will be there forever.  I've had "mental" compulsions, which means I have counted or prayed or chanted silently excessively to ward off whatever particular obsession was circling through my head at the time.  I've never really had physical compulsions, although at one point as a child I went through a stage of having to touch everything evenly with each hand exactly the same so that I wouldn't be "uneven" forever.

Do you ever notice how when you get genuinley distracted by something all these obessions seem to disappear, if even just for a moment?  That is the key to cognitive control of the symptoms.  Like you said, accept the thought and let it go.  If you have a bad image, lay another image over it then allow yourself to be distracted by something else.  It really works!

I don't think you can be aware of having Tourette's syndrome, and I think it's something you are born with (but I'm not sure.)  The way you present your concern, it seems like yet another one of your obsessions.

[lin]

id like to reply to allison-thank you for your comment -you helped ease my mind and i appreciate it.

[Peter]

Yeah ,exactly! There are lot of times I have obessional thoughts. I use to experience tics and some fear when entering a store because I was afraid that I would be wrongly accused of stealing, though I have never stolen. I ahd alot of other thoughts where I was afraid that I would do something I did nt want to. It gets even more bizzare. There are involuntary thoughts and bad images.  What I hate most is the constant fear that I will go crazy. This makes it difficult to take any medications, the loss of control is a paralyzing fear. I have alot of saoapish thoughts too, where i can see myself in car accidents or similiar trajedies, or I can be at a press conference handling questions. For years my mother tried to push valium on me because she thought I had tourette syndrome because of my constant tics. I had refused valium because I think she was trying to control me (I embarassed her alot it seemed). Still have them daily tics but at least I have isolated it to one eye. The most astonishing thing is that Iam 33 and have only now realized I have a chemical imbalance. I thought it was some special destiny to suffer, Ive always felt unique and alone.