Midlife Crisis User Group
I hope this forum will help me
About This Group:

A place where people can come to discuss their experience with midlife crisis. Support and words of wisdom for the spouse that is not in crisis, what is going on in the head of the spouse who is in crisis, how each party can best handle it, what works and does not work.

Founded by j7653 on October 2, 2009
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I hope this forum will help me

Hi, I have been married for 29 years and November 2008 I found out that my husband was having an emotional affair with a co-worker (the three of us work together) for about 5 months. She is 22 years younger than he is. He turned 60 in April 2009. To say the least I was devastated. I begged him to consider what he was doing to our marriage and then I begged her to consider her family and her marriage.  She quit our office and told my husband it was over.  My husband moved in with a friend at the end of January 2009 and May 5th he called and said it was over with her and could he come home.  I said yes and for 8 months he says he tried to get the spark back for me but while he was concentrating on me, the thought of her kept popping up in his mind.  Anyway, he moved out again this Feb 13th. The other woman has been working on her marriage and they have been in conseling for a year. I hear through channels that their marriage is better than ever.  My husband says he loves me but can't be the husband I deserve while he still has feelings for someone else.  To me this is a classic mid life crisis and while I hope to have him come to his senses, I know I must move on. I am so sad and have turned this over to God. What I would really appreciate from this site is a mans opinion on what my husband is going through. I know in my heart that if those two were to get together it would not last.  The only thing that had in common was their work. At the time they became close, she was not getting attention from her husband and I was too busy taking care of his mother and my new grandchild.  I know I neglected him.  Please help me.  Thanks!
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi, I have just read your post. I am also going through the same thing as your husband. I meet a young woman 2 years age at work. We became friends but not too close. When we first meet she scared me a little and looking back there may have been some underlying attraction from the start but at the time it didn't interfere with my life, we were just friends. About 9 months ago something changed dramatically and I lost control of my feelings and didn't really understand what was going on with me. I would go for walks a cry. I would even start to cry when I was shopping. It has been so painful. I can't turn off these feelings even now, but I have them under control and I concentrate on my wife. We spend as much time together as possible. Weekends away and the like.
We have been married for 24 years now and up until now we had a beautiful life together, but I have changed and I still have these feelings today. They have become part of my life at the moment. There is a Fourum called Divorse & Breakups. Look for 'Mid life crises in Men and have a read of it. It may help you. I too have layed my trust in God as I can't see any other way.

Best wishes.
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