Boyfriend Annoyed By Migraines

I have recently moved in with my boyfriend (three weeks ago), and we are in an adjustment period. He has, however, let me know that he finds it difficult to be affectionate toward me because of my migraines.

I have just started birth control to stop the migraines, and so far it has exascerbated them and I have had terrible pain (mostly at night) for over a week now. He works from home, often well into the night, and likes to play music quite loudly. Of course, this is not possible when I have a headache. He has told me that this bothers him. I am not disrupting his TV watching because he does not watch TV.

I dont know how other people's husbands or boyfriends react during a migraine attack. Is this normal? Part of me feels angry, but the other part can understand that it must be difficult for him. I am not asking anything of him, other than the occasional cup of tea or piece of toast. It would be nice to have the type of man who brings you warm washcloths for the forehead, or gives foot rubs, but he is not that kind of a guy and knew that getting into this whole situation.

Does he have the right to express these feelings?

ps. I also started a Medrol pack yesterday, but it has (oddly) not helped. I am visiting a chiropractor this afternoon. The only thing that works for me now is Darvocet. My neurologist and i have tried every other form of medicine but with zero effects.

[jenny2008]

hi,

Julian

Birth control pills are supposed to increase migraines since they contain hormones .

They are never used to stop migraine.

Simple pain killers help
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/migraine-headache/DS00120/DSECTION=8

Regarding your personal life i can only say if a person who doesn't care about you really is required .

[noops01]

Hi,

Are you on extended dosing of birth control pills? meaning on a three month on and a week off basis? Did your doctor prescribe them to you for migraine or did you start them on your own? Also if you smoke i suggest you quit as soon as you can. Hope you feel better soon.

[Nikki1381]

Birth control pills usually make migraines worse. For a pain killer, try Fiorinal. Works for me. Just don't take it too often, or you could suffer from rebound migraines. As far as your boyfriend, maybe he would be more understanding if he learned more about migraines? They are a disease, and if he is not supporting you when you have an attack, it will only stress you out and make them worse. I would have a serious talk with him and tell him you need his love and support. Good Luck!

[momof23191715]

Birth control pills usually make migraines worse.  Please try to get off the pills.  Have you tried any of the triptan drugs for the pain?  Examples:  imitrex, zomig, relpax, maxalt.  I have had much success with all of them.  As for the boyfriend, he sounds like a real jerk.  My husband and kids are very understanding of my migraines.  They are there to help and support me.  Even if that means being real quiet while I lay down.  I am also there when they aren't feeling well.  He needs to grown up and try to help you.

[love1221]

My husband is very understanding of my migraines, and he always has been.  He gets really worried when I get one and does anything he can for me. I took topomax (topamax) for a while to prevent migraines.  It is originally for epilepsy, but does work for migraines in some people.  I increased my doses to about 150 mg and it still wasn't helping.  I then switched to Elavil or amitriptylin 25 mg. to prevent my migraines.  It has worked really well.  I also was told not to take anything over-the-counter like tylenol or advil.  Because if you take too much of it, because your head is still hurting, you can get a "rebound" headache from the medication. The Darvocet N-100's work really well for me.  I can take a half of one and it really gets rid of the headaches.  You may mention the elavil to your dr. and see what he thinks.

[LifesAHeadache]

Jillian,  yes get off the BP pills but some doctors do prescribe them for Migraine without the placebo pills - it works for some people but can be stroke threatening for others.  First the migraine, all the research documentation I have read says that prednisone will not work for Migraines.  But really ask the doctor about Elevil, love1221 used 25 mg.  I had to take 175 mg a day (worked up to it.)  So it just shows how people are different.  My daughter is 15 and takes 50mg and it helps.  Also, Toradol/Benedryl/phergen at the Urgent care will really help get the headache under control.

Now to the boyfriend - My boyfriend was like yours but not quite as bad. After we fell in love he felt he really needed to quit his job.  I finished college - BTW - I fought my university for disability status because of my Migraines.  Never needed to use it but I wanted to set precedent for other students.  I graduated college, got a good job, and put my unemployed, bill ridden (now husband) through 2 different appreticiships.  I was making 72,000 a year and had only been on two real vacations in my life.  He progressively got worse about my headaches and then I literally became just a paycheck for him.  He did nothing for my daughter except push her to be the sports hero that he never was.  He began to drink and as soon as he landed his "good job" making 70-80 thousand a year - I was exhausted.  It took him 10 years.  Hitting perimenopause, my headaches were uncontrollable,  my blood pressure would get bad, my job was so stressful the doctor put me on disability.  I was getting pay, just not as much.  The first day, I did alot of things for my husband and by 4:00pm I had to sit down to rest.  My husband yelled at me "that I was not going to sit on my fat *** all day now".  I started therapy where after several months I learned not to yell back at him.  He then turned to my daughter because he knew I would move heaven and earth to protect her.  And he could get me to yell that way.  He did a couple more scary things and the next morning when he left for work - I filled up the old beat up car with clothes and had to check in to "secret" hotel for a few days.  When I picked up my daughter from school and told her we couldn't go back her response was "Daddy won't hurt (name) our dog will he".   I called and told him we weren't coming home.  Left him a letter of how I would reconcile only if he changed.  He didn't call my cell for 15 weeks.  So after 14 years of paying off his bills, supporting him to get a good job, he got to keep the $35,000 car because I can't afford the payment.   He got to keep the house because I couldn't afford it.  He refuses to pay one dime for my daughters private education -I have left out details that are even more disgusting.  Sorry for this long post but I want you to truly understand that if you have a boyfriend who is like this when you are young and vibrant, what will you do if you ever marry and God forbid have a stroke or get cancer.  Please learn from my experience with a boyfriend who was irritated with my Migraines.